wrestling / Columns

The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks 04.03.08

April 3, 2009 | Posted by John Meehan

Welcome back, all — and thanks for tuning in for the final MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks before WrestleMania 25! As is our usual tradition, we’ll be skipping over the relatively light week that was in wrestling news (Vince and Dixie exchanged words and Tazz called it a career — for now) in order to shine our spotlight directly on The Grandaddy of Them All — WRESTLEMANIA.

And since MeeThinks has always been committed to highlighting the *positive* aspects of the ‘rasslin business whenever possible…

Basically, the format breaks each contest down one at a time. Rather than offering up my personal picks on who all will/could/should win each of these particular showdowns, I’ve made it something of a tradition to analyze both the strengths and weaknesses of each individual match. That way, we can target and dissect any criticisms that fans might have been murmuring about prior to the match, plus we can highlight the potential for good stuff that (believe it or not) resides deep in the heart of every single match, angle and performer currently slated to appear on this year’s WrestleMania card. Yup, even the lumberjacks and JBL.

Don’t believe Mee?

Well then sit back, relax and read on, as The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks takes a regularly-scheduled break from our regularly-scheduled program (whew!) in order to highlight all of the potential for some seriously positive stuff in each of the matches currently scheduled for WRESTLEMANIA 25.

Let’s rock & roll!

The Miz and John Morrison vs. Carlito and Primo
Lumberjack Match for the Unified Tag Team Championship

The Good News: The Colons and MNM 2.o have been on fire over the past two months, blending solid in-ring action with a simple and believable out-of-ring storyline that really has allowed this feud to click on just about every level imaginable. What’s more, the notoriously unmotivated Carlito has actually managed to step up his in-ring game, of late. And ECW’s John Morrison — who might have otherwise gotten lost as an also-ran in the Money in the Bank shuffle — is clearly being groomed for a breakout run as a single’s star with some serious staying power in the future, which is pretty much the purpose of just about every quality undercard program when it comes right down to it.

The Bad News: Two major arguments seem to sum up the gripes going into this one. First, critics have argued that the unification of the World Tag Team Championships and the WWE Tag Team Championships will underscore the long-rumored conclusion that the era of tag team wrestling is pretty much dead as a draw in the modern landscape of professional wrestling. Second? The lumberjack stipulation is really just a cheap attempt to give everyone on the WWE roster a quick payday, and it could end up hampering the overall quality of the match as a result.

MeeThinks?: Screw the haters. When teams like The Bashams, Deuce ‘n Domino, and Those Guys Who Hang Out with Edge have been the torchbearers of WWE tag team wrestling over the past five years’ time? A set of unified tag straps is long overdue. The brand extension has already been watered down to the point where tag team champions can appear on any (or all) of WWE’s three shows on any given week, and so there is really no reason to have two separate sets of gold kicking around when it’s pretty clear that the only other team in credible contention for your belts also just so happens to be the “other” tag team champions on a WWE roster at any given time.

Now in regards to the lumberjacks…

I suppose it’s only fair to note that I really do get it that people are sore about the notion that “everybody gets a payday” at WrestleMania by appearing in a dark match battle royal or a ringside enforcer’s role. For a show that’s supposed to be “The Showcase of the Immortals,” it kinda cheapens the event just a bit when what you’re really doing is just trotting out a bunch of filler and showcasing *everyone* who just so happens to be on the current WWE roster.

That said —

The lumberjack stipulation pretty much guarantees fans that we’ll be walking out of the night with an undisputed set of unified tag team champions, and the promise of a clean finish in a match that could have just as easily “chickened out” and kept the belts from being unified would, in fact, be even more disappointing than seeing a ringside WrestleMania cameo from Festus and the like. In my estimation? This is the lesser of two evils. And if it means that we’ll be seeing an honest-to-goodness set of UNIFIED champions when all’s said and done? Then as long as the lumberjacks stay outside of the ring, I am all for it.

John “Bradshaw” Layfield (c) vs. Rey Mysterio
Intercontinental Championship Match

The Good News: This match marks the WrestleMania return for Rey Mysterio, who has missed the event twice due to injury in the past two years. In addition, this match also marks the first time that the Intercontinental Championship will be defended in a WrestleMania contest since it was revived in 2003. In a fun little bonus twist, rumors are swirling that this could end up being JBL’s final match as an active competitor before heading into a permanent retirement. Interestingly, the LAST opponent Bradshaw faced before the *last* time he retired? Why, it’s none other than Rey Mysterio.

The Bad News: The self-proclaimed “Wrestling God” was never much of a technical wizard, but at this stage of his career due to age and injuries, Bradshaw is beyond awful in the ring. Coupled with the fact that the ending of this one seems all but telegraphed since Bradshaw ate a pretty clean loss to Mysterio less than one week ago (which pretty much assures us that JBL is due for a WrestleMania win in return), and this has all the makings to be your stinker bout of the night.

MeeThinks?: It’s not going to be pretty. But if nothing else, it could end up making history nonetheless. JBL has promised to do something historic at this year’s WrestleMania, and if the former WWE Champion is serious about making good on his promise, we could be looking at Bradshaw’s very last match in a WWE ring. As he is both a former football player and a twenty-plus year veteran of the wrestling business, my gut tells Mee that Bradshaw will do his very best to “leave it all in the ring” in what may well be his final performance. And for that reason alone, the match is definitely worth fans’ attention.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Participants Include CM Punk, Finlay, Kane, Mark Henry, Christian, Kofi Kingston, Shelton Benjamin, and MVP

The Good News: It’s Money in the Bank, which has always delivered in the excitement and surprise categories. This year, the match recieves an added benefit of veteran presense, as guys like Punk, Shelton, MVP and Christian have had plenty of ladder match experience between them (heck, even Finlay has been in a Money in the Bank match before). And when the least experienced performer in the bout is the fast-paced “Jamaican Sensation” Kofi Kingston? You just know that WWE has assembled a strong crop of superstars to make this match worth watching. Even better? This year’s contest features a full slate of 8 competitors, at least six of who appear to have certifiable shots at actually winning the whole thing and still manage to look like a credible threat to a top championship to boot.

The Bad News: A number of high flying performers seem to be quite glaring in their omission from this match. From the standpoint of the pure size of the bout’s competitors alone, this match is definitely the “BIGGEST” in Money in the Bank history. While the match has a tremendous reputation for its high flying style, performers like Kane, Mark Henry and Finlay really don’t seem to fit the prerequisite bill for a ladder match’s traditional highspots or acrobatics.

MeeThinks?: If you keep guys like Kane and Mark Henry on the ground in order to absorb the high-flying attacks that will likely be thrown their way by opponents like Christian, Punk and Kofi, you’re sitting pretty to hide your big men’s limitations and script a thoroughly entertaining, highspot-filled affair. Frankly, if I’m a guy the size of Kofi Kingston and *I’m* being asked to take a 20-foot tumble from the top of a ladder? You can *bet* that I would much rather have a man the size of Mark Henry or Kane there to catch me than some smaller statured high-flier like John Morrison or THE Brian Kendrick. While risks are indeed a necessary part of the job, it’s a much safer environment to have a few big men on the floor in order to let the acrobatic specialists have a good, solid crash pad there waiting for them when they inevitably plummet from the sky.

Oh yeah, and as for the outcome —

I for one absolutely love the unpredictability of this year’s Money in the Bank lineup. By way of an impromptu social experiment, I bet you could give a quick scan of the 411 archives (or the staff WrestleMania roundtable, or the message boards, or the comment section below, etc.) and you’ll probably find at least one person making a credible case for just about EVERY single competitor in this match actually having a legitimate chance of winning the whole shebang. Heck, even if a certain performer’s odds are a longshot (Finlay, for example), he’s certainly a heckuvalot more credible to win the thing than past Money in the Bank participants like — say, Bobby Lashley or Carlito.

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy
Extreme Rules Match

The Good News: The Hardy Boys have an insane amount of experience with one another over the last decade plus of wrestling in tag contests, and both men are arguably as close to certifiable “singles” competitors as they have ever been. The rivalry here is as personal as it is well-documented, and both Matt and Jeff will have every reason to bring their respective “A-Game” in order to cement their staying power as a main event competitor in their own right. And if that wasn’t enough? WWE decided to throw caution to the wind and let the Hardys play with a whole bunch of plunder in an Extreme Rules Match, which probably means tables, chairs and at least one thoroughly impressive highspot (say, from a ladder?) galore, which has really been an environment in which both Matt and Jeff have shined in the past.

The Bad News: The last time Matt turned on Jeff, fan reaction was underwhelming, to say the least, and their in-ring encounter was impressively *un*impressive (to put it nicely). Of course, that also had a lot to do with Matt still struggling to find his charisma while Jeff fought a daily battle to keep his “personal demons” at bay… and so perhaps age and experience will have helped the Hardy’s one-on-one feud mature and develop over the past several years. As for these days? The biggest strike against this one could just be the fact that the Money in the Bank match will also be featuring a whole bunch of high-flying ladder antics, which means that Matt and Jeff might not have one of their biggest weapons at their disposal once the bell rings for their Extreme Rules showdown.

MeeThinks?: Matt and Jeff don’t need a ladder in order to make fans care about this match. Would it hurt? Of course not. But do they *need* it at this stage of their feud? Absolutely not, and that is a true testament to just how far each of these men’s careers have come as individuals. Matt has played the role of his younger brother’s sadistic antagonist to an absolute level of perfection, while Jeff has channeled his rage and disappointment into a compelling and believable hero that fans are dying to see get his long-overdue revenge.

As far as the match itself…

Expect plenty of brutality as the Hardys stand posed to kickstart a blood feud for the ages. High spots and high speed could play a huge factor in making this a sleeper match of the night, and fans will be hanging on the brothers’ every move. Forget ladders — Jeff could just as easily fly off of the ringpost and onto the announcer’s table, and fans would still feel satisfied with their “WrestleMania Moment.”

In the immortal words of T.O. — “getcha’ popcorn ready.”

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
Elimination Match

The Good News: Chris Jericho is arguably the single hottest heel in WWE today (perhaps with the exception of Randy Orton), and the guy has pretty much been able to remain as popular as ever REGARDLESS of when, how, and to whom he racks up losses in a given year. In addition, Jericho has delivered some of his very best heel work to date in his ongoing quest against the legends, which was brilliantly capped off two weeks ago on RAW when he absolutely decimated “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Bonus good news? At least we won’t be seeing a one-on-one WrestleMania match between Chris Jericho and Jerry “The King” Lawler — because Monday’s encounter was just awful.

The Bad News: Fans had really gotten their hopes up for this one, which has lead to a pretty nasty cloud of disappointment haunting much of this program for the better part of the last month’s time. From the possibility of a WrestleMania match from Mickey Rourke himself, to the speculation ranging from Ric Flair to Hulk Hogan, and even to “Stone Cold” Steve Austin himself, audiences are currently reaping what they’d sewn after four months of fantasy-booking themselves a certifiable WrestleMania dream match that has quickly changed into a virtual nightmare. Even more troubling? The current cast of Jericho’s WrestleMania opponents are not only OLDER and even more limited in the ring than each of the aforementioned superstars, they’re also nowhere near the same celebrity status.

MeeThinks?: This match most definitely has a number of things working against it, not the least of which was the fact that Mickey Rourke kind of let the cat out of the bag a wee bit too early, which pretty much ruined both his chances at an Academy Award *and* his chances at a WrestleMania match. That said, WWE has been given a big bunch of lemons with this one, and they are frantically doing whatever they can to make a WrestleMania batch of lemonade before it’s too late. And while the build has been brilliant, the payoff could well leave a bitter taste in the mouths of their fans.

The saving grace?

The elimination format pretty much guarantees us that we’ll at least have some built-in-drama of the babyface legends having to work together in order to fight the odds one last time. And if anybody can make this match watchable, it’s Chris Jericho. I’ll be the first to admit that the guy certainly has his work cut out for him, of course. But this is Jericho’s best chance to prove that his whole “Save_Us” return campaign was anything more than a public relations ploy.

25 Diva Battle Royal
Winner Will Be Crowned The First Ever “Miss WrestleMania

The Good News: Well it’s certainly no worse than BunnyMania, that’s for sure. But in all seriousness — as is often the case with women’s matches on the WrestleMania card, this bout will give fans a chance to cool their jets and recharge their batteries between two higher profile and more physically intense main event contests. In addition, the match will likely be home to at least a handful of “WrestleMania Moments” and surprise cameos by female performers from the past. And even if they’re only in there for a brief “Where Are They Now?” showcase, it’s pretty hard to complain when audiences are treated to *more* ladies than less.

The Bad News: The 25-woman format has pretty much destroyed the potential that any of WWE’s female performers might otherwise have had at competing in a real and worthwhile match on the WrestleMania stage. Strike two? This match is almost guaranteed to see some sort of appearance from Santino Marella, and many critics contend that his character could end up irreparably damaged should he somehow manage to claim the MISS WrestleMania title.

MeeThinks?: For those whining about Santino’s possible inclusion (and victory) in this match, kindly get over yourselves. The guy is probably the single best comedy act to come across a WWE screen in the better part of a decade. And if he somehow manages to pull off a victory where he lays claim to a bogus title (read: no belt) at a bogus anniversary match (25th Annual =/= 25th Anniversary) in a “sport” that’s already scripted to begin with? SO WHAT. The guy will probably end up getting more mileage out of the “Miss WrestleMania” title than just about any other performer on a WWE roster, past or present.

For the past performers, awarding them the “Miss WrestleMania” title either forces you to rehire them on a full-time basis, or it forces you to forget about it altogether once they make their way back out of the WWE Ranks. And for the present performers? WWE already has two active titles that are regularly at stake for their female talent, and the hnorary title of “Miss WrestleMania” would probably only be used as a quick-fix springboard to vault the latest number one contender into a chase for the belt. Wanna’ guess what happens to their “Miss WrestleMania” nickname after that?

Shawn Michaels is called “Mr. WrestleMania” because he’s consistently delivered and stolen the show on The Grandest Stage of Them All. “Miss WrestleMania” is merely a nickname that WWE will be handing out to the winner of a thinly veiled excuse to sneak some older performers onto a bogus 25th Anniversary Show. If this suddenly-all-important “award” goes to a comedy act, it’s hardly the end of the world.

Edge (c) vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena
Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

The Good News: Edge and Cena have faced one another dozens of times, and they have developed a great chemistry along the way. Edge is the hottest heel on Smackdown!, while Cena remains the company’s number one babyface by a wide margin. What’s more? All storylines make perfect sense that The Big Show would be added to this match, and his late-breaking inclusion helps give this bout a fresh and chaotic twist, which could really help liven things up for a feud that might otherwise seem dated. And even if WrestleMania triple threat matches haven’t always been five-star mat classics, you’d be hard-pressed to argue that they’re not (at the very least) entertaining and unpredictable.

The Bad News: Red flag number one? Too much soap opera, which could mean a slew of ringside antics from Vickie Guerrero and company. Reg flag number two? The Big Show is pretty limited in terms of what all he can do in a wrestling ring outside of just looking big and nasty. That might be enough to sell a match against Floyd Mayweather, but it’s going to take a lot more if he’s expected to hang with the fast-paced give-and-take style of Edge and Cena. And red flag number three? WWE’s standard “triple threat formula” is pretty paint-by-numbers, and typically consists of two guys knocking the third man out of the ring and then brawling one on one. Rinse, repeat, and fifteen minutes later you’re looking at a flurry of finishing maneuvers and the go-home sequence. How fans are supposed to get excited for a Big Show slugfest in a WrestleMania title match might just be a bit of a trick.

MeeThinks?: This might just be one of those rare instances where a few negative traits could actually end up cancelling one another out, resulting in a better match overall by the time everything is said and done. While the prospect of a WrestleMania ringside soap-opera is hardly something to write home about, the occassional interference and/or support of Vickie Guerrero at ringside could really help distract from the otherwise predictable “two guys in the ring while the third guy is stuck outside” formula. This way, two guys can slug it out in the ring while the third man gets tossed to the outside. And rather than being forced to play dead outside of the ropes? Show, Edge AND Cena can now use Vickie Guerrero’s ringside presence to compound the drama of the match that’s unfolding within the confines of the squared circle.

If this is done right?

The bout won’t ever amount to a technical masterpiece, but fans will still have a very good reason to care about the ringside drama just as much as the in-ring developments. Suddenly, Vickie’s role switches from sideshow to substantial, as each man’s desire to win her attention should play a crucial result in how this match turns out in the end.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Grudge Match

The Good News: The build to this program has been nothing short of pitch-perfect, with Shawn playing the cocky (but accomplished) antagonist while The Undertaker was always chasing him just a mere step behind. These two haven’t gone at it in singles’ competition in over a decade, and fans are really looking forward to seeing them lock horns. Shawn and ‘Taker have both had long and storied careers, and each man is actally even more capable in the ring in 2009 than the last time these two legends butted heads in a one-on-one contest. In short? Expectations are high.

The Bad News: The biggest challenge with this match might just be a question of whether or not it could possibly live up to the hype. The good news, however, is that professional wrestling is scripted, which means the bout will be given plenty of time to tell whatever story these two incredibly talented ring veterans (and the booking committee behind the scenes) have in mind for the big payoff.

MeeThinks?: At this stage in their respective careers, Shawn and Taker are two of the very best in the business, and so there’s little reason to believe that either man will deliver a dud on The Grandest Stage of Them All (it’s not WrestleMania IX anymore, Toto). The big question, of course, is whether or not HBK can manage to convince audiences that he *actually stands a chance of winning* once he steps inside the ropes opposite The Dead Man in a WrestleMania ring. Critics would argue that there’s already two strikes against this happening: Not only is The Undertaker unbeaten at WrestleMania, but all of the booking up to this point has pretty much assured us that Michaels is due for a serious comeuppance. But then again, I’m sure we all remember just how dramatic Shawn Michaels’ *last* WrestleMania match with a “foregone conclusion” ended up.

In short?

This one should be tremendous.

Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton
WWE Championship Match

The Good News: The build has been brilliant, the hype has been insane, and this feud simply could not get more heated or personal if it tried. From the moment he punted Vince McMahon in the skull, Randy Orton has been catapulted to a stratusphere of uberheeldom where few in wrestling history have ever managed to tread. Though many fans have criticized both his tactics and his off-and-on chickenshit attitude, it’s hard to deny the man’s success, as his run at the top of the red brand as RAW’s out-and-out bastard of an old school heel (beating up the defenseless, cheating to gain an advantage, and running from a fair fight) has been nothing short of textbook. Meanwhile, Triple H actually finds himself opposite a WrestleMania opponent against whom he has a legitimate and longstanding personal grudge. No soap operas, no race-baiting, no triple-threat distractions — just an honest and intense personal warzone, which has always been an environment where The Game is at his best (i.e. – Foley, Michaels, Batista).

The Bad News: The McMahon family drama, while integral to the storyline, could — if unchecked — spill over into the in-ring action and really end up spoiling the outcome of this match by the time the final bell has sounded. Triple H looks to defend the McMahon family honor as Shane, Steph and Vince have each been victimized by The Legend Killer in recent months. But then again, each of those same blood-related members of the McMahon family (not to mention a certain son-in-law) have shown a nasty penchant for camera hogging and storyline derailing in the past.

MeeThinks?: From an honest-to goodness singles clash for a major title at WrestleMania, this match is probably the single most storied and anticipated bout we’ve seen headline a WrestleMania card in years. Michaels versus Cena? A war for respect, but hardly a war for the ages. Cena versus Triple H? A RockyIV redux, bloated with barbarians and gangsters. Edge versus The Undertaker? One hell of a match, but one pretty obvious outcome in the end.

This year, however –

Triple H is on a personal mission of revenge, while Randy Orton looks to silence his critics and cement his Legacy (har har) by defeating the one man who is both responsible for his greatest success and his greatest opposition. Triple H and Randy Orton have a longstanding history with one another, and both men most certainly deserve final match honors for this year’s big show thanks to the incredible build that we’ve seen transpire between them over the past several months alone. If WWE can show the good sense to steer clear of too much McMahon family drama, this match has all the makings of a modern-day classic.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

That’ll do it for Mee this week. Thanks again for reading, and enjoy The Grandaddy of Them All this Sunday night as WrestleMania 25 comes at us LIVE from the great state of Texas. I’ll be back in seven with all of the fallout from the big dance, so check back often (bookmark this site!), and always stay positive!

– Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : 1-800-799-SAFE.

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