The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks 04.10.09

Welcome back, folks — and thanks for tuning in once again for the first Friday FreeThinks following the 25th annual WrestleMania pay-per-view. Last week, I thought it’d be both topical and timely to take a brief departure from our regularly scheduled format in order to tackle each of the matches on the WrestleMania card on a one-by-one basis. Now, some seven days later, with ‘Mania-related fallout, news and rumors burning up the interwebs the world over, MeeThinks it’s probably a smart idea to use this week’s column as a wrap up of each of the matches on the card in a similar one-at-a-time basis. That way, rather than getting caught up in the usual trends of marking out like an uberfanboy or slagging on the ENTIRE show in one fell swoop, we can size up the highs and lows of EACH of the bouts on the card one at a time… which should leave us with a much better picture of just how good (or “bad”) the show actually ended up when all was said and done.

So let’s rock & roll!

The Miz and John Morrison vs. Carlito and Primo
Lumberjack Match for the Unified Tag Team Championship

Going Into It, We Said: The lumberjack stipulation pretty much guarantees fans that we’ll be walking out of the night with an undisputed set of unified tag team champions, and the promise of a clean finish in a match that could have just as easily “chickened out” and kept the belts from being unified would, in fact, be even more disappointing than seeing a ringside WrestleMania cameo from Festus and the like. In my estimation? This is the lesser of two evils. And if it means that we’ll be seeing an honest-to-goodness set of UNIFIED champions when all’s said and done? Then as long as the lumberjacks stay outside of the ring, I am all for it.

Afterwards, Critics Said: The fact that this match was omitted from the televised portion of the WrestleMania card was both unacceptable and a sad confirmation of just how little tag team wrestling means to the modern landscape of World Wrestling Entertainment. The lumberjack stipulation was bogus to begin with, but once WWE announced that the match would be contested under these rules, it’s still pretty lame of them to drop it from the televised portion of the card entirely.

MeeThinks?: The criticism here is probably the most valid beef I’ve seen directed at the show this year. However, I must say that I do find it pretty ironic (and kind of funny) that a good chunk of those fans complaining AFTER the fact that this match didn’t make the televised portion of the WrestleMania card were actually many of the very same fans who were complaining BEFORE the fact that the lumberjacks were merely an excuse to give everybody on the WWE roster a WrestleMania payday in the first place. In other words, these critics were steamed that WWE would *dare* to throw a bunch of enhancement talent anywhere *near* the actual televised portion of the WrestleMania card, yet they were quick to turn right back around and complain that these very same no-name ringside jobbers were left off the card when all was said and done.

That said, of course —

The fact that this match didn’t actually make it to the televised portion of the WrestleMania card was, admittedly, a serious letdown. What was all the more frustrating here is that many fans (like yours truly) tuned in for the pre-show WELL before the seven o’clock hour, and yet we *still* didn’t get the opportunity to see this bout in spite of the fact that we were watching “live” WWE countdown programming at the exact same time as the match was airing.

On the bright side, however —

The lumberjacks were kept outside of the ring AND the match ended cleanly with an undisputed set of tag team champions, and so the outcome of the bout was pretty much all fans could have asked to see. Now if only we’d, you know, SEEN it.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Participants Include CM Punk, Finlay, Kane, Mark Henry, Christian, Kofi Kingston, Shelton Benjamin, and MVP

Going Into It, We Said: I for one absolutely love the unpredictability of this year’s Money in the Bank lineup. By way of an impromptu social experiment, I bet you could give a quick scan of the 411 archives (or the staff WrestleMania roundtable, or the message boards, or the comment section below, etc.) and you’ll probably find at least one person making a credible case for just about EVERY single competitor in this match actually having a legitimate chance of winning the whole shebang. Heck, even if a certain performer’s odds are a longshot (Finlay, for example), he’s certainly a heckuvalot more credible to win the thing than past Money in the Bank participants like — say, Bobby Lashley or Carlito.

Afterwards, Critics Said: The match was “okay,” but it wasn’t anything compared to previous MitB matches (disagree there, this year’s outing was easily superior to the WM 23 ladder match), and the wrong guy went over in the end (but then again, *every* year somebody complains that “their” guy got robbed).

MeeThinks?: If you didn’t enjoy this year’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match, then you might just want to stop reading this column right now. Were their flubs? Sure, and there’s probably something to be said for a match that’s pretty much becoming just as famous for its botched spots as for its highspots. However, there were a TON of things about this match that were really enjoyable. Here’s just a few of my personal favorites:

CM Punk came out first, which was a nice symmetry with last year’s event since he “came out last” (by emerging the winner).

Punk ducked under the ladders on his way into the ring, which was a great little nod to his “luck is for losers” mantra, and a clever way to foreshadow just how confident (cocky?) the guy was about his odds.

Kane and Mark Henry dominated the hell out of the early part of the match, which was exactly the way things should have gone when you consider just how freakin’ BIG both of these men are.

Finlay did a tremendous job of playing the ring general throughout the contest. Even though he probably stood the *least* chance of winning the match, he sold like a champion and looked like a legitimate contender throughout the contest.

MIDGET TOSSING!

Shelton’s suicide dive was absolutely amazing. But for my money, this year’s MVP was…

Kofi Kingston, who took to the ladder match format like a fish to water. His innovative offense was probably the most impressive of the bunch.

Christian received a TREMENDOUS response, and seems to be a clear-cut fan favorite even if the backstage brass isn’t in the tank for his cause.

The surprise ending with CM Punk pulling off the big win was a great way to keep fans guessing. And after last year’s flukey title run, Punk scores major credibility points for picking up back-to-back Money in the Bank title shot opportunities.Whether he cashes it in successfully or not, Punk has pretty much cemented himself as a serious “wildcard” threat to the title picture at a moment’s notice.

25 Diva Battle Royal
Winner Will Be Crowned The First Ever “Miss WrestleMania

Going Into It, We Said: For those whining about Santino’s possible inclusion (and victory) in this match, kindly get over yourselves. The guy is probably the single best comedy act to come across a WWE screen in the better part of a decade. And if he somehow manages to pull off a victory where he lays claim to a bogus title (read: no belt) at a bogus anniversary match (25th Annual =/= 25th Anniversary) in a “sport” that’s already scripted to begin with? SO WHAT. The guy will probably end up getting more mileage out of the “Miss WrestleMania” title than just about any other performer on a WWE roster, past or present.

Afterwards, Critics Said: Predictably, there’s been a lot of flack directed at WWE’s decision to have Santino come out the victor. In addition, many have griped that the participants in the match weren’t given proper ring introductions and the like, which pretty much rendered their “guest appearance” roles at WrestleMania 25 forgettable, at best.

MeeThinks?: Rather than squandering the “Miss WrestleMania” honors on a diva from yesteryear who’d have been just as soon forgotten as they won the award, WWE wisely kept the spotlight on their regular performers. While I would have appreciated some individual entrance themes for each of the ladies involved, the bottom line was that this we all knew that this match was pretty much set up merely as a showcase for the Santino storyline. And in that regard, it has most definitely served its purpose and more. Since winning, Santin”a” has drawn TREMENDOUS crowd reaction, and he is quickly becoming the single hottest comedy act in the modern era of professional wrestling. Let the “real” divas fight over WWE’s two existing women’s championship titles — the newly crowned “Miss WrestleMania” is a fantastic way to keep RAW’s best comedy act in a meaningful storyline. The guy is over like rover, and this latest angle has only served to win him even MORE fan support than before.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat, Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka, and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
Elimination Match

Going Into It, We Said: The elimination format pretty much guarantees us that we’ll at least have some built-in-drama of the babyface legends having to work together in order to fight the odds one last time. And if anybody can make this match watchable, it’s Chris Jericho. I’ll be the first to admit that the guy certainly has his work cut out for him, of course. But this is Jericho’s best chance to prove that his whole “Save_Us” return campaign was anything more than a public relations ploy.

Afterwards, Critics Said: The match actually managed to exceed expectations, thanks in no small part to Ricky The Dragon Steamboat. However, a lot of critics were put off by the fact that Mickey Rourke was featured in the post-match shenanigans.

MeeThinks?: Mickey Rourke had every reason to end up in this contest. Even though he bailed on the actual “match” part of the show, his name was featured prominently throughout the storyline, and the fact that he showed up at ringside lent both the “legends” team and the angle itself some much-needed celebrity credibility. Rourke said he would be in the Hall of Famers’ corner, and he was. The right guy went over when the bell rang, but fans were still treated to a WrestleMania moment where the old guard scored a measure of revenge by putting Jericho in his place.

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy
Extreme Rules Match

Going Into It, We Said: Matt has played the role of his younger brother’s sadistic antagonist to an absolute level of perfection, while Jeff has channeled his rage and disappointment into a compelling and believable hero that fans are dying to see get his long-overdue revenge. As far as the match itself? Expect plenty of brutality as the Hardys stand posed to kickstart a blood feud for the ages. High spots and high speed could play a huge factor in making this a sleeper match of the night, and fans will be hanging on the brothers’ every move.

Afterwards, Critics Said: In a welcome break from the typical know-it-all-net-negativity, this match was actually among the most critically praised of the night.

MeeThinks?: Great match, great spots, and a great finish. The right Hardy brother went over (meaning that the feud will continue), and fans were treated to a fast-paced, spot-filled bout of brutality. Both Hardys gave it their all, and the psychology throughout the match was genius and it played beautifully into the finish (“Jeff the risktaker versus his jealous and opportunistic brother”). Bonus points for the sick finishing sequence involving the Twist of Fate through the steel chair, and kudos to both men for delivering what was easily the best WrestleMania battle of the brothers since Owen versus Bret (sorry, Kane and Taker, parts I and II).

John “Bradshaw” Layfield (c) vs. Rey Mysterio
Intercontinental Championship Match

Going Into It, We Said: It’s not going to be pretty. But if nothing else, it could end up making history nonetheless. JBL has promised to do something historic at this year’s WrestleMania, and if the former WWE Champion is serious about making good on his promise, we could be looking at Bradshaw’s very last match in a WWE ring. As he is both a former football player and a twenty-plus year veteran of the wrestling business, my gut tells Mee that Bradshaw will do his very best to “leave it all in the ring” in what may well be his final performance. And for that reason alone, the match is definitely worth fans’ attention.

Afterwards, Critics Said: The match was criminally short, and it was an insult to the Intercontinental Championship to have it “defended” in such a brief and forgettable encounter.

MeeThinks?: It seems that just about every year, WrestleMania throws in one match that ends up being kept super-duper-short in order to lend the show an “anything can happen” atmosphere. WrestleMania is always full of surprises, and this is the kind of “mark out moment” that the next generation of fans will be raving about for years to come (remember Special Delivery Jones? There ya’ go).

Now was JBL/Mysterio a bout for the ages? Hardly. But it was most definitely historic, and mercifully, it kept Bradshaw’s in-ring time to near zero. Let’s be honest here, folks — the guy just isn’t capable of taking part in a match anymore. And if he was planning on walking away from the business altogether? There’s something to be said for rewarding your fans with a shocking and unexpected title switch, while at the same time rewarding a 13-year veteran employee of your company with a WrestleMania swansong. And besides, fans really needed a brief intermission before the epic showdown that was about to follow.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Grudge Match

Going Into It, We Said: At this stage in their respective careers, Shawn and Taker are two of the very best in the business, and so there’s little reason to believe that either man will deliver a dud on The Grandest Stage of Them All (it’s not WrestleMania IX anymore, Toto). The big question, of course, is whether or not HBK can manage to convince audiences that he *actually stands a chance of winning* once he steps inside the ropes opposite The Dead Man in a WrestleMania ring. Critics would argue that there’s already two strikes against this happening: Not only is The Undertaker unbeaten at WrestleMania, but all of the booking up to this point has pretty much assured us that Michaels is due for a serious comeuppance. But then again, I’m sure we all remember just how dramatic Shawn Michaels’ *last* WrestleMania match with a “foregone conclusion” ended up.

Afterwards, Critics Said: The main criticisms surrounding this match have pretty much amounted to a snow(flake) fight. Some have called it an instant classic and scored this match as high as *****, while others have slagged on it as little more than a string of trademark maneuvers linked together with a whole bunch of two old dudes just lying around.

MeeThinks?: If you didn’t like this match, then I just don’t know what to tell you. If you *really* couldn’t suspend your disbelief to the point where you actually bit on each of the nearfalls, then you might just want to stop purchasing WWE pay per view events in the future, as they really just don’t get much better than Taker versus HBK. There were plenty of slow moments, true, but they were slow *for a reason* as the match took its time in building to a crowd-frenzied cresendo. And once the foundation had been laid, the spots that were hot were MOLTEN, and the fans were hanging on every moment. The near falls, the high spots (holy crap, the plunge onto the camera man!), the close-calls (that was easily as realistic a countout near-fall as you’re likely to see on pay per view)… the match had it all. HBK and Taker brought their best, and for my money (and hey, I paid for the show, so it *was* my money, come to think of it)? So who cares whether this match was four stars or five — it was easily the most impressive victory in the entire history of The Undertaker’s unbeaten streak at WrestleMania.

Yup, even better than Taker versus Edge.

Edge (c) vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena
Triple Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship

Going Into It, We Said: The bout won’t ever amount to a technical masterpiece, but fans will still have a very good reason to care about the ringside drama just as much as the in-ring developments. Suddenly, Vickie’s role switches from sideshow to substantial, as each man’s desire to win her attention should play a crucial result in how this match turns out in the end.

Afterwards, Critics Said: There was the obligatory Cena-bashing, which is to be expected. But overall? This one got off light by comparison — though that might just have more to do with the fact that the show-ending main event received the majority of the critics’ vitriol.

MeeThinks?: This match was a hoot. It was smartly paced and well designed so that even the biggest Cena haters would have a hard time talking smack on the guy’s efforts by the time they made it down the finishing sequence (hate all you want, but that double-FU was crazy). And from my perspective? It actually topped last year’s championship triple threat, AND (in a welcome surprise) it managed to deliver a *clean* finish. Show’s injection in the bout livened things up considerably, and Vickie’s ringside soap opera was kept to a merciful minimum as these three superstars were given the chance to settle their score like champions inside the squared circle.

Triple H (c) vs. Randy Orton
WWE Championship Match

Going Into It, We Said: Triple H is on a personal mission of revenge, while Randy Orton looks to silence his critics and cement his Legacy (har har) by defeating the one man who is both responsible for his greatest success and his greatest opposition. Triple H and Randy Orton have a longstanding history with one another, and both men most certainly deserve final match honors for this year’s big show thanks to the incredible build that we’ve seen transpire between them over the past several months alone.

Afterwards, Critics Said: This match was underwhelming, to say the least. The backstage rumor even went as far to say that WWE execs and performers admitted that the match “came off badly.”

MeeThinks?: WrestleMania ends the booking year, while the following night’s RAW begins it. And if nothing else, it was good to see Batista’s inclusion in the Orton/HHH feud held off until the “new calendar year” rather than muddying the final act of the old one. I’m not going to lie, this match was a disappointment. But the Backlash main event has “swerve” written all over it — and so if you’re trying to give WWE’s writers any benefit of the doubt on this one, we can probably award them at least a few freebie points for letting the match have a clean finish *without* throwing Batista right back into the mix to rob fans of a decisive pinfall victory one way or the other in the final match of the evening.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

Thanks for tuning in again this week, folks, and my apologies for the relative brevity of this week’s column (that’s what happens when you’re driving for the better part of a day to spend a holiday some five states away). Better luck and a better effort next week, I promise. In the meantime, have a great holiday and a great weekend, and always stay positive.

– Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : [phone]-SAFE.