Truth B Told 4.30.09: Mix and Match

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 04.30.2009

Tag, you’re it…and so are you, no you….no….you the guy over there standing around doing nothing. The successes and failures of the makeshift tag team.

Last week I talked about considering changing my travel plans for going home to Seattle for my Lola's 80th birthday, I said it all depends on how good PWG's DDT4 Tag Team Tournament's roster looked. Let's just say that my plans haven't changed in a matter of 3 weeks I'll probably be out some where in the cold Seattle night drinking my Crown Royal and Red Hook rather than being sandwiched between a bunch of chubby, sweaty, wrasslin' fans trying to Buzz the "Hybrid Dolphins" to victory. Look, I'm not saying that the show won't be good, but when I think of a "Tag Team Tournament", I expect to see some…well, tag teams. Or I think of that DVD I saw at that bachelor party where the winning chick had to be treated for dehydration and thoroughly shampooed…well that was part of the "Making Of" on disc 2. Any how as I was saying, if there is one thing that bothers me about a tag tournament, it's only being filled a little over half way by actual tag teams.

For those who aren't big PWG fans the DDT4 tournament is a tournament consisting of 8 tag teams that are battling either for a shot at the PWG title, or in this and last year's case, the PWG tag titles as the champions put up the belts on every match. this year's participants are: The Dynasty (Lost/Ryan), The Youngbucks, the Cutler Brothers, Los Luchas, the Motor City Machine Guns, and 3 teams made up of singles wrestlers; Chuck Taylor and Kenny Omega, Chris Hero and Roderick Strong, and "The Hybrid Dolphins" Bryan Danielson and Paul London. Of the established tag teams 4 are local teams, the MCMGs are on loan from TNA, and the other 3 teams have never tagged before to my knowledge. Far from the star power of past tournaments where there was talent in singles matches to compliment the tag matches. But you know, I'm one of those few fans who enjoy tag matches as much as I do singles matches because of the dynamics that a tag match brings with 4 very distinct variables that a 1 on 1 match doesn't.

Look I know that wrestling has had a long history of tag teams consisting of two singles wrestlers with little to no history or connection to each other teaming up, but this isn't the '96 Slamboree, this wasn't a "lethal lottery" type situation, which actually wouldn't have been a bad idea, this was a serious problem with finding 8 established teams to put together a full tournament. Unlike the past 2 years where DDT was made up of established teams, this year's tournament just seems a little off. Sure there have been thrown together teams in past tournaments, but that was more out of necessity than anything. Besides, those wrestlers turned into established teams and that just isn't going to happen with any of these guys. While a "makeshift" team can sometimes be successful in terms of gold belts, it doesn't always translate into long term success or believability.

Finding a good fit in tag team wrestling is a lot like finding a good fit in a relationship. You want to find someone that compliments you and at the same time can make up for some of the deficiencies in your own personality and visa versa. Or you just find a really hot chick with a nice ass or big rack and avoid walking near any barber shop windows. If you look back at some of the most successful "makeshift" teams in history you can come up with a good handful who have had at least a measure of short term success: The Rock n' Sock Connection, Two Man Power Trip, Mega Powers, Benoit and Edge, not to mention all of the single title reigns that guys like John Cena, Batista, RVD, and William Regal has had. But for the most part a tag team thrown together by either circumstance, or more likely, plot devices and booking do not last very long and only serve to either further a feud or bury other established tag teams. Just think about how poorly it went for the Spirit Squad after they lost to Piper and Flair, what about how La Resistance kept getting steam rolled by makeshift team after makeshift team? Plus, how many of you remember the "Teacher's Pets"? Now THAT was a great booking decision.

Now this isn't to say that there hasn't been some great teamings that seemed to come out of no where, look at Beer Money as a perfect example of two guys with nothing in common except being both being seasoned tag wrestlers who were floundering in the mid-card on their own. They seemed to have done quite well for themselves. Along that vein AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels were a great tag team that had "history" but they were very established singles wrestlers, luckily their chemistry together worked, actually AJ also did quite well when he tagged with Tomko as well. That's not to say that TNA hasn't had some clunkers in the past, Abyss and Matt Morgan, Rock n' Rave Connection, and pretty much anyone they've tried to match up with Sting or Kevin Nash. I think the real issue here comes from the company's philosophy and emphasis on tag wrestling in general. While it's much easier to establish a team from the ground up and find a common gimmick or thread to make them into a team, Cryme Tyme were street thugs, MNM were Hollywood movers and shakers, Team Canada enjoyed the metric system, LAX are Latino, etc. Then again there are times when you have two guys who are going no where separately and maybe all they need is someone to give them a little boost.

If I recall an episode of Nitro a while back when Lodi and Lenny Lane actually had that moment backstage where they figured they weren't really being booked for anything so they might as well team up. Talk about breaking kayfabe. In the past this sort of thing has led to some very mixed results when you take lower card or mid-card wrestlers who aren't very well established, yet recognizable and team them with someone in the same situation. If you remember one of the most successful tag teams in WWF history started in a similar way between a Rockabilly and a Roadie. London and Kendrick were two cruisers doing nothing on their own till they formed the Hooligans. The APA also had a small measure of success individually before they formed a very popular team during the Attitude Era, the same could be said for Kronik, but…they kind of sucked so you can't. If there was an entity that suckled at the teet of "makeshiftedness" more than any other company it was WCW. I'm still trying to remember what the hell "Fire and Ice" was all about. I'll also let you guys decide where the team of Chuck and Billy lie on your scale of success for yourself. Point being again that success between makeshift teams only works when you have a long term outlook on booking and a commitment to keep the team together. I mean, how were we ever to know that BG James and "Bullet" Bob weren't going to last over the long haul?

To me there are wrestlers who are just better off in tag teams than as singles competitors, look at Hawkins and Ryder, Charlie Haas, Jesse, or Jamie Noble. Guys who might not be able to get that push up past the mid-card on their own, but when paired with a partner that complimented their style of contrasted enough it worked. The whole of the team was more than the sum of the parts. As individual wrestlers the "World's Greatest Tag Team" have only had varying levels of success (admit it, Shelton is a perennial underachiever) but as a team they had a strong purpose. But when you have a makeshift team with two established careers team up they seem to be only as strong as their weakest link. They are as limited as the worst wrestler on the team. What's more, it's almost telegraphing the eventual turn. When I watch a team, I don't want to have to predict on a weekly basis when the break up is going to happen, I just want to enjoy the action. If I wanted to spend week after week anticipating a break up I'd start introducing my wrestling friends to single women I know and tell them to take them to a show on their 1 month anniversary…in their unwashed RoH sweat shirt. Or at least start the foreplay in the bedroom by picking out their own "Entrance Music". I'm thinking "Ass Man", myself.

The Truth

Yeah, I know I'm being harsh on PWG, and they're probably doing their best to give the fans what they think they want, but it doesn't solve the real issue here. Because they are having issues with finding good venues the usual two day tournament has been squeezed into one day and now the singles wrestlers who would be booked to wrestler between the rounds of the tourney are now IN the tourney. Would I rather have seen Danielson vs London? Sure. Would I rather have seen Omega tag with Ibushi against Chuck Taylor and one of his F.I.S.T.-mates? You bet ya, I guess I just have to come to grips with the fact that tag team wrestling is just the step child of the wrestling family. When you consider that around the industry we might have some of the weakest or inexperienced tag teams around holding belts throughout the business you just have to realize that the art of creating and keeping a good team together has been largely forgotten. Perhaps the popularity of the "Makeshifts" will be the rule and not the exception. Then again, I always believed that the whole is more than the sum of the parts when it comes to a good tag team, not the whole is equal to the sum of the first wrestler to turn on the other one. That just doesn't roll off the tongue as well.

Coming Up Short

I liked what RAW did on Monday night be introducing a handful of the new draftees to the audience, they also held Triple H off the show in order to show the seriousness of his injury, and they even managed to make Cena sell his injury…for an hour. Yikes, well I don't know if that really serves to give The Miz a rub, but something tells me he's just a warm up for Cena before his real feud with Big Show. If there is anything that kills the effectiveness of a beatdown more than no-selling that beat down the next night, I don't know what it is. I just felt like even if Cena wasn't physically well enough to get involved in the match, he really made the big finish to his title match come up short by not at least staying home for a week. This is the kind of stuff that gives "Super Cena" a bad name and all of that backlash. No pun intended…okay, maybe a little intended.

6 Degrees of…



Jerry-atric Lynn is having a hell of a year after becoming the oldest RoH Champion in history and the oldest "Champion" of any current major company, Indy or Televised. Well there is another mid-lifer who has been having quite a year himself, beginning with being named this year's "Sexiest Man Alive" by People magazine…no I'm not talking about Snitsky, I'm talking about "Wolverine" himself…



Hugh Jackman. I'm going to ignore my nerdy leanings to boycott this movie since it is totally mixing up several arcs and storylines from the wrong timelines, and I'll end up watching the movie after all. Hopefully one of you comic nerds will drop me a line and let me know how it was after you stand in line tonight to watch it at midnight…..nerds.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers…er…commentors?

O snap son! I just started fuckin with 411 again after a long hiatus and I thought my man Bayani had left forever. Welcome back man-it's ya boy Rusty Fuckin Nailz! U better remember me fucker. I see u still have the Asian Bitch Lookin Good shit that I put you on to! Ha ha that's crazy. I guess that's your calling card tho. Anyway, I look forward to reading your stuff again and bein able to laugh. Damn, I feel old. I been reading your shit since 2006? Wow. But yea, the Hogan/OJ joke was fuckin great! Cheers to u bro

Posted By: amusing comments aka RFN

Where have you BEEN Rusty? How could we forget the man who coined the "asian bitches lookin' good" tagline that has helped drag me to the 3 year mark. Hopefully you stick around 411 a bit longer, who knows, maybe I can get lansdell or JP to start posting an "Saudi Bitches lookin' good " section…for a month or so…tops.

Welcome back......I hope this collum isn't a one shot deal....

Posted By: Marco

Don't really know yet, let's call it a 2 shot deal and go from there. So long as I stop drinking on Weds and I should be fine….uh oh…

6 Degrees Results

#1.

Susan Boyle sang on Britains got talent it's american counterpart is Americas got talent...a judge being David Hasslehoff
Who famously publicly pissed himself as did Black Eyed peas singer Fergie.
Fergie is the nickname of Alex Ferguson the Manager of Manchester United.
Manchester United used to include David Beckham who has played football for Inter Milan
Milan was the setting of a shock IC title change involving champion umaga and Santino Marella!

Greg Pryor

Nice to see you back Greg. I'm just surprised you chose Fergie as the other famous public pisser. Seriously, you had at least a dozen to choose from, and that doesn't even include the staff on 411. Especially the games section…but you didn't hear that from me.

Left Overs…

Reid Flair was arrested over the weekend for on a few major charges, driving while impaired and possession of heroine. He was also charged with two minor misdemeanors as well, underaged styling and unlicensed profiling.

Matt Hardy broke his hand in his match with his brother at Backlash and it looks like his big "push" is over. Which of course will now answer the age old question, "what is the sound of one hand jobbing"? Wait a second…heh, that was unintentionally sexy. My…bad?

The E has signed former TNA talent, Lance Rock, aka Lance Hoyt, and soon to be Garrison Hoyt. So far it looks like they will be debuting Lance as his old TNA gimmick around the beginning of the RAW Diva search. Plans are for him to actually replace The Miz as the host and the segments will be renamed "Lance Rock of Love", where the winner will get a RAW contract, $25,000, a weekend with Lance, and a year's supply of Valtrex.

Sim Snuka was yesterday's "Superstar of the Day" on wwe.com, which seems kind of…ironic. "Superstar"….hmm. I wonder if tomorrow's "Superstar" is going to be "Bell Ringer who always gets thrown out of his chair so the heel can bring it into the ring".

The E is becoming more and more desperate to get expand their ‘tween demographic in line with becoming more "family friend". There is even talk of moving Jillian Hall over to Smackdown in order to pair her with Dolph Ziegler and then form a loose association with Melina, Ricky Ortiz, and John Morrison and will be known as the "Wildcats". They're in all this together…and they're breakin' free.

5%er of the week: TNA recently debuted former Trevor Murdoch under the name Jethro Holliday. The plans are to debut his partner Lance Cade in a few weeks under the name Doc Tull.

1% of the week: Rumors of Festus and Hornswoggle teaming up on RAW seem far fetched and a simply monstrous and poorly put together idea. Unless of course they manage to sign Jennifer Beals and Sting…no, not the wrestler…the tantric sex guy.

It's an intriguing idea to let MVP get a rub by working a little program against The Legacy while HHH is laid up and he could step in to aid Shane-O Mac. The contrast in characters are interesting. MVP is "street", Legacy is "royalty", MVP is "Hustlin'", Legacy is "Old Money", MVP is "Hip Hop", and Legacy is "Hip Hop"…until a Black dude rolls by and they turn the channel back to John Mayer or Daughtry. But then as soon as they drive off again…Hip Hop…yeah, boy!!

The Great Booty Debate 2009

Okay, so it's back for a little while…nuff said. Let's get it ON!!

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Nhi Kim Do: She sounds like a sexy martial art

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Arianny Celestre: If she was an eligible scrabble word she would have helped me avoid at least a half dozen losses last year.

I feel bad, I never got to congratulate Gregory Helms on his success in the RAW Diva Search last year. I mean, how else would he have gotten that plush job as an ECW backstage interviewer? Good for him, good for him. Next stop after this is fling with a "Superstar"…which isn't anything new for Helms since I'm pretty sure he knows his way around Matt Hardy's nuts as well as any other former "backstage interviewer"…*wink*

So here's my idea for The Miz, each week he calls out a different superstar he knows isn't going to show up. Last week it was Cena, next week Triple H, then he goes with Sim Snuka, Harley Race, Sting, Baron Von Raschke, Karl Gotch, Max Moon…we're talkin' a Goldberg-like win streak here people.

Pimpin' In High Places

Okay, next week we'll be featuring this section again, I SWEAR I'll actually figure out who all these new guys are by then. Why didn't you guys bother telling me we had a full-time CHIKARA column now? Who does the PWG one? Oh right, that's kinda ME…the dude who never gets comped…bastards.

2nd column down and I'm still getting into the swing of things. Maybe it's time to start taking suggestions from the peanut gallery, so if y'all got any suggestions on future columns just shoot me a comment. The one covering Carmen Electra's Naked Women's Wrestling League is still on my "to do" list. Also if anyone can come up with a good argument for changing my trip and seeing what all the BUZZ is about for DDT4, I'd love to hear it…then ask for you to split the $50 flight change flight.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B