Truth B Told 5.7.09: Taboo Thursday

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 05.07.2009

There are some topics in society that are even too touchy for wrestling to tackle. I’m not sure what they are, but I’m sure there are some.

Last week I thought up a great idea for a column, I was going to talk about all of the taboo subjects in wrestling that no one ever books around or writes stories about. It was brilliant, conceptually. But when I took a few minutes to write down a few topics I came up blank. In fact there were maybe only a few subjects that even came to mind and most of them have already been addressed in some fashion either on TV or the Indy scene. It's amazing to think that wrestling attempts to both take itself so seriously as well as define itself as pure "entertainment" at the same time. "Freedom of Speech" is a right that bookers and "creative" has taken advantage of for many years, yet I'm not sure that our forefathers had the "Katie Vick storyline" in mind when they came up with it way back when. Now the question I'm faced with this week is whether wrestling's policy of "no subject is taboo" is helping the industry or giving it a bad name?

Wrestling is a lot like comedy, there were always those who pushed the limits of decency and appropriate humor. There were the rebels and rule breakers who would more often then not push their acts so far as to get fined, kicked off television, or even arrested all for the sake of trying to stand out and make a name for themselves. First it was Lenny Bruce, then it was George Carlin and Richard Pryor, and then came Eddie Murphy, followed by Andrew "Dice" Clay, they or course begat Dave Chappelle, and now we're left with…Dane Cook. Eventually we got to the point where there were less and less shocking things that could be joked about, those "7 words you can't say on television" dwindled down to the point where you can hear "bitch ass" on "Gossip Girl" now a day. When you get to a point where the "shock jocks" and offensive humor become mundane and even "Jackass" seems tame, you end up with…well…Dane Cook. Who used to be funny until people kept telling him how funny he was and then he decided that everything out of his mouth was funny, regardless of if it was actually a joke or not. Man, if zombies ever roam this earth again in the post apocalyptic future I hope zombie Mitch Hedberg eats his brain first.

The "Attitude Era" and "Monday Night Wars" for me was sort of like when "Married with Children" first came out and there was all this hoopla about how the show was eroding the moral values of the American family. Now a day when I turn on my TV it feels more like "Happily Ever After", a sad attempt to imitate a more successful model. Are you telling me that DX's antics in 2008 were as edgy and irreverent as they were back when HBK still had his original hairline? There are just so many attempts by wrestling companies to "shock you" that sometimes they draw more attention away from the wrestling then it probably intended to in the first place. It's not like any one company is immune to it either, RoH had that simulated rape scene involving Alison Danger and Bobby Dempsey as well as the Age of The Fall debuting by beating down the Briscoe Brothers and having Jimmy Jacobs stand under them while they were hung from the rafters and bleeding onto his white coat. PWG has had a few indiscretions as well considering I've witnessed a few racial slurs being thrown out by wrestlers and then there was the time when Human Tornado made the Benoit "Throat slashing gesture" prior to his beat down of Candice LaRae and attempted Crossface Crippler. I'm also not going to even get into everything CZW has done over the years. This isn't just for TV shows kids.

There have been some topics covered in the past that have ranged from "dicey" to flat out embarrassing. I don't have problems with wrestling writers using events and issues from everyday life in their angles, in fact that's what makes most stories so compelling and intriguing. In fact some of the best storylines in wrestling history have blurred the line between kayfabe and reality, social relevance and obscurity. But when most of these issues are written around they either aren't taken seriously or pervert the perceptions of those topics all together. Statistics show that between 7 to 12% of the population is homosexual. Yet how many characters that have been portrayed as such have either been serious characters rather than comedy acts, have been true faces, or have received any sort of sustainable success? Except of course for Mickie James because of course lesbians are titalating and easy to cheer, where as when HBK tried basically the same move on Cena during their WM 23 match it was largely ignored…which is probably for the best. By the way, are we just forgetting that Mickie was a lesbian for a good half year? We are? Okay, just checking.

Topics like racism have been addressed before, but anyone who dares to play the "race card" is always seen as a heel or a clown. The Nation of Domination were treated like whiny Black militants, Mohammed Hassan started off as a great social commentary but ended up as a terrorist (literally), the lWo in WCW were jokes and weak imitations of the nWo, Kaientai were over dubbed jobbers and stereotypes, and then who can forget the angle between Triple H and Booker T that was tinged (or full on spray painted depending on how you feel) with racist overtones, even saying how "people like him" don't win WWF Championships. Even domestic abuse managed to get in the spot light for a few weeks when the WWF ran the storyline that Chaz (formerly Mosh, formerly Beaver Cleavage, formerly white guy in Lo Down…yeah, which of these aliases do you actually remember?) was beating his former girlfriend, Marianna. That of course turned out to be a trick that Marianna played on Chaz as she was faking the whole time. Well THAT certainly went a long way in bringing awareness to a very real problem. Lord knows that the high class of people that wrestling brings around probably would NEVER be involved in anything like that after a few beers and Mideon matches.

Really there is little that is off the table in terms of wrestling, Brian Pillman almost shot Steve Austin on air, Kelly Kelly was kidnapped and held by Kane, Kurt Angle has threatened both Sting and Jeff Jarrett's family, DDP stalked Sarah Taker for a short period before getting his ass handed to him by her, Eddie Guerrero's low rider was destroyed after Randy Orton told Mysterio that he was burning in hell, and now his widow is making out with Edge and the Big Show. Amazing what wrestling tries to get away with and that isn't even taking into account any of the Mae Young/Mark Henry angles. So is there a line that wrestling refuses to cross? Perhaps there are, but it seems like you never can tell how long until someone steps right on it and takes a good long piss on the other side of it. The last thing that a parent wants to do is explain to their kid what Randy Orton meant when he said Legacy gave Kelly Kelly a Bukakke spa day before Kane found out. "Well...when a mommy and a daddy love each other VERY much and the daddy invites his softball team over to give the mommy a very special lip balm..."

For the moment it seems like drug use is off the table along with any references to Chris Benoit. That has to do as much with Benoit himself as it has to do with the steroid and drug problems that so many wrestlers have been linked to. But then that line too has been pissed on as many of you remember DX's little jab at Chris Masters and his "50 lbs weight loss in 4 weeks" fitness book. For the most part drug use is just a subject that at least mainstream wrestling tries to avoid as much as possible as well as any reference and connection to a certain "Rabid Wolverine". I also thought that perhaps making fun of the disabled and handicapped would be off limits, but I do remember Zach Gowen, who at first was a heart warming story, but on commentary he was laughed at by Jerry lawler and also by his opponents. Even the mentally handicapped were not immune, ranging from George "The Animal" Steele, to Eugene, to Festus, to Abyss, and even Daffney is more "ape shit" crazy than "old skool Victoria" crazy. The one thing that the "e" hasn't tried to do is create a mentally retarded Diva yet. I think that has to do as much with the problems with marketing such a character as it does the ramifications for making a "Sexy Retard" (pardon the phrasing). The WWE sexualizes all of it's women to such a degree that actually having a mentally challenged Diva and eventually pairing her up with a male wrestler might lead some to believe there was a sexual relationship going on and that would literally be perceived as "fucking retarded".

So now that we established that wrestling will "cross the line" whenever they feel like they need a jump in ratings or to kick start a mundane program, does that mean that wrestling "has no shame" or they are merely willing to exercise their "freedom of speech" as freely as possible? Remember that this isn't a matter of wrestling "tackling the tough issues that no one else will", part of the reason storylines can become as out of control as they want to now is because the censors let them and the fans don't seem to care. When Eddie and Rey Rey were fighting over Eddie's bastard son there wasn't a huge backlash from the main stream fan. Lita's miscarriage was basically made a joke of and they went as far as to "punt a baby" on RAW one week. Hell, if it wasn't for probably a dozen writers and the collective will of every McMahon not named Vince, it might have turned out that Stephanie's baby turned out to be the result of incest. I think as fans we let things go a bit because it just reminds us how "fake" wrestling truly is. But is that a good thing? Do we really want to be pulled back and forth across the kayfabe line on a weekly basis?

By now there has been paid so much attention to the PG-13 rating in the WWE that many of these storylines would not take place again. In TNA they've managed to stay away from the truly controversial storylines for the better part of a year and only with Jeff Jarrett's approval have they even tip toed up to that line when mentioning his dead wife. With RoH getting a TV deal it seems like some of their more dark and morbid angles will be toned down and across the board it looks like more companies (CHIKARA and PWG in particular) are turning to comedy rather than drama to bring in fans. I'm still at a crossroads for whether I believe wrestling takes things too far, more times than not I think they do. But that really goes back to whether or not wrestling either takes itself too seriously or whether they expect us to. In the here and now I believe more than ever wrestling is trying to re-establish kayfabe more and more, yet at the same time I see companies starting up on social networking sites and embracing the IWC more, while it seems like the actual workers are shunning it.

Look, I'm by no means saying that wrestling needs to be censored fully, I'm not one for censorship in general, but I think there needs to be some level of taste and conduct that is adhered to. At least to the point where I stop being ashamed of being a wrestling fan. Not that it would solve the problem and allow me to wear my Tito Santana t-shirt on casual Fridays at the office, but it would help. To say that nothing should be censored is ridiculous, you have children in the audience and watching on TV so clearly anything that is considered lewd, bad language, or nudity will be censored out by the broadcast networks, but you have some overtones and storylines that are just tasteless. What I love(d) about wrestling is that "anything can and will happen", but that doesn't mean that just because anything can happen that it should happen. I don't want to be inundated with a bunch of nonsensical storylines just to sensationalize a product that should be built around athletic contests and supplemented with storylines that get you to those matches, not the other way around. All I'm asking for is for companies like TNA and WWE to shock us with their match quality, not their soap opera drama. While part

The Truth

What makes wrestling so entertaining is also what makes it so embarrassing at times. No subject seems taboo in the world of wrestling, writers and bookers are constantly trying to find the next big storyline or angle that will "draw", Indy promoters and wrestlers are constantly looking to make a name for themselves and stick out amongst the crowd. Anything that you see in every day life, or not so every day life will at some point make it's way inside or around a wrestling ring. Now am I saying that wrestling companies should just stick to wrestling and stay away from anything that could be considered "controversial"? No, but there are times when a horrible idea is thrown out in a booking meeting and everyone's eyebrows are raised, when their thumbs surely should not be. While I would never want to change the nature of "throw it against a wall and see what sticks", especially since many of the greatest angles of feuds have pushed the limits and even crossed the line of good sense, let's try to have a bit more of an internal filter here people. I mean, that's why there are booking COMMITTEES, so that at least one person in the room can say, "Um…are we sure about the rubber hand in the 80 year old vajayjay?"

Coming Up Short

I was reading some of the comments criticizing TNA's "Team 3D Invitational Tag Tournament" and how they weren't impressed with the teams. I thought about it and wondered what a tag tournament in the "E" would look like if they wanted to determine a #1 contender for The Colon's titles. It would of course start with "Simply Priceless" DiBiase and Rhodes, then it would include Cryme Tyme who are unfortunately on Smackdown, but who cares about "Brand Extensions" anymore, and then it would include…um…errrr…..uh. Damn. I guess that tournament would come up a bit short…unless they made it a "Best of 7".

6 Degrees of…



Great to win the title on practically my first time back in a while...speaking of winning titles on the first time back...a certain less muscular Hulk Hogan did that in Las Vegas some 16 years ago at Wrestlemania, when the original plan was to only have him tag up with his Man Servant Brutus Beefcake...proof that Hogan still ran the yard and could get anything in the WWF if he wanted...furthermore...another man who could get pretty much whatever you wanted on the yard was Red in the Shawshank Redemption played by Morgan Freeman...who was also a man servant in the movie Driving Miss Daisy...so Man Servant to Man Servant...Brutus Beefcake to Morgan Freeman in 6 moves!

Greg Pryor

You know, I'm willing to believe that even in a fist fight in their primes Freeman could have beaten Beefcake…BEEFCAKE!! Whoops, sorry about that. It's amazing to think of some of the great roles Morgan Freeman has gotten to play since then; President, God, super secret assassin head honcho who probably got to stick it to Angelina Jolie. Not bad…not bad.



Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

I figured the Miz was going to get the Jericho/Goldberg feud, calling out Cena until Cena finally shows and throws down on PPV.

Posted By: Pete (Guest)

Well that could still happen, except for the fact that…it's The Miz. The man is running a great "Smark" imitation right now, but Miz is so limited potential wise that I doubt he'd get that kind of a rub. The only person with a ceiling lower than The Miz was Papa Smurf.

"You bet ya, I guess I just have to come to grips with the fact that tag team wrestling is just the step child of the wrestling family. When you consider that around the industry we might have some of the weakest or inexperienced tag teams around holding belts throughout the business you just have to realize that the art of creating and keeping a good team together has been largely forgotten."

Not entirely true...yeah, the lucha scene seems to filled by a bunch of mostly thrown-together teams as tag champs (with one lone exception in IWRG), a few of the big indys out there have treated their tag titles and divisions generally like shit these last few years, and we all know the 'E's story on that matter.

But we have the "art" (I'd debate defining it as such, but's that's a discussion for another time) going strong in other sectors. TNA has had Beer Money (and now Team 3D) keep a good deal of focus on the belts over the last year, JAPW has always done what they can depsite a somewhat limited roster, CHIKARA puts a great emphasis on teams and stables in general, ROH is seemingly rebulding theirs at a brisk pace since the last AOTF reign (depsite what I may personally tihnk of thier current champs), and puro and joshi are alos keeping the tradition alvie and well (between all the promotions
that get TV time and DVDs out, there have so many tag tourneys since last October--and more to come in the coming months--that it's impossible to keep track of them all).

Unlike you, I actually find MORE value in tag team matches than singles comps, but either way there's good stuff out stuff out there...if PWG fails to float your boat, it's relatively easy these days to find alternatives where the "art" is treated as just that.

Posted By: B.W.G. (Guest)

Some good points B.W.G. but the fact of that matter is that the vast majority of the wrestling fandom out there will always put singles competitors above tag teams only because we are always looking for "The Best"…not "half of the best". TNA has done a good job of keeping some of the focus on their tag division and too bad that Hernandez is on the shelf, but for the most part tag teams are always going to be "2nd Tier". Besides, how many times has anyone ever said, "MAN that guy has charisma and ability, when is he going to finally get his break to be partnered with someone else to share all the limelight with"? I have some hopes for PWG's DDT4 tournament, it's just a shame that they went with the wrestlers they are most comfortable with whether they make sense as a team, rather than try and spend some cash on one of those tag teams from RoH or CHIKARA. Los Ice Creams would have been a huge coup, if PWG had scooped them up.

What would have people said if Reid Flair injured someone while driving high on heroin? I love how Nick and Hulk have been turned into villians (Nick deserved a certain amount of criticism, to be sure) but Ric and Reid don't get anything? Come on!

Posted By: cpbasil

Well people would have said, "Man, that Reid Flair is an ASS HOLE!! Someone lock his ass up". Fortunately he didn't hurt anyone, so he got off easier than Nicky Hogan. I didn't say what Reid did was "okay", the guy deserves a serious butt raping in jail, but you can't say that the possibility of something happening is as bad as it actually happening. Which is why "I'm pretty sure I can pull out in time" is till one of the popular phrases to ever accompany a case of PBR.

6 Degrees Results

You guys make me sad. Not emo sad…Charlie Haas' career sad.

Left Overs…

Necro Butcher is up for an MTV movie award in the "WTF Moment" category. Also nominated in that category is Sojo Bolt's hair and The Miz's push.

Roxxi recently asked for her release while serving a 60 day suspension that she was handed for a backstage incident with Rhaka Khan, also serving a 60 day suspension. Apparently Roxxi didn't appreciate Khan working her so stiff as much as Kurt Angle does. They're real…they're DAMN real…okay, they aren't.

Batista got a little more "Big Fight" experience when he walked out with Manny Pacquiao for his big bout with Ricky Hatton. Apparently Batista's presence was just the shot in the arm that Pac Man needed for the win. Which is different than the shot in the arm Batista usually needs for a win.

I hear Batista and RVD will be shooting a movie together soon. I'm banking on the title being "Dave and Confused". "You know what I like about fuckin' Divas? I get older…they stay the same age. Alright, alright".

WWE signed an advertising deal with Pepsi recently. Meaning that CM Punk may be using his old finishing move the "Pepsi Plunge" soon, especially with HHH on the shelf. Also capitalizing on this marketing strategy, the Great Khali will be changing his finishing move to the "Vis-agra" which will now be known as the "$5 foot long".

Hernandez will be on the shelf for anywhere from 6 to 9 months after neck surgery. The process will involve a few hours of operation, 2 to 4 months of recovery and rehab, and 4 to 5 months to actually locate his neck.

TNA is trying to woo Spencer Pratt into a possible appearance at Slammiversary. They are working with Spike TV and so far the deal will include cash as well as a featured role in Spike TV's "Pros vs Joes". The Joe's will be competing against Spencer in a test of hand strength where they will have to outlast his grip on their wife's coattails.

"Former WWE performer Colin Delaney was backstage at Raw last night, visiting with friends"…the mat and the arena lights.

MVP said his visit to the set of The View was fascinating, he got to see the production room, the dressing rooms, and almost the entire set, except of course for the Right Wing, which was already fully occupied by Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

John Morrison looks to be the beneficiary of the main event talent exodus from Smackdown as it looks like he'll be getting a push as a "face" on Smackdown soon. No word as to whether or not they plan to scrap plans for him to fight another former WWE Superstar as the rightful "Shaman of Sexy".

Kurt Angle is putting up his "Godfathership" on the line at Sacrifice for a shot at the title. However, odds are currently 3 to 1 that Mick Foley takes the hos instead.

The Great Booty Debate 2009

The good thing about taking 6 weeks off? The pool of hootie Asians and Latinas get replenished, as does the ol' "spank bank".

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Jamie Chung: Pacquiao WISHES this was his next opponent

Random Latina Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



Reby Sky: She's now my favorite kind of vodka

Super Smash Bros replace Dark City Fight Club in RoH due to injury to Jon Davis. Which could be considered a step up if you think of a two bit team being replaced by an 8-bit team.

Santino was on to something when he mentioned Vickie's possible ailment. But I think we all really know who started the Swine Flu epidemic.

The PWG-Spot

This is a new semi-regular segment I'm starting that will include all of the latest PWG news for those of you who care, or for those of you who don't care, but like writing smarky comments about Indy wrestlers being a bunch of backyarders and losers who work the Wendy's drive thru when they're not jumping off of bleachers and squeezing their fat asses into tights and dirty wife beaters. But mainly for those who care. Today's news: Complete Brackets are set for DDT4

You can view them HERE, but for those who are more visual….



So the first thing you will notice is that on the left side of the bracket the Youngbucks are pretty much guaranteed to cruise into the finals as the right side bracket is more stacked than a post-"enhancement talent" RAW Diva Search winner. You've got the most decorated tag team in PWG history in "The Dynasty" facing the two biggest "names" in "The Hybrid Dolphins" Paul London and Bryan Danielson, then you have PWG World Champion Chris Hero and 2-time DDT winner Roderick Strong facing possibly THE best tag team in the industry today the "Motor City Machine Guns" Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin. It's interesting to see that they are giving us 2 premiere matches right off the bat with the MCMGs facing Strong/Hero and the built up feud of The Dynasty and London/AmDrag.

My prediction is that we'll end up with ChuckMega making it past Los Luchas to face The ‘Bucks since we've seen Luchas/Bucks numerous times and no way do the Cutlers get past the current champs. Then we'll see The Dynasty fall to London/Danielson since there is already a "Hybrid Dolphin" t-shirt and a one time showing wouldn't sell enough shirts and they should be facing off against the MCMG since THAT is the real money match up and at least PWG gets their money out of booking the guns. Plus if The Dynasty lose then we'll see them cost Hero the match and goes along with the Joey/Hero feud that is starting to bud. The Hybrid Dolphins will then face the ‘Bucks in the finals since there is no point in going MCMG/Bucks again right after they did that last show and… we'll see new tag champs.

Not that the ‘bucks don't deserve to win, but that allows London something more to do then just recant stories about why he isn't in TNA after all and it also furthers a storyline with London/Danielson where Lost would get a new partner with Joey chasing the PWG belt. Or…I'm totally wrong and the ‘Bucks retain and surprise us all. Then again with the Jackson Bros taking booking for Dragon Gate USA and RoH it seems they have a lot on their plate on not being so PWG exclusive might hurt them a bit here in the booking. Either way, should be a fun tournament for what it is…someone will have to fill me in on the details as I'll be knee deep in fish ‘n chips and Red Hook in Seattle.


Pimpin' In High Places

You know how I know I'm getting old? I don't even recognize half of the wrestling columnists anymore and the other half all have new columns. Odd, I may have one of the longest tenured columns here. Quick, someone much less lazy crunch the numbers for me:

Ask 411

Fact or Fiction

Top 5

We got a CHIKARA guy now?

HH

I don't even remember this guy when I left

R's

D-Dubya

I'm a few days away from the worst guilt trip of the year since I'm not going to be making it back to Seattle for Mother's Day since I have a business trip that same day in Albuquerque. You know, anyone who lives out that way could be a mensch by letting me know of a good place to eat out that way. Or some place to hang out. Or at the very least a titty club…okay the very MOST a titty club. Eh, fuck the sight seeing and food, find me some New Mexican titties. Wait…that sounds like racist joke about illegal strippers. Oh well, two for one.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B