The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks 05.15.09

Posted by John Meehan on 05.15.2009

Will the King of Kings return at Judgment Day? Ooh! How Biblical!



Welcome back to the Friday FreeThinks, 'rasslin fans. Not the busiest of news weeks in the 'rasslin world over the past seven days, but there's a pay per view this weekend that's almost guaranteed to provide a fresh new crop of results and rumors as we kickstart the traditionally jam-packed summer months. So let's see what we've got on tap this week, eh?

Rock & Roll.

The SELL of the week goes to Friday Night Smackdown. Normally, we give this honor to an individual performer who goes over and beyond the call of duty in order to hammer home the importance or "realism" of a particular match, feud or onscreen performance. This week, however, we're breaking from tradition and giving the SELL of the week award to WWE's blue brand, which has really been approaching the same level of action-packed excitement as the famed "Smackdown Six" heyday of a half decade ago. Thanks to a tremendous influx of new talent and a credible mix of main eventers and midcard performers, just about *every single segment* on last week's program gave viewers a reason to pay close attention, as "anything could happen" while "the B Show" really delivered their A Game. From multi-dimensional babyfaces and villains (Jeff Hardy, Chris Jericho), to meaningful undercard feuds with plenty of backstory and direction (CM Punk/Edge/Umaga, Shelton/Morrison/Haas), just about every single bout or segment on the card was used to crank up the heat on the show's hottest feuds as the blue brand's roster did their very best to *SELL* the upcoming pay per view. Seriously folks, if you haven't been watching Smackdown of late, do yourselves a favor and set those TiVos for MyNetworkTV on Friday nights at 8 p.m. It's a great, great program.

In the spirit of breaking from tradition, the TELL of the week goes to this week's Monday Night RAW -- the polar opposite of the fan-enticing, buyer-driving blue brand broadcast of just three nights earlier. Whereas last Friday night's Smackdown! made the build to this Sunday's Pay Per View seem meaningful and effortless, Monday night's RAW struggled at every turn, ultimately trying WAAAY too hard as it practically screamed "HEY! THIS MATCH IS DIRECTLY RELEVANT TO SUNDAY'S PAY-PER-VIEW! PLEASE PAY ATTENTION!" Go back and watch the tape, and at least a half dozen times, you will actually hear Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole uttering some slight variation of that very phrase ("This match has serious implications for Judgment Day!" Etc.). While I can understand the need for a go-home show to push the "hard sell" button a bit more liberally than fans would otherwise expect, Monday night's RAW just smacked of desperation all over the place, as storylines and ongoing feuds were overexposed (Cena/Show and the "7,000 Watt Spotlight"), rushed without reason (The VIP Lounge turns into a tag match WHY?), and simply rendered dumb and directionless (ten bucks says Miz goes right back to tag team wrestling alongside THE Brian Kendrick) for the sake of shilling an obligatory slate of red brand offerings for a Pay Per View that would probably better served without them in the long run. Rarely do I find anywhere near this level of sloppiness and fault on a wrestling broadcast, but this show was just a total mess.

New and/or newly returning performers or events of the past week.

David Hart Smith - The son of The British Bulldog returned to WWE programming this week when he appeared on Tuesday night's ECW broadcast and aligned himself with fellow Hart Dungeon graduates Natalya Neidhart and Tyson Kidd. Though these three talents are certainly no strangers to one another's lineage, training, and in-ring style, Tuesday night's ECW broadcast is significant as it marks the unofficial WWE television debut of a second-generation Hart Foundation stable, which has yet to recieve an official name on WWE programming.

Chad Collyer - former TNA and Ring Of Honor semi-regular Chad Collyer made a one-off WWE appearance in a losing effort against Vladimir Kozlov on Tuesday night's ECW broadcast. Though Collyer had previously been signed to a WWE developmental contract as recently as 2002, he is not believed to have signed a new WWE contract at this time.

Sarita - SHIMMER alumna Sarah Stock made her unofficial debut as a contracted member of the TNA roster on this week's Spanish language web-exclusive program, TNA Today. Stock -- who had twice competed under her given name in knockouts matches over the past several weeks -- now appears to have been added as a full-time member of the TNA roster, where she has adopted the ring name of "Sarita."

Frankie Kazarian - TNA X Division standout Frankie Kazarian has quietly made his return to TNA programming in recent weeks, where he now performs under the masked guise of "Suicide" and is the current holder of the company's X Division Championship. During his sabbatical from the company (which began at the tail end of last summer), Kazarian has worked through a series of injuries, forcing the Suicide character's onscreen debut to be delayed substantially, and ultimately requiring the company to put other performers (namely one Christopher Daniels) under the masked avenger's hood in order to keep the character viable and onscreen during Kazarian's recovery period. Presumably, Kazarian will continue in his masked role as Suicide for the duration of the character despite TNA's current and ongoing storyline where various members of the TNA roster are attempting to identify Christopher Daniels as the man behind the mask.



Obituaries, retirements, and/or performers whose contracts have ended this week.

None - In a welcome development, there are no obituaries or contract terminations to report this week.


Performers injured or suspended in the past week.

Rey Mysterio - WWE's Intercontinental Champion was reportedly "banged up" following a match that took place against Shelton Benjamin that will air as part of tonight's (Friday's) episode of Smackdown! The injury was first reported via the blog of WWE commentator Jim Ross, but the Hall of Fame announcer was quick to note that Mysterio's match against Chris Jericho at this Sunday's Judgment Day pay per view was most definitely "still on," and that he believed the masked luchador and the 2008 Superstar of the Year could easily deliver a show-stealing bout in spite of Mysterio's recent injury.



Performers who've landed in hot water over the past week.

Bob Holly - recently pink-slipped WWE performer Bob "Hardcore" Holly seems to have landed in the hot seat with the ever fickle good graces of the internet wrestling community this week on account of some remarks he'd recently made regarding his WWE release several months ago.

(But then again, good old rookie-hazing Hardcore was never really much in the IWC's good graces to begin with, now was he?)

Anyhow --

The story that's steamed some internet fans' clams this week traces back to a recent interview in which Bob Holly discussed the circumstances surrounding his release from World Wrestling Entertainment. In the interview, Holly claims that he was canned by the WWE brass after fellow WWE performer Mr. Kennedy snitched him out for swiping a bottle of prescription painkillers from his gym bag. The biggest gripe that these net critics have voiced basically stems from the fact that Holly comes across as a whiner who'd sooner blame somebody else for his problems (Mr. Kennedy) rather than man up and take personal accountability for them in the first place.

While I was never much of a fan of the onscreen work of the Alabama Slamma, I do think that it's only fair to give Bob Holly the benefit of the doubt on this one, as this story has really taken on a life of it's own and been blown way out of proportion thanks to the typically gossip-hungry channels of the internet wrestling pipeline.

It goes like this:

Holly was asked what got him fired, and he told the story that lead to his firing. In it, he fessed up to stealing prescription drugs from a fellow performer, which is a pretty solid indicator that he's all too well aware of just how serious his drug dependency was (or is) at the time of the incident in question. Sure, he backhandedly takes a swipe at the guy who "ratted him out" in the process (because, after all, pro wrestling is often been described as a modern-day "fraternity" -- and frat rules pretty much dictate that you settle your business amongst your "brothers" before running off to tattle to Mommy and Daddy)... but the bottom line is that Bob Holly seems more than willing to admit that HE had a pain pill problem, that HE went so far as to steal pills from another performer, and that HE alone is responsible for the actions which lead to his release even if another performer or promoter ultimately played some role in administering the consequences for HIS actions.

In the end --

When hearing this story from Bob Holly, I'm reminded of an old Sports Illustrated interview in which NFL legend Brett Favre admitted to being so addicted to pain pills that he would find himself puking them up after taking so many, only to then poke through a puddle of his own vomit and reconsume whatever undigested remains of a pill he could find. That, my friends, is the kind of story told by someone who has the self awareness to admit that they've hit rock bottom. And while Hardcore Holly may not have been digging through puke puddles in order to pop the pills to which he was addicted, he seems more than ready to admit that he was not above compromising his personal integrity and rifling through another man's personal belongings if it meant that he could score a quick fix to feed his own addiction.

And coming from a guy so notoriously steeped in "tradition" and "respect" for the business as Bob Holly? Fessing up to something even as trivial as petty theft has got to be a pretty big blow to the man's ego.

In both cases, we're hearing a story about an athlete who is so desperate to curb his pain that he will compromise his own integrity and self-respect so long as it allows him to keep the pain at bay. Like Brett Favre, Bob Holly most definitely needed help -- and though his WWE release ultimately came AFTER a company-sponsored stint through drug rehab (which would seem to indicate that his addictions still haunt him even after seeking the necessary treatment), here's hoping that the mere telling and retelling of his own desperate and shamefull story that resulted in his departure will stand as a starting point for a performer who clearly recognizes that his pain and pill problems have gotten far beyond the point of his own control.



Developing scandals, scuttlebutt, and budding backstage rumors.

"Macho Man" Randy Savage - In a bottom-of-the-barrel slow news week exclusive (TM), wrestling gossip sites have found themselves in something of a mini-tizzy over the past seven days when it was announced that WWE would *NOT* be releasing some sort of commemorative t-shirt in order to coincide with their upcoming release of a career retrospective DVD set on the storied career of the one and only Macho Man Randy Savage. According to various web reports, WWE's decision not to release a Randy Savage T-Shirt was prompted by the fact that company officials still aren't particularly fond of the former WWF Champion, and thus they'd rather not see a bunch of fans lining up at their live events while decked out in full Macho Man regalia.

Like so...



Clearly, WWE just isn't ready for this particular degree of concentrated (quasi-gender-bending?) Macho Madness.



In all seriousness, though --

One really can't blame WWE for deciding not to outfit their newest generation of fans (lest we forget, they're targeting the kiddies again) with a line of T-Shirts celebrating a star who they have little to ZERO intent of ever having back on their television screens ever again. Though the DVD package is certainly a welcome development for lifelong fans of Randy Savage, the bottom line is that an overwhelming chunk of those fans who'll be shelling out the bucks for a Macho Man DVD are probably some combination of:

a) Older fans with disposable income.
b) Older fans who'd sooner buy a DVD than a T-Shirt, and...
c) Older fans who probably wouldn't buy as many T-Shirts in the first place.

As a result?

One can't really blame WWE for being somewhat selective in their marketing approach to this most polarizing of their current crop of non-Hall-of-Fame alumni. After all, it really doesn't make all that much sense to drop a sizable amount of coin into a fresh batch of Macho Man T-Shirts when you know full well that...

a) You're effectively giving free promotion to a guy you have NO intent of rehiring.
b) Older fans don't buy nearly as many T-shirts as kids. And...
c) Older fans simply aren't your target demographic anymore.

MeeThinks?

File this one under "mountain out of a molehill" and save your outrage for a real and worthwhile controversy some time on down the line.



Recaps and thoughts on the major onscreen happenings of the past week.

In The WWE Universe, All Eyes Turn To Judgment Day
Sunday's Show to Kickstart PPV-Heavy Summer

Since news is relatively light across the board this week, we'll be taking this section to size up the potential "good news" and positive highlights of each of the matches that are currently scheduled for Sunday's Judgment Day PPV.


Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho
Jim Ross maintains that in spite of an injury to the current champion, Rey Mysterio's upcoming Intercontinental Title defense versus Chris Jericho could end up stealing the show this Sunday night at Judgment Day. Looking at Rey's recent track record at WWE pay per view events (okay, we'll ignore the little blip on the radar that was his mini-match at WrestleMania 25), one would be hard-pressed to disagree that the little man can still be a big time player. And Jericho has likewise been on such a popularity tear that the match could end up working the crowd into a serious frenzy even if Mysterio is nowhere near 100% health.

The good news, then?

This is one of those rare cases where a typically fast-paced superstar's real-life injury could actually *benefit* the overall quality of the match. Rey Rey's greatest appeal is his speed, while Jericho has pretty much evolved into that of a self-important asshole who delights in raining on the parade of anyone who dares to cheer for his opponent. As a result, Jericho can slow the pace of the contest down to a heel-dominated crawl while soaking up the surefire boos, and fans will likely be rabid to see Mysterio bust out so much as ONE quick flurry of offense to retain his Intercontinental Title.

Not a bad way to make in-ring psychology lemonade out of a real-life injury's newest batch of lemons, eh?

Jack Swagger vs. Christian
Of course, the question as to whether or not Mysterio will actually be able to deliver a Match of the Night candidate is clearly up for debate. And looking at the other matches on Sunday's card, there are still a good number of variables in play and so that claim may prove to be a tall order.

Jack Swagger and Christian have proven on a number of occassions that they are more than capable of delivering a first-rate contest if given enough time. But in the past, WWE has demonstrated a penchant towards keeping PPV-caliber ECW Championship matches earlier on the card and noticably shorter than their higher-profile counterparts. As such, this one could easily underwhelm if the proper time is not allotted its way.

If, however, WWE decides to give these two the better part of a quarter hour in order to showcase what they can do? The All American American and the ECW Champion could, quite frankly, turn a catchphrase into a calling card by delivering an "Instant Classic" of their own. And with the ECW brand only offering ONE match on a six-match card that's scheduled to run a full three hours? Fifteen minutes of in-ring time for a title match (even if it's a "C Show" title match) hardly seems out of the question.


CM Punk vs. Umaga
In non-title action, CM Punk will meet Umaga in a match that's sure to have some serious implications as the Straightedge Superstar continues his quest towards the WWE Championship. CM Punk has certainly been on a roll, of late, but this is Umaga's first single's PPV appearance in a year, and WWE has been known on more than one occassion to "send the fans home angry" by jobbing out the hometown hero in front of his native crowd (Judgment Day eminates from Punk's own Chicago).

In other words?

Expect a hot crowd and some serious potential for a screwy finish.


The Big Show vs. John Cena
Thanks perhaps to the lackluster "go home" RAW of this past Monday night, the red brand's two main offerings seem to have very little in the way of critical buzz going for them as they stumble toward Sunday's PPV. That said, while Randy Orton versus Batista and Big Show versus John Cena probably aren't likely to be anywhere NEAR ***** classics, there are plenty of "extracurricular activities" that could transpire in, around, or during either of these matches that would make them the most talked about contests around the Monday morning water cooler when all is said and done.

Namely?

For Show vs. Cena, questions still linger as to Cena's "health," WWE's long-term plans for Big Show (because seriously, where can he possibly go from here if he ends up losing to the brand's perpetual title threat and battle-damaged Superman?), and Vickie Guerrero's involvement -- or lack thereof. William Shakespeare it is not, I'll grant you -- but these out-of-ring riddles with very real long-term implications will probably do a great deal to provide some intrigue for (or at the very least, a welcome distraction from) a bout that's essentially little more than an undercard rematch from WrestleMania XX.


Randy Orton vs. Batista
Flipping over to Orton versus Batista, and fans can't help but wonder if we'll be seeing an onscreen return from Triple H. Expect a wild and unpredictable atmosphere to add some much-needed excitement to what should otherwise be something of a slow and pedestrian affair (yay chinlocks!), as The Game most assuredly has unfinished business with not just one but BOTH of the competitors involved in this red brand main event. If Triple H is indeed to return on Sunday night, this match will probably be used to close out the show in order to set the wheels in motion for a Evolution-themed three-way-chase for the World Championship as WWE's flagship program finds its direction heading into the PPV-heavy months of June and July (we're talking three PPVs in eight weeks). And *regardless* of how this match ends on Sunday night, one has to believe that bidnizz is about to pick up for the Monday Night main event crew, as an extended one-on-one program between Randy Orton and Dave Batista is not likely to last too far beyond Judgment Day so long as we have a fresh-off-of-"injury" Triple H waiting in the wings.


Jeff Hardy vs. Edge
The other main event, of course, belongs to Smackdown! -- and will feature Jeff Hardy challenging his longtime rival, Edge, for the WWE Championship. This feud is as longstanding and heated as they come, but one seriously has to wonder if WWE will have the lack of forsight to move the title around the waist of "The Charismatic Enigma" when he still has yet to sign a new contract with the company in order to guarantee his presence on their roster for any more than a few additional weeks, at best.

So why is this match worth watching, then?

A win here from Jeff Hardy (heck, even a strong showing) would probably solidify the fact that he's indeed signed a new deal to remain a part of the WWE roster. For as entertaining and marketable as he has proven to be, Jeff Hardy has likewise demonstrated that he can be a tremendous liability -- both in terms of professionalism and personal behavior once the cameras stop rolling. As a result, Hardy's offscreen "demons" may haunt him to the point where WWE gets a serious case of cold feet in awarding him their most prestigious championship for a second time. But if Hardy has inked a new deal (or given every indication that he'll be doing so in the immediate future)?

We very well could be looking at a new WWE Champion, folks.


And With That, I'm Outta' Here

That does it for Mee this week. For those of y'all graduating this weekend, CONGRATS! And do try and resist the urge to spin around in circles and shout "Oooooooooh Yeeeeeeahhhh!" when you hear the triumphant sounds of "Pomp and Circumstances" echo throughout your commencement excercises, eh? 'Till next time, have a great weekend, and always stay positive!

- Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : [phone]-SAFE.