Wrestling’s 4R’s Tuesday Edition 05.19.09: WWE Smackdown and WWE Judgment Day Reviewed!

Posted by Larry Csonka on 05.19.2009

The R’s are back again to break down the most recent edition of Smackdown and the Judgment Day PPV!


In HD where available…


By: Jeremy "NOT LARRY CSONKA" Thomas

WWE SmackDown 05.15.09

THE RIGHT:

THE WORLD'S GREATEST TAG TEAM vs. CM PUNK & JOHN MORRISON…WAIT, WHAT?: SmackDown started off with John Morrison's music practically interrupting the SmackDown theme before the man himself came out to a surprisingly hefty round of cheers from the crowd. He gave us the greatest entrance in professional wrestling today…though I will admit, it's been suffering a little with Morrison coming out solo. I dunno, it just worked kinda better with Miz part of the mix. He had apparently signed up for a tag team match against Haas and Benjamin, and his partner turned out to be no less than Mr. Money in the Bank himself, CM Punk. J.R. and T-Grish seemed quite surprised by this revelation and well they should have been, considering that Morrison and Punk have had their very fair share of issues in the past. Points to the Grish for actually pointing out that they used to be adversaries; I am glad to see that they acknowledged the duo's past feud, even if just barely in passing. They recapped how Morrison lost to Jericho on Superstars last week thanks to Benjamin's interference and the development of the feud this week on the same show as the World's Greatest Tag Team came down to the ring…sadly, to Benjamin's music and not to the old WGTT song. Haas is looking to have completely shed the impersonator gimmick at this point, which I still consider is just as well; I enjoyed the gimmick for a while, but it's about time he was taken seriously. Haas and Punk started out with some stiff-looking offense before Morrison was tagged in, and I have to say that Morrison's been looking even better solo then he did when he was a member of MnM—either version. These four guys came in and had a good, solid match that was as good as any tag match we've seen on TV in a long while to give SmackDown a very hot opening. It wasn't 100% fast-paced breakneck stuff, but sometimes that is for the best as it can burn a crowd out very quickly. They certainly didn't that, and the crowd stayed hot; there was a noticeable CM Punk chant early in the match and the audience stayed audible throughout. The announcing team did a great job of selling everyone involved, and while I do think it's odd that Punk and Morrison worked so well when they used to loathe each other, it's been long enough that I can forgive that. This one got a good, strong amount of time and made the most out of it; these guys showed us just why they belong in the upper mid-card and hopefully the creative team is paying attention because they damn well should be. There was a lot of give-and-take in this match and even through the reunited WGTT lost, they didn't lose any credibility while doing so. I enjoyed the hell out of this match and felt it was a great way to open the show hot instead of the super-long promo segments they usually do.

JEFF SPEAKS!: Back from commercial following Jeff's win over Ricky Ortiz, Josh Matthews was in the ring to tell Jeff that he now had momentum going into Judgment Day. So, wait a minute…beating Kane, Jericho and Rey Rey in a Fatal Four-Way and then Jericho again one-on-one didn't give Jeff enough momentum, but beating Ricky "Rally" Ortiz did? I'm lost. Anyway, Jeff pointed out Edge's pattern of winning a World Title one PPV and then losing it the next, applying it to the current situation to say it was going to lead to a new champ come Judgment Day. This was very short and sweet, with Jeff playing nicely to the fans and delivering well on the mic. I always find it funny that people shit on Jeff's mic skills but don't trash Batista when Jeff is at least able to deliver his lines with some level of realism to his character and without stumbling over his words. This wasn't the greatest promo of all-time but it served its purpose; get the crowd even more behind Day-Glo than they already were and hard-selling the PPV match. I'm okay with that.

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. JIMMY WANG YANG: Jimmy's still got a job? I'm serious this time…I had honestly thought he'd been released. But no, apparently not since he was here to take on Dolph Ziggler who was coming off the chair attack against the Great Khali which was recapped before this began. It started with Dolph's new thing in demanding on a hand-shake while J.R. mocked the man's name. Listen Jim, we all think that the name is dumb too, but we don't need you pointing that out, kay? Thanks. The whole point here was to help get Dolph over, and in that it certainly succeeded. Dolph pretty much dominated the Wangster throughout most of the match, and outside of a few slightly awkward moments there wasn't anything to dislike here. I could have hoped for more, but this worked well for what it was and thus I can give it a pass. After the match, the Great Khali came down to the ring all pissed off and tossed Dolph around, forcing him to run off. This I liked because it's continuing Khali's return to something serious. I don't know how long they're going to keep this Khali/Dolph thing going but I'm perfectly fine with it for now.

R-TRUTH vs. MIKE KNOX: This was a rematch of the bout that Knox won last week. Truth went without his usual full rap through the crowd portion to instead come out from the side of the stage, which is probably better because he doesn't get distracted trying to climb down stairs and rap at the same time but he can still pal around with the crowd. In fact, he seemed more coherent with his lyrics this time around than he usually is, so I hope they stick with this. Truth got a good reaction as usual and Knox got a lukewarm reaction, also as usual. These two men seemed to have adjusted slightly better to working with each other from last week, as it had the relative quality of their first match without the minor awkwardness that they displayed a couple times. It was a good mix of mismatched styles that let the duo work against each other well, and Truth got his win back after the spinning corkscrew elbow. This makes for a nice mini-feud for both men, and even with the loss Knox is still coming out of this match then he looked when he was last on Raw while Truth looks good by beating a big wild man like Knox. These two won't be putting on a five-star match any time soon, but it's solid work from both guys and if it helps them both get over then all the better.

EDGE vs. CHRIS JERICHO: Interestingly enough, when Edge came out for this he seemed to have a somewhat mixed crowd reaction, which I guess shows who the audience considers the bigger heel between Edge and Y2J. It wasn't Cena/Orton levels of mixed and the boos were overwhelmingly winning, but one could note an audible pop in there. In Jericho's case there was nothing approaching that, and he was pure heel heat. They jawed at each other before Jericho slapped Edge, which got a slap in return and then turned into an all-out brawl. Normally I'm not big on a match going to the outside as early as they did but it didn't last long before they took it back inside. They settled down quickly after the impassioned start with Jericho working the shoulder and Edge targeting our Savior's head; the slower start allowed them to really build the match up and the well-paced result was much appreciated by yours truly . They had some good, solid offense against each other and some fun spots too, such as both men trying to use their feet ropes to steal a win, both of which were noticed by the ref. There was actually some decent psychology to the match too; a good example was Edge quickly going for the Sharpshooter when Jericho seemed to have tweaked his knee off the Lionsault attempt and Jericho's continued working over of the knee. Both guys just gave it their all here and while it didn't have the mind-blowing spots of what we'd expect from a Pay-Per-View match, as a free TV match it was outstanding.

Of course, with the match involving the two biggest opportunists in the ‘E, it was no surprise that it would end in a DQ; I was okay with this as that means we didn't completely give away a match between the two main-eventers on TV. The end was a solid way to hard-sell Judgment Day too, with Jeff coming in and taking out Edge and then Jericho while Punk came out to cash in his Money in the Bank shot but getting stopped by Umaga. I actually didn't like that as much as it kind of goes back on Punk's face character, and why would Umaga try to stop Punk when Punk winning the belt would ostensibly mean that the Samoan would get a title match? Rey Rey also came out and took it to Jericho; this was perhaps a little overbooked, but it worked fine for me for the most part and was a solid way to end the show.

PURGATORY:

MORE CONSPIRACIES THEN A TEXAN PRESIDENTIAL ASSASSINATION: Chris Jericho made his way down to the ring after the commercial break ready to rock in his wrestling gear, and he did not look particularly pleased. His job here was basically to verbally sell the match with Rey Mysterio. He started off with a grandiose sort of statement about Judgment Day being the end times where we're all judged, and then proceeded to rattle off his usual spiel about parasitic, hypocritical fans and how there was a conspiracy against him orchestrated by the "inept" Teddy Long and the jealous superstars in the back. I have to say, I think I've been pretty consistently a fan of Jericho's character for a good long while—and I still am—but this was not his best work. I think he just took the speech a little too over-the-top this time around with the whole rapture bit and his paranoid conspiracy theory. It wasn't a bad promo, but it failed by virtue of simple disappointment compared to the great work he's done for so long. He got back on a more even ground when he declared SmackDown to be HIS show, and then when he turned his attention to Rey Rey. He seemed more focused and grounded in sanity there, which was probably for the best. Jericho seems a little better when he has someone to tear down and he's not just in a general freak-out, grandiose statement-making mode, and that's what happened in parts here.

Jericho called out Rey Rey when he was done because he didn't want to wait until Judgment Day, but instead of getting the Intercontinental Champion he got the World Heavyweight Champion. Edge told Jericho he was already sick and tired of his voice and then played the "I'm more paranoid than you are" game. He turned it into a bigger dick contest, and by Edge's reckoning he definitely won. Edge then took over Jericho's time and called out HIS opponent for Judgment Day, Jeff Hardy, and Jericho was having none of that. While they argued, Teddy Long came out and said it wasn't either of their shows, it was the WWE Universe's show. Right. Anyway, he booked Edge versus Jericho for the main event, which was sure to produce a good match but strikes me as an odd sort of booking. Both men are very strong heels, and call me crazy but I don't generally take to double-heel matches. They just don't generally work as well as face-face or more traditional matches; of course, in this case it did work for the most part, so I can let that part of it go. All in all, this wasn't bad but it felt to me like an opening-show promo, just shifted forward in order to let them start off with a match. Jericho was just a bit off his game and while I get what they're trying to do more or less, I don't know if I like it and this whole thing drops solidly into puRgatoRy for me.

JEFF HARDY vs. RICKY ORTIZ: After last week's Jericho/Jeff match was recapped in the WWE Smack of the Night, we got this match between the Day-Glo Warrior—who looked more like a rabid football fan than a face-painted pro-wrestler—taking Ricky Ortiz in the latter's Blue Brand debut. Now for those who remember any of the R's I did on ECW, I've never been particularly big on Ortiz. I felt he was just too generic and didn't have the look, the moveset or the workrate to make it as a big name. Ortiz had his Rally Towel and gave a pre-taped promo about how he needed the fans behind him if he was going to beat Jeff. Yeah, good luck with that Rick. Now I will say that Ortiz has improved somewhat in the ring; the key word there is "somewhat" as he still has a ways to go before I'll consider him really good. He's definitely grown tolerable though, and if he continues to improve and proves me wrong then more power to him. That said, I'm sorry but considering that Day-Glo is our Number One contender he sold WAY too much offense at the hands of someone who's been languishing in the lower card of ECW for a while now. He came back fast and quickly put Ortiz away which was good, but either way this match just didn't work so well for me, perhaps due to a combination of the amount of offense Ortiz got and the general shortness of the match. Had it been a Jeffrey squash then I would have been all right with the length; instead it just looked like the #1 Contender had to come back to beat a glorified curtain-jerker, and that's a problem.

MICHELLE McCOOL & ALICIA FOX vs. GAIL KIM & MELINA: You kinda had to know this match would be seen sooner rather than later. The heels came out first, and actually did get a brief heel reaction from the crowd which is honestly more than I expected; it sound like the SmackDown ladies are finally starting to catch on some with the crowd. Gail Kim hit the ring first for the faces, and I have to say that as damn good as she looked, I don't think I've noticed her retardedly generic entrance music before. Wow is it bad. Melina more than made up for it though and the crowd loved her just as much as I do. Points go to Melina for pausing after her splits moment entering the ring to point at the title to mock Michelle, which seemed to piss Taker's girl off quite a bit by the opening brawl/roll-around. These four actually had a pretty tolerable match going with Michelle playing up the bitch role nicely, the faces hitting some good crowd-pleasing offense and Alicia…well, having big-ass hair. I'm not a huge fan of Alicia's and I think she has a lot to learn in the ring, but she was kept to a relative minimum here and that was fine with me. The main problem with this match was that it was too short, but all the ladies worked hard and had this been a little longer it probably would have made it into the Right; it was just too clipped and rushed to really pull that off. My other problem is that Michelle shouldn't have been the one to take the fall, because she's probably the best contender to Melina's title. Alicia could easily have taken the loss and being lower on the Women's Division totem pole it wouldn't have hurt her any. Ahh, well.

THE WRONG:

LAYLA STEPS ON CRYME TYME'S MOJO: Backstage, Cryme Tyme was talking with Eve, buttering her up and telling her how she had it going on…or something like that. JTG said that the word on the street was that Layla had all the moves though and was talking about Eve's mama. Seriously guys, Mama references? Wow. This was enough to piss Eve off, and she walked about twenty feet over to where Layla was getting her make-up done—and apparently had cotton balls in her ears if she couldn't hear Cryme Tyme setting her up—and dumped make-up in her hair. This resulted in a catfight on the make-up table that Shad and JTG broke up. Um, okay? Will someone tell me what the hell the point of these is? Layla and Eve won't be putting on any great matches in the ring, so I hope they're not building to that. But even with that aside, why the hell is Cryme Tyme provoking fights and then coming in to break them up? Was it some convoluted plan to cop a feel on the ladies? Did they want a chance to steal the Divas' bling? Or maybe they just like catfights involving face powder. Whatever the reason, this made no sense and was generally a waste of time that would have been better spent on the Diva tag match.

THE RIDICULOUS:

Not a damn thing.

The 411

Coming in the same week as the most disappointing Raw in recent memory, SmackDown once again proved why they're the show to watch if you're a wrestling fan. The opening match and main event were both just fantastic and everything in-between was good to average, with the exception of the unnecessary and dumb continuing Layla/Eve/Cryme Tyme…whatever the hell it is. If things keep going this way then the Blue Brand's going to make some serious stars out of the upper midcard posse, and assuming that's the ‘E's goal then they're succeeding on massive levels.

SHOW RATING: ***½

Comment Time with Jeremy!

From Brad:
Raw really did suck the big one this week. Somehow my lack of faith in the booking of Orton has gone down even more, mainly because its not just him now, its Legacy as an entire group that is possibly weaker than La Familia ever could be. Sigh.
You make a good point how Cena gets the crap beaten out of him by everyone, but almost every other top face is in bubble wrap.

Unfortunately I have to agree with you, Brad. I used to be willing to give the 'E some faith in terms of what they were doing with Orton, but they've screwed this up in a very major way and Orton's coming out looking like utter shite as a result. Randy's far from a lost cause but they need to pick it up quickly, otherwise it's all just going to fall apart and he'll just have another badly failed title reign under his belt.


From christy:
You know, Cena sure does job a lot. Maybe he's making up for what he lacks in the charisma department in his eternal quest to emulate The Rock (who put over a hella lotta people).

Watch out for Cena to eat a chokeslam from the big show like a bitch.

Shades of the Rock doin cartwheels after a stunner.

I don't think that he's necessarily trying to emulate the Rock, though like many I've always found the career parallels between the two very interesting. I just think that Cena is a guy who (much like the Rock) doesn't have a paranoia regarding his "spot" and recognizes that taking a loss doesn't really hurt his credibility much. Thus, he's willing to put over the talent to help get them over, understanding that it's important to create new stars if he's going to have people to feud with down the road. He can't battle Edge, Orton, Show and 'H forever, after all.


From Guest#8274:
I always hated Santino. Whether it be his mispronounciation or lame ass comedy skits. He just isn't funny. And just when I thought I couldn't get any worse, he starts crossdressing and now WWE made him annoying as fuck. I mean he's usually on TV no more then 3-7 minutes a week and I change the channel last week because I simply can't stand him to HHH level circa 2003 where I stopped watching RAW because of him. Though Santino isn't on RAW long enough for me top stop watching the shitty writing is

As everyone knows, I'm not a fan of the Santina stuff, but I think we'll have to agree to disagree on whether he's funny or not. I mean don't get me wrong, half the crap they do with Santino doesn't have any business being on TV (and especially not Pay-Per-View like it often is), but without Santino it would be far worse than it actually is. We're definitely in agreement about the writing, though.


From Shockmaster:
MARYSE & JILLIAN HALL vs. MICKIE JAMES & TRIPLE K: This match did a nice job setting up a title match and I hope a win for Mickie James. I love it when Mickie is on top (now THAT is a double entendre).

JOHN CENA vs. THE MIZ: Hooray! Miz gets in lots of offense AND they found a way to keep him from jobbing. This came off as well as I ever hoped for and Miz can use it for further cheap heat. 3-0 OOO-RAH!!

OF PIGS AND LESBIANOS: Not to be overly sensitive, but the pig jokes at Vickie's expense are needlessly mean. I don't care if she agreed to it, no woman is okay with that sort of thing. Between that and Santino's crossdressing it's getting too uncomfortable to watch.

THE MVP LOUNGE/MATT HARDY & WILLIAM REGAL vs. KOFI KINGSTON & M.V.P.: In maybe five minutes they got the entire midcard clarified for us, and followed with a quality match to make us care. Bravo.

WWE RESTRAINING ORDERS AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE: What a train wreck. Orton's cadence still reminds me of Stephen Hawking's voice computer. "If you're looking... for trouble... you've found it!" Can't they give him a pot of coffee before he goes on? Then we have Vickie's booking, holy %&@# they have to be joking. A handicap match to see if there would be ANOTHER handicap match? There's no denying it, they're booking by throwing darts at a board. Odd number means handicap match, even means three minute special, bullseye they give 'em ten minutes.

BETH PHOENIX vs. SANTINA MARELLA: If Beth wins she looks tough and Santino gets sympathy from the fans. So they have him win again. Just, no.

BATISTA vs. RANDY ORTON: The only segments of Raw I fast forwarded on my DVR were the handicap match, backstage attacks and this. The main event angle is the worst part of Raw and gets by far the most time. You can just hear Poochie H telling Vince how he needs to be champ again after this booking has devalued the title. Even in FF this stuff was a chore to watch.

I thought you'd be happy with the Miz/Cena bit. I have to admit, I didn't think they'd give Miz as much as they did but damn if they haven't pulled it off so far. Whether they keep going or not will be another story, but for now I'm impressed. You make an excellent point with the Matt/Regal vs. Kofi/Montel tag match, it did do a fabulous job of setting up the midcard for us. I would have vastly appreciated Beth beating Santina myself, but he got the fluke pin and I don't think that hurts Beth as much as it otherwise does.

Now, as for the pig jokes toward Vickie, I can agree with you in theory. Honestly though I've met some very emotionally secure women in my life who I don't think would have any problem being in such a situation for entertainment purposes (and a big paycheck). If Vickie doesn't like it, she could always leave the way Kristal did over that whole business. It's not like Vickie doesn't have a big enough name now that she wouldn't have options. So I'm willing to think that she can probably handle it. I agree, they probably shouldn't go there on principle, but I don't think we can assume Vick's not good with the whole thing unless we hear otherwise. And as for the Batista vs. Orton stuff...well, we're in full agreement there. I can handle Randy's cadence a little better, though I admit he does talk slow. I think that just comes down to personal preference, and he sells it well with his expression and body language for me.


From 17:
"You know what, no one fucked anything up and there wasn't even any awkwardness in the match"

What match were you watching Jeremy? All the moves not done by Mickie looked sloppy and awkward, especially Kelly and Jillian who fucked up a move so badly it actually got its own subject on one of the message boards I surfed through. Jillian charged Kelly who was near the ropes, Kelly was supposed to pull the rope down at the last second and Jillian was supposed to fall through the ropes to the outside where (I assume) Kelly would go after her, but Kelly pulled the rope down BEFORE JILLIAN EVEN STARTED RUNNING. As a result Jillian just threw herself through the ropes in a move that completely exposed the business. It was actually kind of funny in a sad way. That move alone should at least move it down to the wRong if not the Ri-God-Damn-Diculous.

"Well, nice to see that the Bisch's promise to bring lesbians to Raw was made good, albeit seven years after the fact."

Well the Bisch did bring a couple of lesbians to RAW... and Mickie was one for a while...

"Lawler called him "the most dominant star in the WWE today" and Vintage Cole agreed; insert your own joke here about how he needed Priceless's help to beat Shane."

That line about Orton being "the most dominant star in the WWE today" made me laugh out loud, not because I hate him but because of the way he's being booked the last couple of weeks. And it's more like insert your own joke here about how Orton and his boys have been made to look constantly weak.

"We then found Cody backstage with a big-ass lead pipe in hand, which didn't do him very much good as he was about to use it on someone from behind a door before it turned out to be Hornswaggle. That allowed Big Dave to sneak up and grab Cody, pulling him into the closet. Hopefully he didn't have any Heidenreich-like plans there."

With the way priceless has been booked having Big Dave literally rape them almost seems like the next logical step.

Overall you rated this show at least a star too high in my opinion.

I know a lot of people called me out for the Divas Tag Match, and I went back and looked at the match again to see. I don't think it deserved a wRong or worse, but I will admit I missed the botch you described. I'd probably rethink that one enough to put it in puRgatoRy, but not worse than that. I remember Bisch's lesbians and Mickie as a pseudo-lesbian...there was also the point in time where Candice was pretty strongly insinuating the same. But mentioning them would have ruined the joke, and what fun is that? Anyway, I don't think this was a 3/4* show, that's the kind of thing that's gotta be reserved for some truly terrible work--I'm talking Heroes of Wrestling or WCW at the end bad. It sure as hell wasn't good by any definition, but it wasn't the worst thing ever. Just in the last long while.


From Eboney:
Not gonna lie, I only come to the Friday 4R's for the Layla pic.

You da man, Jeremy.

Thanks, Eb...glad I can please! I admit I do love that pic and it's sure to stick around.


From Carnivore:
Jeremy is quickly becoming the Michael Cole of 411...hard to take seriously.

Hey, now...that's just mean. Can't I at least be the Kung Fu Naki? That way I can push for Larry to change my gimmick back to "INDEED!" Anyway, thanks for reading!

---

WWE JUDGMENT DAY 2009~!
By: Larry Csonka

QUICK RESULTS:
- Umaga defeated CM Punk @ 12:00 via pin [**½]
- ECW TITLE MATCH: Christian defeated Jack Swagger @ 10:00 via pin [**½]
- John Morrison defeated Shelton Benjamin @ 11:00 via pin [***]
- IC TITLE MATCH: Rey Mysterio defeated Chris Jericho @ 12:30 via pin [***¾]
- WWE TITLE MATCH: Batista defeated Randy Orton @ 14:45 via DQ [*¾]
- John Cena defeated The Big Show @ 15:00 via pin [*]
- WORLD TITLE MATCH: Edge defeated Jeff Hardy @ 20:00 via pin [***½]

THE RIGHT:

John Morrison defeated Shelton Benjamin: A pleasant last minute edition to the card was Morrison vs. Shelton. I like both guys, they always work hard and have been delivering, and they deserved the shot to deliver on PPV, and deliver they did. In my opinion they had the third best match on the show. They got a good amount of time, and they were working to impress. In the end this was a really good showing from both men. I hate that Shelton needs to keep losing, but the plan is for Morrison to be a top face on the brand, so he needs the wins. They tried some really innovative (for WWE) stuff, and most of it was good, while a few things were a bit off, but not like HOLY SHIT that sucked. More like, "That sounded much easier backstage." Morrison in particular was bumping for three men, and nearly killed himself a few times. He has a ton of skill and tried to showcase it all to show that he deserves the push.

IC TITLE MATCH: Rey Mysterio defeated Chris Jericho: Two guys with such a history should have good matches, and I expected a good match and well, we got a good match here, very good. Rey is beat up, got injured again this week, and well to be honest with you I was concerned about the match. Jericho is great, and Rey would try if he was hurt, but it could have been bad. But Rey must have taken some great gimmicks because he looked like he felt great out there, because he went at 100% (for 2009 Rey) and with Jericho being Jericho, ingredients were there for a tasty match. And it was, the match of the night for me. Great intensity, great action, hot crowd, sweet counters, some fresh stuff from both considering the times they have faced off, and it CLICKED, it's just that simple. In closing, had they had a few more minutes and if Rey would have sold the knee better, this could have reached greatness. Instead, we'll settle for VERY good. The 619 teases worked out great, although I hate the move, Jericho proclaiming that Rey would not hit it and Jericho avoiding it numerous times was great. And just to throw out my opinion, I would have had Jericho win here and start a long program between them, culminating in a mask vs. title match at Summerslam, where Rey wins. They may still go that way, but that's what I would have done. But this was my match of the night.

Edge defeated Jeff Hardy: And so we came to the main event of the show, for the World Title. Would Edge have yet another short title run, or would he be able to hold onto the belt, that was the question. They had plenty of time, 20-minutes, and the match was a good one. They worked hard, did a lot of interesting things and while the crowd was a little dead to begin, due to Orton vs. Dave, they were able to get them back and by the end they were into it big time. The changes of pace were really good, as they were able to keep you guessing until the end. The end saw Matt Hardy Pearl Harbor his brother with the cast, which took its toll, allowing Edge to capitalize and hit the top rope implant DDT for the victory. As you would expect, these guys had a good match, but it wasn't as great as the stuff they had been doing. And with it being in the main event spot, "good" usually doesn't cut it. They had some great spots, they had good pacing, and the finish worked out great, but it just never got to that higher gear that you may expect. From al indications, Jeff will be leaving when his contract was up, and they are using it to help Matt out. I expect Jeff to have some crazy ass match at Extreme Rules, where he falls to his death in a tank filled with piss ,vinegar, lemon juice, salt and piranhas. It will be a good day to die.

PURGATORY:

Umaga defeated CM Punk: The opening match of the show was CM Punk vs. Umaga. Great choice for the opener, due to Punk being from Chicago. When he came out he got a superstar reaction to the MAX. Those people were so happy to see him, and they stayed hot for the entire match. As I always mention, the opener is so important, and this came off. A very solid to good opener, I expected more, but in no way was it bad. The thing that bothered me a bit was that Punk was trying for the GTS repeatedly, and kept failing in epic fashion, and then he failed again, and he just got beat clean. Just beat. This is the perfect case of a match that SHOULD NOT have been booked. It is Umaga's first PPV match back, he can't lose, and if he does, he looks like shit. Punk is MITB, and he SHOULD be winning on PPV, especially after losing last month. If they wanted Umaga to win, he should have won on TV and then had the PPV match, where Punk wins. NOT this, in Punk's hometown. Seriously, they are crying about wanting to make new stars, and Punk is so over in Chicago, was the big shit Grand Marshall at the one parade there, he is set for a mainstream star in the part of the country. WWE wants to be mainstream so bad, but they always give away the easy shit. So Punk loses, and then he doesn't even come back. If not to cash in, he could have at least came out to help by taking out Matt Hardy and MAKE the people think that he will cash in. God match, could have been better, horrible booking.

ECW TITLE MATCH: Christian defeated Jack Swagger: Another match I was looking forward too was the ECW title match between Swagger and Christian. I have said repeatedly that Christian has been on a roll since his return, Swagger has a ton of potential, and together they have had good to great matches. This one will fall into good, as they had a fine match, but they just never got out of second gear. I feel that they needed some more time, which they didn't get because we had to have the long non-wrestling segment on the show. It wasn't bad in any way, but was the weakest of their bouts thus far, which isn't a good trend. The finish was great as Christian snuck out of the Doctor Bomb, pulled the straps off of Swagger, got the roll up and the tights (which Swagger tried before) and got the win, continuing the trend of the veteran outsmarting the stringer and younger man. In the end it was a disappointing match, as Backlash was a bit better. Hopefully they get to pick it up at Extreme Rules, where Christian thrives taking the big bumps, and Swagger can look like a monster.

THE WRONG:

WWE TITLE MATCH: Batista defeated Randy Orton…and HOLY SHIT ITS AN ROH INVASION~!: The WWE title match of Orton and Batista was a match that I will admit I wasn't exactly looking forward too. The match was simply boring. Orton slowly worked over the back, and when he wasn't doing that, he tried to get counted out. It was a decent plan, but the execution was very flawed. Batista also was hobbled due to his hamstring injury, and I really feel that he came back way too soon. So Orton eventually does the intentional DQ, and Ted and Cody join the party for the beat down on Big Dave. And then, from out of nowhere came ROH Ambassador RIC FLAIR! THE ROH INVASION HAS BEGUN BITCHES! Well, actually not, but still, Flair did show up and made the save, continuing the trend of Cody and Ted looking like weak ass punks as they could offer up nothing for Flair. While I do NOT want to see Flair wrestle, a short-lived Evolution reunion and eventual heel turn by Batista by killing Flair in the ring could be cool. But it was painfully obvious that the only reason they did the Flair run in was an attempt to use some smoke and mirrors and cover up the shitty ending and try to make people happy. Also, he booking of Orton is so tri-polar. One week he is bad ass and ruling the world, the nest week he is a coward, and then there are the times where he just looks like a bitch. Make up your mind, because when he was booked as the bad ass, he was ruling the world. This was the opposite of win.

THE RIDICULOUS:

John Cena defeated The Big Show: This match COULD have been good. Cena has had great matches, Show proved he could have good matches last year with Taker, so they had the ability. But this had fail written all over it. We have a 15-minute match, which featured Big Show beating on Cena like he owed him money, SLOWLY, for 12-minutes. Cena would come back occasionally, try the STFU, fail and get beat down. Finally, Show misses his KO shot, and Cena HULKS UP and FU's him for the win. All the while I hear Michael Cole saying how Cena had to adapt his game. He didn't adapt asshole, and JD will back me up here, he didn't adapt shit, he just played superhero and got the win off of a move he shouldn't have been able to do after a 12-minute beat down, also taking into account that he has back, rib and what the fuck ever injuries. There has to be SOME believability and psychology, and all this had was SUCK. That's 15-minutes I'll ever get back.

I Paid For Wrestling, Not the Gun Show…: And here was our obligatory "WWE WASTE PPV TIME SEGMENT OF THE NIGHT!" The Miz came out, and to his credit he did well, but I also think that people are overestimating the promo. He was in Chicago, he blasted the fans, the Cubs and one of the Cubs players. In that situation, it isn't that hard to get massive heat. But he did fine, and then of course we got Santino, the guy they want to do something with but have no faith in, which led to Chavo, the due who can't buy a win, yet is allover the show with Vickie. SHIT. This was shit, didn't like it, sorry. This time could have been better served going into the ECW Title match, or the IC Title match, both matches needed it, and I feel that they should have gotten it. I pay for matches, resolution and storytelling, not this stuff. THAT and we went off the air around 10:46pm, STILL with extra time, hey guys, let's give the matches more time! I just do not like this shit on PPV, and I likely never will. Sorry kids, and for those who tell me to get over it, no. I paid for the show, it's my column, it's my opinion. If you liked it, good for you, go on with your bad self, I didn't.

The 411

I feel that this show was very similar to the April shows, especially Backlash, but not as good as that show. The April PPV's were all GOOD, but they all lacked and or disappointed in that they looked good but just didn't deliver as they could have. Judgment Day had a pretty sexy card to be honest with you, but it just didn't hit that next gear to make you go, "WOW..THIS IS A GREAT SHOW!" It was a good show in many ways, it wasn't great. But the two Raw matches TANKED, and were supposedly part of the draw, and that really takes away from things.

I will close by saying that, much like Backlash, this show was a few ingredients away from being a great PPV. A Punk win in the opener to sway the crowd, Christian vs. Swagger getting a few more minutes and a slightly better plan and such and the Raw matches not sucking so could have changed the whole show in my opinion, of course that's easy to say after the show. Again, not a bad show at all, but just not great. If you missed it you missed nothing, but if you saw the show, you likely enjoyed some parts of it.

As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale. Also, PPV rankings can and will likely change through out the year:

0 - 0.9: Torture
1 - 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 - 2.9: Very Bad
3 - 3.9: Bad
4 - 4.9: Poor
5 - 5.9: Not So Good
6 - 6.9: Average
7 - 7.9: Good
8 - 8.9: Very Good
9 - 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect

SHOW RATING: 6.5

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2009 PPV Rankings:
-ROH RISING ABOVE {8.0}
-WWE NO WAY OUT {8.0}

-WWE BACKLASH {7.5}
-WWE ROYAL RUMBLE {7.3}
-TNA GENESIS {7.2}
-TNA LOCKDOWN {7.2}
-ROH CAGED COLLISION {7.1}
-WWE WRESTLEMANIA {7.0}

-WWE JUDGMENT DAY {6.5}

-TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS {5.5}

-TNA DESTINATION X {3.5}

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2009 TOP PPV Match Rankings:
-[WWE WRESTLEMANIA] – HBK vs. The Undertaker (*****)

-[ROH RISING ABOVE] - ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Nigel McGuinness © vs. Bryan Danielson (****½)
-[WWE NO WAY OUT] – THE SMACKDOWN ELIMINATION CHAMBER (****½)
-[BACKLASH] – LAST MAN STANDING: Edge vs. John Cena (****½)

-[ROH RISING ABOVE] – I QUIT MATCH: Jimmy Jacobs vs. Austin Aries (****¼)
-[TNA GENESIS] - Kurt Angle defeated Jeff Jarrett (****¼)
-[TNA GENESIS] - X-Division Title Match: Alex Shelley defeated Chris Sabin (****¼)
-[WWE NO WAY OUT] – THE RAW ELIMINATION CHAMBER (****¼)


-[CAGED COLLISION] #1 CONTENDERS MATCH – Tyler Black vs. Jimmy Jacobs vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries (***¾)
-[CAGED COLLISION] ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH – Nigel McGuinness vs. El Generico (***¾)
-[TNA LOCKDOWN] – PHILLY STREET FIGHT: IWGP vs. TNA TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH – Team 3D vs. Beer Money (***¾)
-[TNA DESTINATION X] - X-Division Title Ultimate X Match: Suicide defeated Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal (***¾)
-[WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH (***¾)
-[WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – WWE TITLE MATCH: Edge defeated Jeff Hardy (***¾)
-[WWE WRESTLEMANIA] – MONEY IN THE BANK (***¾)
-[WWE JUDGMENT DAY] – Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (***¾)

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2009 PPV MVP AWARDS:
Not every PPV will have one, it just depends on who I think steps up and deserves some extra recognition.

-[TNA GENESIS] Sabin, Shelley, Angle and Jarrett – Rocking The House
-[ROH RISING ABOVE] – Danielson and McGuinness - Defining the ROH World Title
-[WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – RVD – The Joke Pays Off
-[NO WAY OUT] – EDGE – The Ultimate Opportunist
-[WRESTLEMANIA] – HBK and The Undertaker – Stealing the Show
-[ROH CAGED COLLISION] – Nigel McGuinness – Better Than You Sugar Nuts
-[TNA LOCKDOWN] - Christopher Daniels – Pulling Double Duty
-[BACKLASH] – Edge and John Cena – Stealing the Show

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2009 TOP TV Match Rankings:
I will update as often as needed.

-Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 04.25.09) {****}
-Evan Bourne vs. John Morrison - (ECW: 04.14.09) {****}
-Christian vs. Jack Swagger - (ECW: 02.24.09) {****}
-Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena - (Raw: 01.12.09) {****}

-Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 05.09.09) {***¾}
-Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries – (ROH on HDNet: 04.04.09) {***¾}
-Beer Money vs. Team Canada – (Impact: 02.19.09) {***¾}
-Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles – (Impact: 01.22.09) {***¾}


-Edge vs. Chris Jericho - (Smackdown: 05.15.09) {***½}
-Rey Mysterio vs. Shelton Benjamin - (Superstars: 05.14.09) {***½}
-Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho - (Smackdown: 05.08.09) {***½}
-Edge vs. Kofi Kingston - (Superstars: 04.23.09) {***½}
-John Cena vs. Chris Jericho - (Raw: 04.20.09) {***½}
-Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin - (Smackdown: 04.17.09) {***½}
-Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy - (Smackdown: 04.10.09) {***½}
-Primo vs. The Miz - (ECW: 03.10.09) {***½}
-Edge vs. John Cena - (Raw: 03.02.09) {***½}
-Lethal Consequences vs. Motor City Machine Guns – (Impact: 02.19.09) {***½}
-Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin - (Smackdown: 01.09.09) {***½}

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And I'm out of here!



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