The Custom Made News Report 05.19.09

Posted by Ryan Byers on 05.19.2009

With Jeff Small away for the week, it's time to take a look at Raw from last night, Bobby Lashley's status in TNA, a new WWE PPV on the horizon, the reason that next week's Raw may be canceled, and more!

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen to your favorite infrequent fill-in, the go-to column that gives you something to read when the real stars are out of town . . . the Custom Made News Report! I'm Ryan Byers, and I'm the semi-retired 411 writer who drew the short straw and was thereby forced to replace a vacationing Jeff Small. No, I don't know what's going on in the life of the Great Khali, so you're not getting any updates there. However, I am aware of several other things that are going on in the world of professional wrestling, so let's take a look at all of those!

Ryan's Radical Raw Revue

One of the things that I love about writing news columns on Tuesdays is that the prior evening's episode of Monday Night Raw always provides some easy-to-produce column fodder that will hold most readers' interest. Accordingly, I bring to you my own thoughts on last night's show, mostly written as it happened. The commentary will even be punctuated by exchanges between myself and fellow 411'er Chris Lansdell, who has made it a habit of carrying on conversations with me regarding the show as it runs.

And, hey, we've got a Randy Orton promo to start the show. I bet that the babyfaces come out and that they engage in some witty banner with the heel which results in the main event for tonight and/or a main event for the next pay per view being booked. Yup, there's Flair to do exactly that. I enjoy Raw more weeks than not and don't mean to sound like a "hater," but Christ has this show been formulaic lately. The creative team has gotten incredibly lazy, and, if I see one more handicap match involving various members of Legacy taking on the babyface team du jour, I will scream.

The women's battle royale was exactly what you would expect from a women's battle royale in 2009. It was inoffensive but also nothing that I will remember when I wake up tomorrow morning. Perhaps my favorite part of the match was the massive face pop that Jillian got when she came out of the ring, as she was billed from Louisville, Kentucky, the site of the show. I'm a big Jillian fan, so it's good to see that her hometown fans can see beyond the heel act and appreciate her talents. Highlight number two was Beth's fall from the ring on her elimination, which may have been the most convoluted, cartoonish bump that the world has seen since Curt Hennig died.

Also, props to Maryse for correcting Michael Cole's pronunciation of her name. The dolt has been calling her "Maurice" for far too long. With that said, let's check in with Lansdell!

Chris: So is this the part where Kelly Kelly wins her title match?

Ryan: I'm just trying to figure out whether the match goes on the next PPV and, if so, what kind of "extreme rules" match you would put Maryse and Kelly in to.

Chris: It'll be on a Raw.

Ryan: Way to kill my dream of those two in a landmine barbed wire double hell match.

Chris: My dream involving those two does not include a wrestling ring I'm afraid.

Ryan: So what you're saying is that you've seen Maryse wrestle but that you'd like to see her box.

Chris: I wasn't, but I am now!

Santio versus Chavo was the perfect example of a wrestler going in there with an opponent who he has absolutely NO confidence in. Guerrero was pretty obviously calling the match and not allowing Marella to do a single thing, trying to make the match on his big bumps alone. Frankly, that's not a bad idea on Chavo's part, as Santino is one of the best promos in wrestling but has never been given an opportunity to develop in the ring. Hopefully these two have an opportunity to work together regularly on house shows, because I can see Chavo being able to teach a lot of the "Italian" superstar, almost like Fit Finlay has done with numerous less experienced acts on Smackdown.

Then we had a tag team match. I'll let the MSN transcript handle this one.

Chris: Call me old-fashoined. but I HATE people disrepsecting the belts like Carlito and Primo are doing.

Ryan: Wearing them in a non-waist position?

Chris: Not necessarily. Over the shoulder is fine . . . but draped around your neck or as a bandolier? No thanks.

Ryan: I'm more concerned with how Kendrick and Goldust came to team up.

Chris: Kendrick is hunting for the perfect tag partner

Ryan: Right . . . but why, in his quest, would Kendrick choose as his first pick a guy whose last television exposure was being mauled by Big Show?

Chris: Because when he finally brings up Sheamus O' Shaunnessy it has to be a big shock.

Ryan: Well, I meant in storyline terms.

Chris: Pass.

Ryan: Actually, I think a fun angle would be Kendrick doing a Jackal-esque character and getting Goldust to turn in to a heelish freak. Throw in Horny . . . give us a modern day Oddities.

I never thought that I would be saying this, but here goes: The Miz is officially more entertaining than Johnny Nitro. When WWE first split up the duo, I figured that the company would try to push Miz harder, only for him to completely flop while Nitro surpassed him despite less support from the promotion. However, that's not quite how it worked out. Miz has been pushed just as hard as I thought that he would be, but he's actually made it work and comes off like a major star. Nitro, meanwhile, has underperformed if he's done anything. I find myself looking forward to the Miz's segments every week, while I find myself being fairly bored by Nitro's matches which, though full of athletic spots, seem to have no real drama or compelling characters associated with them.

Ryan: What if Big Show and Miz did an angle in which they became lovers?

Chris: WOW. Seek help. Especially if Show is the pitcher and Miz the catch . . . NO! Dammit now you have it in my head!

Ryan: That's a different kind of submission match.

In another note on the Miz/Show/King segment, it unveiled a bit of inconsistency in the WWE create team's thought process. In the opening segment, Randy Orton talked about the fact that he performed his soccer kick on Ric Flair during the summer of 2007 as though this were common knowledge. I was watching every program that WWE put out during that period, and I cannot remember this ever happening for the life of me. Meanwhile, the company is also running a storyline in which John Cena is supposed to be incapable of putting the Big Show in to the STF because of his size. This is despite the fact that, at the 2007 version of Judgment Day, Cena beat the Great Khali – who is even larger than Show – by submission with the STF. It's odd that the promotion thinks that we would remember one minor angle from the summer of 2007 and simultaneously expects that we have forgotten the finish to a pay per view main event from the exact same period.

Regarding the evening's comedic exploits with Santina:

Chris: HE HAS TOILET PAPER ON HIS SHAVING CUTS!!!

Ryan: Now THAT'S a Hidden Highlight.

Chris: That man is golden.

Ryan: We'll see if the face turn takes any edge off . . . I'd say he's fine so far.

Chris: His animal noises are a tad disturbing though.

Ryan: I just don't like the announcers putting over the fact that he's funny. It makes the humor feel much less organic, and, as a result, it's not nearly as effective.

Chris: YOU VILL LAUGH VEN VE TELL YOU!

Chris: The combined weight of Vickie and Santina may be more than LonDrick

Ryan: Oh, definitely. Especially when you consider the fact that London would probably no-show the weigh in.

I'd love to comment on the main event. Really, I would. However, it felt like the exact same main event that I've watched on every Raw since Wrestlemania. I like the majority of the guys who were involved in the match as performers, but the company desperately needs to shake things up so that their matches feel fresh. Presumably that was supposed to have been the role of the draft, but none of the major players on Raw were moved anywhere (technically Triple H was, but he'd been on every Raw since the start of the year anyway) and nobody who came over from Smackdown was elevated, meaning that we've been watching the same stale mix for quite some time now.

Overall, the show as a mixed bag. I like the fact that there were some midcard angles like Santio versus William Regal and Kendrick versus the Colons developing as opposed to the entire show focusing on the main event scene. Yet, at the same time, that main event scene is hurting . . . BADLY. Given that the WWE edict as of late has been that the brand split is supposed to be held firmly in place, I don't know what Raw can do in order to actually create new matches aside from moving talent up the card, and they've made it clear with their recent handling of MVP, DiBiase, and Rhodes that they have absolutely no intention of doing that. Perhaps its time for some bloodletting in the creative department. That seems to be the only thing which can freshen up this program.

All the Stuff from Stamford

Remember When "Nugget" Was an Insult in Wrestling Circles? It's Coming Back.

In a story that has hit all of the major wrestling news sites over the last twenty-four hours, next week's Monday Night Raw taping has been bumped from the Pepsi Center in Denver, Colorado, due to the NBA playoffs. What had long been one of basketballs lowliest franchises, the Denver Nuggets, had an unexpectedly successful season and now finds itself locked in to a playoff battle with the Los Angeles Lakers. This has spelled trouble for World Wrestling Entertainment, as the Nuggets have a home playoff game scheduled for May 25, right on top of a previously scheduled episode of Raw.


McMahon to Nuggets: Stand Back

What is WWE doing about it? Well, so far, not much . . . at least not much that is actually productive. The company in its press release on the situation claimed that they were "at an impasse in resolving a scheduling debacle by the team and the Pepsi Center." Vince McMahon, ever the professional, took the opportunity to get in a not-so-subtle jab at the management of the latest company to put a bee in his bonnet, stating, "obviously Nuggets and Pepsi Center owner Stan Kroenke did not have enough faith in his own team to hold the May 25th date for a potential playoff game." He repeated virtually the same schtick in an interview with ESPN on Monday evening and also had Jerry Lawler deliver a brief derogatory line about Kroenke on last night's installment of Monday Night Raw.

(As an aside, how would Vinnie Mac have felt if, in 1991, somebody directed the line "obviously WWF head honcho Vince McMahon did not have enough faith in his own promotion to hold the LA Memorial Coliseum as the location for Wrestlemania VII" at him?)

One has to wonder what the purpose of WWE's insult-laden press release was. On one hand, I can see the company's though process. After all, the Pepsi Center was expected to sell out for Raw and did have good advance ticket sales. There are going to be a lot of WWE fans who are rather annoyed with the situation, particularly if they do not get an immediate refund or if it is not made clear within the next few days what will become of their tickets. WWE's thought may have been that, in order to deflect any ill-will which aimed towards them, they should publically distance themselves from the booking snafu so that their devoted fans direct their venom towards the basketball franchise and not the grappling company.

Yet, at the same time, there has been much made recently of WWE attempting to remake its public image. The company claims that it is trying to transform itself in to a more respectable business entity, one which major sponsors will not be embarrassed to do business with. Ironically enough, one of the major sponsors that WWE was able to successfully court as a result of this revamped public image was none other than Pepsi, the company which lends its name to the building which is at the heart of this controversy. Sending out a press release which is little more than a public tantrum the second that the company does not get its way seems counterproductive to the ultimate goal of bringing more a-level advertisers on board.

Of course, the press release is already out of the bag, so, to a certain extent, discussing whether it was prudent is a moot point. WWE still needs to figure out exactly what it is doing about the lack of a venue for next week's Raw and how to appease the fans who are not getting the show that they were promised. Finding some arena, ANY arena to host the television taping should be the top priority here, even if WWE has to take a short-term financial hit in order to do so. Having to run a pre-taped show or anything else that departs from the traditional Raw format is the worst case scenario, because it essentially eliminates a fresh week of build that can be done for the company's next pay per view event and would also cut down on the amount of original content that can be produced for the new WWE Superstars program on WGN. Additionally, there is no doubt that a pre-taped show would deliver a significantly weaker television rating than the company's standard fare. Even if the building selected is smaller than usual, more expensive than usual, or in a non-traditional market, the company should book something as soon as humanly possible so that they have time left to do local promotion of the event and ensure that there is actually a crowd to put in front of their television cameras.

As far as the Denver fans are concerned, hopefully they are more understanding than not. It would be a shame for WWE's goodwill to be negatively impacted by something that is honestly not their fault. Yet, whether they are at fault or not, WWE needs to do something to appease those ticketholders who feel slighted. The best option would probably be honoring tickets for a future television taping at the Pepsi Center, but who knows how long it will take for McMahon and company to do business with the Center again after this incident.

And that is perhaps the saddest part of the story. WWE is a company which is capable of holding a grudge for the short term, even if they do ultimately wind up forgiving those people who can make them money. (See Hogan, Hulk . . . numerous times.) Yet, if ill will exists between McMahon and Kroenke for even a few years, Rocky Mountain wrestling fans will miss out on many opportunities to see their favorite pseudo-sport live.

I Will Not Say Those Words You Twit, I Will Not, Cannot Say "I Quit!"

According to FigureFourOnline.com, WWE recently tipped its hand regarding upcoming pay per view events thanks to an online survey. The poll apparently asked fans to select from one of four potential names for a pay per view event in which all matches would be submission matches. The options, though they are not the important part of the story, were Submission Sunday, Submit & Quit, Breaking Point, and Total Submission. (The correct answer in the poll, by the way, is "Breaking Point," as it's a clever allusion to the show's concept instead of a reference so blatant that a lobotomy patient would immediately get it. Also, in a weird bit of trivia, it's the name of the band that did Rob Van Dam's "One of a Kind" theme music.)

This idea gets a thumbs up from yours truly. I have long felt that, with so many pay per view offerings from WWE these days, more shows should have "gimmicks" in order to help them stand out from the pack. I'm completely in favor of No Way Out being the PPV associated with the Elimination Chamber, with the Royal Rumble continuing to be the selling point of the company's January show, and with Extreme Rules being the all gimmick match card. Heck, if I had ultimate power over WWE, I would probably take things a step further by bringing the King of the Ring tournament back to pay per view, and I would DEFINITELY make sure that 90% of the Survivor Series card was comprised of five-on-five elimination matches. The Lethal Lottery and Battle Bowl would even be a welcome addition if the company is willing to revisit concepts from WCW. The more non-standard pay per views you have and the more non-standard matches you are capable of offering, the longer feuds can be drawn out and the more mileage that the company can get out of its stars before having to cycle them down cards in favor of newer, hotter talent.

I find it interesting that WWE has decided to focus on submission matches, though. My use of the word "interesting" should not be taken to mean that I do not think the concept is a good one, however. Yet, it is certainly an odd choice for a company that, if anything, has de-emphasized the use of submission finishes over the last several years. Though John Cena's STF and the Undertaker's gogoplata are notable exceptions, the submission finish is a rare one in 2009. Even wrestlers who formerly used submission holds to take care of their opponents, such as William Regal, Chris Jericho, and Edge have largely tossed them aside.

Why, then, is the company considering a submission-only concept? The only thing that I can think of is that WWE, in a rare move, is acknowledging one of the popular aspects of its chief pay per view competitor UFC and attempting to integrate it in to the professional wrestling product. There are many pro wrestling fans who have "crossed over" to watching mixed martial arts, and, as a result, there are now several fans who are educated to understand the intricacies of legitimate submission holds. With that groundwork being laid, placing more submissions in to pro wrestling makes perfect sense. It is an opportunity to give fans finishes that they will buy as potential killers without putting much of an actual physical strain on the wrestlers. Though it is not a lock, this certainly could help to redefine that which we have come to know as WWE Main Event Style.

Random Video Interlude

Three weeks ago, I went to the latest DVD taping for SHIMMER: Women Athletes. (Report here.) This week's Random Video Interlude features the highlight reel which was played for the live audience to kick off the weekend of women's wrestling action, courtesy of Nykk.



If you like what you see, be sure to check out SHIMMERwrestling.com for all of the information on the promotion. To purchase SHIMMER DVDs, visit ROHwrestling.com.

To view videos that have appeared in previous editions of the Custom Made News Report, be sure to check out my new YouTube page.

The Word from Dixieland

Lashley's Contract Woes Continue

Hey, remember when Bobby Lashley showed up at the end of a TNA pay per view and pointed at some people in the ring? Hey, remember when Bobby Lashley showed up on a couple of episodes of Impact and did the exact same thing? That was quite scintillating, compelling television, wasn't it? I sure thought so.

Sadly, those days may be over. According to the Wrestling Observer Newsletter, TNA may be done booking Lashley to stand around and do nothing, at least for the short term. After already giving him a handful of television appearances, the Jarrett-lead promotion suddenly decided that they should not be putting Lashley on television anymore until he signed a regular contract with them. Bobby, for whatever reason, has not come to terms with the promotion. There is no guarantee that he will. So, it appears that TNA may have started up an angle prematurely, only to have to 86 the entire storyline when something that they thought was a lock fell through for reasons which were entirely foreseeable. Essentially, the promotion was caught with its pants down, looking a bit foolish as a result.

The strangest thing about the situation is that this is a lesson which the promotion already should have learned. In 2003, TNA entered in to negotiations with Hulk Hogan regarding getting the Hulkster on board for its first Bound for Glory event. Before final terms had been agreed upon, TNA recorded promotional material involving Hogan and also shot an angle with him in Japan in which Jeff Jarrett wacked the Immortal One with a guitar. Yet, despite all of the hype that Hulk got from the company, he ultimately decided that he didn't want to come in (claiming a knee injury) and left TNA out in the cold. On a much smaller scale, Shannon Moore was brought in to the company in 2005 for an angle with AJ Styles, wrestling without a contract the whole while and leaving the company to return to WWE before the storyline had a proper finish.

Despite having these things happen, TNA did the exact same thing with Lashley, winding up in the exact same position. If anything, the company is actually in a worse position with Lashley than they were with the Hulkster. At least in Hogan's case, they got the clip of Jeff Jarrett leaving him laying which can now be used in every Double J hype video from now until the end of time. The only thing that TNA has gained from Lashley is an ending to a pay per view event which will make absolutely no sense to fans when they are going back and watching it several years from now on DVD.

I do hope that TNA and Lashley can come to terms. With the majority of the company's main event scene being dominated by past-their-prime legends like Sting, Mick Foley, Kevin Nash, and Kurt Angle, Lashley could be a breath of fresh air given that he is a younger, more athletic performer that TNA will actually book at the top of the cards due to his relatively recent WWE television exposure. He would be exactly what TNA and WWE both need right now: something new and something different.

TNA Gets Desperate

When TNA announced that it would be running the Palace of Auburn Hills just outside Detroit, Michigan for its seventh Slammiversary pay per view, I was confused. The company has not exactly done the greatest live gates when it leaves its Orlando home to shoot PPVs, and the Palace is a significantly larger venue than the company has ever run before. My immediate thought was that this building is going to be frighteningly empty when it comes time for the show. However, a recent TNA press release sheds some light on the method behind the promotion's madness. Apparently, the company is attempting to stuff the Palace full of wrestling fans by offering numerous tickets to the show for only $7.00.

Will the strategy work? Frankly, I doubt it. People who attend live events generally don't go simply because they're getting a bargain. People who attend live events generally attend because the live event is something that gets them excited, something that they want to see. That's why UFC cards, even during a stagnant economy with many fans strapped for cash, are attracting thousands of attendees with ticket prices that are priced significantly higher than $7.00. It's also why TNA, even when papering its recent pay per views on the road, hasn't managed to draw large crowds. If the company wants to fill up a building the size of the Palace at Auburn Hills, they need to focus on making their product appealing to a broader base of fans, not on turning their shows in to a bargain basement deal.

Unfortunately, they've already booked the arena and have started to promote it, even though all of the company's other business indicators seem to lead to the conclusion that they just don't have enough buzz to get the building packed.

Linking In & Wrapping Up

And that will do it for this latest edition of the Custom Made News Report. Jeff Small should be back next week, and here are some articles that you can take a look at which you wait for his return:

~ I voted for Shingo Takagi. Go yell at me in our Wrestler of the Week column.

~ This weekend's Buy or Sell featured questions written by a studly young man.

~ Kevin Ford reviews CHIKARA. More people need to do that.

~ Given the time of the year, I did ask myself whether this column should include some nod to the ten year anniversary of the death of Owen Hart. Ultimately I decided not to do it, as Michael Weyer already did a fine job.

That does it. Oh, and, um, whammy.