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The Shimmy 06.15.09: The John Cena Report Card (Part Four)
Posted by Andy Clark on 06.15.2009



Welcome back to The Shimmy, boys and girls. We're almost caught up to the present with John Cena's PPV matches (although given recent events I'm not so sure that's a good thing). Thus far we've had some pretty favorable results. Did Cena's streak of good matches carry over to 2008? Let's find out.

2008 Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble 2008)

It's kind of the cool thing to say now that you expected Cena to return at the Rumble and win, but hopefully people are honest and recognize that Cena's return as No. 30 in the Rumble came completely out of the blue. His shocking return, which clearly took both the announcers and the audience in Madison Square Garden by surprise, managed to up a Royal Rumble that up to that point had been pretty good and made it legendary. The final five minutes or so of the match are great and the final three-way between Cena, Triple H, and Batista felt pretty special.

My Grade: A+

WWE Title Match: Randy Orton© vs. John Cena (No Way Out 2008)

Cena decided to be unconventional when it came to the title shot he won at the Royal Rumble. Instead of waiting to cash in at WrestleMania he challenged Randy Orton, the guy that kayfabe took him out in the fall, for the title at No Way Out. Perhaps he should have waited. Their No Way Out match was still pretty good but it was a very different kind of match than what they had had in the fall, perhaps because Cena was still getting his feet wet. They played the crowd more instead of going full throttle, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing but definitely a change of pace from their SummerSlam match. The match also included the first use of Randy Orton slapping a referee to get intentionally disqualified, which came off as much more clever here than it did at Judgment Day last month.

My Grade: B+

WWE Title, Triple Threat Match: Randy Orton© vs. Triple H vs. John Cena (WrestleMania XXIV)

This match is a really interesting one to grade. I had a hard time placing it when I did my 2008 end of the year list and I had a hard time grading it. It's nice, but there are so many other factors that play into it (curious booking, Cena being distractingly pale, the lighting fiasco, surprising placement on the card, relatively short runtime) that make it hard to get a good grasp on it. I will say that it was a pretty fun match to call with Gene Okerlund when I was at WrestleMania Axxess, so I guess this match's worth has risen in my eyes a bit because of that. I'd really be willing to change the grade on this if anyone had a good argument for me one way or another.

My Grade: B

WWE Title, No DQ, Fatal Four-Way Elimination Match: Randy Orton© vs. Triple H vs. John Cena vs. JBL (Backlash 2008)

The action in this Fatal Four-Way Elimination Match is solid for a good chunk of time, but unfortunately it comes with one big flaw. The selling point of these multi-man matches is that they are indeed multi-man matches. Even in the rare elimination format these should focus on telling the story of it being a four man match, then a three man, and then finally the one-on-one finale. This had a pretty good Part One then skipped Part Two entirely to go with an OK Part Three. Cena and JBL were both taken out rapid fire leaving us with a decent but not spectacular finish between Orton and Triple H (with more curious booking as Triple H won, something he should have just done at WrestleMania). Considering the next two months matches between these two and WrestleMania XXV's main event I am beginning to think that their matches at No Mercy 2007 were aberrations in terms of quality.

My Grade: B-

John Cena vs. JBL (Judgment Day 2008)

And now the feud that would seemingly never end in 2008. On the bright side this feud seems a lot more tolerable now that we've been subjugated to the dreadful Cena-Big Show feud. I suppose considering their WrestleMania 21 match then the matches they gave us in the summer of 2008 were an improvement. This match wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either. It was still so bizarre seeing Cena jerk the curtain, but at least he got to win. Unfortunately that wouldn't be enough to put this feud to rest.

My Grade: C

First Blood Match: John Cena vs. JBL (One Night Stand 2008)

First Blood Matches have a tendency to suck anyways, but this one was particularly bad. Seriously, who stops a match when the blood starts? This match was one of the tamest "extreme" matches I've seen, and the finish was incredibly weak and in some ways a bait and switch. If I'm watching a First Blood Match I want to see someone blade at least, not have some fake internal injuries. Again, at least WWE was smart enough to have Cena go over, but then it begs the question why did we get another Cena-JBL match two PPVs later?

My Grade: D+

WWE Title Match: Triple H© vs. John Cena (Night of Champions 2008)

Cena and Triple H had one of my favorite matches at WrestleMania 22, a match that had the crowd as involved in a contest as I've ever seen. I've often cited that match as the day that I really became a John Cena fan. That being said, as great as the match was it was hardly a workrate extravaganza. This go around though and John Cena was a much more seasoned performer and Triple H brought his work boots. Add in the big match feel for big rematch and the previously mentioned pressure for Raw to win a title and you had the ingredients for a fantastic match. The great thing about the "Raw has no World Title" scenario is that it made Triple H winning to tie up the series at one apiece seem less like a sure thing. That ultimately made the finish even more rewarding and a nice capper to a great match. I maintain that the rubber match should have been the main event of this year's WrestleMania, maybe even as a champion vs. champion showdown.

My Grade: A

Parking Lot Brawl: John Cena vs. JBL (The Great American Bash 2008)

This match is a pretty polarizing one for most people (although you'll notice I graded it pretty much in the middle because I can do stuff like that in my own column). Daniel Wilcox had it in his Top 25 Matches of the Year. I didn't even include it in my Top 50 WWE Matches of the Year. Some of the action and brawling was well done as both men excel in that environment. The finishing spot with Cena hitting the car windshield was pretty cool. Then there were some spots like Cena no-selling being inside a flaming car that were downright ridiculous. It was interesting because it did sort of have a historical feel like it might be a match that both men would continue to reference when going over their histories, but it wasn't really a classic deserving of that spot.

My Grade: C+

John Cena vs. Batista (SummerSlam 2008)

This was billed as a clash of titans and that's what we got. Those of you that criticize this match for only being finishes are, well, delusional. I rewatched this match on WWE 24/7 not too long ago and there was indeed a match preceding the finish, contrary to popular belief. And quite frankly even if there weren't the finish was so hot that that alone would have propelled this match to a good rating. This was a great duel between two of the biggest stars in WWE and it lived up to the hype. This could have main evented just about any other PPV that didn't have a Hell in a Cell Match on it. It's a shame we weren't able to see the rematch on a bigger stage at WrestleMania as was supposedly the original plan for this year's main event.

My Grade: A-

It's shortly after this match that Cena went out with an injury once again. Next week we'll look at his return at Survivor Series up through the Extreme Rules PPV from a few weeks ago.

The Shimmy Likes it Raw!

What's on tap for tonight's big three-hour show?

  • I will be there LIVE, in house for "The 3-For-All." This will be my first WWE show in Charlotte (been to the infamous UWF-TNA house show where Larry hit on my girlfriend) so I'm interested to see how the crowd is.

  • WWE Title, Fatal Four-Way Match [vacant]: Triple H vs. Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. Big Show; So not only does Orton not get the title by forfeit last week, but MVP's appeal to be involved in the title hunt is denied. Could be a fun match despite the fact that I'm picking Big Show to win, setting up a Triple Threat with Cena and The Miz at The Bash.

  • World Heavyweight Title, Triple Threat Match: CM Punk© vs. Edge vs. Jeff Hardy; I'm super stoked about this match as it should be awesome. I definitely wouldn't expect a title change but I look forward to a PPV caliber match. Hell, it was rumored that this match would be the SmackDown main event for the PPV so that adds even more expectation to it.

  • ECW Title Match: Tommy Dreamer© vs. Christian; I'd imagine the winner of this match would face Jack Swagger at The Bash. Not sure how over Dreamer will be in North Carolina, but these two have had two really good one-on-one matches already so I expect this one to be good as well.

  • Who is the new Raw GM? While it's not definite that we'll find out tonight, considering the show is in Charlotte the job good be filled by someone that has some experience in that role. Who knows, but hopefully the new GM will be treated nicer than the old one.

  • This is the point in the column where I wish my lovely girlfriend Dani a happy birthday. I love you, baby! (Don't worry, folks, it's in a few days, I'm not making her go to a wrestling show on her birthday).

    Well that does it for this week. I'll see everybody back here for the conclusion of the John Cena Report Card next week. Until then, don't die. Clark…out.


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    Comments (10)

     
    Wasn't Survivor Series, and also Armageddon in 2008?


    If so, why aren't they on here?


    Posted By: HA! (Guest)  on June 15, 2009 at 12:12 AM

     
     
    Great question, HA!

    I figured I would wait until next week to cover those two, using Cena's injury as a break.


    Posted By: Master of the Dagger (Registered)  on June 15, 2009 at 12:24 AM

     
     
    I think this is a fairly accurate accounting of Cena's 2008 PPV matches. Although I have two points I'd like to make.

    First of all, the Royal Rumble. I'm sorry. I don't care how good the final sequence was. Cena was in the match for eight and a half minutes. EIGHT AND A HALF MINUTES. You have do something that is all kinds of amazing to earn an A+ for eight and a half minutes. Cena had a good little sequence with Hunter but anything higher than maybe a B seems really generous.

    This brings me to Summerslam. For the life of me I don't get the love people have for that match. The vast majority of said match was basically just Dave and Cena hitting their signature moves, kicking out, resting and then repeating. There wasn't really any method to their madness. It felt like it was booked so fans could see Batista kick out of an FU and Cena kick out of a sitout powerbomb.

    It's not inherently bad to show off such feats but when that's all you're going for it seems a tad hallow. The match was serviceable and it was a nice first taste of a Cena/Batista match but that's all it was for me. A territory is again very generous.

    Call me delusional if you want (well, based on the article you already did) but I just don't buy it. It wasn't a bad match. Again, I'd say a solid B or so. As good old Mushmouth says, "It was all sizzle and no steak." I think that's what he says. I can't understand him with all the Palsy.

    Good article overall though. It's nice to see a Cena fan that isn't a crazy Cena apologist.


    Posted By: Ron Mexico (Guest)  on June 15, 2009 at 01:19 AM

     
     
    Alright, that makes sense. I'll be looking forward to next week's column then.

    Posted By: HA! (Guest)  on June 15, 2009 at 01:33 AM

     
     
    JBL/Cena from Bash was the dumbest match of the year. How could any legit reviewer give that match a C+?

    Posted By: ST (Guest)  on June 15, 2009 at 05:13 AM

     
     
    I liked the Backlash multi-man match waaay more than at Wrestlemania. But neither of them were truly about Cena. But the Wrestlemania Triple Threat Match came across as a little disappointing in my opinion, its primary draw (to me) was that Orton pulled off a shock win. I was never a bi fan of any of the 3 guys but I thought maybe they could pull of something epic at Wrestlemania.

    Posted By: Sev (Guest)  on June 15, 2009 at 07:07 AM

     
     
    Personally i thought The match they had at Night of Champions was vastly superior to the one they had at Wrestlemania.

    Posted By: Sev (Guest)  on June 15, 2009 at 07:18 AM

     
     
    Ron Mexico, in reference to the rumble being A+, surely you realise that the overall match gets graded, not just cena's appearance lol. Igt got an A+ because it was a damn good memorable rumble match.

    Posted By: Rorster1986 (Guest)  on June 15, 2009 at 09:49 AM

     
     
    So going through the matches:

    Big moment, lacking performance

    Orton looks weak

    Hunter's politics strike again

    disappointing 4-way

    2 lousy JBL matches

    HHH vs Cena again

    JBL again

    Batista/Cena - quality disputed

    So Orton was put over but not really. Hunter was in the main event. Cena alternated between main eventing and running the treadmill.

    Notice how this could just as easily describe 2009? And that's why Raw is boring.


    Posted By: Shockmaster (Guest)  on June 15, 2009 at 05:20 PM

     
     
    Andy "Dick" Clark please take the John Cena stained poster down from your ceiling. NASA said they could see it from space with a black light.

    Posted By: Ron Germany (Guest)  on June 16, 2009 at 07:23 PM

     


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