The Wrestling News Experience: 06.22.09
Posted by Stephen Randle on 06.22.2009
We've got Slammiversary results, a preview of tonight's Trump-owned, commercial-free Raw, lots of WWE legal trouble, even more new PPV names, and Mick Foley still owes me a book!
Monday, June 22nd, 2009
From 411Mania's Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!
Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience, I am Stephen Randle, and if you really needed another indication of which brand of WWE is superior, look no further. Given the choice of the live Raw on September 14th in the Center of the Universe, at the state-of-the-art Air Canada Center, or attending the ECW/Smackdown tapings on September 15th in the future home of whatever NHL team they give Balsillie so he'll leave them alone, already, at the admittedly run-down and ancient Copps Coliseum, which event do you think I purchased 10th row lower bowl seats right across from the hard camera for? Don't worry, I'll cushion the disappointment of not being on live TV with fun signs that are sure to enrage my enemies (of which there are many) and embarrass my accompanying fiancée.
On another note, sunburns suck, but spending the afternoon in a pool was totally worth it.
Suicide won a King of the Mountain match involving Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, and Consequences Creed to retain the TNA X Division Title
Daniels defeated Shane Douglas
This whole feud seemed pointless but harmless, at least as long as Douglas wanders back out into the sunset as promised.
Angelina Love defeated Tara to retain the TNA Knockouts Title (pinfall, Lights Out)
Abyss and Taylor Wilde defeated Raven and Daffney in a Monster's Ball match (Abyss pinned Raven, Black Hole Slam on tacks)
Sting defeated Matt Morgan (pinfall, 2nd rope Scorpion Deathdrop)
You know, I'm still not sure why Morgan even got a shot at being part of the MEM. Who has he beaten besides Abyss?
Beer Money, Inc. defeated Team 3D to win the TNA Tag Team Titles (Storm pinned Devon, DWI)
Kurt Angle won a King of the Mountain match involving Mick Foley, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett to win the TNA World Title
Okay, normally I'd jump up and yell about the finish, which had Joe preventing AJ from winning the match, then handing the belt to Angle so he could claim the title, and I still may, but there is a situation where this makes sense. First of all, it resurrects conflict in the Mafia, with the roles between Sting and Angle reversed, and any instability in his enemies is good for Joe. Plus, now that Angle is champion, Joe can declare that he did it so he can truly take away everything from Angle by beating him for the title. Of course, if this just ends up as a "shocking swerve" against AJ and results in Joe being part of the Mafia, then we'll hear some anger.
Buddy?
Buddy Is Just Happy That Mick Foley Isn't Champion
Quiet, Buddy! He'll hear you!
What's On Tap - WWE Raw, presented by Donald Trump, for June 22nd
Yes, last week, it was revealed, in a development that didn't shatter the boundaries of reality in any way at all, that Vince McMahon had sold his prized flagship of WWE to billionaire Donald Trump. Trump was quick to step into his new role, decreeing that tonight's Raw will be presented completely commercial-free.
In addition, once Triple H "shockingly" won a 10-man battle royal to face new WWE Champion Randy Orton, Trump announced that the match will take place tonight, in a Last Man Standing match. The last time these two met under Last Man Standing rules, Orton suffered a broken collarbone and was out of action for several months, losing his WWE title in the process. Will history repeat itself tonight?
Plus, Vince McMahon has promised to deliver his final farewell address before leaving Raw. What will Mr. McMahon have to say before walking away from a major part of his creation for good?
And all three rosters will again be present tonight, so truly anything can happen, as tonight's Raw comes to you live and commercial free, starting at 9 pm!
The Wrestling Threatdown
5. SoBe
Seriously, energy drinks are the greatest scam perpetrated on the public since bottled water. I mean, who doesn't want to drink giant cans of stuff that has all the sugar and caffeine of soda pop, with the added benefit of tasting like cough syrup? Growing up, if I wanted an extra energy fix that Coke couldn't handle, you know what we had? Jolt Cola, baby! Cola with twice the caffeine, and it only cost 50 cents a can, too!
Wait, what? We're not talking about those drinks with the lizard on them? There's another SoBe? But…I had such a good rant going!
So it seems that SoBe Entertainment had a contract with The Big Show, back when he was "retired" from WWE and thinking about becoming a boxer. But then, shockingly, he went back to WWE and suddenly decided that any contracts he may have made are no longer his problem. SoBe, unsurprisingly, disagrees, and is taking Show, his wife, and WWE to court over money and promotional opportunities they feel they lost when Show gave up on his future as the next Mike Tyson (presumably without the rape, ear-biting, and loud-mouthed manager, but one never knows. After all, Jimmy Hart has a lot of free time).
Bottom line, if Show actually did sign some form of ironclad contract, he's pretty much up a creek filled with fecal matter and unable to procure any form of propulsion, and even the WWE legal eagles probably won't get him out without some form of reparations to SoBe. Then again, maybe they can work out a way to get some free lizard drinks out of the deal.
Wait, what?
4. WWE Synonym For End of The World, on PPV!
It seems that, on the heels of the newly named WWE Breaking Point PPV (hey, a submission-themed WWE PPV taking place in Montreal, that can only be a good idea…), WWE is looking to rename and restructure some more PPVs. While it's unknown what the entirety of their plans are, WWE has sent out another e-mail to the WWE Universe, asking their opinions on two different new names.
First, we have some general, non-themed offerings:
- Knock Out - and you thought it couldn't get more generic than "The Bash"
- Blackout - so…the matches will take place in the dark? I can see the reviews now…"Jericho-Edge sounded like about ***1/2"
- Annihilation - because Mortal Kombat didn't kill that name forever!
- Zero Tolerance - sponsored, I assume, by MADD
And then, because we haven't killed every gimmick match yet, these are the ideas for a PPV where the main events will take place inside…Hell in a Cell:
- Rage in a Cage - wow, I bet they spent ten whole seconds brainstorming these names
- Hell in a Cell - er…five seconds. Tops.
- No Escape
- Lock Up
Crappy names aside, I'm coming out right now as not being in favour of a Hell in a Cell-themed PPV. The HitC gimmick is the one match that WWE has conditioned everyone to believe is a brutal, final, feud-ending match that takes place between two Superstars who have a serious blood feud that no other structure can contain. It's a match that occurs rarely, once a year at most, and has resulted in a number of Match of the Year candidates (we'll pretend Undertaker-Bossman never happened, because God knows WWE does). Basically, I'm saying that I'd rather have a Hell in a Cell match occur as part of a natural feud progression, and not because "oh, it's time for the annual Hell in a Cell PPV, therefore the title match must be inside Hell in a Cell".
3. Body By Brisco
Unfortunate news this week, as WWE Hall of Famer and top man in the WWE hierarchy Gerald Brisco was recently hospitalized with what has been reported by Jim Ross as "three strokes…a hole in his heart, and a faulty heart valve". Brisco is set for heart surgery today, and the thoughts and prayers of all of us here at the Experience go with Jerry and his family and friends, as well as best wishes for a swift and full recovery.
And now, for your enjoyment, I present for you, the greatest moment of Gerald Brisco's wrestling career:
I think the whispering announce team just clinches it.
2. Mick Foley vs 411 Commenters, Part II
Yes, for those of you waiting for the epic conclusion to the Hardcore Legend's feud with the readers of 411, here is the latest from Mick's blog:
I've been reading some of the 411 comments
Yes, I have been reading some of the 411 comments, and really have found most of them to be very interesting. One of the people left the comment that I shouldn't judge every person who comments on the site based on the reactions of a few people. You know, that person is right, and in truth, I was probably guilty of doing just that. I know I'm just getting around to using a computer now, but I remember back when I was a huge fan, laying in wait for the new copy of "Wrestling Eye" to come out, just to get some "real" wrestling news. Even though I don't go on the wrestling sites very often, I will often ask JB what people on them are saying.
I probably wasn't clear enough when I asked for a little more information about the people on 411. Really, I wanted those handful of people making it clear they wouldn't be asking Santa for the new Mick Foley book to respond. But alot of people responded, and I did find the imformation to be very useful. I didn't look at every comment, as there were so many there, but I think just about anyone can see that the very critical comments TEND (note I said TEND) to be not as well thought out or as well written as the others.
As far as the new book goes, and whether or not four is at least one to many. Well, I guess if someone feels that way, it is. If they don't, it isn't. There was one really interesting comment about how the "Hardcore Diaries" seemed forced; that the diary format hid the fact that I didn't really have that much to talk about. I disagree - I really like the book, and am glad I wrote it. I doubt you will ever see a book that critical of the company written by someone still working for them. I don't want to kill any enthusiasm for the new book, but those looking for me to blast WWE will likely be dissapointed. My feelings for the company, and for Vince himself, are largely positive, even if I am very happy not to be there anymore.
Readers who thought I veered too far from wrestling in the last book will likey feel the same way about this one, though I'm thinking about adding a helpful "wrestleometer" at the start of every chapter, just in case they want to take a pass on one of my non-wrestling chapters. But looking back on "Hardcore Diaries", my favorite chapters are the ones dealing with kids I've met along the way. So that one guy who has heard enough stories about me helping younsters to last him a lifetime might want to skip this book completely.
As far as the one guy who referred to me as "whoring himself out" by writing another book? Well, let me see. I've got the Oxford American Dictionary here, and while they do have definitions for "whoring", "himself" and "out", the phrase as a whole leaves itself open for interpretation. But my personal interpretation would be along the lines of "doing something one isn't proud of or emotianally invested in simply for money". I have to say, I think that person's comment was a little off base here. I actually enjoy the writing process (at least most of the time) and have been proud of, and emotionally invested in everything I've ever written. Now I don't want to further put off the guy who doesn't need any more stories of me helping kids, but I have already pledged 50% of all my proceeds to charity. So, take away that 50%, deduct agents and managers fees, and state and federal income taxes, and there's not a real good chance of making a financial killing on this one.
Will this book, my fourth, be as absorbing as Brett Hart's autobiography? Probably not. Will it be as fun as Jericho's "A Lion's Tale", an incredible action-adventure coming of age story? I doubt it. But for people who like my style of telling stories, are interested in my ongoing adventures, and want a slightly differest perspective on the trials and tribulations of life inside the wonderful world of wrestling...you could do a whole lot worse.
Hey, the guy who wrote three autobiographies and two novels came up with a lengthy and well-written response. Didn't see that coming.
More importantly, there was absolutely nothing in that response about when he'll be sending me my free copy of his fourth autobiography. Don't toy with me, Mick! You don't want to end up On Notice! I'll do it! It'll break my heart, but the On Notice board is a trusted responsibility!
I will also accept, in lieu of the book, help getting my own novel published. Once I finish writing it. So you have some time.
1. The SEC won't let WWE be
Well, if WWE was looking for the sale of Raw to Donald Trump to spike ratings, perhaps they should think again, as it seems that a public announcement of the storyline sale by USA Network resulted in a 7% drop in WWE's stock price. And where there's a chance to stir the pot, there is, of course, the good people at Fox News, who immediately ran an article (found here) where they suggested that WWE, Trump, and USA Network could be in trouble with the SEC for running the announcement in, get this, an attempt to manipulate the stock price. Given that the stock went down, I would say that even if it were true, the master plan would be an epic failure. More importantly, when the hell did the rest of the world start paying attention to pro wrestling, and even crazier, believing that anything said on Monday Night Raw has any bearing on reality outside the television show? Is pro wrestling still real to Fox News, dammit?
Insanity aside for the moment, this has certainly been a banner year for WWE affecting mainstream activities. First, admitting that he was thinking of appearing at WrestleMania to help promote his award-winning movie about the life of a pro wrestler may have cost Mickey Rourke an Academy Award because the voters didn't want his wrestling movie associated with wrestling, and now WWE's major summer storyline caused a drop in the stock price (so…bad writing does affect the value of the product…who knew) and may have caused government agencies to think about investigating WWE over the financial reverberations of something that was scripted for their television show! And people think that wrestling fans are crazy.
The Injury Bug Bites
Inactive List as of 06.15.09
WWE Raw, presented by Donald Trump
- Batista, RAW, out 4 months as of June 9th (biceps)
WWE SmackDown
- Candice Michelle, out 6-8 weeks as of March 8th (ankle)
- The Undertaker, SD!, out indefinitely as of May 2009 (hip/knee)
ECW
- No reported injuries
TNA
- Christy Hemme, out indefinitely as of January 10th (neck surgery)
- Rhaka Khan, TNA, out sixty days as of April 30th (suspension)
Transactions
- Candice Michelle, SD!, released from her contract
- Donald Trump, revealed as new owner of the Raw franchise
- Dos Caras, Jr, signed to a WWE contract
For real this time! Probably. Seriously, this guy had better be worth all the "will he, won't he" crap we've been going through
- Rhaka Khan, TNA, returned to action on house shows
- Sim Snuka, RAW, released from his contract
Who's Holding Gold
WWE
**NEW** WWE Champion: Randy Orton
- 7 day reign, defeated John Cena, Triple H, and The Big Show in a Fatal Four-Way for the vacant title on June 15th (Raw)
- Next title defense: vs Triple H, Last Man Standing Match, June 22nd Raw
World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk
- 15 day reign, defeated Jeff Hardy by cashing in Money in the Bank on June 7th (Extreme Rules PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Jeff Hardy, The Bash PPV
ECW Champion: Tommy Dreamer
- 15 day reign, defeated former champion Christian and Jack Swagger in a Triple Threat Match on June 7th (Extreme Rules PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Christian, Jack Swagger, Finlay, and Mark Henry, Scramble Match, The Bash PPV
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Chris Jericho
- 15 day reign, defeated Rey Mysterio in a No Holds Barred Match on June 7th (Extreme Rules PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Rey Mysterio, Title vs Mask match, The Bash PPV
WWE United States Champion: Kofi Kingston
- 22 day reign, defeated MVP on June 1st Raw
WWE Undisputed Tag Team Champions: Carlito and Primo Colon
- 78 day reign (+191 day reign as WWE Tag Team Champions), defeated World Tag Team Champions The Miz and John Morrison in a Tag Team Title Unification Lumberjack Match on April 5th (WrestleMania XXV PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Legacy, The Bash PPV
WWE Women's Champion: Melina
- 148 day reign, defeated Beth Phoenix on January 25th (Royal Rumble PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Michelle McCool, The Bash PPV
WWE Diva's Champion: Maryse
- 186 day reign, defeated Michelle McCool on December 26th (Smackdown)
TNA
**NEW** TNA Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
- 1 day reign, defeated former champion Mick Foley, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett in a King of the Mountain Match on June 21st (Slammiversary PPV)
**NEW** TNA Tag Team Champions: Beer Money, Inc.
- 1 day reign, defeated Team 3D on June 21st (Slammiversary PPV)
TNA X-Division Champion: Suicide
- 104 day reign, defeated former champion Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, and Consequences Creed in an Ultimate X Match on March 15th (Destination X PPV)
TNA Knockouts Champion: Angelina Love
- 64 day reign, defeated former champion Awesome Kong and Taylor Wilde in a Triple Threat Six Sides of Steel Match on April 19th (Lockdown PPV)
TNA Legends Champion: AJ Styles
- 99 day reign, defeated Booker T on March 15th (Destination X PPV)
Links For Fun And Nonprofit
Harrison ("Quite good", am I? At least someone here knows their place) and James have the weekend news reports.
411 will have live coverage of Donald Trump's commercial-free Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT.
Remember, if you love poker, and are in the Kitchener-Cambridge-Waterloo area, check out Player's Poker League.
And for the drunken ramblings of Sean Carless and his merry band of reprobates, check out The Wrestling Fan.
Next, from our promotional department, I've been informed that if you really do like 411Mania and all it provides, or even just me (and really, who doesn't like me), don't forget to bookmark the site in your browser or make 411 your homepage, and tell all your friends about how awesome 411 is.
And don't forget, you can follow all the everyday goings on in 411 on Twitter.
Sting defeated Matt Morgan (pinfall, 2nd rope Scorpion Deathdrop)
You know, I'm still not sure why Morgan even got a shot at being part of the MEM. Who has he beaten besides Abyss?
You must not watch iMPACT. On Thursday, Morgan challenged Sting to a match at Slammiversary. Sting accepted and HE added the stip that if Morgan beat him, he'd take his spot in the Main Event Mafia.
Might wanna watch the show...or check the results sometimes. :-)
Posted By: Guest#4889 (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 01:05 AM
**NEW** TNA Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
- 1 day reign, defeated former champion Mick Foley, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett in a King of the Mountain Match on June 21st (Slammiversary PPV)
---
That was Chavo Guerrero. Don't be fooled by what they tell you.
Posted By: Jeremy from Palmdale (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 01:25 AM
Randle -
Please do something to help me...
I know the out come of this TNA angle with Angle and Joe...
TAZZ had Joe hand the belt to him in an effort to mess with Angle...
Tazz is going to debut and it'll end the whole thing.
Posted By: Guest#3438 (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 01:41 AM
@Stephen Randle
you say about Brisco being ill with a bad heart but the video you showed you could have at least said also Crash Holly -Mike Lockwood - a 22 time Hardcore Champion is already passed !
Posted By: Guest#9393 (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 02:20 AM
Actually, there is a reason to manipulate stock prices downward. If a company wants to buy back stock (or certain people), this makes it cheaper. This stock is known as treasury stock. If there are no plans by the company to sell stock (if they need a cash infusion, for instance), it isn't the worse news. In the long run, prices will presumably resume there natural course.
Posted By: Guest#2511 (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 02:23 AM
TNA X-Division Champion: Suicide
- 104 day reign, defeated former champion Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, and Consequences Creed in an Ultimate X Match on March15th (Destination X PPV)
TNA Legends Champion: AJ Styles
- 99 day reign, defeated Booker T on March 15th (Destination X PPV)
---
Both AJ and suicide won their respective tiles at Destination X. Then how is AJ's reign of 99 days and Suicide's of 104 days?
Posted By: Irfan (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 03:03 AM
Well, now we know where John Cena got his look from...Crash Holly must be pissed in heaven right now!
Posted By: Armitage Shanks (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 03:30 AM
Lockup, huh. Might as well just call it Bound For Vintage.
Posted By: Steve307 (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 08:51 AM
Bottled water is great. I don't know about where you live, but in every single city I've lived in, the water certainly had a noticeable aftertaste. Also, I don't know about you again, but I'm usually not near my water faucet all day to drink water. So the added benefit of bottled water is portability and convenience.
Before all the taxes, and even still, bottled water is one of the absolute healthiest things you can do for yourself. It really amazes me that people don't want to invest in their own health. Maybe that's why Americans have a reputation for obesity, you would never hear an argument against bottled water anywhere else in the world.
As for the SEC, they are useless. I just ignore them completely. They have no real tools to enforce anything, and they are too lazy to research anything either. If you're really interested in anything the SEC could provide, you're way better off dealing with S&P instead. Let them provide you the info the SEC won't.
I don't know what Big Show's contract status was. But if I was Big Show, rather than relying on WWE's crappy legal team, I'd go hire a real attorney. Or I'd just handle it myself, since even pro se Big Show is better than any of the morons in WWE legal. The only lawyers worse than WWE's legal team are all the morons on the internet that think that team is any good and agree with their legal theories. They're awful. Frankly, I think they commit legal malpractice everytime out. I've seen better legal work out of 2Ls.
Posted By: Serp (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 02:17 PM
Burn Notice quote. Nice.
Posted By: Tigerpaw28 (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 02:29 PM
After Slammiversary went off air the entire Main Event Mafia celebrated with Joe. He has joined the mafia, it is that bad, another piss-poor piece of Russo booking. Fucking awful.
Posted By: Guest#7862 (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 02:33 PM
I live in England and I also think bottles water is shit!
I watched a show about male beauty on channel four and they said drinking piss is good for your skin. I just piss in a plastic bottle.
Portability, convenience and you can use it again and again.
Posted By: Scott (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 03:42 PM
Fox News and other news sources received a press release from the WWE that said Trump had purchased Monday Night Raw. This annoucement to the media/press release made the stock price fall, NOT the revelation of Trump's purchase of WWE RAW television.
In other words, the WWE sent out press releases as if the purchase was a FACT, not just kayfabe like many other supposed 'purchases' of promotions from television.
The WWE may not live in a grey area anymore between what is kayfabe and what is legal when it comes to ACTUAL money in the ACTUAL stock market. How far can WWE take the kayfabe of injuries, purchases, etc. without looking like they are duping the regular news organizations? Guess we might find out.....
Posted By: thedick203 (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 04:06 PM
U R ALL DUMZ
Posted By: Dumzbot (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 04:50 PM
"Before all the taxes, and even still, bottled water is one of the absolute healthiest things you can do for yourself. It really amazes me that people don't want to invest in their own health. Maybe that's why Americans have a reputation for obesity, you would never hear an argument against bottled water anywhere else in the world." by Serp.
Bottled water generates garbage. Using reusable containers only makes garbage when they are thrown out. Presumably you are occasionally near tap water.
The rest of the world loves bottled water because their water systems are generally worse than America's, even in Europe.
Check out what the WHO has to say about obesity rates. Reputation is one thing, but Europe has been working on catching up fast.
Posted By: Guest#4455 (Guest) on June 22, 2009 at 05:53 PM
@ Serp
Randle's actually Canadian, not American, and while you Yankees run to your facets to drink water that has been treated to the point that it's hardly even water anymore, we north of the border sip of pristine glacier water, retrieved by the Inuit people and delivered by foot.
It's vastly superior to the garbage that comes from the bottles.
Posted By: Joe Canada (Guest) on June 23, 2009 at 02:53 PM
5. SoBe
