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The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 06.26.09

June 26, 2009 | Posted by John Meehan

Hey folks. Welcome back to the MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks. Normally this is the part of the column where I’d throw in some ill-fated attempt at witty banter in an effort to pad out the space alongside the banner ad located just over to the right. But this week, I thought it’d be fitting to take a quick moment of reflection to pause and remember the lives of Nancy, Daniel, and Chris Benoit, who died two years ago this week in what is surely the single most tragic chapter in the history of professional wrestling.

Hard, sad, and strange to believe that it was two years ago this week when the news first broke. And regardless of how you feel now or how you may have felt then, I think it’s fair to say that the tragic events of this week in June 2007 most certainly affected each of our lives as wrestling fans in a very profound way.

That’s all I’ll say on the matter for now. For those of you still angry, I can’t blame you. For those who are nostalgic, I hope you can appreciate that others may not yet (or perhaps ever) share your sensibilities. Regardless, I hope you’ll take at least a brief moment of your day to remember and reflect on the lives lost in Atlanta in such a senseless and staggering tragedy some two years ago this week.

With that said —

On with the show.

The SELL of the week goes to Dolph Ziggler, whose performance in Monday night’s six-man-tag on RAW was really quite a lot of fun to watch. I’ve been harsh on Ziggler’s act in the past, but he really brought out his “A” game on Monday when his team did battle against Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio, and The Great Khali. Though Ziggler ended up taking more punishment than he was able to dish out, the guy sold each of his opponent’s moves with a tremendously realistic “squirm” that provided a fun little break from the usual pro wrestling approach to taking a punch and playing dead. He flipped, he flopped, and he made his opponents’ offense look like it had caused him a world of discomfort at every turn. For that, the former Spirit Squadder earns major kudos as this week’s best sell.

The TELL of the week comes from the same show, and regrettably must be awarded to Triple H and Randy Orton. While these two superstars’ Last Man Standing match was light years better than just about everything they’ve done in a ring together so far (and that includes WrestleMania 25), the finishing sequence should have left fans wanting more (so as to sell Sunday’s PPV) rather than wishing they’d seen less. Viewers couldn’t help but laugh as television cameras were right there when Hunter’s Pedigree onto the “unforgiving steel stage” managed to lay Orton down for the count. The problem? We all saw that Orton simply absorbed the bulk of the impact with his forearms (Well so much for that “knockout” blow). And even though Triple H’s knee was “too injured” to allow The Game the opportunity to stand by the count of ten, it had miraculously healed in time for him to run full speed and ambush Randy Orton backstage at the conclusion of the show. Sorry fellas, but we just ain’t buyin’ it.


New and/or newly returning performers or events of the past week.

None.


Obituaries, retirements, and/or performers whose contracts have ended this week.

Billy Red Lyons – Canadian wrestler, former WWF Announcer and television personality Billy Red Lyons (a.k.a. William Snip) passed away on June 22 at the age of 77. Though much of his success came in the Great White North throughout the 1960s and 70s, he did enjoy a limited run of exposure in the U.S.-based AWA before retiring to a non-wrestling front office role with the World Wrestling Federation following Vince McMahon’s purchase of the promotion from his father. Late 80s WWF fans will likely remember Billy Red Lyons for his signature “don’tcha dare miss it” catchphrase, which was often used in WWF promotional material to help advertise upcoming events.

On behalf of 411wrestling.com, I hope you’ll join us in offering our thoughts and condolences to friends and family members of Billy Red Lyons.

Candice Michelle – was released from her contract with World Wrestling Entertainment last week. Rumors of Candice’s release had been swirling for several weeks now, as she was widely viewed as the female answer to the recently pink-slipped Mr. Kennedy, who couldn’t seem to stay healthy and in the good graces of his employer long enough to warrant a full-time spot on a WWE roster.

Additional backstage word seems to suggest that Candice pretty much saw the handwriting on the wall when it came to her days being numbered in the WWE ranks, and so her release was hardly a surprise. Others in the company have suggested that Candice herself had been weighing the idea of leaving World Wrestling Entertainment altogether — and thus her firing was actually something of a blessing in disguise as she hopes to pursue other ventures away from a WWE ring.


Sim Snuka – was released from his contract with World Wrestling Entertainment last week. Snuka was last seen on WWE programming at WrestleMania 25, where he played the role of the ringside cameraman responsible for catching The Undertaker as he flew out of the ring and over the top rope in his show-stealing bout against Shawn Michaels.

For reasons right or wrong, Snuka was largely held responsible for the botched landing that followed The Undertaker’s dive (because really, it’s kind of hard to blame the guy who’s FLYING THROUGH THE AIR and basically trusting the guy on the ground to make sure that he lands safely), and thus there had been a fair amount of heat on him in the WWE locker room as a result. Many have complained that the fall was just as much ‘Taker’s fault (or Shawn’s) as it was Snuka’s, but the bottom line is that the incident certainly didn’t do much to improve the man’s standing within the company.


Performers injured or suspended in the past week.

Shane Douglas – appears to have injured his ankle on Sunday’s SlammiVersary PPV. The Franchise gutted through the injury before coming up short in a losing effort against Daniels on Sunday’s PPV, and was seen limping backstage as a result. And for as pasty and out of shape as Daniels may have appeared two weeks ago on iMPACT!, I’ll have to say this much in the guy’s defense — his SlammiVersary match did a mighty fine job of surpassing even the most reasonable of expectations, especially given his age and history for less-than-stellar in-ring work (particularly in his later career). Pasty and injured or not, Shane Douglas looked better last weekend than he has in the past five years.

No word has yet been given as to whether or not Douglas’ injury will require medical attention or affect his long-term standing with the company. However, given the fact that his SlammiVersary match was (in kayfabe terms) “for a slot on the TNA roster,” one has to believe that the long-term implications of his injury will have little affect as to whether or not TNA decides to use him again in the immediate future.


Matt Hardy – tore an abdominal muscle on Tuesday and will require surgery to repair the damage. This is Hardy’s second noteworthy injury since Backlash, where he injured his arm and was required to wrestle while wearing a cast for several weeks.

No timetable has yet been set for Matt’s latest rehab schedule, but it is widely believed that he may miss anywhere from four to six weeks’ time. Many have begun to speculate that his latest injury merely moves him one step closer to joining Candice Michelle and Mr. Kennedy in WWE’s “Future Endeavors” club — but there’s probably something to be said for the fact that Hardy, unlike so many others, has consistently proven that he can actually command a sizable following of fans and draw money for the company as a result (both as a tag team specialist and then in his subsequent run as a upper-midcard antithesis to his uberpopular younger brother).

In addition, it’s no secret that Matt Hardy is one of the few remaining singles midcard heels on the RAW roster (because really, outside of Miz and Big Show, they’ve got NADA!), and so it’s pretty hard to believe that WWE will give him the axe simply because he’s caught a few bad breaks WHILE WRESTLING over the past few months. Hardy’s departure from the Red Brand *MAY*, however, create more room for the development of additional single’s midcard heel performers in the immediate future.

In which case, THE Brian Kendrick has got to be feeling pretty good, right about now.


Performers that have landed in hot water over the past week.

Chris Jericho – hasn’t *really* landed in the WWE doghouse, per se, but the 2008 Superstar of the Year has been planting a good number of kayfabe red herrings when speaking to mainstream media outlets in order to hint at an upcoming program against The Undertaker, who is currently on the sidelines rehabbing from injury. On several occassions over the past week’s time, Jericho has told reporters that The Undertaker “runs the WWE locker room,” but that The Dead Man is currently “ducking” the first-ever Undisputed Champion, as he has made a habit of doing since Y2J’s arrival in the company nearly ten years ago.

While the two superstars have indeed crossed paths in multi-man matches (and, presumably, at at least a handful of non-televised shows) over the past ten years’ time, Chris Jericho and The Undertaker have never faced off against one another in a televised singles’ program. Presumably, Jericho’s comments to the media are being planted so as to set the stage for precisely such a program upon The Dead Man’s return to the ring later this summer.


Developing scandals, scuttlebutt, and budding backstage rumors.

WWE’s All-Cage-Themed PPV – As they had done several weeks ago when soliciting fan input in naming their soon-to-debut “All Submission-Themed” PPV (“Breaking Point”), WWE once again sent an e-mail to their WWE Universe mailing list this week to tally fan votes in coming up with a name for a pay-per-view in which each of the matches might be contested in a Hell in a Cell structure. The name options included:

Rage In A Cage
Hell In A Cell
No Escape
Lock Up

Now then —

Long time readers may recall that while I was in full support of an all-submission-themed PPV (and I don’t even watch MMA), I have made little attempt to hide my disdain for an all-cage-themed PPV (ala TNA Lockdown). Basically, I believe that “branding” each PPV with a unique gimmick helps to make each show seem more unique and worthwhile. But at the same time, the gimmick should remain versatile enough so as to allow a wide array of match variations in order for the show to remain fresh and marketable without watering down the central gimmick’s appeal.

Here’s a snippet from the May 22 column:

Ultimately, themed pay per view events will breathe new life into main event programs. No longer will we see three back-to-back-to-back PPV outings of the same old singles contest as we saw last month. Now, thanks to a regularly rotating series of gimmicks (each one boasting an intrinsic and altogether new set of challenges than the last), fueds should (in theory, at least) remain fresh for longer periods of time.

The problem, however…

Is that while an entirely submission-themed PPV can really open the doors to a number of not-usually seen maneuvers and storylines, an ALL CAGE MATCH PPV (scratch that, an ALL HELL IN THE CELL PPV) really “boxes performers in” — both literally and in a creative sense.

Just ask TNA.

By sticking EVERY match within the confines of a cage, you immediately water down the “feud-ending blowoff” appeal of the cage gimmick. Suddenly, feuds that are only just beginning end up raced to a bloody conclusion all too soon, and meaningless undercard matches wind up thrown into the confines of a cage for no other reason than the show just happens to demand it.

Even worse?

When fans have seen more than one or two cage matches in the same night, they quickly become desensitized to the brutality of the gimmick itself. Suddenly it’s not just enough to have two mortal enemies slugging it out inside of a steel cage, and thus you’re forced to introduce all sorts of additional gimmicks and variations into the main event contests in order to retain your audience’s attention.

(see: Blindfold in a Cage, Arm Wrestling in a Cage, Lethal Lockdown, Electrified Cage Match, Kennel From Hell, etc.)

With a gimmick as unique and marketable as the Hell in a Cell match has been (simply because it’s used so sparingly, and effectively as a result), an ENTIRE PPV dedicated to six-to-eight matches inside of “Satan’s Playground” seems like a surefire way to damage the gimmick’s appeal. ESPECIALLY when WWE seems hell-bent on keeping the majority of their bouts “TV-PG” and free of any intentional bloodshed.

Solution?

If WWE *really is* so dead-set on making the Hell in a Cell-themed PPV a permanent addition to their calendar year (say, in place of December’s otherwise unmemorable “Armageddon” PPV), then much like the company’s No Way Out has used the Elimination Chamber matches for MAIN EVENT MATCHES ONLY (e.g. number one contender’s bouts and championship contests), perhaps they’d be best served to limit the number of actual “in a Cell” matches to just two (or three) at the very most. That way, you can still market the show around the “guaranteed to be a Hell in a Cell bout” concept (thus differentiating it from other B-rate PPV offerings), but you can simultaneously allow the remainder of your undercard to work outside of the confines of the show’s eponymous gimmick match (much like the Royal Rumble, actually) so as not to overexpose the concept to the point where it becomes unappealing.


Recaps and thoughts on the major onscreen happenings of the past week.

RAW Scores Huge Rating
WWE’s Flagship Boasts Best Numbers Since 2006

Big news for RAW viewers this week, as Monday night’s commercial-free Donald Trump-ified RAW drew an impressive 4.5 Nielsen rating, which meant that WWE’s flagship broadcast was viewed by more than 6.8 million folks at home. This marks the company’s biggest rating since February, 2006.

Obviously Monday night’s broadcast was loaded with all sorts of variables that could help to explain this sudden spike in viewership. Among them:

a) A two-hour commercial-free broadcast (a WWE first)
b) The first (and only) episode with Donald Trump as RAW’s “new owner.”
c) Superstars from all three of WWE’s rosters on one show.
d) Free tickets to all guests in live attendance (for a total of $235,000+)

Internally, WWE officials are thrilled at the success of the broadcast, and are leaving their options open to run a similarly formatted program in the future. Until then, they’re attributing much of the show’s success to the aforementioned “B” option and Donald Trump. But a quick tour of the wrestling message boards across the world wide webz tells a *much* different story, as most fans have suggested that their reason for watching Monday night’s show had more to do with options “A” and “C” rather than anything remotely related to The Donald.

So which one was it?

Rather than sitting here from an outsider’s perspective and making idle speculation as to which particular variable caused the ratings to spike across the board — I’m opening the comments section below to YOU, the readers (and presumably, the RAW audience). Here’s your chance to sound off and let the numbers speak for themselves.

So again — which one was it? Why did you watch this week’s RAW (if you did indeed end up watching it at all).

For Mee?

It was a curiosity factor that encompassed the first three variables — the largest of which was probably the commercial-free component. Don’t get Mee wrong: a “supershow” with crossover stars from Smackdown is rarely a bad thing, PLUS we had a WWE Championship Match (and a solid one, at that), not to mention the added storyline quirk of The Donald and his ongoing war with Vince McMahon.* But in the end? We’ve seen each of those other things before (and recently, at that). But the commercial free tactic was more than enough to win my viewership for a night’s time, even if I do just typically fast-forward through the commercials thanks to the wonders of TiVo anyhow.

But again, that’s just one fan’s rationale. So do feel free to sound off with your reasons for watching (or not watching) below.

*Note: A lot of folks have complained that the Trump/McMahon angle was nonsensical. How could Trump running RAW for free possibly threaten to Drive Vinny Mac into bankruptcy? After all, The Donald was supposedly the sole “owner” of the Red Brand and all of its properties (the stars, the merch, etc.) — so what’s the big deal to Vince McMahon if he screws the pooch?

Well forgive my kayfabe credulity here for a second, but I think The Donald himself actually did a fine job of hinting at Vince’s reason for getting upset. See, Trump wasn’t just talking about how he was going to give “power to the people” on RAW, he even went as far as to say that he’d be changing the way wrestling fans would see WRESTLEMANIA — and that one more than anything is Vince McMahon’s baby.

If Trump’s only intent with RAW was to make it fan-friendly enough that somebody ELSE would be willing to buy it back from him for double the dough, then Vinny Mac would be left powerless to run his own company’s biggest show of the year. Why’s that? Suddenly, Vince would either be forced to promote each of his other two brands in the same exact fashion as Trump had done with RAW (and thus cede control to “the fans” — something the evil chairman character would never do), or he’d be stuck fighting a losing battle as the Red Brand’s “power to the people” promotion strategy continued to win all sorts of supporters, thus decentralizing McMahon’s ability to run things *his* way and threatening to make RAW an even bigger, better and more fan-friendly attraction than “The Grandaddy of Them All.”

Both in kayfabe terms and in real life, Vince McMahon would never allow anyone to run “his baby” out of business without his blessing. And once he realized Trump was looking to outpromote the master promoter? Well, it’s no wonder that he was willing to cough up the (kayfabe) coin in order to prevent his Frankenstein monster of a flagship broadcast from posing any real threat to his beloved WrestleMania franchise.

Monday Night RAW Loses a Major Competitor
TLC Ratings Juggernaut Goes on Hiatus

Monday’s whopper of a RAW rating was most certainly an impressive feat in its own right (this was RAW’s highest rating in over three years’ time!), but it becomes even more formidable when one considers just how stiff the competition WWE’s broadcast was stacked up against.

No, it’s not Monday Night Football or the NBA Playoffs.

Instead, RAW’s biggest opponent of the broadcast week came in the form of TLC’s surprising reality show juggernaut in Jon & Kate Plus Eight. On the massively hyped “major announcement” episode that aired this past Monday (SPOILER: The Gosselins are splitting up!), TLC managed to draw a whopping 10.6 million viewers, making the episode the single largest audience ever the TLC network. And in case you think this sudden surge in popularity is simply a “one shot deal” for the infighting Gosselin clan, keep in mind that the show’s season debut on Memorial Day likewise managed to snag an impressive 9.8 million viewers.

In short — it’s really become something of a ratings force to be reckoned with.

So why does this matter to wrestling fans?

Jon and Kate’s separation means that TLC’s reality show will be going on a six week hiatus. All of the sudden, close to 10 MILLION new viewers (most of whom are presumably female) will suddenly have a whole lot of free time on Monday nights. And while the WWE Universe isn’t exactly a perfect fit with the typical TLC demographics (again, mostly middle-aged women), the simple fact of the matter is that a good number of these MIDDLE AGED WOMEN WATCHING A “FAMILY” SHOW likewise are *married* to MIDDLE AGED MEN and have a FAMILY OF THEIR OWN.

Translation?

WWE might not be able to trick a “thirty-something wifey” into watching grown men smack eachother with steel chairs and the like. But since there’s no Jon and Kate drama to command their television sets on Monday nights, it’s probably a MUCH easier sell to lure at least a good handful of new viewers in the form of these ladies thirty-something hubbies, who now find themselves with full control of the remote control during the television block where their better half would have otherwise been tuning in to see Jon and Kate’s nuclearfamilial meltdown.

The trick, of course, is finding a successful way to woo these middle-aged men (and their kids) in the six weeks it’ll take to get Jon (Minus) Kate back on the air.

Let’s face it — WWE’s “TV-PG” hamstring has worked to its detriment more than a few times in the past. But now that the ‘E suddenly finds their potential television viewership LOADED with middle-aged dads and their “not quite ready for bed yet” children, there is no reason to believe that RAW can’t play their newfound “family friendly” image to their favor in order to score some new viewers.

And before you say “there’s no way moms would let their husbands and kids watch that crap…”

If you’ve ever seen Jon and Kate Plus Eight, you’ll probably recall that the show lives and dies on all sorts of family drama (cough…McMahons…cough), rumors of marital infidelity run rampant (cough…Edge…cough), Kate is about as shrewish and image-obsessed as they come (cough…Stephanie…couch), and Jon himself is a big fan of letting his kids wrestle with one another right under his nose (cough…Vince…cough).

Say, that gives Mee an idea —

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Samoa Joe Shocks the World
Former TNA Champ Aligns with Kurt Angle

The major news out of TNA this week was that Kurt Angle emerged victorious from Sunday’s King of the Mountain Match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at SlammiVersary. The Olympic Gold Medalist didn’t just manage to pick up the win on his own, however. Instead, he received the most unlikely of assists in the form of a late-breaking swerve from one of his most famed adversaries of all time…

Samoa Joe

Obviously, this shocking development has sent the internet wrestling community ablaze with discussion and fallout. Many have questioned TNA’s motives for pulling such a major swerve from out of nowhere, while others have maintained that the company has actually been planting the seeds for this one for years.

In truth?

I can most definitely see both sides of the argument. And especially with rumors of Taz heading into the TNA Ranks at any moment now (keep in mind that this column was submitted before last night’s iMPACT! aired), it’s pretty hard to criticize those who swear up and down that TNA really doesn’t have any clear long-term idea as to where this storyline is going whatsoever, actually.

But before we get ahead of ourselves…

Let’s break this sucker down into a quick either/or scenario and see what options now lie before us, eh?

Here’s how the Samoa Joe swerve could turn out to be a TERRIBLE thing:

Joe coughs up the belt to Kurt Angle simply to reveal that he’d been in cahoots with the Main Event Mafia all along. Joe is welcomed into the group with open arms, as the trio of Nash, Booker and Steiner agree to let bygones be bygones and forgive the fact that The Samoan Submission Machine came just inches away from ending each of their careers — or worse.

But since no two partners in TNA can ever seem to remain on the same page for more than a few days at a time, this angle would quickly give way to Sting feeling like the odd man out amongst a gang of theives. In turn, The Icon would go right back to playing the “unlikely stablemate” hell-bent on beating “respect” into his running buddies (ala Sting vs. Angle’s last go-round), while Angle, Joe and the remainder of the Mafia would continue to break all sorts of rules in order to keep themselves in the power position regardless of the cost.

oooh yeah — and then Taz shows up just to throw an additional fly in the ointment. Suddenly, it’s The Mafia (+Joe and Taz) versus The Stinger.

Not only has this angle been done before (and very recently, at that), it also does absolutely ZERO to build any new talent whatsoever. What’s worse is that it relegates Samoa Joe to second fiddle role in a stable that already has PLENTY of “hired guns,” and The Main Event Mafia remains united (minus Sting, as usual) while their primary storyline pits them alongside a NON-WRESTLER (Taz) and against a defecting VETERAN (Sting) rather than into a program with any younger talent or outsiders to the faction.

On the flipside…

Here’s how the Joe swerve can turn out to be a GREAT thing:

Kurt hates Sting, and feels betrayed by his Mafia brothers for having sided with the face-painted Icon instead of their Olympic Hero. As the weeks wear on, Kurt grows increasingly frustrated and continues to lose control of The Main Event Mafia. He tries at every turn to recapture the group’s leadership role, but their “Family First” mentality prevents him from waging a one-man war against their newly appointed leader.

(Because we all remember how poorly his last attempt at warring with a Main Event Mafia brother ended up).

Desperate for revenge, Angle secretly decides to seek an outside mentor (Taz) and/or a young apprentice (Samoa Joe) to help destroy the very same army he had once helped to create. To do so, Kurt starts to leak all sorts of Mafia secrets Joe’s way, and one by one, his dark apprentice uses this “inside knowledge” of the group’s innermost workings to dismantle the one-time leader’s very own organization once and for all.

Say, that sounds awfully familiar…

Oh right. Now where was I —

In the end, Joe has his revenge on the Mafia members who had wronged him the most. He rewards his secret mentor with the TNA World Heavyweight Championship in return for months of valuable insider information.

In turn, Angle finally gets his revenge on Sting (and his “traitorous” Mafia cohorts). The Main Event Mafia is left in ruins, and the newly crowned World Heavyweight Champion abandons his old stable and splits away to partner up with his newer, younger, and stronger ally in Samoa Joe, a non-wrestling “mentor” (Taz) and possibly other new blood to follow (i.e. Matt Morgan).Suddenly, the stable battle lines are reconfigured. And on one side you’ve got the remaining Main Event Mafia members (all of whom have already been decimated by Samoa Joe), while on the other you have a younger, stronger and more dominant faction that’s looking to fill the power void all by themselves.

And as the Mafia fades into obscurity and retirement?

The fledgling remnants of TNA’s erstwhile Front Line (namely, styles and Daniels) likewise band together with some unlikely allies of their own (Foley, Jarrett, etc.) to help wrest control away from their traitorous old friend in Samoa Joe and his brand new crew of running buddies.

No longer do you have a war of “cool veterans” getting the better of “loser originals.” Instead, you have a strong blend of new AND old performers on BOTH sides of the heel and face spectrum, thus resetting the playing field so as to allow the vets the opportunity to “groom” young proteges and help ensure the staying power of TNA’s next generation of stars.

But then again, this is all still very much hypothetical, and very much contingent on the next few weeks worth of TNA programming.

And then again (as the old saying goes) —

“This IS TNA.”

Stay tuned.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

That’ll do it for this week. The Bash is this Sunday, so keep it here on 411wrestling.com all weekend long as we’ll have up-to-the-minute news and information and all sorts of continuing coverage of this latest installment of WWE’s pay-per-view calendar year. Until next time, enjoy the weekend and the infancy of summer, and always stay positive!

– Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : 1-800-799-SAFE.

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