The Wrestling News Experience: 06.29.09
Posted by Stephen Randle on 06.29.2009
The Bash is over and we've got results and thoughts, plus a preview for tonight's commercial-filled and Vince-owned Raw, the end of Lillian Garcia, things to do on Father's Day when you're a bad father, and a return to Smackdown that nobody really wanted!
Monday, June 29th, 2009
From 411Mania's Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!
Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, inventor of the new, non-prejudicial term "lower upper card", which I want put into everyday use from now on.
Also, happy Canada Day three days early. I know everyone has all the alcohol they need to celebrate appropriately already, I heard about how much we spent when the LCBO nearly went on strike. Seriously, 70 million dollars worth of alcohol was sold in one day in Ontario last week. Shouldn't someone be shining a spotlight on our addiction right about now?
On another note, as an avid student of Arthurian literature, I have to say that the new Merlin series on television right now is…not great. I can see what they're going for, with "young" versions of the popular characters and some ret-conning to change the "known" story (which, really, is what the legend is all about, considering it's based on a single passage from an old historical text…see, I told you I studied it), but it seems like a very lifeless show with characters that aren't very interesting and plots that don't hold my interest. I'm still giving it a chance, because it's Arthurian and I'll watch anything involving that, but I won't be shocked if it doesn't survive long.
What I will recommend, however, is the novel Dies The Fire, by S.M. Stirling, which I picked up on the recommendation of the guy who does the Looking For Group webcomic. Because if you can't trust webcomic writers and artists, who can you trust? Anyway, the book is excellent, although occasionally a little too contrived and coincidental, but still a great read, about a post-apocalyptic Earth where, due to a sudden unexplained event, all electricity, gunpowder, and steam power no longer works.
Tommy Dreamer won a Scramble Match to retain the ECW Championship
Order of Entry
1. Christian
2. Jack Swagger
3. Finlay
4. Tommy Dreamer
5. Mark Henry
Path of Champions
1. Jack Swagger pinned Christian (rollup)
2. Finlay pinned Jack Swagger (Celtic Cross)
3. Mark Henry pinned Tommy Dreamer (World's Strongest Slam)
4. Jack Swagger pinned Mark Henry (Vader Bomb)
5. Tommy Dreamer pinned Christian (DDT)
Well, I have to say very few people saw this coming, given that the Scramble format virtually guarantees a new champion…well, it's supposed to. Anyway, this match really shows the high level of talent on ECW, as in addition to these five, there's The Hart Dynasty, Evan Bourne, Kozlov and (sigh…) Zach Ryder, any of whom could move over to Raw or Smackdown and fit right in to a lower upper card spot at worst.
Rey Mysterio defeated Chris Jericho to win the Intercontinental Championship (pinfall, 619/Splash)
I'm fairly sure nobody was shocked by this result. Always have to love the "double mask" trick that no heel has ever managed to see coming.
Dolph Ziggler defeated The Great Khali in a No DQ match (pinfall, multiple Kane-related chairshots)
It's the rematch nobody was waiting for! So, they couldn't think of anything for Kane to do for two months, and this is what they eventually come up with? What, were they saving feuding with the Undertaker for WrestleMania again?
Edge and Chris Jericho defeated The Colons and Legacy in a Triple Threat Match to win the Unified Tag Team Championship (Edge pinned Carlito, Spear)
Hey, what a coincidence (one not missed by several people), now Edge and Chris Jericho, the two top heels and two of the best main event workers in WWE can work all three brands until they lose the tag titles.
Wait, don't Edge and Chris Jericho hate each other because they both want to be top guy on Smackdown?
*knock knock*
I…don't think I'm going to answer that...
*knock knock*
*CRASH*
Oh No! It's the WWE Anti-Continuity Containment Squad! Run away!
Okay, I distracted them with a copy of Kane's autobiography. We can continue.
Michelle McCool defeated Melina to win the Women's Championship (pinfall, HahawegaveAJStylesfinishertoagirlsuckitTNA)
Well, like sex with the Undertaker, some things are just inevitable and you have to lie there and accept it.
Or so I hear.
Jeff Hardy defeated CM Punk by DQ (Punk inadvertently attacks the ref). Punk retains the World Heavyweight Championship
That ratbastard unbelieving Jeff Hardy! Punk clearly kicked the referee accidentally! How dare he attack him after the match, especially since Punk obviously has an injured eye!
Welcome to Smackdown, where the heels think they're faces and the faces attack from behind. It doesn't make Vince happy, but it sure is fun to watch.
John Cena defeated The Miz (submission, STF)
Well, that ended up being fairly pointless, didn't it? You're telling me we can have Big Show throw Cena around for months, even beat him cleanly the week before a PPV (yes, it happened), but The Miz gets nothing? I can't imagine why people think Raw is stagnant and boring.
Randy Orton defeated Triple H in a 3 Stages of Hell match to retain the WWE Championship
First Fall: Orton d. HHH (DQ, chairshot)
Second Fall (Falls Count Anywhere): HHH d. Orton (pinfall, Pedigree after more chairshots)
Third Fall (Stretcher Match): Orton d. HHH (stretcher over the line)
Okay, while taking an intentional DQ to win the next fall or two is smart for an Iron Man Match (both HHH and Brock have used that tactic before), in a match with only three possible falls, it's far from intelligent to give up one fall just so you can tie it up immediately and move to the third, most dangerous stipulation, where you have no advantage because the next fall decides the match. Plus, you lose the entire middle part of the match, which ruins the entire concept of "3 Stages of Hell", that being, 3 brutal matches. Instead, we get a five minute Raw match, a thirty second beatdown, and then 1 brutal match.
And Triple H, of course, makes sure that he's the one standing tall at the end, so this feud…must continue!
Oh, and don't forget, there's dissension in Legacy! Possibly. Maybe not. Tune into Nitro to find out!
Buddy?
Buddy is Really, Really, Really Tired of Orton vs Triple H
Don't worry, I'm sure it'll be over in three or four months.
What's On Tap - WWE Raw for June 29th
Last week, the Trump reign over Raw came to an abrupt and silly end as The Donald sold the franchise back to Vince McMahon literally minutes after telling the fans how much he loved wrestling and promising them all sorts of things that could have made Raw fresh and entertaining. C'est la vie. This week, Vince is back, and if all the stuff he was up to on Raw is any indication, tonight should be full of his meddling.
Meanwhile, Randy Orton retained his title in a 3 Stages of Hell match against Triple H, but it was The Game who stood tall as The Bash went off the air. Meanwhile, some cracks appeared in the foundation of Legacy, but was it all just a ruse to lower Triple H's guard? Will this feud ever end?
And the build begins for Night of Champions, where every title in WWE will be on the line, so developments can be expected for current belt holders Kofi Kingston, Maryse, and the new Unified Tag Team Champions…Smackdown's Edge and Chris Jericho.
The Wrestling Threatdown
5. Bring Back The Fink!
Yesterday, WWE ring announcer Lillian Garcia issued at statement in response to circulating rumour over WWE posting a job opening for a new female ring announcer. Lillian has confirmed that the rumours are true. I know, WWE contracted talent actually admitted that the rumour mill got one right, keep your shock under control. Anyway, Lillian has admitted that she will be leaving WWE at the end of the year, to concentrate on other interests.
I would love to be charitable to Ms. Garcia, she doesn't have an easy job, especially when working in front of a live Raw audience, including millions watching on television. But then again, I can't help but remember the last time Raw was in Toronto, and Lillian came out before the show began to welcome the crowd to Raw, live, at the...Air America Centre. Fortunately, they still had time before the show hit the airwaves, otherwise the first images of that night's show would have been an entire arena showering the ring with boos.
I'm just worried that WWE won't actually manage to hire someone even half as competent, or will just decide to give an extraneous Diva the job. What's Maria done lately, anyway? At least if she screws up, they can revert her back to the whole "vapid idiot" gimmick.
4. The PPV's, They Are A-Changin'
On the heels of last week's news that WWE was surveying the fans about further PPV name changes, they appear to have immediately followed through on that design, as both the No Mercy and, somewhat surprisingly, the Cyber Sunday PPV have undergone name changes. No Mercy will henceforth be known as Hell in a Cell (Really? They went with that?), and Cyber Sunday is now Annihilation. Given the new PG nature of the programming, I would love to hear a parent explain what that word means to children.
I say that the renaming of Cyber Sunday is surprising given that WWE has allegedly been looking to make their PPV's into "theme" shows, leading to yearly Elimination Chambers at No Way Out, the new submission-themed main events at Breaking Point, and, presumably, Hell in a Cell main events at Hell in a Cell. However, Cyber Sunday now adopts a generic name in the same vein as Armageddon, Judgment Day, or The Bash, which is odd, considering that the PPV already had a defined theme as the "interactive" show, which I would presume (and yes, I could be wrong) will be eliminated with the new name.
Also, I would weep for losing the ability to make clever statements involving "Unforgiven" and "No Mercy", but at least I still can fall back on No Way Out.
3. A Killer B(eater)?
Former wrestler and member of underrated tag team The Killer B's, B. Brian Blair, was arrested for allegedly beating his children on Father's Day. Apparently if he'd done it any other day, it wouldn't have been newsworthy. And even though Blair's crime, if true, is heinous, it seems that the member of the tag team known mostly for jobbing to bigger stars in WWE will once again fail, this time in his quest to be the worst father in the world on Father's Day. After all, beating your kid is small potatoes when it goes up against disappearing for an entire weekend to have an affair with a woman in Argentina while your entire staff makes up a story about hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Sorry, Blair, maybe next time, instead of beating your children, you should just get caught in a seedy motel with a transvestite. All the embarrassment, none of the beating up your kids!
For more reaction to this story, we go now to TWNE's Senior Killer B Analyst, The Iron Sheik. Sheik?
2. Vince, Tyrant of…Smackdown?
Seriously, what the hell is Vince doing on Smackdown? It seems like it's been years since he even appeared on the show, let alone acknowledged that he owns it and runs it just as much as he does Raw. But now, there he is, taking up vignettes, bullying Teddy Long for no real reason, and generally being a douchebag. What, was he afraid that too many people were actually enjoying the show? Or is he really so arrogant that he believes that his presence will raise the admittedly sagging ratings of the Friday night show? Can he really be..
Wait, I'm being handed a paper…it seems that last week's Raw, which was centered around the Triple H-Orton Last Man Standing match, as well as a large portion of time involving Vince fighting with Donald Trump and being embarrassed in backstage vignettes, garnered the highest Raw rating in a very long time, possibly the largest since WCW was around to compete.
One guess who gets credit for that rating.
1. Don't Forget
Mild-mannered reporter Gregory "Certainly Not The Hurricane" Helms posted on Twitter the news that WWE Superstar Paul Burchill recently learned that his brother, who had been serving in Afghanistan, was killed. This unfortunate news serves as a reminder that every day, there are soldiers around the world paying the ultimate price in order to protect our way of life, and that they, and their families, deserve our support every day.
We here at the Experience offer our sincere condolences to Paul Burchill, his family, and all those connected to his brother, and the hope that one day, we can bring them all home for good.
The Injury Bug Bites
Inactive List as of 06.22.09
WWE Raw
- Batista, RAW, out 4 months as of June 9th (biceps)
WWE SmackDown
- The Undertaker, SD!, out indefinitely as of May 2009 (hip/knee)
ECW
- No reported injuries
TNA
- Christy Hemme, out indefinitely as of January 10th (neck surgery)
Transactions
- Donald Trump, sold Raw franchise back to Vince McMahon, no longer owner of Raw
- Matt Hardy, RAW, out 4-6 weeks as of June 23rd (torn abdominal)
- Kane, SD!, returned to television at The Bash PPV
- Santina Marella, RAW, released from her contract
What? She was obviously a completely different person. You can't fake that kind of camera shot.
- Sheik Abdul Bashir, TNA, signed to a contract extension
Thus endeth the drama surrounding the hottest free agent in wrestling.
Sforcina, can I borrow Perry for a second?
Who's Holding Gold
WWE
WWE Champion: Randy Orton
- 14 day reign, defeated John Cena, Triple H, and The Big Show in a Fatal Four-Way for the vacant title on June 15th (Raw)
World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk
- 22 day reign, defeated Jeff Hardy by cashing in Money in the Bank on June 7th (Extreme Rules PPV)
ECW Champion: Tommy Dreamer
- 22 day reign, defeated former champion Christian and Jack Swagger in a Triple Threat Match on June 7th (Extreme Rules PPV)
**NEW** WWE Intercontinental Champion: Rey Mysterio
- 1 day reign, defeated Chris Jericho in a Mask vs Title Match on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
WWE United States Champion: Kofi Kingston
- 29 day reign, defeated MVP on June 1st Raw
**NEW** WWE Undisputed Tag Team Champions: Edge and Chris Jericho
- 1 day reign, defeated former champions The Colons and Legacy in a Triple Threat Match on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
**NEW**WWE Women's Champion: Michelle McCool
- 1 day reign, defeated Melina on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
WWE Diva's Champion: Maryse
- 193 day reign, defeated Michelle McCool on December 26th (Smackdown)
TNA
TNA Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
- 8 day reign, defeated former champion Mick Foley, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett in a King of the Mountain Match on June 21st (Slammiversary PPV)
TNA Tag Team Champions: Beer Money, Inc.
- 8 day reign, defeated Team 3D on June 21st (Slammiversary PPV)
TNA X-Division Champion: Suicide
- 106 day reign, defeated former champion Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Jay Lethal, and Consequences Creed in an Ultimate X Match on March 15th (Destination X PPV)
TNA Knockouts Champion: Angelina Love
- 71 day reign, defeated former champion Awesome Kong and Taylor Wilde in a Triple Threat Six Sides of Steel Match on April 19th (Lockdown PPV)
TNA Legends Champion: AJ Styles
- 106 day reign, defeated Booker T on March 15th (Destination X PPV)
411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT.
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Michelle deserves a title reign, no matter who she's dating or not :) Fantastic match mixed in with the right decision. Sorry pre trained indy vet melina is as boring as a brick when she's face. Let the title shine now
Posted By: Sam (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 01:43 AM
"Michelle deserves a title reign, no matter who she's dating or not :) Fantastic match mixed in with the right decision. Sorry pre trained indy vet melina is as boring as a brick when she's face. Let the title shine now"
Her Divas title win at Bash 2008 and her Women's title win were met with complete silence from the live audience.
She has completely failed to get over with the crowd despite tons of effort from WWE over the last two years.
Shockingly, some people think she should be pushed less because of this. Damn haters.
Posted By: Guest#7879 (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 02:07 AM
She got a HUGE pop at the bash when she won after the cameras cut to the back according to live reports. It was said to be the biggest she ever got as a face but sadly it wasnt shown =[
Posted By: Sam (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 02:38 AM
I don't think I would fuss about the Jericho/Edge development being "anti-continuity." I am sure it will be fleshed out later this week, and two guys that hate each other holding gold always makes for great TV and wrestling...remember the Benoit/Angle run.
I have no complaints about these two being on every show...they are the only two performers in the main event scene worth watching.
Posted By: Guest#9828 (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 02:39 AM
I don't think that Edge and Jericho getting the unified Tag Team belts was about getting them on all three shows. It is the ratings of Smackdown and ECW that are sagging, not RAW. It is about getting Edge and Jericho on Night of Champions. They put up great matches and both are good talkers - they are natural salesmen for the show. I mean, are Orton and Triple H talking slow and "menacingly" really going to get people excited about the show?
On the plus side this gives more reason for the World's Greatest Tag Team to reform.
As far as names of theme shows go, how is "No Mercy" not right for a PPV full of Hell in a Cells? It is supposed to be the brutal end of feuds.
Posted By: Guest#1527 (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 02:43 AM
Michelle Mc cool Is fantastic .
Rated Y2J / TEAM EGO > TNA's entire tag division , IT IS TRUE , DAMN TRUE .
Posted By: Hannah (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 03:06 AM
Jericho and Edge winning the titles is cool, as long as they maintain a high-profile spot, and don't get bumped down to the lower upper card. : )
Posted By: Sam! (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 03:54 AM
do u have ne thing nice to say bout the bash !!!
Posted By: dushimack (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 03:57 AM
Tag team partners that don't really get along? Reminds me of the longest reigning World Tag Team Champions in recent history, Miz and Morrison for a recent example... or countless ones before.
Posted By: Guest#3960 (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 04:25 AM
I think its funny that Maryse is the longest reigning champion in WWE right now...
Posted By: Sandro (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 06:02 AM
Since WWE is going to get generic with their PPV names, when are they going to name one
"Waste O Money"?
Posted By: William (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 06:03 AM
Buddy is not the only one who is really,really, tired of HHH/Orton.
Posted By: fanboi13 (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 06:36 AM
Cute cat.
Posted By: Bimmy (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 07:12 AM
She got a HUGE pop at the bash when she won after the cameras cut to the back according to live reports. It was said to be the biggest she ever got as a face but sadly it wasnt shown =[
Posted By: Sam (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 02:38 AM
Could be because she is supposed to be a heel and the WWE didn't want the viewers to think she turned face.
Posted By: Guest#9792 (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 07:50 AM
"Well, like sex with the Undertaker, some things are just inevitable and you have to lie there and accept it.
Or so I hear."
CLASSIC! lol!
Posted By: bnilla (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 08:36 AM
This article needs more Buddy.
Posted By: DarthWiggles (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 09:31 AM
"She got a HUGE pop at the bash when she won after the cameras cut to the back according to live reports. It was said to be the biggest she ever got as a face but sadly it wasnt shown =["
They suddenly popped for her (a heel) despite not reacting at all to her during the match or when she was posing with the belt in the ring?
Posted By: Guest#6904 (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 10:39 AM
That Sheik video never gets old.
Posted By: Cory (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 11:36 AM
Wait, is Santino/Santina legit released, or is it kayfabe? Sorry, I haven't watched wrestling in a few years but I still keep up with the shows online.
Posted By: Knutcase (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 11:37 AM
Well now who'se gonna beat Michelle McCool now.
Now Khali's a bust. Him losing to uggh Dolph Ziggler? Kane now returns to feud with Khali.
At least the tag belts are in the proper hands
Posted By: Meet The Runne's (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 11:41 AM
Someone didn't actually watch the show; otherwise, the results would make more sense. *sigh*
Posted By: Obviously. (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 12:27 PM
HahawegaveAJStylesfinishertoagirlsuckitTNA)
Well, like sex with the Undertaker, some things are just inevitable and you have to lie there and accept it.
i stood up and laughed at this...
Posted By: Guest#8460 (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 12:50 PM
Jericho and Edge winning the titles is cool, as long as they maintain a high-profile spot, and don't get bumped down to the lower upper card.
yeh, seeing as there aren't many high-profile tag teams, it does seem like they can get dropped down the card, but I'm hoping this is happening to get the on the Night of Champions card, but since it will almost certainly be Triple H vs Orton again, who would Cena tag with, and how do we even know that's where they will go with it? Long answer, i know, but I do agree with you
Posted By: nic (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 02:27 PM
So, apparently Multiple Hs keeps a stash of Sledgehammers hidden around various parts of the arena. I'm guessing he's never more then 8 feet away from one.
Posted By: G-Walla (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 02:28 PM
"One guess who gets credit for that rating"
Well, who SHOULD get credit then? Clearly it was Trump/Vince as well as the commercial free aspect of the show that did it. We can assume that both of those were Vince's ideas (cause we all know if it bombed you would giving Vince 'credit' for it). I love the fact that the internet's favourite show (Smackdown) is pulling in terrible numbers while Vince is able to give Raw a shot in the arm (in terma of viewers- and that seems to be the way we judge success). For how long has the IWC been clamouring for solid wrestling action and simple storylines on WWE programming, and now they see why they don't get it on RAW. Because their target audience (pre-teen and teen boys) doesn't like it! The WWE knows that people like you Stephen Randle will continue to watch, continue to report and continue to bitch no matter what they do. They've got your money and attention, they just want a bigger piece of the entertainment pie.
FACT: Straight-up, hard hitting, entertaining pro wrestling doesn't sell (see: ROH ppv and TV, WWE Smackdown, TNA circa late 2005, etc)
Posted By: Jabber (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 05:01 PM
Merlin may have come from one verse of historical text but thats still more than Jesus got lol
Posted By: Burnout (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 05:02 PM
For the record, Kane was out for two months nursing a knee injury, not because creative had nothing for him.
Posted By: Snabbit (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 11:16 PM
Okay lay off Brian Blair he was defending himself.
Believe it or not 17 year olds can hit as hard as 18 year olds.
It's not like Brian got the turkey baster and (bleeped) his (bleep), grabbed his son's (bleep) and (bleeperbated) him till his son said "Stop (bleeping) my (bleep) you (bleepin) (bleep)!"
Posted By: Issues (Guest) on June 29, 2009 at 11:39 PM
Michelle mc cool is the best WWE Diva currently , And is nothing but pure
truth & fact .
Posted By: Linus Van pelt (Guest) on June 30, 2009 at 12:59 PM
5. Bring Back The Fink!
