Five-Star Conversation 07.07.09: Let's Call The Brand Split Off...Or Shall We?

Posted by Geoff Eubanks on 07.07.2009

Following constructive criticism over my recent attempts to make peace with The Draft, this week we give some thought to just plain ending The Brand Split.

DID YOU KNOW? Mark Henry has a squat thrust of 1,000 pounds; Santina had a squat thrust of about 5 inches.



RAW & SMACKDOWN! THOUGHTS

I am not intentionally ripping off Larry's old school Raw liners (although one more 4am text message about golf that wakes me up on a work day, and we'll see...), but I jotted down some notes during last week's WWE programming and just want to share them. (I still have yet to see the retooled ECW. Hulu.com, here I come! Check out ECW & SD! there, folks…the ratings count!)

Maryse is such a bitch, if she were 40 years older, had three divorces and twice as many facelifts/titjobs, she would qualify for Bravo's "Real Housewives of Montreal".

Maryse: Michel, ferme le bouche. For the uninitiated, she told Michael Cole to shut up on live television without him even realizing it. Glorious.

Mickie James is the Rachael Ray of WWE.

With all the hoohah over the DVD release of "12 Rounds", I'm reminded that the villain of the film was one of the principles in the original, British version of "Queer As Folk". If he was half as committed to selling his "12 Rounds" character as he was to convincing the QAF audience that he was really cornholing young Charlie Hunnam, the film might have been better. I'm just saying.



I'm already a hell of a lot more interested in heel CM Punk than his babyface counterpart…!

Yet again, do the crickets in attendance pop for Ricky Ortiz.

Jesse's imitation of Spencer from "The Hills" is hilarious, although still nowhere near as obnoxious.

I wonder if Rey Mysterio's disgusting chin pubes ever get stuck in the Velcro of his mask's chin-strap?

In the new child-friendly "WWE Universe", how does an unrepentant heel like Michelle McCool get to wear gear adorned in crosses?

With Matt Hardy and Kane now back on the same roster as their siblings, we can now start the countdown to the return of THE HARDYS versus THE BROTHERS OF DESTRUCTION.

Vince's influence upon SD! General Manager Teddy Long (which seems to imply that, yes, Vince is concerned, though not panicking about Friday's ratings), that Long will soon be turning all-out heel.

The only thing wrong with Punk's eyes are those Samsonites he's lugging around underneath them.

Jeff Hardy over-selling his own feigned eye injury was the best acting he's ever done. I laughed my ass off.



FUCK THE BRAND SPLIT!



How many times have we seen that typed over the last couple years by both columnists and commenters alike here at 411mania.com? Hell, not to toot my own horn, and not that I was leading any charge or anything, but I was saying that long before even Larry took up the torch with a louder voice back when we were the team analyzing North American professional wrestling in The R's. I had thrown my hands in the air by the time he got fed up. I've never necessarily favored patience as a virtue…that, and I think he had more faith and allowed for a bit more fudging than did I.

Notwithstanding, I've allowed myself since to become giddy as little schoolgirl when the annual Draft would roll around, because the notion of fresh rosters and of the existing possibility that, should WWE really commit and play smart, it was allowing itself a certain "anything goes" type of atmosphere on all brands under its umbrella where a truly clever Creative team that had truly thought about the moves it was instigating could have some truly fun, visceral, immediate as well as intelligent, long-standing effects. Nope, not a lick of patience, but a wealth of blind faith that couldn't be contained in Vickie Guerrero's granny panties (does anyone else miss her like I do? I swear, I was in the grocery store yesterday, heard a pushy woman perfunctorily say, "ExCUSE me," and I almost marked out right there!).

Ending the Split now makes less sense than it used to a couple years ago, and I'll tell you why. ECW has just seen its first "graduating class", so to speak, of ‘now-ready for prime time players' by nudging some chicks out of the nest, Jack Swagger and Evan Bourne to Raw and THE HART DYNASTY: Tyson Kydd & David Hart Smith with Natalya to SmackDown!. This is incredibly significant because it displays that the concept of the televised developmental is working. Now, I'll be honest, at this point, I have more faith in Swagger and Bourne succeeding initially on their own on Raw, because they appear to be to me more polished and dynamic as solo acts; plus, their placement on Mondays potentially serves them well, too, especially Swagger, whose size and braggadocios demeanor will be a nice fit (I'm a little more concerned about Bourne, who is relatively small, despite being a remarkable firecracker, plus, his shaky promo "skills" stand to undermine him, but let's keep our fingers crossed in his regard!).

However, that's what stands THD in such good stead. They are still relatively green (I mean the men…Natalya is already one of the most accomplished female grapplers in the entire company and I'd bet money she could take down a few men), but they are a unit with heritage, flash and a great look. By the way, have you noticed the staggering litany of solid performers Friday night boasts these days? Edge, Jeff and (now) Matt Hardy, Chris Jericho (the best physical storyteller in the business), John Morrison, Rey Mysterio, CM Punk, The Undertaker…plus, we now have Finlay on hand to tutor some of the greener/less-established (though capable and promising) acts, such as Charlie Haas, Jesse, Mike Knox, R-Truth and Dolph Ziggler. Hell, who knows, Curt Hawkins and Ricky Ortiz might even end up impressing us once in awhile. Ah, there goes that blind faith, although remember the article I wrote a couple months ago on the importance of young recruits benefiting best from having a sort of mentorship the higher they go up the ladder, having someone up the ladder there to teach them the finer points of rising the ladder as they go? This could be one big Friday night group hug to that end, if all goes well. Metaphorically speaking, obviously.

Speaking of Finlay, it strikes me that the trading of William Regal from Raw to SmackDown! and that of Finlay from ECW to SmackDown! was arbitrary, aside from the fact that it is McMahonagement's apparent wish to establish new developmental graduate and Irish-born Sheamus aside and apart from Finlay, a good idea. However, it strikes me that both exceptional veterans hailing from The UK have a lot to teach these rookies, and Finlay basically tagged in Regal for this round, and I am fine with that. They weren't doing dick with Regal on Mondays since he dropped The ICT to Punk, he may as well go where he may be most useful; Finlay's already proven himself to be valuable in either denomination and can always go in the ring, so he's an interchangeable fixture good to go wherever.

Aside from being the rookie step-to program, ECW also has the possible benefit of allowing stalled talent a place to go to recharge and reinvigorate his/her performance/perception (which is why I think we see Vladimir Kozlov and, now, Goldust, on Tuesday, although the latter performer could simply be in a place where McMahonagement is scratching its head with respect to how to utilize a character at its best when it's edgy…just ask Scott Hall).

The question is, do you buy the new (5SC-predicted) face Mark Henry? Sure, he made a splash (figuratively and literally) by pinning The WWEC Randy Orton (by the way, could someone please get a new television for Batista…? He seems to have found his foot inside of it…), but is Chubbuh (as I like to call him) simply using his ample hinder to keep a top spot warm for Big Dave? Or are we really seeing the birth of a new top level face on the flagship show? If The Henry Experiment goes well and fans actually buy him, I think we'd have to suggest a new day might be dawning for WWE, and that, not only is the current brand lit model working, emphasis being on ECW, that McMahonagement has finally found its niche in marketing to kids, who are all likely too young to recall the injuries that kept him sidelined the better part of his multi-million dollar, decade-long contract, for having fathered a hand with a woman so old her cell phone has a rotary dial or for being tied down by Goldust's ex-wife and BEER MONEY's former manager and tortured with gerbils and vibrators; rather, all they see is a big, drippy teddy bear. It could work. Hell, look at THE BUSHWACKERS.

So, to that end, I'm a bit reticent to mess with ECW in this plan to deep-six the brand split, however, how exactly do we have a separate roster for Tuesday nights without making it obvious to all that it is what it has apparently become, implied success rate aside? Wouldn't noobs be looked upon with even greater scrutiny? Worse, yet, wouldn't a Monday or Friday night roster member not a Finlay or Regal be viewed as a public demotion? This is what I mean about there being a greater difficulty at work in attempting to end the split now.

Finally, with respect to the switches instigated by Trump coughthatIcalledcough where the ladies are concerned, emphasis has undoubtedly been switched to Monday nights. The Monday night Divas roster now has:

Alicia Fox, an up-&-comer if she can continue to improve at her current rate,

Jillian Hall, a solid hand who doesn't get her true due because her gimmick overshadows her talent, especially when she's only used to make Barbie dolls look better than they really are,

Mickie James, one of the best all-around women ever to hold gold,

Kelly Kelly, who showed promise as she really improved quickly, though has since stalled, however still is the hottest Diva under the WWE umbrella,

Gail Kim, stepping up in the trade and giving Mondays tone with her fantastic ability,

Maryse, not the best wrestler in the bunch, but is improving and has such a solid grasp of her own evolving brand of personal bitch psychology that I really look forward to cheering her matches, as opposed to cringing in apprehension when she came to the ring,

Beth Phoenix, the best woman in The Divas Division, period, and,

Rosa Mendes, who has looked okay thus far, although really hasn't had much opportunity to step out of Beth's shadow yet (as is the case with Fox in McCool's respect).

That's a decent roster, all basically capable of filling the five minutes they get a week to put on some fun and entertaining matches.

However, The Women's Division on Fridays has been left quite anemic as a consequence:

Layla, sells well and has a solid grasp of heel psychology, in ring and out, but just doesn't dish it out well,

Maria, cute and fun, but just not meant to wrestle,

Michelle McCool, who I like a lot more in the ring than most, apparently, despite her clumsy promos,

Melina, who I like much better as a spiteful, Catch U Next Tuesday heel bitch, but her face pops cannot be denied and is a better wrestler than I've given her credit for being here in the past,

Eve Torres, just…shudder. On all fronts. We're losing Lillian Garcia, but we're stuck with Skele-Torres, and

Natalya, who is so adept at real wrestling she could take the entire Women's Division on at once.

It's a shame Katie Lea Burchill is stuck over on ECW with her capable, but, calling a spade a spade, go-nowhere brother, because we could use her on Friday nights now.

So maybe there is a call for ending the Brand Split. There's an undercard to consider, even if McMahonagement seems content to let ECW build its new stars, it takes time to properly groom new talent for the long haul and there are a lot of performers already currently employed by WWE who could stand some air time…and yet we hear from WWE that a current "lack of roster depth" prevents us from having a proper tag division. As any fan of THE KILLER BEES or THE ORIENT EXPRESS can tell you, isn't that what we historically do with talented, although not necessarily upwardly mobile performers under Vince's employ?

The basic catalyst for this article is my old pal thegunisgood, who was the person who opened my eyes to the absolute fact that not everyone on your roster is going to be a champion, a bankable star or even warmly remembered by fans in twenty years, but, chin up, young bucks, for those who actually do make it to WWE, especially in today's claustrophobic climate where even televised (forget high-paying) positions in the North-American professional wrestling industry are concerned, all needn't be lost. If I'm seeing thegun's vision through my eyes, there could be some definite benefits to ending the brand split along these lines.

Let's look at the top of the combined card. The main event would consist of Edge, Jeff Hardy, CM Punk, The Undertaker, Batista, The Big Show, John Cena, Shawn Michaels, Triple H and Randy Orton. Now there's an impressive list. We also have the option of bleeding the lines of the main event and the upper mid-card to include Chris Jericho, Kane, John Morrison, Rey Mysterio, Christian, The Miz, MVP and Jack Swagger.

Hmm. That's a lot of people, though. A-ha! However, with this many folks at the top of the card, we can afford to cycle some of the veterans out the way we're seeing done with Taker, HBK and Kane to ensure their best health, minimize risks, and reward those at the top a bit of a reprieve from the hectic WWE schedule, thus, in theory, at least, extending the careers of Taker, Batista, Show, HBK, Kane and HHH. Hell, haven't we even heard comments from Edge and Chris Jericho that they can't bounce back as quickly as they used to ten years ago? Might this not be a wise move, then, all things considered, the least of which being the whole "absence makes the heart grow fonder" axiom that has helped to improve WWE's international live gates? It could also allow for the assumed next generation of main-eventers the opportunity to garner some big time top-of-the-card experience before they have to make or break because the established guard has been forced into retirement or an extended/repeated ring absence because of having been stretched too thin in the waning years of his career.

So, then, in addition to our upper-mid-card of Chris Jericho, Kane, John Morrison, Rey Mysterio, Christian, The Miz, MVP and Jack Swagger, we also have Finlay, Matt Hardy, Tommy Dreamer, Dolph Ziggler, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder and Vladimir Kozlov who could also conceivably round out the rest of the male singles' roster, although, again, concerning the ECW conundrum, these names are not written in stone, and, because I drew up these plans before the Trump trade was announced, I'm not including the recent additions to the ECW roster.

Here's another snag in the plan to repeal The Brand Split – do we really want to go through another whole ordeal where we see titles unified and retired? Granted, if there's a stalwart plan in place, one that has been thoughtfully considered and not as seemingly capricious and arbitrary as was the last round, I might be able to get on board. However, this whole thing with the "Unified" tag belts? I'm not buying the fact that the are truly unified until I see one set of belts. I just get the sense that McMahonagement are leasing with a proverbial option to buy here and not committing to a committed course of action until it's convinced one way or another, although if they do take the plunge and unify the titles 100%, could other belts follow? Here's something I've been considering along those lines, if it comes down to one mid-card title, would Vince ultimately choose The InterContinental Title, steeped in his own company's tradition, or the more patriotic United States Title (which is now being featured on the precious flagship show, for the first time).

Back to talk of the roster itself, I want to run support to reader The Great Captain Smooth's idea of THE ODDITIES 2009, or, as he preferred to call them, THE FREAK PATROL. For those who didn't catch it before, Schmoove suggested the idea of putting Santino Marella, Goldust, Hornswoggle and Festus together in one faction on Raw and, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it was the very next installment that we saw them all together in an eight-man tag match. If we're ending the split, I say add in Funaki and Khali, as well. Given Vince's penchant for "Beauty & the Beast" pairings, I think dumb Maria would work really well here, too, but, considering we've seen her smarten up considerably, that might not be the best course of action, although she did suddenly wise up with no explanation, she could dumb down again without reason, especially if it was entertaining (and kept her ring time to a minimum).

Now, to the rest of the roster. This is where we create a tag division. I'm not saying they have to be as vibrant as the tag scene during The Attitude Era, rather I'm harkening back to the days of Gorilla Monsoon and Jesse Ventura's commentary, when WrestleMania was in the single digits. There were teams who all had varying levels of talent, some with one guy obviously more adept at his craft than the other paired up to give the other guy a crutch (RHYTHM & BLUES) or two lower-level performers who weren't really going to see any main events, but were better together than apart (STRIKE FORCE, THE BEES) and others who had no talent readily seen, but were entertaining to the majority (THE BUSHWHACKERS…yes, I know about their previous incarnation as THE SHEEPHERDERS). The important thing was that they were there to entertain and provide a basic talent pool by which to build up the real upwardly mobile teams like THE HART FOUNDATION, DEMOLITION and THE BRAINBUSTERS. I'm confident we could have that again.

Keep the following pre-existing teams in tact:

CRYME TYME: Shad Gaspard & JTG
THE HART DYNASTY: Tyson Kydd & David Hart Smith
LOS COLONS: Carlito & Primo Colon
PRICELESS: Ted DiBiase & Cody Rhodes

Do not split up Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (in fact, I say pair them up with THE BELLA TWINS: Bella & Brie…hell, throw in Gail Kim and call them THE BENETTON LOVE CONNECTION…I'm kidding), plus, once Joe Hennig heals, call him up to tag with Brian Kendrick, and that's the core of your tag division, the teams with which Creative has an agenda to feature.

Now, the following teams will exist to entertain and enhance the above teams…unless one of them should actually catch on and be a hit, then, by all means, see how far hey can excel! What do you think:

R-Truth & Ezekiel Jackson – It's my understanding (and I could certainly be wrong) that Zeke is down development polishing his skills. He may or may not be ready to be brought back up, but I'm thinking in terms of image and effectiveness. Truth has the flashy moves and the exuberant personality, whereas we could see Zeke as his stoic, dangerous partner with the scary physique and the power moves.

Chavo Guerrero & Ricky Ortiz – Again, back to the notion of mentorship. Ortiz has the charisma and the basics down, but fails to really incite any real kind of reaction from anyone. When he gets pinned, the ovation is for the victor, not because they hate Ortiz and are happy to see him get his ass handed to him. Chavo is an experienced heel and a fantastic performer in the air and on the mat. The fact that nobody has been paired up with him to sit under his learning tree amazes me. And why not hook them up with Eve Torres, to boot?

Jesse & Mike Knox – A different take on Truth & Zeke (in fact, this could be the first program for each). Jesse is a great little wrestler but ended up playing straight man to Festus in his last tag effort. Why not serious him up and have him paired with ultra scary Knox? It keeps Knox from talking as Jesse is just fine on the mic, and allows him to do what he should be doing, kicking people's asses.

Jamie Noble & Jimmy Wang Yang – Now we know these two aren't going anywhere, but can go in the ring. Instead of having them hanging out separately on different brands, doesn't make more sense to "Blair & Brunzell" them as the two plucky rednecks who entertain and wow us, even if they don't ever really score that one victory that could help to propel them up the ranks (especially when we know that's not their purpose)?

William Regal, Paul Burchill & DJ Gabriel – We've discussed this here before and I still merit in putting these three Brits together in a united front, especially with Katie Lea Burchill and Layla in tow. Let people cry about WWE stealing TNA's BRITISH INVASION idea…they've done worse in this vein and made it work (see previous discussions referring to THE ROAD WARRIORS and DEMOLITION). Regal is the obvious leader and, again, we revert back to the tried & true mentorship concept, as both Burchill and Gabriel (whose real name is Steven Lewington, and should revert back to that name for this faction) stand to learn from working so closely with such an amazing hand as Regal. This, I would suggest, should be a stable that receives a good amount of attention and gets a shot at moving up the ranks.

Jim Duggan & Curt Hawkins – Quite frankly, I'd be just as fine with getting Duggan off the active roster and signing him to a Legends/Agent contract and getting rid of Hawkins altogether, but I didn't want to base this article on putting anyone in front of a firing squad. Duggan always gets a favorable response from fans and he might be able to perform a proxy personality bypass on Hawkins, as well as, again, be something of a mentor to the kid if he's going to be employed, and I've always said, if a performer is going to be employed, they may as well be used.

I'm not suggesting Raw revolve around these teams, or that we even see them all the time. Perhaps Superstars is where we start out with some of these lower-level teams, such as the program between Truth & Zeke and Jesse & Knox. If it grows some legs, feature it on one of the other shows and see how far it can go? The worst that happens is a wasted segment, OR we might end up with a new talent ready to ascend.

I've not convinced myself that ending the Brand Split is the right thing to do at this juncture as there are so many issues that must occur to make it so, although there definitely seem to be benefits that shouldn't be immediately dismissed. I mean, the PPVs are already all tri-branded. I want to hear what you think of both the notion of either ending or keeping the Split, as well as to my suggestion where the teams are concerned. Please share your comments!



COMMENTPALOOZA
Great, a load of smarks giving their worthless opinions about the workings of a business they don't understand anywhere near as much as they think the do! Awesome!
Posted By: Guest#7235

Good call Guest 7235! I hope that you realize that sarcasm is the lowest form of humor. Awesome! You rock!

FYI: You just gave your opinion and your on a wrestling website. Ergo, you are a smark giving his opinion.

Back to the real stuff:
Who did MVP screw over to get de-pushed like he has? The man is much better on the mike and in the ring than Cody or Ted, yet he never gets a true push. Wait HHH needs to get back in the main event scene. I totally get it now.
Posted By: Iron Knee

I love it when the Comments section polices itself. You I see you guys moonlighting on other columns, but I consider you my readers…LOL. Yes, 7235, if that's your real name, we are a bunch of smarks giving our worthless opinions about a business we really don't know understand. Welcome to The IWC, dickweed. You, me, all of us, that's what we are and I'm not afraid to admit it. But, had you bothered to actually read the entire article, there was a lot of other stuff besides simple assumption and speculation going on there. Your loss.

Iron Knee, I know! It seems to me that he got lost in the shuffle of the musical faces at the top of the card as people cycle in and out, based upon injury, to say nothing of the confusion surrounding the whole Trump and three-hour Raw hoohahs. Add to that the apparent fact that it was McMahonagement's intention to reprise MVP and Matt Hardy's war over The UST (that was disallowed a satisfactory and meaningful resolution because of the interruptions caused by medical issues on both sides of the fence) since they were both on Raw, only for Matt to rack up a broken hand and a torn Abdominal back-to-back and it might be back to the drawing board for MVP. If he drops the belt soon in somewhat meaningless fashion, I'd start to be concerned about the well-being of his employment. Just a hunch.

Hey Geoff, I've been reading, but haven't had much to say lately. Just wanted to drop in and tell you to keep up the awesome writing.

Oh, and meth does suck. I seen that shit ruin the lives of several members of my family. Being on the outside looking in, made it a lot easier to avoid the drug, seeing what it did to people. But when you are on that shit, it really does consume everything you do. It all becomes about getting that next buzz, no matter what. So if that is what Umaga, or any other wrestler is using, it is easy to see that wrestling would not be their passion anymore, but would instead become a means to an end. In that light, seeing someone walk away from the business instead of getting help doesn't seem to far-fetched. If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that if someone has a problem, they will not get help, until they are ready, and not anything, or anybody is going to change that.

To The Dude: if you want to see all walks of life doing meth, look no further than Iowa. I've seen users of meth from all walks of life. Different races, different financial brackets, nobody is immune to the potential "fun time" that attracts people to recreational drugs in the first place. I can't really get you pictures, as I don't think I could just walk up and say "Hey, some dude on a website wants to see if Samoans take meth.. Can I have your picture?" :P

One last thing, this column needs a banner. You should talk to The Dude, he does good work. He made a banner for me for the Games Top 5.
Posted By: Todd Vote

Great to hear from you, Toddo, and thanks for the encouragement! Yeah, I forget who said it, I think it was you, actually, who suggested I was losing my smile…lol! Well, I feel like I'm getting a second wind these days and last week was actually more for my benefit as I started to "rehab" my chops, so it doesn't surprise me that it didn't inspire a lot of comments. I'm not bothered by that. As a character of the new Representative of Minnesota might say, "Last week wasn't one of my better shows." I said from the beginning of writing this column, if I do my job properly, then I encourage you, the readers, to comment, thus we start a conversation. Hopefully I'm grinning wide and back on track this week and shall continue to gather momentum as the weeks roll by.

With respect to meth, yeah, again, so horrible. I recall attending a party my first Halloween back in Bakersfield from San Francisco and seeing someone I used to mess around with pretty regularly for the first time in three years and just didn't recognize him. The pretty little face I used to dig so much was gaunt and pale and he'd had installed summer teeth in the interim (I'm assuming you know what summer teeth are).

I had an actual ex whose job required him to travel and the first time we met up after having split, he'd dropped a noticeable amount of weight (and he didn't need to at all to begin with!), had skin that looked like a pizza made of nonfat mozzarella, all pallid, pock-marked and greasy and he'd become the most sarcastic, bitter, spiteful cunt. He was there with seven other co-workers and, I shit you not, five of them separately approached me and told me how much better off I was without him.

And when I learned from them that he'd been cheating on me aggressively while we were supposed to have been seeing one another, I nailed his roommate and made out with his best friend in front of him their last night in town. See? Rednecks and queens have so much more in common than most think (bitter laugh).

Back to rasslin, though, do we know Umaga's left the business altogether or has he simply walked away from WWE? The two do not equate. I suppose it really isn't our business what he's doing in his spare time, and we're pretty much being the equivalent of clucky hens in the barnyard…it's not as if we know him personally or anything and care for him specifically such that we'd consider staging an intervention. However, it is human nature to want to know the entire story in such situations, especially when someone in his position was making what we must assume to be decent-to-good money doing something we assume he loves to do walks away from a promising career with the company that represents being at the top of his field. I said it last week and I'll repeat it here, I don't think we've seen the last of Umaga in WWE, especially since this isn't the first time he's been wished the best in his future endeavors.

I've gotta disagree with your claim that Jericho is the bigger heel of his tandem with Edge.

Edge has been solidly entrenched in the main event scene since his breakout 2006 feud with Cena. Since then he's lengthy feuds with DX, Batista, the Undertaker and WWE's "hottest" commodity right now, Jeff Hardy. In my opinion, until Orton won that triple threat at last year's Wrestlemania, Edge was THE #1 heel in WWE.

Chris Jericho, on the other hand, has spent more time involved with the IC Title since his late-2007 return than he has in the main event scene. After his re-debut in that WWE Title match against Orton - which he won by DQ and never received a rematch - Jericho had his short, ultimately pointless program with JBL, followed by his regaining the Intercontinental strap. It wasn't until his heel turn and captivating feud with Shawn Michaels that he started to gain serious momentum. He surprised everyone by winning the World Championship last September, but was knocked back out of the main event scene by the end of the year, just in time to start smacking around the legends. Since his victory - and ultimate humiliation - at WM25, he's had a great feud over the IC Title (again) with Rey Mysterio. Bottom line, though: it's still the mid-card.

What I'm saying is, even if Jericho is getting more heat right now, Edge is more established. Since Jericho has been around longer, however, and had already won world titles while Edge was just breaking out as a singles competitor, they're probably about even in the fans' eyes.

Simply put, Edge may or may not be a bigger heel - a bigger star - than Chris Jericho, but Jericho is definitely not a bigger heel than Edge.

Wow, I took a throwaway sentence from you, Eubanks, and really turned it into something, well, long.
Posted By: KanyonKreist

I absolutely see your point and you make it well, Kanyon, as usual. As a matter of fact all I had to read was "Edge has been solidly entrenched…" and I knew exactly where you were going. And your argument, as you state it, is completely infallible. However, I just don't think, should it come down to it, the fans would be more inclined to cheer Jericho as readily as they would be Edge and that, to me, is the true measure, the placing of both on the proverbial scale and weighing their "heelitude".

It strikes me that Edge was in a better situation than Jericho ever was, because he was homegrown WWE, whereas Jericho was a WCW convert. Granted, Jericho rose to prominence under the WWE umbrella, but he also started bumping his head with respect to how high he could reasonably expect to ascend. There's a reason why he's held The ICT more times than Edge has been a world champion. Had Jericho not left the company to pursue other interests and then returned, I think he'd be a lot less happy and enthusiastic than he is now (incidentally, check out the differences between Jericho and Christian, both who left the company, but for different reasons, and check out who's in a better position).

However, I will grant you that it's my hunch that fans would be happier booing Jericho at this point because we've seen the heel Edge, the ultimate opportunist for a good long while now and I think people are more interested in seeing a) a fresher act (which Jericho's relatively newer character certainly is), and b) what else Edge has to offer (like whether or not he has it in him to be a legitimate heel who can win a world title in some way other than being the right man at the right time screwing the boss to catch as many breaks as he can).

Like I said, you make a hell of a lot of sense, but your story has another side to it, as far as I'm concerned, as most stories do.

You said: So rather than belaboring the point of The Draft, shall we, instead, consider ending the split…?

B-I-N-G-O!!!!

I never liked the brand split. I gave too many of things I didn't need.

Too many titles
Too many false hopes
Too much illusion
Too much congestion at the top

I believe the main reason we have a tremendous lack in tag team wrestling is because of the brand split. When you have countless single's titles to chase (and have #1 contender's matches for) why bother to sweat over 2 tag team belts (now one)?

I understand the philosophy of the brand split but you just have to call a terd a terd sometimes. The brand split is indeed a terd.

Plus...as if WWE didn't learn anything from WCW attempting to have 2 exclusive shows...you got endless silly workers who had no business on my TV. Zach Gowen, Hornswoggle, Eugene and anything involving a Diva. All of this "entertainment" was brought about because they had less and less meaningful value to pack into these shows each week, since the saturation of titles made them meaningless in the long run.

Let's put it this way, Jake "The Milkman" Milliman would have held multiple belts in this era.

I say (have said) dissolve the brands, make is a tighter E in the process. Groom the talent via the tag team ranks, so they can learn how to do it all before they are given the single's ball.

A $22 Fajita! That is some fajita!!!
Posted By: thegunisgood

It was a chicken fajita burrito, grilled chicken, peppers, onions, served enchilada-style with a huge side of rice and beans. I discovered after I paid the check that all of The Abbey's special items are $16 entrees, so once you add on tax & tip, I ended up with a $22 burrito. A damn good $22 burrito and more than I wanted to spend, but an awesome dinner (that didn't even include the martinis!).

I have to say I take issue with some of your reasons for disapproving of the split. I'm not sure I follow your vague assertions of there being false hopes and illusions (is Doug Hennig Raw's GM next week?!), and, if anything to me, there were more singles titles during The Attitude Era than on a per brand basis now. Too, as today's article displayed, without a split there's a more congestion at the bottom of the card. With a combined roster, as I said, Raw doesn't have to scramble and bring over Mark Henry to stall for time until Batista heals and SD! doesn't have to continue to push Edge when he's plainly expressed that he's hurting. Like I said, a combined roster allows a less demanding schedule for its top tier players and can be used to extent the careers of its aging stars. It seems we agree on the premise, but for different reasons.

The fact is, I suspect we don't have tag team wrestling because Vince only cares about working with the top level of his talent and nobody else has a clue how to write for teams because none of these Hollywood writers ever grew up watching it. And you know we'd have Hornswoggle, Zach Gowen, Eugene and Divas because loves that shit. And remember, he knows what we want more than we do and that's exactly what he gives us.

I have no idea who this Milkman is, but we most certainly agree on your final statement! I'm anxious most of all to hear your thoughts on this week's column, as you were the catalyst for it!

Do you really think Cena is clean 365 days a year? Really?
Posted By: Dr J

Obviously, I am no authority. At my best physical shape, I had a swimmer's build because I swam. DUH! The whole bodybuilding thing never appealed to me, so I never educated myself about anything along those lines, certainly not steroids. I know Cena has a degree in exercise physiology, so that, to me, means he knows how to make the most of his workouts and maximize his results, although the other side of that coin could mean he also knows how to fudge things to his advantage in the most intelligent manner (if there is an intelligent way to cheat). I think because I want to believe this children's hero is as good a guy as he seems, I want to believe he is what he appears to be without resorting to poisoning himself with this crap, but then again, I lived through the Hogan era (although I only bought his bullshit prayers and vitamins act for about five minutes before I called bullshit on it).

Geoff, thanks for the props! That bastard Trump had to go on and trade Goldust away to ECW! My life may never feel complete again. I noticed that you got Henry on Raw correct and as a face! Does that mean we have WWESP? That was bad. Maybe we should travel to state fairs and wow the locals with our "ability"?

Onto the Blair, whether the kids deserved it or not, that wasn't cool and I hope the family turns out ok.

Finally, with Masters, let's have him show up on the Titantron and talk about what happened to him and how he is here to make up for lost time. I'd love to see a good comeback story. The trick for him is to not to get preachy with his message. Tell what he did, ask for forgiveness and see where it goes.
Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth

Fear not, Schmoove, I laughed at WWESP. We really do seem to be tapped into their creative meetings, don't we? All right, I'll admit it…Heyman gave me the number to conference in, with the warning, "But whatever you do, do not click off before Stephanie!" Hmm…what does that say about us…?!

I don't think any kid deserves to be beaten down by his dad under normal disciplinary circumstances (although they can sure make it tempting…like Chris Rock said, "I don't condone it…but I understand…!"), but we weren't there and we don't know what happened. It seems as if the oldest is somewhat troubled somehow, so I hope that all works out for the best for all involved.

Sorry, dood, I can't get into your Masters scenario, although I'm not into him coming back at all. Your description 1) sounds like an invitation for fans who remember him to boo him (and I mean in an XPac heat kind of way), and/or for newer fans to think, "Geez, what a puss," and not respect him from the start of his second run, and 2) that you're asking him to act well above his means and ability to act at all. Just as Melina is so much better as the spiteful bitch (although she's proven she works well as a face, too), Masters doesn't have to work at all to come off as that snide, clueless, meatheat tool jock and I think, if nothing else and if only in the beginning, that's how he should be handled.

Gotta make it short and sweet. Up in Flair Country (NC) "vacationing" by helping my wife take care of her mother (Alzheimer's sucks worse than meth) and only have a few minutes.

I did cross the finish line (as well as take a raincheck to redeem my manhood the next night) by developing my Jedi-like vibrator skills that dreadful night.

I'm excited about the scattering of the ECW stars. Henry the face, Bourne, and Swagger on Mondays should be decent and I'm looking forward to the Harts on Fridays.

Have a happy fourth, Geoff!
Posted By: Angry Bear

I'm sorry about your mother-in-law. I lost my Grandmother to Alzheimer's. It's a horrible, horrible disease that robs the elderly of their dignity and the ability to pass with grace. Thankfully, it appears as if it's a disease that will eventually be curable, but too late for our loved ones. You guys are really brave and I totally respect you.

Yeah, I wish I'd've been a little more inventive in my finish line story, but I never thought too well on that stuff. I'm so glad even my addictive personality said no to that shit!

Incidentally, did I share with the studio audience that I laid down a couple voice-overs for my company's pitch to LucasArts as Obi-Wan Kenobi? Our national director of flash technology, who also happens to be a huge Star Wars buff, personally came to my desk to thank and congratulate me on a job they "couldn't have gotten from anyone else"? It's a shame because no one but my co-workers and the "pitchees" will hear it, but it was still an honor to do it!

I, too, look forward to the post-scattering landscape (with the exception of the Women's Division). Like I said, ECW seems to be succeeding in purpose!

Whilst reading the comment saying how terrible Carlito and Primo were I was thinking "man, do I disagree with that! Better write a comment!", then read on to see I already had and had forgotten about it.

Carlito and Primo both have pretty explosive movesets, they have cool personas (Primo needs fleshed out more characterwise - perhaps through a feud with Carlito at some point?) and call me a sucker, but I love Carlito's gimmick (I wish he had brought his apple with him to see Teddy Long at the Bash). When I was at the house show in Belfast this year I have to admit I spontaneously stood up and started applauding when Carlito spat his apple (hey, watching wrestling is about having fun, remember!).

I also watched Carlito v Orton from a couple of years back recently, and it was a top quality match. Orton seems to mention Carlito quite a lot as an upcoming star in interviews and the like...Carlito for Legacy! :P

I think Carlito still managing to get title belts after his repeated attempts at career suicide show he must be held in good regard somewhere....he's a big favourite of mine anyway.
Posted By: Ryan

Everyone's certainly allowed to like whomever they choose. I can't share your enthusiasm for Carlito for a variety of reasons, but I respect the fact that you dig his gig. I can get on board with you with respect to the team's moveset a lot sooner than I can support your fandom over his character, which I find to be one-dimensional and shallow, although that's better than Primo, who, thus far, we know likes skinny chicks and competition, but that's fairly epidemic all over WWE at the moment, not just a Colon symptom. I'm glad you remembered to comment!

That's all for this week! Thanks for reading…RESPECK!