Match A Day 07.16.09: Week 13 - Markham is Not Toronto ROH

Posted by Jake Chambers on 07.16.2009

In my last week on vacation in suburban Toronto, I watch matches from ROH’s Canadian countryside show in Markham, Ontario.

Previously on Match A Day:

I returned to my hometown in suburban Toronto for a vacation… "I haven't been back home in almost ten years, yet I've been asked to be the best man at my friend's wedding."

The Groom… "asked if I would hold onto his wedding rings at the ceremony…" but gave me the bands… "a whole 3 days before the wedding."

Recently "…since I got this new Guitar Hero [Metallica]… I was having a hard time playing certain songs due to a frightening new nerve pain running through my left arm."

After a near break up and the revelation that my girlfriend Suzy was pregnant, "after five years, now we are back together full time, and it's driving me insane!"

In a confusing situation prior to the wedding, I was going to borrow a suit from my friend Digger, but it turned out to be a horrible green, so I gave it back, but … "it wasn't until I was on my way to the resort to stay overnight before the wedding, that I realized that I'd left the wedding rings in the pocket of that damn ugly suit!"

And now MAD Week 13 begins…

Match #85 – Saturday, June 27th
Davey Richards vs. Jerry Lynn
[ROH Bound by Hate, Novermber 2008]

If there is one thing I know, and that's Markham is not Toronto. The wedding I had to attend was almost 2 hours away from the Yonge & Bathurst Center of the City of Toronto, which is closer but similar to Markham since they're both so countryside style. Ring of Honor, on the other hand, tried to promote this Bound by Hate show as taking place ‘near' Toronto, but you might as well be calling a show at the Buffalo HSBC Arena as being right outside of Manhattan. Markham, Ontario is definitely not Toronto.


A sprawling metropolis

I had to come clean to my friend about leaving his wedding rings in that other suit. The Groom was not happy, but he realized the predicament we were in and didn't throw a fit. Considering the distance, there was no way I was going to get to Digger's house and back before the start of the ceremony. What do you do in a situation like this? You turn to the veterans.

Jerry Lynn once again rears his head in the tomes of MAD, and once again he plays the role of beaten down old wrestler, but this time strangely gets in very little comeback offense. In a totally shocking match (and one that may expose some level of short sightedness on the part of the new booking regime in ROH) the soon to be (continuity-wise) ROH Champion, is absolutely dominated by Davey, who ended things quite quickly with an awesome looking Alarm Clock kick / DR Driver combination.

Hopefully the veterans at the wedding are more effective. The Groom and I went to see his father to tell him about the problem. His solution, use the father and mother's wedding bands, and then switch them back later in the week. His one caution though, don't tell the bride!

Match #86 – Sunday, June 28th
Kenny King & Rhett Titus vs. Brodie Lee & Delirious
[ROH Bound by Hate, November 2008]

Two makeshift teams here, both bad guys, trying to incorporate the Titus/Delirious feud that was derailed by the unconvincing Delirious heel-turn. Nothing special in this match, and I was glad it was short too since I was exhausted from the previous night, which all in all, went pretty well.

After waking up and watching this match, I called Digger to tell him I was going to come over to get the rings first thing in the morning. Horrifyingly, he told me that his mother had already taken the suit to the dry cleaners!

Nonsense of the Week: As they went through the motions, eventually the Age of the Fall chased the ever-so dangerous Titus to the back, leaving King in the ring to win the match by count-out, for the singularly lame reason of finding a way to begin establishing ROH's new fangled 20-count rule that was instituted that weekend… weak!

Match #87 – Monday, June 29th
Wargames Match: Brian Pillman, Sting & Steiner Brothers vs. Ric Flair, Barry Windham, Larry Zbyszko & Sid Vicious
[WrestleWar 1991, February 1991]

Before I get into the match, I'll tell you that I decided to enter into my own steel death trap on this day. I headed over to the luxurious national theme park Canada's Wonderland to check out the new massively steep roller coaster ‘The Behemoth'!



For some odd reason, after taking my second plunge on this horrifically exhilarating coaster, my left shoulder began to seriously tingle. As I'd mentioned in the past, this shoulder and fingers were especially bothering me following long bouts of Guitar Hero Metallica. It was extra scary to feel it just from a roller coaster ride.

I wouldn't have thought it was possible, but even the crowd on a weekday afternoon at a countryside Canadian amusement park somehow even made the wacky hillbilly crowd in Phoenix, for this WrestleWar event, look classy. This match is pretty good, but Wargames matches are generally predictable and dull. The concept has always had so much potential though, and that's why I wish the WWE would bring in the gimmick because it would be cool to see what it could look like done right.

The most notable famous moment from this match is the messed up powerbomb Sid Vicious gives Brian Pillman, where his legs hit the top of the cage making Sid dump him prematurely on his neck. How Pillman ever walked again after that fuck up is a mystery. I wonder if he ever experienced any tingling in his arms after this?



You may have noticed, or simply remembered, that the Wargames cage used two rings… yes, I'm gonna go there. The two rings from the wedding, that were left in the pocket of a horrible green suit that I refused to wear, were retrieved by the dry cleaner, and Digger informed me that he was safely in possession of the rings. Now, how to get it on the bride's finger without her noticing!

Match #88 – Tuesday, June 30th
20-Man Battle Royal
[Battle at Royal Albert Hall, October 1991]



I went over to Digger's and we watched this match over lunch, after he presented me with the rings. We brainstormed ways in which is might be possible to get one planted on a finger without someone noticing. He had some ridiculous plan that involved a fake mustache and a bucket of butter (what would you expect from a dude who has a bright green suit) but soon we forgot about all that and were swept up in the magic that was 1991 World Wrestling Federation.



Match #89 – Wednesday, July 1st
Dog Collar Match: Austin Aries vs. Jimmy Jacobs
[ROH Bound by Hate, November 2008]

A good match between these intense rivals, and a great use of the dog collar chain throughout. I particularly liked Jimmy's refusal to wear the chain in the beginning because of the poetic justice when he got busted open by the loose chain later. And boy does he ever get busted open!



Genius of the Week: MAD favorite Aries found a nice innovative way to incorporate a classic gimmick with his new age finisher the Last Chancery, by wrapping the chain around the knee and thigh that he uses for striking the head of Jacobs, before arching backwards in a bridge for the neck twisting submission.

Match #90 – Thursday, July 2nd
3-Way: Tyler Black vs. Kenny Omega vs. Bryan Danielson
[ROH Bound by Hate, Novermber 2008]

This match had it's moments, but nothing better than the razor sharp roaring elbow that Danielson does on Omega in the end that slices Omega open the hard way and gives Dragon the opening for the MMA elbows and Cattle Mutilation for the win.

I do remember when this match happened hearing a lot about it, especially from my friends who were in attendance, and particularly about the double Cattle Mutilation Dragon put on the two men. Well, in my opinion, that move looked absolutely horrible and super fake. I'll give them credit fro trying something, but I think someone as smart as Danielson would have anticipated just how dumb this was going to look. Good match still.

As for the three-way action The Groom and I had to pull to fix the ring debacle, would you believe that I went to the jewelry store, where we told the bride the rings had to be taken for some fitting/cleaning nonsense, and that I dressed up in a fake mustache and pretended to be the guy behind the counter so that I could covertly switch the rings? Or would it be more acceptable to you that I just had to slip the guy who worked at the store twenty bucks? Either way, the plan went off without a hitch, the proper rings were on the happy couple, and my work here was complete.

Match #91 – Friday, July 3rd
ROH Tag Team Titles Match: Kevin Steen & El Generico vs. Jay & Mark Briscoe
[ROH Bound by Hate, Novermber 2008]



In my opinion, the Briscoes are the best tag team of the past decade. Honestly, that's not saying much given the competition, especially Stateside, where teams like America's Most Wanted and Miz and Morrison, who wouldn't even be on the level of the Killer Bees or Rougeau Brothers historically, are heralded at the top of many best of lists.

I am afraid that they may end up like the Eliminators, an ECW and independent based tag team that never saw the mainstream success that their reputation predicted. Unlike the Motor City Machine Guns (who were both on the same flight as me from Detroit to Tokyo) who have been able to keep their wrestling credibility in spite of going mainstream, I fear for the Briscoes being stuck in a place where they become like those Eliminators, or maybe New Jack, Reckless Youth, or even worse, Furnas and Lafon!

The match was good, maybe not as fast paced or as epic as their encounters with Steen & Generico from 2007, but the 3rd act had some nice highlights, and the ‘Toronto' fans were pretty into it.

All of my Toronto fans turned out for a massive farewell at the Pearson International Airport for my goodbye. On the other side, waiting for me at the Incheon International Airport in Seoul was going to be my pregnant girlfriend Suzy, who informed me via email that upon my arrival she was going to have a huge surprise for me … good god!