The Wrestling News Experience: 07.20.09
Posted by Stephen Randle on 07.20.2009
We've got Victory Road results, a preview of a beard-filled Raw, Lashley signs while Hardy may not, Faarooq makes it to a Hall of Fame while Goldberg attempts to outwit small children, and, of course, Buddy!
Monday, July 13th, 2009
From 411Mania's Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!
Not Affiliated With The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience, I'm Stephen Randle, and this week, I'm hooked on Kingdom Hearts. Why didn't anyone tell me I shouldn't have traded it in years ago without even finishing the first world? Now I'm far too old to be playing games made by Disney, and simultaneously can't help but keep going.
In better nostaglic news, LucasArts just released a special edition of Secret of Monkey Island with better graphics and actual voice acting. If you played it back then, you should buy it. If you're too young to remember it, you also should buy it. That should cover everyone.
Hey, why are we trading the best pitcher in baseball? Shouldn't we be trying to get rid of the dead weight instead? Surely someone must be willing to take a center fielder with a .200 average, less than a dozen home runs and barely more RBI's, all for the low cost of eighteen million dollars a season? Better yet, can we just get him to switch contracts with Halladay? Surely there's got to be a loophole somewhere.
Angelina Love defeated Tara to win the TNA Knockouts Title (pinfall, lateral press)
Matt Morgan defeated Daniels (pinfall, Hellevator)
Fallen Angel, Curry Man, Daniels, it turns out no matter what name you give him, he's still not going to be the all-powerful main eventer everyone wants.
Abyss defeated Dr. Stevie in a No DQ match (pinfall, Tazer)
Team 3D defeated The British Invasion to retain the IWGP Tag Team Titles (pinfall, 3D)
Doesn't it sort of give away the ending when you make title matches involving belts that your company has no booking control over?
Apparently this match has already been nominated for Worst of 2009 in the 411 Year End Awards. I'd believe it. I hated it and I only read the description.
Kevin Nash defeated AJ Styles to win the TNA Legends Title (pinfall, chokeslam)
Scott Steiner and Booker T defeated Beer Money, Inc. to win the TNA Tag Team Titles (Steiner pinned Roode, Axe Kick)
Samoa Joe defeated Sting (submission, rear naked choke)
Kurt Angle defeated Mick Foley (submission, Anklelock)
Well, the entire MEM won all their matches (mostly cleanly, even) and now own all the gold plus apparently have the Human Suplex Refrigerator on their side. Or at least, on Joe's. Shame nobody seemed to care about his debut, or the fact that Joe beat the legend Sting essentially clean as a sheet. Once again, we have the beginning of a new chapter in TNA. Hopefully someone reminded the creative team that they need to write a good ending.
Buddy?
Buddy Wonders Why The Most Interesting TNA Title Change Didn't Happen On PPV
They're like a really, really old version of the Four Horsemen!
And yet, they're still better than Paul Roma.
Moving on.
Tonight's Host: Wait, Where's That Guy's Beard?
We are one week away from Night of Champions, with nearly every championship match already determined. And in the main event, the war between Randy Orton and Triple H continues, now under the watchful eye of the always dangerous John Cena. Last week, Orton was humiliated as he and Legacy were defeated by a team consisting of his challengers for Night of Champions, and Raw guest host Seth Green, with the diminutive Green even picking up the pinfall. And things don't look to get any better this week, as guest hosts ZZ Top likely won't be too sympathetic to the Legend Killer's current plight.
Meanwhile, The Big Show continues to stalk Kofi Kingston's United States championship, defeating the Jamaican Superstar last week on Superstars in a non-title affair. Will Show manage to earn the title shot he feels he deserves?
Plus, Primo and Carlito Colon seem primed to continue their messy sibling rivalry, Mark Henry seeks more wigs to split, and Chavo Guerrero seeks some form of dignity as he continues to lose his battles against Hornswoggle. All this and more, tonight on Raw!
Read The Fine Print Before You Sign!
Well, we are three weeks away from the culmination of the story that has kept the wrestling world breathless for months: will Jeff Hardy sign a new contract or will he retire to a life of hanging out on the front porch of his...um...where he can sit and pet his...er...
Anyway, as of right now, apparently Jeff Hardy has not signed anything, which I would have to say puts his chances at pulling out a victory at Night of Champions in serious doubt, and, coupled with the serious injury to Edge, probably explains why it seems that John Morrison may be the next challenger for the World Heavyweight title. Not that anyone's complaining about that, right?
Which reminds me, it's been a while since I posted this.
Building A Bridge Between MMA and TNA?
TNA has been quick to trumpet the fact that former ECW Champion and current MMA fighter Bobby Lashley has officially signed to be a part of TNA. Okay, so he's only going to work four dates a month, which is enough to do Impact tapings and PPV but no house shows, and MMA is still his first priority, and I'm still not sure why anyone thinks he's a huge Superstar who can tip the balance of power in TNA's direction. Plus, Lashley has made it clear that he wants to fight UFC Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar at some point in the future, and Dana White has made it quite clear that he only considers pro wrestling useful as free publicity when he trots out Lesnar, and then only barely.
Hi, My Name Is...Trainer Of Future WWE Champions?
This past week, WWE announced that they had signed Nick Dinsmore, best known for portraying loveable idiot savant Eugene before Wellness violations and the Creative team getting bored with the gimmick handed him his walking papers, for the purposes of helping train young wrestlers in WWE's developmental system. During his rise in OVW, Dinsmore was well-known for having superior wrestling talent, but was allegedly held down due to his less-than-stellar physique and appearance. Which continues to beg the question: how the hell did Mick Foley manage to win the WWE Championship and become one of the biggest stars in professional wrestling?
Damn!
Former WWE Superstar and WCW Heavyweight Champion Ron Simmons was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame this past weekend. Simmons is one of only two men to have his jersey retired by Florida State University (the other being Deion Sanders), and still holds record with the school for career tackles for a loss and forced fumbles, as well as second for career tackles.
And THIS was the best way that WWE could figure out how to debut him.
I mean, I get the thought process: "Hey, if he's standing next to Sunny all the time, no one will even notice that he's wearing a teal vest and tinfoil hat. We're geniuses!" Sadly, it seems that there are some things that even Sunny can't distract the eye from.
Nah...Too Easy
On July 24th on Fox, the network that either looks like geniuses for bringing back Family Guy in light of its recent Emmy nomination for Best Comedy Series or idiots for cancelling it in the first place, we will all have the delight to witness the debut of Bill Goldberg, as he becomes a contestant on...Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?. The following space has been intentionally left blank so that you can make your own clever jokes.
All done? Moving on.
Inactive List as of 07.13.09
WWE Raw
- Batista, out 4 months as of June 9th (biceps)
WWE SmackDown
- Edge, out indefinitely as of July 4th (torn Achilles tendon)
- Matt Hardy, out 4-6 weeks as of June 23rd (torn abdominal)
- The Undertaker, out indefinitely as of May 2009 (hip/knee)
ECW
- No reported injuries
TNA
- Christy Hemme, out indefinitely as of January 10th (neck surgery)
Transactions
- Alissa Flash (Cheerleader Melissa/Raisha Saeed), TNA, made TNA "debut" on July 16th Impact
- Bobby Lashley, TNA, signed to a TNA contract
- Sarita (Sarah Stock), TNA, made TNA debut on July 16th Impact
- Taz, TNA, made TNA debut at Victory Road PPV
WWE
WWE Champion: Randy Orton
- 35 day reign, defeated John Cena, Triple H, and The Big Show in a Fatal Four-Way for the vacant title on June 15th (Raw)
- Next title defense: vs Triple H and John Cena, Triple Threat Match, Night of Champions PPV
World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk
- 43 day reign, defeated Jeff Hardy by cashing in Money in the Bank on June 7th (Extreme Rules PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Jeff Hardy, Night of Champions PPV
ECW Champion: Tommy Dreamer
- 43 day reign, defeated former champion Christian and Jack Swagger in a Triple Threat Match on June 7th (Extreme Rules PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Christian, Night of Champions PPV
WWE Intercontinental Champion: Rey Mysterio
- 22 day reign, defeated Chris Jericho in a Mask vs Title Match on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Dolph Ziggler, Night of Champions PPV
WWE United States Champion: Kofi Kingston
- 50 day reign, defeated MVP on June 1st Raw
- Next title defense: vs TBD, Night of Champions PPV
WWE Undisputed Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and TBD
- 22 day reign, defeated former champions The Colons and Legacy in a Triple Threat Match on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Legacy, Night of Champions PPV
WWE Women's Champion: Michelle McCool
- 22 day reign, defeated Melina on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
- Next title defense: vs TBD, Night of Champions PPV
WWE Diva's Champion: Maryse
- 214 day reign, defeated Michelle McCool on December 26th (Smackdown)
- Next title defense: vs Mickie James, Night of Champions PPV
TNA
TNA Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
- 29 day reign, defeated former champion Mick Foley, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett in a King of the Mountain Match on June 21st (Slammiversary PPV)
**NEW** TNA Tag Team Champions: Scott Steiner and Booker T
- 1 day reign, defeated Beer Money, Inc. on July 19th (Victory Road PPV)
**NEW** TNA X-Division Champion: Homicide
- 4 day reign, defeated Suicide on July 16th (Impact)
**NEW** TNA Knockouts Champion: Angelina Love
- 1 day reign, defeated Tara on July 19th (Victory Road PPV)
**NEW** TNA Legends Champion: Kevin Nash
- 1 day reign, defeated AJ Styles on July 19th (Victory Road PPV)
411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT.
Remember, if you love poker, and are in the Kitchener-Cambridge-Waterloo area, check out Player's Poker League.
And for the drunken ramblings of Sean Carless and his merry band of reprobates, check out The Wrestling Fan.
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Posted By: Guest#4538 (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 01:12 AM
Way to take a shot at Christopher Daniels. Did I miss the memo that hating him is the new cool thing to do?
Posted By: Andy (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 01:16 AM
Way to take a shot at Christopher Daniels. Did I miss the memo that hating him is the new cool thing to do?
Posted By: Andy (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 01:16 AM
You are a fucking moron, sir.
Posted By: Siva (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 04:17 AM
Regarding Daniels, AJ Styles has been waiting to be a legitimite main eventer in TNA for years and years - even when he had the gold Jarrett was the big thing in TNAs mind. Anyway, there is a queue for "most criminally unused midcarder who should be a bona-fide main eventer", and it starts behind AJ Styles.
And Seth Green didn't pin anybody on Raw...the match was thrown out.
Posted By: Quimby (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 07:25 AM
Andy (Guest), what are you his gay lover trying valiantly to defend your man's honor?
How about this? People are dissing him because he is one of these "potential" guys like Shelton Benjamin, who always seems on the cusp of breaking through, but never does.
Posted By: what a dork (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 08:23 AM
the pics are too small. it looks like there are hot chicks on the victory road banner, but cant tell. same for the buddy pic.
Posted By: dogpound7382 (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 10:00 AM
Andy (Guest), what are you his gay lover trying valiantly to defend your man's honor?
How about this? People are dissing him because he is one of these "potential" guys like Shelton Benjamin, who always seems on the cusp of breaking through, but never does.
Posted By: what a dork (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 08:23 AM
Well, THAT's not TNA's fault at all...after all, they were to busy putting the fucking world title on Mick Foley to care about someone talented like Christopher Daniels.
Posted By: Crazy (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Thanks for filling me in on Alissa Flash. I've never seen Cheerleader Melissa so I had no idea that was her. Her match on Impact with Sarita was very good and they had me thinking she might actually win. After the match, I was more excited about Alissa than Sarita. Now I've finally seen Cheerleader Melissa in action. Awesome!
Despite all the crap, between the Knockouts Division in TNA and the main event scene on SD!, and getting Bourne and Kingston on Raw, it's a great time to be a wrestling fan.
Posted By: MachoManFanStill (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 12:06 PM
Way to take a shot at Christopher Daniels. Did I miss the memo that hating him is the new cool thing to do?
Posted By: Andy (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 01:16 AM
Yeah it's posted on Vince Russo's ass.
Posted By: Guest#7866 (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 02:45 PM
"Wait, Where's That Guy's Beard?"
It's in his name.
Posted By: G-Walla (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 03:07 PM
Your ZZ Top Trivia of the Day:
The only memeber of ZZ Top without a beard, the drummer, is named Frank Beard.
And now you know...
Posted By: Flyboy (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 03:21 PM
Looked like a half decent ppv. If Night of champions wasnt next week, i mightve got it. WWE should stick to one ppv a month like TNA does. Just saying $40 is a lot every 3 weeks.
Posted By: guestwwe (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 06:58 PM
TNA PPV?! There was a TNA PPV this weekend?
Posted By: Eric Young (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 07:01 PM
So maryse is the longest reigning champion out of all shows lol.
Posted By: cam (Guest) on July 20, 2009 at 10:27 PM
Daniels will only become a true main-eventer when he comes up with a character people empathize with. Chris Daniels as himself isnt cutting it. There is no "larger than life" mentality to it that you find in Hulk, SCSA, Mankind, Rock, UT, HBK, etc.
Styles has a good shot at making it, he really REALLY just needs to lose the southern accent. Nobody takes champions with southern accents seriously (see Jeff Hardy).
Posted By: Eeek (Guest) on July 21, 2009 at 01:21 PM
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Read The Fine Print Before You Sign!
Building A Bridge Between MMA and TNA?
Hi, My Name Is...Trainer Of Future WWE Champions?
Damn!
Nah...Too Easy
