Takin A Mulligan 8.22.09: Advanced Hardy Mathematics - Circa 2003

Posted by Chris Remington on 08.22.2009

How does 1+1=Infinity? When you learn that there is no "I" in team!



Jumpin' On the Gun

I get letters...The Great Capt. Smooth leads us on an interesting journey through what he thinks for 5 minutes, 3 times a week:

Gun, HA HA! Thanks for the kind words at the start of your column and a good response to my comment as well. That would be a great idea for a column. (When you became a fan.) As far as Karen Angle goes, I never really got into the whole story. Here is this woman that I know nothing about, but I'm supposed to care about what happens to the people involved? I must admit, "Karen's Angle" does have a nice ring to it. Finally, I have to disagree with you about one of your Mandaments. Whenever having sex, I'm always hoping that the toilet seats my partner has used recently are clean enough, because as someone who used to clean them as a side job, some people don't know how to clean up.

You really think of toilet seats during sex? As someone who continues to official sports and negotiates contracts for a company that jets sewer lines and vacuums massive industrial accidental spills, clean seats are a luxury. I am guessing you would have never hooked up with any of the wrestling groupies or sorority members either. You know those backstage passes can reveal more than just what people drink and munch on pre-show, so to speak.

Regular TWTFer Goob supplies the surprise of the week...

Holy crap, it's the Gun

The TWTF cast has just about reassembled (Csonka, Eubanks, Cook and myself). Times like these I miss Schilling, Living DeadGirl and my former sidekick Master of the Gun. I wonder if her and AirMcNair ever hooked up and listened to endless hours of BJ Thomas ballads.

Andis strokes The Gun! I don't know who he is but even if I could stroke my own ego, it wouldn't be this good:

Your mulligan makes perfect sense. I find women who take a backseat and support their husband sexier than women who are crazy and get involved with everything. They just seem to be more appealing to the majority. Would you want your wife gossiping and/or flirting with every man, woman, child, and mailman in the neighborhood? I think not. That's basically what Karen did in TNA, and that's why more people like Miss Elizabeth a lot more as well.

One of these days I will share how I really feel about Miss Elizabeth. I'll put it this way; I liked Owen Hart more.

Jumpin' On The Gun this week is a clarification of the theme of the column. Yes, a mulligan is "a do-over". Mulligan is a good word for a do-over; just as RAW is a better term than unrefined or unlearned. I would hate to watch a Monday Night Wrestling Show called "Unrefined" or "Unlearned", though some weeks it would be far more appropriate than RAW. So Tim, think less on the name of the column and comment on the material or lack thereof, The Gunaholics and I welcome that banter.

Sidenote: Welcome back Cook! While both Cook and Eubanks stroked me in their columns, Eubanks has continued to promise love for me in the comment section but has failed to deliver. Until he provides, the manlove picture of the 80s remains for the 3rd straight week!



Deep down, Eubanks wishes he partied with the Bees like he partied with Suede.

The Address


When The Hardy Boyz arrived in the WWE as jobbers I believe in late 1997, I didn't think very much of Matt and Jeff Hardy. I had seen this act before, watching the spot monkeys in Japan or even ECW during the nineties. However as they got more exposure and since they were working in the WWE, you had to notice that there was something a little different about these two than some of the others I had seen. I really credit Dory Funk's Dojo for refining their athletic gifts and giving both of them more than just "did you see that" moments inside the ring. The Boyz were starting to gel and actually look like a unit inside the ring, although they weren't the traditional team by any of the older standards. The New Age Outlaws or The Dudley's they weren't but they were exciting to watch, even if you were cringing with each suicide dive from an elevated height to a lower position.

My Sunday Night Heat viewing was usually taped and watched at a later time. I stopped fast forwarding through their matches and started to take notice, especially as they got to take on another team that was roughly their size and build, Kaientai. While it was clear that Kaientai had more experience, the little team that could in the Hardy Boyz was running neck and neck with them in the ring. Finally, they secured a victory over them in the fall of 1998. The WWE smartly took notice of the fan reaction to the Boyz and smartly gave them a manager in Michael Hayes and started booking them to win matches. After a solid slow burn as they ascended to the top of the contenders pile, they won their first meaningful gold in the summer of 1999. After this you know the ride they took, dropping Hayes and adding Lita, feuding with E&C and The Dudley's, winning multiple titles and really being a huge part of changing the tag team landscape in the 21st century.

While The Boyz electrified the wrestling scene with MOTY triple threat matches with E&C and The Dudley's, I was wondered how to top what the WWE was producing. No one was like The Hardy's or even Edge and Christian. The Dudley's earned tremendous respect for working a new fresh style that really pushed the limits of their physical builds. The WWE had really cornered the market on how to approach and execute tag team branding and meaningful matches that stirred the audience at home and in the arena to "on your feet" moments. After these three teams provided 2 solid years of unbelievable moments in tag team history, Edge and Christian were programmed to break the chain via Vince's vision of the future. With E&C out of the steady mix, the run seems to stall as teams were put together to attempt to fill the void. The Hardy's had to assume the role as the established and allow the other teams to make a credible climb to their level. The Radicals were a solid transition but the WWE ascended The Radicals up the singles ladder too. Booker T and Test as well as APA and Billy and Chuck became a part of the mix. The Hardy's lacked the zip they once had and it showed visibly. The period I refer to the Tag Team Yawning Era was upon us.

The Bad Shot

Ever heard the term, if it isn't broke, don't fix it? Two big rumors were floating in the E during the late 2002 time period:

Vince hates tag team wrestling!
If a worker can't pull his/her own weight, Vince didn't think you had value!

Was that the message being sent to Edge and Christian, as well as the Dudley's? No one can be for sure but the booking of tag teams began to get silly. The use of cohesive teams was less and less in favor of makeshift teams, more in the classification of SNME matches than a series of weekly shows.

The message to Matt and Jeff Hardy wasn't quite the same. Vince clearly favored Jeff's singles potential over Matt's. Jeff was placed in a program with the franchise of the WWE, The Undertaker. Matt was placed on Heat, which was either an attempt to re-generate interest in the program or incentive for him to match his brother's call to the single's pecking order. I would guess the latter given how they were originally positioned. While Jeff was earning respect as a single's, close but no cigar, worker; Matt was booked to turn heel on his brother and cost him his IC title shot. While Matt became more interesting as a heel (much more than the latest turn) with cool nicknames like Sensei of Mattitude, Jeff was battling personal demons that would get him released from the mothership in April of 2003. Matt's booking direction was derailed because of Jeff's inconsistency in and out of the ring. Matt really never quite seemed motivated after that and was released from the E in 2005; do to difficulties with Lita and Edge.

The Bad Shot here is obvious to me. Why ever break them up? I understand the carrot of having brother vs. brother but face it, the match or feud never comes off as good as advertised. The only one I can think of in the last 10 years was Undertaker and Kane, which certainly failed to deliver IMO. Before this, we had Bret and Owen Hart, which was better probably because they were really brothers. Since they were trained in the dungeon, they're chemistry was better than the fake brothers who were trained in hell.

Even the 2008 Version of the Hardy breakup was thin. As someone who commented on a blog this week said, it had a little of this involved:
Burned Jeff's house down killing his dog
Attacked him before Survivor Series
Cost him the WWE title
Ran Jeff and his girlfriend off the road
Blew Jeff up with pyrotechnics
Denounced Jeff as his brother
Etc. etc. etc....

There is a lot of randomness to that order but there is a lot of randomness to the attempted storyline then and recently. Although we may be witnesses a reconciliation tonight, it just shows you the awkwardness and silliness of the angle in the first place. The feud which was originally scheduled for 2003 and revisited in 2008 doesn't really serve anyone, outside of when they do unite again in tag team ranks for special bouts or Survivor Series matches, then the crowd has a lot of anticipation because they remember what they have been missing and long to see it again.

Execution Of The Mulligan


One of my sources of frustration in the last 20 years is the death of tag team wrestling. There have been instances of good periods but overall, the tag team part of the booking plan has lost its value. Tag teams used to give a couple of workers a partnership that balanced their weaknesses and/or capitalized on their strengths. They allowed smaller wrestlers to shine in an environmental with physically bigger wrestlers. The theory of teamwork prevails over individual talent rules the traditional tag team roost. Teams like The Dudley's, The Rock N Roll Express, The Original Midnight Express, The Eliminators, Beer Money, America's Most Wanted, The Nasty Boys are all examples of this.

The Hardy Boyz are as well. They are a classic example of the ultimate underdog. The look, the mannerisms and the activity in the ring are counter-culture to the traditional wrestling establishment. Just like the teams listed before them, they are truly the proper example of just that. One of the few reasons TNA works is that they still appreciate tag team wrestling and the connection it can represent if it is done correctly. I do believe that the booking committee in the past has had a lot to do with that. Jeff Jarrett grew up in a territory that championed tag teams, in fact, the greatest angle in history was facilitated by tag team action but that is another story at another time.

My mulligan is this team should have never been split up, at least not at the time. I have no idea to this day what the WWE was thinking at the time. The Hardy's had just lost to Brock and Heyman before the split up. The main event scene in single was very crowded with Brock and Angle, Rock and Austin, HHH and Booker T, Hogan, Benoit, Undertaker and Michaels. Those are 10 heavy hitters on top of the card. In the middle crust you had Kane, Chris Jericho, Chavo and Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Hurricane, The Big Show, Rhyno and now Matt and Jeff Hardy. As WWE attempted to jet Eddie Guerrero and the Chris's up the card, they left the tag team action to less than stellar characters. Lance Storm and Chief Morley were battling Kane and RVD, The Big Show and Albert were tossed together, Haas and Benji were lighting it up but really could have benefited from greater challengers than Los Guerreros (where you knew Chavo was the designated jobber) and Benoit and Rhyno (with the latter assuming the role as jobber).

Instead of continuing to make Matt and Jeff stand out and something special, the WWE transitioned them into lost in the shuffle players. The WWE made them mediocre! They were forced to stand out in a new way, on their own merits. Doesn't mean that they couldn't or haven't but it was too much heavy lifting to expect during that time. Does this sell more shirts or armbands? Are tag teams viewed by Vince as something you do when you are young and eating baby food but aren't for you when you become a grown up? Was Vince trying to get the Hardy's to grow up?

Was Arn Anderson less grown up as a tag team specialist? Bobby Eaton? The Dudley's? The Steiners? Kevin Nash? Scott Hall? The Brother's of Destruction? I think not in all cases.

The sum of the whole is greater than the parts…still.

Here is hoping the Hardy reunion leads to more tag action and less single's glory. I know I would smile a lot more and as fans we all benefit.



Until Next Week, "I am your champion"

Chris "The Gun" Remington