The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 08.28.09

Posted by John Meehan on 08.28.2009

A Smackdown! star is born, and Jeff Hardy Swantons off into the sunset.

Welcome back, all. And thanks for tuning in for your regularly scheduled week-end dose of intrawebz 'rasslin optimism. As the Summer of 2009 draws to a close, I'm writing to y'all from the sun-soaked shores of New Jersey (gotta' love DOUBLE vacations! Thanks, Boss!) But amazingly, a week with the lady and the fam has given me plenty of time to wax philosophical on the wrestling news of the week. Hence, the kickass column that is about to follow.

PLENTY of news this week, including The Dead Man's return, the masked superstar's suspension, the main event arrival of CM Punk, and the departure of Jeff Hardy -- so let's cut the jibber-jabber and get right to it, yes?

Rock & Roll.

The SELL of the week goes to Jeff Hardy and CM Punk, each of whom did a masterful job of sending Smackdown!'s title picture in a fresh, new direction following their grueling ladder match for the World Heavyweight Championship at the conclusion of this year's SummerSlam. For Punk's part, he kept his focus squarely on Jeff Hardy just long enough for fans to soak it in that "their hero" had been destroyed. And for Hardy's? He sold the beating (and the emotional toll of the defeat!) as if he'd finally fallen victim to every last allegation that he had tried so long to deny -- thus cementing Punk's "#1 asshole" status as the "toldja so" rulebreaking champion. As a result? Punk moves to his next feud as a certifiable heel with staying power, while Jeff rides off into the sunset with his boots facing the lights.

The TELL of the week goes to Lillian Garcia, who made an absolute mess of the already confusing conclusion of the WWE Championship match at SummerSlam by mis-announcing the bout's winner, stipulations, and champion. Seriously Lil, I understand mistakes can happen -- but even the most casual of fans can see that you've pretty much been phoning it in all summer ("Alicia Keys?"). Look, we all know you're leaving -- but is it really that much to ask that you finish strong? I hate to play compare-zies here, but Jeff Hardy ain't re-signing with WWE either, you know.

Brett DiBiase - Younger brother of current WWE superstar Ted DiBiase, Jr. and son of WWE legend "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase made his official televised debut for World Wrestling Entertainment this past week, when he made an "unscheduled" run-in appearance during the WWE Championship match at SummerSlam to help Randy Orton defeat John Cena. DiBiase appeared on camera and was identified by name the following night on RAW, but it appears as if immediate plans to introduce him as a permanent member of The Legacy stable have been tabled, for the time-being. On Monday's RAW, Orton himself admonished the younger DiBiase boy, and assured viewers that DiBiase would not be interfering in any of his matches in the future.

Now then --

While some have called Brett DiBiase's run-in during the SummerSlam title match "overbooked" and "nonsensical," MeeThinks there is still a great deal of good that can come out of this seemingly pointless SummerSlam cluster. After all, Ted DiBiase has "The Marine 2" hitting retailers later on this year, and chances are good that the WWE brass will likely be turning him into a fan favorite in order to help the sales of his DVD. As such, it's interesting to note that the seeds of a DiBiase splinter faction have already been planted on WWE programming (first with The Million Dollar Man's stint as RAW's guest host, then with the run-in-turned-explusion of his younger brother) -- giving the writers plenty of onscreen material to work with should they decide to pull the trigger on a "Ted Leaves Legacy" storyline).

Does this guarantee Ted DiBiase success as a single's superstar? Of course not, but it certainly gives fans a more logical reason to support the guy other than "he's mad at Randy Orton." As a result, this "one-off" appearance might end up paying some real dividends in the future -- and I, for one, would not be surprised in the least if we see Brett DiBiase back on WWE programming before 2010.

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The Undertaker - The storied "Conscience of World Wrestling Entertainment" made his shocking return at the conclusion of last Sunday's SummerSlam PPV, chokeslamming new World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk to signal his intent to challenge for the belt at the submission-themed Breaking Point pay-per-view on September 13. Undertaker was last seen on WWE programming shortly after WrestleMania XXV, when he squared off against Matt Hardy in one of the earliest episodes of WWE Superstars.

Obviously, the (re)arrival of The Dead Man dramatically reshapes the landscape of the Smackdown! title picture. With Jeff Hardy out indefinitely and Edge still nursing a serious injury at least through 2010, The Dead Man is now the number one babyface performer on the entire blue brand -- which will presumably put him squarely into the title hunt for many weeks (if not months!) to come, starting with a submission-themed showdown against CM Punk on Sept. 13.

Here's why I love WWE's new "gimmick-themed" PPV approach:

It's no secret that The Undertaker doesn't lose all that often, and losing by submission ain't exactly his thing (if memory serves, his one and only tapout was in a draw to Kurt Angle). But it's also no secret that CM Punk is just days into his latest title run, and WWE typically likes to keep a heel champion in control of a feud for as long as possible (while a babyface challenger gives chase) in order to milk the rivalry for all that its worth.

But now we're staring at a PPV where the title can ONLY change hands via submission. And suddenly, everybody is talking about just WHAT, exactly, WWE could possibly have planned for the World Heavyweight Championship.

With such a shortage of top-level heels on Smackdown!, WWE seriously needs to keep CM Punk strong. At the same time, they can't really afford to flush The Dead Man's comeback right down the tubes so soon into his latest run -- and so the "creative geniuses" backstage at World Wrestling Entertainment will really need to step up their game in order to deliver a finish to this rivalry that is as satisfying as it is believable. If Punk jobs cleanly, he's right back to looking like a fluke. But if the Phenom taps out, people will seriously start to wonder if we're about to see the end of an era in WWE.

So what happens?

You got Mee there (and that's saying something -- I've been watching professional wresting for well over 20 years). But that is a *great* thing for WWE programming, as it actually gives fans a reason to tune in and watch their shows (and PPVs) -- since their fans have no real idea what is likely to happen next.



Jeff Hardy - the former World Heavyweight Champion wrapped up his latest tenure with World Wrestling Entertainment this week. In a match that will air on tonight's episode of Smackdown! (SPOILERS: Jeff Hardy was defeated by CM Punk in a "Loser Leaves WWE" steel cage match, which will be used as the kayfabe explanation for his departure from company programming for the forseeable future). Jeff is hoping to pursue other interests outside of a WWE ring during his time away from the company, and word has it that his departure is being seen much like Chris Jericho's of several years ago -- so the question as to whether or not he will return to WWE is more one of "when" than "if."

MeeThinks?

You have to hand it to Jeff Hardy, who has been nothing short of a true professional during these last few months with WWE. Whereas other "stars" have simply coasted out the remaining days of their contract without any real direction or motivation, Hardy used his outbound momentum to leave the company in a better state than it was when he arrived. Along the way, he main-evented some fantastic television shows and PPV events, he managed to sell scads of merchandise, and he helped establish a credible new flagbearer for the Smackdown! brand.

Let's face it --

CM Punk is (and always has been) at his very best when he's playing a holier-than-thou rulebreaker. Since his arrival in WWE, Punk (and his fans) languished in mediocrity as "just another face" in the sea of take-no-nonsense fan favorites out to entertain the crowd and sell some merchandise along the way (seriously -- what set Punk apart from Batista? Or John Cena? Other than the more-than-occassional loss, not much). As a result, Punk lost the ability to stand out from the crowd for being unique, and his first run as World Heavyweight Champion was widely seen as a "fluke" at best and an out-and-out "failure" at worst. No particularly memorable feuds. No particularly memorable promos. And no particularly memorable matches.

Flash forward 12 months later --

And suddenly, CM Punk is the hottest heel in ALL of WWE's three brands (some might even argue that he's the hottest star of the entire company -- though sheer merchandise sales seem to disagree). How'd he get there? By reverting to his "Straightedge means I'm better than you" roots and stepping up the brutality of his in-ring style. Gone was the crowd-pandering "clean-living superstar," and in his place fans were treated to a self-absorbed, straightedged zealot who was hell-bent on proving that his lifestyle was superior. But any good comic book fan will tell you that a villain is only as formidable as his heroic counterpart is good...

And that's where Jeff Hardy truly rose to the occasion.

Without Jeff Hardy, there would be no CM Punk (as we no him today). Jeff's real-life "demons," trials, and tribulations are probably THE (long-sounding "eee") most documented in WWE today (since Scott Hall and Jake Roberts are no longer with the company), and CM Punk's straightedge lifestyle made him a natural foil to square off against World Wrestling Entertainment's poster boy for one-strike-away-from-a-Wellness-inspired-pinkslip. Simply put, the "clean-living" CM Punk needed a "learn from your mistakes" rival in Jeff Hardy in order to catapult himself to the next level of full-on-superstardom, and Jeff played his "risk-taking" role to perfection.



Rey Mysterio - Late on Thursday evening, WWE.com announced the suspension of Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio, who was served a 30-day disciplinary infraction for violating WWE's Wellness Initiative. In other words, Rey Rey was caught doping and sent home without pay as punishment for his actions. Mysterio's run-in with WWE's Wellness Initiative marks the first drug-related suspension in quite some time (ironically, the last "big name" performer to be suspended under the Wellness policy was none other than Rey's longtime nemesis, Dolph Ziggler himself).

Now then --

Mysterio's suspension presumably vacates the Intercontinental Championship and leaves it Ziggler's way for the taking. While this is hardly the ideal way to get the strap around the new guy's waist, the GOOD news here is that Ziggler has been giving chase after the gold for quite some time now, and fans have really started to buy into his role as a legitimate challenger for the Intercontinental Championship as a result. In short -- at least there is another guy waiting in the wings to pick things up where Mysterio is leaving them off, and this sudden elevation of the number one contender should do wonders to prove Dolph Ziggler's ability to stand on his own as a breakout midcard performer in his own right.

As far as Rey Rey goes?

It's no secret that the masked superstar has been suspiciously (ahem) "bulkier" these days than he was way back when he started out in WCW (by the way -- GO BUY THE DVD! It is actually quite awesome, if you can believe it) -- and so many couldn't help but wonder how he (and other top-level stars) kept dodging drug-related suspensions when so many undercard performers of a pronouncedly smaller stature (Jimmy Wang Yang? SERIOUSLY?) ended up busted left and right around him. Of course, Mysterio's suspension only goes to show us that nobody in the WWE ranks is immune from the company's drug policy (no matter how much merchandise they sell) -- which is a breath of fresh air when one considers just how shady some of the Wellness-related issues have been in the past.

(Anyone wanna' bet the latest round of drug tests were inspired by Kurt Angle getting picked up with two vials of HGH? And who says WWE doesn't pay attention to TNA!?)

Here's hoping Mysterio uses his time away from the ring to get clean and back on the right track toward a healthy career. Sure he's older and slowed a bit, but Rey Mysterio is as beloved as they come in the "WWE Universe" -- (the guy is a veritable demigod in Mexico!) -- and nobody would fault him for modifying his in-ring approach to a slower, safer style if it meant that he could do it drug free. For a guy who is IMMENSELY popular with younger fans, he (perhaps more than most) is really as much of a "role model" as you're likely to find in the ranks of professional wrestling. For better or worse, then, it is all the more important that he get himself clean and get back to setting a positive example for the youngest and most impressionable viewers in the WWE audience around the world.



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None - With Jeff Hardy's long-rumored departure from WWE finally reaching its culmination this week, it appears as if all other backstage murmurings have been put to rest -- if only for a moment, at least.



TNA to Launch Knockouts Tag Team Championship Tournament
Ladies of TNA Earn Second Set of Straps

Big news out of Orlando on last week's iMPACT! was that TNA plans to move forward with an eight-team tournament in order to crown the first-ever set of TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions. Presumably, this will lead to increased exposure for the ladies of TNA wrestling (heh heh -- "increased exposure"), as well as the opportunity to showcase some of the top-notch women's wrestling bouts that the company had once developed such a strong reputation for in the first place (Cody Deaner as Knockouts Champion? Sigh, how the mighty have fallen).

I'll say this --

With Sarita, Tara, Alissa Flash, Awesome Kong, and Taylor Wilde -- TNA most certainly has themselves a strong crop of female athletes. The problem is, TNA's tournament structure has all but guaranteed fans a series of in-ring appearances by lesser-talented female performers like Sharmell, Christy Hemme, and Velvet Sky. As a result, "the good" and "the bad" could well end up cancelling each other out, and TNA might be left with a series of mediocre bouts to crown a pair of champions with no real opponents or reason for being besides.

That said --

The TNA Knockouts segments have consistently proven to be ratings-getters for the company, and so one can't help but think that TNA has decided to devote some more screen time their way in an attempt to attract a bigger audience who will then, in turn, become "regular" fans of the overall product at large. The problem is, many of the channel-surfers who are stopping on SpikeTV simply to catch a glimse of some T&A might not be all that interested in seeing what else TNA has to offer. And as a result -- this might just end up being a sad rehash of WWE's ill-conceived Diva Search all over again.

For the time being, I'll withhold judgment on the matter and see how the tournament plays out. While there's a decent chance that the program could fall flat on its face, it might just end up bringing some much-needed credibility to a once-dominant division that is quickly becoming less and less relevant with each passing day.

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WWE SummerSlam is In the Books
Three Title Matches, Three Major Storylines

WWE's "biggest party of the summer" is officially in the books, and so now seems like as good a time as any to size up the impact and the fallout of the three major title matches that transpired on this show. As for the smaller bouts, most of them will probably be forgotten in just a few short weeks' time (as is often the case with undercards) -- but for a quick recap of the highpoints from each:

Laugh all you want, but Kane versus The Great Khali certainly could have been a whole lot worse, ya' know.

MVP versus Jack Swagger wasn't anything to write home about, but WWE did a great job of reviving fan interest in MVP the following night on RAW by letting him cut a promo on Chris Jericho and The Big Show. Since Miz seems destined to battle Kofi for the United States Championship and RAW's main event picture seems to be logjammed with older stars for the time-being, there are certainly worse things that WWE can do than plug Porter into a quest for the tag team championship.

Don't look now, but Dolph Ziggler is one small ZigZag away from a breakout run with WWE gold. Ziggler continues to improve AND impress, and Rey Mysterio is doing wonders to restore the credibility of the long-forgotten Intercontinental Championship.

Speaking of restoring credibility to long-forgotten championships, Chris Jericho and The Big Show continue to run roughshod over the WWE tag ranks, thus continuing WWE's efforts to rebuild for themselves a tag team division that's actually worth writing about. Now that the 'E has gotten serious about enforcing their brand extension, the Unified Tag Team Championship is really a smart and effective way to get the most bang for their championship buck and allow talent to appear on more than one roster at a time. Even better, just one set of belts means that credible challengers have a better shot of looking like serious threats (rather than merely holding gold because there are only two teams on each show!), and stars like Cryme Tyme and the team of Mark Henry and MVP are really starting to garner their fair share of fan support as a result.

For a duo who were all but destined to end up taking a clean pinfall, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase probably emerged from their match with Shawn Michaels and Triple H with about as much credibility and star power as one might have hoped. Throughout the contest, The Legacy continued to get the upper hand on their dX counterparts, and more than once during the bout, Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler were quick to remind fans at home that the two young superstars were giving the dX vets the absolute fight of their lives. Ted and Cody may not have won the battle, but Monday night's RAW did a fine job of proving that the war between these two factions is indeed far from over. And if the erstwhile "Priceless" boys can continue to hang with Shawn and Hunter in the same fashion they showed on Sunday? Then it really is only a matter of time before WWE's main event picture witnesses the sudden arrival of two brand new superstars with some serious staying power.

Now then, the main title matches --

Christian (c) vs. William Regal
ECW Championship Match

A lot of folks chipped their teeth about William Regal eating a clean pinfall loss to Christian in a mere eight seconds, but many of these critics fail to recognize that SummerSlam is (first and foremost), a LIVE show that's designed to entertain the LIVE crowd in order to keep the enthusiasm high throughout the duration of the evening. For that reason, WWE (and other wrestling organizations, for that matter) has a long history of throwing the oddball squash match into a PPV card in order to generate some continued excitement and an "anything can happen" atmosphere -- and so I really don't see the harm in booking the ECW Championship match in this manner for this year's SummerSlam show.

Heck -- nobody was complaining when Chris Benoit kicked the crap out of Orlando Jordan at SummerSlam 2005, if I recall correctly.

Let's face it --

WWE clearly has bigger plans for Regal/Christian, and they used the pair's first PPV encounter as a stepping stone to a more extended (and meaningful) program that will likely culminate in a more substantial encounter at Breaking Point. What's more, they made no secrets about the "fluke"-like nature of Christian's victory, and used the match as a building block to help give the rub to William Regal's newfound stable of giants and the Englishman's sudden quest for championship gold (because really now, he's only been at it for like what, two weeks?).

The time for a more extended Regal/Christian program will come -- and SOON, at that. But for now, all of the pieces were certainly in place to throw a curveball into this otherwise "paint-by-numbers" feud between two guys with no real beef or business to command 8+ minutes of television time (that many fans would have probably used to hit the restrooms during to begin with). As such, there are certainly worse things that WWE could have done than give this program an unexpected "false-start" like they did in favor of allowing the program to generate some real, worthwhile and believable momentum for next month's PPV outing.

That way, it will matter all the more when these two finally settle their score in a proper PPV clash.

Heck -- people might even PAY to see it.


Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena
WWE Championship Match

Overbooked as this match may have been, it was actually a heck of a lot of fun while it lasted. Okay, so maybe the first half fell victim to the typical "slo-mo-Orton beatdown" formula, but the fast-paced barrage of screwballs and screwjobs that followed definitely helped hide the fact that we've all seen this showdown more than a few times in the past. Going into the match, I said:

WWE needs to get "CREATIVE" on this one (in more ways than one!) in a hurry. If they have any surprise superstars set for a return, now would be a great time to throw them into the mix to help mask the fact that neither Cena nor Orton could really afford to eat a clean pinfall loss on the second biggest show of the year. But since SummerSlam pretty much demands clean finishes whenever possible (it is, after all, "The Biggest Party of the Summer") -- WWE will need to pull out all the stops in this contest if they're going to move either man away from the red brand's title picture for any real amount of time.

And wouldn't you know it? It appears as if WWE did everything they could possibly think of in order to keep both men looking strong and help this bout last a wee bit beyond its expiration date. Now we're slated for an "I Quit" match come Breaking Point, and fans (well, casual fans at least) are practically foaming at the mouth to see Randy Orton get his long overdue comeuppance. Even better? WWE has acknowleged that the BS ending to this contest simply won't be allowed to stand in the rematch, and so they've gone the extra mile and practically assured fans a clean finish for the Breaking Point title match. No run-ins. No DQs, and no count-outs. If it weren't for the fact that the match was being staged between Randy Orton and John Cena -- we'd practically be staring at a wrestling purist's dream bout.

I'm not usually a fan of using one PPV to sell the next, but this is one of those very rare instances where WWE gets a free pass -- simply because their new "concept PPV" needed a clean-cut reason to be submission themed, and there was really nowhere else to go for Orton vs. Cena but down unless the SummerSlam finish left fans asking for one last showdown between these two longtime rivals.


Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk
World Heavyweight Championship Match

A lot of what I'm about to say in this section has already been said elsewhere 'round the webz, and a fair chunk of it has even been mentioned elsewhere in this very column. That said, this match was everything that it needed to be in order to pass the torch from Smackdown!'s outbound star to its newest flag-bearer, and so there really isn't much that can be criticized regarding the outcome of this bout or the events that transpired during (and shortly after) it.

CM Punk needed to go over in a fashion that made him look like more than just a "fluke." His first reign was opportunistic and short-lived, and his second reign was even MORE polarizing and unexpected than the first. Punk has since made the gradual transition to a full-blown heel, and his character needed a good, solid victory over an equally formidable nemesis in order to back up his rulebreaking claims to bona-fide superstardom.

This match did just that and more, as the "toldja so" look on his face made it clear that the straightedge superstar felt vindicated by his hard-fought victory over the Charismatic Enigma. Meanwhile, Jeff Hardy's soul-crushing look of defeat made it clear that he'd taken one risk too many (that ladder spot was INSANE), and thus there might just be some merit to what all CM Punk had been saying about making smart choices after all. This gives Hardy all the more reason (excuse?) to take a well-deserved hiatus from WWE programming, and allows his character to "freshen up" and rediscover his passion for the business before the inevitable return match.

(Question: does quitting with two strikes under WWE's Wellness Initiative automatically entitle you to a fresh set of strikes upon your rehiring?)

And of course, the conclusion of this match saw The Undertaker make his shocking return to WWE programming, which immediately tests the mettle of this newly crowned champion and should go a long way in proving whether or not CM Punk is more than just a "one trick pony" with a straightedge soapbox. If he can withstand a championship challenge from The Dead Man, Smackdown! may well indeed have just found its new most valuable player... right up through WrestleMania 26.




This week's random 'rasslin reference comes to us from America's Finest News Source, The Onion:

Ted DiBiase Worried About Current Status Of His Million Dollars



BEL, CA—Once known for his extravagant spending and diamond-studded outfits, former professional wrestler "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase has reportedly fallen on hard times, admitting Tuesday that he did not know the exact status of his $1 million fortune. "Well, the economy has been real bad lately, and Virgil has made some terrible investments over the years," said DiBiase, shaking his head and adding that he hadn't slowly counted a stack of bills in the backseat of a limousine in more than a decade. "I also lost track of where my briefcase is, and that had about $5,000 plus a bunch of IOUs in it." DiBiase went on to claim that "everybody has a price," and said he was currently accepting offers to kiss people's feet for $100.

And With That, I'm Outta' Here

That wraps up another week's worth of intrawebz 'rasslin news. We're just a little over one week away from the unofficial "end of summer," so hit those beaches and drink those Coronas while you can! "Till next time, have a great week, and always stay positive.

- Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : [phone]-SAFE.