Wrestling’s 4R’s Tuesday Edition 09.01.09: ROH on HDNet, TNA Impact, WWE Smackdown, and WWE Superstars

Posted by Jeremy Thomas on 09.01.2009

Steenerico are back on track, Punk rids the WWE of Jeff Hardy, Hamada makes an impressive debut and Dolph Ziggler earns an IC Title shot! Wrestling's 4R's breaks down all the action from Summerslam, Impact, Smackdown, ROH on HDNet and Superstars!

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In HD where available…


By: Aaron Hubbard

ROH on HDNet 08.25.09:

QUICK RESULTS:
- Kevin Steen and El Generico defeated Tony Kozina and Sami Callihan [**]
- D-Lo Brown defeated John Kermin [1/4*]
- Austin Aries defeated Roderick Strong [***1/2]

THE RIGHT:

STEEN-ERICO GET BACK ON TRACK: Due to Generico's injury and losing the title to the American Wolves, the former ROH Tag Team Champions have yet to really show what they could do on HDNet. That all changed this week, as both men are running on all cylinders and they did what they do best: have an entertaining match and looking awesome doing it. Steen and Generico gave the jobbers a chance to shine, but never allowed themselves to look weak. And to their credit, Kozina and Callihan took the opportunity and used it well. This was a great opener, Steen and Generico got back on the winning track, and the Assembly Line (Package Piledriver into the Brainbuster) made its return. All is well.

THE JERRY LYNN SAGA: The major storyline for the night was whether Jerry Lynn was going to hang up the boots or not. The show started with a video package of Lynn defending and then losing the ROH Title to Austin Aries and we got the question answered, as Lynn has decided that he's not going to retire. Tyler Black came out and basically said he respected Lynn's accomplishments and that he was going to be ROH champion before he retired, and that brought out Lynn. Jerry cut an excellent promo, explaining about how hard it is to have his daughters ask him not to go on the road, and then being unable to play with them when he gets back because he's hurt. He's going to slow it down a bit for his family, but pro wrestlers never retire. This set up Lynn vs. Black in two weeks, which should be awesome. More interesting, Durdan asked D-Lo Brown for his thoughts, because apparently Aries hasn't taught him to only ask wrestlers about themselves. Brown got pissed and said he hopes Lynn retires and shrivels up and dies. Lynn addressed that by saying it was a little harsh, which logically sets up D-Lo vs. Lynn at some point, which should also be good.

AUSTIN ARIES VS. RODERICK STRONG: There is one thing that ROH has consistently done on this show, and that is having a good-to-great main event. This week's main event continued that streak. Aries and Strong now each other, they work hard, and they have the perfect heel-face dynamic. Roderick kicks people's asses and Aries makes you want to see him get his ass kicked. It's a formula for success. What they did here was about on par with the previous match on HDNet: it was more intense and had a faster pace, but it was also sloppier and didn't "build" as well as the first one. The effort was there, they just had an off night. It was a good match, but nothing you'll remember after seeing it, and unfortunately, not enough to recommend viewing the show simply to see it.

PURGATORY:

D-LO BROWN SQUASH: I praised D-Lo's promo on Lynn, but this match really didn't do anything for me. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't very good. Brown has great facial expressions and an attitude about him that makes him fun to watch, but John Kermin really didn't make for an interesting opponent. We did get a Sky High off the second rope, which was cool, and the promo afterward was good and set up a future money match. But I would have been content with a simple interview, or at least a better opponent, like Andy "Right Leg" Ridge. Not actively bad, but not good either, which is why it's here.

EMBASSY VS. CABANA & COMPANY HYPE: Next week's main event is an eight man tag war between the Embassy (Prince Nana, Ernie Osiris, Jimmy Rave and Claudio Castagnoli) and Colt Cabana, Brent Albright, Grizzly Redwood and Necro Butcher. Building to this, we got an interview from the Embassy and a video package showing how Cabana put his team together. I'm all for promoting next week's show, but the problem is that the Embassy promo was nothing special and the video package was all recap. I would have preferred a promo from Cabana's team, which would at least have been better than the other two promos I'm gonna talk about here.

THE WRONG:

GIVING RODERICK STRONG A MIC: Roderick Strong promos suck. Strong is greatness in the ring. He's intense, he's physical, and he works hard. But his promos are bland. Now, Chris Benoit managed to get buy with generic promos, but he had a menace in his voice that Strong doesn't have, because Strong has a high voice that makes you think of a sixth grader and not a world class ass-kicker. Roddy talked for two minutes and didn't really say anything except that he does his talking in the ring, which is what should have happened. Please, PLEASE don't give Strong a microphone until he can cut a promo.

THE RIDICULOUS:

NIGEL MCGUINNESS' NON-PROMO: This is the total opposite of the Roderick Strong deal. Here is Nigel, who has a calm, cocky, almost Jake the Snake quality to his promos. He is eloquent and can cut a money promo. But he gets all of a minute to talk, saying "I took my eye off the ball", and he starts to discuss Jerry Lynn, and then he gets interrupted by Tyler Black coming to the ring. Not only this, but he doesn't come to the ring to get back at Tyler, either physically or verbally. Nigel looked like a freaking joke. Prazak was whining about how ridiculous this was on commentary and I agree wholeheartedly. Nigel deserves better.

The 411

Like always, there is something to like about this episode of ROH. The main event delivered and it was a third of the show, but it was simply "adequate", not great or special. Jerry Lynn and D-Lo delivered on the mic and Steen and Generico got a win and were entertaining. But there was way too much talking, and most of it was handled poorly. The usual suspects (Tyler Black and Roderick Strong) gave generic promos, but so did the Embassy, four men who are more than capable of cutting good promos. Nigel McGuinness looked like a joke. The good was good but not good enough to save the show.

SHOW RATING: 6.5

---

By: Steve Cook

Superstars 08.27.09:

THE RIGHT:

Jack Swagga vs. Primo: It took me long enough, but I finally figured out why Larry Csonka called him that all the time. Perhaps if I made more time in my life for ECW a few months back I would have seen more Swagger promos and picked up on how he pronounces his own name. I find it kind of strange how Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler build Swagger up as a guy who talks a lot of trash when talking isn't really his strong point. It's like pushing Great Khali as being a great high-flyer who does hurricanranas and planchas on a regular basis. What Swagger does pretty well is wrestle the WWE style and use moves popularized by fellow OU football alumnus Steve "Dr. Death" Williams, who will hopefully beat cancer just like Swagger beat Primo on this edition of Superstars. It went a lot longer than I expected, and Primo did a pretty darn good job in his role of plucky babyface who gets beat up a lot and has a brief flurry of offense who ultimately succumbs to their larger opponent's will. Lisp or not, Swagger has all the tools to be a big deal in the professional wrestling business, and he got to showcase them here.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Finlay vs. Mike Knox: Ziggler has been the subject of a lot of positive talk on the Internets lately and I've been a bit slower than most to jump on the bandwagon. This happens a lot with me…I might not be from Missouri, but I still need you to show me something before I'm a true believer. This was a really solid triple threat match that didn't have a lot of pause in the action, which can be pretty hard to pull off if you don't have the right three guys in there. Knox's physique hasn't benefited from the Wellness plan, but he shows flashes of potential to do things that most big guys can't do. And of course his beard rules. Finlay is Finlay, as he's been pretty awesome since his return to active competition a couple of years ago and has to be considered one of the best fifty-one year olds to ever step into a wrestling ring. With Dolph's victory, a run with the Intercontinental title seems to be in his future. I don't get the Curt Hennig comparisons (other than the hair), but it could be an interesting trip for Mr. Ziggler.

PURGATORY:

Paul Burchill vs. Hurricane: The whole concept of this feud is somewhat peculiar, as it's not exactly a secret in WWE canon that Hurricane = Gregory Helms. I'm 95% sure that when Helms turned heel he said he was sick of being the Hurricane, so unless Paul Burchill was too busy being a pirate and hanging out with wenches at the time I'm not sure how he missed that one. Oh well, I guess I just need to suspend logic and eat up what they offer me. This was the second match of the Hurricane/Burchill feud, and I have to say that it didn't quite live up to the first. I liked the idea of Burchill going over, but he did so in a pretty weak way. I like Katie Lea Burchill, but I don't think she's as good in the valet role as she is in a wrestling role. She doesn't do a whole lot at ringside, and when she does her timing is way off and it comes off looking awkward. This is usually a sign of somebody bored with their role…to be honest there are a lot of people in WWE that I wouldn't blame for that. Hell, the definition of "somebody bored with their role" is me at my real job. It wasn't a bad match, but these two are capable of more.

THE WRONG:

NONE

THE RIDICULOUS:

Ask the Divas: According to Alicia Fox, you know if a girl is into you if you catch them staring at your butt. Mickie James suggests that you ask them. In the words of Michael Cole, stop the pain.

The 411

There were no actively bad matches on this show, as they all delivered with at least some entertainment value. After my complaint of having nothing that meant anything last week, they threw me a bone with a #1 contendership to a title on the line, so I gotta give them some credit for that. Nothing on this show was anything I would call Must See TV, unless you're a really big Ziggler fan or a Hurricane/Burchill completist.

SHOW RATING: 7.0

---

By: Daniel Wilcox

iMpact! 08.27.09:

THE RIGHT:

No DQ – Hamada vs. Daffney: So how about them crazy ass chicks, huh? I said last week that TNA really needed to bring in some more Knockout's before proceeding with this Knockout's Tag Championship thing, and it appears as though they may have stumbled across a winner here, as Hamada (along with Daffney) put on a terrific match here that really caught the attention of the Impact zone. For whatever reason, this was a No DQ bout but I think the stipulation helped both workers put on a better match. Truth be told this was probably the best women's match I've seen all year and would rekindle my faith in the division, if it weren't for the fact that the Knockout's title is set to be contested by ODB and a man, but more on that later. Hopefully these two women and the writing team will capitalize on this great performance in the immediate future.

Six-Man Main Event: So our main event of the evening saw Sting, AJ and Hernandez team up to take on Mafia members Matt Morgan, Booker T and Scott Steiner. Lots of capable workers in this match, and it equated to a fun main event with everyone working well together. I continue to dig the chemistry between the Mafia and Morgan as they try to co-exist, and I very much anticipate an Angle/Morgan match in the near future.

PURGATORY:

Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed vs. Traci Brooks and Sharmell: So this was the opening match in the ill-advised Knockout's Tag Team Tournament and considering the limitations of one of the teams, the match itself was rather competent for the most part, albeit short, but then we've come to expect that. What I can't quite wrap my head around is the thought process behind having one of the few actual teams in this tournament having issues. Kong and Saeed and The Beautiful People are the only two actual teams in this tournament and we already have tension between the former pairing. What the hell is the point of bringing in tag titles when you have very few teams, and then you plant the seeds of breaking up one of those teams. The whole thing is a bit of a shambles, if we're all honest.

Jesse Neal vs. Rhino: Jesse Neal is one of those characters who serves absolutely no purpose on this show. Rhino is a guy who I like, is talented, and should probably be featured more than he is on the show. Normally anything involving Neal I would put straight into the "wrong", but I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed seeing Rhino beat the crap out of this guy and tearing him apart with a Gore. Now if we could just get the guy off of the show all together, I'd be a much happier wrestling fan.

Bounty Match – Abyss vs. THE GUNS~!: Yeah, the Guns are awesome, Abyss is a solid big man and this match, short as it was, kind of rocked. But, I hate the angle, and I hate that we're jobbing both of the Guns to one guy. Seriously, I know it's an IWC cliché to say this, but can we not find something better for The Guns to do? Also, Nash vs. Abyss will be either glorious, or a complete fucking train wreck. Or both. No middle ground I'm afraid.

D'Angelo Dinero and Samoa Joe vs. Daniels and Suicide: I'm almost tired of bringing up the exact same points for nearly every match on Impact; the in-ring stuff was good, but the same issues keep cropping up – the match was gutted by a commercial, it was too short, the wrong guy(s) went over etc. And all of that rings true here. All four guys worked really hard and they put on what I thought was a very strong match. However, the commercial really hurt it and because it wasn't a particularly long match, it didn't feel terribly important, which is a shame because all four guys looked good. Finally, I don't think it's too great an idea to have Dinero take the pin in his second match on Impact.

THE WRONG:

Dixie Debuts: Yeah, I didn't really like this, nor did I get the point of her showing up essentially to big up TNA and Lashley. I never have and probably never will have any interest in hearing the guy talk, and although I like both workers, I also have no interest in seeing Lashley and Rhino work a match at No Surrender. I mean seriously, how is that the best opponent they could come up with for the guy's pay-per-view debut?

THE RIDICULOUS:

ODB and Cody Deaner: You knew this was coming. I've covered this crap for weeks now, it's the same old shit. I'm not going to waste my time listing every reason why these two, and the situation with the Knockout's title, is a joke. You know it's fucked up, I know it's fucked up, let's just get on with our lives and hope they rectify this situation as soon as possible.

The 411

A weaker show compared to previous weeks as the matches weren't as strong, didn't get as much time and more often than not were hurt by the placement of commercial breaks. That said, the big angles are still going on strong and there was a fair amount of solid in-ring work here. In honesty, the show was probably stronger than my comments suggest as a lot of the issues with this show were just small ones. Of course, there are still some hideous angles and characters, (ODB/Deaner, Neal), that need to be dropped immediately.

SHOW RATING: 7.0

---

By: Jeremy Thomas

WWE SmackDown 08.28.09

THE RIGHT:

THIS COMPANY AINT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US: SmackDown started off with the announcement of CM Punk taking on Jeff Hardy in a rematch for the World Heavyweight title in a steel cage. Immediately after, Justin Roberts introduced Punk as the new and only Straight Edge World Heavyweight Champion in history. Now see, that was brilliant. The fans immediately amped up the heat the second Roberts got that out of his mouth, and it is things like that which are going to get him more and more over. Punk hobbled down to the ring and busted out with the heat-getter right off the bat: "I told you so!" He gave us a video recap of the TLC match from SummerSlam and said he's never felt more alive than he did right there in the ring, and none of us can feel the same way because we take shortcuts. This was a great heel self-congratulatory promo that didn't go the over-the-top route of balloons and confetti, but had that same feel to it. This was the final push of comparing the crowd to Jeff Hardy, and he did it fantastically before he moved on to the Undertaker's robbing him of his moment. He called being forced into a cage match unfair and then busted out his catch-phrase "Straight Edge means I'm better than you."

This, of course, brought the Day-Glo Warrior himself to the crowd's adulation. He made a slow and painful-looking walk to the ring while Punk steamed at how much the crowd loved him, then got on the mic and told the champ his reign was going to be over tonight. Hardy got on Punk for being on his high horse and such, and Punk called Jeff intoxicated for thinking he could beat Punk tonight. Punk said he was sick of people booing him and cheering Jeff, and that led into the match becoming a Loser Leaves the WWE match. I appreciated Jeff's work and thought it was one of his better promos, while Punk was solid as always. The end of the segment was Teddy Long sanctioning it and booking the winner in a submission match at Breaking Point. See, this was just fantastic, and for those who wondered why I had problems with Raw's opening thing was this: this segment took up about half the time, still entertained, and went to a point. Jeff Hardy and CM Punk (with a brief assist from Teddy) were more entertaining on the mic than Shawn, 'H and Vince. Think about THAT for a second.

DIVA-DOLPH DRAMAZ: Backstage, Melina and Maria were arguing about Maria's relationship with Dolph. Melina apparently saw Dolph cheating on Maria post-SummerSlam with another girl. Onoz! Maria then got a little bitchy and told Melina that she was jealous of her, before walking off and Dolph showed up. Maria asked him about it and he said that it was his sister. You know what, I'll give them credit here for one thing—Dolph actually looked sincere and didn't do the wink-wink at the camera thing where he smiles triumphantly. What if it really was his sister, and Melina's barking up the wrong tree? Yes, I know that's very unlikely, but I thought this carried off well and it could lead to some good places if handled right.

R-TRUTH vs. DREW McINTYRE: Okay, obviously I'm not going to rate this as a match because it wasn't one. This was McIntyre's debut and he made it by bitch-slapping Truth with a kick to the head as he entered the ring and then beat him the hell down. It ended with a series of nasty knee strikes while in a front facelock followed by a nasty DDT, and then McIntyre got on the mic and made fun of Truth before saying the party was over. Frankly, I loved this. They haven't dressed Drew up in some sort of hokey Scottish gimmick despite the obvious accent and he made an impact by stomping all over a popular midcarder. This was a great, if short, debut and I'm hoping for good things from this guy, who I thought was good in his very brief first run in the 'E.

JEFF HARDY vs. CM PUNK: Before the match we had a brief little bit of Jeff getting make-up'd up, and Matt giving him his props. Then the cage lowered and we had a great main event match that was quite simply a fitting swan song to the Punk/Hardy feud. Was it as good as their SummerSlam match? Obviously not. But that's not any sort of condemnation here. The goal here was two things: entertain the crowd, which it obviously did, and put Punk over even more as the brand's—and possibly even the company's—top heel. Punk started off by attacking Jeff in the midst of his entrance and then tossed him around the ringside area before the match even began. He then tried to climb the cage quickly, but Jeff fought back. They gave this match over twenty minutes of in-ring action and both men made the most of it. They managed to string together a great, well-paced match, which kept the crowd hot and yet didn't try to overdo things. Both men sold their injuries from SummerSlam well and still found ways to do some great work. As some have noted, there were definite shades of the Bret/Owen cage match from WrestleMania X and that's not a comparison that can ever be considered a bad thing. They actually amped up the drama very well and almost made people believe that Jeff had a chance with his close calls, but in the end Punk of course won. More importantly, he won cleanly as Jeff did the right thing and put his opponent over. This was the conclusion of a feud that was every bit of what we hoped it would be, and it concluded things beautifully. And you know what I REALLY loved? When Punk finally won and Jeff lay in the ring while the victor's music played, JR and Grish went dead silent for a little bit. They let the moment speak for themselves, and it did so beautifully. I have said many times that the production team doesn't get the credit they deserve, but neither do the SmackDown announce team. Kudos to every aspect of this match and everyone who contributed to it.

Of course, we weren't done yet. We had Jeff in the ring at the end, and the crowd gave him a "Thank You Jeff" chant. Jeff took a moment and said thank you to the fans, keeping in character and promises that this wasn't goodbye forever. I really liked this moment. It wasn't great Hardy promo work, but he gave props to the fans and put Matt over on his way out. I really don't remember a time when one person has done so much for his fellow workers in his departure from the company, including the final attack from Punk that had the arena just livid. Thanks you, Jeff. Come back soon.

PURGATORY:

JOHN MORRISON & MATT HARDY vs. THE HART DYNASTY: It was great to see, first of all, that they don't seem to be set on making Matt a heel again. And they're smart to do so, because Matt and Morrison both got great pops on the way down to the ring while the Harts got their usual decent heel reaction. A tag team match with a guy like Morrison, against an established time like Kidd and Smith, was a great way to help Hardy get back into the swing of things and get some ring rust shaken off. They had a tolerable match here; it wasn't great and did feel a little sloppy at times, though. There wasn't much of a flow or story here, it just went for as long as it had time and then ended with Morrison getting the win with Starship Pain. I think they probably could have done more with a little more time and I certainly didn't dislike the match, I was just expecting more from them and that's what keeps it out of the Right. Sometimes great expectations can hurt you.

LAYLA vs. MELINA: Before this match started, Michelle McCool came out on crutches and said she was injured due to the attack from Melina last week…"for no good reason." She had the crowd pissed at her with her promo, which was nicely self-aggrandizing. She introduced Layla as her good friend, then glared as Melina made her way to the ring. This match was good work from both Melina and Layla. I have been accused of not giving Layla a lot of credit as of late, but she did some good things here and paired off well against Melina. The problem here is that it was way too short. They didn't have enough time to make a good match and as much as I would love to give them more credit with a Right, I can't to no fault of either of theirs. I almost wonder if Melina's on her way toward a heel turn, between this and the ambiguity of the Dolph/Maria/Melina thing. It would quite possibly be good for her.

REY REY vs. KANE: Okay, so the question in many peoples' minds was, was it smart of them to keep the announcement of the match between Rey Rey vs. Dolph at Breaking Point? The man was already set to be suspended and we know it's not happening. However, I didn't have a problem with this. They can announce things from the business side and not have it affect storylines, and I can see them having Dolph beat Rey next week on SmackDown and then "injure" him to put him out for the suspension period. But then, this was also before Rey pissed off everyone in the company by giving an interview in Mexico, so who knows at this point? Kane came down to the ring to almost no reaction, which makes me sad. The match followed fairly standard Kane vs. Rey booking, with the big guy dominating early on only to have the lame duck IC Champion bounce back. The difference here was that Kane seemed to get more offense against Rey Rey than he usually does. He actually controlled the majority of the match and then got the loss only by DQ, before Khali came down. Really, we need to see this feud continue? The match wasn't bad and Dolph coming in to nail Rey post-match, but I hate that they're just using it to continue the Kane/Khali feud that no one cares about.

CHRIS JERICHO (and BIG SHOW) vs. SHAD (AND JTG): Before the match, Jericho and Show came down with their music while J.R. and T-Grish showed how MVP got the assist from Mayweather in getting a title shot against the champs. Jericho got on the mic, sporting a bruise on his jaw, and ran down the challengers before saying that the honest champions will win when needed. Frankly, not one of Jericho's best promos, particularly since it pretty much echoed Punk's promo to start the show and was delivered in a sleep-inducing tempo. Shad came down all fired up with JTG at his side and started beating the hell out of Jericho. This lasted for a short while and certainly made Shad look good, before Show pulled Jericho out make the save and it turned into a big-ass brawl. That led to the match becoming a tag match. Honestly, if they wanted to do a tag match, why not do it? This just didn't feel right and came off completely disjointed by the match modification. If they had carried out a full tag match with the time given it would have been good, and if it had been a singles match it would have been the same. As it is, these four tried but the booking wouldn't let them do anything great.

THE WRONG:

NONE

THE RIDICULOUS:

DID YOU KNOW?: Nope. And, as always, I don't care.

The 411

It's rare when a show really has nothing I flat-out didn't like, but this was one of those shows. Clearly, it was built around the Hardy/Punk match and that was where most of the best stuff lied. At the same time, we had the development of the Dolph and Maria relationship which was interesting and Drew McIntyre's promising debut. What things I had problems with still had definite upsides, and in the end this was a show that didn't have a single "turn it off" moment. Kudos to the Blue Brand for that, and it will be interesting to see where SmackDown develops from here in the post-Jeff Hardy era. I tell you one thing though, I'm gonna miss the Day-Glo Warrior until he returns.

SHOW RATING: 8.5

From JUSTINW:
We should have no problem at all that Vince pinned Randy Orton. First of all, Orton has won at three stright PPV's, clean or not. Second, Vince didn't do any damage to him. He was beaten down 3 on 1. Finally, he can whine about not even being the legal man, which he was not.

Pretty much what I said, so obviously I agree. This worked fine and I had no problem with it.


From Guest#0317:
Dude seriously lighten up. And i think the Iwc needs to lighten up as well. Just enjoy the show. Which i did on Monday and i enjoyed it more. Stop complaining about everything. That's the problem with Iwc. And i did'nt mind that Vince pinned Randy. Since Randy has been hot lately and it didn't suffer his image. I actually enjoyed the opening segment. You forget Jeremy. That the Rock's: This is your life, was almost twenty minutes long and it was in the middle of the show. If i'm not mistaken. And if i am oh well. But still.

You know what, you're right..."This is Your Life" lasted about as long. And had I been writing R's at that time, I would have called it out for being so, too. I actually didn't like that segment all that much and still don't. But at least that was building a dynamic between a tag team, whereas this was just D-X and Vince clowning around for twenty-odd minutes. I laughed at it, sure, but by about fifteen minutes in I'd stopped laughing and stoppped caring. It was overdone and dragged out for too long.


From Devin:
Just to point out, Show and Jericho did NOT face Cryme Tyme this past week. Not sure why they were listed up there.

A few people noted this, some with amusing accusations. I'll be honest, I was a bit behind schedule and my mind went with the fact that we had just seen the two feuding so while I typed the title (which is generally no-brainer template-type stuff for matches), it went on autopilot. My bad!


From Shockmaster:
Mark Henry was in the ring for about one minute of that match. While I agree it's best to limit his involvement, an almost immediate tag back to MVP, who was still visibly tired from going so long, just looked bad. This was effectively a handicap match with one legal run-in, and did the champs no favors. The pairing and result is fine, I just don't like how they got there. Choosing the only other black men on Raw's roster to follow Cryme Tyme raises my eyebrow a bit, especially when MVP was already in a feud.

BIG, LONG OPENING THINGAMABOB: I had this in FF and STILL got bored waiting for it to end. Read this entire column aloud and time yourself. That's two entire shows of storylines and recaps and it doesn't take that long. I don't hate Vince, he serves a purpose on TV. He's just not why I watch and should get an amount of time that reflects that fact. No one segment needs over 15 minutes, ever. As far as I can tell being on Raw makes Vince a face and SD makes him a heel, but I'll just throw my hands up on that one and save my sanity.

SIX-DIVA TAG MATCH: The one part of this I loved was Mickie's skirt, which she had to wrestle with more than her opponents. I almost felt like I was willing it to ride up again and again. I miss her tiny miniskirts. As a commenter said last time: If Mickie is fat, then I love fat girls.

You make a good point with the tag match, although I took it more as just MVP needing to catch his breath. I don't think there's any racial undertones to MVP and Mizark following up on Cryme Tyme's feud, I think they just stuck two guys together and that's my problem with it. We're in 100% agreement on the opening segment of course, and as for the Diva match, well...all I'll say is that all this ridiculous "Mickie's fat" bullshit has made me start listening to a lot of Queen. Thank you, I'll be here all week, tip your waitress.


From Matt Dawson:
I think you "sometimes" like Big Dick Johnson.

Thanks for reading!


From The Great Capt. Smooth:
I can picture DX, Cena, and Vince as a badass face stable and I don't care what anybody says, goofy Vince is much better than PO'd Vince. I'm also getting sick of Horny and Chavo, but it's not enough to make me rail against it. Maybe it's the fact that it takes up about 5 minutes a week and not much more. Maybe it's because they are both great in their roles. Honestly, I wouldn't mind them becoming friends after this and pranking the other wrestlers.

You know what, that would be an interesting stable. Just don't, for the love of the gods, call it D-X. And I would welcome Chavo and Horny becoming friends, because it may end up sucking but at least it would mean this whole assed up segment that's stuck on permanent repeat WENT somewhere.

---

**LARRY'S** RANKINGS THUS FAR

2009 PPV Rankings:
-ROH RISING ABOVE {8.0}
-WWE NO WAY OUT {8.0}
-TNA SLAMMIVERSARY {8.0}

-TNA SACRIFICE {7.5}
-WWE BACKLASH {7.5}
-TAKE NO PRISONERS {7.4}
-WWE ROYAL RUMBLE {7.3}
-TNA GENESIS {7.2}
-TNA LOCKDOWN {7.2}
-ROH CAGED COLLISION {7.1}
-WWE WRESTLEMANIA {7.0}
-WWE SUMMERSLAM {7.0}

-WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS {6.9}
-WWE THE BASH {6.9}
-WWE EXTREME RULES {6.8}

-WWE JUDGMENT DAY {6.5}

-TNA HARD JUSTICE {5.9}
-TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS {5.5}

-TNA DESTINATION X {3.5}

-TNA VICTORY ROAD {2.0}

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2009 TOP PPV Match Rankings:
-[WWE WRESTLEMANIA] – HBK vs. The Undertaker (*****)

-[ROH RISING ABOVE] - ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Nigel McGuinness © vs. Bryan Danielson (****½)
-[WWE NO WAY OUT] – THE SMACKDOWN ELIMINATION CHAMBER (****½)
-[WWE BACKLASH] – LAST MAN STANDING: Edge vs. John Cena (****½)
-[WWE THE BASH] – MASK vs. TITLE: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (****½)
-[WWE SUMMERSLAM] – TLC WORLD TITLE MATCH: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk (****½)

-[TAKE NO PRISONERS] – Tyler Black & KENTA vs. Austin Aries & Katsuhiko Nakajima (****¼)
-[ROH RISING ABOVE] – I QUIT MATCH: Jimmy Jacobs vs. Austin Aries (****¼)
-[TNA GENESIS] - Kurt Angle defeated Jeff Jarrett (****¼)
-[TNA GENESIS] - X-Division Title Match: Alex Shelley defeated Chris Sabin (****¼)
-[TNA SLAMMIVERSARY] – X-Division King of the Mountain Match: Suicide vs. Lethal vs. Creed vs. Sabin vs. Shelley (****¼)
-[WWE NO WAY OUT] – THE RAW ELIMINATION CHAMBER (****¼)

-[WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS] – WORLD TITLE MATCH: CM Punk © vs. Jeff Hardy (****)
-[WWE EXTREME RULES] – IC TITLE MATCH: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (****)
-[WWE EXTREME RULES] – WORLD TITLE LADDER MATCH: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy (****)
-[TNA SLAMMIVERSARY] – TNA World Title King of the Mountain Match: Foley vs. Angle vs. AJ vs. Joe vs. Jarrett (****)

-[ROH CAGED COLLISION] #1 CONTENDERS MATCH – Tyler Black vs. Jimmy Jacobs vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries (***¾)
-[ROH CAGED COLLISION] ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH – Nigel McGuinness vs. El Generico (***¾)
-[TNA SACRIFICE] – I QUIT LEGENDS TITLE MATCH – Booker T vs. AJ Styles © (***¾)
-[TNA SACRIFICE] – Eric Young and Lethal Consequences vs. The Machineguns and Sheik Abdul Bashir (***¾)
-[TNA LOCKDOWN] – PHILLY STREET FIGHT: IWGP vs. TNA TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH – Team 3D vs. Beer Money (***¾)
-[TNA DESTINATION X] - X-Division Title Ultimate X Match: Suicide defeated Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal (***¾)
-[TNA HARD JUSTICE] - X-Division Title #1 Contender's TERROR DOME Match: Christopher Daniels defeated Suicide, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed, Amazing Red, D'Angelo Dinero and Jay Lethal (***¾)
-[WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – THE ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH (***¾)
-[WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – WWE TITLE MATCH: Edge defeated Jeff Hardy (***¾)
-[WWE WRESTLEMANIA] – MONEY IN THE BANK (***¾)
-[WWE JUDGMENT DAY] – Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (***¾)
-[WWE SUMMERSLAM] – DX vs. Legacy (***¾)

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2009 PPV MVP AWARDS:
Not every PPV will have one, it just depends on who I think steps up and deserves some extra recognition.

-[TNA GENESIS] Sabin, Shelley, Angle and Jarrett – Rocking The House
-[ROH RISING ABOVE] – Danielson and McGuinness - Defining the ROH World Title
-[WWE ROYAL RUMBLE] – RVD – The Joke Pays Off
-[WWE NO WAY OUT] – EDGE – The Ultimate Opportunist
-[WWE WRESTLEMANIA] – HBK and The Undertaker – Stealing the Show
-[ROH CAGED COLLISION] – Nigel McGuinness – Better Than You Sugar Nuts
-[TNA LOCKDOWN] - Christopher Daniels – Pulling Double Duty
-[WWE BACKLASH] – Edge and John Cena – Stealing the Show
-[TNA SACRIFICE] – The TNA Roster – Making the Best Out of Shitty Booking
-[WWE EXTREME RULES] – Rey, Jericho, Edge and Hardy – They Are Awesome
-[TAKE NO PRISONERS] – Tyler Black, KENTA, Austin Aries and Katsuhiko Nakajima – Main Event Excellence
-[TNA SLAMMIVERSARY] – Daffney and Taylor Wilde – Two Hardcore Bitches
-[WWE THE BASH] – Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho – Making the Show Worth It
-[WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS] – CM Punk – Solidifying His Spot
-[TNA HARD JUSTICE] – The Terror Dome Guys – Continuing to deliver despite the booking of the division
-[WWE SUMMERSLAM] – CM Punk and Jeff Hardy – THIS IS AWESOME!

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2009 TOP TV Match Rankings:
I will update as often as needed.

-Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 07.25.09) {****½ }

-Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio - (Smackdown: 07.10.09) {****¼}
-ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Jerry Lynn vs. Austin Aries vs. Tyler Black vs. Bryan Danielson – (ROH on HDNet: 06.06.09) {****¼}
-TABLES ARE LEGAL TAG TITLE MATCH: Kevin Steen and El Generico © vs. The American Wolves – (ROH on HDNet: 05.30.09) {****¼}


-STEEL CAGEMATCH: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk - (Smackdown: 08.28.09) {****}
-Jeff Hardy vs. John Morrison - (Smackdown: 07.31.09) {****}
-Edge vs. Rey Mysterio - (Smackdown: 06.05.09) {****}
-Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 04.25.09) {****}
-Evan Bourne vs. John Morrison - (ECW: 04.14.09) {****}
-Christian vs. Jack Swagger - (ECW: 02.24.09) {****}
-Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena - (Raw: 01.12.09) {****}

-Christian vs. Zack Ryder - (ECW: 07.28.09) {***¾}
- Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho - (Smackdown: 07.24.09) {***¾}
-Edge vs. John Morrison - (Smackdown: 06.12.09) {***¾}
-Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk - (Raw: 06.08.09) {***¾}
-Edge vs. Jeff Hardy - (Smackdown: 06.12.09) {***¾}
-CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho - (Superstars: 05.21.09) {***¾}
-Bryan Danielson vs. Tyler Black – (ROH on HDNet: 05.09.09) {***¾}
-Bryan Danielson vs. Austin Aries – (ROH on HDNet: 04.04.09) {***¾}
-Beer Money vs. Team Canada – (Impact: 02.19.09) {***¾}
-Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles – (Impact: 01.22.09) {***¾}

And I'm out of here!