Match A Day 09.17.09: Week 22 - WWE TV May 2009

Posted by Jake Chambers on 09.17.2009

Why should Pay-Per-View DVDs have all the fun? The WWE TV shows in May had some of the best matches of the year showcasing some of the best young stars today, especially if you love Kofi Kingston as much as I do!

Previously on Match A Day:

-Jake Chambers swore off watching Pro-Wrestling in regular continuity following the continual letdown of television and pay-per-view, finally ending at the super lame Wrestlemania 25.

-taking a break from reading websites, backstage gossip, and taping and live results, Jake decided to only watch ONE match a day of old matches and international wrestling, while following the American continuity on delay, buying DVDs and borrowing tapes a few months in advance, inspired by the way in which he usually followed Ring of Honor.

-then "Jake" (not his real name) had a breakdown and now he's not as much of as smart ass as he used to be! Me, I'm his girlfriend Katie (you'll know it's me talking when you see this beautiful red font) and I have to take care of him 24/7 now, and just to keep him happy I let him watch one match a day and write out his rambling, moronic thoughts, which I then copy edit into something decent… You're welcome :P

And now MAD Week 22 begins…

Match #143 – Sunday, August 23rd
Winner to Choose ‘Extreme Rules' Title Match Stipulation: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy
[WWE Smackdown, May 2009]

What a chicken! Edge didn't even want this match, but thanks to the fans, Teddy Long forced him to wrestle. And what a burn… he lost! Jeff Hardy took a lot of risks, and hit his head on the canvas a lot during this one, but in the end he got a big Swanton Bomb for the victory!

I was on the edge of my seat at the end, what kind of stipulation would he choose for their title match at Extreme Rules? Cage Match? Ironman Match? No Holds Barred maybe? The options were limitless? And the announcement was…

"Ladder Match!"

Oh yeah! That's gonna rule! I can't remember the last time I saw a ladder match, Jeff Hardy is the ultimate Ladder Match wrestler, and I don't think he's ever lost one of these. It's on Edge! Looks like your title reign is just about Ov-aH!

Match #144 – Monday, August 24th
US Title, #1 Contender, Triple Threat Match: Matt Hardy vs. William Regal vs. Kofi Kingston
[WWE RAW, May 2009]

Kofi has his work cut out for him in this one, as there is no way he can expect fair play from these two troublemakers. But alas, all it took was two Trouble in Paradise spinning kicks in a row, to make short work of these lowly scoundrels.



Good riddance you jerks! I don't want to be the one to say, "I told you so," once Kofi is a World Champion, so I'll just say it now! Boo-yah!

(OMG I need 2 interrupt! Forgive me, but something utterly life changing is going on here, that I need 2 get off my chest. 4 some reason these damn pigeons have perched on the windowsill of an apartment in the bldg nxt 2 ours. They basically live in the window frame of that apartment. We are so close, that if u open our window you cUd probably touch the nxt bldg w/yr fingertips if u stretched. So I can hear this pigeon couple coo-ing all day, it's soooo annoying! Been waking me ^ @ 7am 4 the past 48hrs now!)

Match #145 – Tuesday, August 25th
Special 10-Man Tag Match: Denver Nuggets (The Miz, Cody Rhodes, Ted Dibiase, Big Show & Randy Orton) vs. Los Angeles Lakers (MVP, Jerry ‘the King' Lawler, Mr. Kennedy, John Cena & Batista)
[WWE RAW, May 2009]

Let me just say, what the Denver Nuggets organization did to the WWE, by trying to cancel an episode of RAW for an NBA playoff game, was just despicable. WWE fans deserved as much respect as those who follow the NBA. Sure, the WWE has no playoffs, but in my mind that just makes every week of equal importance! So, if you ask me, the Denver Nuggest should have changed the date of their playoff game first to accommodate the ‘playoff' episode of RAW they were so lucky to be hosting!

A classic moment in this historic tag team metaphor had to be when John Cena and MVP did their big moves at the same time, Cena with his ‘U Can't See Me' punch, and MVP with his ‘Ballin' elbow. Wow, I never thought I'd see that!



And with that, the Lakers win! Of course, it's just like the Denver Nuggets to try something else underhanded, they tried to attack the Lakers wrestlers after the match. But guess what, the Lakers (and the WWE, heh-heh) out did them again, and the Big Show got a massive double suplex by Cena and Batista for his troubles. No championships this year… losers!

(I apologize again 4 breaking N2 this refreshing brilliant commentary on high art, but I'm so frustrated !0_0! Those damn birds have been coo-ing all day long! It's so distracting, I can barely concentrate! Just needed 2 vent.)

Match #146 – Wednesday, August 26th
Handicap Match: Jack Swagger & The Hart Dynasty (David Hart Smith & Tyson Kidd) vs. Christian & Tommy Dreamer
[WWE ECW, May 2009]

First of all, a handicap match is tough to win. For those who don't know, that means you have three people on one team and only two people on the other. That means the team with three can always tag in a fresher wrestler faster than the team with only two, so it's rare to win one of these kinds of matches. Christian and Tommy tried, but they just couldn't keep up with numbers!

Secondly, Christian and Tommy are going to be opponents for the ECW Title at the Extreme Rules Pay-Per-View that is coming up, so it's extra hard for them to get along like teammates. Technically they should be busy scouting each other, looking for weaknesses, and making a game plan to beat the other man, not co-operating and working together.

So I can't blame Christian or Tommy for losing this one, even if they are better in everyway than the snobby, entitled, brats on the opposing side.



(W@ I don't undeRst&, is why those MFN morons in the apartment ax frm our window don't shoo away those damn pigeons! I mean, I can hear em so clearly, lk they're perched on my fuking 4hed, so what's wrong with those idiots! 1 more day of this and I'm throwN some rox! MayB there's no rox around, but I'll find something… like mayB one of these damn wrestling DVDs!)

Match #147 – Thursday, August 27th
John Cena vs. Ted Dibiase
[WWE Superstars, May 2009]

Indestructible! That's John Cena for you; the man is unbreakable, unstoppable, unhuman! Unbelievable! Ted had his moments in this match, but nothing he could do seemed to slow John down for long. Ted tapped out as soon as John locked in his unbeatable STF!

In this one, I didn't understand why the referee would let Ted use closed fisted punches, directly to John's forehead, about three straight times! I thought that was illegal in wrestling, this isn't a street fight!



Still, after those pure punches, somehow John was back on his feet in no time! If that were me, I'd be out for minutes after just one! What's even more incredible is to think that only a few weeks ago, John was smashed through an exploding spotlight by the Big Show! What is he, Superman?!

(I wsh Superman w%d cum ovr here n punch the shit outa deez fukng pigeons)

Match #148 – Friday, August 28th
Handicap Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Edge & Chris Jericho
[WWE Smackdown, May 2009]

Remember when I talked about how hard it was to win a 2-on-3-handicap match? Well, Jeff Hardy is in an even worse situation here! He doesn't even have anyone to tag in so he could recuperate. Nope, he had to stay in there the whole time! And of course, like the villains they are, Edge and Chris even resorted to illegal double-teaming to win!

Even worse though, is the reason why this was a handicap match. It was supposed to be Rey Mysterio in there on Jeff's team, but he was blindsided by a fan at ringside.

Guess what, that was no fan! It was Chris Jericho! What a total a**hole! That's right, I said it! It's one thing to attack a man from behind, but to dress up like a kid and invade Rey's very personal style of bonding with his young fans, well, that's just unconscionable. I just lost even more respect for Chris than ever! When will this man be punished, or even fired!



Match #149 – Saturday, August 29th
WWE US Title Match: MVP vs. Kofi Kingston
[WWE RAW, June 2009]

Okay, so it's not technically a May match, but it was June 1st, so close enough, right?

And technically, it doesn't get better than this! Kofi Kingston as US Champion! These two did it all, in one of the greatest US Title matches of all time! I couldn't believe some of the moves Kofi was laying down in this one, or the reversals that MVP was pulling out of his chapeau (I'm not sure if I still totally trust this guy yet, but he's warming on me).

Seems a bit strange to me that Kofi still didn't get a World Title shot after basically defeating Edge on Superstars a few weeks before this, but still this is just another stepping stone towards that eventual reality for the future of wrestling, Mr. Kofi Kingston!



----

I've been reading some good website articles again this week, and wow… I remember all of these movies, and they were all great, but I didn't realize they were remakes! Check it out: A Bloody Good Time

(Ugh, well, I'm glad he's enjoying himself, he's too lamo these days to even know w@ these damn birds are ^2! Wanna know what's worse than those damn pigeons, now there's some new dog that has started barking @ like 5 in the AM! So now, I get to be woken up by that damn k9 @ 5, those pigeons keep me ^ past 7, and I'm totally frazzled all day! I can't believe that "Jake" jst lays there asleep with that lamo, snoring grin on his face the whole time! Arggh!)