The Wrestling News Experience: 09.28.09
Posted by Stephen Randle on 09.28.2009
In this Experience, a preview of tonight's controversially charged Raw, The Rock comes back, WWE uses a thesaurus to name PPVs, Lawler makes it to the debates, and Hulk Hogan gets in trouble with the Hells Angels. Apparently he forgot Altamont…
Monday, September 28th, 2009
From 411Mania's Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!
WWNPHD?
Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Experience, I am Stephen Randle. And as the Jays limp to the finish line, I could be happy that at least the hockey season starts in a week. Of course, the Leafs probable top scorer doesn't actually come back from injury until November, so it could be another very long season. At least some people can pick a winner in at least one sport, I get to spend the entire year living vicariously through a string of disappointments. At least maybe I can sue MLSE for my eventual heart condition.
Moving on.
Tonight's Host: America, I Also Have A Dream: More Movies Starring Ice Cube
Last week, Randy Orton managed to gain some measure of vengeance against WWE Champion John Cena, as by defeated Cena's team in a six-man tag match, Cena must now face Orton, The Big Show, and Chris Jericho in a gauntlet match, just seven days before Cena must defend his championship inside Hell in a Cell. But will victory be as important to Orton as ensuring that Cena enters the Pay-Per-View at less than 100%? I think we all know the answer to that. In addition, Orton's Legacy comrades continue to have their hands full fending off D-Generation X, and the self-proclaimed future of wrestling has actually managed to hold their own against the crafty veteran duo. But all that can change in an instant, and both Triple H and Shawn Michaels will be looking to capitalize on any mistake.
Plus, Kofi Kingston looks to continue defending his United States title against the combined assaults of The Miz and Jack Swagger, plus the potential slew of challengers that might be looking for a chance at the Jamaican Sensation's gold.
Meanwhile, Alicia Fox is still the #1 Contender to the Diva's title, and Mickie James has been on something of a slide lately, including a quick loss to the Glamazon last week. Will James' hold on her championship come to an end this week?
All this, plus the controversial Reverend Al Sharpton and a brand-new Raw ring announcer, tonight on Raw!
Finally…The Rock Has Come Back To Pretaped Promos!
It's true, everyone's favourite wrestler turned minor Hollywood star Dwayne "I Used To Be The Rock" Johnson will be putting on an appearance on this week's tenth anniversary celebration for the show that he had a hand in creating, Smackdown. Actually, according to the "Best of Smackdown" DVD, the term "smackdown" didn't even exist until Rocky brought it to the forefront, so I guess we have him to thank for all those political pundits talking about Linda McMahon "putting the smackdown" on her senate opponents.
I'm just kidding, nobody's talking about Linda's run for senate.
Anyway, before you get too excited, the segment starring the Rock is pre-taped, and has already been filmed. Actually, go ahead and get excited, because pre-taped or not, it's still the Rock cutting a promo, and you know it's going to be gold. Of course, a cynical fan might point out that the fact that fans are so starved for a good promo that they'll latch on to a short pre-taped segment featuring a guy who hasn't been a serious part of wrestling for years is a sad commentary on the current state of wrestling but…I'll stop now before I depress myself.
Flushing Money Down The Elimination Chamber
Yes, WWE continues to have the desire to rename all their PPVs for reasons that escape anyone who isn't actually in charge of the re-naming, and this time, it's No Way Out's turn. Despite the fact that "No Way Out" is a well-established name with obvious connotations towards a giant steel structure that you can't escape from, and has already held Elimination Chamber matches as feature bouts both of the last two years and looks to do so again this year, WWE seems dissatisfied with the name, and has submitted a survey to the WWE Universe to determine the new name for their February PPV. For your consideration:
- No Way Out (obviously, no change)
- Elimination Chamber (continuing the creatively bankrupt tradition of Hell in a Cell and Tables, Ladders, and Chairs)
- Heavy Metal (I hope someone checked to make sure the movie doesn't already hold that trademark)
- Chamber of Conflict (hooray for PG!)
- Battle Chamber
Once again I find myself asking who got paid to come up with these names. Seriously, did they type "Elimination Chamber" into Microsoft Word and then check the thesaurus for the top four "close matches"? Actually, there's no way they did that much work, because if they had, after seven years with the gimmick, they might have finally figured out that "elimination chamber" is English slang for "toilet".
President Obama Doesn't Care About Wrestling Fans
Here's how you know it's a slow news week: one of our big news items is about how President Obama responded to a question about the whole "left vs right" cable news war by saying:
"It feels like WWF wrestling. You know, everybody's got their role to play."
So, if Glenn Beck and his ilk are the guys fighting in the ring, does that make me...Jon Stewart? Well, at least now the parody seems entirely appropriate.
So, is the American President a closet wrestling fan? Well, I'll let you be the judge.
Despite this, he still won.
If You're Going To Go Down, Go Down Fighting
Drama out of Memphis this past week, as Jerry Lawler's mayoral campaign, already pretty much on life support, was dealt a serious blow as the local television network announced that it would not allow him to participate in the televised candidate's debate, due to Lawler not being one of the top four candidates in recent polling. Lawler contended that while he was in fifth place, he was only one percent behind the fourth place candidate (3% to 2%, but let's not get too caught up in the reality of the no-win situation here), and thus deserved to participate. In fact, Lawler threatened to sue the station if he was not allowed to participate, leading to them allowing him and any other qualified candidates to appear on last night's debate. No word yet on how Lawler fared, but one would suspect that it would take a meltdown of Nixonian proportions by all four candidates ahead of him to have a chance. And that is the only time you will ever heard Jerry Lawler compared to JFK. Although they both do have a thing for blondes.
Hogan!
You just knew he couldn't stay out of the news, and everyone's favourite Hulkster was in the public eye not once, but twice this past week. First of all, Hogan and his new girlfriend recently got tattoos, with the girlfriend settling on getting "Terry" tattooed on her wrist (proving that hope will always triumph over experience), while Hogan decided to have "I Am That, I Am" etched on his forearm, signifying either his devotion to God or his love for spinach and grossly oversized muscles. Actually, it's a tossup.
Meanwhile, Hogan also issued an apology to the Hell's Angels for using the name of their organization in a threat against Chase Holfelder, where he claimed that he would "send a member of Hell's Angels after him", presumably not to discuss the political unrest in the Middle East. So, are we saying that the Hell's Angels aren't aggressive and violent, or were they just offended by the insinuation that they were available for hire to beat up annoying people? Because I can see how the requests would get old after a while.
Inactive List as of 09.21.09
WWE Raw
- Maryse, out indefinitely as of July 28th (knee surgery)
- Kelly Kelly, day-to-day as of September 11th (knee)
WWE SmackDown
- Edge, out indefinitely as of July 4th (torn Achilles tendon)
- Rey Mysterio, out 30 days as of September 3rd (Wellness violation)
- The Great Khali, out indefinitely as of September 15th (knee surgery)
ECW
- No reported injuries
TNA
- Jeff Jarrett, out indefinitely as of July 21st (self-imposed suspension)
Transactions
- Lacey Von Erich, signed to a TNA contract
- Lauren Mayhew, debuted as new WWE ring announcer
- Lillian Garcia, retired as WWE ring announcer
WWE
WWE Champion: John Cena
- 15 day reign, defeated Randy Orton in an "I Quit" Match on September 13th (Breaking Point PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Randy Orton, Hell in a Cell match, Hell in a Cell PPV
World Heavyweight Champion: CM Punk
- 36 day reign, defeated Jeff Hardy in a TLC Match on August 23rd (SummerSlam PPV)
- Next title defense: vs The Undertaker, Hell in a Cell match, Hell in a Cell PPV
ECW Champion: Christian
- 64 day reign, defeated Tommy Dreamer on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: John Morrison
- 24 day reign, defeated Rey Mysterio on September 4th (Smackdown)
- Next title defense: vs Dolph Ziggler, Hell in a Cell PPV
WWE United States Champion: Kofi Kingston
- 120 day reign, defeated MVP on June 1st Raw
- Next title defense: vs The Miz and Jack Swagger, Hell in a Cell PPV
WWE Undisputed Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and The Big Show
- 64 day reign (as team of Chris Jericho and Big Show), The Big Show named as replacement for former champion Edge on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
- 38 day reign (as team of Chris Jericho and Edge), defeated former champions The Colons and Legacy in a Triple Threat Match on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
WWE Women's Champion: Michelle McCool
- 92 day reign, defeated Melina on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
WWE Diva's Champion: Mickie James
- 64 day reign, defeated Maryse on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
TNA
TNA Heavyweight Champion: AJ Styles
- 8 day reign, defeated former champion Kurt Angle, Matt Morgan, Hernandez, and Sting in a Five-Way Match on September 20th (No Surrender PPV)
TNA Tag Team Champions: Scott Steiner and Booker T
- 71 day reign, defeated Beer Money, Inc. on July 19th (Victory Road PPV)
TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe
- 43 day reign, defeated Homicide on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)
TNA Knockouts Champion: ODB
- 43 day reign, defeated former champion Angelina Love and Velvet Sky in a tag match on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Taylor Wilde and Sarita
- 8 day reign, defeated The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) to win the newly created title on September 20th (No Surrender PPV)
TNA Legends Champion: Kevin Nash
- 43 day reign, defeated Mick Foley on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)
James has the only weekend news report. The search for Harrison is ongoing, but authorities are not optimistic. Mostly because we didn't actually send anyone to look.
411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT.
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And for the drunken ramblings of Sean Carless and his merry band of reprobates, check out The Wrestling Fan.
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I'm curious as to what makes the Ice Cube joke funny.
Posted By: Kris (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 01:52 AM
Randle, the Elimination Chamber has led to some of the highest drawing pay-per-views in recent memory. Do you know why New Year's Revolution got 300,000 buys? Have you seen that show???
Posted By: Kevin (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 01:53 AM
Apparently NHP would become the Music Meister.
Posted By: Homie (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 02:09 AM
Im sorry, but you know what. Fcuk the ROCK. There is no real good reason why he couldnt fly his ASS in to do a 5 min promo in ring...LIVE. He could have given the fans what they really want, one more live appearence by the brama bull. Instead the creators of his fame are not good enough, once again.....FcuK the ROCK
Posted By: Mr. X (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 02:32 AM
Randle, the Elimination Chamber has led to some of the highest drawing pay-per-views in recent memory. Do you know why New Year's Revolution got 300,000 buys? Have you seen that show???
Posted By: Kevin (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 01:53 AM
And WWE got rid of New Years Resolution because of money issues. Go figure.
Posted By: Guest#9764 (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 04:28 AM
It's strange how some posts on these forums depict Al Sharpton as a racist but the Ice Cube joke seems to be the thing most racist on here.
Al Sharpton is basically the modern MLK, and will be remembered as such after he is long gone. He protests for equal rights, sometimes it is a matter of perception as to if the situation needs his protest but most agree he is responsible for advancing black people rather than harming them. And call him racist is completely unfounded, if you look at many of his close friends they are from all walks of life and people like Chris Matthews who had 40+ years in politics has referred to him as great and a close friend. I doubt a white Irish Catholic would refer to a black racist as such and that is from a guy who knows him personally.
Posted By: Teebo (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 04:46 AM
again, the rock is the smartest wrestler ever. he successfully crossed over that he isnt even viewd as a wrestler anymore.
i always compare him and austin as the magic/bird or lemieux/gretzky of the wwe. two of the greatest ever competing at the same time. the wwe was extremely lucky. it will probably never happen again.
Posted By: rey (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 06:36 AM
I'm curious as to what makes the Ice Cube joke funny.
Posted By: Kris (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 01:52 AM
I laughed......
Posted By: sahk (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 07:03 AM
"Of course, a cynical fan might point out that the fact that fans are so starved for a good promo that they'll latch on to a short pre-taped segment featuring a guy who hasn't been a serious part of wrestling for years is a sad commentary on the current state of wrestling"
I take it that cynical fan hasn't seen any of CM Punks incredible promos on Jeff Hardy?
Posted By: Quimby (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 07:56 AM
Why are you whining about the Leafs? My Bruins traded away our top goal scorer Phil Kessel to you guys. At least you will have plenty of scoring this year when Mike Komisarek comes back.
I am not so optimistic about the B's this year.
Posted By: Polish Post (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 08:12 AM
Is it the Rock being The Rock or is it just plain o' Dwayne "one bomb away from being back in wrestling" Johnson?
I had high hopes of Obama doing his best Rock impersonation, but alas.
Posted By: demOcratic (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 08:25 AM
Kris- because Ice Cube movies are terrible and Sharpton is a racist who wants more black EVERYTHING regardless of how good or bad it is.
Posted By: Guest Guy (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 08:41 AM
It's strange how some posts on these forums depict Al Sharpton as a racist but the Ice Cube joke seems to be the thing most racist on here.
Al Sharpton is basically the modern MLK, and will be remembered as such after he is long gone. He protests for equal rights, sometimes it is a matter of perception as to if the situation needs his protest but most agree he is responsible for advancing black people rather than harming them. And call him racist is completely unfounded, if you look at many of his close friends they are from all walks of life and people like Chris Matthews who had 40+ years in politics has referred to him as great and a close friend. I doubt a white Irish Catholic would refer to a black racist as such and that is from a guy who knows him personally.
Posted By: Teebo (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 04:46 AM
Though I find Sharpton to be a total windbag, I dislike Jesse Jackson a hell of a lot more for being an anti-semite.
I'd be more offended if Jesse Jackson hosted RAW though I will not watch this one as Sharpton will always come across as human waste much like an ambulance chasing lawyer. If you think about it, Sharpton is cut from the same cloth.
Posted By: son of pillman (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 10:40 AM
BY GOD!!! Heaven forbid the name of a PPV be changed!! I mean the name of the PPV will totally have a 100% berring on the quality of the show. The WWE will surely go out of buisness within no time for changing the name of a ppv.
Posted By: Guest#1497 (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 10:47 AM
"There is no real good reason why he couldnt fly his ASS in to do a 5 min promo in ring...LIVE. He could have given the fans what they really want, one more live appearence by the brama bull. " -- Mr X.
Dude. It's Smackdown. Smackdown is taped, not live. Besides, last time he cut a live promo (at the Hall of Fame ceremony), people complained about him ragging on the current talent... maybe he's just tired of hypocritical wrestling fans.
Posted By: Peers (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 11:21 AM
Rock kind of confuses me. I have always respected his decision to leave wrestling. Hell, I was really happy for him. It's nice to see at least one wrestler end up happy and succesful and not a total joke, unlike Hogan and Flair.
But while he is done with wrestling, he suddenly seems to give back when his popularity is slipping. His recent films have done poorly, and he recieved backlash for cheating. And now he's on Smackdown, and supposedly willing to call himself "Rock" again.
He seems like a good guy in real life, but the word "phony" is starting to come to mind.
Posted By: Guest#8229 (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 11:51 AM
"Al Sharpton is basically the modern MLK,"
That has to be one of the stupidest things I have ever read, and that says a a lot considering the website. MLK lived in an era when blacks were truly second class citizens. He was eloquent, but also preached non-violence. Sharpton is a windbag who has made made a fortune out of demagoguery. He ruined one man's life - Steven Pagones - by perpetrating a fraud, and then indirectly got other people murdered by instigating a riot. Comparing that turd to MLK is an insult to the great Dr. King.
Posted By: Paul (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 12:27 PM
"Once again I find myself asking who got paid to come up with these names. Seriously, did they type "Elimination Chamber" into Microsoft Word and then check the thesaurus for the top four "close matches"?"
That's the most logical explanation - why would they make any more than the minimum effort to produce a shortlist? Obviously Vince McMahon will just pick his own name for it and go with that in the end
Posted By: diz (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 02:44 PM
Yeah, um, that MLK comparison was one of the dumbest things I've read on here, and that includes Industry, Martin Lawrence, and Ron Mexico posts.
Posted By: Foolio (Registered) on September 28, 2009 at 02:59 PM
I don't get the hatred for Rock. His recent movies haven't been bombs, they've actually helped his career in terms of increasing his star power. Get Smart cost $80 mil to make, and it made $130 mil in the U.S. alone. Witch Mountain broke $100 mil when you total the U.S. and Foreign grosses together. The dude still earns like $10 mil a movie. He has 5 movies in some form of production, and another 3 in development. He's not hurting for work. It's sad to see wrestling fans so ungrateful that they actively lie about the man's career, hoping he fails so he's forced to come crawling back to a profession he's moved on from.
The dude isn't John Cena. His movies actually make money.
Posted By: Guest#6892 (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 03:20 PM
let me remind you,
I laughed... mlk comparison?
that makes me laugh more
its 2009
ha
Posted By: sahk (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 03:33 PM
"Al Sharpton is basically the modern MLK,"
"That has to be one of the stupidest things I have ever read, and that says a a lot considering the website. MLK lived in an era when blacks were truly second class citizens. He was eloquent, but also preached non-violence. Sharpton is a windbag who has made made a fortune out of demagoguery. He ruined one man's life - Steven Pagones - by perpetrating a fraud, and then indirectly got other people murdered by instigating a riot. Comparing that turd to MLK is an insult to the great Dr. King."
Wishing I had arrived here first with this thought.
Posted By: Czarcaztic (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 04:25 PM
"Al Sharpton is basically the modern MLK,"
"That has to be one of the stupidest things I have ever read, and that says a a lot considering the website. MLK lived in an era when blacks were truly second class citizens. He was eloquent, but also preached non-violence. Sharpton is a windbag who has made made a fortune out of demagoguery. He ruined one man's life - Steven Pagones - by perpetrating a fraud, and then indirectly got other people murdered by instigating a riot. Comparing that turd to MLK is an insult to the great Dr. King."
Wishing I had arrived here first with this thought.
Posted By: Czarcaztic (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 04:27 PM
Al Sharpton is the greatest civil rights leader to ever......Have a cameo on Little Nicky..there i said it.
Posted By: malcom luther jackson (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 05:11 PM
Actually...I remember the term "smackdown" being used on Beavis & Butthead well before the Rock started using it.
Posted By: MydniteSon (Guest) on September 28, 2009 at 11:40 PM
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Finally…The Rock Has Come Back To Pretaped Promos!
Flushing Money Down The Elimination Chamber
President Obama Doesn't Care About Wrestling Fans
If You're Going To Go Down, Go Down Fighting
Hogan!
