411’s Instant Access 10.06.09: WWE Hell in a Cell 2009

Posted by Scott Slimmer on 10.04.2009

Raw’s top talent shines while Smackdown’s top talent falters. It’s like a WWE pay-per-view in Bizarro World…

Hey kids, I'm Scott, and this is 411's Instant Access: WWE Hell in a Cell 2009. 411's Instant Access is the companion piece to 411 Live Pay-Per-View Coverage and features immediate reaction to wrestling pay-per-views. The focus in Instant Access is on first thoughts and initial reactions instead of play-by-play with the goal of providing you with instant access to one two THREE writers' thoughts on the show. That's right, Instant Access will now feature multiple analysts for all WWE pay-per-views. Here's the team for Hell in a Cell:

• Scott Slimmer, author of Don't Think Twice. Tonight, Slimmer is enjoying a Pumpkin Pie Blizzard Treat from Dairy Queen.
• Chris Lansdell, author of A Brace for Impact and If I Could Be Serious For A Moment. Lansdell likes candlelit dinners and long walks on the beach.
• Jeremy Thomas, editor of 411's Wrestler of the Week and author of The Hush-Hush Movie News Report. Thomas still maintains that Bruce Hart was the most naturally gifted performer of the family.


Okay kids, enough with the explanations. Let's get to the wrestling.

Hell in a Cell Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
CM Punk (Champion) vs. The Undertaker
Match Result: The Undertaker defeats CM Punk with the Tombstone Piledriver.
Match Length: 10:24
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: This was certainly an unexpected match to start the show, but it may actually make sense given the recent rumors about the Undertaker's limited mobility. The match itself felt like a good Hell in a Cell match in fast forward. It had the form and the flow of a Hell in a Cell match, but each section of the match only half as long as it would have under normal circumstances. There was certainly nothing wrong with this match, but the problem was that there wasn't much match. But here's the real question. If the Undertaker really did have a total hip replacement earlier this year, if the Undertaker only has a fraction of his former mobility and agility, if the Undertaker can only work eight to ten minute matches at this stage in his career, if the Undertaker's days really are numbered, then why in the blue hell would you put your World Heavyweight Championship on him?
Lansdell: I understand the logic of not putting 3 HIAC matches together at the end of the card, but I don't know why DX-Legacy couldn't open, Didn't really matter though. These two had a decent match, in my mind better than at Breaking Point, and although Punk lost convincingly he didn't look as bad as most of Taker's victims have looked. I do wonder who the hell gets Taker next, since there are NO main-event heels on SD right now except Punk. Fun little encounter, you have to ask yourself how much better it would be if Taker was 100%.
Thomas: Well, first off the surprise of Taker/Punk going on first threw me. This did not bode well for the match, which failed to deliver what I was hoping and ended in what was essentially an extended flattening of Punk. The match wasn't all that great; Taker tried and Punk worked his best, but the limitations were too much and working under the PG Rating didn't help this match, which was a very underwhelming Hell in a Cell.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***
Lansdell: **¾
Thomas: **½
Average Match Rating: **¾

Intercontinental Championship Match
John Morrison (Champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Match Result: John Morrison defeats Dolph Ziggler with Starship Pain.
Match Length: 15:41
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: It seems as though this match may have started a bit slow, but that may be due to the fact that we so rarely see actual mat-based chain wrestling in the WWE these days. Morrison and Ziggler worked quite well together, and the last five minutes of the match showcased just why these two guys have the right to call themselves the future of this company. I'd be more than happy to see this feud continue. I think these guys have an even better match in them, and maybe more importantly, Ziggler does eventually need to get a win. Over somebody. Anybody. Hopefully for some sort of title. Because you can only push a guy for so long before eventually you have to, you know, actually let him win a big match.
Lansdell: Despite a slow start that almost killed the crowd after the pop for Taker's title win, these two found a half-dozen other gears and put on probably the best match of the night. Ziggler again looked like the real deal in terms of performance, and his gimmick of a choke artist is now in full swing. He has to have another match against Morrison, if for no other reason than they worked really well together. Plus, there's nobody but Drew McIntyre who's really in contention, and it's too soon for him. More of this please.
Thomas: These two guys work really well, and fifteen minutes did them some serious good as they went out there and busted their ass to deliver in the ring. I enjoyed the hell out of this match and liked what I saw from both of them; it made me feel okay with the fact that they waited a month on this match so as to let Dolph and Morrison become more comfortable with each other in the ring. My only problem here is that with his continued yet failed attempts to win the IC belt, he's quickly becoming a choke artist. They need to pull the trigger on him soon or his window for rising up the card will pass.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***½
Lansdell: ***½
Thomas: ***¼
Average Match Rating: ***½

Divas Championship Match
Mickie James (Champion) vs. Alicia Fox
Match Result: Mickie James defeats Alicia Fox with the Mickie-DT.
Match Length: 5:20
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Mickie James and Alicia Fox have earned tonight's Great Khali Memorial Award for putting on a far better match than they had any right to. The Raw Divas division has been alarmingly sloppy as of later, but this match was about as clean as you could realistically expect. Until, of course, Mickie damn near broke Alicia's leg… with a DDT. Anyway, Alicia Fox was never a credible title contender, so I'm glad to see Mickie defeat her and hopefully move on to a new challenger. And while Beth Phoenix is a perennial title contender who could certainly have a few decent matches with Mickie, I'm still hoping that WWE will eventually give Jillian Hall the serious push that she's deserved for years.
Lansdell: I was expecting crap, I got vanilla wafers. It was fine but nothing you'd actively seek out to watch. Alicia was OK, she almost killed herself on the DDT she took for the finish but she looked decently effective on offence and didn't make any major mistakes. I would not be averse to seeing more of her, which is more than I can say for some of the women wrestlers in WWE.
Thomas: This had several issues to it, but that's not entirely surprising. Alicia is still getting her work rate up to speed. However, this was much better than it could have been and both girls did try hard. Alicia had a few nice work rate moments including the bridge suplex, and they worked through most of their five minutes better than I hoped for. The DDT finish spot was brutal and I can't figure out how that happened, but otherwise this was as good as we could have hoped.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **
Lansdell: **
Thomas: **
Average Match Rating: **

Unified Tag Team Championship Match
Chris Jericho & The Big Show (Champions) vs. Batista & Rey Mysterio
Match Result: The Big Show defeats Rey Mysterio with the Knockout Punch.
Match Length: 13:43
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: This was a fairly good match, thanks in large part to the return of Rey Mysterio. As we learned earlier this year, you know you're in store for something special any time Rey Mysterio and Chris Jericho get in the right with each other. But I seem to have forgotten just how much chemistry Rey Mysterio and the Big Show have with each other, because it was their time together in the ring that was the highlight of the match for me. Don't get me wrong, Batista certainly played his role well, but it was Mysterio that really shined here. In addition, I have to believe that Batista & Mysterio are the most high profile challengers that Jericho & Show have defeated thus far, and so you really need to begin to who could ever take the belts off these guys. I mean, it's the Big Show! How do you stop the Big Show? Seriously how do you stop Show? You'd have to be, like, a Show stopper or something. A Show stopper! Oh, dude, wait a minute…
Lansdell: A match containing 3 people for whom I do not care under most circumstances was never going to reach the upper echelons of entertainment for me, still, I thought everyone involved played their parts and the finish worked well for me. The problem now? Who do you get to take the belts of Jeri show? They seem unbeatable, and the monster/speed combos have been mostly used up.
Thomas: This was a really fun match where everyone had their timing going strong and the booking was solid. The stretch toward the end that had everyone hitting move after move was well done, and the pace was built up very nicely to that point. We had some fun continuity moments like Jericho trying to get Rey Rye's mask off, too. The finish booking was solid as Show and Jericho went over cleanly but Rey and the Minimal looked strong. I don't think anyone was surprised with Rey taking the loss considering and this just really worked for me.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***
Lansdell: **½
Thomas: ***¾
Average Match Rating: ***

Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE Championship
John Cena (Champion) vs. Randy Orton
Match Result: Randy Orton defeats John Cena with the Skull Punt.
Match Length: 21:26
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: Now this was a more proper Hell in a Cell Match. Cena played the Superman Cena roll as he usually does, only this time the crowd spent most of the match booing him because of it. That left Orton to be the real star of the match, and once again he shined in his roll as the psychotic heel of doom. The look on his face as he fish hooked Cena after tying him up in the ropes was absolutely priceless. There's very little I would have changed about this match, but it would have been nice if Orton's Skull Punk – which ended the match – actually would have made contact with Cena's head. I mean, seriously John, if Vince McMahon can take the Skull Punt like a man, then you can too. But the big question now is where Orton goes from here. Is it finally time to take a break from Orton and Cena's endless feud? And if so, who is next in line to face Orton? Batista would have been an obvious choice, but he jumped ship a few weeks ago. I don't think it's time to break up DX, and it's hard for me to imagine what you would do with the odd man out if one member of the team was challenging for the WWE Championship. And without Batista, Triple H, or Shawn Michaels, who else but Cena is left to challenge Orton for the title? That's not a rhetorical question – I just don't know what the hell the answer might be.
Lansdell: I loved this match, I thought everything about the performances of both men were perfect insofar as their expressions and actions throughout the match perfectly reflected each man's character. Orton showed ruthless brutality and basically bore out every characteristic I discussed in Thursday's column, while Cena played the FOIL DOWN TO A TEE. I do worry that we have to see this match AGAIN but if the quality keeps improving, we could get some stellar matches.
Thomas: This was MUCH better than their Breaking Point match. It started off slow but built up nicely, and the extended sequence in the middle was very nicely done. These two used the cell the way it needed to be used and while we didn't get any blood or top of the cage style antics, we had a definite sense of brutality to the match. Orton gave us the best rope break ever out of the STFU when he crawled out of the ring and used the ropes as a barrier to physically force the break. Sure there was a ref bump and the punt was weak as hell, but it was inconsequential overall and this was a really good match.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***¾
Lansdell: ***¾
Thomas: ***¾
Average Match Rating: ***¾

R-Truth vs. Drew McIntyre
Match Result: Drew McIntyre defeats R-Truth with a double underhook DDT.
Match Length: 4:30
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: This wasn't much of a match, but given the fact that it's only real purpose was to put over Drew McIntyre, I suppose that's fine. I have high hopes for McIntyre, but I long ago gave up on R-Truth being able to tell a compelling, cohesive story in the ring. I'm really just waiting for McIntyre to get a shot at someone like Morrison or Ziggler, so I'm happy to see him put away R-Truth as quickly as possible.
Lansdell: I don't get why this match was added to the card, and I don't think the crowd did either. They crapped all over it from the start And although the match wasn't great, it was good nonetheless. The work was decent and they seemed to have some chemistry, so we might as well hope for more soon.
Thomas: Nice and short here, and it did what it needed to do which is put McIntyre over. It was a clean pin and the in-ring work was solid, if not fantastic. It's certainly a good start for the kid on this second run in the 'E. Obviously this was the cool-off match after Orton/Cena and amounted to little more than a typical SmackDown match given PPV time, but it worked for what it needed to be.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **
Lansdell: **½
Thomas: **¼
Average Match Rating: **¼

Triple Threat Match for the United States Championship Match
Kofi Kingston (Champion) vs. The Miz vs. Jack Swagger
Match Result: Kofi Kingston defeats the Miz after Jack Swagger hits Miz with the gutwrench powerbomb.
Match Length: 7:50
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I suppose there was nothing actively wrong with this match, but just don't think that any of these three guys are at the stage in their career where they're ready to put on a great triple threat match. They can all put on good-to-great singles matches (I LOVED the Kofi / Miz match from Breaking Point), but they seemed a bit lost in the triple threat format. But I applaud WWE for giving younger talent the chance to shine on pay-per-view, and I look forward to seeing more of these guys under more favorable conditions. Kofi's ongoing ability to find a way to win has gone a long way towards building him into a credible champion. Given that we've now seen Kofi pin the Miz on two consecutive pay-per-views, I would wager that Swagger may become Kofi's main contender sooner rather than later. And with his history as an ECW Champion, Swagger could easily be the man to finally take the belt away from Kingston.
Lansdell: Again, I enjoyed this. Both Kofi and Miz brought their working boots, and Swagger was hardly a slouch. Once again though I question the decision to have Kofi win. If you want to move someone to the main event scene, since he'd be the logical one to take to the next level. They gave me some fun though.
Thomas: This was a decent three-way match. The three guys worked hard and kept the match going nicely with a good flow. I'm honestly sort of surprised they had Kofi retain as I figured he's had the belt long enough and it was time for a change, but I have no problem with it either. I imagine they move onto a singles Swagger/Kofi feud since he didn't take the pinfall and Miz moves on to feud with MVP or someone like that.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: **¾
Lansdell: ***
Thomas: ***
Average Match Rating: ***

Tag Team Hell in a Cell Match
D-Generation X vs. Legacy
Match Result: Shawn Michaels defeats Cody Rhodes with a sledgehammer assisted Sweet Chin Music.
Match Length: 24:19 (6:20 of which occurred before the match officially started)
Match Analysis:
Slimmer: I never would have expected this match to main event the show, but given the way that the three Hell in a Cell matches were booked, this was definitely the right choice. Having Legacy ambush DX before the match was a brilliant way to get the action out of the cell and really make this match feel different than the evening's previous two Hell in a Cell matches. Sure, Legacy may have lost the match in the end, but they had outsmarted DX at every turn until Triple H found that pesky pair of bolt cutters. And when you step back and look at trilogy of matches between DX and Legacy, I have to believe that DX has done wonders for Legacy's career even though DX did win two of the three matches. Many feared that Legacy would become nothing more than Spirit Squad 2K9, but nothing could be farther from the truth. But where do these two teams go from here? I could easily see Legacy once again attacking DX tomorrow night to continue the feud, but with Bragging Rights looming on the horizon, I wonder if this feud might take a brief hiatus so that DX can focus on a team from the Blue Brand.
Lansdell: Yeah, the result of this one wasn't hard to predict, but Legacy looked as good in defeat as they would have done with a loss. The match told a story and told it well, and Legacy looked great by planning out before the match how they could win. It was even a good match for what it was! I'll be interested to see where Legacy go next. And no, nobody got buried. Legacy almost destroyed HBK, and even beat down HHH on the ramp. They weren't dominated, they just lost. Quality stuff.
Thomas: People are gonna gripe about how this match buried Rhodes and DiBiase. Those people are nuts. The psychology on Priceless' part was awesome, and locking 'H in the ring to beat on Shawn was good thinking. Yes, Shawn lasted in there forever, but it wasn't like he kept coming back again and again. Plus, it let the two look very strong for a good portion of the match, yet let Hunter be fully rested so when he got in and ran rampant, it wasn't a Cena-style, no-selling comeback. Frankly, I think this match was an excellent way to end the show and even though Priceless lost, I think they came out of this match looking pretty good and far from buried.
Match Rating:
Slimmer: ***¾
Lansdell: ***¾
Thomas: ****
Average Match Rating: ***¾


Final Thoughts

Match of the Night:
Slimmer: D-Generation X vs. Legacy (***¾)
The booking of this match really made it feel different that the other two Hell in a Cell matches on the card, and no one can sell a dramatic beating as well as the Heart Break Kid. The ending may have been predictable, but I never would have guessed what a bizarre path they would have taken to get there.
Lansdell: D-Generation X vs. Legacy (***¾)
Good old-fashioned storytelling with your match, and some passing of the torch even if DX did win. Did everything it needed to do except mow my lawn.
Thomas: D-Generation X vs. Legacy (****)
Exceptionally booked and had the arena hot for the whole of it. I really liked the story of the match and it sent the crowd home happy without burying anyone or doing some goofy run-in finish. That's an all-around winner in my book.

Trash of the Night:
Slimmer: R-Truth vs. Drew McIntyre (**)
This is a textbook example of a television match that was hastily crammed into a pay-per-view for no good reason. The show as a whole would have flowed much more smoothly without this match and the Divas Championship match, but Mickie and Alicia saved themselves from Trash of the Night honors by far exceeding my expectations for their match.
Lansdell: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Really? We're going to leave ECW off the card because we didn't have time to give them a quality match, but we can spend time on this shit?
Thomas: CM Punk vs. The Undertaker (**½)
Not the worst match of the show, but by far the most disappointing. I expected far more from these two and I have to wonder if the shortness of this match has to do with Taker's rumored injuries...and if so, I wonder why they put the belt on him. Major all-around disappointment.

Final Analysis:
Slimmer: The main question going into this show was whether the Hell in a Cell gimmick would be ruined by booking three cell matches on the same card. Fortunately, all three matches were booked in such a way as to make each seem distinct from the others. So it that respect, the concept of the Hell in a Cell pay-per-view was actually a success. However, this particular show suffered from other problems that seriously hindered its overall quality. Specifically, booking eight matches on a three hour show is way too much, especially when three of those matches are Hell in a Cell Matches. Even with the Divas Championship match and the R-Truth / Drew McIntyre matches being kept relatively short, there simply wasn't enough time for any of the three Hell in a Cell matches to go from good to great. I understand that the Punk / Undertaker match may have needed to be kept short due to Undertaker's constraints, but I would have liked to have seen both Orton / Cena and DX / Legacy go about half an hour each. As it stands, this show was passable but just not very memorable, and that's not at all what you want out of a show with three Hell in a Cell matches.
Lansdell: They had a tough assignment ahead of them to make 3 matches of the same brutal gimmick work AND feel different from each other, but I think they managed it. I was surprised to see both major titles change hands, but that's not a bad thing. Surprises are good. Everything worked on some level, and although the match quality wasn't what I was expecting, they did plenty with this PPV.
Thomas: This was a much better show than Breaking Point overall. We didn't have the controversial finish to drive the point home and all the endings were more or less predictable, but the path to getting there was well-done for the most part, even great in some points. I appreciated that they did three Hell in a Cell matches and managed to make them all feel very different, with Punk/Taker being more of a standard match, Cena/Orton showing off the brutality and DX/Priceless being the wild, crazy outside the ring match with lots of drama. Only one match was worse than I was expecting and that's to be commended. I'm still not sold on the Hell in a Cell as a theme Pay-Per-View, but I did enjoy this.

Verdict:
Slimmer: ***¼
Lansdell: ***¼
Thomas: ***¾
Average Verdict: ***½