The Wrestling News Experience: 10.05.09
Posted by Stephen Randle on 10.05.2009
In this Experience, we have exclusive Hell in a Cell results and reactions, plus a preview for tonight's Roethlisberger is Raw! Also, Matt Hardy works the Internet for the wrong reasons, Flair loses his shirt and maybe his belt, Lex Luger puts a legend to rest, and the potential for a Bret Hart return makes this Canadian very, very...cautious?
Monday, September 28th, 2009
From 411Mania's Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!
Live on Omicron Persei 8!
Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I'm Stephen Randle, and I'm so full of varying cold remedies that you're lucky I'm not babbling about pink elephants and the secrets they tell. Oh, and the secrets they tell are absolutely fantabulous, let me say. They're effervescent, even.
The Undertaker defeated CM Punk in a Hell in a Cell match to win the World Heavyweight Championship (pinfall, Tombstone)
So…um…that was short, and a perfect example of why you shouldn't handcuff yourself by declaring that all main event matches have to match the gimmick of the show, because now the Hell in the Cell match, formerly the place where feuds go to die in twenty-to-thirty minute blowoffs, is now a place for nine-minute television matches. Seriously, if Undertaker is that badly injured that he can't go more than ten minutes, maybe putting the title belt on him isn't the best idea.
And speaking of bad ideas, how about building up a new hot heel wrestler, then having him lose the World title every other month over the summer so it looks like he totally has no ability to beat anyone on his own? I dunno, doesn't seem like the best plan in the world.
John Morrison defeated Dolph Ziggler to retain the WWE Intercontinental Championship (pinfall, Starship Pain)
Sounds like the match started slow but ended well, and I guess that's one good thing of the short first match, because I bet the time went to this one, and these are the guys who should be getting chances to showcase themselves. Ziggler losing is a minor gripe because he's come up short three straight times now, but this time was against a totally different wrestler, plus it means Morrison retains, and he's honestly the one who should be getting the bigger push anyway.
Mickie James defeated Alicia Fox to retain the WWE Divas Championship (pinfall, DDT)
Chris Jericho and The Big Show defeated Rey Mysterio and Batista to retain the WWE Unified Tag Team Championship (Show pinned Rey, KO Punch)
Pretty easy finish to predict. I wouldn't mind this continuing, except it might be a good idea to give Hart Dynasty or Cryme Tyme a shot so that they can finally end their "Best of 7,254" series.
Randy Orton defeated John Cena in a Hell in a Cell match to win the WWE Championship (pinfall, punt to head)
I had an inkling this was coming. This is pretty much stating the obvious, but if you stopped giving the exact same people title shots for months and months and months on end, then you stop writing yourself into the corner of "well, they've had so many shots and lost, we have to let them win one so they maintain credibility, and then switch the belt back to the guy we actually want holding it as soon as possible". But hey, I'm just thinking out loud here.
I completely agree with putting this on PPV, again, because it showcases the midcard in a way that you just can't on TV, and shows that they can (or can't) actually wrestle a longer match. Plus, it makes McIntyre into something special because hey, his "first" match is on PPV (Yes, yes, I know. Pretend with me).
Kofi Kingston defeated The Miz and Jack Swagger in a Triple Threat Match to retain the WWE United States Championship (Kingston pinned Miz, Trouble in Paradise)
See? Kofi excels at multi-man matches! And why would you start announcing him from Ghana? Hell, Santino's Canadian, are you going to start saying he's from Toronto now?
D-X defeated The Legacy in a Hell in a Cell match
Similar story to the Submissions match last month, with Legacy isolating Shawn (and in what world is Shawn Michaels, one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, the weaker link in a team?). The seeds actually do seem to be there for a great story where Shawn abandons Triple H because he brought Shawn back just to get his ass kicked on HHH's behalf for months, but I don't know if they'll actually pull the trigger.
Both World title matches were in the first half of the show? What's THAT all about?
Well, to me, that sounds like forty dollars well saved, but let's check with the cat. Buddy?
Buddy Doesn't Know How This Happened. Seriously, He's A Male Cat.
Say hello to Buddy's new little brother Oreo. Go ahead, say "Awwww." It's okay, it won't make you any less of a wrestling fan.
Tonight's Host: His First Act as GM: Raw Bowl II
Last night, Randy Orton left Hell in a Cell with the WWE Championship once more in his grasp. With Cena apparently vanquished once more, where will the Viper's eyes turn? And what will become of his Legacy associates, who were defeated by D-X at the PPV, but did manage to dish out quite a large amount of punishment to Shawn Michaels in the process. Speaking of the Heartbreak Kid, how will he be feeling after once again being required to suffer most of the punishment in his partnership with Triple H? Is everything okay between two friends who have also proved in the past that they can be bitter enemies?
Plus, Kofi Kingston once again escaped from a multi-opponent match with his United States Championship in tow, and the only question remaining is, who among his plethora of potential opponents has the magic strategy to wrest away the Jamaican Ghana-ian Sensation's title?
And Mickie James scored a dominating victory over Alicia Fox at Hell in a Cell last night, and will surely be seeking a new challenger to her Divas title. All this, and what is going on between Chavo Guerrero and Hornswoggle, tonight on Raw!
Matt Hardy, Version Whine.0
From Matt Hardy's Twitter, earlier this week.
"I am exhausted from being punished because of someone else's sins. Good night one, good night all! Until then.."
From Matt Hardy's Myspace blog, later the same week.
"Ha, ha! I worked the Internets! You reported stuff that I posted that wasn't even true on my own personal Twitter account that the entire Internet can see and has no reason to believe would be lies! I mean, come on, what kind of person would waste time using Twitter to post cryptic statements that are actually false just to see if people who love wrestling would see them and discuss what they could mean? Me, that's who! I am teh awesome!"*
*- may be paraphrased.
I mean, for a guy who has a completely loyal Internet fanbase that, to some small degree even helped get him re-hired a few years back, why would you spend time jerking them around? To prove that Internet reporting isn't completely accurate? I think we got that memo long ago. I mean, part of that is the industry's fault, since they don't want us to actually know anything that might be true, which makes accurate reporting a little difficult. But yeah, wrestling news sites don't exactly have the fact-checkers at the New York Times working for them. Go, Matt. You exposed us all. Hey, it's not like anyone on this very site predicted that your relationship with Lita would nearly ruin your personal and professional life or anything. We're just idiots and most days we're lucky if we can all find our way to the site in the morning. That's fine, I'm sure you have enough fans that you can start alienating some of them. Look, you even got to beat Mike Knox in a dark match last night! Your career is definitely hitting its peak!
To Be The Man, You Have To…Wait Until He Goes Broke
In the continuing story of Ric Flair's very public financial issues, it seems that Highspots is planning to sell one of Flair's most prized possessions, his NWA Heavyweight title belt, which Flair used as collateral for a loan. Apparently Flair believes he paid back that loan by doing appearances for the company, but Highspots would beg to differ, and since they have the belt and are planning to sell it in an auction, I guess they have the upper hand. Flair is said to be aware of the situation, and has contacted Highspots about it, so there may still be a chance that he can regain this unique piece of wrestling history for his own, but collectors with a lot of money to burn should probably keep their eyes open just in case.
Frankly, I would have thought that the whole "mailing the belt to Vince after being fired by WCW" story from back in 1991 would have been the weirdest tale to involve Flair and the NWA title, but there you go.
Death of an Urban Legend
Fifteen years after it became a commonly accepted "fact" that he bragged about his upcoming victory at a bar the night before the PPV and had his win taken away as a result, Lex Luger delivered a bombshell on a radio interview this past weekend, as he revealed that he was aware that he would not be winning the WWE title at WrestleMania X many months before the event. This shocking revelation flies in the face of everything that the Internet wrestling community is based upon, and as a result, all IWC-related sites will now cease to exist.
Just kidding. But if that isn't true, how many other IWC "facts" that have stood up over the years aren't correct? Maybe there really were nine Marines in Syracuse.
I Thought We Were Done With This
Yes, the Bret Hart rumours are back in style, as the Excellence of Execution has actually publically mentioned that a short WWE return in an non-wrestling role would no longer be entirely out of the question. With potential openings as a guest host of Raw, a new GM for any brand, or even as a management figure for the Hart Dynasty, the Internet was quickly abuzz with the possibilities. And as much as I would love to see Hart on my television screen again, I would only want him to do what made him happy, as he finally seemed to reach closure with many of his issues during the release of his career retrospective DVD and Hall of Fame induction, and I would hate for him to re-enter an industry that hasn't exactly treated him well for quite a long time. Although if Hart returning and making peace with everything for good would mean the end of the god-awful stupid Montreal finish, I'd probably be one of the happiest wrestling fans in the world.
A man can dream, can't he?
Your Weekly PSA: Public Samoan Announcement
Inactive List as of 09.28.09
WWE Raw
- Maryse, out indefinitely as of July 28th (knee surgery)
- Kelly Kelly, day-to-day as of September 11th (knee)
WWE SmackDown
- Edge, out indefinitely as of July 4th (torn Achilles tendon)
- Rey Mysterio, out 30 days as of September 3rd (Wellness violation)
- The Great Khali, out indefinitely as of September 15th (knee surgery)
ECW
- No reported injuries
TNA
- Jeff Jarrett, out indefinitely as of July 21st (self-imposed suspension)
Transactions
- Eric Escobar, SD!, made WWE debut on October 2nd Smackdown
- Lacey Von Erich, TNA, made TNA debut on October 1st Impact
- Rhaka Khan, TNA, likely will not return to the promotion
- Rey Mysterio, SD!, returned to action at Hell in a Cell PPV
- Tiffany, ECW, out indefinitely as of September 29th (humerus)
- Vicki Guerrero, SD!, returned to action on October 2nd Smackdown
WWE
**NEW** WWE Champion: Randy Orton
- 1 day reign, defeated John Cena in a Hell in a Cell Match on October 4th (Hell in a Cell PPV)
**NEW** World Heavyweight Champion: The Undertaker
- 1 day reign, defeated CM Punk in a Hell in a Cell Match on October 4th (Hell in a Cell PPV)
ECW Champion: Christian
- 71 day reign, defeated Tommy Dreamer on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: John Morrison
- 31 day reign, defeated Rey Mysterio on September 4th (Smackdown)
WWE United States Champion: Kofi Kingston
- 127 day reign, defeated MVP on June 1st Raw
WWE Undisputed Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and The Big Show
- 71 day reign (as team of Chris Jericho and Big Show), The Big Show named as replacement for former champion Edge on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
- 38 day reign (as team of Chris Jericho and Edge), defeated former champions The Colons and Legacy in a Triple Threat Match on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
WWE Women's Champion: Michelle McCool
- 99 day reign, defeated Melina on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
WWE Diva's Champion: Mickie James
- 71 day reign, defeated Maryse on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
TNA
TNA Heavyweight Champion: AJ Styles
- 15 day reign, defeated former champion Kurt Angle, Matt Morgan, Hernandez, and Sting in a Five-Way Match on September 20th (No Surrender PPV)
- Next title defense: vs Sting, Bound For Glory PPV
TNA Tag Team Champions: Scott Steiner and Booker T
- 78 day reign, defeated Beer Money, Inc. on July 19th (Victory Road PPV)
TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe
- 50 day reign, defeated Homicide on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)
TNA Knockouts Champion: ODB
- 50 day reign, defeated former champion Angelina Love and Velvet Sky in a tag match on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Taylor Wilde and Sarita
- 15 day reign, defeated The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) to win the newly created title on September 20th (No Surrender PPV)
TNA Legends Champion: Kevin Nash
- 50 day reign, defeated Mick Foley on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)
Harrison (who, apparently is not dead), and James have the weekend news reports.
411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT.
Remember, if you love poker, and are in the Kitchener-Cambridge-Waterloo area, check out Player's Poker League.
And for the drunken ramblings of Sean Carless and his merry band of reprobates, check out The Wrestling Fan.
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That's our show, Small is in tomorrow, I'll be back next week.
Have a good one, and always be a fan.
"It was the only way to make him happy."
"Why did you have to make him happy?"
"Because when he wasn't happy, we wanted to kill him. There was even a plan!"
I normally defend Matt all over this site, but that Twitter thing was kind of a dick move. He's not doing himself any favors with the internet crowd, that's for sure.
Posted By: SeanAltly (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 01:41 AM
"And speaking of bad ideas, how about building up a new hot heel wrestler, then having him lose the World title every other month over the summer so it looks like he totally has no ability to beat anyone on his own? I dunno, doesn't seem like the best plan in the world."
Thank you. This is a perfect explannation of why this is a bad idea. Whether you like Punk or not, he is a much better choice for the title right now than the 9 Minute Man. The sand bagging of all his reigns is just evidence that WWE is booking with absolutely no plan or attention span.
Posted By: Lance O' Leary (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 01:44 AM
Well said about Matt Hardy. He's a moron who is far from as smart as he seems to think he is.
Posted By: Guest#5933 (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 01:48 AM
"And speaking of bad ideas, how about building up a new hot heel wrestler, then having him lose the World title every other month over the summer so it looks like he totally has no ability to beat anyone on his own? I dunno, doesn't seem like the best plan in the world."
Worked for Edge.
Posted By: Flyboy (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 01:57 AM
During HHH's first main event run he won and lost the title a few times (he lost it to Vince!) so I don't think it's the end of the world for Punk.
Posted By: Jibba Jabba (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 02:08 AM
"...except it might be a good idea to give Hart Dynasty or Cryme Tyme a shot so that they can finally end their "Best of 7,254" series."
Except, that would mean both teams would win 3627. Hardly a telling split.
Posted By: math nerd (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 02:29 AM
Sadly, I don't think Matt Hardy worked the media at all. I think he made the Twitter post- clearly a reference to how his brother's problems have effected his career, b/c they have, b/c he hasn't been seen in a significant TV role since- when he was drunk and pissed off. Then, realizing he made a bitchy mistake, he tried to cover it up w/ a ridiculous explanation on Myspace. Your not fooling anyone Matt. Get back to wrestling good matches like you were a year ago this time.
Posted By: Scarry Larry (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 06:04 AM
Punk is a heel. And to be a main-event heel in WWE, you have to adhere to the old-school booking of 'chicken-shit bad guy' who everyone wants to pay to see get their ass whooped. There is no diversion from the script, no grey areas or blurred lines; you win by dastardly means, you lose like a bitchy little chumpinstein.
The problem is, Orton was hot when he was portraying an uber-badass; it wasn't that fans wished to witness him get his ass beat, there simply was a ton of respect for the guy's heel character. Unfortunately creative remembered the strict rules towards world-title heels, and have since booked him as a guy who is lightyears from badass, and a ball-hair away from a bitch. Punk started off as the cool guy you loved to hate, but the WWE look to be going down the same road with him, which is sad considering how sparse the main-event talent - and characters - really is.
Posted By: Chungles (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 08:19 AM
Agree 100% on Taker. All the UT marks will come out saying "he gets people over as legit threats even when he wins, blablahblah.."
The bottom line...Punk spent the summer getting over as the best new heel in years, had great matches, worked his tail off winning over new fans. In the end, the WWE puts the belt on a heat-killing, squashing, gimmick man that does not need the belt any more (if ever).
Winning via screw-job 8.1 and losing in a cell in less than ten minutes does not get you over. Meanwhile, all you IWC kids that hate on Hunter should realize that he has actually been making legacy look legit.
Undertaker needs to go.
Posted By: Guest#8720 (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 09:49 AM
"And speaking of bad ideas, how about building up a new hot heel wrestler, then having him lose the World title every other month over the summer so it looks like he totally has no ability to beat anyone on his own? I dunno, doesn't seem like the best plan in the world."
Thank you. This is a perfect explannation of why this is a bad idea. Whether you like Punk or not, he is a much better choice for the title right now than the 9 Minute Man. The sand bagging of all his reigns is just evidence that WWE is booking with absolutely no plan or attention span.
Posted By: Lance O' Leary (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 01:44 AM
Get over it! WWE isn't geared towards 30 year old basement know it alls. It's PG for kids like me and I don't want a loser and mean guy like punk being my world champ. Undertaker rules!!!! I'm going out to buy HIS championship belt right now!
Posted By: Guest#4120 (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 10:16 AM
lol at all the internet smarks who were pwn't by Matt Hardy. OH and SeanAltly Matt doesnt need to do shit for the ungrateful internet crowd. The WWE doesnt give a shit about what the internet crowd thinks, and they dont have to
Posted By: Guest#3166 (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 11:24 AM
"And speaking of bad ideas, how about building up a new hot heel wrestler, then having him lose the World title every other month over the summer so it looks like he totally has no ability to beat anyone on his own? I dunno, doesn't seem like the best plan in the world."
Thank you. This is a perfect explannation of why this is a bad idea. Whether you like Punk or not, he is a much better choice for the title right now than the 9 Minute Man. The sand bagging of all his reigns is just evidence that WWE is booking with absolutely no plan or attention span.
Posted By: Lance O' Leary (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 01:44 AM
Get over it! WWE isn't geared towards 30 year old basement know it alls. It's PG for kids like me and I don't want a loser and mean guy like punk being my world champ. Undertaker rules!!!! I'm going out to buy HIS championship belt right now!
Posted By: Guest#4120 (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 10:16 AM
See, even if he didn't say so, you could tell it was a kid posting due to every sentence ending with 2-3 exclamation points.
Posted By: !!!!! (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 11:27 AM
Please donate to the Red Cross..or I'll fucking KILL YOU!!!
Posted By: Samoa Joe (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 12:17 PM
Get over it! WWE isn't geared towards 30 year old basement know it alls. It's PG for kids like me and I don't want a loser and mean guy like punk being my world champ. Undertaker rules!!!! I'm going out to buy HIS championship belt right now!
Posted By: Guest#4120 (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 10:16 AM
See, even if he didn't say so, you could tell it was a kid posting due to every sentence ending with 2-3 exclamation points.
Posted By: !!!!! (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 11:27 AM
Who cares how old he is? He's right. Like it or not, WWE IS aimed at a PG audience now. Besides, Punk is going to win the title back at the next PPV, if not before then, so quit you whining.
Posted By: Scarry Larry (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 12:50 PM
I just really hated the way that Legacy match ended last night...I mean, Michaels just got his knee bashed like a million times, on top of the knee bashing he got last month at breaking point, anfd all of a sudden he's throwing superkicks left and right? I thought Legacy looked like some smart badasses for isolating HBK and leaving HHH laid out on the ramp, but towards the end of the match they looked like two dipshits that just pretty much got buried, we all love to complain about SuperCena, well we saw Super DX last night...at least HHH isn't hogging all the main event title matches tho, so it's good, but that ending just made Legacy look equally horrible to nearly cancel out how awesome they looked last month, all of that beating they put down, only for DX to no sell it at the end, it bothers me
Posted By: nic (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 01:11 PM
"But if that isn't true, how many other IWC "facts" that have stood up over the years aren't correct? Maybe there really were nine Marines in Syracuse."
Here's a starting list:
-There were legitimately 93,173 in attendance at WrestleMania III
-Sid did not shit his pants at WrestleMania XIII
-Randy Savage never had any sort of relationship with Stephanie McMahon, sexual or otherwise
-Lita doesn't spread her legs for everything with a pulse
-Vince McMahon likes Christian
-Randy Culley was not replaced by Barry Darsow in Demolition because the crowd recognized him as Moondog Rex; Darsow was simply the better option for the team
Posted By: Brad B (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 02:01 PM
"...except it might be a good idea to give Hart Dynasty or Cryme Tyme a shot so that they can finally end their "Best of 7,254" series."
Except, that would mean both teams would win 3627. Hardly a telling split.
Posted By: math nerd (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 02:29 AM
Who the Fuck does this? Wow... tag team wrestling is dead and you are doing the math.
Fucking fuckity of fucks... I'd give anything for a Midnight Express vs. Rock n Roll Express type feud complete with a heel manager and a tennis racket.
Dayum.
Posted By: Guest#7578 (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 03:06 PM
@Guest3166
Maybe you missed the part where I said I usually defend him, so I'm a fan. And frankly, Matt does owe the internet crowd because they were a large factor in getting him his job back. This is an undeniable truth. The story of Matt's firing was NOT reported or mentioned on TV, only the internet. Then, the crowds start chanting "You screwed Matt," proving they'd been online and thus were part of the "internet crowd," the WWE was forced to acknowledge Hardy's situation which led directly to him being rehired. If you don't believe this, than you're an idiot, because it's truth. Matt Hardy didn't "pwnt" anybody. If anything, the post by Scary Larry about him covering it up could be true, because he has only wrestled on Superstars and appeared briefly on Smackdown since Jeff was arrested, so he very well may have posted that while updet or drunk and is now trying to cover himself so he doesn't get fired again.
Posted By: SeanAltly (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 03:22 PM
Goddamn right about EVERYTHING surrounding Punk's botched title reign, injured Undertaker getting the belt, and the Cell being used in the manner it was used in. Fucking ridiculous.
"And in what world is Shawn Michaels, one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, the weaker link in a team?"
The Game's. Anyway, turning Shawn heel on Hunter sounds good but a) do we really need the two buddies feuding AGAIN and further keeping the young guys down? and b) HBornagainK apparently can't separate reality from fiction and doesn't wanna play heel.
"During HHH's first main event run he won and lost the title a few times (he lost it to Vince!) so I don't think it's the end of the world for Punk."
Problem 1: Punk isn't banging Steph.
Posted By: neverAcquiesce (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 05:25 PM
"The seeds actually do seem to be there for a great story where Shawn abandons Triple H because he brought Shawn back just to get his ass kicked on HHH's behalf for months, but I don't know if they'll actually pull the trigger."
PLEASE, NO! HHH & HBK had their fill of ego-stroking back in 2004 when Benoit was champ. We really don't need to relive that 5 years down the track
Posted By: AngryTas (Guest) on October 05, 2009 at 06:30 PM
ANyone else find it funny that the longest reigning champ (after Kofi's loss on Monday) is someone who was injured for about half their reign?
Posted By: Guest#2229 (Guest) on October 06, 2009 at 12:43 PM
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Matt Hardy, Version Whine.0
To Be The Man, You Have To…Wait Until He Goes Broke
Death of an Urban Legend
I Thought We Were Done With This
Your Weekly PSA: Public Samoan Announcement
