Five-Star Conversation 10.13.09: WCW Wrap-Up, A Moment Of Levity And A Little Conversation

Posted by Geoff Eubanks on 10.13.2009

This week DVD3 of the WCW retrospective wraps up and we cozy up for a little gab session, but not before we have a chuckle. Join me, won't you?

DID YOU KNOW…? Trent The Penguin is off the market! He and Mrs. Penguin tied the knot last weekend in what is being hailed as one of the most fun and laid back ceremonies/receptions in memory. Congratulations, and WARK!

The Rise and Fall of WCW, Part Three
We're picking up DVD3 as Eddie Guerrero defends his United States Title against challenger and all-too-familiar challenger, Dean Malenko in a No DQ match. As both competitors make their way to the ring, announcer Tony Schiavone brings up the possibility that recent matches may be signaling a turn for Malenko, straying from a more fan favorite approach, which is refuted by Bobby Heenan, who is seconded in this instance that sometimes rules need to be broken to get the job done, a definite sign of the times as the world of professional wrestling was taking a decidedly more adult turn than that which we'd seen prior (and today). This contest, though, being a No DQ affair, pretty well negates that argument.

However, we're treated here to a much slower, deliberate and rugged clash than I was expecting and had become accustomed to seeing from these two, especially on the part of Malenko, who relied much more upon measured aggression as a systematic use of holds, and much to the delight of fans in attendance, I might add. Like I said, maybe it's just a bit of culture shock going back to 1997 after having become accustomed to the Hannah Montana fans of the modern age, but I was struck that, the more vicious Malenko's offense became the more he was cheered.

Too, the fact that this was a UST match and not a CWT battle could be indicative of the fact that, as both men climbed the ranks in WCW, the expectation for the quality of the match expected of them would change and evolve, as well. Granted, there were some high-flying risks taken by Guerrero, as was a big part of his style, but, ironically, they led him closer to defeat than victory; indeed, coming off the top to the outside was a turning point, as Malenko, who had been suffering some well-thought and well-executed Anderson-like focus on the knee, sidestepped the assault, leaving Guerrero to land chest-first to the iron guard rail, setting up the next act in the action.

As a matter of fact, perhaps bolstered by the bloodthirsty fans, we see about as much personality from the man once known as The Iceman, as he appears to have the match and the belt won after having ultimately mocked the champion by, again, seemingly stepped out of character, going to the top and landing Eddie's own frog splash against him, a snide, self-incredulous grin on his face as he pulls up his opponent by the legendary mullet, saying, oh, no, we're not done yet! I don't ever recall having seen such a brazen display from Malenko and it makes me wonder if he really didn't have more to give on that side of things…? It was really pretty cool and I imagine, had I seen it concurrently, might have been one of those things that would send a thrill through my blood.

We enter the go-home from here, as Malenko learns to regret not having done away with Guerrero when he had the chance, because the champion, realizing that he's only alive in the match and is still such because of the favor lent him by his challenger, fires up and the two exchange a series of quick pinning predicaments, leading to Guerrero returning the favor, twisting up Malenko in The Texas Clover Leaf, Malenko's finisher.

Cue Syxx as he saunters down to ringside with his video-camera (which, by today's standards, looks enormous) in an attempt to sneak away with the title belt lying on the ringside apron after Malenko having used it on Guerrero earlier on in the match. Guerrero drops the hold to prevent Syxx from making off with his belt, allowing Malenko the opportunity to waffle a distracted Guerrero with the camera for the three and the belt! For those of us who would have liked to have seen a clean outcome between these amazing athletes, I must point out that there was some mention of Syxx earlier in the bout by Schiavone, as Guerrero was apparently inadvertently (and regrettably) involved in Syxx' having won The CWT, so there was an on-going story involved, so this match was one part of something larger at work.

In terms of posterity, a bit of a disappointing finish, but still a great match overall, especially as we see Guerrero expanding above and beyond the CruiserWeight style for which he'd been known in America for displaying prior to this stage of his in-ring development, and, like I said, some fantastic work and psychology by Malenko.

Speaking of The CWT, Chris Jericho defends his belt against Juventud Guerrera next in a Title-for-Mask match from 1998. From what I can glean from the commentary, Jericho has recently turned on the fans here and begun to explore the obnoxious heel we've known and loved him to be for years, and quite frankly, as far as I'm concerned, it's his heel psychology that really saves this one for me, despite the fact that it really should have been a whole lot better than it was.

Jericho is clearly leading this match as Juve pops off only a few really signature-style offense (which is odd considering his mask is on the line should he lose), and that which he does manage seems haphazard and sloppy, especially when compared against the briskness and crispness we saw from fellow Luchador Rey Mysterio earlier on this same DVD. Jericho's psychology is the real story in this one (including what could be one of the first American "Come on, baby!" pin attempts in history!). Right out of the chute, we see him attack a fan's sign proclaiming "I'm a Jerichoholic", apparently claiming that he doesn't need the adoration and support of his fans, which is a classic heel tactic for someone recently turned, either who still hasn't managed to garner enough heat against himself after having been a beloved face, or someone whose heel act appeals to fans so much they end up liking him more as a heel than a face. Too, we see Jericho shake off an ill-timed springboard hurracanrana to the floor that has him flat on his back, when, as the ref engages the ten count, Jericho looks up, obviously unshaken, but willing to play possum and take the count-out to retain the belt. Juve, realizing around eight, that his mask is practically slipping off his head, delivers a blow to Jericho's sternum from the apron and throws him back inside.

Juve turns the tide and lands a 450 Splash (that looks as if Jericho took a pair of knees to the chest) for the three count, but the referee realizes only after his hand pounds three that Jericho had reached out to grab the rope before hand, thus compelling him to restart the match. Here we see Juve start to really click and come on strong. Too, one has to think watching this that WCW served as such a training ground for Jericho and that the spectacular string of matches he and Mysterio had earlier this year were cultivated right here during this time (to say nothing of Jericho's tenure in Mexico facing legends like Ultimo Dragon).

Ultimately, all of Juve's flippity-floppery just gets him in close enough contact with Jericho such that he falls victim to a fantastic reversal that lands him in The Liontamer, the early (and, I might add, more painful-looking) version of The Walls of Jericho for the tap. Jericho retains in the dead center of the ring, collapsing to the mat when the ref hand him the belt, commanding him to "raise my hand!" Next, as Juve shamefacedly contemplates his unmasking, Jericho grabs a mic and thanks all his Jerichoholics (even though he didn't need them before!) and taunts Guerrera as he unlaces the back of his mask. Impatient, Jericho rips the mask off of Juve's exposed face, holding high the mask as we see the Luchador's face for the first time. Damn good-looking kid, I might add. I bet he got plenty of action when he was out raving balls.

All in all, aside from a time capsule in the evolution of the amazing Chris Jericho and a rare American unmasking by a Luchador, this one sadly wasn't really terribly impressive. Hopefully we're saving the better stuff for the insanely long-overdue Jericho 3-DVD set.

The Tag Team Title defense by The Steiner Brothers: Rick Steiner & Scott Steiner against The nWo's Outsiders: Scott hall & Kevin Nash displays in great detail exactly how out of touch I became with WCW's product at this time, as well as why.

Hall & Nash, in traditional fashion as challengers, come to the ring first, accompanied by Dusty Rhodes?! When did Rhodes become a turncoat? And then the champions hit the ring full of fire with apparently former nWo benefactor Ted DiBiase. See, this is what irritated me about the whole nWo angle. Sides grew, weakened and changed each week, it seemed, and one literally needed the proverbial score card to keep track of what the hell was going on and who was on what side each week. And I would have been cool with that had there been logic to it, and I suppose in some cases, there was so. Admittedly I missed out on this part of the WCW history, but doesn't it strike anyone else that it makes no sense for an NWA mainstay like Rhodes to join The nWo?

Too, this "defense" was less so an athletic competition than an exacerbation of the reach of The nWo's power and influence, as we saw Scott stab his own flesh and blood in the back in favor of joining The nWo, Tag Titles be damned. Now, look, before some of you get angry, I get it. Not only was this the first step in revitalizing Scott's character, evolving him into a singles competitor and becoming a 21st Century character in Big Poppa Pump (which also covers for the fact that he was largely physically unable to continue to perform at the impressive level upon which he and his brother had made their names, succumbing instead to be a character- as opposed to performance-driven individual), the fact that Rick fought back with such fortitude, even on his own, even after having been betrayed by his brother, even with gold on the line, set up a program that would have fans reacting passionately, with Scott ultimately coming out on top to lend momentum to his new character, who would eventually end up a main event player and a champion.

This just seems like such a red herring, bait-&-switch. I mean, if you were watching WCW around this time, wouldn't you have become immune to this sort of thing? Didn't you come to expect it? Didn't you feel literally jerked around here and there to the point that you just kinda sat there and, despite Schiavone shilling this being "the most shocking turn of events in our sport" (this week), you'd rather just have seen the friggin belts defended in a match among four solid athletes?

I've been dreading having to put myself through these next two matches, especially this one. When Hogan is the most adept wrestler of four men, my nuts clench up into my body. Dallas Page & Karl Malone squared off against The nWo's Hulk Hogan & Dennis Rodman. You know, we all have friends who scoff at professional wrestling, who look down their noses at it and discount it as being a bunch of grown men in spandex playing like grade school boys pretending to beat up one another. However, once in a great while, a situation comes along that earns some media hype, not because of the aptitude of the men involved in an upcoming clash, not because of a solid and compelling story, but because someone from their world gets slid enough dough to lower himself to step into the ring, despite the fact that they're about as equipped to land planes at a major airport. Invariably, it is to these "mega-events", to quote Schiavone, that they inevitably decide to give pro wrestling a try and it is because of matches like this festering dung heap that, after having "given it a chance" they continue to ride us for our passion.

Thus match is an embarrassment to the craft and a slap in the face to the HUGE roster of exceptional talent under contract by this promotion at this time. The fact that I spent this much time sitting through this bullshit is enough, I'm not about to waste any more energy discussing it. Malone, you should ashamed. Rodman, you should be so lucky.

pours a stiff cocktail

How did Nirvana never sue the living hell out of WCW for a rip-off so blatant of one of their songs it would have Sean Combs and Kanye West shaking their heads in shame, and if not Nirvana, certainly Kurt Cobain's gold-digging wife? Okay, as mentioned, here's a WCW Tile match pitting champion Goldberg against challenger Dallas Page. The first thing by which I'm struck is how that overwhelming fan ovation cut out as soon as Goldberg's music stopped. Curious that.

I've made my feelings for (or perhaps more accurately, against) Goldberg quite clear here many times in the past, but I don't know if we've ever really discussed Page, if that tells you what kind of relevance and legacy he's lent the business. Look, don't be lured by hype or sentimentality, this guy was always destined to be a footnote in the annals of the industry, the fact that his asterisk happens to be in bold is because he had a big mouth and a lot of charisma. He ripped off his finisher from Austin and gave it a cut name and a gesture and he ripped off his moniker of "The People's Champion" from The Rock and ran with it because it was familiar and rolled off the tongue (largely because someone with infinitely greater aptitude than he came up with it). The best thing Page did in professional wrestling was his stripper wife. No, I do not like him, Sam I Am.

That said, this match was not the vast abyss of suckitude I was thinking it might be. Granted, there was a wealth of psychology at work here, as you might expect there would have to be to believably pit a dominant physical specimen such as Goldberg at this stage of his career (ie, undefeated) against Page, who was, what 70, 75 years old here…? But I have to be fair and put over the pure athleticism displayed by Goldberg here. Granted the guy carried a lot of beef and he moved it around well, there was a point early on in the match where Page was on the mat and attempted to bring Goldberg down to his level with a leg sweep, but Goldberg actually bent backwards into it, landed on his hands and brought the rest of his body over in a forced handspring. I acquiesce, that was awesome.

However, again, do we see a WCW PPV main event for "the richest prize in our sport" and it lasts, with introductions, about ten minutes. That, to me, is a total rip-off. I can imagine if WCW was trying to work the "legit" sports/boxing angle, where you spend a couple hours watching an under card about which you may or may not care to get to a main event that lasts about 15 seconds when compared to the weeks of hype and millions of dollars of hype funneled into getting one to purchase it, but, that to me, is the benefit of professional wrestling (or at least it should be). At this point in time, PPVs went for $30 a pop for roughly three hours worth of action. Being (and knowing) that it's scripted, I not only damn well better get that much action (read, no silly skits that would do better on a TV show), but there had damn well better be a main event worthy of that ten pounds of gold to cap off the show, to make me think, "Damn, that was money well spent!" and that makes me want to be sat in front of that TV the following night when that franchise's show hits the airwaves. If this match did that for you, by all means, but compared, especially, with what The WWF was doing concurrently, I couldn't have given a creamy fart about this match, although, it's certainly not bad in and of itself in retrospect.

Finally, we come to Lance Storm challenging WCW Champion Booker T on Nitro in 2000. Granted, yes, I mark big time for Storm. I always have. The first time I ever saw Storm was at ECW's inaugural PPV in 1997, BARELY LEGAL, when he jobbed to Rob Van Dam, but in an effort that encouraged me to keep an eye peeled for him in the future. The most significant match in which I've ever seen him involved was against Jerry Lynn to open another ECW PPV, ANARCHY RULES. (BTW, the quality of this video improves during the introductions, so hang with it! Also, please note what a phenomenal announce team we have here in Joey Styles and Cyrus!)



I'm pleased the Booker/Storm match was included because it gives a healthy nod to both these great performers at a certain window in time when they were being allowed the opportunity to show what they had to offer at the top of the card. It does me good to see Storm drowning in gold and, say what you like about his delivery (call it no-nonsense or dispassionate), this recycled Bret Hart gimmick from 1997 fits him beautifully and the crowd are buying right into it. Contrast that with Booker's passion and effervescence with virtually every fan in the fan in the building in his corner and you've got all the makings for an entertaining WCW Title defense.

All in all, this was a fun little match and, again, it's refreshing to see some new blood (no pun intended) at the top, as this seemed to be the launching pad for Booker's memorable WWE run (do we want/need to discuss his TNA tenure and current events next week…? You make the call, friends), as well as Storm being given the opportunity to shine on national TV.

Unfortunately, though, we also had ill-fated Mike Awesome in his "fat chicks" gimmick once he suffered the same fate of so many indie monsters; once they reach the big time, they find that being 6'6"/275 doesn't really allow them to tower over ¾ of the roster as was once the case and, without that critical advantage, they need to rise to the occasion or suffer the consequences. Awesome fell into the latter category, as we see here, a huge tray of ham sandwiches being brought to the announce position where he and his fat chick (Heidi?) were providing useless commentary.

And speaking of the commentary in this match, I'd forgotten all about Scott Hudson…or maybe it was that part of the brain that kicks in to block out unnecessary trauma? Seriously, this guy graduated from the Michael Cole School of Hyperbole and the Don West School of Hyperactivity. And of course, Schiavone was, by this time, just about on the last notes of the Jack in the Box before the weasel went pop. It's a shame the commentary and surrounding circumstances couldn't meet the entertaining match here, but I think this match was chosen in part to illustrate just these points.

All in all, this was such an entertaining and educational set of matches, for the largest part and really offers an interesting view into the minds of McMahonagement as to how they saw WCW over the years, as well. Whether you are an ardent fan from way back, or just during the Monday Night Wars, or if you missed the whole damn thing, this is set is worth a view at least, although take the revisionist history of the documentary on DVD1 with an entire shaker of salt.

And now, a little levity…
Here in LA, my favorite morning news' entertainment correspondent, Sam Rubin (who I call Sam The Boob Rubin…met him at the American Pie 2 press junket and he couldn't have been a bigger cock to me if his foreskin crept out from under his collar), was kickin it at The Playboy Mansion with Hef's new Girls Next Door, The Shannon Twins, Dumb and Dumber. Here's some video:

 

I was shocked that they have such small, shall we say, endowments. But then I thought about it and realized, ah…at Hef's age, an augmented monster-tittied beauty would be a complete waste. Really, even if he could stretch those arthritic claws around a Double-D, he couldn't squeeze for the life of him…literally. No, these little Bobbseys with their cute little water balloons will do The Hefster just fine.

Last week, Heidi and Spencer from The Hills (I refuse to use terms like "Speidi") apparently welcomed a new set of puppies into their home, Dolly & Ninja (guess who named which). Congrats to the proud parents! Really, I didn't even know Heidi was pregnant.

Has anyone seen this horrifying new commercial?



My first thought was, Holy shit! What happened to The Blue Man Group?! I continued to gape at this creepy ass ad, wide-eyed and cringing, and thought, Hmm, suddenly, this doesn't seem quite so bad…



You can feel Halloween in the air with some of the scary shit being reported these days. Your favorite rogue maverick and mine, Sarah Palin, must be similarly cringing, as news broke last week that the father of her grandchild, Levi Johnston, is set to pose for Playgirl. It's being suggested that he's just trying to cash in on his final remaining ten minutes of fame, and really, who can blame him? Aim high, Levi. Literally. Of course, I'd be a lot more impressed if he were cashing in on his ten inches of fame and I'd earn a new respect for Bristol, as well. I guess we should refer to this as the "Johnston & Johnson" issue.

To follow up on last week's Jon Gosselin news, this poor idiot just seems to be stumbling from the frying pan to the fire to a stroll across red coals to a bubbling pit of liquid hot magma (bonus points for you if you read that last bit like Dr. Evil). Did anyone else see this?



Nancy Grace scares me. I mean, she terrifies me. TNA should sign her and pit her against Awesome Kong, except I'm afraid Kong would run screaming from the ring like Santina Marella, a trail of pee marking her progress up the aisle. Seriously, that bitch can make smores with her fiery dragon breath. Jon doesn't have top worry about any more kids, because Nan-Nan just emasculated him.

BTW, have you noticed he's got little more than your Algebra teacher's comb-over?! Check out about 0:25:



That's why he's got that nifty little flippy thing going on in front, so you can't tell the lawn is bare up top! No wonder he's always sporting one of those gaudy Ed Hardy T-shirts…the Did-someone-just-vomit-on-you design distracts from the gleam coming off his noggin!

Well, last week we discussed ol' Golf Ball Gosselin's adventure to the local Millions of Milkshakes and I'm pleased to announce that tonight (Monday), the stream of celebrities pouring into that establishment continues to flow from the Hills of Hollywood like the golden brown urine of an infected bladder, as Donny Osmond and his Dancing With The Stars partner, Kym Johnson, launch their new milkshake!

Although, following this little outburst on the most recent installment of DWTS, one has to wonder if Captain Purple has an ulterior motive in doing a West Hollywood appearance (scroll up to about 0:45):



I'm guessing it's gonna be a fruit-based milkshake. Call it a hunch. Although I do have it on good authority that, for a nominal fee, there will be an exclusive collector's edition cup available, complete with a Trumpet of Moroni straw, so hit the ATM before heading down!

Now, I'm not going to suggest this is gospel, because it's just a little story I heard growing up, so don't quote me on this. But, back in the day, when The Osmonds were all the rage and the epitome of teen-dreamdom, an industry mogul managed to score his daughter's favorite boy band to perform at her Sweet 16 birthday party, complete with a private meeting between Donald and said birthday girl. When asked innocently enough what if she got what she wanted for her Sweet 16th, figuring the lass would gush that a personal performance of Los Mormons would have been enough, the heartthrob was taken aback when she said, no, but that he could provide her primary wish if he would do her the honor of doing her. Yes, she wanted to dance with a star, all right, the Hyman-Poppin Mambo.

Donny had to decline, of course, as he had to remain true to his beliefs and remain a virgin until marriage. However…there are other ways, and, so goes the story, he allegedly compromised and did her up the pooper. Now I'm just telling you what I heard. As far as I know, this is just as much hooey as the infamous faux relationships Richard Gere had with a gerbil or Rod Stewart had with a stomach-pumping machine, just a showbiz urban legend.

However, if it is true, I don't know why those Latter-Day Saints pumped so much money into underwriting Proposition 8, because it would imply that the Mormons and the gays have more in common than meets the (brown) eye. And how can we be sure that Donny did it doggy style?



COMMENTPALOOZA
That Flair-Giant match ought to be required viewing for Undertaker, Cena, and HHH. The details of the match are inconsequential, the outcome is what those three need to see. Once you reach a certain level of over, you can never become un-over. If HHH lost the next ten title matches he contested, people would still cheer for him. If Hogan got back in the ring today, he'd still be over. There's no need for Undertaker to beat Punk the way he did. I don't care what Vince or Creative said, Taker has the juice to veto it. If he really cared about the product, he would have refused to win the title. Instead, he allows his ego to be salved yet again and hurts the long term health of something he claims to love.
Posted By: Iron Knee

You know, Iron Knee, you're not alone in being upset over Punk having had his championship momentum taken away from him by having him drop The WT to a questionably still-healing Undertaker, and I agree…to a point. Of course, we have no real knowledge of Taker's true state of health, although we can possibly look at clues, such as his briefest of in-ring performance at the SmackDown! Tenth Anniversary main event and only a ten minute contest the following Sunday in his "signature" match.

If I learned one thing during my stint as SmackDown! analyst in The R's, it's not to lay down too heavy a judgment too soon in a developing story, rather waiting to see how things play out, sort of my way of expressing Jerry Lawler's tired quote, "Keep your words soft and sweet because you may have to eat them later." What I think we're going to see is Punk chasing Taker for a title he doesn't think he should ever have lost in the first place, to eventually win it, and I have to say I think I agree with that strategy.

For Punk to have gone over Taker twice in two months, the latter in a gimmick that is pretty well regarded as belonging to The Dead Man would be historic and I can see how Mark Caloway might be reticent to allow Punk such a lofty accolade this soon in his WWE career. However, what if we allowed Taker the win in The Cell which would lead to a Punk chase? Fans see Punk as just that, a brash, young face on the scene who has the unmitigated nerve to believe himself superior to The Phenom. The only reason he walked out of their first encounter with the title owed more to Teddy Long's having succumbed to Mr. McMahon's threats than his own talent or resourcefulness, and when it came down to it in The Cell, Taker proved his dominance. This is where Punk has to climb the proverbial mountain and earn back that belt and I think he will. Just as MVP came in as little self-righteous bitch and proved to us that he belonged, that he could hang with The Undertaker and Kane, Punk is doing the same thing right now and he'll be regarded as all the more dangerous and respected (if in ability only) as a consequence.

I'm going to be discussing this topic in much greater detail next week in an ambitious column where I attempt to tie in some of the old school booking about which we learned in having watched the WCW DVD set in terms of how Flair was booked to such a successful end, juxtaposing that with Punk and Jericho's recent title bookings, whether or not John Cena will become a member of the SmackDown! roster and why I can't see either Batista or Rey Mysterio walking out of BRAGGING RIGHTS World Champion. Say a prayer for me. I actually wanted to include that in this week's column, but obviously, there's a lot going on there and it deserves it's own time!

Actually, much like any company, WCW had its ups and downs. The true heyday for the company was 1989, as you couldn't ask for much better stuff at the top of the card than Flair/Steamboat and then Flair/Funk. 1990 had some very good tag team action. The Dangerous alliance carried the company from late 1991 to 1992.

On the other hand, 1993 plain sucked, as did late 1994 and most of 1995. The former was dominated by all the wrong people going over, and lame angles, while the latter had Hogan and his buddies running over the company. Ed Leslie getting a Starrcade main event?

The company got hot again in late 1995 through mid 1997. Even if the matches weren't always that good, the midcard was about as solid as it had ever been, and the NWO angle was awesome until it petered out.

Then from mid 1997 pretty much through the end of the company, there was a massive exercise in frustration as WCW appeared to be doing everything possible to piss off the fans, whether it was not blowing off a decent feud with a match (Jericho/Goldberg), jerking Bret Hart around with his face/heel alliance in the midcard, and let's not forget the horrendousness of both Russo eras, or the utter boredom of the 3 months of Sullivan booking in 2000. Only near the end of the company did they seem to have its act together, with a solid champion in Scott Steiner, as well as a huge load of rising talent (esp in the CW division). But of course, we all know how that ended up.
Posted By: Michael L

You know, Michael, I think you pretty well summed it up right there, as well as shedding some light on my own personal time line where WCW is concerned. I clearly remember having seen The Dangerous Alliance back in the day, which was significant to me because that stable was one of those experiences where I felt something really big was going down each time I saw them hit the ring en masse. There was something about Paul Heyman that really clicked with me back then. The way he brought such a different sense of reality to the angle, calling himself the CEO of Executive Affairs and how he had Madusa at his side with such an impressive gathering of talent…that sense of danger and the fact that there could be such a quality of reality stuck with me and never left.

I think that explains a lot about why I viewed some performers in a certain light, such as having been a Steve Austin fan since all the way back to the early ‘90s, to identifying Bobby Eaton more with The Alliance than with The Midnight Express (because that's the part of his career where I came in), to really having an appreciation for the way Heyman views the wrestling product and how he feels it should be presented. I drank that Kool-Aid young! I think that's why, too, I only regarded WCW after the dissolution of The Alliance with predominantly passing interest in favor of The WWF, my first "love"; if nothing else WCW was going to present was going to rival the raw passion and aggressive energy of The Alliance, why should I watch this cartoon when I already had The WWF?

While it's premature to suggest that WCW was basically dead in the water after 1992, because there were still some fantastic performers who got their foot in the door and who Vince may have passed over had they not been involved with WCW and earned a national following (Eddie, Jericho, Benoit, Malenko, Mysterio, Booker…we all know the list), if you came in where I did, the best years were definitely behind you, as evidenced by this DVD set. I really wish there was an a la carte option where you could just opt to buy DVD2, because I have little use for the documentary and there's not a whole lot on DVD3 I plan on watching with any frequency.

All in all, I'd say that if caught The NWA/WCW from about 1983 – 1991, you pretty well were witness to the golden age. ‘Nuff said.

It was disappointing to see Raw main event SmackDown! Then again if we were going to have some celebration style main event it would have been Taker, Cena, Batista and Rey vs CM Punk, a crippled Edge, not-so-fit JBL and some other heel who has escaped me.

Great column though as usual Mr Eubanks.
Posted By: Brad

Agreed, Brad. Like I said, for this to have truly been a timely anniversary show, this celebration should have taken place about a month-and-a-half earlier, but that's all part of being in charge of your own self-perception, as is Vince. As Mel Brooks said,


I have to admit that I enjoyed Cole making fun of himself. Homewrecker and I are in agreement that the dude is in the IWC doghouse no matter what he does.

"And here's a question for Punk, if Straight-Edge is so damn hot, why, in the ten-year history of SmackDown! is he the first Straight-Edge champion?"

While you're at it, ask Hubbard that question also.

Have a good week and don't forget to protect your "tethticleth."

Good shit as always.
Posted By: Angry Bear

You know, I got a good laugh out of the first "vintage" zinger, and that's exactly how I felt, too. Good for you, Michael Cole! You realize what a weenus you can be sometimes (or, perhaps more accurately, what a weenus McMahonagement makes you into being) and you're not afraid to laugh at yourself about it. I respected him for that. But then it just kept going on and on and on till we got to "Vintage shrimp!" and I was about to hurl right along with him. Too much, but then, that's sometimes the price when running such a "sophisticated" product, right Vince?

Who's Hubbard?

Fear not, friend, the tethticleth, the fam'leh JOOLTH, eef you wee-yull, are THAFE!

The difference between WCW and TNA is that WCW set out to blow the WWF out of the water, which they almost did, whereas TNA's ultimate goal seems to be to reach the lofty status of "close second." (You're not the only one who can slap together an impressive run-on sentence)

On a different note, how did you react to the news that if/when Cena loses to Orton at Bragging Rights, he's getting shipped to our beloved Smackdown?

Also, props for the funny stuff, Eubanks. It was really, y'know, funny. The end of the Jon & Kate bit nearly caused me to choke on my kung pow chicken.
Posted By: KanyonKreist

Geoff, that was one of the funniest columns you have ever done. Great job! I don't know what scares me more, the Finlay video or the Stand By Me one. Count me in as a person who loved the Eddie video. He was just so much fun to watch. Imagine the angles he could have had, if not for his death. Orton? Edge? Batista? Cena? Umaga? Y2J? The list goes on and on.
Posted By: The Great Capt. Smooth

Are you sure about that, Kanyon? Because what I'm understanding coming out of the backstage area isn't too different from what was going on in Bischoff-era WCW, although Dixie, unlike Uncle Eric, still has, you know, a soul and professional ethics (not to mention a company backing her who keep closer tabs on her than simply looking at ratings numbers). BTW, I've been laughing about that run-on sentence comment all week! [Wipes a tear and sighs] It's funny cuz it's true! I'm serious, no sarcasm!

As mentioned earlier, I'm going to be tackling the Cena-to-SmackDown! question next week, so stay tuned!

Schmoove, I just try not to dwell on what could have been I Eddie's regard, because it's just too damned depressing, although, the one ray of sunshine is that, had he not tragically passed, Vickie likely would never have had the need/desire to become an on-air character, so there's proof that when the Good Lord shuts a door, he opens a window somewhere.

Thanks a lot for the good feedback on the forays into humor. I'm trying to take this mandatory video/pics thing for our columns and run with it and use it as an impetus to try some new things. I plan to continue on and explore this humorous vein and hope I can continue to deliver, that it continues to be well-received and that it doesn't overshadow the real point of the column, which, of course, is rasslin. I will admit that I'm hoping someone over at E! sees my stuff and hires me on as a writer. I figure I spent the first few years living here in LA on E, I may as well spend the next few years working for them.

Tremendous Smackdown review/analysis. It makes me long for the good old days of you on the 4Rs.

I have to say after watching how much fun the Rock appeared to have on SD this week, I'd like to believe he gets in the ring one last time. It's been what, six years, since he last wrestled? I don't know, maybe he's moved on completely and I'm like that ex-boyfriend who refuses to give up hope. Damn, the man, just has IT when it comes to professional wrestling. Of course, the IWC would have turned on him long ago and complain of him holding down the youngsters.
Posted By: Big Fat Fag

I'm sorry, dude, but whenever I see your name, especially after having posted a History of the World, Part One clip, all I can think of this guy:



ANYWAY…

Thank you! Sometimes I miss the old R's days, because it was never a challenge to come up with content, because it was already there for me, I just had to give my lofty opinions about what I saw, although that, in and of itself, could be a challenge. I definitely cut my teeth in that column and was privileged to have sat under Larry's learning tree for that 3.5 years. I hope that all has led to writing a solid column here on my widdle wonesome.

I hear ya about our old lover The Rock…hahaha. That was a great way to describe that. Sometimes you have it put to ya just right and the bastard just up and bails on you. Oh, and then, just as you think you're managing to deal without, here they come back winkin and grinning your way, just enough to make your heart go all a-flutter all over again, and you're thinking, "Maaaayyybe…?" and they leave you flat again. Bastards, the lot of them.

DUDE! You don't like Gremlins?!? GO BACK TO RUSSIA COMMIE! That aside, from reading you for the first time this week and last I'm really impressed with the column. Congratulations on securing this regular reader and keep up the good work.
Posted By: Guest 420

I hate Ghostbusters and The Goonies, too, although I looked at my DVD collection last weekend and realized I have a lot more ‘80s movies than I thought I did. Shall I share…?

Wow, thank you! That really made my week! I hope I don't let you down, 420! Come back and comment often!

Just to be a smart ass, HBK has appeared on Smackdown several times. First, he was the debut episode, as the special guest ref for The Rock/HHH match. He also appeared as a cameraman in the lead up to Wrestlemania 21 against Angle. Finally, he was on earlier this year in one of the best promos of the year the week before Wrestlemania.

Aside from that, loved the column, it was Vintage Eubanks!
Posted By: Beki

Wow, a chick! Cool. Easy guys, chill. She's a smart chick. With a good sense of humor. Are you sure you can handle her? LOL! Thanks for setting me straight, so to speak, Beki! Anyone who's read this column for any length of time knows I can use a friendly fact-checker once a while! Still, though, three times in ten years? Come on, Hickenbottom!

I stopped reading the column after the line about fans that like Batista 'which pretty well ensures you'll love whatever WWE shoves down your throat." Just because people have favorites that aren't all about the workrate, or whatever you are into doesn't make them bad people, or lesser than you. One less column to read on this site. Looks like it's back to the Hamilton News column and anything JD Dunn writes about.
Posted By: Obviously.

Well, that's okay. It seems I lost Obviously. but gained 420, which works for me. Obviously, Obviously. is a little high strung, has no sense of humor and can't handle the fact that he reads columns written by people with opinions that differ from his own, whereas 420 has already called me a Commie for not liking a dumb movie everyone else in the world likes and appears to appreciate my efforts. Plus, judging from the name, just might pass the dutchie once in awhile. Sounds like I traded up.

That's all for this week…thanks for reading! RESPECK!