The Tuesday Small-For-All News Report: 10.27.09
Posted by Jeff Small on 10.27.2009
Broken Jaws, Douche Malebag, Triple H's Favorite Things, Hungry Like a Wolfe, Big Money Mania, Raw Thoughts, and a Few Silly Hulk Hogan Videos!!!
They Broke His Jaw
One of my good friends and loyal Smallophile, boxer Danny Jacobs, asked me to comment on last Wednesday's wrestling-centric edition of South Park. As no surprise to most of you, I am an unabashed South Park fan and when I heard that they were doing a WWE episode, I was totally looking forward to it. Suffice to say, the episode was immensely satisfying and quite humorous. While I understand if people were disappointed that the writers did not attack wrestling as they do other topics (perhaps mention steroids, wrestler deaths, or even zombie Benoit), what the writers did parody was spot-on – wrestling is nothing more than a male soap opera to the tenth degree. And if we thought Katie Vick was an awful storyline, it had nothing on Bad Irene's abortion addiction (which led to Butters stealing one of Irene's fetuses). Throw in other great zingers including Juggernaut running away from responsibilities and not fights, Vince McMahon's opera glasses, and of course, all the gay porn on the wrestling coach's IPHONE, and this episode was a winner. But would you have expected anything less from me?
Speaking of expectations, I know that some of you were unhappy with the arrival of the Willie Aames malebag. While I did not go over as poor as Kurt Angle's WWE run in 2001, it clearly was not the home run that many of you expected. So, in what will probably be the last time this will happen, I decided to take some advice from my loyal Smallophiles. And one of you had the greatest feedback I could have asked for. From my favorite openly gay reader Big Fat Fag :
I think you should switch the Willie Ames mailbag to the Paul Cohen mailbag.
But that wasn't all. From J Edgar Hoover: Good idea. You could use a douche as the picture.
Now we are onto something. Ladies and gentleman, introducing THE Paul Cohen Malebag!!!
And how else to start off the first ever Paul Cohen Malebag than without an appearance from Paul Cohen himself! From two weeks ago:
Small. Is that your actual name or is it a reference to your pathetic excuse of manhood.
I had no intentions of using Fact or Fiction to make a name for myself. I used it for it's purpose, expressing my opinion. Not my fault more people were stirred up by my opinions than yours.
The sad part is I waited for you to send me the email with the questions so that I would attempt to placate your ego for overshadowing you. Not only did you not post my answers properly, you attempted to make yourself look good in the process. I'll continue to read your column for the useless piece of shit it is. Something to get nothing from. You ride everyone else's work to make yourself look good. You have nothing original to bring to the party. Slimmer may only work sporadically, but at least the work he comes in with is his own.
The simple fact that you can't spell douchebag (NOT DOUCEBAG) proves you are just as much of a whiny bitch as those who post in these stupid comments. I'm forced to respond here because I know you are too much of a pussy to respond to the email I would send. And we both know you'd never actually post what I write in your pathetic column.
Douche chill. Okay where do I begin? Um… eh… booyah… Actually, I really can't be upset with this post as he states that he will continue to read my column. What else can I ask for except for possibly a Small-For-All thong (Made in the USA)? Thanks Paul for being a fan.
Bragging Rights Instant Access Feedback
In case you haven't read the Bragging Rights Instant Access column from yesterday (it was hidden on the main page for a while), I suggest you take a look at it before reading the next couple of comments. But in case you decide not to read it, the gist is that a few people were unhappy with me for saying that "if you want to watch a PPV with a bunch of three star matches that will mean nothing in the long run, then this is your show." Here are those unhappy people's comments.
From Peep: "Slimmer and Small need to go away. Thy obviously know nothing about wrestling."
From J-Stack: "You guys are nuts; I'm not a fan of either Cena OR Orton, but I *loved* that Iron Man match. And Slimmer, the middle segment with the pyro was surprisingly well-done in context. I can't believe you guys only gave this three stars."
To each their own I guess. Rob McNew, who loved the Iron Man Match, and I disagreed throughout the match (namely when Orton was boring the shit out of me around the 40 minute mark) as he loved the deliberate pace of Orton's attacks while I thought they shot themselves in the foot by climaxing way too early (around 25 minutes in). Due to this, the match felt flat to my between the money shot o f pyrotechnics and Cena's FU through the announce table. But hey, it's just my opinion and the neat thing is if you loved the match, you could buy the DVD and watch it many times, and if you thought it was good like me, you don't ever have to watch it again.
And look, I wasn't the only one unimpressed:
PPV Name Changes
From Urinal Deuce (man, there's a lot of SP references today), "I'm disapointed with the suggested name changes to Judgement Day. Is it too much to ask for a PPV event called Yapapappi Indian Stap Match?"
I searched for hours but cannot find a video of that quality promo. For those who missed it, Hulk Hogan was scheduled to have a Yapappai Indian Strap Match against Ric Flair at some PPV or something. And in order to sell the match, Hogan proceeds to cut the funniest promo I have ever heard. Seriously, I'm shocked no one thought he was on suicide watch at that time because he was definitely on something. For instance, here's Hogan's best advice for that match: ""The main priority in the Yappapi Indian strap match is to get the body in the proper position for the strap-ation, dude!" Truer words cannot be spoken.
Oh and in case you were wondering how to pronounce Yapappi, here's Mr. Hogan himself:
Slimmer's Wall of Text Feedback
From Fists McPain: "Holy shit, Slimmer has a sense of humour and is actually kinda funny.. You'd best be careful Small.. Maybe some good old fashioned sabotaging next week?"
Darn tootin'. But knowing Slimmer, he will milk his WWE: The Movie idea for the next two months until it's no longer funny. You just wait and see.
Fat Mickie James
Seems like a struck a chord last week with my Fat Mickie James piece. The fact of the matter is that last night, six WWE Divas had a perfectly acceptable six-women tag match. Notable name missing from the match: Mickie James. Yup, someone's in the doghouse. Granted, CM Punk has been in and out of the doghouse so many times in the last few years and he's done okay for himself. I'm not willing to write off Mickie yet but she best bring her working shoes if she intends to compete with the Diva Queen, Michelle McCool.
Seriously is there anything that Michelle McCool cannot do?
In today's Small-For-All News Report, we take a look at a few of Triple H's favorite things, find out where Parts Unknown is, explain why the clock stopped during Sunday's Iron Man Match, and explain why Wrestlemania = big money. Oh and if I can find a TNA newsbite in the next two hours, we shall cover that too.
NEWS FROM TITAN TOWERS
Triple H's Favorite Things
From Powerslam Magazine (which I subscribe to only for the articles), "Who do you regard as the next wave of headline-level talent in WWE?
Well, C.M. Punk is obviously already on his way to becoming a big star. Jack Swagger, I like. Sheamus. Evan Bourne is very good. Kofi Kingston. They are all moving up, but slowly, which is the right way.
Finally, are you mentoring any WWE wrestler in particular? And in who, do you see the most of the young Triple H?
The closest to me is probably Sheamus, because we always train together on the road. But I try to watch all the young guys' matches and give them advice, if they want to hear it. If they take advice to heart and really want to improve, them I am wanting to help. As for seeing some of myself in someone? Thats tough. Sheamus just the other day showed up at a show he didn't have to be at. He does whatever he's asked to do without complaining, he goes to every show and is always wanting to work: he does it all, goes above and beyond. That's what I was like."
Woah, what happened to Drew McIntyre, Trips? Or is that only Shawn's boy? And how dare you give CM Punk credit? I thought you've been burying him since he joined the roster. Triple H, why are you confusing me?
With that said, I must give Triple H some credit for wanting to help out and bring along certain wrestlers. Considering he's getting up there in age and only a torn muscle away from retirement, the WWE needs to focus on the future. And Triple H's mix of future stars (Punk, Swagger, Sheamus, Bourne, and Kingston) isn't a shabby group at all. Of the five, it's really not fair to count Punk, who's already a main eventer. So of the four, it appears that Kingston is next, especially since he's discovered he has mic skills. After Kingston, I would assume it'd be Swagger and then Sheamus. Pity Bourne – for he needs Jericho's stilts.
In addition to his favorite new wrestlers, Triple H shared some insight on booking "new" stars. From the magazine:
You had competitive matches with Jeff Hardy on his journey to the top spot last year. But Booker T/King Booker was not afforded the same equality in his bouts with you at WrestleMania XIX or SummerSlam 2007. Is the amount of offence a wrestler is allowed dependent on his status?
Triple H: Yes. Jeff was competitive with me, and I also put Jeff over, eventually. But Jeff was being built up a certain way. He couldn't get there: he was the guy that just couldn't beat me and, the more that happened, the more desperate the fans became for him to do it. So, when he did beat me, it made a much bigger impact. He could have gone out and beat me clean in our first match, but the fans would not have accepted him in the way they have now. We used to say the "marks" were the fans who believed wrestling was all real -- not choreographed -- but now the smart fans, the ones who think they know everything, have became the marks. I know the majority of them don't know the business, they've never been in the business or wrestled in their lives.
Mag: Do you ever take it upon yourself to change match lay-outs or booking plans so your opponents have more offense?
Triple H: Yeah. Look, Shawn Michaels and I have just come back as DX and, on our first night back, we got the **** kicked out of us (by Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes on the August 17 Raw - Ed). It wasn't Vince who suggested that; it was us. It's about what's right for the business, at the right time. Some people think we're scheming all the time to improve our own situations. But the more people we make stars, the more money we all make, and everyone's happy."
Perhaps Triple H is just like a fine wine – getting better with age. I'd be interested to see Triple H with the book after he retires. He clearly has a good mind for the business and could possibly even help Sheamus get a tan.
Oh No, There Won't Be Blood
From PWInsider, "During last night's iron man match, John Cena was busted open after being hit by a microphone - this was not apparently a planned spot.
Vince McMahon ordered Cena to be cleaned up immediately after seeing the spot, and WWE's John Laurinaitis along with trainers rushed to ringside to clean him up. With their first attempt, Cena wasn't aware what they intended to do so played babyface and mounted offence against Randy Orton. The cut was finally glued shoot and cleaned up after the next fall.
Cena and Orton were scheduled to work among the crowd and WWE wanted to ensure there was no health issue with a bloody wrestler among fans. If it were to have happened, the issue would have been taken seriously by the Pennsylvania State Athletic Commission and likely used as more ammunition against Linda McMahon's senate campaign.
As the blood was unplanned, WWE decided to stop the clock during the bout as it wasn't known how long the clean up operation on Cena would take."
You know, blood used to play such a big role in the WWE. It's a pity that it cannot be used even sparingly (like the piledriver) to promote feuds or show carnage in gimmick matches (like Hell in the Cell). Personally, I thought blood helped the brutality in the beginning of the Iron Man Match. It's a hell more realistic than having Orton try to literally blow Cena up.
Oh and stopping the clock for any reason in an Iron Man match is pretty bushleague. It's not like you can't recoup those extra seconds during one of Orton's stall sessions. It's an Iron Man Match; there's plenty of downtime in the match. Jeebus.
Big Money Mania
From WWE's own Press Release, "World Wrestling Entertainment announced today that The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania generated a $49.8 million dollar economic windfall for the greater Houston area, according to a study conducted by the Enigma Research Corporation. Despite one of the biggest economic downturns in recent history, local and state governments collected $5.7 million in taxes.
$49.8 million of direct, indirect and induced impact derived from spending by non-locals visiting specifically for The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania, equating to 600 full time jobs for the area.
During WrestleMania Week, 86% of out of state, overnight visitors who came in for the festivities, stayed in local Houston area hotels. 67% stayed for three nights or more.
Nearly 75% of fans that came to The 25th Anniversary of WrestleMania from outside of Houston traveled by air.
23% of the fans that came from out of state were from California and New York.
Nearly 65% of the fans that attended were between the ages of 10 and 34.
And nearly 71% of the fans were bored/disappointed with the Triple H vs. Randy Orton main event. With that said, it's amazing how well the Wrestlemania sub-brand performs for the WWE. Even in a recession, the show exceeded most people's buyrate predictions and generated a shit-ton of money for the city of Houston. That alone shocks me as I thought that Houston did a poor job promoting WrestleMania in their downtown area and was also shocked how empty the downtown area was during WrestleMania weekend. I guess a lot of people were too busy eating at Whataburger. Considering the success of this past year's event, I, along with the WWE and the city of Glendale, AZ, fully believe that next year's show will even be more of a success. Better destination, nicer weather, and a Wet N Wild nearby. What more could you need?
Biten' Newsbites
Stolen from all your favorite sources:
Where's Parts Unknown? Well according to Chris Jericho, it's near Sheboygan, Wisconsin.
Honestly, I recommend the Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior DVD just for Jericho and Christian's imitations of the Ultimate Warrior.
Lance Cade has re-signed with the WWE.
Not surprising, really. It's not the first time that the WWE has re-signed a talented individual that previously struggled with substance abuse. Let's hope that Cade has his shit together as he could be an asset in the company. Not to mention Jericho's next tag team partner.
Kofi Kingston is not Jamaican anymore as the WWE wants to market him without the accent.
Too bad Mike Adamle is not around anymore as he would have taken this to heart. For the time being, at least all of us can get Ghanarhea now.
NOT LIKE THIS! NOT LIKE THIS! I got to say that Michael Cole was in rare form last night. Seriously when is JR coming back?
What a surprise – JeriShow opens the night. Word on the street is that tonight's Raw is being booked on a napkin so I expect a 20 minute opening featuring big words, our guest hosts, and a long DX entrance.
Kofi Johnson – man, DX was right – he's no Jamaican.
Nice man between Kofi and Jericho – which is not a surprise. Orton's sneak attack was kind of surprising. I'm not happy that the crowd was cheering for Cena though. Don't they know that the Iron Man Match ended that feud! Stupid fans.
Yes, comedy with the NASCAR Guys and Jack Swagger. Thank God, we had the Miz to save it.
Woah, how was Sheamus a free agent already? He's been around for what six months? Man, someone get me in touch with his agent. To Inside Pulse I go!
Wait, so I thought that Chavo and Hornswoggle weren't feuding anymore. Does Hornswoggle have jury duty coming up?
Oh man, is DX turning heel? For turning on Hornswoggle? I guess this show is being written on a Wendy's napkin.
Is Cena admitting that Raw has been stale for 12 years? That's the biggest truth he's said since the whole "No Roids" campaign.
Poor MVP, he has no idea who he's about to job to.
Color me surprised, MVP didn't job. Perhaps there's a push in store for MVP in the near future. I know I know, I really shouldn't get ahead of myself.
Oh shit, it's Taye Diggs on the TitanTron. Oh wait, it's just Kofi. And he's about to take a poop on the Randy Orton stock car. Or desecrate it with Spaghetti-O's. That said, I'm loving this new Kofi Kingston character and am really excited for a feud with him and Orton.
Wow, Evan Bourne looks so good with that countout victory. Can we please send him back to ECW where he can have some respect?
Oh man, the Osbournes on Raw next week! That should be interesting.
Man, even Michael Cole seemed shocked that Jaime Noble is wrestling tonight. And here's Sheamus. One question though – what happened to the blowoff with Shelton Benjamin? Is he coming to Raw, too? I guess not. Poor Shelton.
Kudos to those fans who created that extremely long and obnoxious "Are you ready" sign. Nothing like pissing off a whole row of people behind you during a live event.
And Kofi's out here as a lumberjack. That's like his tenth appearance tonight. Man, Raw is Kofi!
Oh man, Big Show got punked. I hope Triple H does not tear his quad tuning up the band. Fun ending to the match. And at Survivor Series: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H. Well that's an unique matchup to say the least.
Even though Lagano and Busch weren't solid actors, tonight's Raw was still enjoyable. Kofi Kingston made the most with his 15 minutes of fame and I hope that the WWE is smart enough not to give Kofi the MVP treatment from the springtime. We shall find out over the next few weeks.
NEWS FROM BRO-TOWN
Hungry Like a Wolfe
Clearly the only noise being made in TNA over the past week is the signing of Nigel McGuinness aka Desmond Wolfe. While that itself would have been a good move by TNA, it actually was a coup as McGuinness was rumored to be joining the WWE in the near future. So what caused McGuinness to have a fallout with the WWE?
Well according to PWInsider "The reason the offer was pulled was due to the results of McGuinness' pre-contract screening. That screening turned up several injury issues that led to the company backing off on their interest in signing him. This reportedly happened 5-6 days ago, and McGuinness was instructed to keep quiet when asked about his WWE status."
My big question is how did the WWE not know Nigel's previous injuries before offering him a contract? Considering anyone can do a google search (just ask Vince Russo how he thought of the name Desmond Wolfe) or check out Wikipedia; how does this go unnoticed? Then again, the WWE is famous for offering the wrong one-legged wrestler a contract when they tried to sign Zack Gowen.
With that said, kudos to TNA for a savvy business move. Nigel was a solid talent in ROH and could easily be a star in TNA. And judging by last week's booking, it appears that Desmond Wolfe is on the fast track in TNA. Here's hoping that TNA follows up with his excellent introduction with a few good feuds as there's been plenty of instances where an initial push is not followed up on. But so far, so good. (Wow, I've been positive two weeks in a row. What's wrong with me?)
COMING ATTRACTIONS
Next week, Slimmer will be back as the two of us will reminisce about our last four years at 411Mania. Yup, it's an anniversary edition and I hope to get at least one gift for you. Until then…
Happy Halloween.
For the Tuesday Small-For-All News Report, I'm Jeff Small… and you're not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was the first South Park I watched in 2-3 years or so... and suffice to say I had a completely different reaction to it than you. Seriously, I spent the entire half hour rolling my eyes and saying, "Never heard THAT one before."
Anyone remember when South Park was interesting and had fresh, funny jokes? Man, those were the days...
Posted By: HeartBurnKid (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 01:28 AM
I don't think that the WWE was unaware of Nigel's injuries. I think the medical screening showed that he wasn't as healed up as they wanted.
Triple H says the right things, but he is a bit unaware. He is right that a longer build made Jeff Hardy's win seem bigger. As popular as Jeff is, they would have bought into him winning in the beginning though.
However, I think the crowd would have totally bought Triple H being beaten down by the pair of Rhodes and Dibiase. Call me crazy, but it wasn't until the year was half over that Dibiase and Rhodes didn't look like total jobbers. H was no selling a 2 on 1 beat down.
It has also mostly been Michaels selling the offense of others, even at Bragging Rights.
So H is right in saying what needs to be done. And he is right that there needs to be some booking logic. He just needs to follow through.
Posted By: Guest#5562 (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 02:09 AM
I live in Sheboygan, Wisconsin, and I took the 'Parts Unknown' joke to heart. Not cool.
Posted By: YO? (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 02:32 AM
Perhaps the kid looks unimpressed in the video due to the splice job done on it! So Randy blew up Jeff too? And in the exact same mannor as Cena? Poor Matt Hardy...jobber to the stars and Randy is now taking credit for his push against Jeff!
Posted By: hey! (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 02:43 AM
Stopping the clock for the blood actually makes sense. If it was done for the reason of saying, "look, we're just as good as the UFC". UFC stops the clock for blood checking. All that was missing was putting Orton and Cena in the same position when the match restarted.
Posted By: Thechosencowboy (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 03:49 AM
Uh dude, you admit to not having watched the show in 2-3 years. How the hell would you know if it was no longer interesting, fresh or funny? As a huge fan of the show, far more entertained by the satirical edge that has became more prominent on the show with age, I didn't exactly love the latest episode, but I'd consider it a blip in the season rather than some representation of the past several. At least I've watched those and can make a credible point about them. Ya fucking douche.
Small, I thought you were a bit of a prick with the whole Cohen thing a couple weeks back, but you've returned to form thankfully; look forward to the always entertaining Slimmer section, replete with editorial ammendments.
Posted By: Chungles (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 05:35 AM
What Triple H says and what he does are two COMPLETELY different things. Always have been. Just ask Randy Orton. Hell, after Raw last night, you can ask the entire Raw midcard.
Posted By: BJC (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 07:30 AM
Once again HHH isn't telling the whole story. Jeff Hardy never beat him (i.e. pin or submission). He pinned Edge in a triple threat match. HHH had rolled out of the ring when it happened. So HHH never put Jeff over it was Edge. I guess in HHH's eyes, not winnning another championship is putting someone over.
Posted By: mogamer (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 07:49 AM
"# I'm Jeff Small… and you're not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"
Youre right, Im not small, I have a big covk, an Im not U
Goood 2 B
Posted By: R truff (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 07:56 AM
Observations: Chavo&Jillian are the heidenreich & Animal of now. Kofi is from Boston, Busch was horrid, Bella Twins are great, beer is good, and people are crazy
Posted By: Capt Oats (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 08:11 AM
You pronounced it wrong, it's "DEY TEWK ARE JERBS!"
Posted By: JustAGuyGuy (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 08:37 AM
Wow. I'm honored, Smallycakes. The Paul Cohen Mailbag idea is my best idea since I suggested to Chambers that he should write an Owen Hart was murdered by Vince Wacky Wrestling Theory. Does that put me in the running for a "Smally" at the end of the year?
I'm not sure what the IWC's fascination with Mickie James is. She hasn't been interesting since her match with Trish eons ago and she constantly botches moves on TV. She might be the most overrated women's wrestler in the business at the moment.
And to the Spelling Teacher - one Mr. Paul Cohen - Smallycakes didn't misspell "Douchebag." He mispelled "DEUCEBAG," which better describes you.
In my humble, homesexual, opinion, of course.
Hugs and kisses.
Posted By: Big Fat Fag (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 09:08 AM
Small - you probably already realize this, but the "gay porn" on the coach's iPhone was amateur wrestling. Just wanted to clarify.
Posted By: Guest#1 (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 10:28 AM
DERK DERK BEDERK BEDERK!!!!
Posted By: They took yer job!!! (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 10:47 AM
Worst episode of the season for SP. I'm a wrestling fan, I got what they were going after - and they missed it.
Would have rather seen the WWE guys come and invade the WTF and have Mr. McMahon buyout WTF. If you were to give an insider nod to the business - that might have come off better.
Posted By: BobbyC (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 11:02 AM
Small, I agree with you knocking Mickie James. Overrated in the ring and very manly looking. But then on the other hand you praise Michelle McCool. What is she missing? It's simple: charisma.
For the guy that asked about the fascination with Fatty James, I think it comes down to two things. One, she seems much more obtainable than the other divas. That's a nice way of saying she's a slut. She also had the benefit of being in a storyline where she got to kiss and touch the most unobtainable diva ever. Most guys would probaly kill to be with Trish, and Mickie got to basically live their fantasy for them.
Problem is Trish has been retired for three years now, and Mickie has done jack shit since then. A few meaningless title reigns(she is horrible as champion), but nothing anybody will remember. Listen to Cole and Lawler calling her matches. It's like they still have to try and convince people that she should still be pushed. Cole is always like "well, you know Mickie really does deserve alot of respect." He says this while the crowd is silent for her matches. And Lawler tries to act like he thinks she's hot. When they used to actually have gorgeous women around, he didn't have to act at all. Look at how fucking horny he sounded every time Trish appeared on screen last month when she hosted Raw. That's the real Lawler, pervert and all.
Mickie can stick around, but enough with the damn super push every year. She'll do nothing for months, and then suddenly become unbeatable. It's like Cena, except she isn't popular enough to warrant it. That's another thing that's very overrated about her, her popularity. If she was fired tommorow it would not effect the live crowds, and would not make a dent on the ratings. If Mickie is unhappy though, she should leave. WWE might try and keep their top stars happy, but if a woman starts complaining, you can bet their going to pay for it. She's very close to reaching the expiration date for most divas anyway. Unless jobbing for years like Victoria did sounds appealing to her.
Posted By: Guest#3997 (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 11:56 AM
Guest#3997: "Fatty James?" Dude, shut the fuck up. You couldn't get a girl like Mickie James to piss on you if you were on fire even if she was 200 pounds heavier with bad acne.
So sick of the shitbags on the Internet acting like they are too good for celebrity chicks and can do WAY better in person. You can't, so get over yourselves.
Let's finish your fantasy trifecta and get it over with: 1. You can get hotter girls than Mickie James on your worst day 2. You're hung with 12 inches, even when flaccid. 3. Prostitutes pay you for sex.
I left out how you wipe your ass with $100 bills because it seemed a bit crass.
Posted By: IWC=Douches (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 02:15 PM
"Once again HHH isn't telling the whole story. Jeff Hardy never beat him (i.e. pin or submission). He pinned Edge in a triple threat match. HHH had rolled out of the ring when it happened. So HHH never put Jeff over it was Edge. I guess in HHH's eyes, not winnning another championship is putting someone over. "
Actually Jeff Hardy did pin HHH clean at Armageddon 07 in a 1 on 1 match. This is what HHH was referring to. Check your facts before you bash.
Posted By: joe (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 02:22 PM
I have not laughed so hard at South park in SO LONG! He slept with his girl! He took his job! He took his dog! HEE TEWK HEN JERB! MEEP MEEP MEEEP MEEEEEEEPPP! LOL! I almost passed out laughing at that. Im tuning in next Wednesday!
And Small, Ive got to agree with you...RAW WAS KOFI! I was pleasantly surprised. Dare I say....we see the elevation of one Kofi John...I mean Kingston!
I think everybody gives Triple H a bad rap. Unless of course, someone ELSE did that interview, he's not coming off as the great grave digger of new talent that people seem to peg him as around here. However, I do see that he COMPLETELY avoided the Booker T part of that question. LOL!
Posted By: Joulz Il (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 02:38 PM
"Parts Unknown" is near Sheyboygan, WI? I'm from there, so I know those parts well. I think "Parts Unknown" is somewhere in New Mexico.
Posted By: Guest#5552 (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 04:59 PM
Interesting interview with Triple H, but I couldn't help but notice he didn't mention MVP which might explain why he isn't being pushed. Also notice how Kingston beat MVP for the US Title practically as soon as he debuted on RAW. As for Triple H mentioning Swagger, Bourne and Sheamus that could also explain why they have been called up to RAW when the show is already full of midcarders waiting for a push towards main event. Am I also right in thinking that Stone Cold Steve Austin wasn't intially happy with Triple H's inclusion in the main event back in 1999? That would explain Foley winning the title at Summerslam 99 only to drop to Trips the next night.
Posted By: Obi Juan Shinobi (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 06:23 PM
Parts Unknown? Why I would assume they are located somewhere in MY PANTS!!! Everybody strip off, dance and wiggle their junks and badunkadunks! WHOOOO!
Posted By: Big Dick Johnson (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 06:25 PM
Thanks for the mention.
Now Hogan has joined TNA I'm just praying they do an epic Yapappi Indian Strap match with Hulk Hogan going against Big Rob Terry from the British Invasion. I don't know why Rob Terry, other than the fact the match would be so crap it would be entertaining almost like watching a car crash. That or Samoa Joe just to see the reaction from the rest of the IWC when Hogan beats him with the Legdrop after no-selling the Muscle Buster and Cokina Clutch!
Posted By: Urinal Deuce (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 08:10 PM
"I think "Parts Unknown" is somewhere in New Mexico."
Yeah, it's known as Alamogordo. Believe me. It's like the Hills Have Eyes. I wouldn't be surprised to see Warrior Warrior or Papa Shango wandering the streets.
Posted By: Guest#4692 (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 09:00 PM
joe:"Actually Jeff Hardy did pin HHH clean at Armageddon 07 in a 1 on 1 match. This is what HHH was referring to. Check your facts before you bash"
This is clearly not what HHH is refering to as this was a one-off match months before the 'Jeff can't beat HHH for the title' feud that he is talking about. A feud which ended with Jeff pinning Edge for the championship, not with Trips putting Jeff over.
I'm not a HHHater, I'm just saying check YOUR facts junior.
Posted By: BetterThanYou (Guest) on October 27, 2009 at 09:36 PM
Anyone want to explain to me the point of those goofy Michelle McCool promos? She is loving life....what does that have to do with anything and why do I care?
Posted By: JWestmoreland (Guest) on October 28, 2009 at 12:36 PM
Read the interview in Power Slam (great magazine BTW). It's interesting how they put a quote from the interview with Triple H on the cover saying "What big star ever laid down for me?"
What short memories some people have. How about Mick Foley, Royal Rumble 2000 and No Way Out 2000? Or Stone Cold Steve Austin, No Mercy 1999 and No Way Out 2001? Or how about despite selling more merchandise and being a bigger mainstream star even then, that The Rock jobbed to Triple H in most of their encounters including Wrestlemania 2000 and Judgment Day 2000? You notice this 3 year period was when Triple H became a full time main eventer and held it as top heel. That's not even mentioning his initial series with post recovery Shawn Michaels which Trips won decisively at Armageddon 2002 in a 3 Stages of Hell Match. Or that anyone except the Undertaker who was put against him (Chris Jericho, Kane, RVD, Booker T, Chris Benoit) always lost.
Trying to bitch that no one put him over to justify not elevating others by losing memorable matches is bollocks. There is no way DX's recent series with Legacy counts; by the end of the year how many will remember their victory at Breaking Point or even Breaking Point itself never mind it helping build Dibaise and Rhodes as stars which in the long run it has failed to do. It's a specious and merit-less claim by HHH when all one has to do is look at the facts.
Posted By: Dr. John Smith (Guest) on October 28, 2009 at 10:55 PM
so Kofi's droppin' the kingston thing too ??
Posted By: ICON (Guest) on November 03, 2009 at 11:37 PM
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