If I Can Be Serious For A Moment 10.29.09 - HoganMania Running Wild

Posted by Chris Lansdell on 10.28.2009

So TNA signed Hulk Hogan? ZOMG APOCALYPSE! Or...not?

Greetings, humanity! Welcome back to If I Could Be Serious for a Moment, your weekly dose of intelligent wrestling discourse with me, Chris Lansdell. Normally this is the part where I talk about the reaction to last week's column (disappointing), my topic for this week (the same topic that everyone else is choosing) or my personal life (in a word: PAIN). I'm not doing that this week, partly because nobody reads this part anyway and partly because I'm just really anxious to get into the topic. So without any further delay, hit me!

BANNER!

Oh, Brother

God dammit.

I had it half-written folks, I really did. I was researching various Twitter pages and Facebook pages and had a great little article ready for you. Then TNA had to go and sign Hulk Hogan.

"Well, that's pretty much going to scupper any plans I had for this week, isn't it?" That was my thought once my brain had recovered from the shock of TNA signing the biggest icon on wrestling (don't believe me? Ask him) and a 56-year-old man…with one contract. By the grace of a BlackBerry and a generous data plan I immediately hit the link in the tweet and headed to the article. Details were (and are, as of time of writing) scant regarding things like money and length of contract, number of appearances and so on, but there it was in black and white: Hulk Hogan had signed with TNA, and Eric Bischoff was coming with him.

Now I already knew most of that from the tweet (except the Bischoff part), but the main reason I wanted to see the 411 article was for the comments. I had a fairly good idea of what to expect, but the sheer volume surprised me more than the content did. Over 200 comments in less than 2 hours is ridiculously social. One interesting experiment is to read the comments from top to bottom and notice the change in timbre as you go. The first few comments are from the knee-jerk reactors and the people who refuse to give TNA credit for anything. As you go down the list, the more reasoned people start to comment, with the reserved kudos or dislike. It's only near the bottom that the well-thought-out posts come out. It would not surprise me one bit to hear that some of the people that posted their intense dislike at the start also posted how much they loved the deal once they thought it over.

What we'll do this week is look at the pros and cons of the signing, as well as some of the things we don't yet know.



Will the Red and Yellow Be the Flames that Burn TNA Down?

The very first thing that came to my mind when I read this news was "To do WHAT???" Hogan may be 56, but he looks 66 and has a bad back, bad knees and I'm fairly sure he had some part of his lower body replaced. Surely you're not going to put this man in the ring, are you? See the problem is, if Hogan doesn't wrestle then Hogan is probably not worth the money. He'll draw fans by appearing, but they want to see him drop the leg and pose for the fans, not book matches and sit in an office. Hogan's energy and mic skills just don't seem to be best suited to an authority role, and that rather points to at least a few matches.

Then the question becomes "Matches with who, and will he do the job?" Hogan has historically had a problem with losing to anyone who he doesn't see as on his level. There are VERY few people he sees as "on his level". If he's coming in to wrestle Sting, possibly get a Legends title run (a lot of commenters seemed to think this was likely and acceptable), tag with some younger guys to give them the rub and then take a back seat, you won't find many people who will complain about it. If, however, the Hulkster is the Hulkster of old and comes in refusing to accept a role below the top, refusing to put anyone over and expecting to be the focus of everything...well, TNA will be in some real trouble.

Latest rumours suggest that Hogan (and Bischoff with him) are coming to TNA to run the show. I cannot stress enough what a terrible idea this is. TNA's booking is just starting to be compelling under Russo, and the change coincides with the departure of Cornette and Mantel, along with Jeff Jarrett's self-imposed sabbatical. Bringing in two guys who have had issues with Russo in the past and immediately putting them in charge of Russo...it can't end well. Neither Bischoff nor Hogan has a particularly good booking resumé, and you would have to believe that the damage they would do in that role would be greater than the damage Hulk could do by being on the active roster.

Which brings us back to Hogan in the ring, and the burning question: what will happen to the ballyhooed "focus on youth" that TNA had all but promised? Rumours out of Orlando already have AJ Styles being unhappy with the decision, although Samoa Joe on his Twitter feed stated he is all for the move. Maybe because he isn't world champ right now. If the man with the 24-inch pythons regresses to the mean and starts demanding to go over everyone without making them look good, then the only youth movement in TNA will be towards the exit. There's a large bugbear hanging over the heads of people like Nash, Sting, Steiner and now Hogan and Bischoff, and that bugbear is the nWo. With Jeff Jarrett available and the possibility of calling up both Sean Waltman and Scott Hall (albeit a SMALL possibility), it's not hard to see why some might fear a reformation. Although there's nothing inherently WRONG with the nWo, it's the way it has been booked that us a cause for concern, especially the way it has been booked BY THE PEOPLE BOOKING. Past performance is not always an indicator of future results, but those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.



Can the Tide of Hulkamania Bring TNA to the Shores of Success?

Well, it's already working. It's been a little over 24 hours since the announcement, and already people are hearing about TNA for the first time. Yesterday TNA was a trending topic on Twitter, something that normally happens for people like Michael Jackson or events like the Iran election violence. People were talking about TNA. Facebook was bustling with the news too, and people who no longer watch wrestling were talking about the signing. Some of these people are going to visit the TNA website to find out more, some are going to find Impact and watch it, some will got to a house show hoping to see The Immortal One. All of these are favourable outcomes for TNA, and if they can get people to do all of the above...well, the Hogan signing has done its job. Converting the buzz into permanent fans will be key, but for right now all we have to go on is the buzz, and nobody can dispute that it exists. Even the people who see nothing but doom and gloom in this signing will likely turn on the show to see "how Hogan ruins TNA", despite not liking anything about TNA beforehand. Allegedly.

What this buzz also does is put TNA on the radar. Not just the pro wrestling radar for those fans who might not have heard of the competition, but also on Vince McMahon's radar. I honestly think that Vince believed he could just bring Hogan in at will and use him however he wanted. Now not only are TNA starting to turn their product around, they've also managed to pluck the man who redefined wrestling and put him on their show. What that will mean for them is yet to be seen, but being on the radar and being considered as legit competition is a huge step for them.

Here's the big thing though: if Hogan can't increase TNA's ratings, then it's damn close to certain that nobody can. Whether a change of day or a change of network is needed, something will need to be done. However I think he WILL pop the ratings, at least initially, and if the booking is smart they will run some teasers to string out the appeal for a few weeks. If they can't hook some viewers on their product in that time period, they shouldn't be in business. I've got more faith in them than that.

Just having Hulk Hogan on the roster gives you huge potential to develop young talent. Far from burying them or endangering them, Hogan can make their careers. Remember the Undertaker telling people he would "make them famous"? That wasn't just a catchphrase. Taker was giving all sorts of people the rub at that time. Kurt Angle is nowhere near as big as Hogan or Taker, but he could have given Desmond Wolfe a good start just with the handshake. He went further as we know, and did even more for the debuting Brit. So imagine what Hogan can do just by, say, tagging with Hernandez against the World Elite, and letting Morgan get the win. Hogan has always fought evil foreigners, and by choosing to team with SuperMex he would raise his profile immensely.

The great thing about the Hulkster is that you can use him to elevate faces when he first shows up, have him turn on them a month or two later, and then have him elevate heels. No matter what you try, you won't be able to bring Hogan in as a heel. Here's proof:



Sure this is a gamble on TNA's part, especially if you do give Hogan any sort of power or even his traditional creative control. The thing about gambles though is that they sometimes pay off, and pay off big time. I'm not ready to declare this the greatest move in the history of TNA, neither am I ready to condemn TNA to their grave. Let's just wait and see, shall we? Because if this works, wrestling as a whole stands to benefit.

Do Ya Know Something Mean Gene?

With all that said, there remain a couple of questions. First and foremost, why Bischoff? No matter what you think of the Hogan signing, you can at least see why they got him. Bischoff has been a decent on-air character, a booker who had a couple of good ideas that he ran into the ground, and a total failure as an administrator. He's Hogan's running buddy, this we know, but that very fact is what started the problems in WCW. With Nash and Steiner still very active in TNA, you're basically giving Bischoff all the tools he needs to make a mess. It's like locking a recovering alcoholic in a beer freezer. Bischoff brings nothing obvious to the product and is the biggest question I have about the whole deal.

I'm also wondering about the whole Ric Flair tie-in. The two were scheduled to tour Oceania and do some wrestling (how they planned to get around the "last match" thing with Flair, I don't know), but that would seem to be in jeopardy now. Everything I've heard says the tour is still on, but here's the kicker: rumour has it that Flair signed some sort of contract that "ties" him to Hogan and his activities for three years. If this is true it may not apply to contracted work, since the contract couldn't force TNA to sign Flair. If however TNA does end up signing Ric Flair, and he gets in the ring...he will lose a lot of fans. Personally I won't lose any respect for him, because I feel he's doing it out of necessity. Pity is really all the man would warrant at that point.

And finally, what does this mean for Vince Russo? There is an element that want this signing to mean the end of Russo, but they are conveniently forgetting the aforementioned improvement in the product since Russo gained complete control. We know in the past he has not got along with Bischoff and Hogan especially, and even if they come in and are underneath him he's in a difficult position. Bischoff in particular is very ambitious and is unlikely to settle for being the monkey to Russo's organ grinder.

Moment over. TWITTER BREAK!

With that said...Lansdell on Twitter, for great justice!
http://www.twitter.com/411mania
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma

Serious Tweet of the Week

This week's question: What was your initial reaction on hearing that TNA had signed Hulk Hogan?

Lunchbox Devin: WTF?

A man of few words.

Boyd the Bede: "this is the kind of crap that happens when I'm away from the computer for too long."

Joe Slater: My first two thoughts were a combination of what Devin and Boyd said above. My next thought was imagining all the high spots in a Hogan-Nash match.

That must have taken literally milliseconds.

Kenneth Uphoff: Coming soon to DVD, The Rise and Fall of TNA...

411's own Stephen Randle, whose fantasy NHL team is getting plastered by mine: DOOOOM!!!

I tried to tell him that Doom was Simmons and Reed, but he was too busy crying into his cowboy hat. Yes, he has a cowboy hat.

411's own Steve "The Goose" Gustafson: Where Hogan goes, can Edward Leslie be far behind?

Christ almighty I hope he's REALLY far behind.

411's own Drew Robbins: In the words of Stone Cold: What? What? What?

411's own @dustinjames: @lansdellicious Bad move by TNA. Bischoff is a good signing while Hogan is bat shit crazy

@iwcmvp: @lansdellicious My thoughts: "Damn, Vince is gonna be pissed. At least there will be competition now."

@MrWheal: @lansdellicious sheeee-it guess they are serious bout pushing young talent huh?

@steveberman1022: @lansdellicious HOGAN TO TNA!?! wow. I don't even kno what to say.

And that about...



Dammit! After Buddy Randle wrote his column I SWORE that JokerCat would be retired, but he has returned! Oh well, have at it my feline friend!

I got questions too! For example, can we have a Yagrandpapi strap match? And given that Nick Hogan is training to be a wrestler, can TNA sign him too? I mean, Russo already uses Crash TV booking, so Nick should feel right at home. Once his dad gets drunk on power it will be even more comfortable with him. Are TNA making half his cheque out to Linda?

I do worry though. I mean, Hogan now has 6 sides of a ring to pose for...he might strain something! They can't use Hulkamania, they can't use Hollywood Hogan and they can't use Real American...maybe they can put him under a mask and call him Mr America! Oh wait...

No but seriously, I think this is a great move for TNA. With this signing the average age of their roster is high enough to qualify them for a tax saving for employing the aged!

Thats's quite enough out of you.

Right then folks, I'm out. I'm not even going to say anything about next week, because knowing my luck Mickie James will announce she is carrying Vince's child or something crazy. Thanks to Stephen Randle, Ryan Byers and Jeremy Thomas for their help with this column, and of course to you all for reading.

Stay Cool, Rock Hard. Lansdellicious – Out.