The 411 Wrestling Top 5 11.04.09: Week 47 – Biggest Hogan Mistakes

Posted by Michael Bauer on 11.04.2009

From his lame run as Mr. America and the Finger Poke of Doom to upstaging Bret Hart at WrestleMania IX and his feud with Billy Kidman, 411's Wrestling Staffers rank their top five biggest Hulk Hogan mistakes in the latest edition of the 411 Wrestling Top Five! See which Hogan mistakes made the list and why!

Hello everyone and welcome to 411 Wrestling's Top 5 List. What we are going to is take a topic each week and all the writers here on 411 wrestling will have the ability to give us their Top 5 on said topic, plus up to three honorable mentions. At the end, based on where all these matches rank on people's list, we will create the 411 Wrestling Top 5 list. (This is provided enough votes are cast and are not different enough to cause no clear Top 5.) The scoring is very similar to the Wrestler of the Week as it looks like this:

#1 Choice – 5 points
#2 Choice – 4 points
#3 choice – 3 points
#4 Choice – 2 points
#5 Choice – 1 point
Honorable Mentions will break ties, but get no points.

Also, in the case of a tie, the most votes win, regardless of where it is listed in the individual Top 5. I will also use this rule in the event that one item is mentioned more often, but is one point behind. For example, one second place vote and two Honorable Mentions will defeat simply one first place vote.


So, on to this week's topic…

THE TOP 5 BIGGEST HOGAN MISTAKES

Ok, so last week, some guy named Hulk Hogan decided to sign with TNA. Yes, I did just say some guy. Sure, Hlk Hogan may be the most recognizable man in the history of wrestling, but the man is not a freaking god. As such, not every decision he has ever made is perfect. Likewise, not everything he has been involved with is perfect. So for this week, with that thought in mind, I asked the staff to list their top five biggest Hulk Hogan Mistakes and prove to us all that Hogan is just a man.

Also, special thanks are due to Aaron for starting the Dishonorable Mentions idea for this week.

So what did our group of writers select? Let's find out…



Michael Bauer

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

Signing with TNA in 2009 - Only because I don't think Hogan will actually help any.

5.Hogan Knows Best - I watched the first epidose of this show and it was the only episode I watched. Seriously, if I wanted to watch that crap, I would stare out my window at the cute neighbor across the street. It was boring, unentertaining, and felt like Hogan was forcing the concept that he is a regular guy down our throats. Yeah, I get it, you care about your kids, but this show also led to his divorce, his daughter becoming big for no reason, and his son beign a jailbird celebrity.

4.The Run as Mr. America - So, how do we keep Hogan around and not have the Hogan name tarnished? Um… put a mask on him, go back to his old music, and have him protect a one legged wrestler? Yeah, I can understand Hogan walking out on the WWE because of the creative team after this one.

3.Hogan Doesn't Job to Anyone after the Hall of Fame - Hogan has had two feuds since he was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. He first faced off with Shawn Michaels and I can get it that maybe Hogan didn't want to do a job to someone without a huge shelf life, but this is Shawn Michaels. He has done more than Hogan ever has in his career. Then there was Randy Orton. Seriously, how much of a chump did Orton look like after losing two of three to the Undertaker and then losing his only match to Hogan? Some legend killer. But unlike Michaels, Orton's stock would have be so much higher with this win.

2.Hogan Screws Bret - AKA let's give Yokozuna a two minute title reign so Hulk Hogan can be the main man again for no reason other than his own ego. Seriously, I get it that Hart shouldn't beat Yokozuna, but why did Hgan have to come to Hart's rescue and pin Yokozuna, just to lose the title via fireball and his own ego three months later. Pathetic.

1.The Finger Poke of Doom - The video says it all…





Aaron Hubbard

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

Hogan defeats Sgt. Slaughter at Wrestlemania VII - Not a HUGE mistake, but this was the point where I was really starting to get a bit sick of Hogan at the top. This was Vince having Hogan come in and fix things after Warrior's run, showing that Hulkamania really is a drug that Vince is still addicted too.

Hogan vs. Sid, Wrestlemania VIII - I'm pissed that this terrible match with questionable booking was the main event when you had RANDY SAVAGE VS. RIC FLAIR FOR THE WORLD TITLE in the mid-card. What happened to Hogan wrestling early in the show so he could leave early?

No Holds Barred; Zeus IN WWF - Do I really have to say much besides this was a poor movie with a terrible wrestler coming in and going into the main event?

5.Hogan Feuds With Billy Kidman - One of the biggest problems with being on the outside of the industry is we can't be sure which mistakes are the fault of the booking team or the fault of Hogan. This, I can safely assume, was not Hogan's idea, but Vince Russo's. Russo had a very personal agenda against Hogan (which makes me ponder how this TNA thing is gonna work) and was basically sabotaging his legacy in 2000. This was the BRILLIANT idea to feud Hogan with Billy Kidman. Now, no offense against Billy, but did anyone buy him beating HULK HOGAN, even if he was 8,000 years old? I'm sorry, but when it comes to pure physical strength, there's no way I can buy Billy winning over Hogan. Then again, this is wrestling, so fine. Biggest problem? Russo did nothing with Kidman after this. Kidman gained nothing, Hogan gained nothing, WCW gained nothing. So basically, par the course for WCW in 2000.

4.Mr. America - One of the things that really bugs me about wrestling is that nobody seems to know how to properly book a feud anymore. They either are rushed and can't get going to the epic level, or they milk it and it goes way too long. Hogan vs. Vince was a good feud with a great blow-off at Wrestlemania XIX. Sure, it was an awful match, but it was entertaining. But apparently, they decided to milk it some more and took it to new levels of ricockulousness by putting Hogan in a mask as Mr. America. Then he goes on to feud with Vince McMahon and Roddy Piper. Which is exactly the kind of matches I wanted to see in 2003. Not to mention he buried Sean O'Haire in the process and we never got a proper blow-off. Two good things came out of this run. 1) Big Show got to beat Hogan in the Garden, and remains the last person to pin Hogan in WWE to my knowledge. 2) I have an alternate costume when I create Hogan in wrestling games.

3.Hogan Doesn't Job to Anyone after Hall of Fame - Muhammad Hassan I understand. He's an "evil foreigner" and Hogan beats up evil foreigners. It was a bit of nostalgia and it was okay. Angle I understand. He put him over huge by letting him get the first official submission victory over him in 2002. But Shawn Michaels, a man who is a legend in the business, arguably the best in-ring performer of the last twenty-five years, and who has still contributed to the business? Really? Hogan had to beat HIM to appease his ego? And Randy Orton, the LEGEND KILLER, one of the best and most over heels in the business, who will probably be having great matches and feuds for the next decade? Really? REALLY? Lay on your back, Old man, put someone worthy over, and maybe, MAYBE the smarts will give you the respect you deserve.

2.Hogan Wins 5th title at Wrestlemania IX - If Wrestlemania VII was a "sigh" moment and Wrestlemania VIII was a "shake your head" moment, Wrestlemania IX was a "go to the bathroom and vomit" moment. Going into Wrestlemania, the advertised main event was Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart. Both were young, talented, over wrestlers with a ton to gain by closing the night as champion. Bret could have been the underdog hero who uses his talent, conditioning, and brain power to overcome the mastodon. Yokozuna could have been the unstoppable monster that not even talent, conditioning, and brain power couldn't stifle. Sure, they both became that, but Yoko had to wait three months and Bret had to wait twelve. Instead, we get an old guy who's not going to contribute to the business anymore closing out the show. It's sickening.

1.The Finger Poke of Doom - This was just dumb. You all know about it, and I don't have to go into detail about it. But for ruining a chance for a big money making match, for putting an awful end to Goldberg's streak to set it up, for ruining Nash's credibility, for destroying the value of the Big Gold Belt, for putting the belt on Hogan AGAIN, for being insulting to our intelligence, and for leaving no good will to anyone, this is my pick for worst Hogan mistake ever.



Jeremy Thomas

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

Suburban Commando - Hogan plays a guy named Shep who is an interstellar hero who crash-lands on Earth and has frequent run-ins with a mime. Do I really need to explain this one?

Mr. America - Undoubtedly silly and flat-out stupid, this doesn't rank higher simply because the casual fans seemed to love it. C'est la vie, to each their own.

5.Pastamania - A by-product of Hogan's arrival in WCW, this was a restaurant in the Mall of America that served "Hulk-U's" and "Hulk-A-Roos" which were little more than poorly-concealed rip-offs of Chef Boyardee. Shockingly, it lasted less than a year before it closed down, despite massive amounts of shilling on Nitro. I think this is everything that needs to be said about it:



4.Hogan Signs with TNA...Again - I'm including two events here in one, and they combine to make the top five. The first is the one we all know and are aware of...Hogan signs with TNA out of nowhere, talking about how he's going to run TNA and return to the ring...the two things I don't want to see. I think he would work very well in a non-wrestling on-air character role, but if Jericho couldn't carry him to a good match seven years ago, no one can do it now. I also include his appearance in 2003 when they had Hogan set up to join and take on Jeff Jarrett for the NWA Title on Pay-Per-View. However, after taking a guitar to the head in Japan that was aired all over TNA to promote the event, Hogan suddenly claimed knee and hip problems and pulled out, making the company look like idiots. Hogan re-signed with the 'E two years later in time for his Hall of Fame induction.

3.Hulk Hogan vs. Warrior - Halloween Havoc 1998 - Some of these events could be considered questionable whether it was a Hogan mistake or a Bischoff mistake, since Bischoff was the guy behind the creative direction of the company but Hogan had complete creative control over his character. That latter thing leads me to place the blame on the Hulkster, because he could have always said no. This is one of the most legendarily bad main events on a major Pay-Per-View in wrestling history. Never mind the fact that the whole angle was flat-out stupid and looked like a straight-to-video piece of buffoonery in comparison to the supernatural angles that were done in the 'F with the Undertaker. The match itself had some terrible booking decisions and horrible in-ring work, culminating with Hogan being unable to light a piece of flash paper properly so that his "fireball" that allowed him to beat the Warrior was little more than a tiny puff of light. Fans are still crapping all over this one, and deservedly so because it was a complete piece of shit.

2.Fingerpoke of Doom - The infamous Fingerpoke of Doom was guaranteed to make a lot of our lists, for obvious reasons. There's been so much said about this whole debacle, and most of it is perfectly valid. Seriously, you can't overestimate how bad this one was. I think that the biggest thing this did for me, and the reason it ranks so high, isn't really Hogan's ego, or giving him the belt again or any of that. This was simply the true turning point in WCW's downfall when it went from "getting worse" to "in a tailspin toward non-existence." The whole thing was insulting and most audiences stopped caring at this point, and that was thanks to Hogan and Nash both; the fact that the blame can be shared is the only thing that keeps this out of the number one spot.

1.Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna - WrestleMania IX - Don't get me wrong, folks...I do love me some Hogan moments, and his charisma, presence and influence on the face of professional wrestling can't be properly quantified. But this Hogan's ego at its finest was right here. There are so many ways that the main event of 'Mania IX could have gone right, and either Yoko or Bret walking away with the belt would have been perfectly fine. But no, we couldn't have that. Instead we had Yoko beating Bret by screwjob, and then Hogan coming down to "check on Bret" and doing in twenty-one seconds what Bret couldn't do in nine minutes. Even more egregious was his tenure as champion, where he refused to drop the title to Bret as he was scheduled to do and instead dropped it to Yoko after three months--but refused to do so cleanly. Jackass.



Ryan Byers

Note: I would like to point out that, though this week's topic almost necessarily requires us to rip on the Hulkster, you'll note that most of my picks are from the latter days of his career. Why? Because, during the first half or so of his time on top of the business, Hogan legitimately was one of the smartest, savviest guys in the game and made very few actual mistakes. However, over time, he appears to have lost his magic just a bit . . .

5.Hogan Undermines Warrior in '90 - Hulk Hogan versus the Ultimate Warrior in 1990 is one of the biggest drawing matches in WWF history. It was certainly one of the biggest up to that point in time. A rematch between the two after a significant Warrior title reign could have been even bigger if booked correctly, but it never really happened. Why? A lot of people will try to tell you that the Warrior "self-destructed" and that his title reign had to be cut short because he wasn't doing as well on the business side of wrestling as his predecessor. Though I don't doubt that Warrior was a pain to deal with in some respects, a bigger part of what hurt his title reign was the fact that, even though he lost the title to him, Hogan just wouldn't let Warrior be the top guy. The very second that UW won the strap, Hogan involved himself in a heavy injury angle and series of matches against Earthquake that completely stole all of the glory that Warrior could have had. If Hogan had only quitely faded away for a few months following his loss instead of continuing to be an on-screen character, his return and the build up to a rematch of Wrestlemania VI would have been epic. Instead, he stuck around and Warrior came off worse for it, preventing the rematch from ever happening and contributing to the slide in WWF business that occurred in 1992 and 1993.

4.Hogan Hangs on Too Long in '02 and '03 - A lot of people will probably disagree with me, but Hulk Hogan getting involved with WWE in 2002 wasn't a horrible idea on paper. He had a fresh crop of stars to feud with, and it gave fans the legendary matchup between the Hulkster and the Rock at Wrestlemania XIX. However, Hogan failed to learn a lesson about his career from his time in WCW. He failed to learn that Hulk Hogan as a nostalgia act will spike business for a company for a few days and draw maybe one larger than average pay per view buyrate off of which he can make a fair amount of money. If he hangs around much longer than that, though, fans start to see him as "just another guy" and any ability he has to move business in a positive direction quickly fades. That is exactly what happened with Hulk's 2002-2003 run in WWE. His program with the Rock was obviously huge, and he managed to prolong his initial impact thanks to a babyface turn and a return to the red and yellow from the nWo black and white. However, just a few weeks after that occurred, Hogan was not drawing better for WWE than any of their other main eventers, even though he was reportedly asking for significantly larger payouts. Had he decided to just cut his run off after the feud with the Rock, only to come back six months later and feud with somebody else, Hulk could have prolonged his time in WWE significantly and provided fans with more magical moments. Instead, he devalued his name a fair deal by hanging around for far longer than most fans cared to see him.

3.Letting Warrior Get Too Wacky in '98 - A lot of people pan the decision of WCW in 1998 to bring in the Ultimate Warrior, which was supposedly pushed for heavily by Hogan. I don't think that bringing the Warrior in was a mistake in and of itself. After all, WCW's shows did do increased business after Warrior signed and the company had had HUGE success in the past when it put Hogan up against his former WWF rivals like Roddy Piper. The problem wasn't signing Warrior or having Warrior feud with Hogan. The problem was allowing Warrior to make his character in to some sort of mythical being with magic powers, e.g. the ability to appear and disappear in clouds of smoke and to show up in mirrors as an apparition that only Hulk Hogan could see. It was that sort of goofiness that killed any of the impact that Warrior in WCW could have had (and was having) on the promotion's slipping lead in the Monday Night War. Hogan, who was known for flaunting his "creative control" card during that era, should have put the kibosh on it. He didn't for whatever reason, and another nail was driven in to WCW's coffin as a result.

2.Memphis Wrestling, 2007 - In 2007, the promoters of Memphis Wrestling struck a deal with Hulk Hogan that would see him come in to the territory for a show in which he would wrestle Jerry "The King" Lawler. The show had some problems early because WWE pulled Lawler from appearing and because it could not take place at its originally scheduled venue, the Mid-South Coliseum. However, it appeared that things were still going to go off without a hitch, as the Big Show replaced Lawler and the FedEx Forum replaced the Coliseum. Yet, even though the card was still built almost exclusively around Hogan and promoted very heavily on strong local television programs in Memphis, the show still fell flat. It drew only 2,200 to a venue that is capable of holding over 10,000 for wrestling, and, depending on the reports that you choose to believe, not all of those 2,200 fans actually paid for their tickets. This show was supposed to be Hogan "testing the waters" for a new promotion or at the very least a touring company that would allow him to make some money without the support of WWE and Vince McMahon, but the result of the Memphis show made it very clear that Hogan doesn't mean much if anything in the twenty-first century without an established promotional machine behind him. Not only did the poor draw of the show put an end to a Hogan-run promotion until his divorce from Linda Bollea made it a necessity, but it also significantly weakened any leverage that Hogan had in negotiating with Vince McMahon for a comeback, as it allowed for Hogan's detractors to make the argument that Hulk needs WWE far more than WWE needs Hulk.

1.Booking His Own Divorce - I have to respectfully disagree with Mr. Bauer when he says that appearing on Hogan Knows Best was a mistake. In theory and in its early seasons, the reality show wasn't a bad idea. Granted, it was trash TV that most people with half a brain wouldn't go anywhere near, but that's no worse than professional wrestling in the minds of most. The show was very successful for VH1 and did a great job for the Hulkster of keeping his name in the mainstream at a time during which he was not regularly affiliated with a national wrestling promotion. However, the mistake came when, later in the run of the series, Hogan and his wife Linda started to plant the seeds for a "breakup" storyline. Hulk should have known from his history in professional wrestling that worked relationships often turn in to shoot relationships and worked divorces often turn in to shoot divorces, and that appears to be exactly what happened when he and his bride attempted to play up their own differences for the cameras. Losing his wife was bad enough, but Hogan also lost tons of money in the ensuing court proceedings. Before the divorce, he was set for life and could have comfortably retired without ever setting foot in to a wrestling ring again, but now his bank accounts have had a significant bite taken out of them and he apparently feels the need to do wreslting tours of Australia and sign with TNA in order to get the cash necessary to make ends meet. Though he's not quite Randy the Ram, he's getting closer to that level than anyone would have ever imagined Hulk Hogan being ten years ago. He should be able to ride off into the sunset at this point in his career, but he simply can't. In my mind, that's more sad than anything that has occurred during Hogan's career, and it all began because of his split with Linda.



Julian Bond

For the record, I used to depise the hell out of Hogan due to various things, but have since then put these reasons behind and I actually don't mind him now. So these Top 5 things are the reasons why I hated the dude in the past (either to his own fault or not)... and I'm praying to God that he only does good for TNA.

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS

Suburban Commando - While Mr. Nanny wasn't a Oscar-worthy classic, at least it had a simple, dumb, but funny premise. Surburban Commado on the other hand....just...plain...bad. Even for my 8 year-old standards at the time.

5.The XWF?!? - Remember the XWF?!? It was that wrestling company that was essentially TNA before TNA had existed. You know...the one based in Orlando, Florida (sound familar) and had featured superstars of old (Curt Hennig, Roddy Piper, Jerry Lawler) after the closing of WCW (sound even more familar?). While the company itself wasn't the worst thing in the world (just really weird-looking!!), it was odd seeing Hogan there instead of his former home of the WWF at the time.

4.Signing to TNA...the first time around!! - Remember when Hogan signed to TNA the first time around?!? You know that little incident when Hogan made an announcement in Japan that he was coming to TNA, then Jeff Jarrett bashed him with a guitar, then TNA made it a HUGE deal (even put it on their "50 Greatest Moments DVD) and then magically Hogan was next seen in a WWE ring a few months later. Remember that?? Yea...that was messed-up.

3.Bad timing with the "Hogan Ultimate Grill" - Remember the crazy success (and still counting) of the George Foreman Grill?? You know...the easy hamburger grill that every college dorm student and their mama has! Well I read that Hogan could have had the rights to putting his name on the grill before Foreman scooped it up but he had passed it up or something. Oh crazy Hogan. He was sadly just a few years late when he decided to pimp himself with the "Hogan Ultimate Grill". Instead of pimping himself on this, reality TV, energy drinks and random WWE matches, he could have been a super gazillionaire and instead would be a super-happy camper coming to the ring every once in a while instead of just coming back for book deals and CD promotions (oh Brooke!).



2.Hogan vs. Warrior, part II - Remember that super shitty (but super unintentionally funny) storyline between Hogan and the "Warrior" (aka Ultimate Warrior) in WCW around the same time of the nice feud between DDP and Goldberg??? Remember when Hogan's "disciple" was kidnapped by Warrior and started the OWN (One Warrior Nation...get it....NWO backwards!!!)? Remember when Hogan crappily lit up a piece of flash paper and messed it up trying to "burn" the Warrior? Remember when...my head hurts now from remembering.

1."The Finger Poke of Doom" - I've talked about this moment plenty of times here in various articles for 411 and while this was hellua funny at first to me, this moment will forever be implanted in my brain as one of the crappiest booking moments in wrestling history. Hogan may or may not have done the actual booking, but he sure as hell participated in it.