The Bell To Bell News Report 11.08.09

Posted by Randy Harrison on 11.08.2009

Desmond Wolfe continues to roll in TNA, Chris Jericho offends the gays, Brother Love wants to try stand-up comedy and Hulk Hogan is causing problems for TNA before he even shows up in Orlando. It's been a strange week in wrestling and the one place that will cover it all is this week's Bell to Bell News Report!




After the craziness of last week that saw Hulk Hogan signing with TNA and everything that that entailed, things were a little calmer this week as there was mostly some fallout from the Hogan signing and not too much else going on in the world of wrestling as the WWE is currently touring Europe and most of the news from those trips doesn't start coming out until everyone gets back and starts spilling the scoops. I'll still have plenty to talk about though as we'll be covering the weeklies, as well as the aforementioned Hogan fallout, some TNA wrestlers apparently asking for their release, Chris Jericho getting in some hot water at a horror film festival of all things and a whole lot more.

Before we get to all of that though, it's time for my usual look into my fantasy hockey line-ups, especially my Yahoo team, which now has THREE top-line players on the IR (Hossa, Sedin and Weber), yet I'm still somehow in first place. Picking Ryan Miller had me a little worried in the pre-season, but now I'm feeling like I broke the bank as he's been the most consistent of my trio of goalies and the rest of my skaters have been stepping up to score in the absence of what seems like half of my team. At least I'm close to getting all three of my IR players back, which will probably mean that I'll have to cut Mike Knuble, but that's a trade-off I'm willing to make to have Hossa and Sedin playing every night.

My ESPN team is still clicking along pretty well, though I am kicking myself for missing setting up my team on one night last week where I could have been close enough to possibly pull a bit of an upset on the top team in the league. I'm heartened by the fact that I've pretty much been the only team to keep it close against him and if I pull off a win this week (which is still pretty much up in the air), I'll probably be second or third in the league, which is pretty cool considering it's a team I inheirited rather than being able to pick myself. I did manage to snag James Neal though, which is pretty cool seeing as he's been one of Dallas' best players in the early-going.

One more quick note and we'll get to the wrestling, but I just wanted to mention that I am super-psyched to be getting my late birthday present to myself in the mail as I am currently the proud owner of a 1988-89 Winnipeg Jets jersey featuring the number 10 of the greatest player in Jets history, Dale Hawerchuk. Not only that, but I was able to find one of the original Goals For Kids patches to add to the authenticity. Now I just need to learn how to sew, but no matter, I'm still stoked.

Alright, alright, that's the last thing I'll talk about before getting into the meat of the column. Don't look now, but it's wrasslin' time!


You know the drill...





Ding Ding....










Monday Night Raw Results:


WWE United States Championship: Evan Bourne vs. The Miz (C) - Winner: The Miz (pinfall, Skull Crushing Finale)
Sheamus vs. Jamie Noble - Winner: Sheamus (referee's stoppage after Sheamus beats up Noble in the corner)
Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase vs. Kofi Kingston, MVP and Mark Henry - Winners: Kofi Kingston, MVP and Mark Henry (pinfall, Henry's World's Strongest Slam on Rhodes)
Six-Diva Number One Contender Battle Royal: Alicia Fox, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, Brie Bella, Nikki Bella and Eve Torres - Winner: Alicia Fox (eliminated Kelly Kelly to win)
Triple Threat Match: John Cena vs. Chris Jericho vs. The Big Show - Winner: Chris Jericho (pinfall, Show's knockout punch on Cena)


Moving towards the traditional Thanksgiving month Survivor Series pay-per-view event, Monday Night Raw chugged along with former reality TV stars Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne as guest hosts and while I admit that I'm pretty much sick of seeing the both of them, they did a fairly decent job. Ozzy has been involved in wrestling previously as they showed on the show with the WrestleMania 2 footage and his Smackdown appearance and he was actually pretty together during the show. Granted, they had their issues with messing up names the same as most people who aren't fully involved in the business, but on the whole they weren't bad and even Sharon's annoyingness was kept to a minimum.

The big in-ring developments came with the six-man tag match in the middle of the show and the triple-threat main event with both matches featuring pretty much every big name on Raw not named Triple H or Shawn Michaels. The six-man was actually pretty well done and did its job in pushing the Kofi/Orton feud a little further while also likely giving both guys a reason to captain teams in a traditional Survivor Series match-up at the pay-per-view. It was also good for that angle in the fact that neither Kingston or Orton were involved in the finish, keeping that issue simmering. Of course, it means that Legacy end up back in the same type of "losing flunky" kind of role they were in before the DX feud, but I suppose, you can't have everything.

As for the main event, the triple-threat was a good little preview of what Cena will have to face at Survivor Series as he took on both members of a tag team. The match was a little short for my tastes as the more Jericho I can get in the ring and on my screen the better, but it was still pretty spirited and it was fun to see Jericho get a win over Cena and have Jerishow manage to fend off DX to boot, which could end up leading to a Unified Tag Title match between those four down the road. Then again, I'm still hoping for a DX break-up with either one of them freshening up their act with a heel run, so maybe I don't want the Unified Tag match in favor of the seeds of dissension being sown against Cena.

Outside of those two big matches, the wrestling segment that I was most intrigued by was the Sheamus/Jamie Noble deal with Sheamus getting the standard "big man destroying the lower half of the roster" push by crushing Noble and sending him to the back on a stretcher. I know that I'm usually complaining about how they push every debuting big man the same way, but I'm at least willing to give this a shot since they seem to be 100% behind it to establish Sheamus on Raw. If he's still doing the same thing in three or four months I might not be so forgiving, but for now it's a new face on Raw that looks like he might be getting a shot.

The worst segment of the show was easily the Raw's Got Talent abomination that was just an absolute waste of time and nowhere near as entertaining as the Price is Raw segment that they set up for when Bob Barker was the host. My bet is that it was a distinct lack of Jericho that kept it from being entertaining. That and an overabundance of a certain eight-foot tall Indian fellow and a two-foot Irish leprechaun. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that my finger was lingering over the DVR fast forward button for at least 80% of the segment. Oh well, at least we won't have to worry about a crappy comedy segment with Ricky Hatton hosting next week. If they want laughs they'll just show his fight with Pacquiao.







ECW on SyFy Results:


William Regal vs. Goldust - Winner: William Regal (pinfall, knee trembler)
Zack Ryder vs. Shelton Benjamin - Winner: Shelton Benjamin (pinfall, Paydirt)
Vance Archer vs. Logan Jones - Winner: Vance Archer (pinfall, reverse DDT)
Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian and Yoshi Tatsu - Winners: Christian and Yoshi Tatsu (pinfall, Christian's Killswitch on Kozlov)

After last week's departure from the norm with a two-match show, this week saw a bit of the normal routine from ECW on SyFy as we got a couple of decent matches, a squash and a pretty solid main event to fill the hour. The main storyline in ECW-land continues to be William Regal's pursuit of Christian's ECW Championship and his machinations to get the belt around his waist. After last week's attack, Christian demanded a match with Regal and during the opening segment, he got his wish for next week in England. Of course, you knew that there was going to be more to this story than that when it came to the main event of the night.

Before that though, Regal had to deal with Goldust and while the match was a steaming plateful of meh, Regal continued his momentum by looking strong and putting up a win heading into his title shot. Later in the main event, Regal's henchmen took on Christian and Yoshi Tatsu and after Christian had picked up the win, it was time for another sneak attack as Regal came after Christian after the bell with Jackson helping before Regal locked in the Regal Stretch to incapacitate Captain Charisma. The angle was actually pretty solid and has been building well for the past few weeks, so I'm looking forward to the match next week. I'd rather see it getting some pay-per-view time of course, but I'm also not wanting it to be a two-minute match, so next week on SyFy is fine too.

I didn't really care too much for the Ryder/Benjamin match as it felt like it was just kind of there, so the last thing I'll touch on is the ECW debut of Vance Archer, formerly known as Dallas, Lance Hoyt or Lance Rock. I guess I had missed the whole thing with Hoyt/Archer signing with WWE so it came as a real surprise to me when he showed up on ECW on Tuesday. He looked as good as you can expect in a match that lasted less than a minute and his semi-new look was actually an improvement. It will be interesting to see if he ends up making any headway in ECW or if he ends up like any of the other names from TNA that have come to Titan land and flopped.






WWE Superstars Results:


Santino Marella vs. Chavo Guerrero - Winner: Santino Marella (pinfall, small package)
Jack Swagger vs. Primo - Winner: Jack Swagger (pinfall, gutwrench powerbomb)
Paul Burchill vs. Tyler Reks - Winner: Paul Burchill (pinfall, Dangerbuster)
Chris Jericho vs. Finlay - Winner: Chris Jericho (pinfall, Codebreaker)


Superstars this week was another four-match show like the ECW show, but instead of just having four mid-length matches, we got three squash-length matches and a super-sized main event between Chris Jericho and Finlay. While that would usually be a good thing, the match just felt off a little bit and wasn't as good as I had hoped it would be. Jericho is able to get good matches out of anyone and Finlay is still incredibly capable in the ring despite his advanced age, but their styles just didn't mesh well together in my opinion. It was serviceable and well-wrestled, but not anything that was terribly exciting and ended up being a bit of a letdown.

The rest of the show, as I mentioned earlier, was pretty well matches that were five minutes or under and the longest of those was the opening match between Santino Marella and Chavo Guerrero. While both of these guys have to be happy that they're getting big paychecks for doing next to nothing in this type of economic climate, there's got to be a part of them that wants more. I know that I'm a little sick of seeing them do comedy all the time, so it was refreshing that they played it straight for the most part. Yeah, neither guy is ever going to be a world champion, but they're both capable in the ring and this one was actually pretty decent.

The other two matches on the show were fairly pointless, including the Swagger/Primo match, which really felt like there was no point to at all. Primo is good enough in the ring, but he's just acting like a glorified jobber here as Swagger has bested him at every turn. For whatever reason, they keep continuing the feud despite the fact that Primo has gotten next to nothing and as such, the outcome feels like a forgone conclusion and makes the match boring.

Speaking of, the Burchill/Reks match did nothing for me either as Reks is pretty much barely above the proverbial Mendoza line in terms of being released and I wouldn't be shocked to see it come for him after the Road to WrestleMania has run its course. Burchill is sadly still stuck in limbo and I really think that he's going to be another one of those guys that will be lucky to still have a job come WWE spring cleaning time, which is a shame because he's got all the tools to be a solid hand and a decent character, he just has to be given the chance to figure out how to use them and how to put it all together and having him continue the same things he's been doing for the past year isn't helping.






TNA Impact Results:

Eric Young and Big Rob vs. Beer Money Inc. - Winners: Beer Money Inc. (pinfall, belt shot)
Desmond Wolfe vs. Cody Deaner - Winner: Desmond Wolfe (pinfall, lariat)
Tara vs. Hamada - Winner: Tara (pinfall, Widow's Peak)
Homicide vs. Bobby Lashley - Winner: Bobby Lashley (pinfall, chokeslam)
Madison Rayne vs. Taylor Wilde - Winner: Taylor Wilde (pinfall, roll-up)
Daniels vs. AJ Styles - Winner: AJ Styles (pinfall, Styles Clash)
Team 3D vs. Matt Morgan and Hernandez - Winner: Matt Morgan and Hernandez (disqualification, Rhino-ference)


Changes seem to be the order of the day for TNA and this past week saw more of the changes and more of the fallout from those changes as Impact became half of a wrestling show and seemingly half an informercial for Hulk Hogan and his eventual appearance as the new head of TNA, the new booker of TNA, the new TNA Champion, the new head tour guide at Universal Studios, the new president of Spike TV or whatever it is that he is supposed to be doing over there seeing as his role is still undefined. There'll be more on that in the main event this week though, so let's get into the rest of the show instead.

Desmond Wolfe continued to make big waves in his first weeks in TNA as he absolutely destroyed Cody Deaner this week in just twelve seconds before his angle with Kurt Angle continued. The match was nothing and honestly, just another way to get the lariat over as an incredibly dangerous move. It was the post-match stuff with Angle on the phone talking about last week's attack by Wolfe. Wolfe cut a GREAT intense promo about the attack and his place in TNA and took another big leap in getting his character over. Unlike guys like AJ Styles and even Samoa Joe to an extent, Wolfe has the advantage of being pretty good with the microphone, something that seems to be serving him incredibly well so far. I can't wait to see where he's going and what he's capable of if he doesn't get cut off at the knees.

The AJ/Samoa Joe/Daniels three-way match at the upcoming pay-per-view got some big play as well as after a tremedous opening segment featuring all three men, Daniels and AJ met with Joe serving as special referee for the bout. Before we got the actual match though, TNA pulled the old bait and switch with AJ getting attacked by the same hooded individual that has been jumping him for the past few weeks and Joe taking Daniels out with a muscle buster. The match took place later in the show with AJ picking up the win on a weakened Daniels before Joe left AJ laying with a rear naked choke. After the MEM/sling blade stuff, Joe is in need of some rebuilding, so this is a good start towards that end. Hopefully these three can recreate the magic they had when they were tearing up the X-Division at the pay-per-view.

As I've said numerous times previously, this week's show again felt like there was just too much going on to be able to follow without needing a scorecard. I liked the Foley/Abyss stuff and it looks as though he's finally going to get past the Dr. Stevie deal next week. The Steiner/Lashley stuff seems to be setting up a program between them down the road and I'm thinking that that might be a decent enough deal, but only if Steiner can keep the form he's had for the past little while in having halfway decent matches.

Unfortunately, all of that good stuff I've been talking about was nearly lost in the World Elite/Beer Money, Team 3D/Rhino, Beautiful People, Dr. Stevie/Daffney, Homicide/Amazing Red/Motor City Machine Guns/ deal among other things just had everything too clogged up to allow me to enjoy the solid stuff on the show. I know it seems like a broken record, but there really needs to be someone in TNA that can tell them that less is more and that they'll stick with it. If they did, the show would probably be a lot better off than it is now most weeks.






Friday Night Smackdown Results:

Cryme Tyme and John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler and The Hart Dynasty - Winners: Dolph Ziggler and The Hart Dynasty (pinfall, Ziggler's ZigZag on Shad)
Beth Phoenix vs. Brittany Carter - Winner: Beth Phoenix (pinfall, Glam Slam)
Drew McIntyre vs. Jimmy Wang Yang - Winner: Drew McIntyre (pinfall, Kobashi DDT)
Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox - Winner: Rey Mysterio (pinfall, 619/splash combo)
CM Punk vs. R-Truth - Winner: R-Truth (pinfall, referee shenanigans)
Matt Hardy vs. Batista - Winner: Matt Hardy (disqualification, Batista monitor shot on Matt)


As has been the case with most weeks for the past few months, Smackdown was pretty much the best wrestling show of the week, even with brand MVP Chris Jericho spending most of his time on Raw these days. This week's show wasn't particularly spectacular or anything, but it was still well above what the other three shows were able to put on this week. That's not to say that Smackdown was great because there were parts of it that felt pretty repetitive (Cryme Tyme/Harts, Ziggler/Morrison, Mysterio/Knox) that don't seem any closer to resolution.

The guiltiest offender out of that would be the Cryme Tyme/Harts feud that ended up taking on the Morrison/Ziggler feud to make it into a six-man match this week. The match was good and there wasn't anything that was outright objectionable, but the deal with Cryme Tyme and with the Hart kids seems to be that there isn't anyone else that is credible for them to face, so they just have to face each other week in and week out. That may have worked back in the day for a feud like the Midnight Express vs. the Rock n' Roll Express because they could put together different matches every time out or break up the monotony with other teams in the NWA, but there's nothing like that here. Sadly, I wouldn't be shocked if the Harts and Cryme Tyme were still battling this time next year.

We had a couple of big upsets this week as the CM Punk/Scott Armstrong deal continued with Armstrong costing Punk a match against R-Truth by slow-counting a pinfall attempt by Punk, allowing R-Truth to get the roll-up in the argument that followed. I'm not entirely sure where they're going with this as angles involving referees usually peter out when they finally realize that there can't be a payoff to it. For now though, it's actually an entertaining little side story for Punk, even if it kind of reeks of punishment for his John Cena comments. From World Champion to feuding with a referee? Sounds like punishment to me.

The other upset came more as a result of Batista's new heel attitude as he destroyed Matt Hardy with a monitor from the announce desk before nearly dropping him with a Batista Bomb. Why he didn't do it, I'll never know, because it would have helped solidify his heel turn 100%, but I guess that they're going to slow-play this or something. I'm starting to worry that for whatever reason this turn is going to flop and he's just going to end up apologizing and staying a stale babyface afterwards. I am really, REALLY hoping that's not the case as I think the turn could work if Batista would get behind it all the way.

The rest of the show was a bit of a wash with the Drew McIntyre squash, the Beth Phoenix squash (DAMN, did she look impressive) and the Rey/Knox match that felt like we've seen it a million times before. Not the best episode of Smackdown, but in a week where all the other shows were off a little bit, it was still good enough for the best show this week.








MAIN EVENT


-- There's still no real definition of what Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff's official positions are going to be when it comes to their new deals signed with TNA, but it appears that when they finally make their first apperances in Orlando, they'll be entering into a company that is in more turmoil than it was when the whole Jeff Jarrett/Kurt Angle/Angle arrested deal was going on.

There are already rumblings that some of the Hogan/Bischoff brigade are looking to make themselves known when the time comes for Hogan to start with the company as Diamond Dallas Page, a longtime friend of Eric Bischoff's, has stated that he'd sign with TNA if he was offered a deal and if his return to the indy circuit went well for him.

Many people were initially worried about Hogan going back to his cronyism and surrounding himself with his friends and yes men if he was in any sort of position of power in TNA and if he does end up having any power, it's starting to look like those worries will have some weight behind them. If Hogan spends any time in the ring at all, you know that he'll likely be going over whoever it is he's in with, meaning that that would be one top spot that would be gone in a flash.

Page is on the nothern side of fifty years old and hasn't competed in a national promotion in four years since his last stint in TNA. To say that that stint was underwhelming would be a pretty massive understatement, so unless they're planning on bringing Page in to work behind the curtain (which it doesn't sound like as Page sounds like he wants to work in the ring), that would be another slot near the top of the card occupied that could be taken by a younger, faster, better wrestler with more of a shelf life.

While I doubt that guys like Brutus Beefcake and The Nasty Boys would be able to earn national contracts on their own, I have to admit that I wouldn't be completely shocked if they somehow ended up on the roster as surprise additions someday. Appearances of that nature would just continue to crowd and muddy up the picture for some of the younger stars who are just finally beginning to get their pushes realized that people have been clamoring for for years now.

When you add in that a lot of what has been happening that is good in TNA has been happening under Vince Russo's watch (which is a bit of a shock I'll admit), it could spell even more doom for some of these younger wrestlers as Hogan and Russo have a very messy past and Hogan has hinted during some of his numerous appearances since signing with TNA that he wouldn't need much of a reason to fire Russo if it came down to them not being able to work together.

While Russo has his problems (repetitive booking, no continuity, too many unfinished angles, etc.), he also doesn't stand for any of Hogan's shit and if he's not there to defend some of the younger guys, they could be steamrolled and left in much the same position that the younger talent was in the dying days of WCW.

Yes, I get that everyone is making the TNA to WCW comparison nowadays and that they are two completely different entities with different goals for the future in terms of competing with Vince McMahon and trying to become solvent in their own respects. The comparison is valid however for obvious reasons, especially when you consider the recent news that there are rumblings that a group of TNA workers (rumored to include Kazarian and current TNA Champion AJ Styles) asked for their release from the company.

If that sounds familiar, it's likely because it's incredibly similar to what happened when Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero and Perry Saturn left WCW en masse and headed to the WWF to make a huge impact. Now the story is still to be told as TNA denied the workers their releases, but if there are already guys that want out, there has to be some writing on the wall that Hogan is going to be bringing big changes with him, not all of them positive.

There's no denying that the company is in dire straits when it comes to the happiness of its talent and that's no more evident than in this piece of video that surfaced earlier in the week;



While many felt like this was just part of the whole angle that is helping to bring Hogan into TNA television, there's actually a lot more to it than that as the meeting was a legitimate meeting with Carter's comments not being scripted. With all of the changes, talent is obviously getting frustrated, even so frustrated that they're looking for their release. Carter hoped that with this meeting, she could hopefully quell some of the concerns and keep the talent happy.

The jury is still out on all of this of course until Hogan finally makes his debut for the company and some solid terms as to what his role will be are laid out, but for now it's looking like the signing of Hogan is one step forward for TNA in terms of publicity, but two giant leaps back when it comes to the general health of the company. It will be interesting to see whether history repeats itself in the coming weeks and months, or if Hogan and Co. are perhaps smart enough to learn from their mistakes to save a company in turmoil from going completely down the drain.

Stay tuned wrestling fans. This one may not be as crazy as the Monday Night Wars were for the business, but there could be enough politics and backstage drama in the coming months to make you feel like it's 1997 all over again.



Featured Bout


-- The second biggest story of the week outside of the whole Hulk Hogan to TNA stuff was the news from a couple of weeks ago that came to light this week about Chris Jericho's controversial turn at the Sacramento Film Festival a couple of weeks ago that saw him call the moderator a "hadji", which is a often a slur against people of Middle Eastern decent.

Things went a step further when one of the hosts of the event sniffed Jericho's drink to check it for alcohol and Jericho responded with "It's apple juice...fag". As you would expect, GLAAD and a bunch of other groups made a huge deal out of this when it hit TMZ and Jericho was forced to apologize for his actions.

Unfortunately, that's not enough for the GLAAD-ies as they released the following statement soon afterwards;

"Just three months ago, Chris Jericho's boss and WWE Chairman Vince McMahon acknowledged to GLAAD that words matter. There is no time, context or occasion in which it is acceptable to utter racist and anti-gay slurs. Jericho's hollow apology `if offended anyone' is a template used by many and is insincere and worn."

To add to the story, a video surfaced just before press time of the column that featured one of the men on stage, Mr. Lobo, challenging the WWE and TMZ.



Whether this is this Lobo character's way of trying to cash in on his brush with fame by attempting to go viral or if it's something that Jericho was in on and things just got out of hand, I don't know, but the only issue I have with Jericho in this thing is his use of the word "fag". I've long thought of it as one of the most hateful and mean-spirited words around and unless Jericho was calling him a cigarette, he definitely should apologize and mean it.

Of course, because it's a wrestling story and a professional wrestler, people are going to assume it's a work, but we'll just have to see where things go from here to figure out whether it's a case of a work gone wrong or a shoot gone even futher wrong.




The Midcard


-- One of the more interesting pieces of news to come out of this somewhat slow week was the report that the WWE and WWE Films are considering a film project that would explore the origins of The Undertaker. According to the report, the budget would be somewhere around $3.5 million and would actually be set in the 1800's. I just don't see how this could be considered a good idea at all as the man that has done more to keep his character together and kayfabed than nearly anyone in the past twenty years is The Undertaker. By putting together a movie like this, even a direct-to-DVD release, they'd be running the risk of ruining all of that hard work.

One of the best parts of Taker's gimmick is that each person can fill in the blanks in the past and the origin of the gimmick with their own thoughts and ideas based on their feelings on death and re-birth and all of those things and since it is a naturally creepy subject, it ends up being one of those things that everyone can relate to. Doing a movie like this would almost humanize the character so much that it would be impossible to think of it in any other way in my opinion (and yes, I realize that the Biker Taker phase almost did the same thing).

The WWE should take a cue from the flop of the Kane book that took a kayfabe look into his past and origins and just leave things alone when it comes to one of the most revered performers and iconic characters in wrestling history. He's made it this long without it being screwed up, you'd think they'd at least let him retire with the gimmick intact.

-- Connecticut Democrats have filed a complaint against Linda McMahon, who is running as a Republican in a Senate campaign in the state as the complaint alleges that the removal of copyrighted WWE videos from Youtube that Democrats were using in ad campaigns against McMahon essentially amounts to an in-kind contribution to the campaign by Youtube, something that is illegal. The WWE's response to the claims are that they are copyrighted videos and as such are subject to removal at any time, which is the truth. While I'm not sure of her credentials to be running for the Senate, I fear that it's going to be next to impossible for McMahon to have a fair shake in her campaign with the three scarlet letters of W-W-E across her chest. The Democrats don't have a leg to stand on here, but are likely going to use the removal to continue the smear campaign that the videos originally began.


Jerking The Curtain


-- In "Funny Like A Toothache Is Funny" news, it looks as though Bruce Pritchard, former WWE backstage man and the guy behind the late, great Brother Love character will be joining Mick Foley's comedy tour that also features Colt Cabana. Apparently Pritchard takes to the stage this Thursday night in Worcester, MA and if any of you are in the area and feel like checking it out and sending in a detailed description of the atrocities you witnessed, I will gladly post them in next week's column. I just can't see any way that Brother Love doesn't get booed off the stage.

In a related story, Ric Flair is expected to announce that all of his legal troubles and financial woes that he has been going through in recent months are just "life experience and source material" for when he decides to join comedy forces with Foley the glorified comedian in 2010 and that "drinks are on him once his Cash Aid application is approved....WHOOOOOOOOO", whatever that means.


-- Speaking of unfunny comedians, Dennis Miller has been announced as the host of a three-hour edition of Monday Night Raw on December 14th, a show that will see the return of The Slammy Awards with Miller serving as emcee. Miller was honestly one of my preferred comedians back in the day as he was political, but didn't take sides for the most part, preferring to let everyone have their piece of humble pie. These days though, he seems a little full of himself and the references are getting so obscure I don't even think he gets them sometimes. The only way that this doesn't turn into a train wreck for me is if he and Chris Jericho get into a word-off where the winner is the one that uses a word so obscure and obsolete that the loser's head explodes. Now THAT, would be worth the price of admission for this pulchritudinous, capricious, epigrammatic, journalist. Of course, all of that stuff about me was facetious, but you get my point.



The Final Bell


That does it for me this week folks. I'm off to get ready to start taking down Halloween and Fall decorations to start getting things set up for Christmas. Yeah, I'm one of THOSE people that loves Christmas so much that I end up decorating the majority of my house before Thanksgiving is even over. What can I say, I'm a bit of a softie when it comes to the holidays.

Anyhow, between that, the wrestling shows of next week, all of the news that comes up between now and then and of course, my fantasy hockey teams and whatever else I feel like going on about as well as my take on the new Dragon Gate USA pay-per-view, next week should be pretty jam-packed. Randle's in tomorrow, so in the meantime and in between time, I'll see you all here next time for a brand-new edition of The Bell To Bell News Report!



If you're a fan of MMA, be sure to check out Nokaut.com for more of my work.