The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 11.13.09

Posted by John Meehan on 11.13.2009

Hulkamania runs wild in TNA. But what happens when it comes crashing down and it hurts inside?

Welcome back, folks. And thanks for checking out this regularly scheduled wrap-up of all things wrestling news-related over the past seven days. As usual, we're tackling the big stories with an eye towards the positive aspects whenever possible. And this week (since other news is extremely light across the board), that means we've got a TON to discuss in regards to TNA's ever-mounting tension in regards to their latest free-agent signing.

Sound like a plan, brother?

Rock & Roll.

But first...

411 is Coming to Survivor Series
November 22 PPV to Eminate from Washington, D.C.

Two weeks from Sunday, Survivor Series eminates from Washington, D.C.'s Verizon Center. To celebrate, yours truly is inviting all of the 411 readers in the D.C. area to join Mee at nearby Fado's Irish Pub in downtown Chinatown for a "pre-show" happy hour.

From 6 p.m. until show time, throw back a few drinks, make some new friends, and talk wrestling. Then we'll split up, head on over to the arena for the show itself, and sit back and enjoy all that Survivor Series has to offer.

Date: Sunday, November 22
Time: 6 p.m.
Location: Fado Irish Pub (808 7th St NW)

Open invite to all 411 readers and Washington-area wrestling fans! Feel free to shoot Mee an e-mail, or spread the word.

The SELL of the week goes to William Regal, who proved once again just how much of a "company guy" he is by putting Christian over cleanly during this week's ECW Championship match in spite of the fact that the Blackpool native was the strong odds-on-favorite to win AND the bout was contested on Regal's proverbial "home turf" of British soil. Regal has been questing after Christian's belt for months now, and the fact that the two were finally set to do battle in Great Britain seemed like the perfect opportunity to move the championship the way of ECW's resident citizen of Her Majesty. But in a tremendous show of company loyalty and professionalism, William Regal actually ate a clean pinfall loss to the ECW Champion, thus cementing Christian as the preeminent force in all the Land of Extreme. I'm not sure whether or not Regal's continued failure to claim ECW gold is a result of other long-term WWE plans or simple payback for two failed Wellness tests (even after a stint in rehab and a WWE firing), but you've got to hand it to William Regal for this week's showing, because the guy really did what was best for the company and his fellow performers instead of phoning it in on a match that he could -- perhaps even SHOULD -- have, by all rights, walked away from a winner.

The TELL of the week goes to Scott Steiner, who got bashed in the head with a trash can courtesy of Bobby Lashley during a backstage segment on last week's iMPACT! The only problem? Steiner's massive forearms stopped the can from coming anywhere *near* making contact with his skull, and the live crowd in attendance at the Impact Zone saw right through it and showered the brawl with a solid chorus of boos as a result. Sure mistakes happen all of the time, but for a "hot prospect" like Lashley and an aging vet like Scott Steiner, both men need all of the fan support that they can get at this stage of the game. Regrettably, a whiff like this doesn't exactly bode well in getting their feud off to the strongest of starts.

Brittany Carter - local talent Brittany Carter made a one-off appearance on WWE programming this week when she was defeated by Smackdown! diva Beth Phoenix in as part of the continued rebuilding process for the once dominant "Glamazon." As of this writing, it is not believed that Brittany Carter has been offered a long-term WWE contract.

(Though one can't help but wonder if a female performer with the last name of "Carter" was intentionally chosen to be the latest sacrificial lamb to WWE's resident ass-kicking diva on the rise).


David DeVille - local talent David DeVille, current LDN Wrestling British Heavyweight Champion, made a one-off appearance on this week's Monday Night RAW where he competed in a losing effort against the red brand's new monster-in-the-making in Sheamus. DeVille is not believed to have signed a WWE contract at this time.


Jason Blackwell - local talent Jason Blackwell, made a one-off appearance on this week's ECW on SyFy broadcast where he competed in a losing effort against fellow newcomer Vance Archer (formerly TNA's Lance Hoyt). Blackwell is not believed to have signed a WWE contract at this time.




Jamie Noble - longtime WWE talent Jamie Noble officially announced his retirement from regular competition on Tuesday morning, via an in-character message issued on WWE.com. Noble's (kayfabe) reason for retirement was attributed to various nagging injuries and his recent beatdown at the hands of RAW newcomer Sheamus. It is widely believed that Jamie will continue working for the company in a backstage capacity, likely in a trainer and agent role similar to the one he has filled in the past.




None - In a welcome development, there are no new injuries to report in the past seven days' time.




In this segment, I'll be firing off a handful of micro-commentaries at some of the industry's biggest stars and stories. Where appropriate, I'll even try incorporating some one-liners from the week that was in the 411 wrestling zone's comments section.

For those of y'all who aren't familiar with Twitter-style posting, the format is simple:

@Recipient's Name - 140 character message goes here. #MessageTopic

And before you ask: No, these aren't actual tweets.

FAKE TWEETS OF THE WEEK

@Twitter Critics - When you question tweets in this column, you're questioning Mee. And I cannot allow that to happen. You have a choice. You can choose to support Tweets, or you can choose not to. But you'll need to find another column to read. #TNA

@Dixie Carter - "Hottest mom since Sarah Palin," eh? In that case, watch for low-flying airplanes, Desmond. #WolfeHunting

@British Invasion - Here in the USA, "suspension" means "NOT appearing on television." #Irony

@CM Punk @Batista - Wait, you're BOTH heels now? Crap. If only there were some sort of visual indicator... #ChestHair

@TV PG @Wellness - Your intentions are noble, but the resulting lack of injuries and drug-related suspensions are KILLING our backstage gossip columns. #SlowNewsWeek

@Ricky Hatton - Great guy, good boxer, virtually unintelligible guest host. #UseYourWords

@Team Orton @Team Kofi - Sons of privelege versus common criminals, eh? #RAWisRaceWar

Team Orton - If your Survivor Series team needs a manager, I know a guy. #JimmyTheGreek

@Jack Swagger - Don't worry about the televised loss. Often, WWE "unbeaten streaks" ignore these kind of things entirely. #Bourne #Kozlov

@Yoshi Tatsu - An Asian kid who repeats the same phrase? I liked you better as Annyong. #Annyong



Ooh... speaking of Twitter:

Follow Mee on Twitter

http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
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http://www.twitter.com/411mma






*In a rare development oddly reminiscent of the original ECW heyday, the biggest item of "real life" drama was actually televised and incorporated into onscreen programming during last week's show-opening "company meeting" promo by TNA President Dixie Carter. For that reason, we'll be tackling this subject at length in "The Developments" section below.




So Ten weeks ago, I compiled a season-long guide to the Monday Night Football matchups and attempted to venture an educated guess as to how WWE's ratings would likely fare against each game. Half way through the season, I scouted midseason performance records,re-evaluated which MNF matchups still looked like ratings-getters (and which ones suddenly appeared unappealing altogether), and posted a revised schedule accordingly.

I've found that this helps us set reasonable, positive expectations for each new week's broadcast. And more often than not (I'm officially 9-1 on the year), the predictions have been dead-on. Rather than freak out every week RAW's ratings dip a few points here or there, the goal was to give wrestling fans a good idea of what they're up against (based on the strength of the competition), and the hope is to save us from the typical "sky is falling" knee-jerk pessimism that is often so rampant among internet wrestling fans.

LAST WEEK'S PREDICTION:
Week 10 PITTSBURGH at DENVER | Monday Night Football lucked out huge with this one, as Pittsburgh and Denver pits the defending Super Bowl Champions squaring off against the Cinderella Story of the year -- and that typically translates to some respectable ratings to boot. As such, November 9's matchup might even draw bigger numbers than the Saints/Falcons showdown from the week prior (which means bad news for RAW).

ACTUAL RESULT:
WWE Monday Night Raw scored a 3.1 rating, a noticeable drop from last week's 3.4. Raw's main competitor came in the form of the Monday Night Football showdown between the Denver Broncos and the Pittsburgh Steelers which scored a 10.7 rating -- a big jump from last week's 8.9.

BOTTOM LINE:The less nationally touted Saints/Falcons game struggled to retain viewers against Monday Night RAW and the World Series, but this week's MNF matchup between the defending Super Bowl Champions and the upstart Denver Broncos was a clear-cut ratings winner, as expected. RAW didn't do itself too many favors by broadcasting a tape-delayed program from across the pond, of course, but it wasn't hard to see that the red brand was probably going to take a ratings hit no matter WHAT programming they put forth against such a formidable MNF opponent.

Thankfully, even the biggest WWE critic will admit that this won't be the case with next week's show, when the Ravens should -- by all rights -- steamroll the Browns in a game that boasts little in the way of national appeal.

NEXT WEEK'S PREDICTION: (cut-and-pasted from October 30's column)
Week 10 Week 11 remains as unattractive today as it was at the season's outset. Cleveland is just as terrible a team halfway through the season as they'd promised to be from week 1, and win or lose, the Ravens are playing some of the sloppiest, most uninspired football in the franchise's history. As we'd predicted in week 1, this means that November 16 should turn into a solid ratings-getter for NFL alternatives (read: Monday Night RAW).




TNA Wrestling Addresses "Backstage Changes"
Onscreen ramifications begin to herald The Hulkster's arrival

Once again, the biggest wrestling news of the past seven days seems to have transpired ONSCREEN instead of behind the scenes. Last week, TNA iMPACT! opened with a pre-recorded video of company president Dixie Carter adressing the entire TNA roster in regards to a string of backstage murmurings that have both preceded and stemmed from the signing of none other than Hulk Hogan himself.

Here, take a look:



Many initially believed that the footage was merely shot as part of an onscreen storyline to help introduce Hulk Hogan into the company's television programming. But later reports indicated that the footage was actually taken during a legitimate company meeting, and that Dixie Carter made the decision to hold this very-real pep-talk in order to help put out a number of backstage rumors, half-truths, and tensions that have been developing for several weeks to this point.

MeeThinks?

The meeting itself was absolutely necessary, and Dixie Carter is well within her rights (and responsibilities!) as TNA President to rally the troops and put all sorts of backstage drama to rest as these things can and do tend to develop. That said, there is still PLENTY to discuss regarding TNA's decision to incorporate this very-real-life "company meeting" on their televised broadcast in order to help continue the onscreen storyline of Hulk Hogan's signing -- especially when you consider the fact that Hogan is currently gearing up for an Australia tour that will likely prevent him from an actual LIVE, onscreen TNA appearance for several weeks if not longer.

So was it a good idea to televise this meeting and weave it into the company's ongoing angle surrounding the Hogan drama at this stage of the game or not?

We'll let's get my biases out of the way on this one before we even get started:

I'm a lifelong Hulkamaniac. Born in New Jersey in the early 80s, I freakin' grew up on the guy. The WWF was HUGE in the American North East, and Hulk Hogan was pretty much *THE* face of professional wrestling well into my early teenage years. My dad was a wrestling fan, my brothers were wrestling fans, and my buddies growing up were all die-hard Hulkamaniacs to boot.

Of course, a good chunk of these one-time 'rasslin superfans have long since fallen by the wayside in terms of their fandom. Once they wised up to the fact that the whole ordeal was more staged than sporting, most of my fellow Hulkamaniacs simply drifted away from following the pseudo-sport altogether. The majority of us are still good friends and all, of course, but it's not like we're rotating between one another's houses anymore to watch the next WWF pay-per-view.

Regardless -- we can still catch up from time to time and reminisce about the old days of growing up as wide-eyed wrestling "marks" nonetheless (remember this -- it will be important shortly after the photo interlude).

Obviously, I'm the rare exception among my former "wrestling buddies" -- still as diehard a fan today as I was all of those many years ago. And call it nostalgia, tradition, or simple naïveté, but to this day I still try and rock the Red & Yellow whenever I attend a professional wrestling event.

(This may seem like gratuitous self-indulgent photo posting, but I swear there's a point to it all. Scout's honor!):

Exhibit A: Monday Night RAW at the Verizon Center (2003).

Yours truly and some pals from college. In retrospect, the puka shell necklace was a bad idea.


Exhibit B: WrestleMania 20 pre-show party at Madison Square Garden (2004)

The brothers Meehan and the Boy Wonder. There I am, way in the back.


Exhibit C: TNA iMPACT! Taping (2006).

The Meehan Clan in full force. This shot was actually recycled as stock footage during the TNA iMPACT! opening montage for a few months in 2006.


Exhibit D: WWE SuperShow taping at the Verizon Center (2007).

Ran into some 411 readers right outside of the arena who recognized me (gotta love Internet "C"-lebrity status), so we talked 'rasslin and snapped a quick group photo. Great guys, too.


And finally...

Exhibit E: SummerSlam 2005 (screen-capped from the DVD footage of Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels)

Second only to winning that chili cookoff a few months back, having my sign included on a Hulk Hogan DVD is pretty much the sole highlight of my sad little life.


Now then...

Obligatory fanboy admission, self-deprecating humor, and sarcasm aside --

By the time I hit high school, my continued years of watching wrestling had changed how I viewed the business, its performers, and its onscreen storylines altogether. While my buddies (who'd tuned out as "marks" and never looked back) knew the whole thing was fake, I'd spent WAAAY too much time in the interim reading the dirt sheets and the internet message boards, and I'd become smartened up to the "inside" scoop of the business enough to know that a lot of what happened on TV was a direct result of what all went on BEHIND the scenes.

That's when the realization hit:

The Hulkster wasn't exactly the squeaky clean superhero I had grown to admire over so many years as a child. Sure, he was still THE biggest and most instantly recognizable name and face that the industry had ever produced -- but the bottom line was that the guy was something of a well-documented egomaniac. "Marks" like my old wrestling buddies saw him as little more than a showman. But to "smart fans," his cronyism was as much a trademark as his silken hair like that of a Chinaman, and his backstage politics were just as devastating as his big, stinky legdrop.

So why does this all matter?

(Remember earlier when I swore there was a point to all of the trip down memory lane stuff? Here it comes)...

"Smart" fans (like the internet types) spend a lot of time looking at the business from an "insider" point of view. "Smart" fans obsess over backstage politics and emerging talent. We've studied wrestling history and learned from its mistakes. We champion performers with better workrate. We're skeptical of old timers clinging to spots long past their prime, and we speculate on the future of the business and its performers.

In short: Most of these fans tend to DISTRUST Hulk Hogan, and would rather NOT see him on television.

Meanwhile, a pretty sizable handful of those old-school fans who tuned out when they learned it was all scripted still do tune in and watch professional wrestling on occassion. They're not regular viewers by a longshot, but we'll call 'em "fairweather fans" for the sake of this argument. And every once in a while, "fairweather fans" start to wonder what all the old guys are up to, and they're tickled pink to see familiar faces on TV to help reassure them that the show is more or less the same today as it was when they stopped watching regularly in the first place. To wit: they "wanna see that the old place is in good hands." And since they no nothing of the guy's backstage reputation, what better hands could there possibly be for them than those connected to the reassuring 24" Pythons of the Real American himself?

In short: Most of these fairweather fans tend to LIKE Hulk Hogan, and EXPECT to see him on television.

Problem is...

Smart fans know all too well what happens when Hulk Hogan steals valuable television time away from young talent. If we must begrudgingly accept that he is indeed a part of the TNA family, we'd MUCH rather see him remain in a backstage capacity rather than one that gives him either television exposure or the chance to populate the roster with his cronies. But then again, we're probably going to watch regardless -- and so what leverage do we have?

Hulk Hogan's signing to TNA brings with him the prospect (if not promise) of an increased viewership among fairweather fans. Oblivious to his backstage machinations, they grew up on Hulk Hogan. They like the guy, they heard he signed on with this new company, and they tune in expecting to see him on their TV screens. If he's not there sooner than later (and in a prominent onscreen role) -- then they're just as soon to tune out altogether.

Bottom line?

Dixie Carter is 100% correct. As much as the "smart" fan in Mee hatest to say it, but TNA has put themselves into a position where they really have no choice BUT to start swinging for the fences -- and that means doing whatever they can to incorporate The Hulkster into their onscreen storylines as soon as possible. The man has an incredibly limited shelf-life the way it is, and his greatest appeal is among fairweather fans. If he's going to have any effect on their audience size whatsoever, then he's going to need to be featured PROMINENTLY on TNA programming, and he's going to have to be featured SOON.

Love him or hate him, there's no denying that Hulk Hogan's reputation precedes him. As such, smart fans have already made up their mind on the Hogan signing a LONG time ago -- and now the only viewers left for the company to court are those "fairweather" fans with an incredibly fickle and limited attention span the way it is. As crazy as it may sound, the smarks are simply so sured-up in their viewing loyalty already that these same fairweather fans are really the best chance for TNA to grow as a company in the forseeable future. And frustrating though it may be, these fairweather types simply won't stick around too long if TNA swears they've got Hulk Hogan under contract yet chooses to do nothing to showcase him in short order.




It's a special double-feature of random 'rasslin references this week, as the superstars and storylines of the pseudo-sport of kings made broad forays into mainstream television programming not once but TWICE in the same week.

First up? Wednesday night's Food Network presentation of "Dinner Impossible," where the WWE roster helped out in a massive cookoff for charity. The proper episode trailer isn't readily available online, but I did manage to find this fan-made highlight reel (get it before it's gone!):



Second 'rasslin reference?

The most recent installment of Fox's "Bones," which saw the show's title character and her FBI cohort investigate the mysterious death of a midget professional wrestler by the name of "The Iron Leprechaun." Hey wait a second -- a midget professional wrestler who dons a wee folk costume, you say? I know, I know. This kinda' thing would NEVER work on a worldwide stage like WWE's.



Careful there, Booth. That leprechaun fella' is one crafty Little Bastard.

(See what I did there?)

---

And With That, I'm Outta' Here

And so ends another week in the wacky world of professional wrestling. 'Till next time, enjoy the go-home show from MSG next Monday night, and -- of course -- the show-stealing Sunday Night Football matchup between the Colts and my beloved New England Football Patriots (memo to haters: I've been a Pats fan since the heyday of Steve Grogan and Doug Flutie. Boo ya!).

Football fandom aside, best of luck with those pre-Thanksgiving tests and research papers for those of y'all still in school. And no matter where you are -- even if you're a Detroit Lions fan -- always stay positive.

- Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : [phone]-SAFE.