The Wrestling News Experience: 11.23.09
Posted by Stephen Randle on 11.23.2009
In this Experience, we have the fallout from Survivor Series and a preview of tonight's special 3-hour Thanksgiving episode of Raw! Plus, Hogan and Flair make the news, wrestlers in movies and television shows that aren't scripted by five year olds, and WrestleMania 27 may head north of the border. Well, the American border, anyway.
Monday, November 23rd, 2009
From 411Mania's Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!
VAMPIRES DON'T (expletive) SPARKLE!
Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Experience, I'm Stephen Randle, and I really wish the season 2 DVD set of Chuck was coming out sooner than January. Seriously, how am I supposed to catch up before it comes back?
And by the way, I turn 29 this week! Drinks are on…everyone else!
Team Miz (Miz, Sheamus, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler) defeated Team Morrison (John Morrison, Evan Bourne, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Matt Hardy)
1. Evan Bourne pinned Dolph Ziggler (Air Bourne)
2. Drew McIntyre pinned Bourne (double underhook DDT)
3. Sheamus pinned Finlay (bicycle kick)
4. John Morrison pinned Jack Swagger (Starship Pain)
5. The Miz pinned Shelton Benjamin (Skull-Crushing Finale)
6. McIntyre pinned Matt Hardy (Kobashi DDT)
7. Sheamus pinned Morrison (Celtic (Crucifix) Bomb)
Survivors: Sheamus, Miz, McIntyre
Christ, who did Ziggler piss off this month? First he spends a month losing cleanly to Morrison, and now he's first out to the guy who only beats people when other people interfere.
Batista defeated Rey Mysterio (ref stoppage)
Team Kofi (Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Mark Henry, MVP, Christian) defeated Team Orton (Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Ted Dibiase, CM Punk, William Regal)
1. Randy Orton pinned Mark Henry (RKO)
2. CM Punk pinned R-Truth (G2S)
3. Christian pinned Ted Dibiase (Sunset Flip)
4. MVP pinned William Regal (Drive-By)
5. Cody Rhodes pinned MVP (CrossRhodes)
6. Christian pinned Rhodes (Killswitch)
7. Orton pinned Christian (RKO)
8. Kofi Kingston pinned Punk (rollup)
9. Kingston pinned Orton (Trouble In Paradise)
Survivor: Kofi Kingston
So, they actually reversed my predictions, as Morrison went down to the 3-on-1, while Kingston made a comeback to win. By the way, think they'll mention that Christian pinned both members of Legacy? Although I guess that would require getting Christian off ECW, and, well…
Still, at least Kofi's getting the rocket strapped to him, apparently. Can't say it's a bad move, let's see how far they go with it.
The Undertaker defeated Chris Jericho and The Big Show in a Triple Threat match to retain the World Heavyweight Championship (Taker submitted Show, Hell's Gate)
So the possibility of a Batista-Undertaker TLC match now exists. Flee! Flee for your lives!
Team Mickie (Mickie James, Melina, Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, Eve Torres) defeated Team McCool (Michelle McCool, Layla, Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall)
1. Kelly Kelly pinned Layla (split legdrop)
2. Michelle McCool pinned Gail Kim (stolen AJ Styles finisher)
3. Eve pinned Jillian Hall (top-rope Sunset Flip)
4. Beth Phoenix pinned Eve (Glam Slam)
5. Beth Phoenix pinned Kelly (Glam Slam)
6. Mickie pinned Beth Phoenix (Crucifix roll-up)
7. Mickie pinned Alicia Fox (top-rope Thesz Press)
8. Melina pinned McCool (Code Red)
Survivors: Melina, Mickie James
I'm not sure how this helps Mickie against McCool, by having Melina get the final pin, but whatever. A sure sign this match wasn't a great idea is that most of Lansdell's play-by-play is a single sentence between each pin.
John Cena defeated Triple H and Shawn Michaels in a Triple Threat match to retain the WWE Championship (Cena pinned HHH, Sweet Chin Music)
Any guesses on how much the Turning Point Triple Threat influenced this one to be just a straight wrestling match instead of going with all that potential garbage and angles substituting for action? I doubt anyone's going to say it was as good or better, but it was a perfectly serviceable main event style match. Of course, there's the issue that these are the same people in the main event as always, but hey, at least it had Shawn Michaels this time.
Buddy?
Quiet, You Fool! Batista Might Come Back!
Tonight's Host: I Bet He Misses That Hair Every Day
Tonight, in the wake of Survivor Series, it's a very special Thanksgiving episode of Raw, expanded to three hours in length and starting an hour earlier than usual, so check your TiVos! A note for the far more important Canadian wrestling fans, we'll be getting Raw at the usual 9:15 time, running until after midnight, with the replay occurring immediately after.
And last night, John Cena emerged from Survivor Series with the WWE Title in hand, despite the combined threat of both members of D-Generation X. With another PPV already on the horizon, will there be another new challenger to Cena's title? And how will Shawn Michael's match-determining Superkick to Triple H affect the relationship between the two current best friends who, lest we forget, have a fairly tumultuous past?
Meanwhile, Randy Orton can't quite seem to figure out Kofi Kingston, as he was once again thwarted from enacting his revenge against the brash young Superstar, who escaped from his Survivor Series match as the sole survivor against Orton's team, pinning Orton himself to end the match. With frustration surely building, what will the Legend Killer have in store for Kingston tonight?
Plus, the Celtic Warrior Sheamus has threatened to bring competition to the rest of the Raw roster if they won't bring it to him voluntarily. Who will be the next to face the Irishman's wrath?
And as a special treat for people who can't work the remote control, WWE Films will present the first released trailer for their upcoming release The Marine 2, starring Ted Dibiase. I wonder if that'll play into any storylines or not.
Kayfabe Is Dead?
For people who doubt that Hulk Hogan is pretty much the only guy who the mainstream recognizes as a pro wrestler, the following segment actually made legitimate news programs. Well, Fox, but it still technically counts.
Hey, you think Hogan decided to blade so nobody would notice that most of his remaining hair is actually attached to his bandanna?
And, just to tweak all the TNA fans, doesn't it feel like there should be a big banner behind that whole group of wrestlers saying "Coming Soon to TNA"? And I'd make a joke about Brian Knobbs looking like he ate Jerry Saggs, but they're both there, so I guess they're old and fat.
Planet 51
Lost in the cavalcade of movies that anger and insult me as an intelligent human being, The Rock once again hit the Top Ten list at the box office, with the animated feature Planet 51, featuring Dwayne "Not The Rock" Johnson voicing the main character, making it to #4 overall. And, in even better news, thanks to the absolute lack of standards in the Academy Awards "Best Animated Feature" category, the movie is already on the list of potential nominations. Have you seen that list? How much must an animated movie suck not to make it? I'm pretty sure one was just a Flash animation that got posted to YouTube and linked through Fark. Do people still use Fark? Not important. What is important is that The Rock might once again be returning to WWE, this time as a guest host for Raw. Can we request a five-minute verbal bitchslapping of Michael Cole already, or should we wait until the official announcement?
People Who Won't Sell Shane's Air Punches
A minor buzz was generated this week as Shane McMahon reportedly met with UFC promoter Dana White, aka "Vince McMahon without the ability to back it up in a fight". Of course, the rumours have run rampant that Shane may be interested in working with UFC in some form.
Of course, those wrestling fans still left from the 90's might recall that Shane has a good feel for popular trends, as he has been credited with being the driving force behind forcing Vince to move away from the New Generation direction and towards some of the ideals of ECW, which of course led to Attitude and WWE making a billion dollars. Not that UFC is really a big secret anymore, but if Shane is so interested in becoming a part of it, one wonders how much of his departure from WWE had to do with frustration over no one listening to his well-known desire to incorporate more MMA-related themes into WWE. I'm not entirely sure how that would work, but UFC is making money hand over fist while WWE watches PPV revenues drop on a quarterly basis, so there has to be something worth stealing.
Of course, Shane could also have gone insane and now believes that since every WWE Superstar he faced has had to sell his ridiculous dancing punches, he could actually take on Anderson Silva, and let's face it, you'd pay to watch that match. All ten seconds of it.
Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together!
Well, metaphorically, anyway. Poor analogies aside, great news for fans of How I Met Your Mother, and if you're not a fan, what the hell is wrong with you? It has NPH! That's all you need to know! Anyway, former WWE Diva Stacy Keibler is set to guest-star on an upcoming episode of the show, and really, if you needed another reason to watch the damned show, that's probably a pretty good one. I'm not entirely sure what this has to do with wrestling, but I saw "Stacy Keibler" and "How I Met Your Mother" and lost all sense of reason or common sense. Now all I do is run around telling people to "Suit Up" and claiming that everything is Legen…wait for it…
WrestleMania North
dary!
Legendary like the latest news that WrestleMania 27's location looks to be the Rogers Center (improperly labelled SkyDome by everyone who doesn't pay attention to Canadian business dealings or sports teams. Seriously, guys, shape up.) in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. This will be the third time that WrestleMania has been held in the badly aging gray building just off Lakeshore Boulevard, and this time I a) am old enough to go without parental approval (WrestleMania 6 denied!) and b) have enough money to afford tickets (adios WrestleMania X-8). So, everyone, I already called dibs on ringside seats. If everybody takes them before I get a chance, you will all be in violation of the long-existing rules of calling dibs, and I will be permitted to bash you in the head with a steel folding chair. Seriously, it's on Wikipedia (no it isn't).
Of course, this could all be jumping at shadows, because unless I'm mistaken, I recall Toronto being called a "frontrunner" for both WrestleMania 24 and 26, and I'm pretty sure we didn't get either of those. But still, remember, steel folding chair. I have it right here.
Inactive List as of 11.16.09
WWE Raw
- Maryse, out indefinitely as of July 28th (knee surgery)
WWE SmackDown
- Edge, out indefinitely as of July 4th (torn Achilles tendon)
- Jim Ross, out indefinitely as of October 20th (Bell's Palsy)
- The Great Khali, out indefinitely as of September 15th (knee surgery)
ECW
- No reported injuries
TNA
- Jeff Jarrett, out indefinitely as of July 21st (self-imposed suspension)
Transactions
- Katie Lea Burchill, ECW, must leave ECW per match stipulation
- Paul Burchill, ECW, must leave ECW per match stipulation
- Rey Mysterio, SD!, out indefinitely as of November 22nd (knee surgery)
- Sojo Bolt, TNA, released from her contract
WWE
WWE Champion: John Cena
- 29 day reign, defeated Randy Orton in an "Anything Goes" Iron Man Match on October 25th (Bragging Rights PPV)
World Heavyweight Champion: The Undertaker
- 50 day reign, defeated CM Punk in a Hell in a Cell Match on October 4th (Hell in a Cell PPV)
ECW Champion: Christian
- 120 day reign, defeated Tommy Dreamer on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
WWE Intercontinental Champion: John Morrison
- 80 day reign, defeated Rey Mysterio on September 4th (Smackdown)
WWE United States Champion: The Miz
- 49 day reign, defeated Kofi Kingston on October 5th (Raw)
WWE Undisputed Tag Team Champions: Chris Jericho and The Big Show
- 120 day reign (as team of Chris Jericho and Big Show), The Big Show named as replacement for former champion Edge on July 26th (Night of Champions PPV)
- 28 day reign (as team of Chris Jericho and Edge), defeated former champions The Colons and Legacy in a Triple Threat Match on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
WWE Women's Champion: Michelle McCool
- 148 day reign, defeated Melina on June 28th (The Bash PPV)
WWE Diva's Champion: Melina
- 42 day reign, defeated Jillian Hall on October 12th (Raw)
TNA
TNA Heavyweight Champion: AJ Styles
- 64 day reign, defeated former champion Kurt Angle, Matt Morgan, Hernandez, and Sting in a Five-Way Match on September 20th (No Surrender PPV)
TNA Tag Team Champions: The British Invasion
- 36 day reign, defeated Beer Money, Inc., Team 3D, and former champions Booker T & Scott Steiner in a Full Metal Mayhem match on October 18th (Bound For Glory PPV)
TNA X-Division Champion: Amazing Red
- 46 day reign, defeated Samoa Joe on October 8th (Impact)
TNA Knockouts Champion: ODB
- 99 day reign, with Cody Deaner, defeated former champion Angelina Love and Velvet Sky in a tag match on August 16th (Hard Justice PPV)
TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Taylor Wilde and Sarita
- 64 day reign, defeated The Beautiful People (Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne) to win the newly created title on September 20th (No Surrender PPV)
TNA Global Champion: Eric Young
- 36 day reign, defeated former champion Kevin Nash and Hernandez in a Triple Threat match on October 18th (Bound For Glory PPV)
And Thomas has Monday's edition of the Wrestling 4R's.
411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 8 pm EST.
Remember, if you love poker, and are in the Kitchener-Cambridge-Waterloo area, check out Player's Poker League.
And for the drunken ramblings of Sean Carless and his merry band of reprobates, check out The Wrestling Fan.
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That's our show, Small is possibly in tomorrow, although I'd rather see Slimmer, since he actually got me an anniversary gift (hint, hint), I'll be back next week.
I was at Survivor Series in DC. Few quick notes on your review:
I agree with your Kofi take. The crowd loves him, so let's see where this all goes.
I am sure WWE couldn't care less about TNA's 3 way match. Cena-HBK-HHH had a big time feel and it was awesome.
P.S. I saw on some online reviews that a fan threw a DX glowstick back at HHH during their entrance. Unfortunately, that is not true. It hit a lighting beam above the ring, and came flying back towards him.
Posted By: Joey (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 02:34 AM
Happy fake ass thanksgiving from a fellow important Canadian fan.
WMXX7-Huzzah!
Posted By: ASK HIM! (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 04:09 AM
Fox news is as much a credible news source as CNN, MSNBC and any of the other major news outlets. They actually ask the questions that none of the others will ask. Actually, they have the highest ratings out of any news outlet on tv, but they don't kiss the Presidents ass so they aren't considered a "legitimate news program". I promise you, just because the President and his staff say something, it isn't automatically the gospel.
Posted By: Bamahog (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Dana White, aka "Vince McMahon without the ability to back it up in a fight".
Um...dude...Dana would kill Vince in a fight. The dude's been legit training in MMA for years...Vince has learned to bump and do a stunner...and that's about it.
Dana wins via TKO (ref stoppage) in Rd 2, only cause I think Vince may have a stronger chin than his dimple gives him credit for.
And last night's main event was brilliant. Despite it still being the same old shit, it still felt fresh and had some GREAT sequences (kick WHAM superkick to start, the AWESOME finishing sequence with the cross-pollinated finisher buffet, Cena playing the heel, etc.). Turning Point's 3-way, while extremely good, felt like the same match we've always seen Joe/Daniels/AJ have...not that that's a bad thing.
I was waiting for Big Dave to powerbomb Rey until he exploded...alas...
Posted By: Ramsey (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 09:39 AM
Looking at the "who's holding gold" list, and I see that every current title holder will have been holding their belt more than a month (assuming Cena doesn't lose it tonight).
I'm wondering when was the last time that was true - guessing it has to be more than a year, maybe even two years.
Posted By: SpankyHamm (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 09:52 AM
Saw both Turning Point and Survivor Series. While the final two matches of Turning Point were better than any of the matches on SS. I thought SS, as a whole, was much better than Turning Point.
2 strong PPVs by the "Big 2" this month. Good time to be a fan!
Posted By: Big Fat Fag (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 10:05 AM
FYI...only Rogers employees refer to it as the Rogers center. Toronto residents still refer to it as Skydome. So why dont you shape up?????
Posted By: Guest#5733 (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 10:28 AM
randle. this will make you cry, but it's the truth, and you need to know...NPH is...GAY. NO HE REALLY IS. also
Fox news is as much a credible news source as MSNBC and any of the other major news outlets. They actually ask the questions that none of the others will ask. Actually, they have the highest ratings out of any news outlet on tv, but they don't kiss the Presidents ass so they aren't considered a "legitimate news program". I promise you, just because the President and his staff say something, it isn't automatically the gospel.
Posted By: Bamahog (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 11:52 AM
thank god someone else knows.
Posted By: james T. (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 01:05 PM
Can we get someone to review the wrestling world that actually, I don't know, WATCHES the product they are talking about?
Posted By: Just a Thought... (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 01:35 PM
P.S. I saw on some online reviews that a fan threw a DX glowstick back at HHH during their entrance. Unfortunately, that is not true. It hit a lighting beam above the ring, and came flying back towards him.
Posted By: Joey (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 02:34 AM
This is correct. I was there also. It bounced off the lights and flew back towards him. He also threw his hat but it didn't make it in the crowd and he just started laughing and threw his hands up in the air.
Posted By: Kevin (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 01:42 PM
If Rock takes a big portion of guest-hosting duties to humiliate the never-improving, always-annoying, yet still-employed Michael Cole, I may have to start supporting him even against Cena!
And for acknowledging the brilliance of How I Met Your Mother and NPH, you win Mr. Randle. Kudos! Happy Slapsgiving to you and yours.
(BTW: Who the F cares if NPH is gay? That's what makes his performance on the show - as a take-no-prisoners ladies man - that much more impressive! Do you find Charlie Sheen - ladies man - any more believable?)
Posted By: Brad B (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 01:53 PM
Fox news is as much a credible news source as CNN, MSNBC and any of the other major news outlets. They actually ask the questions that none of the others will ask. Actually, they have the highest ratings out of any news outlet on tv, but they don't kiss the Presidents ass so they aren't considered a "legitimate news program". I promise you, just because the President and his staff say something, it isn't automatically the gospel.
Posted By: Bamahog (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 11:52 AM
Correction: they don't kiss THIS President's ass. Watch archives from two years ago and it's a vastly different story. It's a Republican network, just as MSNBC is a Democrat network. This is not news to anyone.
Posted By: neverAcquiesce (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 02:40 PM
Calling it now - sheamus and findlay to the point of sheamus forcing findlay into retirement, turning findlay heel to return as sheamus's mentor/manager - wont happen but would be cool and could work - by the way, comment about everyone fleeing from batista and undertaker TLC was hilarious
Posted By: Oakie (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 08:35 PM
Dana White eats Green Berets for breakfast.
Posted By: MBD (Guest) on November 23, 2009 at 10:09 PM
Kayfabe Is Dead?
Planet 51
People Who Won't Sell Shane's Air Punches
Two Great Tastes That Taste Great Together!
WrestleMania North
