News From Cook's Corner 11.25.09

Posted by Steve Cook on 11.25.2009

Be thankful that illnesses can't be transmitted through wrestling columns...though I'm sure somebody's working on it.

Hi, hello and welcome to News From Cook's Corner! I'm Steve Cook, and I'm here to lead you into the biggest travel day and bar night of the year! And is there a better way to start such a day than talking about the latest news in the wide world of professional wrestling? I can think of none. I hope all of my intelligent American wrestling fans have a great Thanksgiving weekend, and for the rest of you…well, y'all keep on keeping on and know that you have plenty of things to be thankful for as well.

For example, you can be thankful for the return of the Penguin! He's got a Survivor Series recap for you fine folks...since I'm the only one on staff too cheap to buy the PPVs or doesn't have a computer good enough to steal it off some illegal site, I need somebody to cover it. So I am thankful to have the Penguin as the Corner's new Pay Per View Correspondent.

Oakland Raider fans should be especially thankful for that victory my Bengals gift-wrapped for them on Sunday. Oh well, we're still in first place. And no matter what happens, we'll always have this…



Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. That feels better.

You know what doesn't feel better? My throat…there's nothing better than getting sick just before a holiday weekend. I probably won't even be able to partake in this big bar night thing I spoke of…then again, that might be for the best as far as my brain cells are concerned. I'm still recovering from a Megadeth concert, football losses and three Louisville basketball games in three days. Good thing I get a four day weekend starting about 16 hours after this column gets posted. So let's see if we can find some news worth talking about…



Yup, I'm not exactly heading into this 100%. But that's what us made guys do, we fight through the pain and give you readers whatever we can. I don't know when they promoted me in the 411 Family, but that was pretty cool to see a couple of days ago when I decided I wanted to change a couple of things in my profile. Considering everybody above me on the page has done some editing work for the site, or managed the Forums, or been here since the dawn of time, it is quite the vote of confidence.

And now I've got a strong case of the hiccups. I don't know if you guys have ever tried to type out long essays or papers or columns or what have you while hiccupping before, but it's very distracting. You're just sitting there waiting for the next hiccup to come, and just when you think it's passed…there it is!

Great, my body is breaking down on me. I feel worse than Geoff Eubanks after a night at The Abbey. Let's get on with it.



Sometimes a topic of discussion takes on a life of its own that lasts far longer than one would expect. Back in July, I overhead some discussion that Mickie James' weight was an issue within WWE, and mentioned it in an edition of Fact or Fiction. I figured I was done with the topic after addressing it again in an edition of 411Mania's Saturday Morning's Main Event…as it turned out, not many people knew what I was talking about, or were willing to listen to an argument that people might think Mickie James is fat.

My, how times have changed. Now it seems that I can't go a day without reading some newsbite about Mickie's weight, Piggy James, or reading people debating on whether or not she is fat or not. I'd say that if you have to debate if somebody is fat or not, they probably aren't really fat. I mean, nobody's debating if Kansas football coach Mark Mangino is fat or not…



Yeah…he fat.

But when you think about it, fatness is relative, and it matters more in certain occupations than others. Mickie James is a WWE Diva. A large part of her job is to look attractive, and what's attractive to most of us dudes is skinny chicks. I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying it's wrong, but I will admit that I'm guilty of it myself. I can already hear Mickie's defenders saying that isn't right, and a claim they often like to make is that Mickie's haters aren't all that attractive so who cares what they think…unless I'm horribly mistaken, most people responding to wrestling columns aren't making a living based off of their looks. No offense guys, but I'd guess most of my audience isn't made up of male models. That doesn't matter because they don't get paid to be attractive. Mickie does.

Listen, I'm not saying she's fat. By my standards and the standards of most rational thinking people out there, Mickie James is an attractive woman. I think the backlash against Mickie in recent months is about more than just perceived fatness…there's also been a realization by many Internet wrestling fans that Mickie's not as good a wrestler as they thought she was, and she's not getting any better.

I think she got cut a lot of slack by people on the wrestling front for one simple reason…she was an indy wrestler. Unlike the vast majority of Divas, Mickie James spent years in the indies honing her craft and wasn't discovered at a fitness pageant or in a swimsuit calendar. She worked her way up to the biggest wrestling promotion in the world, and people loved her for it. Why not? Eventually, once all the more experienced Divas left and Mickie was the one people had to rely on for good matches…the good matches weren't there. For whatever reason, her matches generally aren't as good as they used to be…my guess would be the talent she's in the ring with. Wrestling with Trish Stratus & Victoria is one thing, wrestling with Maryse & Melina is another. It's easier to look good with somebody that's better than you, but when you're expected to carry the load it might not work out so well.

To sum up my opinion…Mickie's not as good a wrestler as she used to be, and she was always a bit overrated on the Internet as far as her wrestling ability went. She's not fat, and personally I'm not the kind of person to bash women for that sort of thing but there's always going to be people out there that will do that. You can ignore them or get all bent out of shape about it…the choice is up to you.

While we're on the topic of people who were in ROH in 2002, WWE was very impressed by the Briscoe Brothers during their tryout last week. The Briscoes are still under contract with ROH, but considering that this tryout even happened I'd be shocked if that ended up being much of a factor once the contract expires. The Briscoes would be a huge loss for ROH, and if WWE decided they wanted to be serious with this tag team division thing they'd be a pretty good gain for WWE.

Rey Mysterio will be having surgery on his damaged ACL, but apparently it's a "less invasive" procedure that will have him back in weeks instead of the 6-9 months that these injuries typically take to recover from. While it's nice that Rey won't be gone for too long from a wrestling fan perspective, it's pretty crappy to realize that thanks to not taking enough time off to recover and having quick fix surgeries instead of really repairing the problem, Rey Mysterio will be in a wheelchair by the time he's 50. I can see why he'd want to rush the return…he makes a lot more money when he's wrestling than when he's not. But you have to wonder at what point does one value their physical health over another paycheck.

At the end of the day, it's his choice. Let's hope he's making the right one.

This year's Tribute to the Troops will be taped next week in the Middle East and will air on December 19 as a one hour special on NBC at 9:00. I don't usually care about ratings, but I hope this one gets a better rating than the Jay Leno Show. Come on, it can't be that hard!

In case you were wondering where that lovable scamp Hornswoggle was this week, he's selling Triple H's Pedigree and should be out of action for a couple of weeks. I'm not entirely sure what "action" consists of for Hornswoggle, but whatever it is he's out of it.

Lauren Mayhew has apparently been released by WWE. Apparently when I said I was the only one who liked her ring announcing style…I was right.

If you thought Dolph Ziggler's singles push had stalled, you were right. At one point WWE wanted Ziggler to take the Intercontinental title from Rey Mysterio, but Rey put the kibosh on it and wanted to drop the belt to John Morrison instead. The phrase being thrown about in articles is that WWE has "given up on him", which I think would be jumping to conclusions a little too quickly. I'm not as high on Ziggler as other members of this Internet wrestling community are, but he's worked his way up through developmental, survived the Spirit Squad experience, made the best of a really bad name and actually managed to get somewhat over with the people in spite of it. He might not be ready for big things quite yet, but he has the potential to get there. WWE would be foolish to give up on him at this point in the game.

And in Great Khali news, the Punjabi Playboy stopped by an Indian jail to visit with some younger prisoners and attempt to inspire them to do good things with the rest of their lives. "Take the right path whenever you go out of the jail. Always think about your parents and don't indulge in anything that can ruin your future." Khali said to the prisoners. It's too bad this article wasn't posted yesterday, Jeff Small could have written five thousand words on how awesome of a guy the Great Khali is.



There was not a whole heck of a lot of TNA news this week…the most interesting thing I saw was a Hulk Hogan interview, which is always entertaining reading. I think the best part was either when he said that he challenged Steve Austin face to face and Austin just walked away, or when he bashed wrestling writers for having never been in the ring and having no idea how to do a wrestling show. Actually, I think his comments about writers have swung a good percentage of public opinion in his favor.

Hogan does say some good things, like listening to the fans and giving the wrestlers the freedom to do what they want with their characters and either succeed or fail based on their own merits. Whether he's just blowing hot air or not will be proven whenever he finally shows up to TNA and starts implementing some of his ideas. Until then, it's all purely speculation.

I've noticed some outrage over Hogan referring to AJ Styles as "a young kid working his way up the ranks". Some feel this is disrespectful to the thirty-one year old Phenomenal One who's been wrestling for eleven years now. I say it's not because old people think everybody under the age of forty is young. It's true, go ask your grandparents and they'll confirm it. Besides, to Hogan eleven years is a drip in the bucket.

And looking at AJ, I'd say he wasn't a day over twenty-six if I didn't know better. Guy looks good for his age.

Chris Sabin tweaked his neck at the last TV tapings and was unable to make PWG's Battle of Los Angeles last weekend. We certainly hope Sabin pulls through this, as neck issues are no picnic. Unless you're Yogi Bear, in which case everything is a picnic. It is unknown what effect Sabin's injury had on the booking of the BOLA, and if Kenny Omega would have won had Sabin been able to show up.



Yesterday Pro Wrestling Unscripted, one of many Northeast independent wrestling promotions, announced via press release that they were going to be appearing on the Versus network starting in January 2010, and would be holding their first TV taping on January 9 at the Pennsylvania Convention Center. Sounds all well and good, right? I'm all for having more pro wrestling on my television, and Versus had been rumored to be interested in showing Ring of Honor programming in the past, so why wouldn't they give the hookup to another group?

Even if it was a group that generally isn't considered trustworthy and has a sketchy at best quality of product.

Well, there were two problems with PWU's announcement. For one thing, Versus won't be airing their programming. Their senior publicist said there was no truth to the statement and that Versus would not be airing their programming. Another problem…the Pennsylvania Convention Center has nothing wrestling-related scheduled for January 9.

On the bright side, nothing about PWU's soon to open "Backseat Academy of Pro Wrestling" has been refuted yet. But if I was an aspiring wrestler I don't think I'd be sending those guys my money anytime soon.

Pro Wrestling Guerrilla has announced Jushin "Thunder" Liger vs. El Generico for their show in LA on January 30. I mention this mostly because of the show name, which is "Kurt RussellMania" and easily ranks in the top five show names of all time.

Former WWE wrestler/manager Armando Alejandro Estrada has announced his retirement from pro wrestling and is pursuing a career in the restaurant business. Best of luck to Armando…hopefully Umaga will stop by once in awhile and eat enough to pay the bills. Oddly enough, Armando's reataurant is in Glendale, Arizona, where WrestleMania 26 will be held. Methinks a cameo appearance might be likely, if WWE & Armando are on good terms.



The Rs were highlighted by Wilcox hating him some Impact. I dunno, I recapped the show for 411 and thought it was a pretty decent show highlighted by a darn good main event. But the great thing about the Internet is that you can find all sorts of people with all sorts of different opinions.

The Contentious Ten looks at the best fictional wrestlers of all time. Pretty good list, but I would have included Captain Insaneo from The Waterboy…if nothing else he certainly had an awesome name. And The Waterboy is an awesome movie.

Ari talks about how the indy scene is expensive to follow these days. He doesn't mention my appearance on the "The Final Countdown: Dayton " DVD, which I'll assume is an oversight.

I want some of whatever Chambers is on. It's gotta be some good stuff.

Byers says goodbye to HUSTLE.

Our AJ Grey post of the week features Lori Loughlin, who is probably still the hottest woman from Full House depending on how much you like the Olsen Twins. Me, I'd go with Becky.



Posted by Voodoo Penguin

Hello readers! I'll be back with the Book Club soon, but as a special treat (read: Cook spends all his money on booze so he doesn't order pay per views), I'm here this week to run down this past weeks Survivor Series Pay Per View.

There's countless places on 411mania to find out the play by play and who eliminated who and what not. This isn't one of those. This is a look at how entertained I was by the matches. Nothing more and Nothing less.

Survivor Series 2009

Team Miz vs Team Morrison

This was a great way to start the show, but it was also the expected way. I really liked the way this match flowed together and Sheamus came out looking like a million bucks. People have compared his push to the Umaga push, but I'm hoping they are wrong and they actually wrote the destination for Sheamus before they wrote the journey. Either way this was a solid match that reminded me of traditional Survivor Series matches of old. Consider me entertained.

Batista vs Rey Mysterio

Batista channeled his incredible Hulk. You see, it wasn't about the match for Batista. It was about hurting Rey. You know this because Batista didn't go for the pin at all. As was said like 40 times. I had no true problem with what they did hear, but at the same time it was the standard "big guy smash Rey Rey" type deal we've seen since he made his major American debut. Add to the fact that the crowd was just BEGGING for Batista to kill him, and the whole thing didn't come off very well. Can't say I was that entertained by this one.

Team Kofi vs Team Orton

Team Orton was awesome in this match. They constantly worked together to skirt the rules and overcome the stupid faces. Evil will always win because good is dumb. On the other side, Christian was able to hang in against the evil heels, picking up pins on both members of legacy, and looking like the star he's supposed to look like in the process. Kofi Kingston is the one who came away looking the best though. He picked up pins on both CM Punk and Randy Orton in like six seconds, to pick up the win, become the sole survivor, get a huge pop, and put the end on a very well done match. I was VERY entertained watching this.

Y2J vs. Undertaker vs. Big Show

Take a formula 2 bad guy 1 good guy three man match. Then take a standard Undertaker match, and standard Big Show match and a standard Jericho match and combine all that together. That's exactly what this was. They did nothing wrong, but they did nothing as a whole to reach out and grab my attention. Two things did catch my eye though: One, Big Show looks like he's HURTING. Seriously bad. Two: Watching Jericho draw heel heat is like watching an artist paint a masterpiece. He really is the best in the world at what he does. For his performance and for nothing being truly wrong, this match mildly entertained me.

Team Chick vs. Team Chick.

I made a snack and refreshed my drink. All I saw was Beth Pheonix kill bitches dead. That's a good thing in my book. Plus my snack was good. So consider me entertained, though not necessarily by the match.

HHH vs HBK vs John Cena

Why must everyone always say "Though not as good as the TNA three man match…" before calling this a great match? That's a bunch of crap to me. I take nothing away from the work that Joe, AJ and Daniels put in, but this match stands on it's own as a FANTASTIC match. They worked the three man to perfection and were able to put on what was essentially a spotfest that didn't drag like most spot fests. There were believable near falls, unexpected twists, and a true story to the pace of the match. Bravo to three of the best in the business right now. Consider me VERY entertained, and seek this match out if you haven't seen it. It's a great demonstration of the three man concept.

On the whole this was a very entertaining show, that only is lacking in memorable moments. Perhaps we look back on this show as Kofi and Sheamus' coming out party. We won't know that til the future. For now, it's certainly a fun watch the first couple of times through, and the main event seems like one of those matches that will stand the test of time. This gets two flippers up!

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Thanks Penguin! You can read more from our favorite flightless bird at the 411 Forums!

Well, that's all we have time for this week…I'm going to go lie down and hope I'm well by Thursday. Thanks for reading, and until next time…WHODEY!