The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 11.27.09

Posted by John Meehan on 11.27.2009

Thanksgiving leftovers, and a heckuva lot for Mee to be thankful for....

Happy Thanksgiving, all. And thanks for tuning in for the regularly scheduled week-end wrap-up of all things professional wrestling-related. As always, I'm here to shine a positive light on some of the more critically assailed stories of the week. And wherever possible, I try to find the positive side in even the bleakest of news items (wherever possible).

A quick note before we get started, however --

This week while headed home to New Jersey to visit my family for the Thanksgiving holiday, I was involved in a pretty serious car accident. Minus a few scrapes and bruises here and there, I managed to walk away from the mess relatively unscathed. The wheels, however, are another story altogether. Regardless -- I appreciate your readership, and I most certainly have a LOT to be thankful for in this holiday season.

Unfortunately, my attention has been (understandably) diverted elsewhere than wrestling this week (which is a real shame too, since I was there LIVE in attendance at last week's Survivor Series pay-per-view, and had every intention of writing up a complete report of the event accordingly) -- and so this week's column is pretty much relegated to whatever content I was able to cobble together prior to Wednesday night's accident.

Anyhow --

Thanks in advance for understanding, and my apologies if this week's report seems a bit on the scattershot and unfocused side of the spectrum (I usually manage to iron out these sorts of things on Thursdays).

In the mean time --

Enjoy the column. And have a *SAFE* and happy holiday weekend wherever you are.

The SELL of the week goes to Triple H, who took a superkick right in the jaw and proceeded to lay "unconscious" as the result of the surprise attack on the outside of the ring for the better part of (yes) FIVE WHOLE MINUTES. While I'd normally dismiss something like this as a cartoonish oversell, I can't help but give the guy props for eating his partner's finisher cleanly and going over and beyond the call of duty to make it look all the more devastating simply by sheer virture of its "shock value." In an era of WWE's TV-PG, "shock value" is actually pretty hard to come by, and speaking from a fan who was in live attendance at the Survivor Series, the arena went absolutely wild when Triple H ate a clean Sweet Chin Music right in the mouth and spent five whole minutes collecting himself to hammer home the impact of the move.

The TELL of the week goes to John Cena, whose otherwise impressive Monday Night RAW showdown against CM Punk was noticably hampered from the moment that the WWE Champion attempted to whip the Straightedge Superstar from one ringpost to another and then administer a drop toehold. Why's that? Because Cena called his spot WAAAY too loudly, and so anyone with a TiVo remote (or a volume level higher than 4) could hear The Doctor Of Thuganomics telling the "arch enemy" that he was supposed to be "wrestling" that a drop toehold was immediately to follow. Sorry Johnny, but you've gotta' do a better job of hiding this kind of thing.

*Bonus TELL of the week goes to Shelton Benjamin, who made a similar gaffe in his bout against Zack Ryder while calling out a hangman spot. Normally a mistake of this magnitude would earn automatic Tell of the Week dishonors -- but it's hard to hold an ECW performer to the same standard as a RAW main-eventer.



Maryse - Former WWE Women's Champion Maryse made her surprise return to World Wrestling Entertainment this week, when she unveiled herself as the performer beneath the famed Gobbledy Gooker costume in a sneak-attack ambush on current WWE Divas' Champion Melina.

Alex Reynolds - local performer Alex Reynolds made a one-off appearance on this week's ECW on SyFy broadcast, where he was quickly dispatched by the Land of Extreme's newest star on the rise in Vance Archer, who continues to dominate unsigned talent in one-sided affairs. Reynolds is not believed to have signed a long-term WWE contract at this time.




None - In a welcome development, there are no wrestler obituaries, contract terminations, or retirements to announce in this week's news report.



The Big Show - Former heavyweight champion The Big Show is scheduled to miss several weeks worth of action as the result of a knee injury. This explain's Show's absence from Monday Night RAW, as well as his submission defeat at the hands of The Undertaker at this past Sunday night's Survivor Series PPV. Big Show's injury is not expected to put him on the shelf for a prolonged period of time, but it could limit his onscreen activity for several weeks.



In this segment, I'll be firing off a handful of micro-commentaries at some of the industry's biggest stars and stories. Where appropriate, I'll even try incorporating some one-liners from the week that was in the 411 wrestling zone's comments section.

For those of y'all who aren't familiar with Twitter-style posting, the format is simple:

@Recipient's Name - 140 character message goes here. #MessageTopic

And before you ask: No, these aren't actual tweets.

FAKE TWEETS OF THE WEEK

@Traci Brooks - Sorry about the arm injury. But I think your job is safe: Hulkster has a thing for crippled sidekicks. #ZackGowan

@Molly Holly - Good news: you're officially no longer the "fattest non-fatty" in the WWE Universe. #PiggieJames

@Washington DC - How dare you boo CM Punk -- the guy's won more times this year than the Redskins. #Truth

@R Truth - Washington D.C... "What's Up!?" #JimZornsTenureAsHeadCoach

@WWE Divas Elimination Match - You can go ahead and finish now. We're all back from the restrooms. #Terrible

@dX - Honest question -- which of you has betrayed *more* partners? #ReadersPleaseCommentBelow

@Gangrel - Might wanna buy yourself some body glitter. I hear sparkly vampires are all the rage these days. #Twilight

@That Asshole Who Slammed on His Breaks In Front of Me and Caused a Three-Car Pileup - So *THAT*s what it feels like to feel the gore, gore, GORE. #FullBodyBruise #FML

@Maryse - Didn't think watching a Playboy centerfold disrobe could be so boring. But well, here we are. #GobbledyGooker

@Cody Rhodes @Ted DiBiase @Dolph Ziggler @Jack Swagger - Sheamus, Miz, McIntyre and Kofi are thankful for your pushes. #Thanksgiving



Ooh... speaking of Twitter:

Follow Mee on Twitter

http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
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http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma






None - Once again -- and perhaps in light of the Thanksgiving holiday -- employees and employers alike have been on their best behavior over the past seven days. Touring schedules and backstage tensions traditionally tend to lighten up over this time of the year, but the usual tensions will almost assuredly resume once both rosters hit the road with their regular touring schedule starting on Monday night.




*Due to circumstances (quite literally!) beyond my control, no data is available for this week's head-to-head RAW vs. MNF showdown at this time. No worries, though -- and this section will resume as scheduled in next Friday's column.



Internet Wrestling Fans Continue to Complain
Despite New Stars, Same Old Arguments Subsist from the Internet Wrestling Community

*(An open letter to the kind folks who always find something to complain about. Like ending a sentence with a preposition, for example. Yup -- that's who I'm talking to.)

(See what I did there? Twice, actually.)

Dear Morons Anonymous Internet Wrestling Critics,

Thanks for reading 411mania.com, and an extra special thanks for posting your insightful comments below so many of our breaking stories and daily news reports. Your continued readership is valuable to our site and our efforts, and we really appreciate your support!

One small thing, however --

It's come to my attention that a vocal minority of you often find fault in just about EVERYTHING that airs each week on one particular wrestling broadcast or another. And while we most certainly appreciate your spirited discussion, I just can't help but notice that some of you seem to find something new and different to complain about with each new broadcast EACH AND EVERY SINGLE WEEK. Sheamus' sudden arrival in the main event picture in World Wrestling Entertainment is just the latest in a long line of examples. But perhaps this is to be expected -- after all, "foodies" (the types who obsess over fine cuisine) often nitpick every last detail of even the best of meals, "sommeliers" (wine-tasting pros) can pinpoint even the most obscure inperfection in the finest of wines, and "film buffs" (movie nerds) seem to take particular glee in skewering continuity errors in even the most critically acclaimed and commercially successful films of all time.

In other words, I get it: "complaining about something even when it's passable or (gasp!) GOOD somehow makes you (the critic) look even BETTER by comparison." After all, only the most SERIOUS of fans could point out flaws that might otherwise go unnoticed to the untrained eyes of the hoi polloi, right?

Fair enough.

Now then -- the obvious line of defense from many a heated responding commentator would say "ok, Mr. Hot Shot. You think YOU could do better?" And -- true to form -- so many of these original supercritics would likewise just turn right back around and say "Don't have to. After all, I never said that *I* was a professional wrestler."

And again, fair enough.

You're not claiming to be better than them at the actual professional wrestling or entertainment business. You're merely claiming to be a fan -- and an INFORMED one, at that (after all, those lunkhead performers in spandex before you are really no more than gelatinous mesomorphs, am I right?). You needn't actually set foot in the ring to put on a show of superior athletic or dramatic ability -- you're simply asking the performers "brawn" to hold up their end of the bargain and not insult your "brains" as a wrestling fan.

"Let the muscle-bound lunkheads do the heavy lifting. For THAT is their job, after all."

And for a final time, "fair enough" I say.

But insofar as it is the PROFESSIONAL WRESTLERS' "job" (as an entertainer) to use their brawn to entertain you with their athleticism and storytelling ability, it is YOUR job (read: *OUR* jobs) as fans to use our brains and provide them with constructive, well-reasoned feedback so that they may continue to improve along the way.

In other words: "Entertainers are expected to be good at entertaining, and critics are expected to be good at critique."

But if that's the case --

When honing YOUR art of critique (even via mediums as small and inconsequential as internet message boards or column-ending feedback forms):

Spell things properly.

Captitalize where appropriate. Use complete sentences. Master the fine art of punctuation. And learn how to make a coherent argument.

Failing that, your "critique" is no more valuable or worthwhile than even the sloppiest of in-ring or onscreen performances. In fact, it's actually all that much worse.

Warmest regards,

- Meehan

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Sheamus Arrives as Number One Contender to WWE Championship
Irishman's Sudden Momentum Draws Wrestling Fans' Ire

Quick history lesson for you:

Two months ago...


Fun Fact: My TitanTron entrance graphic uses the "Wolverine" font face.

Ring Of Honor standout Nigel McGuinness debuted on TNA programming as "Desmond Wolfe" and was immediately vaulted to the top of the card in a high-profile feud against the company's resident big dog in Kurt Angle. Accordingly, the Wolfe/Angle feud inevitably gave way to a tremendous run of upward mobility for the former ROH Champion. And almost immediately thereafter, fans all across the web hailed TNA for their bold initiative and willingness to take chances on pushing new talent.

Keep in mind that Desmond Wolfe had never made so much as ONE televised appearance on TNA programming prior to being plugged into his program against Kurt Angle. Sure, he was kinda like a big deal in ROH -- but to the average iMPACT! viewer or Joe-ticket-buyer in the iMPACT Zone (ah who am I kidding -- those tickets are comped)? The guy was a virtual unknown.

Flash forward to this week on RAW...


Got a problem with me there, fella?

Sheamus, the red brand's latest monster heel, won one one but TWO matches in a night's time to earn himself a title shot at John Cena's WWE Championship. At the conclusion of the broadcast, Sheamus even managed to powerbomb the WWE posterboy through a table in the center of the ring -- thus reminding viewers that regardless of how well-established he may or may not yet be, a Tables Match actually levels the playing field between veteran performer and upstart superstar, as the stipulation renders it such that the bout could be won or lost in a mere blink of an eye.

Keep in mind that Sheamus had spent several months prior to his RAW debut developing serious credibility among the ECW ranks. While you're at it, kindly remember how on the previous night, Sheamus was one of three surviving members of a traditional elimination-style Survivor Series team battle. And in the three weeks prior, he has run roughshod over the smaller supporting characters of the Monday Night RAW roster -- assaulting timekeepers, laying out Hall of Fame announcers, and ending the career of one an established (if inconsequential) veteran performer along the way. And for the superfans out there -- keep in mind that Sheamus is actually a two-time International Heavyweight Champion from his tenure in Irish Whip Wrestling, and a former Florida Championship Wrestling champion to boot.

But while you're at it:

Keep in mind that a healthy chunk of wrestling fans the world over (and a good many of the same who heralded Desmond Wolfe's TNA arrival) have instantly dismissed Sheamus as an undeserving main-event also-ran.

Moral of the story?

Internet fans are a fickle bunch, and it's really no wonder why wrestling companies tend to ignore their critiques accordingly.

Let's face facts, here:

Sheamus has arrived in the WWE main event just as quickly as Desmond Wolfe has arrived in the TNA main event. Granted, Sheamus doesn't have the previous track record of success in smaller promotions or "smart" fan-following that Nigel McGuinness Desmond Wolfe has -- but from a purely onscreen perspective? Both guys are virtual unknowns who've simply come out of the gate with a bang and made a serious run toward the top of their respective roster despite an almost non-existent onscreen tenure with the company prior to their main-event arrival.

Heck, you might even argue that Sheamus was actually *MORE* well-established as a threat prior to earning his shot against John Cena than Desmond Wolfe was when he simply arrived from out of nowhere and was handed a fight with Kurt Angle.

Oh that's right...


"But Sheamus wasn't a former Ring Of Honor Champion!"

Sorry, fanboys... but: "big. freakin. deal."

Both Desmond Wolfe and Sheamus won titles in other promotions, but casual fans couldn't know (or care) less. As such, when each man arrived to their new employers with a name change and a clean slate, noth guys are just as deserving (or UNdeserving) of a main event push upon their arrival. And there is absolutely no reason for Sheamus to be any more or less successful at THIS STAGE OF HIS CAREER in World Wrestling Entertainment than Desmond Wolfe has been in TNA Wrestling (again, at this stage of his career).

*That is, of course, until you remember the fact that TNA's audience is really nowhere near the size of WWE's -- and thus there is more likely to be a substantial overlap between TNA's most loyal supporters and the regular viewers of smaller, independent wrestling promotions like Ring Of Honor.

But fans of ROH/TNA/Nigel McGuinness/Desmond Wolfe (many of whom are Sheamus' biggest critics) can't have it both ways.

Either TNA is a LOCAL promotion with a LOCAL fanbase (as evidenced by the fledgling ticket sales) and a LOCAL appeal (as evidenced by the sheer number of free events which eminate from Orlando) -- and thus decorated newcomers from other LOCAL promotions (like Ring Of Honor) can continue to expect high-profile pushes and storylines upon their arrival to the TNA ranks...

OR

TNA is a NATIONAL promotion with a NATIONAL fanbase and a NATIONAL appeal -- and thus past accolades don't mean diddly, and every decorated newcomer (like, for example, a former Florida Championship Wrestling champion or a former Ring Of Honor champion) should have to earn his high-profile spot accordingly. Just like so many fans are expecting Sheamus to do (and do, and do again) in World Wrestling Entertainment.

Simple as that.

PS: Don't get too upset about Sheamus taking on John Cena in yet another of WWE's "rinse-and-repeat Monster versus Da' Champ" storylines.

Lest we forget, Cena/Umaga was actually a pretty freaking awesome contest.

---

Sheamus' WWE Championship Match Leaves Fans Confused
New Talent Arrival in Main Event Begs an Obvious Question

For those fans who weren't whining about Sheamus being included in the main event picture simply by virtue of the fact that he's Sheamus alone (and thus "too green," "too new," and everything else in between), there were a second handful of fans who were actually all for a new talent getting a title shot -- they'd just rather it not be THIS particular new talent.

The most popular alternative?



"Hey, I'm fine with new faces in the title hunt. But why not Kofi Kingston?"

Kofi Kingston is definitely a step closer to main event legitimacy than some of the other members of the RAW roster, Sheamus included. But there's no hiding the fact that the Once-Jamaican Sensation still hasn't had a proper blowoff to his one-on-one feud with Randy Orton. By all conventional wrestling logic, even if Kofi was to earn himself a title shot, Orton would almost assuredly run-in on the contest and cost him the belt -- simply by virtue of his unfinished business.

WWE has already got a tailor made feud between Kofi and Orton that should (presumably) be coming to a head any day now (read: at TLC, if not sooner). Win or lose, Kingston already looks better simply by virtue of the fact that he's been able to get the upper hand on a former WWE Champion for the better part of a month now. His push has been sudden, but sustained nonetheless -- so why squander a potential starmaking feud between a legit up-and-comer and his best-known adversary simply to throw the guy into a title match that he has no reasonable chance of winning?

If he can prove he has what it takes to main event by way of his feud with Randy Orton, then rest assured that Kofi's time will come.



Mick Foley.

Daily Show.

Seriously, it's pretty hard to top this:

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And With That, I'm Outta' Here
Thanks again for reading, folks. And thanks all the more for sticking it out through a column that (admittedly) could have used a bit more polish and critical attention. Barring any unforeseen circumstances (automotive or otherwise), I should be back in full force by next week. So again, thanks for your patience, enjoy the kick-start to the Holiday Season, and always stay positive.

- Meehan

The National Domestic Violence Hotline : [phone]-SAFE.