News From Cook's Corner 12.02.09

Posted by Steve Cook on 12.02.2009

Is ECW dying? Is Melina the best wrestler in the world? We address those questions, cover another tragic death in the Pillman family and investigate WWE's newest developmental signing.

Hi, hello and welcome to News From Cook's Corner! I'm Steve Cook, and I hope you all had a better Thanksgiving weekend than I did. The illness I mentioned in last week's column got much worse on Thursday and Friday, but after seeing the doctor on Saturday and getting some good meds, I'm on the road to being 1000% Guapo once again. I was unable to contribute to this week's Rs due to the illness, but I doubt anybody else watched Superstars on Thanksgiving anyway. I haven't been fired yet, so I'll assume its water under the bridge.

I have to admit that I haven't watched much wrestling since falling ill. On Thursday I missed both Superstars & Impact since I was at my grandmother's house. Friday I was home for Smackdown, but that was the peak of my illness and I think I saw something on the show that made me turn it off. Or I was speaking in tongues. Either way. Raw this week was up against Patriots vs. Saints, and as a fan of watching good football teams I felt that game required more attention than Verne Troyer and a bunch of midgets. Given the actual result I probably could have watched more of Raw, but the things I heard described by Manu Bumb made me not feel too bad about missing it.

Enough with the small talk, let's get to the news…



This is Jillian Beyor. She's WWE's newest developmental signing, brought up through the wrestling ranks via Playboy and Beauty and the Geek. I would really like to complain about WWE picking their new Divas by looking at swimsuit catalogues instead of scouring the indy ranks, but…but I did some research on the girl and I can't really complain about this. I'd never heard of Jillian so I did a little image search on Google…for your viewing pleasure I've included some results within the column. I left out the topless shots, but you can probably find them on your own time.

It seemed like a pretty slow news week looking at the headlines, so this is how I spent most of my Monday night on the column. You probably won't blame me…anyway, let's get this shindig started!



Good news for my limey Brit audience, as WWE has extended their deal with Sky Broadcasting another five years. I'm not really sure if there are any major changes in the deal, but shows included include Raw, Smackdown, ECW, Superstars, WWE Experience, Bottom Line, Afterburn, Vintage Collection, This Week in WWE, eight PPVs and five monthly specials. Jeez, they show a lot of WWE in the UK, don't they? I'm particularly amused by the inclusion of three shows that were cancelled here in the States years ago.

Rumor has it that the ECW brand might be biting the dust soon. PdubInsida is reporting this bit of news, saying that they would replace ECW with a Superstars type of show on SyFy. SyFy is not happy with the ratings for ECW, which while they are decent by cable TV standards, have gotten progressively worse since the debut of the show. Not a good trend. Honestly, I could go either way on this thing…it's nice for the young talent to have a place like ECW to go to and learn how to work, but the show's basically pointless since their feuds never get blown off on PPV and people from ECW that make their way to Raw or Smackdown never get much of a reaction at first. Example: Sheamus. It's like the old tree falling in the forest question. And old ECW fans like myself would be happy to see the initials rest in peace anyway.

Jim Ross's future with WWE is still up in the air, as he has yet to agree to terms with WWE for a contract extension. He seems pretty confident he'll be back so I won't read too much into it. If he doesn't go back to WWE, Geoff Eubanks tells me that JR does have a future in the BBQ business.

Injury Update! Big Show had arthroscopic knee surgery last Tuesday and felt great afterwards. He worked Sunday's Smackdown tapings, so obviously he won't be missing any time. Rey Mysterio will be back at the December 8 Smackdown taping, having chosen the payday over the future health of his knees. Well, he'll be facing Batista, so nothing could possibly go wrong.

The long-awaited Jeff Hardy DVD went on sale yesterday. I'll be getting this one around the same time I get Brokeback Mountain: Director's Cut. Hardy will be in court today for a probable cause hearing. Something tells me they'll figure out a way to keep him from going to trial. What tells me that? People know who Jeff Hardy is. We all know that famous people are exempt from pesky things like going to jail for drug possession. Silly legal system wasting its time with this nonsense.

WWE has a comic book coming out in March 2010. Does anybody else remember the old WCW comic book that was out in the early 90s? I had an issue of it and it seemed like…well, something. From what I recall, Sting had been turned evil by this big green guy, Johnny B. Badd was Sting's protégé who had been betrayed by the Stinger, and…well, that's what I remember of it. Here's a description of Issue 1 of WWE Heroes…

Issue #1 reveals an eternal rivalry set against the backdrop of the history of WWE. Why is the ruthless Shadow King so obsessed with WWE? What is the reason for his eternal and supernatural war with the Firstborn? And could his ancient opponent really be a member of the WWE roster?

Well, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper is listed among the wrestlers appearing in the comic, so I'd say yes.

Little People's Court has been postponed, but should still make the air on Raw one of these weeks. That's too bad because I was hoping they would do it last night when I wasn't watching the show. Bugger.

WWE was the third most searched for term on Yahoo this year. I know some of the IWC giants love quoting this search nonsense every day and I see no point in it…if "WWE" is so searched for, I can only assume that means that people don't know what WWE's website is. The rest of your top five were Michael Jackson, Twilight, Megan Fox & Britney Spears. Are we sure Yahoo wasn't listing harbingers of the apocalypse instead?

Who is the best wrestler in the world? Some may say its Chris Jericho. Others might say its Bryan Danielson. Whatever happened to that guy anyway? But in the eyes of Bret Hart, the best wrestler in the world is…

Melina?

Apparently. Hart stated on a British radio show that Melina is "really creative and imaginative…She's an innovator and she comes up with some great matches. I love watching her wrestle. In a lot of ways, I think she's the best wrestler in the world right now."

You know, I'm all about freedom of opinion and different strokes for different folks, but sometimes there are opinions that I just can't possibly comprehend. Melina as the best wrestler in the world is one of those opinions. I'd love for somebody to sell me on this opinion, but I have the feeling it isn't very prevalent outside Bret, Batista, John Morrison, Mick Foley and maybe a few other wrestlers she's nice to.

Bret also said that someone should take Vince Russo and hang him by the neck somewhere in the back of the parking lot, which is just mean. Maybe Bret was really drunk when he did this interview. Of course, I figured Tiger Woods was drunk when he crashed his car on Friday, but that ended up being a heck of a lot more interesting than that.



Mick Foley's new book will be entitled Countdown to Lockdown and will chronicle the time period from his signing with TNA to winning the TNA championship at Lockdown. How long was that time period…three weeks? OK, it was a few months, but still. I can't say I'm all that interested in this book, even though Foley is a good writer and there's a slight chance he'll include his dispute with 411mania.com. If we're lucky he'll devote a third of his book to bashing us like he did the PTC in Foley Is Good.

TNA's big cheese could be getting married once again. Hulk Hogan has hinted that he may marry current girlfriend Jennifer McDaniel. If you don't know who Jennifer is or what she looks like…picture Brooke Hogan. Yup. That's not creepy or anything.

Abyss has a blog at TNA's website. This has the potential for some pretty good comedy…for some reason it doesn't surprise me that he went to Notre Dame. After all, Catholics are really into the suffering for your sins stuff and maybe that's why he throws himself onto barbed wire and cuts himself open almost every week on television. I wish my FF opponent had started Kurt Warner like Abyss did…I would have only lost by seven points instead of the twenty-five I only managed to accomplish because my QB Drew Brees went absolutely insane on Monday night. Too bad the rest of my team played like diddley poo.

Dixie Carter will have a sit-down interview on this week's Impact. You know, I liked Dixie better when she was the hot chick that gave TNA money, never appeared on TV and never said much of anything. Now she's on TV all the time and can't stay off that twitter machine that's destroying America by exposing it to the random thoughts and ramblings of mostly people we don't need to hear thoughts and ramblings from.



The main event of the first EVOLVE wrestling show will be Davey Richards vs. Kota Ibushi. I'm told Ibushi's one of the best wrestlers in the world, but he didn't really stand out any more than his opposition in the stuff I saw from him in ROH. Richards seems to be increasingly losing his mind if his MySpace blog is any indication…

"This year many have said I've had more great matches then anyone, vs. KENTA, vs. Danielson, vs. SHINGO, vs. Omega, vs. Strong, ect. Even WWE has come knocking. But no one understands why, it's not for attention I do this, it's not for money, it's not for notoriety. It's for my beliefs, my morals, my creed. I am a man who belives hard work must be rewarded and laziness must be punished. I've simply walked away from places before who I feel have not shared this moral with me.

I enjoy Davey's work, but it's like Gorilla Monsoon said…"If you're in this business for anything other than money, you're a fool." Talking about beliefs, morals, creed and things like that is a pretty good indicator of somebody a wee bit off their rocker. Davey, we like ya, but quit drinking your own Kool-Aid. And if you insist on drinking it, don't put so much vodka in it.

In case you're wondering where Giant Gonzales has been (and who hasn't?), he'll be appearing at a wrestling convention in May in New Jersey. No word on if the big man will be donning his manfur suit, but I'm guessing he won't be able to fit in it due to a fight with diabetes. Bummer.

Alexis Reed, known as Lexi Pillman in the independent wrestling scene, died in an automobile accident on Thanksgiving. Alexis was the stepdaughter of the late Brian Pillman and had been working in various independent promotions for the past couple of years. I saw her at a TNA house show at the Cincinnati Gardens in 2008, where she accompanied Earl Hebner out to the ring, got a pop for being Brian Pillman's stepdaughter, and served as a ring girl. Not a bad looking girl, but it's tough to gauge potential when judging ring girls and that was the only time I ever saw her. Her stepfather was one of my favorite professional wrestlers while growing up, and I often wonder what effect he could have had on the wrestling business in the late 90s if not for the automobile accident that robbed him of most of his athletic gifts and the drugs that robbed him of everything else. Brian certainly would have fit right in with the Attitude Era, and I think his death was a big part of what led to it, as he had been doing some pretty controversial stuff during his run with the WWF and it seemed like they went full speed ahead in that direction after he passed away. We send our best wishes to Alexis's family and hope they're doing the best they can in this difficult time.

Jim Ross reports that the cancer in "Dr. Death" Steve Williams' stoma is getting smaller and Doc has six chemo treatments to go. This is great news and hopefully Dr. Death will treat cancer the way he treated people who went after his UWF title.

E Television's Chelsea Handler is not a big fan of Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. Apparently Chelsea and her people met Hulk and his people at an airport in Australia, and apparently Brutus was running around yelling about how drunk he was. Handler referred to Beefcake as "fucking disgusting" and "the grossest person I've ever seen", which I'm sure is saying something. Chelsea must be one of those IWC nerds, because most of us hated Beefcake's work too.



I was the author of Ask 411 Wrestling from October 11, 2006 to July 16, 2008. During this time span, I wrote more editions of Ask 411 than any other previous author of the column, and still hold the record. I became so identified with the column that I still occasionally receive e-mails in my inbox intended for Ask 411 Wrestling. For a long while I forwarded them and when I knew something off the top of my head I went ahead and answered them, but recently I've been too lazy to do anything with them. Until now.

Mind you, I am not offering myself as competition to Mr. Sforcina. I encourage you all to read his columns and send him plenty of questions. But sometimes I get these questions, and I feel the best way to handle them is to answer them myself instead of throwing them to the bottom of Mathew's big pile o'questions. And if you have any questions for me specifically, I invite you to send them as well…even if the question is "Why in the blue hell are you a Cincinnati Bengal fan when they've sucked for most of your existence?"

This will be nothing more than time filler when there isn't much wrestling news worth talking about, so expect it maybe once a month at the most. And since I haven't cleared this with the big bosses and don't know if they want other people answering questions on the website, it may not come back. Until then, here's a couple of questions from a delightful bloke calling himself The Sexicutioner…

1. Why has Vince never bought the rights to GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling)? I mean, hot chicks semi-nude wrestling in lingerie? A late night women's wrestling show could fuel huge $$$s in phone chat and Girl's Gone Wild commercials. Why has Vince never explored this potential gold mine? The fans for cheap porn and wrestling are pretty much the same bird. Mix in a Doritos commercial and you have all your bases covered!

My good friend Larrold Csonka sent me a GLOW DVD a couple of years ago. After viewing it myself I could see why he was eager to send it to somebody else. Mediocre at best wrestling with backstage comedy segments ranging from somewhat tolerable to unspeakably bad isn't something that I'd think would have great appeal to most wrestling fans. To promoter David McLaine's credit, I remember enjoying WOW a bit better, so eventually he arrived at a formula that almost worked. I don't see Vince purchasing GLOW footage unless they want to make a DVD about Ivory and want to include one of her matches from there.

I would not be offended by the prospect of a late night women's wrestling show with somewhat questionable content, but that's the opposite of what WWE wants to do these days. With Linda McMahon running for Senate and WWE on a bit of a PG kick, it's definitely something that would at least have to wait until she loses in the primary election. I have to admit that the hiring of Ms. Beyor makes this suggestion more interesting, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

2. I remember a weight lifting contest between the Road Warriors and Powers of Pain. I heard the entire barbell fell on Animal but the video shows his face just being pushed into the weight. Did he actually crack an orbital bone? Or was there a house show they were talking about?

Dave Meltzer's obituary for Road Warrior Hawk states that Animal in fact suffered a broken orbital bone during the brawl after the POP broke up his attempt to lift a five hundred pound barbell. It doesn't state specifically when it occurred, but the injury did take place and was supposed to set up a big feud between the Warriors and Powers that would have culminated in a series of scaffold matches. The Powers left for the WWF before those matches, which was for the best on two levels:

-Warlord & Barbarian's knees might not have liked falling from fifteen feet.
-The matches would have been horrendous. Scaffold matches suck in general because the wrestlers can't really do much of anything on the scaffold, but with four bulky guys that would have had a difficult time having a classic regular match it could have set new records for negative star ratings.

3. Another weightlifting question. I remember Dino Bravo "setting the world" record for weightlifting. Jesse Ventura was spotting Dino while he lifted weight and jumped in and helped Dino during the record setting attempt. Was this all a put on? Or was Dino actually trying to set a World Record?

Total work. People trying to set world records typically don't have fellow heel wrestlers helping them accomplish their goal. Mind you, had he actually lifted 715 pounds he would have indeed set the world record at that time, but it was just a deal to give Dino something to brag about that wrestling fans wouldn't buy into. Bravo was legitimately a pretty strong dude and benched over 500 pounds at the peak of his physical prowess.

Joseph sent me this question back in early October…

Eddie Guerrero won his first world title when he was 37 years old. I just wanna know, was this Eddie's prime? If it wasn't when was it?

Depends on how you're looking at it. From a popularity and recognition standpoint, I would say a world title reign represents the prime of any wrestler's career. From an in-ring workrate standpoint…it's really tough for me to say. Eddie had some really great matches in WCW and from a physical standpoint his prime was then, before the car accident in 1999 and drug abuse sent him into a lull that lasted until 2002. I would say his prime from a creative/sports entertainer standpoint lasted from his teaming with Chavo Jr. until his death, as almost everything he did from 2003-2005 got over pretty well with the WWE fanbase. His character was top notch, his matches were generally good and he was almost always up to something interesting storyline wise. Unfortunately we never got to see Eddie past his prime.



Eubanks is all excited about Jim Cornette in ROH. I'm pretty sure Adam Pearce is still booking the shows and Cornette's just an "executive producer", so I'm not sure I'd get my hopes up. But what the hey.

Ari looks to the future of ROH with great excitement and curiosity.

Hubbard deserves a plug for sitting through WrestleMania IX. I knew people of his faith were into suffering, but that's just ridiculous.

Ford contemplates the Bruderschaft, an evil group of fiends, vagabonds and ne'er-do-wells with goals of destroying CHIKARA.

Peters' column is for the birds, literally. I agree with the commenter who asked why the Penguin wasn't on the list. Poor flightless birds never get their proper respect.

Lansdell needs to calm down with the tweeting.

Well, that's all we have time for this week. The distinguished JP Prag will be here tomorrow, and I'll be back next week for more News From Cook's Corner. Until then…WHODEY!