Column of Honor: 12.05.09: Casting Call

Posted by Ari Berenstein on 12.05.2009

I start my own casting couch after observing some eerie actor and wrestler look-a-likes. Plus a preview of tonight’s ROH show in Chicago Ridge with Cabana vs. Aries in a steel cage, news on Brent Albright, thoughts on PWG Threemendous II, WWE comic books, DESTRUCITY and more!

My condolences and sympathies to the Fatu family on the death of Eddie "Umaga" Fatu just yesterday.

Welcome to the Column.




Celebrity Casting: CSI: New York

There is a thought held by some that everyone has a doppelganger, or a double, out there somewhere in the world. I'm not sure it's so specific as to every individual person, but I do believe there are some definite physical types that people generally fall into—obviously some of it is in the DNA and the social hereditary features, but other times it is a matter of form or style that creates the closeness in appearance. I can't tell you how many times that I've been told I look like Newman from Seinfeld or Drew Carrey—and I can see why—we're all overweight white guys (them more than me though, let's get that nice and straight) who are shorter than average, wear glasses and have short haircuts. It's a weird feature of life, but there it is in a nutshell-there is someone we all look like out there, and they look just like us.

Every so often I've run a "Celebrity Look-a-likes" feature in the column. There really are some amazing close similarities between wrestlers from all sorts of federations and current actors, musicians and entertainers. In piecing together my next go-round of this irregular feature, I began to notice that I was matching up wrestlers that looked closely like actors from one specific television show—CSI: New York. That in mind, the light-bulb went off. Who would I cast if I were going to use men and women from the world of professional wrestling to fill the role of New York's Bravest crime lab specialists like Detective Mac Taylor and Dr. Sheldon Hawkes?



Now I have to admit that this isn't the most original idea—after all, Wizard magazine ran with this years ago by fantasy booking comic book movies years before they happened (some of which came true). I'm sure it's been done in other magazines and web sites. However, it sure is fun to do this sort of fantasy connecting-the-dots, so I'm using it without remorse. Here is the next "evolution" (that word being so en vogue in wrestling these days) of the Celebrity Lookalike feature—a casting call for wrestlers to play the roles of the characters in television shows and movies, of course starting this time with CSI: New York.


Detective Mac Taylor (Gary Sinise) – Davey Richards (ROH)



The serious and dedicated leader of the CSI unit of the NYPD, Mac Taylor is an extreme professional and a profile in what it means to be a hero. He is relentless in his pursuit of criminals and demands the best from his team members. He is loyal and open to them, but will not hesitate to tell them if they are slacking in his expectations of what they need to bring to the job.

Davey Richards is known for being an intense and dedicated wrestler, someone who has spent the last several years honing his craft, obviously paying off major dividends in 2009. Richards is the lead spokesman for the American Wolves, and it is his relentless (often ruthless) drive to win that has forged The Wolves' reputation for excellence in the Ring of Honor tag team division.

Obviously you can tell just by looking at the photographs that Sinise and Richards share visual similarities-and both can cut a pretty mean "serious face". As well, they also match up pretty well in terms of characterizations and personality in representing the persona in their respective genre. The booming bass in Richards' voice would serve him well when giving orders as the character Mac Taylor. Richards is ready for the leading male role, and Taylor would be the perfect part for him, were it not that Sinise got to it first!


Detective Stella Bonasera (Melina Kanakaredes)—Tara (TNA)



"Stella! Stella for Star!" My fellow English majors will dig that one. Kanakaredes portrays Detective Bonasera as tough, but heartfelt—she's got a lot of guts but she's got a lot of smarts too. Mac may be the leader, but Stella holds her own, no doubt.

Tara, formerly known as Victoria when in WWE, is the unhinged warrior of the TNA Knockouts division. She uses her pet spider to intimidate her opponents and then her physical prowess to finish the job. Tara has also been known to have a great sense of humor, often participating in wacky segments while in WWE. She also was training in Mixed Martial Arts, which means she can handle her own in a fight.

Obviously there isn't too much of a physical similarity between Tara and Kanakaredes, but maybe a bit of a hair color change for Tara (or for Melina) would help with that. More importantly for this match is that I think there is a similarity of characteristics between the two characters—not so much the "psycho" thing (which Detective Bonasera is not) but the toughness aspect. Both are strong characters who retain their femininity. Plus, cops are usually trained in fighting techniques, so Tara's MMA training would help carry through for any physical scenes involving the detectives and some criminal scumbag.


Detective Danny Messer (Carmine Giovinazzo) – Christian (WWE)



Giovinazzo's Danny Messer character has quickly become a favorite of mine—his portrayal is a personification of genuine Brooklyn. He's street tough (a former rebel kid gone straight) but is on top of things in the lab as well. Messer has a heart of gold and is willing to help anyone with a problem—and sometimes that leads to overzealousness on his part in trying to nail the bad guys. Messer also takes bad breaks very personal—the tortured soul of a cop who has seen too much violence and not enough justice.

Christian had a very successful 2009—a return to WWE, a consistent main-eventer for the ECW brand and one of the best in-ring performers in that company. He can turn out a very good match against any one, but that he does it against relative newcomers such as Zack Ryder and Yoshi Tatsu, monster heels like Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov or older (and aging) veterans such as Tommy Dreamer and Williams Regal demonstrates her versatility and value in the ring. He's come a long ways from the days he used to be referred to as the "CLB: Creepy Little Bastard" by Stone Cold Steve Austin.

There is a definite resemblance between Giovinazzo and Christian, whether it's the tall and lanky frame or the thin and narrow facial features. I don't want this to come across as a pejorative, but "gaunt" is an adjective that comes to mind for both. Maybe they are fraternal twins and don't realize it, but either way I'd cast Christian in the role of Messer not just for the look, but also because I think he'd be able to pull the role off as well.


Dr. Sheldon Hawkes (Hill Harper)—MVP (WWE)



Dr. Hawkes is a man of principles, who fully believes in the Hippocratic Oath. He immensely dislikes when others betray that oath and is sure to cut in on some misbehaving misanthropes in the medical profession should his path cross with theirs in the course of a CSI investigation. He is extremely caring for both his patients and his friends, but sometimes let's pride get in the way of accepting help from them.

MVP, a.k.a. Montel Vontavious Porter, is a man of rediscovered principles, having reformed himself for many years leading into a successful run within WWE. He immensely dislikes when others believe they are the hotter star and will let them know that without any hesitation. He has struck a friendship with Mark Henry and together they have made a solid tag team. Sometimes MVP lets his pride and his predilection for shouting out "Ballin'" get in the way of finishing matches in his favor, but MVP is always a player's boot or playmaker away from winning the fight.

Matching up Hawkes / Harper to anyone in the world of professional wrestling was a difficult endeavor and I actually was considering several others (Kenny King, Shelton Benjamin) before thinking of and liking the visual similarities between the two men. I think MVP could bring the kind of verve and gusto needed to play the role of Dr. Hawkes, although he will need to bring the use of slang down several touches and perhaps learn some Latin.


Detective Don Flack (Eddie Cahill)—Eddie Edwards (ROH)



Don Flack has gone through hell on earth this past season of CSI: New York, having lost his fiancée and fellow Detective Jessica Angell. Since then, then boyish charm and easy-going nature of the Flack character has given way to a darker and brooding mood as he has haunted by the death of his lover. In addition, Flack is attached to the CSI lab headed by Mac Taylor. There is a definite loyalty between Flack and Taylor— even though Flack is slightly younger, they are men sewn from the same cloth.

Eddie Edwards has undergone an incredible transformation over the last year and a half—from an undercard wrestler without aim or motivation to an American Wolf—a ruthless hunter in the ring AND one-half of Ring of Honor's World Tag Team Champions for the better part of 2009. Since then, the babyface charm has given way to a darker, more cut-throat mood as he unleashes pain and suffering against his opponents. In addition, Edwards partners with Davey Richards, who I have already selected to play the role of Mac Taylor. There is a definite bond between Edwards and Richards as a part of their team--even though Richards has the higher profile, they are men who believe in the idea of the pack and the hunt.

Again, if you look at Edwards and Cahill, there is a striking facial similarity, I believe in the overall shape of the face, the eyes and the jaw line. Plus, both of their names are "Eddie", so there is that bit of serendipity going for this casting choice. Edwards has a heavy New England accent, but Flack is also played with a pretty thick accent, so I think that will work in Edwards' favor.


Detective Lindsay Monroe (Anna Belknap)—Mickie James (WWE)



Monroe is the "girl next door" who can kick your butt if that's what is called for. She was originally called "Montana" as a sign of affection from her soon-to-be husband Detective Messer, due to her coming to NY from that state. However, she quickly demonstrated street smarts to go with her good-natured heart. You don't want to mess with Detective Monroe, because she can definitely hit back when needed.

Similarly, Mickie James has often represented the "nice girl" on the WWE Divas roster (that is if we ignore her initial year in WWE as Trish Stratus' lesbian psycho-stalker). She is the "girl next door" of the WWE. James can handle herself in the ring, becoming WWE Divas and Women's Champion several times thus far in her career—and remains one of the most popular current Divas.

James and Monroe share the "good girl" archetype and maintain their popularity by being an easily acceptable representative of a "real woman" in a fictional world. Not only can James play the happy-go-lucky role, I think she'd be able to play the Det. Monroe character much the same way as well.


Adam Ross (A.J. Buckley)—Johnny Fairplay (ROH / TNA)



Buckley plays Ross as the lab technie do-gooder who can sometimes overstay his welcome—either by being over talkative (think Abby Scuito from NCIS) or not getting to the point fast enough (think Abby Scuito from NCIS). Regardless, when his back is against the wall, Ross gets the results, and often the MacGuffin clue that helps to lead to the actual criminal on the show.

Johnny Fairplay plays his character on different series of the reality show Survivor as well as his sporadic appearances in professional wrestling (TNA and ROH) as the slimy, smarmy ne'er-do-well guy who ALWAYS overstays his welcome. Fairplay can annoy anyone and everyone, but in the end, he usually gets what is coming to him—such as when Nigel McGuinness knocked the hell out him with one of his lariats.

As you can see from the comparisons, Fairplay would be a pretty decent fit for the role of Adam Ross, only for once in his performance career he would be on the side of good, not "eeevul" (/Dr. Evil). Both Fairplay and Buckley pull off well the stringy-hair, excessive beard look, once again making them a good visual match. Sure, I know Fairplay isn't actually a wrestler, but he has ties to professional wrestling and has made more than a "one-and-done" appearance in the industry, so I'd stipulate he's kosher to use in this feature.


Davey Richards, Tara, Christian, MVP, Eddie Edwards, Mickie James and Johnny Fairplay—that's quite the Survivor Series team. Well, except maybe Fairplay, but he could be the first guy that goes out due to like a closeline or something simple.

Now that I've assembled my crack-squad of Sherlock's, I put it to you, my readers—what crime would you like to see this fantasy wrestling cast of CSI: New York solve? Include your suggestions in the comments section below! I'll come back with another round of this feature sometime in early 2010.


ROH Preview—Chicago Ridge, Illinois, December 5th, 2009

Ring of Honor returns to its mainstay stop of Chicago (only one show this weekend, a rarity in ROH these days that there isn't a double shot weekend going on) on the road to Final Battle 2009. Jim Cornette also makes a special appearance on the show and will be doing a free meet-and-greet session.

Frontier Fieldhouse
7:30 pm belltime
9807 Sayre Ave.
Chicago Ridge, IL 60415

ROH World Title Steel Cage Match--if Colt Cabana loses, he will never receive another World Title match in Chicago: Austin Aries defends vs. Colt Cabana

The cage match format and the "never receive another title shot in Chicago again" were last-minute additions—read as: "We need something to put this one over the top". Let's face it, Cabana has had multiple title shots in his hometown and that card has been played several times now. The cage match card has been played as well for this combination—they met in one for the title at Third Year Anniversary Show Part One in Edison, New Jersey back in 2005. So while this does have a bit of the "rerun" feel to it, the twist of Cabana losing out on the ability to fight for the title could be enough to provide a more emotional edge to it.

If Cabana loses (and presumably he will, because Black vs. Aries in New York City is the more sellable main event match for tickets to the show AND for the iPPV they are presenting compared to Cabana vs. Black), then you have a plot development that has far reaching effects for the character and the product into the future. You can tell the story of Cabana trying to find a way to fight for the title in his hometown, or perhaps turning to the tag division in order to win a title for his hometown fans. Either way, this match tonight now has at least some sort of deeper reason and drama behind it (other than you know, it being for the ROH World Title and all), which is more than it had three days ago. The only problem really is, if Chicago fans are so sick of seeing their guy challenge for the title, they may be rooting more for Aries than for Cabana in this one!

Pick 6 Series- First Time In ROH--(3) Roderick Strong vs. (5) Kenny Omega

This should be a very fun match; hopefully since its babyface vs. babyface we get a focus on an action-packed bout with a rapid fire back-and-forth tempo. I think Strong is the favorite to win, but Omega has been known for the upset victory in ROH, winning when it seemed like he wouldn't against the likes of Claudio Castagnoli and twice in non-title matches against Austin Aries. It wouldn't be that out of this world to consider Omega does it again here and boosts himself up the Pick 6. Considering ROH's title scene in December is all booked up, these guys are only fighting for positioning down the line as ROH begins its 2010 season. However, they can really give the fans in attendance a great match-of-the-year candidate style match that will make them happy they came to the show and get more people talking about the product.

Tag Team Special Challenge Match--Jay & Mark Briscoe vs. The Dark City Fight Club

A bit of a dream match earlier in the year as DCFC initially set up their reign of destruction on HDNet and some of the house shows. This match was inevitable once each team recovered from their respective injuries (Mark's leg and Jon Davis's elbow). DCFC messed around in The Briscoe's business during tag team matches on HDNet, and The Briscoes did not shy away from the physical back-and-forth against Davis or Chavis. Both teams have taken their share of losses as of late, with both teams recently losing to the Young Bucks (DCFC on HDNet and The Briscoes in New York City) and while The Briscoes do have a title match on December 19th against The American Wolves, they could surely use a win to prove to the world at large that they are ready for the champions. DCFC want to be where The Briscoes are—the number one contenders—and if they knocked off Jay and Mark then they make a great case for doing exactly that.

Pick 6 Series- Everybody Is Barred From Ringside--(4) Tyler Black vs. Kenny King

The story that ROH is telling is that Black wants King in the ring to avenge the injury of his "Mentor" (eyes roll) Jerry Lynn at the hands of King and his tag partner Rhett Titus. An underlying part of this match is that it only makes sense for Black to go up against the men who Aries has championed—Kenny King and Rhett Titus as Ring of Honor ramps up its build to Final Battle and the title match that is already set with Black vs. Aries (unless Colt wins on this show). If King wins, not only can he slow down Black's momentum and confidence on the way to the title match, but he receives Black's spot on the Pick 6. King can then use the spot to block others from reaching their objective of a title shot against Aries, or he can use it for himself to climb up the ladder of contention and make a case for his greatness. There have been a series of vignettes that have aired repping King and making a big deal out of him being one of the future building blocks of ROH, and so that heavy a push could suggest a huge win for King here. Then again, if King is really being sent by Aries to do the champions' bidding, he might not care about a slot in the Pick 6, or rather, he might care more to do some physical damage to Black before his shot against Aries at Final Battle 2009. Aries and Titus will not be allowed at ringside, but that doesn't mean that King sacrifices himself in order to put Black in check for December 19th.

Pick 6 Series- Special Challenge Match--(1) Kevin Steen vs. Claudio Castagnoli

Rumors and discussion about as to the future of Kevin Steen within pro wrestling, that he might need to take some time off in order to heel his constant and nagging knee injuries On the other hand, others are speculating this is all a front and that the announcement Steen will make in New York during Final Battle will include some sort of the long-predicted heel turn against El Generico. Either way, before we get there Steen must defend his positioning at the top of the Pick 6 Rankings. It was a bit of a surprise to see Steen upend Chris Hero for his spot at the top, but Steen's Package Piledriver got the job done in spades. That move is always a killer for any opponent. Claudio Castagnoli has been going through some ups and downs with this Pick 6 series. Initially he did not find his way into the first six men on the list, but defeated Jay Briscoe to take the sixth spot and then losing the spot by virtue of the knocking down process of others changing spots above him. Now Claudio gets a chance to go straight to the top of the list and secure himself a stable position for a title shot going into 2010.

Grudge Match--The Necro Butcher vs. Erick Stevens

It's time to bring Erick Stevens into account for his betrayal of the fans and of Necro Butcher. He waylaid Butcher at the recent HDNet tapings and demolished him at the behest of his new boss Prince Nana. Now Necro gets his chance to strike back. He is still at a disadvantage given the numbers of The Embassy and the likely involvement of Nana, Ernie Osiris and anyone else on payroll that makes an appearance on the show. He'll have to be very much aware of them while at the same time try to match brawn for brawn against Stevens, who matches up very well against Necro in terms of power and strength. Without The Embassy this bout is very much a toss-up, but with Nana in Stevens' corner, Necro might now not have a good chance at all of walking away from this one with a "W", or just walking away in the first place.

Survival of the Fittest 2009 Rematch--The Young Bucks vs. The House of Truth

The HoT are an oxymoronic combination of Plain Jane and Outlandish. Christian Able's penchant for wearing androgynous attire and Josh Raymond's plain, generic wrestler look give away nothing about their inner mindset. Able possesses a ruthless brawn behind the effeminate fishnets and sarong; Raymond's aerial abilities are very impressive and can be unleashed at a moment's notice. Their inner workings and diabolic strategy are concocted by their manager Truth Martini, and while they have yet to truly make their mark in a few appearances for ROH, they remain a dangerous undercard team whose true power and wrath is yet to be unleashed.

However, the problem with all of that is they are once again heading up against Matt and Nick Jackson-the rising stars of tag team divisions all around the United States independent scene. The Young Bucks press the action, hitting the max on their speed and tag team combinations to overcome their opponents. Expect the Bucks to do the same here, using More Bang for Your Buck as their finisher of choice. Likely, they'll have to overcome Truth Martini's interference, but if they can keep aware of his presence around the ring in all likelihood it won't be too much to handle.

The legendary Jim Cornette will be in Chicago Ridge on December 5th. Prior to the event there will be a FREE meet & greet autograph session with Jim Cornette from 6:30-7:30 PM.



Honorarium

-A few Ring of Honor newsbits to start off: Dave Meltzer of the Wrestling Observer is reporting that "some sort of a syndication deal that has been brought to them, but not sure how it works and it's not a deal that's been completed. It would get them on local TV in several Southeastern markets and a few somewhat major markets, Cleveland being the biggest." So it seems that ROH will have begun the year with a television deal and end the year with one, or at least a new one in the formative stages. It has been a goal of Ring of Honor to expand its reach, slowly but steadily through syndication, and a move like this would once again do that. Still no word on any international market syndication, but that would be a huge key in once again securing a very long-term stability for the company.


-Brent Albright may or may not be gone from ROH depending on who you believe. PWInsider reported last week that Albright was finished with the company, but ROH responded to the speculation by stating that Albright was still under contract and hasn't asked for a release. Regardless, Albright is not booked for any upcoming end-of-year shows or for anything in 2010 for the promotion. So "still under contract and not asked for release" seems to me to be like when a ballplayer is still under contract but is made to sit on the sidelines—in other words, benched.


-WWE announced they are beginning a new comic book series called WWE Heroes. Apparently this series is confirmed for at least twenty issues and will be telling a story about a connection between an ancient civilization of warriors and a villain who raises the dead and current-era WWE wrestlers. Folks, I'm going to advise you right here and right now, DO NOT BUY THE COMIC BOOK. Save your money, save your time, save your sanity. As a former hardcore comic book collector (now just the occasional hardcore comic book collector), I can safely say that this series WILL be a load of crap. Crap, crap and more crap.

First of all, the plot as it stands is ridiculously stupid, mixing fantasy science fiction BS with fantasy sports entertainment BS just DOES NOT work. Not to mention, it will cost $4 for each one of these POS comics. Now I know that's the standard for comic books today, but believe me, it won't be worth even one dollar of entertainment value (which was how much a comic book cost when I began collecting). Hell, it won't even be worth using as toilet paper.

Second of all, the comic book obvious does not follow the Wellness Policy. Here is a sample page of the comic book:





All you have to do is look at their physiques and realize that there is some major juicing going on behind the panels. Yes, I know comic books have characters with over-exaggerated physiques, but even this is ridiculous. Look at Matt Hardy's abs!

WWE Heroes will debut in March 2010. It's going to be bad, real bad. However, I don't know if it will be able to reach the WARRIOR comic book levels of horrible. That one had grossly over-exaggerated physiques, incomprehensible story lines, naked man who looks like Warrior, killing SANTA and of course, DESTRUCITY!!!!!


DESTRRRRRRRRUCITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

But there's always a possibility it could...so, here is my advice. Please, if you see a child, or an adult, or an adult buying a comic book FOR a child, and they are about to pick up the WWE Heroes series, PLEASE do them a favor and slap it out of their hands. Instead, tell them they should buy Headlocked by Mike Kingston, probably the only decent comic book about wrestling ever written, drawn and published.


-I finished watching Pro Wrestling Guerrilla's Threemendous II events this past week. Wrestling fans, do yourself a favor and GET. THIS. DVD. NOW. Guerre Sans Frontieres is next on the list, but I can already tell you that it will be worth the purchase as well. So, GET. THAT. DVD. NOW.

Top to bottom these are the best United States independent professional wrestling shows of the year that is 2009. Yes, better than anything in Ring of Honor this year. Yes, better than anything in CHIKARA this year. Yes, better than the two highly raved about Dragon Gate USA Pay Per Views that have aired this year. These two PWG shows are THE shows to buy and THE shows to watch above any others. They have top independent names, but also young talent that break through with show stealing performances. They have both serious action AND comedy that is entertaining and funny. They have top notch, match-of-the-year caliber attractions up and down each card that give you far more than your money's worth.

I don't usually like to break things down in terms of snow flakes / star ratings (though I have done so for ROH PPV breakdowns and my end-year lists, but just check out this breakdown of the matches on Threemendous II (the six-year anniversary show) and you'll see even from this perspective you're talking about a show that is second-to-none in terms of quality:

The Cutlers & Charles Mercury vs. Jerome "LTP" Robinson, Johnny Goodtime & Brandon Gatson: ****1/4
Scott Lost vs. Alex Shelley: ****1/4
Bryan Danielson vs. Chris Sabin: ****
Colt Cabana vs. Chuck Taylor: **1/2.
Davey Richards vs. Roderick Strong: ****
El Generico & Human Tornado vs. Young Bucks: ****1/4
Guerrilla Warfare, PWG Heavyweight Title: Chris Hero vs. Joey Ryan: ****1/4

That's six out of seven matches on this card with at least four stars or more. That's an insane average of over four stars per-match. You don't see that on ANY show from ANY promotion these days. Maybe the best of the best Ring of Honor shows in years gone by, but that would be about it.

Aside from the Cabana / Taylor match, which was smartly used for comedy and to bring the crowd down a bit in order to avoid them getting tired, it felt like every wrestler in each match was giving it all to create the best match they could possibly have for the show, and the result was obvious: a high mark of excellence in craftsmanship. I write that also with the knowledge that while I know that these guys were working the hell out of their matches, they also made it look effortless and easy.

I felt that undercard guys like Charles Mercury, the Cutler Brothers, Brandon Gatson, Jerome LTP Robinson and Johnny Goodtime really made their bones on these shows. They elevated themselves out of that "who are these guys?" thought process that many young wrestlers on the independent scene have to sort out through. I have to believe that PWG fans who attend those shows have now fully accepted these wrestlers as legitimate and having a place on the show. The more independent who see their efforts in the six-man and nine-man (three-way, three-person tag team) match, that effort will have people asking to bring these guys in to other promotions around the country.


-Given we have already seen Fire Ant, Soldier Ant, Worker Ant, Green Ant and even the ignoble Carpenter Ant as members of the antennae-army, who will be next? How about some female companionship? I'd suggest perhaps a "Queen" Ant to guide the workforce and increase productivity. Really though, I'm waiting for Aunt Ant to make her debut at any minute now. She could play the Shelton's Mamma role for The Colony.



Honor Bound Links


Head on over to TwitterNation and follow me at: http://twitter.com/AriBerenstein.

Geoff Eubanks discusses Jim Cornette in Ring of Honor in this week's Five Star Conversaton.

This week's 411 Buy or Sell discusses EVOLVE, DGUSA and ROH. CAPITALIZE!

Aaron Hubbard has coverage of this week'sROH on HDNet with Colt Cabana vs. Austin Aries (as a quasi-preview / foreshadowing of the title match in Chicago).


It's coming back… THREE WEEKS UNTIL FINAL COLUMN 2009! See you next week.

BROOKLYN!
--Ari--