The Tuesday Small-For-All News Report: 01.05.10
Posted by Jeff Small on 01.05.2010
The Most Monumental Small-For-All News Report of the Decade!!!
It's a Celebration, Bitches
Who's excited for some rasslin'? Considering you won't be reading this until after the Monday Night "War" is over, I guess the buzz would have worn off by now. As for me, I am currently writing this at 7:30PM Monday night and I am super excited (thanks for asking) at watching tonight's wrestling programs. Below there will be a special One-Night-Only TNA Thoughts for the 8-9PM hour before I switch over to my regularly scheduled WWE programming. C'mon kids, this should not be a surprise at all as I'm probably the biggest WWE mark at 411Mania. That said, it took enough convincing (hint – alcohol) to get me to watch tonight's first hour of Impact. I keed, I keed. Once TNA re-signed Angelina Love, that's all it took.
In addition to the Monday Night Hoopla, I also owe all of my Smallophiles a Year/Decade/WhateverthefuckIdecide in Review! All this and…and…and… well that's about it really. There aren't any other stories of note outside of the epic TNA/WWE showdown. Sure we could talk about Dana White's pottymouth or CM Punk's negative attitude or even early plans for the Money in the Bank match at WrestleMania 26. But why should we when we can talk about X-Pac?
Okay, you got me. Let's take care of all of this "clutter" before the main program begins.
Stolen from your favorite sources. Note: There are spoilers below.
Early Money in the Bank plans indicate that Kofi Kingston will be the winner of the match.
No surprise here. Even though Kofi has seen a fast rise to the upper card, he will still be left out of the big money matches at WrestleMania. So what's the next best thing for him – ending CM Punk's attempt at winning three MITB matches. Sounds good to me.
From WWE.com (in regards to the top superstars most destined to win a championship in 2010), "Another Superstar who is now on a quest for singles success is Raw's Ted DiBiase. Without Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes at his side, this third-generation Superstar will be looking to prove what he is capable of. Can this former tag team champion finally win one for himself?"
Shocking spoilers, Batman. Well not really.
Word is that WWE offered Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson the guest host spot for the January 11th RAW but the offer was turned down. WWE then offered the gig to Mike Tyson, who has been confirmed to host that night.
You know after the Rock's 10th Anniversary Smackdown promo, I think we were all really hoping that his promise to host Raw comes true. While there's still a very good chance that it will happen, it's a shame that he has already turned down hosting Raw. Granted, the WWE got a great replacement in Mike Tyson. Seriously. There's a very good chance that we will have a Hangover parody next week. Tyson will play himself, Hornswoggle will play Baby Carlos, and of course, Santino Marella will play Zack Galifianakis.
During an interview with Dana White, he called a fucking animal a few times.
What a pottymouth. And you know what happens to pottymouths:
In a recent radio interview, Hulk Hogan called CM Punk "negative" guy but is willing to work with him in the future.
Is this a veiled Hogan to WWE in 2015 rumor? Because I take it as a YES!!!
TNA Thoughts
Nice opening package for TNA. I'm glad Hogan still knows how to rip his shirt off or else he would never make it in the opening video.
Someone has a Hulkabuddy! Awesome.
Taz: "I have a feeling that tonight will never be the same." Someone needs to yell at Tazz that he fucked up the words to the Black Eyed Peas song.
Wow, that's Bubba the Love Sponge. No wonder certain people are destined to the radio.
And within five minutes, I want to change the channel. God, wrestling fans suck.
I'm glad that all of the new fans get to see Jay Lethal's Macho Man gimmick. Seriously TNA, why don't you bring back Stone Cold Shark Boy?
I have to say kudos to Amazing Red for getting over considering his entrance is easily the worst of the bunch. Can't someone get this guy some pyro?
Who's idea was to paint the cage red?
Is someone supposed to stop Shelley as he keeps looking down instead of actually climbing out? Why wouldn't he just want to leave the cage and win the match? Wait, is pro wrestling not real?
It's still real to me dammit!!!!
And wait, the opening match ends in a DQ… sorry, no contest!!! "This is bullshit" chant. HAHAHAHA.
Okay, so this was the first time I have ever seen a Steel Asylum match but honestly, I can't say I would ever want to see it again. While I like the concept of escaping, the curved roof makes escaping almost too complicating. Decent spotfest but really shitty ending. I'm betting that that one guy who wanted "wrestling" like he used to watch loved this match.
Odds that Matt Hardy will be jobbed out in 2010: 2:1. Odds that Jeff Hardy's "My Life My Rules" DVD will mysteriously vanish from all retail stores: 3:2. Odds that Shannon Moore will still not receive a TNA contract: PRICELESS
Would I be the only one who would mark out for a hummer driving into Hogan's limo?
When did Kevin Nash develop Roddy Piper's promo skills? God, that promo was almost incoherent.
Is that Dixie Carter's "Yearbook" picture? Yeah, she's hot… oh snap, we just got some crack! Yes, crack kills as Spike tries to censor it but fails.
Now that's probably not Hulk Hogan. And oh shit, it's Ric Flair! I have to say that TNA is really pulling out all of the stops tonight. Kudos to them.
So far, TNA is 0 for 2 with the matches but 2 for 2 with the shocking guests. Sadly, the company's future revolves more around the wrestlers in the matches than Hardy and Flair.
So wait, Mick Foley, one of the most violent and sadistic wrestlers of all time cannot get passed to fat security guards? Yeesh.
Oh noes, no more Bobby Lashley. How will he ever be replaced? It's not guys like Scott Hall, X-Pac, Val Venis, Orlando Jordan, etc. etc. are waiting to join TNA.
Strip Poker? Because that worked so well for ECW a few years back.
Oh shit, this show is getting sadder by the minute. Scott Hall looks awful. Then again, we should just be glad he actually showed up.
Dueling limos???
Hey wait, it only take five minutes for X-Pac and Scott Hall to get in the Impact Center while Foley's been trying to do that for hours. And that's our entire segment. Ya know, outside of the two shocking appearances to start, this show has been tough to get through. T-minus 10 until Monday Night Raw.
So after Hall's toothpick destroyed the camera, I went to take a quick piss. When I returned both guys were back on my screen only for TNA to go to another commercial. Why is the pacing so off tonight? (Looking back, I guess TNA is trying to get a lot of the commercials out of the way for longer segments against Raw.)
Well at least TNA got it right with having Hogan come out a few minutes before Monday Night Raw started. And seeing as his entrance should last about five minutes, it won't even have enough time for his promo to get started before 9PM.
Wait why did Hogan take a limo here if he's been in the back all day? Eh who cares, it's time for the return of Bret "the Hitman" Hart!!!
Raw is Small Thoughts
Man, no other guest host got an opening video. I guess this Bert Hart guy is important or something.
This is really surreal to see Bret Hart back on WWE TV. Even though he now looks like Raven.
Oh shit, Hart just called out HBK! That alone gave me more goosebumps than anything on TNA.
Oh shit, this is like watching Grumpy Old Men. And HBK is acting like a heel, right now. Here comes the mutual respect angle. Oh man, this is good. Are you ready Bret? To SUCK IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Superkick him Shawn! Oh wait, that would probably give him another concussion. Aw a manhug!
Now comes Vince McMahon. And he no shows! Wow, what an opening.
Woah, what are the Bella twins doing without Bret Hart? Or is this Bert Hart they are bringing down to the ring? Oh wait, a Bella twin is actually wrestling? Man, TNA cannot handle this.
And now we know why the Bellas do not wrestle. On the other hand, I could watch Maryse wrestle all night. Case in point – she no sells the switcharoo like a pro and picks up the victory. God, Maryse is awesome.
The Miz with new theme music is out to meet the most awesome Diva. And Maryse stares at him like she wants to fuck him. God, I love this power couple.
Of the four contenders, MVP makes the most sense. Here's hoping the Miz's heat can help out MVP who's been in a rut since his tag team with Mark Henry began. Decent match.
Bret Hart and Chris Jericho with an awesome backstage segment. I love watching Jericho's face melt when Bret ripped on him at the end. And then Bret follows with a Jim Halpert smirk!
Is that a King Booker toy that's in the front of the table?
Kudos to Spike TV for putting Hogan commercials on encouraging the viewer to change the channel.
The DX vs. JeriShow was damn good. Lots of false finishes and a satisfying ending with Jericho walking into a Sweet Chin Music. It's sad that next week's Raw will be Jericho-less.
And now the tables have turned on Randy Orton.
Hey look it's been 80 minutes since the show started and finally, the champ shows up. The WWE really needs to give Sheamus something to do until the rubber match between him and Cena happens. LOL Evan Bourne wants a title shot. My God, this title is falling faster than when Hornswoggle when the Cruiserweight championship.
Kudos to the crowd for getting into this match and I have to say the SSP hitting in the first minute was surprising. The rest… not so much.
Dr. Death tribute package was a nice touch. It's sad that Umaga was not even mentioned a few weeks back.
Lame that the WWE is re-showing the opening video package. It almost makes me want to flip on Impact. Almost.
Kofi vs. Orton has been a pretty darn good match. Orton's style makes it tough for any match to be a classic; however, it allows for the majority of his matches to be solid. I'll take that level of DDP consistency any day. Poor Kofi though. Where's he to go now?
Oh baby, here it is – McMahon vs. Hart. McMahon is so great as a slimy SOB.
WB Champion? Did McMahon get bought out by a frog?
Vince is gonna turn on him and it's gonna be marvelous! Oh man, what a promo by Vince followed by an awesome low blow. That was awesome and it most certainly sets up what should be a fun three months leading into WrestleMania.
All right, so there's no way for me to accurately judge who the winner of tonight's battle. But I can at least tell you what I thought of what I saw. Overall, the first hour of Impact was pretty lackluster. Outside of Flair and Hardy's shocking debuts, there was really nothing else in that hour that was memorable. Well, the Steel Asylum match started things off on the wrong foot and honestly, how many of you at 11:30PM Monday night could remember ODB's win or even the winner of the strip poker tournament? Even in a three-hour show, TNA was rushing through so much in that first hour, that it's really hard to digest everything. Throw in the fact that there was no good wrestling, which is a negative when you are claiming to be an alternative to the WWE's sports entertainment, and the first hour was not appealing. Now reading the results, it appears that both the Women's Tag Matches and the Styles/Angle main event, rocked the body that rocked the party so kudos for TNA for righting the wrongs of the first hour. As for the whole Hogan takes over storyline, let's see how things go after tonight. First impressions are that it's a tad complicated and way too much shades of grey, but that's Russo for ya.
Over on Raw, I will first admit that this was definitely not the greatest Raw of all time. I think we all were anticipating a flawless Raw program and it was not. However, there were plenty of positives from the show. First, while not much of a host, it was great seeing Bret Hart back in the WWE. His opening segment with HBK was extremely well done as was his closing segment with Vince. I am really looking forward to seeing how this storyline continues. Second, there were two solid matches on the show – both the tag team titles match and the Kofi/Orton final encounter. And even the matches that were way too short to be good at least had a purpose – building Sheamus, promoting the Women's tournament (though I'm shocked there was only one women's match), developing a US feud, etc. It was great to see Raw having focus which is honestly more important than putting on the flashier show. Because with TNA's reliance on nostalgia, there was really no way for the WWE to top that. However, in the long run, I have to think the WWE is in better shape heading into 2010. But then again, what do I know? I'm just a WWE mark.
YEAR/DECADE IN REVIEW
So wait, I was supposed to do this over my Holiday break? Oops.
2009 Wrestler of the Year
Honorable Mentions: John Cena, CM Punk, Kurt Angle
And our winner is… Chris Jericho. Honestly, while Jericho had a better 2008, there's no other wrestler that I want to see night in and night out. From trying to make the best of a Legends feud that flamed out before WrestleMania to having a fun feud with Rey Mysterio to ending the year in a great tag team with the Big Show, Jericho still had it in 2009. Oh and who else could forget about this look:
By the way, Bob Barker won Guest Host of the Year but really, was anyone else even close?
Knockout of the Decade
Honorable Mentions: Shane McMahon attacking Randy Orton, Santina Marella, Kanye West
And the winner is… the douchebag that knocked out Snickers on Jersey Shore!
PPV of the Year
Honorable Mentions: Backlash, Summerslam, Survivor Series
And the winner is: No Way Out. It's never a good idea when the lead-up to the Big Show is better than the Big Show but that's what happened. Then again, it's not a good idea when the follow-up to the Big Show is ALSO better than the Big Show. But that's what happened in 2009. As for the final No Way Out, two excellent Elimination Chamber matches plus two long term blowoffs led to a memorable show. I'm hoping for more of the same from this year's show.
PPV of the Decade
Honorable Mentions: ECW One Night Stand, Backlash 2000, No Way Out 2001
Like there's any doubt - WrestleMania 17 back in 2001 was the best show of the decade. It's a shame that it hasn't been toped in nine years.
Khali Moment of the Year
Honestly, the Great Khali had a rough 2009. He missed WrestleMania, feuded and lost to Dolph Ziggler and Kane, and then only made a few random cameos before the end of the year. So if I had to pick a moment in the year, there's only one - Khali dancing with R-Truth!
At that time, we all thought it was just a dance. Howeve,r Khali's fist pumps inspired so many Staten Island Guidos that Khali's dance moves will forever be known as "beating the beat." Not only that but in 1998, the Great Khali won a Danceathon by chopping all of his action (and mostly power) to victory.
Small-For-All Segment of the Year
Honorable Mentions: Owen Hart and Too Cool Get Inducted into the African American Hall of Fame ( February 17th ), Khali-For-All ( September 8th ), No Country for Old Men ( August 4th ).
And the winner is… Small's Wrestlicious Rap ( April 28th ). And in case you missed it the first time, here it is:
I really wanted to do a segment entirely on this, but then I got high. Actually, I did whip out a few of them.
My name is Michael Cole and I'm a vintage talker
I commentate every Monday with Jerry Lawler
I believe Mike Knox is really vicious
Because I'm Michael Cole and I'm Wrestlicious
The name's Triple H and I'm the biggest star
And if you try to pass me, I'll hit you with a car
My sledgehammer is thick just like my penis
I am the Game and I'm Wrestlicious
I'm Great Khali, your Punjabi Playboy
Not only that but I'm Small's love toy
Of course we all know that is fictitious
*Insert Punjab roar* Wrestlicious
Heidenreich's the name, I'm a frozen Nazi
I never got to show anyone my Little Johnny
My poems were always repetitious
Perhaps I'll rape Jimmy Hart at Wrestlicious!
The name's Jeff Small, I'm your favorite writer
I've been watching wrestling since I was out of diapers
My favorite song of 2006 was Fergielicous
Wait for it…
I thought that TNA put on the better show tonight, Raw was too predictable.
Posted By: Brian (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 01:55 AM
I too am a WWE fan for life...but i damn near watch both show and ill tell ya TNA stepped up big time and Raw was not as good as it should have been. I am a huge Bret Hart fan abut there really was no excitement through out the show. its now way the the Orton/Kingston match could withstand the Angle/Styles match and TNA did a nice job of rehashing the NWO angle...Cant complain about the NWO being around if DX can runaround raw with a midget!I Hope The wwe takes this seriously..I hope TNA kicks the WWE ass and then finally the WWE can get back to business and put on quality shows
Posted By: trae316 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 02:18 AM
Raw sucked. I was happy to see Bret, but he's not charismatic enough to build a feud with Vince over three months. Unless Vince beats him up badly in the next couple of weeks, and then Bret sits out until Wrestlemania, I think this will lose all momentum by the time they get to Arizona.
Posted By: Guest#7713 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 02:27 AM
I think without question Impact beat Raw tonight. Good to see Bret Hart back in the wrestling ring.
Posted By: The Weesel (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 02:30 AM
You dorks on the IWC really need to get over Maryse. She's fucking terrible. Awful wrestler, and about as UNOVER as you can get. You guys are like "OMG it's a hot chick, I've never seen one of those before". I guess the male adults in the crowds must get alot more pie than you, because if she was as over with them as she is with you, she'd be getting Hogan like pops.
Posted By: Guest#1294 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 02:31 AM
The name is roma, my pals call me paul,
in my rasslin bouts i was takin the fall,
now i am sitting at home feeding the fishes,
i am roma paul and i am wrestlelicous.
Posted By: Roma-oma (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 02:52 AM
"I'll take that level of DDP consistency any day"
Funniest and truest quote ever...I love you Jeff Small
Posted By: dynamo (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 02:55 AM
Get off of vince's nuts. raw sucked tonight. we were all expecting something more than a man huge between bret and hbk. epic fail.
all the while angle and styles put on a free moty.
Posted By: Havok (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 03:14 AM
Is it just me or is TNA's roster way too overcrowded and confusing. It also feels as if theirs no ranking system. That meaning theres no midcarders/maineventers/jobbers, only the X-Divison and everyone else.
Posted By: joe5566 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 03:19 AM
I also think that TNA put on a way better show than the wwe's repetitive bullshit....bret hart came back to hug shawn, gimmi a break
Posted By: Your OUT of your Mind (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 03:30 AM
Yeah I'll give TNA the win.WWE brought Hart back just to get screwed by Vince was a waste.Plus no interaction with the Hart Dynasty at all.I'm pretty sure someone will justify this but in my opinion TNA put on the better programming minus the 1st hour...
Posted By: The Gold Standard (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 03:34 AM
I thought that TNA put on the better show tonight, Raw was too predictable.
Posted By: Brian (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 01:55 AM
----------------------------------------
TNA was predictable because we all knew it was going to suck.
Posted By: Squid Vicious (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 04:15 AM
Well, it's obvious someone was a WWE mark tonight. Raw was the same old shit, aside from Bret, who looked freaking terrible. Rip on hall, but Bret looked moments from stroking out.
Posted By: Ha (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 04:20 AM
Is that really a bloke knocking out a bird?!
Shameful...
Posted By: Guest#0362 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 05:06 AM
I didn't see your name on the End of Year Awards for voting, yet your the most important writer on here, there for they are all invalid without your vote.
Whammy!
Posted By: midcard madness (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 06:48 AM
OK for all who think Raw was too predictable and was boring and TNA was chock full of surprises and unpredictable. Mr. McMahon knows what he is doing, shocking turns only work for so long, when they are done so often, people start not giving a damn. By doing slow builds and then using shocks every once in awhile, you put yourself in better off shape long term...
WCW won the battle but lost the war, and TNA is headed down the same path...
Posted By: William (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 07:10 AM
TNA did put on the better show. RAW just put on the same mid-90's RAW they've been regurgitating the past year or so merely with the addition of a Bret Hart appearance cut-and-pasted into the host segment parts of the show not dedicated to DX/Hornswoggle shenanigans and the never-ending laundry wash of the undercard (everything non-DX/Hornswoggle related).
Impact actually had a buzz behind it, rather than the blip of excitement the Hart-HBK confrontation briefly aroused. I had Impact streaming on my computer, RAW on my television, and volume dictated the winner of today's feud - I hardly even heard King and Cole's gnawing commentary.
Not that TNA provided the best promotion of their product; hell, there were alot of things they did that could have been handled better. But they generated an interest in this longtime-wrestling fan that hasn't been felt for over a decade. And, regardless of the empty criticisms of internet-ruined smarks who didn't even bother to watch the show, the poor decisions I allude to, at the end of the day, made almost-complete sense.
They start with a multi-man match, exhibiting ala WCW/Cruiserweights the best of their X-Division talent - those young, exciting entertainers who appeal to the majority of wrestling fans untainted by smarky attitudes towards wrestling ('I don't want to see those spot-monkeys putting on entertaining matches just like the ones I used to mark out to before I started being a douche; I want to watch Hornswoggle participate in MitB and mark out over HBK-Undertaker putting on a great match that relied on playing off spots we'd seen from the two for so long'). While I'd personally have showcased this energetic, original and unique display of entertainment merely resigned to Evan Bourne's finishing move (every other semblance of high-flying action has been banned for being too risky) on RAW a little more, in the end one could say it made sense in that they decided to focus on Homicide (call me cynical but Latino demographic, anyone?) and were able to introduce Jeff Hardy.
Jeff fucking Hardy.
While he has his detractors, while he has even more personal issues, this guy was outselling the whole WWE roster in merchandise when he was there. Obliterating them, in fact. Do not discount the importance of that. And that wasn't even with WWE deciding to dedicate half their show to backstage skits with Hardy making poop jokes.
Also within that crucial first hour, they showcase their women's division - the sexy in The Beautiful People's poker skit, the powerful in the (albeit underwhelming) Knockouts Title match. Smart booking. Dismiss the blatant selling of sex all you want, but it's a sad fact an AJ Grey posting of some girl filling up her car will get more hits than any Column of Honor on here...
Posted By: Chungles (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 07:25 AM
...
Then you have the appearance of Ric Flair. Now, I hate the fucking guy and wish he currently positioned himself at a farther distance from wrestling than Umaga, but that's HUGE news. Not for the quality of wrestling on the show, maybe not even for one of the younger guys who'd benefit from whatever time will be dedicated to Flair - but for TNA as a company.
With Flair, Hardy and Hogan alone, TNA can now move out of the Impact Zone. That's not even taking into account Angle, Foley and Sting. I ain't one of them, but there are LOTS of people willing to buy a ticket to see Ric Flair prancing around with his man-tits. The sad nerds that immerse themselves in all this fanboy nonsense may dismiss it now, but were the dream rematch of Sting-Flair made into a potential reality on WWE screens, we'd all be marking out.
So, from a company perspective, TNA have just acquired the biggest seller of merchandise in WWE and one of the biggest names in wrestling; both of whom guarantee a substantial fanbase. That's a huge step forward regardless of what your negativity-tainted perspective may lead you to believe.
And, just before RAW kicks off, Hogan finally makes an entrance after a number of rather-nostalgic motorcade segments (fuck the haters who hark back to 2001, that brought back memories of '97!) and what does he do? Tells his old out-of-shape nWo buddies to effectively go fuck themselves.
This was brilliant booking.
Leading up to this moment, the collective IWC voice smugly chided TNA for their likely decision to bring back the old guys and try to re-do the whole nWo angle that proved so popular: the young guys would be overlooked, Hogan's cronies would take centre stage. And what does TNA brilliantly do? What does - nooo! we can't praise him! that's not what we does on the internet - Vince Russo brilliantly do?
They listen to us.
Not only with Hogan's promo putting over the future stars while dismissing the drunken pleas of Razor and the 1-2-3 Kid, but with each skit showing those two and later the Nasty Boys being rejected entrance into the building, it was brilliantly done. Unsuprisingly, most on here shit on almost every segment, but that's no doubt a result of the shock they felt that a wrestling company *actually listens* to their audience!...
Posted By: Chungles (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 07:46 AM
Can't help but feeling that TNA may have shot-its-load in a big way. Do they have any plan? At least WWE seem to have some plots ahead. But anything that makes WWE feel like they have to try - even a little - is good, so I hope TNA have more than some surprises in store.
I know people always said Jeff Hardy follows his own rules, but his move to TNA is simply baffling...
Posted By: Guest#6227 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 08:01 AM
...
Not a surprise though to anyone who isn't deluded by the anti-Russo rhetoric that constitues much of the IWC. The reality is, we have this bad image of the guy because all we hear are disgruntled old-timers and traditionalists bashing the guy because he didn't stick to the same formula or overlooked their boring styles. He came in, saw that wrestling had to reflect modern times, and changed it. Those unwilling to change bitch, and the IWC regurgitate.
Yeah, unrestrained by McMahon, the guy has made HUGE mistakes. He can certainly be accused of being a self-serving asswipe, aswell as a disrespectful prick, but the fact remains: his background, his approach and his success were NEVER going to win over many of those involved in wrestling. They'd have been happy to remain shitting out the likes of Adam Bomb, Doink the Clown and all that cookie-cutter crap that makes watching those old RAWs such a chore nowadays; they refuse to accept - still - that the success of the Attitude era was down to wrestling FINALLY holding a mirror up to the times: reflecting the violence and sex, wrestling changed forever thanks in large part to Russo.
Why wouldn't the old-timers bitch?
Jim Cornette makes alot of good points about the guy, but the fact remains, alot of the dislike undoubtedly stems from a slight jealousy that this young punk working in a video store was allowed to come into the WWE and quickly achieve high status among the top brass. Ignore the fact he breathed life first into the WWF magazine and then WWF programming all you want Jim, but it's a fact.
So you add all the shoot comments from these disgruntled guys to the skewed retrospective of Russo's involvement in WCW, and you end up with a negative image of the guy. Many criticisms levelled at the guy sure hit the spot, but they almost uniformly fail to recognise the fact - the constant fact - that Russo, more than anyone, listens to the fans.
He's right when he says that he didn't ruin wrestling, the internet did. Anyone reading the live report last night can see what a pathetic bunch of assholes the internet wrestling community is comprised of. Smart to the wrestling business you may be, but the majority of you are retarded morons.
TNA need to move to Mondays permanently. Disregard the ratings for last night, disregard the sad whines of fat nerds on their keyboards: fulfil the potential last night admirably displayed. Go live, verbally attack the WWE while at the same time showing how superior your product really is (give me The Pope's chocolate over Morrison's vanilla promos any day. Even in a gay way), make the most of your added star-power and move out of Orlando, and soon, we'll actually have a new Monday Night Wars.
The IWC will still bitch. But they'll be watching.
Posted By: Chungles (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 08:10 AM
Considering he admitted he was a WWE mark, how can anyone read this article and get a unbiased review. This guy mind was made up on what side he was going to favor before the shows even aired.
Posted By: Rock Bottom (Registered) on January 05, 2010 at 08:14 AM
"Because with TNA's reliance on nostalgia, there was really no way for the WWE to top that."
Umm. You DID watch RAW, right? Where they had Bret Hart come out and talk to HBK about something that happened 12 years ago and McMahon kicked him in the nuts, which has been happening for 12 years, and they talked exhaustively about the event from 12 years ago, and Mike Tyson will be hosting the show, who was also a big part of events in WWE from 11 years ago, and WWE has brought in every single act over the past 9 years from years past (including the NWO, their own version of ECW, Hulkamania, etc, etc)
But, yeah, TNA is hung up on nostalgia.
And since Turning Point didn't even make your top PPVs of 2009, it's pretty obvious how large of a WWE mark you are.
"but I will be retired before then. Seriously."
Thank the Lord for small favors.
Posted By: Guest #1234 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 08:21 AM
TNA blew WWE way way way out of the water tonight. Bret Hart's return was a huge letdown, from the opening segment with Michaels falling like a thud. They really wet the bed with the biggest return in pro wrestling history, but that's what you get when you have Hollywood writers booking a wrestling show.
TNA on the other hand felt special.....like it was the biggest moment in wrestling history. While the first hour could have been done way way better, the rest of the show was a homerun. On this night.....even though the ratings won't say so....everyone knows that TNA won.
Posted By: Guest#6343 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 08:24 AM
I think TNA won the battle last night. Raw was very "eh." But in the end I think things will return to normal. And is it just me or does TNA need to trim their roster?!? Shannon more hired and immediately fired. lol
Posted By: Diablopepe (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 08:51 AM
I think it's funny that TNA gets accused of being too "nostalgic" and WWE gets a pass. Seriously, the big draw of WWE's show was 1. Bret, 2. DX, 3. Big Show/Jericho, and 4. McMahon. Ummmm...these dudes are all old school too.
Posted By: Jason (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 08:59 AM
I didn't think TNA or WWE's shows tonight were earth shattering by any means. Bret's return was solid but it didn't change the course of wrestling history by any means. TNA's show ws very WCWish and I think they missed the boat by having too many suprises. Many of the guys that debuted tonight such as Hogan, Hardy, Flair, Hall/Waltman and others would have been better off debuting on different episodes of Impact. But that would also require a level of patience we know that TNA and Russo do not possess. My advice is TNA:less is often more, slow down a little. You've got a roster that can compete with the WWE but you hot shot everything to the moon and shoot your wad.
Posted By: Jake Fury (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 09:02 AM
You chose the first hour of Impact over ROH?
Wanker!
Posted By: ROH (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 09:15 AM
Well it is obvious that your humor isn't for me. At least you admit your mark-hood for all things WWE up front. RAW was pure disappointment and I flipped back and forth all night. Yet I will still tune in to watch IMPACT again Thursday when it gets replayed. Raw did nothing to make me excited for what will come with Bret, but what it did do was disappoint me with how low Bret sunk to return...standing there taking abuse form Vince in that closing segment.
TNA won the night far as content by a mile....they will carry better ratings due to history. The way you seem to view things just proves that this column isn't for me and I doubt I return to read it any longer. I like the smarter things on 411...or at least the pieces that try to be smarter anyway.
Posted By: Hopper the man (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 09:23 AM
I thought the Small-For-All segment of the year was the introduction of Ninja Dog and Duncan Hines brownie from Hungry Man dinner. Please bring these two fan favorites back soon.
Posted By: Ultra Gepetto (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 09:33 AM
Wow, that's Bubba the Love Sponge. No wonder certain people are destined to the radio.
and also destined to be internet scribes.
Yes, Smallycakes, I went there.
WHAMMY !
Posted By: Big Fat Fag (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 09:41 AM
Dude you watch Jersey Shore?
Posted By: hateman (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 09:43 AM
The HBK/Hart segment was great. I feel like you thought too much of the Vince segment. Ooooo...a kick in the balls. Wow!
Posted By: Guest#0832 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 09:56 AM
Impact was better in terms of shock value.
I think the WWE fans may have high hopes for Bret harts return...It was not going to live up to that.
Posted By: elvylanda (guest) (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 09:58 AM
"Would I be the only one who would mark out for a hummer driving into Hogan's limo?"
LOL I was thinking the same thing, when they kept showing Hogan's limo.
Posted By: Guest#8954 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 10:14 AM
TNA had the "Anything can happen" feel that has been missing in any show for a long time.
So TNA wins that one.
I watched the Fiesta Bowl (which no one seems to be mentioning will kill any hope TNA had of making a dent in the ratings) then watched TNA and marked like I was 12 years old for the first time in a long time.
Then I watched Bret, fast forwarded to DX/Hornswaggle, watched a little of the JeriShow/DX match and the end of Raw.
Eh, TNA wins. But only behind the Fiesta Bowl.
Posted By: Guest#8756 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 10:23 AM
TNA was a much better show. RAW was just same old, same old.
Posted By: Guest#6096 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 11:46 AM
Bret Hart and Chris Jericho with an awesome backstage segment.
Seriously, you dumb idiot, it didnt look that great and cmon everyone agrees, tna put on a better show, its sometimes not only about wrestling, this show was intriguing, and had suprises, so your an epic fail in your review
Posted By: Guest#7304 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 11:47 AM
My favorite Raw-Impact moment was after the opening Raw/Hogan promo, when each show put on a woman's match. Impact had an awesome tag match while Raw had some floozy flailing around incompetently. I went to Impact and didn't look back.
Posted By: Guest#5856 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 11:48 AM
TNA TNA TNA TNA TNA
Posted By: true (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 12:14 PM
what's Jersey Shore and did that guy really punch that chick out?? that short clip looks like he F'n KO'd her!
Posted By: Huh? (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 12:24 PM
Take out the spastic booking and the endless string of commercials, and I also think Impact was better than Raw. TNA at least tried something new to them. WWE gave you the same old shit, plus Bret Hart.
Posted By: Steve307 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 12:48 PM
Epic Wonder Showzen reference.
Wow has the tide turned on 411mania. Not less than a month ago you guys would shtting all over TNA and now you can't rush fast enough to give the Hulkster and Dixie verbal BJs. Not that I'm complaining, seeing as I'm a big TNA fan.
Just wait for 3 years when they go under and then everyone will say how much they sucked and how WWE was always better.
Posted By: lilwayne1 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 01:42 PM
Well sadly us UKers won't see Impact until Friday but it sounded like a vastly superior show to Raw.
Passable as Raw was there was still way too much talk and not enough wrestling and I'm not sure even Bret appearing regularly would be enough to make me watch start watching Raw again.
Posted By: RockerDropper (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 01:59 PM
I thought that TNA put on the better show tonight, Raw was too predictable.
Posted By: Brian (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 01:55 AM
----------------------------------------
TNA was predictable because we all knew it was going to suck.
Posted By: Squid Vicious (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 04:15 AM
Oh a WWEMark hating on TNA for no reason other than it isn't WWE. How refreshing! Do you know what really sucks? Hornswaggle joining DX, Letting Bret and Shawn hug, and your mom. Wait did I say your mom? Yeah I said your mom.
Posted By: JWestmoreland (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 02:12 PM
Sure TNA was a better show, but despite the anti-climatic showdown, Bret coming out (I can't believe they redid his song that almost ruined it) and then being face to face with Shawn in the ring was as big a markout moment as you can get. I literally had chills watching this. Sure it seems underwhelming but I like the setup to what should be a fun WM angle.
And say what you will, but I bet the entire IWC was on the floor seeing Bret and Shawn shaking hands.
So yea TNA had the better show, but WWE is the one to put on a money drawing angle. I hope the effort by TNA convinces McMahon to step it up. He can shake it off all he wants, but Hardy showing up on TNA is this generation's Luger walking out on Nitro. You have to know Vince won't take this lying down, ratings or not.
Posted By: FRS (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 04:04 PM
Jeff Small, Vince needs his ass wiped. you better hurry.
Posted By: Shane (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 04:19 PM
"we were all expecting something more than a man huge between bret and hbk."
_______________
Funniest. Typo. Ever.
In the short term, I think Impact beats Raw on overall interesting happenings for this particular monday night, but Raw has planted a seed or two with Bret Hart, Vince McMahon, and maybe even Randy Orton (I'm holding onto hope for a Hart Dynasty/Legacy feud that would get some young guys over AND give the nostalgic folks something to cheer for, too - but who knows) that will extend beyond a potential one night ratings pop. That's often something WWE does well that TNA doesn't - plan ahead.
It's a marathon, not a sprint.
Posted By: BJC (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 04:19 PM
For lack of a better way to put this:
TNA is like a horny 15 year old blowing its load all over the place, never getting a steady rythm, never really thinking about what it's doing, and leaving everyone generally unsatisfied in the long run.
If you are between 14 and 17 you should watch this show.
For everyone else, watch how a storyline is SUPPOSED to slow build over a number of weeks, like the Bret Hart angle will, and enjoy.
Oh and Chungles, WTF man? If you want your own column then apply for the job but get the hell out of the comment section with that crap.
Posted By: Just Saying (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 04:30 PM
TNA has won b/c even on pro WWE sites everywhere I've been its been praise towards TNA and bad show for WWE outside of Hart.
Posted By: ManagableWrestling (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 05:34 PM
TNA was all that was bad about the end of the WCW era. Heel Bischoff. NWO. Nasty Boys. Back stage beat downs, run ins, Dusty finishes, video packages that contradicted what was actually said (Hogan in the back all day?) angles gone nowhere (the guy who got out of the black limo into the white), Sting back in the rafters, a huge Hogan lovefest, Hogan giving all his friends paychecks (Bubba the Sponge, Nobbs and Saggs), Hogan NOT putting over the little guys (Kurt Angle and THE CHAMPION, AJ Styles didn't need his rub), rules and contracts being made up or ignored as the show goes along, guys showing up and doing nothing (Flair, who walked into AJ Styles dressing room a full 1 1/2 hours before AJ was even suppossed to be in the arena, illogic (Bishoff, who they said was in the company for awhile, never met the champ before?), announcers not knowing what was going on, and OLD GUYS GALORE- Flair, Foley, Hogan, Hall, Nash, Waltman, Bishoff, Nasty Boys, Sting, Jarrett, etc, the young guys getting screwed in the first match, and the hiring of Jeff HArdy, showing that TNA doesn't care that he's likely off to jail, and TNA may not have much of a drug policy either.
I feel like I saw this exact show ten years ago.
Posted By: bmj2k (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 05:58 PM
"You dorks on the IWC really need to get over Maryse. She's fucking terrible. Awful wrestler, and about as UNOVER as you can get. You guys are like "OMG it's a hot chick, I've never seen one of those before". I guess the male adults in the crowds must get alot more pie than you, because if she was as over with them as she is with you, she'd be getting Hogan like pops."
Maryse isn't the only great looking woman WWE has, so she obviously has more going for her than that for her to be getting so much attention.
Posted By: Guest#5666 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 06:00 PM
For lack of a better way to put this:
TNA is like a horny 15 year old blowing its load all over the place, never getting a steady rythm, never really thinking about what it's doing, and leaving everyone generally unsatisfied in the long run.
If you are between 14 and 17 you should watch this show.
For everyone else, watch how a storyline is SUPPOSED to slow build over a number of weeks, like the Bret Hart angle will, and enjoy.
Oh and Chungles, WTF man? If you want your own column then apply for the job but get the hell out of the comment section with that crap.
Posted By: Just Saying (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 04:30 PM
i agree,TNA may have "won" the battle but in wars there a lots of shots fired and their shot was a botched steel cage match,hogan and more overhyped hogan,ric "im on my retirement tour"flair,jeff "im going to jail"Hardy and not alot else,yes RAW didnt have a great show but are building to some great storylines heading into mania..
heres a question for you all:would you fly over seas to watch a TNA PPV?I wouldnt,but I am flying half way across the world for mania....
Posted By: melissa (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 06:29 PM
"You dorks on the IWC really need to get over Maryse. She's fucking terrible. Awful wrestler, and about as UNOVER as you can get. You guys are like "OMG it's a hot chick, I've never seen one of those before". I guess the male adults in the crowds must get alot more pie than you, because if she was as over with them as she is with you, she'd be getting Hogan like pops."
Maryse isn't the only great looking woman WWE has, so she obviously has more going for her than that for her to be getting so much attention.
Posted By: Guest#5666 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 06:00 PM
What? The fact that she acts like a cartoon character, yet still isn't over. If she has so much going for her, how come she gets no reaction? None of her fans have been able to explain that to me yet.
She sucked last year, she sucks now, and she will suck a year from now. Once Johnny Ace hires some more whores from his dirty magazine collection, Maryse will be moving on to the porn industry, where she belongs.
Posted By: Guest#3757 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 07:31 PM
Oh and Chungles, WTF man? If you want your own column then apply for the job but get the hell out of the comment section with that crap.
Posted By: Just Saying (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 04:30 PM
Ha Ha Ha
This talk all seems way to serious for the small for all report.
Posted By: Guest#2219 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 08:00 PM
The WWE has seen what TNA can do, now its their turn to counter. How bout we get some Punk vs Danielson for 30 mins on a Friday night?
Posted By: Guest#8096 (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 08:02 PM
People ripping on Bret's appearance should shut the fuck up and wish they would recover so well from a stroke and having half their body paralysed.
Posted By: AngryTas (Guest) on January 05, 2010 at 08:17 PM
what's Jersey Shore and did that guy really punch that chick out?? that short clip looks like he F'n KO'd her!
Think it was zack ryder.
Posted By: Madness (Guest) on January 06, 2010 at 12:26 AM
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