Ask 411 Wrestling 01.06.10: Understanding Khali, Underselling Angle, and Undertaker's Length!

Posted by Mathew Sforcina on 01.06.2010

When did tag ropes come back into style? How did Mike McGuirk get her name? Was Steamboat screwed? Has anyone lasted a career without injury? And in the same company? Did Betamax get a wrestling video? All these, plus I definitely and conclusively prove which is the very worst Royal Rumble Number to draw!

Hello, and welcome to this, the first Ask 411 of the new decade! Although technically that's a lie, since there was no year zero and thus a decade is XXX1-XXX0.

Actually, even more technically, it's true, since a decade is really just a length of time, and thus new ones begin all the time. One just started now. And another. And another.

I sadly cannot fully comment on the Monday Night Wars 2K10!!!, since neither show has been shown down here, so I can't comment in any detail, suffice to say TNA seems to be 1 step forward, 11 steps back, 9 of them being Tara losing the title. Although on some level, that level of Crash TV booking does make sense, in the "Anything Can Happen On Nitro/Fans Tune In For Boobies and Blood in WWF" logic.

Anyway, in tribute to Hell Freezing Over on Raw and TNA's New Found Attitude, we're going to have a few questions sent in this week, since they follow on from last week's somewhat.

Backtalking

The Fink's Replacement: Brett suggested that the man replacing Fink during that time was Manny "Doc" Garcia, who at some point dressed up in medical garb to hand out t-shirts, although that was about all the info he had on him. So maybe him.

Triple Belt Holders: I had forgotten Kurt Angle's 4 Titles At The Same Time Angle, so I guess he's the current Non J-Crown Champ. Lance Storm's triple belt win was, as I understand it, the result of a bet between two people booking that Lance Storm couldn't get over, so someone gave him that push to prove he could get over.

The Match That Made Me Want To Be A Pro Wrestler: HHH V Cactus, MSG, Street Fight, WWF Title, Royal Rumble 2000.

Your Turn, Smart Guy…

Yes, the answer was Debra, and yes, she was a member of the Horsemen. They had an entourage, and the entourage was part of the group. Just like Dark Journey can say she was part of the Horsemen. But if you disagree… Well, you disagree with me.

Who am I? I appeared as part of the Monday Night Wars 2K10!!! this week, having debuted back in the 80's. I've appeared in AWA, WWF, WCW, ECW, Japan, and TNA. A superstar with a pennant for chokeslams and bulldogs at various points in their career, I've never won a World Title but held plenty of gold regardless. I once threw a title in the trash, I once threw a title away by turning on a partner, and I tend to throw lots of other things as well. Who am I, obviously?

Questions, Questions, Who's Got The Questions?

First up is one of the new ones, thanks to Casey.

What's the deal with Vader wearing the full mask in his match with Hanson? Did he wear that often? Other than that match, I've only ever seen him with the little mask he wore in WCW and WWF.

Well, that was part of a much larger mask system.



Vader would enter with this mask on, which looked quite fearsome and shot smoke. This was part of the original backstory of how Vader got his name and persona, Vader being a figure from Japanese Folklore how fought for his village for 72 hours straight. Which sounds silly for a character concept, but then Jushin "Thunder" Liger was based around an anime character, so why not?

The Mask was part of this double system, and made it to North America when he first debuted for WCW.



But once he stopped using the overmask and was no longer playing a huge samurai character, he went to his more familiar mask now, probably out of comfort, the lesser mask is less stuffy.

neverAcquiesce asks about an obvious dirty trick that Eric Bischoff didn't go for.

I had forgotten the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship was part of the J-Crown. Why didn't WCW ever stress the fact that Ultimo Dragon was so dominant that held the competitions belt. Yes, it wasn't a recognized title in the WWF until late '97, but it would've still been a feather in the cap for Bischoff and company. I know WCW took the cruiserweights for granted but this seems like a no-brainer. Then again, we're talking about WCW.

OK, I need to explain how the belt existed to explain why Bischoff didn't push it.

The WWF Light Heavyweight Title did not exist, in WWE History, until 1997. That title, that was part of the J-Crown, wasn't a WWF title, despite being called it. It was created by the Universal Wrestling Association, which was a Lucha company in Mexico with slight delusions of grandeur. Inside Mexico, the company was called Lucha Libre Internaciónal, and the UWA was their governing body, in a sort of fake NWA/WCW relationship.

What the company did have, however, was working agreements with New Japan Pro Wrestling, Japan Women's Pro-Wrestling and, importantly, the WWF. And as part of that arrangement, they had permission to create a WWF title, to be defended on their shows.

That's the thing, UWA had the right to use the belt, and you can argue that New Japan MAYBE had a claim. But thus saying WCW had a right to use it was really pushing it, 3 jumps is pushing.

So, yes, Bischoff could have said that Ultimo held a WWF title once. He would then get sued by WWF, and this would lead to WWF suing UWA and New Japan, and them suing each other, and Dragon getting tied up from using the J-Crown while the mess was sorted out. And for a man who wants to keep his working arrangements strong since it was helping him get all these kick ass matches on TV, he'd want to avoid such messiness.

Not that it wouldn't make a great line, just one that's far too messy.

J.R wants to get a song.

Hello and a Happy New Year to you. No multiple questions here, just one. The World Wrestling Federation used a theme, almost like a variation of Van Halen's "Right Now".



The song plays at the 2:21 mark. Now my question is if you can give a link or something so that I can download it and put it on a CD? If you can, it would be greatly appreciated, if not, thanks anyway and taking the time to read my question.

Sadly not. WWE's library of stock music either bought or written by Jim Johnston is huge, and pinpointing any song that's not an actual theme song is pretty much impossible. I mean, just look at how many song's he's legally written!

That said, I know that some smart people out there can isolate a song to some degree. No idea how to contact them though, so unless one of them's reading…

And now onto the older stuff!

Joe is up first, relatively speaking.

Mathew,

Great column. Was hoping you could go a little into detail about the WWF's All-Star Wrestling. This seems to be the "forgotten" show of the early to mid-80's. Everyone remembers Championship Wrestling (the "A" show), but there doesn't seem to be much information out there regarding All-Star Wrestling. (Besides whatever you read on Wikipedia, which isn't much help.)

I believe it was another syndicated show, but I'm having a hard time remembering anything from it, unlike Championship Wrestling. And there are sources out there that say ASW was aired on Saturdays, same day as Champ. Wrestling, which is a little weird. If ASW was syndicated in the US, were both shows aired on Saturday? If not, did people who didn't get Champ. Wrestling get ASW?

Thanks and keep up the good work.

Well, the show began as a WWWF show, so it was quite old, in terms of when it first started airing, 1974 it began airing. Their taping schedual was sproatic at best, they'd only record the show in Hamburg maybe 3-6 times a year, according to The History of WWE site. At any one taping, however, they'd do anything up to 20 matches, so they only had to record every while and they had enough matches for a few months.

If you want to see what the show was like, at least one match from the show has made a DVD, Hulk Still Rules has Hulk winning a handicap match while he was a heel under Blassie from the show.

Suffice to say, it's safe to say that heading back to the same building every show eventually outlived it's usefulness, and thus they changed the show to allow them to tape wherever they wanted.

As for days of it airing, Championship was the A show, and while some markets might only have the A show and lose the B, there was never a market that had B and not A. Hence, if there were markets where they showed on the same day, it was probably at different times. All Star at 1, Championship at 4 or some such.

But anyone out there remember seeing All-Star?

John asks about tag ropes.

I've watched plenty of Tag matches, one of my favorites to remember being when Austin, Undertaker and Dude Love faced The Hart Foundation in a Flag match, where Austin went half the match solo because Dude took so long arriving at least Kayfabe anyway. I've noticed the ropes on the pipe that holds the turnbuckle to the corner post but I don't remember in those early year matches, when did WWE start using the small string/rope for partners to hold onto during the match while they waited?



Ah, the humble tag ropes. The tag ropes, which are there theoretically as the rope you must hold onto to be a legal tag but are really there to choke people out with, have come in and out of vogue in the WWF for years. It was an old school idea that got lost during Attitude, and then came back only recently when Los Guerreros needed more ways to cheat and be loved.

Suffice to say that it's hard to pinpoint the moment when they stopped using them, more that you can say that they died out in Attitude and came back with Eddie and Chavo.

Victor may already have been satisfied.

I remember that right before Ravishing Rick Rude retired as an active wrestler, he was supposed to fight Vader at Slamboree 94. Both guys were heels, and heel vs. heel matches were rare back then. Were there any plans to turn one of them face? I can't really see Rude as the face, but it seemed as if Vader was still in the middle of his "unstoppable monster" phase and wouldn't have been a logical choice to turn to the good side. Or was the match just a one-off by a company deciding to try something new?

Thanks! I love the column.

I covered this a while back, albeit briefly, since I had to go and misread his other questions. But yes, WCW seemed intent on putting this out there as Heel V Heel, although I'd wager that the match would probably have been booked with Vader playing face, to see if A) he could and B) if Rude could work against a bigger, stronger face opponent and make it work, to set him up for Hogan. But either way, I wouldn't see the match leading to a permanent turn, just a one off.

Philippe has some questions.

Hey! Still reading your column every week! It's the best! I've come up with a few more questions:

1. Has any wrestler never been injured in their entire wrestling career?

No. It is physically impossible to have a career as a pro wrestler and not get some injuries, sore backs, bruises, cuts, wrestling takes it's toll even if you do it perfectly, you'll get hurt. You just hope it's not major.

As for avoiding major injuries… I can't think of anyone who isn't really young. Even a guy like Tito Santana, who is renowned for being injury free, he messed his knee up a couple times. Flair got an injured arm, so even if you discount the plane crash, he's not injury free.

But yeah, outside of really young guys, and/or obscure guys that 99.99% of us have never heard of, no wrestler has ever avoided moderate injury for their entire career.

2. Which wrestlers have only worked for one major company? For example I think John Cena has only ever worked for the WWE. The Rock too I think.

Yeah, Cena and Rock have worked for just one major company, emphasis on the word major. I'm sure I'm going to forget people, but, off the top of my head, JBL, Matt Hardy, Trish Stratus, Kane, Brock Lesnar, Edge, Randy Orton, Batista… Miz… I mean, after this point it's all current guys. I know I will get yelled at below…

Will Helm has some questions (as does Jake, apparently, I have their names listed together…

Mathew:
Keep on doing what you're doing, because you're doing it well. And now I bet you all have LL Cool J stuck in your heads. (I'm talking to the audience, which is why I switched to plural.) Anyway, here's some questions for future perusal, mostly having to do with famous firsts:

1) What was the first US wrestling videotape released commercially and officially -- i.e. through the WWWF, WWF, NWA, etc., rather than a bootleg or fan-cam? In addition, what wrestling videotapes were released on Betamax, if any?

Well, the very first WWF home video I can find record of was the Coliseum Home Video #001, "Wrestling's Bloopers, Bleeps, & Bodyslams", which came out in 1985. NWA, the earliest I found was 1987.



Given the time frames, I would have to say that it's pretty unlikely any of them ever made it to Betamax. By the time 1985 came around, Betamax was practically dead in the water, and it just would not be cost effective to make them on Betamax as well.

2) Who first came up with the Russo Work-Shoot Axiom "Everything you see is a work, except what you're seeing now, which is real" and when was it postulated?

Scott Keith, while ranting on Bash At The Beach 2000.

As well, here's a question about mid-/late-'80s WWF mid-carders:

3) Were there any heel "JTTS" wrestlers in the Hogan era? I seem to remember a lot of "JTTS" faces -- Koko B. Ware as the most significant -- who would build up Hogan's next monster opponent, and, as well, a few heel jobbers to build up IC division faces, but I can't remember any higher level heels who would get a couple wins and then lose big build-up matches.

Keep on keepin' on.

Well, no, because they weren't needed. A face near the top of the card in the Hogan era would either be chasing the IC title or teaming with Hogan, so they didn't really need heel JTTS, since they tended to feud with the IC champ or whoever was feuding with Hogan, so at no point did they need a JTTS to win over. I guess you could argue that any heel who had had his run with Hogan could qualify, but really the role wasn't required, so no-one fits the description.

This is from 2005, so you may have seen it. If not, this is some of the finest commentary ever recorded for some of the worst wrestling you'll ever see.

Someone hire this announcer now!

Next up, possibly riding a tricycle, is Damien.

2 Questions for you:

1. It's clear that the Great Khali doesn't speak great if any English. With that being said, how does he and other wrestlers like him communicate in the ring with their opponents?

Well, firstly he has to speak some, given his movie roles. But yeah, let's assume for the minute that he's not able to hold up any witty banter in English.

That said, Wrestling does have it's own language that is fairly universal. I've seen Japanese wrestlers plan out a match with Australians, neither speaking a common language, still be able to work out a match and work it fine. A clothesline is a clothesline anywhere in the world. And Khali, given that he doesn't do anything complicated, doesn't have that much to think about. The level of English he has is enough to work matches. I mean, in one Rumble, he understood HBK telling him to ‘Work the hard camera', so he's clearly not an idiot.

2. Are wrestlers who barley wrestler obligated to appear at all shows wither it's a house show or live event, or do they get called when being used at a show? (Festus, Slam Master J, Charlie Hass)

Well, Festus is different now, but the point still stands. There are two camps here.

Occasionally, WWE will pay someone and keep him at home. Stevie Richards got paid to stay at home for several months, and Charlie Haas, who recently got a raise, is being paid to stay at home. When that's set in, WWE has to call him up to get him to turn up.

However, most of the time, lower card guys are expected to turn up to every event they are scheduled to. Just because they don't wrestle, doesn't mean they aren't doing stuff. Running drills, testing aspiring wrestlers, trying out new moves, the lower card guys can always find something to do or help out with. Certainly punctual attendance is seen as a plus. Just look at Sheamus!

Tom Jones asks after a woman. Typical.

Hey what ever became of Mike Mcgurk (sp)? I grew up with her and the Fink as annoucers. Could she ever make the hall of fame? Would Heenan induct her...she always seemed to be the butt of his commentary. I know this last part might sound like an opinion question but...what parents would name their daughter MIKE?

Mike McGuirk left the WWF in 1993, supposedly, according to Penthouse magazine, because she refused Vince McMahon's sexual advances. She's never stated this, and what's probably more likely is that after Sherri Martel got fired, given that the two of them travelled together, she chose to leave. She's made the occasional appearance in the ring since then, including a 07 WWE House Show where she introduced a Tag Title Match.

I'm not sure she's a mortal lock for the Hall of Fame, but she's a good a pick for a filler entry as any. They can play up the path she blazed for female announcers and such, although with that angle, you kinda need a female announcer about to induct her and to claim she's an inspiration. So maybe after they find another female announcer, they'll induct her.

I doubt Bobby will, given that Bobby… He's not great, alas.



Mike did actually cover her name in one of her goes as a commentator. Her father was Leroy McGuirk, a promoter in the Tri-State area. And when she was born, Leroy so wanted a boy that he named his new baby boy Mike without checking the sex (or mistaking it, it's been a while since I heard the story). Thus, she was stuck with Mike. At least it's memorable.

One more question, from Stephan.

I recently watched a video that had Ricky Steamboat vs The Honky Tonk Man. The match is where Honky defeats Steamboat for the Intercontinental Championship. At the end of the match, It seems as if Steamboat gets the roll up and gets a 1 count on HTM, the HTM reverses it and the ref counts 2 and 3, thus giving HTM the win and the title. I know that Steamboat had been slated for a significant title run, and then requested time off for the birth of his son which sort of angered Vince. When Steamboat got up, it seemed as if he was surprised at the finish. Question: Was there any "screw jobs" involved with this, or did Steamboat know he was going to lose the title?

Any excuse to post a video…



But no, there was no Screwjob as such, beyond the kayfabe one. Steamboat was just selling the shock of losing the title, to the Honky Tonk Man, on such a wonky result, they were all caught up in the ropes, he only was pinned for 2, etc. He was just selling well, there was no screwjob. Screwjob victims either get really angry or they laugh out of embarrassment/anger.

Different question, same topic. Is it true that Butch Reed was supposed to be in this match? If so, why did he not show up for the event, and how did they choose HTM to take his place?

This is another bit of kayfabe, although a broken one. The idea that Butch Reed was his scheduled opponent may be correct, but the idea that he didn't turn up is silly in that after Honky wins it, he celebrates backstage, and there, with him, is Butch Reed.

But the idea was to give Steamboat an excuse of sorts. He wasn't prepared for Honky, and Honky then stole it. As for why they gave it to Honky, the current theory is that he was meant to be a stopgap, a quick reign to get the belt off Steamboat and onto Jake Roberts, based on their feud, Roberts being considered the next best thing to Steamboat. But with his injuries due to the guitar shot, they chose not to give it to him, and Honky ended up having his reign. So the story goes.

My Damm Opinion

Jason has a question I'll admit I've put off for a while.

I registered on 411 just so I could ask you this......

This may have been asked before, but....I was looking back on the 100th episode of WCW Monday Nitro (8/4/97). Could that have been the BEST Monday night wrestling show ever? (it featured a Ted Dibiase "turn", a Sting contract offer, DDP vs Flair, AND a Hogan vs Luger title match. AND the title changed hands.) It also featured virtually every WCW wrestler that was hot at the time. (Savage, Giant, Hall and Nash, The Steiners, plus a Benoit vs Sixx match.) Secondary question: Since it was the last Nitro before "Road Wild '97" - was it the best "go home" Monday night show before a PPV?

I kept putting this off because I wanted to make some effort into answering it. But really, it keeps coming back to the bane of the reviewer: Personal Taste.

You can say that any certain episode of a show is the best, but when you get right down to it, that's just the episode you like best. Even if a lot of people agree with you, it's still just personal opinion.

So I'll let you guys discuss it, but suffice to say, my pick for best Monday Show is probably either the Raw that saw HHH tear his quad and lose the tag belts, or if you think an episode can't feature Benoit and be the best ever, The Atlanta Raw that saw ECW reform. Even with the crappy ending.

John finishes us off this week.

I have a two questions for this segment of "Ask 411 Wrestling".

1. Do you think that it is counter-productive to present Mike Knox as an "intelligent masochist" who has an innate understanding of the human anatomy and medical oddities, but at the same time treat him as a jobber so other wrestlers can have that "I beat a big guy" claim? Personally, I think Knox should be billed as a threat, and the crowd's apathy towards him is because he's expected to lose, no matter the opponent.

Well, yes and no. Yes, it's silly to hope that he'll be over despite losing to everyone and their mother, and if WWE honestly think he's over, then they're high. That said, at least he has some sort of gimmick, which is better than most jobbers. Plus, if they ever do wanna push him again, all they have to do is give him a new move, like a nerve pinch that makes people's legs stop working or something, and it's logical as to why he's now winning matches (he came up with this new move!). It's never counter-productive to give a guy a character, it's just that sometimes you wonder why they bother.

2. Also, with the Royal Rumble coming up, and this is from a kayfabe standpoint, but what would consider to be the best and worst numbers for a guy to enter from? I've done some research, and the 3rd entrant has been the first guy eliminated 11 times, so I consider that to be the worst number, but I want to know what you think should be considered the best and worst entry numbers.

Well, let's treat this with some fuzzy scientific method.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

Which Rumble number is the worst? Well, first of all, you have to remove any number that saw someone win from it. If someone has won from it, it can't be the worst, clearly.

4 6 7 9 10 11 12 14 15 16 17 19 20 21 26

So these are the numbers from which no-one has won. Well, next we remove anyone who was the Iron Man of the match, or had the Most Eliminations in a year. If they made one of those records, then it can't be worst.

9 11 12 14 16 17 20 26

Well, let's look at these in turn, comparing who entered under that number, eliminations, and time spent in ring. Then we can analyse.

9 Danny Davis, 0, 17:51. Shawn Michaels, 1, 14:30. Bad News Brown, 1, 6:04. Jake Roberts, 1, 12:58. The Texas Tornado, 0, 9:20. Genichiro Tenryu, 0, 13:17. Billy Gunn, 0, 0:14. Kwang, 1, 4:01. Yokozuna, 3, 19:14. Pierroth, 0, 10:32. Owen Hart, 1, 12:00. Tiger Ali Singh, 0, 4:02. The Big Boss Man, 3, 22:47. Perry Saturn, 0, 5:02. Matt Hardy, 0, 4:16. Bill DeMott, 0, 2:13. Matt Morgan, 1, 12:14. Shelton Benjamin, 1, 14:35. Kane, 1, 3:33. Shelton Benjamin, 1, 22:22. Hornswoggle, 1, 26:57. JTG, 0, 11:59.

11 Don Muraco, 3, 16:16. The Honky Tonk Man, 0, 4:12. Andre The Giant, 2, 10:16. Tito Santana, 0, 30:23. Greg Valentine, 0, 4:12. Skinner, 3:05. Randy Savage, 1, 4:38. Owen Hart, 0, 0:03. Takao Omori, 0, 2:48. Mil Mascaras, 3, 7:28. D'Lo Brown, 1, 32:21. Mabel, 5, 1:26. The British Bulldog, 1, 15:22. Grand Master Sexay, 0, 1:03. Maven, 1, 3:34. B-2, 0, 0:24. Booker T, 1, 9:11. Chris Jericho, 2, 28:22. Carlito, 2, 38:29. CM Punk, 1, 27:16. Jamie Noble, 0, 0:28. Chris Jericho, 1, 37:17.

12 Nikolai Volkoff, 1, 11:40. Tito Santana, 1, 12:47. The Red Rooster, 0, 1:58. The Undertaker, 3, 14:16. Nikolai Volkoff, 0, 1:03. Koko B. Ware, 0, 8:31. Jeff Jarrett, 0, 1:19. Timothy Well, 0, 0:23. Savio Vega, 1, 12:28. Hunter Hearst Helmsley, 0, 6:42. Kurrgan, 2, 3:38. The Road Dogg, 3, 10:41. Gangrel, 1, 23:19. The Honky Tonk Man, 0, 1:16. Scotty 2 Hotty, 0, 2:36. Rob Van Dam, 2, 32:56. Kane, 0, 1:30. Luther Reigns, 1, 7:13. Chris Benoit, 2, 30:31. King Booker, 1, 09:23. CM Punk, 0, 13:50. Mike Knox, 0, 32:42.

14 Ron Bass, 2, 10:14. Marty Jannetty, 1, 7:52. Haku, 2, 22:31. Davey Boy Smith, 3, 36:43. Hercules, 1, 0:56. The Bezerker, 1, 5:21. Doink The Clown, 0, 1:48. Jacob Blu, 0, 0:17. Doug Gilbert, 0, 2:59. Goldust, 1, 5:33. Ken Shamrock, 1, 9:15. Kurrgan, 0, 6:54. Bob Backlund, 1, 2:00. The Goodfather, 0, 0:14. Diamond Dallas Page, 1, 5:15. Eddie Guerrero, 0, 16:29. Rikishi, 1, 3:48. Orlando Jordon, 0, 3:36. Joey Mercury, 1, 29:14. Jeff Hardy, 0, 3:38. Umaga, 1, 26:05. Finlay, 0, 29:59.

16 Hillbilly Jim, 1, 5:55. Arn Anderson, 2, 10:00. Akeem, 0, 2:31. Hawk, 2, 6:37. Jake Roberts, 0, 10:55. Terry Taylor, 0, 0:24. Mabel, 1, 9:57. Mo, 0, 0:03. Samoan Sway Team #2, 0, 0:24. Marc Mero, 0, 3:53. Mankind, 1, 2:40. Goldust, 0, 4:02. Crash Holly, 0, 14:54. Bradshaw, 0, 17:40. The Godfather, 0, 2:48. Rosey, 0, 10:16. A-Train, 0, 1:44. Charlie Haas, 0, 6:20. Johnny Nitro, 2, 25:45. Randy Orton, 2, 27:14. The Miz, 0, 13:07. The Undertaker, 3, 32:29.

17 Dino Bravo, 2, 8:12. Tully Blanchard, 1, 8:02. Jimmy Snuka, 2, 17:03. Shane Douglas, 0, 26:23. Jim Duggan, 1, 20:45. Damien Demento, 0, 12:27. Sparky Plugg, 3, 21:33. Mabel, 1, 1:58. Owen Hart, 0, 20:43. Latin Lover, 0, 1:47. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust, 2, 26:04. The Godfather, 0, 1:40. Chyna, 1, 0:37. Albert, 0, 15:53. Albert, 0, 0:48. Test, 1, 18:45. Shelton Benjamin, 0, 0:37. Rene Dupree, 0, 11:32. Trevor Murdoch, 0, 13:41. Chris Benoit, 3, 17:52. Shelton Benjamin, 0, 0:18. Goldust, 0, 1:11.

20 Junkyard Dog, 0, 2:08. Koko B. Ware, 0, 1:08. Jim Neidhart, 1, 8:42. Crush, 18:34. The Undertaker, 1, 13:51. Jerry Sags, 0, 21:50. Greg Valentine, 1, 20:39. The Mantaur, 0, 9:33. Tatanka, 1, 4:09. Jesse James, 0, 0:46. Ahmed Johnson, 0, 3:18. Billy Gunn, 0, 7:05. Al Snow, 1, 17:17. Val Venis, 0, 10:22. Val Venis, 0, 2:58. Rikishi, 0, 14:10. Rico, 0, 1:06. Kurt Angle, 1, 0:37. Rob Van Dam, 3, 30:52. Johnny Nitro, 1, 6:18. Kane, 3, 17:58. Shelton Benjamin, 0, 4:17.

26 N/A. The Barbarian, 2, 11:15. Shawn Michaels, 0, 0:12. Jim Neidhart, 0, 11:11. Hulk Hogan, 4, 11:29. Rick Martel, 0, 11:23. Rick Martel, 1, 11:22., Steven Dunn, 0, 4:29. Fatu, 1, 7:07. Mankind, 2, 12:20. Savio Vega, 0, 9:29. Mark Henry, 0, 7:57. The Big Show, 4, 11:12. Scotty 2 Hotty, 0, 0:46. Kurt Angle, 2, 16:09. Maven, 0, 8:19. Charlie Haas, 0, 6:53. Snitsky, 1, 3:38. Chris Masters, 1, 7:01. MVP, 0, 7:31. Chavo Guerrero, 1, 7:33. The Brian Kendrick, 1, 0:15.

So, firstly we rank by Total Eliminations, and eliminate based on that...

9 16
11 24
12 18
14 17
16 14
17 17
20 13
26 20

So it's clearly not 11 or 26, 20's the cut off point. Next, we eliminate via total World Champion entries…

9 4
12 8
14 5
16 4
17 2
20 4

So, not 12 or 14. So, let's compare their best efforts, in terms of elimination and time in ring.

9 Yokozuna, 3, 19:14, Hornswoggle, 1, 26:57
16 The Undertaker, 3, 32:29
17 Chris Benoit, 3, 17:52, Shane Douglas, 0, 26:23
20 Kane, 3, 17:58, Rob Van Dam, 3, 30:52

16 has the best length, and 20 has had 3 twice, so they are both out. And so, we are left with 9 and 17. And their worst efforts?

9 Billy Gunn, 0, 0:14
17 Shelton Benjamin, 0, 0:18

Thus, I have definitively proven that the single worst number to draw in the Royal Rumble, at this stage, is #9!

And with that, I realise how long I just wasted, so goodnight all.