wrestling / Columns
Wrestling’s 4R’s Friday Edition 1.08.10: Raw, Impact and ECW Reviewed!
Follow Jeremy on Twitter!
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma
By: Jeremy Thomas
Raw 01.04.10:
QUICK RESULTS:
Maryse d. Brie Bella [DUD]
MVP d. Jack Swagger, Mark Henry & Carlito [* 1/2]
D-Generation X d. Chris Jericho & The Big Show [*** 1/2]
Sheamus d. Evan Bourne [*]
Randy Orton d. Kofi Kingston [** 3/4]
AN OPENING SEGMENT TWELVE YEARS IN THE MAKING: Raw kicked off with quite a bang, as the WWE production crew gave us another fantastic video package, this one celebrating the highs and chronicling the big ol’ low of Bret Hart before recapping last week’s HBK/Vince in-ring segment. Great stuff from them as always, and then we cut to Justin Roberts in the ring announcing the Hitman himself. I gotta admit, the guitar screech got me again. Then out came Bret himself, in a leather jacket with pink highlights and a pair of sunglasses. Sadly, they were not his old Hitman sunglasses, but I’ll take what I can get. Bret looked damn good for a guy who hasn’t been in a wrestling ring in a good long while; he was clearly older, but didn’t look broken down and he sounded like a natural on the mic. People give him a hard time for not being a great promo guy in his day, but he sounded confident and cool on the mic. There were a couple moments that seemed a bit disingenuous, like when he mentioned trying to come back again and again but getting shot down by Vince, but I was willing to let those by. Bret talked about good memories like winning King of the Ring and getting jumped by Lawler after.
Bret then called out Shawn Michaels, and I don’t know about anyone else but I got goosebumps. The anticipation for this was something that was very real, and that fans of Bret and Shawn—or like me, of both—have been curious to see for twelve years now. Bret talked about burying the hatchet and was clearly playing the super-face on this one. Shawn, on the other hand, had no qualms about airing his feelings about Montreal and how Bret deserved what he got. This was played out perfectly and you could see the emotion running through both men’s faces. The crowd was incredibly hot for it, of course. There was a moment where it seemed like Shawn might go full heel here, but in the end he was just a guy who was willing to let go. They both aired their grievances, scripted or not, and they did a handshake…interestingly, to a bit of booing from the crowd. The fans in Dayton wanted to see them fight, but they were happy to see them reconcile too. Then we had the perfect moment where Shawn subtly teased the superkick. It was so nicely executed, and the crowd knew it might be coming, but they didn’t go there and instead gave us a truly surreal moment where these two bitter enemies hugged. Is all forgiven and forgotten? Clearly not by the look on Bret’s face. But in terms of the storyline it is, and that makes for something more compelling than having them fight it out the way a lot of people may have expected. This was flat-out riveting, to me at least, and while I don’t expect everyone to have loved it I sure as hell did. Afterword, we got Bret calling out Vince to no response, which set things up nicely for people to still anticipate what might be coming.
MIZ & MARYSE SEGMENT: I’m separating this from the Butterfly Title tournament match because while that sucked, I enjoyed the developments here. Maryse was making her way up the ramp when Miz came out and played the asshole that had the title lording it over the hot little number who taunted him months before. These two have a fabulous chemistry between them, and Maryse’s reactions to Miz’s taunting were awesome. Points also to her for tossing the hand up as she walked away…it wasn’t the most hidden highlight ever, but it was an example of how good Maryse is at staying in character. No one would have said anything bad if she hadn’t done it, but adding in the little touches like that does wonders.
D-X/HORNSWAGGLE/SANTINO GOOFINESS: Backstage, ‘H was showing off the new WWE action figures to Hornswaggle and treating him like a six-year-old. Shawn showed up and did not approve, and ‘H said leprechauns are born with beards on Wikipedia. Or something like that. Hunter then called in Santino Jericho, who priceless played off Jericho’s act before the H-Man sicced Santino on him. See, once again they’ve learned how to use Horny in segments that are more or less harmless and actually funny. I could complain about demeaning leprechauns by treating them like dogs, but I don’t think the pot of gold demographic watches anyway. Plus, it seems to be vaguely building DX tension, so we’ll see where that goes.
D-GENERATION X vs. CHRIS JERICHO & THE BIG SHOW: Backstage, Chris Jericho and the Big Show were busy talking about how they had a plan for the Unified Tag Title match and how neither of them wanted Chris to leave Raw. The bromance is officially in their third act, and it’s about time for the dénouement. He went to go see Bret and tried to bring up the good times during the Hart Dungeon days. Jericho asked Bret to be the guest referee, call things down the middle and then when the opportunity came, screw Shawn. Bret played the face again and said he didn’t want to relive Montreal, and he didn’t want to be a hypocrite like Jericho. This was a nice little segment between the two of them and I enjoyed it.
Afterward, we got the match, and the despite this being a seriously pro-Hart crowd they popped for D-X just fine. This was the first hour main event and served that spot well as the two teams are undeniably great and the crowd loves them (or loves to hate them). Still, there are times than all four of these guys just don’t click right; luckily, this was not one of those times. Show looked very impressive in there, more so than usual, and he had a lot of involvement in the match while Shawn and Hunter spent a lot of time doing whatever they could to knock the big guy down. They utilized Hornswoggle but it was very brief and didn’t bury anyone; particularly the end spot, which saw him get sacrificed so that ‘H could beat Jericho for the win and to send Y2J off to SmackDown for good. Frankly, I think this is a good thing as losing week after week in the hunt to stay on Raw isn’t doing him a lot of good. I enjoyed and appreciated this match and it made for a great way for them to pop the crowd and give the show a much-needed injection of quality wrestling.
A BRIEF TRIBUTE TO DR. DEATH: People are giving the ‘E shit for doing this one and not doing one for Umaga, Test and others. Bite me, people. You can complain about the lack of moments for others, but there’s a world of difference between Williams and some of the other guys. I don’t blame them for not going too big on Umaga and company, because their deaths were suspect and the last time they tried to give a tribute to a guy whose death was suspect they were crucified for it. (No, I’m not comparing the manner of Umaga’s death to Valde-noit’s so take a Valium and relax.) The point is, the ‘E clearly wants to honor their fallen former employees, but there are times when a mention on WWE.com is enough, and anything more would give the slanted news media an opportunity to slam them. Hell, as it is Marc Mero is probably going to include Williams’s death in his new set of statistics. But either way, this particular moment was a rare show of class form the ‘E and I’m not going to criticize them just because they don’t do it all the time for people.
RANDY ORTON vs. KOFI KINGSTON: After getting told by Vince to go to hell, Orton walked off only to find Cody and Ted there waiting for him. They swore that if Orton didn’t beat Kofi they’d kick him out of Legacy and kick his ass. Nice touch, guys. Now, I feel they didn’t build this enough since it was billed sort of as the feud-ender between these guys, but they did have a good bit to cover so that only hurts it a touch. I have been a large and vocal fan of this feud and I had high hopes for this match. They weren’t met unfortunately, but that’s sure as hell not to say it was a bad match. As Priceless looked on from ringside, Orton battled Kofi and the two both had very solid periods of control. I actually wasn’t positive about the result until the end, because I thought maybe Orton would lose but Cody would side with him over Ted, but as it turned out that wasn’t going to be the case. I just felt like this match had a bit of a “been there, done that” feel to it until the end of the match. It picked up at that point and had a really solid set of reversals and counters, until Orton hit the RKO for three. So Kofi probably goes to a less high-profile feud, but I’m sure they’ll eventually have a segment or two again down the road. I would have liked to see something involving less cooling of Kofi’s push, but otherwise I was all right with this.
MVP vs. JACK SWAGGER vs. CARLITO vs. MARK HENRY: Only MVP and Swagger got entrances here, so we all knew who wasn’t winning this one at least. These guys went out there and put on a pretty tolerable match. It was way, way too short mind—these guys pretty much wrestled for a total of about three minutes and there just wasn’t enough time for these guys to do anything special. Mizark’s “reverse Torture Rack” looked shockingly unimpressive, and only the finish got any sort of a pop from the crowd. On the plus side, they finally named a legitimate number one contender to the US Title and hopefully they’re going to turn this into a real, honest-to-the-gods feud instead of a couple of matches and then being forgotten. Again this wasn’t terrible at all, but there wasn’t anything all that good about it either.
SHEAMUS vs. EVAN BOURNE: We got a recap of Sheamus losing his match last week via disqualification and how Sheamus kicked Cena’s head off. Sheamus then came out—again to a solid crowd reaction, and this time without Cena already in the ring for the crowd to boo. He gave a heat-drawing promo about how he was standing over Cena as he promised last week and wouldn’t be facing Cena at the Rumble, then trashed Bret a bit for more crowd heat. You know what, people may not like Sheamus’s in-ring or mic skills—I think both are solid if not great—but the crowd hates him with a passion, and it doesn’t have the “X-Pac heat” feel to it. Things were going well until Bourne came down and got on the mic. Now, some people may feel Sheamus is unspectacular on the mic, but Bourne just flat-out sucks. We got a match here where Bourne was trying to get a title shot at the Rumble, and….yeah, we all knew that wasn’t happening. But to their credit, they tried to make Bourne look like he had a tenth of a shot for a moment there. Bourne got the big pop with the Air Bourne, and then promptly got his ass handed to him. Say what you want, but no one takes an ass-kicking like Bourne. He looked half-dead from the way he folded up on both the kick and the Razor’s Edge, and that helped Sheamus look dangerous. This wasn’t great and I would never call this a “Right” segment or match, but it worked thanks to Bourne’s in-ring skills and Sheamus’s dominance.
BURYING THE HATCHET…IN BRET’S CROTCH: After the opening segment, we had a confrontation between Bret and Vince to look forward to. They built this up a few times throughout the show, starting with Josh Matthews informing Vince via interview that Bret had called him out. Vince responded by saying that he would have a public discussion but on his own terms. We then got a wonderful segment backstage where Randy Orton tried to get Vince to let him kick Bret in the skull in exchange for the #30 spot in the Royal Rumble, to which Vince told Orton to screw off. I loved this bit of continuity because not only did Orton and Vince do a great job, it played to Orton’s character of wanting to kill Legends and to the idea that Vince may hate Bret, but he hates Orton more. The point is, the heels don’t always get along…and frankly, this even teased that maybe Vince wouldn’t be a heel by the time the confrontation rolled around.
When Vince came out, he tried to be all nonplussed and no-sell Bret’s attempt to call him out. He talked about Iron Mike Tyson—and isn’t it ironic that Iron Mike is hosting Raw the week after Bret, when Tyson’s appearance in the Attitude Era of WWF came on the heels of Bret’s departure? Anyway, I thought that Vince tried to play it evenly down the line, and this seemed like it was going to play out like a redux of the opening segment. Just the similarity of it made it blatantly obvious how much it wasn’t going to play out that way. I think the only question was whether Bret was going to nail Vince or Vince was going to nail Bret…and the fact of the matter was, the crowd was going to treat Vince as the heel and Bret the face either way. Honestly, I would have rather seen Bret nail Vince, because it wouldn’t have changed the reaction any and it would have made for something more interesting, as Vince would have had reason for revenge. They went the more predictable route and that’s okay, I’m still intensely interested to see where this goes but I think it would have played out better the other way. I think the only reason this suffered was by virtue of comparison to the opening segment, but that was still enough to leave the show just a little disappointing and I wish that it could have been something more.
MARYSE vs. BRIE BELLA: Whoa boy. So here we go…the Bellas are some of the worst wrestlers in either of the Big Two. And as I’ve said before, I enjoy Maryse but she is not ready to carry untalented workers like Nikki and Brie in the ring. This was about as bad as I’d hoped. Maybe it was just a little bit better, as there were no truly blatant botches, but Brie was sloppy in the ring and looked completely unconvincing in her offense. Word of advice Brie: don’t go for a fancy variation of an arm drag when you can barely pull off the regular version. Brie also got too much offense on a former Butterfly Champion here, though at least some of it was due to Nikki’s interference. Maryse then took over and…well, didn’t do a whole hell of a lot herself. I appreciated them having Maryse be bright enough not to fall for the twin switch, but otherwise this match just sucked.
DID YOU KNOW?: Nope. And, as always, I don’t care.
| The 411
Wow, there was a lot to enjoy about this show and it had some of the greatest segments we’ve seen on WWE Monday night programming in some time. We got a great tag team match, a solid (if someone disappointing) feud-ender between Kofi and Orton that lets Randy move onto Ted and of course Bret’s return. I think the biggest problem was that, outside of Bret, this didn’t seem like a “major league special” episode of Raw and thus it suffers on such a supposedly special night. This doesn’t make it bad at all and if they can keep this level of quality up while tightening up the flaws, I’ll be happy. SHOW RATING: 7.5 |
From fanboi13:
It is funny you say that Punk’s pre-match promo was ‘reminiscent of an evangelist”. It reminded me so much of a certain disgraced 80’s evangelist that I almost expected Luke to start crying rivers of Mascara. lol
“I expect very little from the divas outside of them being attractive”.
Your entitled to your POV,but if I just wanted to view attractive women I would look at a SI swimsuit issue. I am a fan of women’s wrestling because I want to see women wrestling,not models rolling around on the mat and putting on craptacular catfights.
I was thinking more Billy Graham (no, not the Superstar) than Jim Bakker, but yeah either way. I actually like this turn to his character, it’s playing out nicely and I hope we see this subtle shades continue. As for the Divas and attractiveness, I completely agree. Not much more to say there.
From prankstar:
Not sure if this has been mentioned before but with CM Punk turning into a straight edge saviour type character don’t you think that the beard adds to that Jesus feel?
I wasn’t thinking Jesus, more of a sort of militia-type cult leader fanatic. And honestly, I think that’s more the feel they’re going for, and it’s the smarter move to make.
From The Great Capt. Smooth:
I’m trying to think of what will happen with Rey/Batista next week. A Batista domination? A Rey roll up? Or a double pin/DQ?
Double Pin/DQ is the most likely, I think. They’re trying to build to a three-way, and you don’t do that by putting one over the other in any fashion.
From thedick203:
Maryse, even as a heel, gets more of a pop than many on the roster. Maryse is one of the most over heel females in the WWE. I would rather see the belt on her HOTTTTTTTT body with a nice voice than the bad acting,NO HEAT HAVING michelle mccool. McCool, even with the belt, is less over than Maryse.
From Guest#4861:
Maybe my TV is really low but in the last few years the only women I hear get a reaction is Mickie James and Vickie Guerrero. I’m sorry but last time I went to Raw a few weeks ago the crowd was SILENT for her as well.
From fanboi13:
Maryse gets a reaction but it is relatively mild compared to the push she gets. Gail gets no reaction because she is booked like shit!
Well, and she’s booked like shit because her in-ring work is spotty from time to time. Maryse clearly gets a reaction. It’s not a Vickie level of reaction, but it’s definitely there. And yes, I would much rather have Maryse on-screen than Michelle. Michelle has more talent in the ring, but Maryse is improving in that aspect and she’s better in personality as a heel. This is not me saying “Maryse hot, Michelle not, Maryse wins” or anything, I just thing that when all aspects are considered she makes a better heel.
By: Chad Nevett
iMpact! 01.04.10:
QUICK RESULTS
– X-Division Steel Asylum Match ended in a no contest [3/4*]
– ODB defeated Tara (C) for the TNA Knockouts Championship [*1/2]
– Awesome Kong and Hamada defeated Sarita and Taylor Wilde (C) for the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship [***1/2]
– Matt Morgan and Hernandez defeated Dr. Stevie and Raven [DUD]
– D’Angelo Dinero defeated Desmond Wolfe [**1/4]
– Samoa Joe defeated Abyss [**3/4]
– AJ Styles (C) defeated Kurt Angle for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship [****1/4]
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – SARITA & TAYLOR WILDE vs. AWESOME KONG & HAMADA: Where was this match last week during the all-Knockouts episode? This wasn’t just a great example of the quality of matches that the Knockouts can put on, but was also an example of a good tag match. Both teams worked extremely well together, often doing moves in tandem or setting the other up to complete a move. The dynamic of this match was quite different from a singles’ match, which far too few tag matches feature. Hamada continued to prove herself one of the most versatile wrestlers in TNA, male or female, as she alternated between various styles. I love her headbutts and how she gets her whole body into them. With the three quicker, more agile women Awesome Kong didn’t look as coordinated as she normally does, but that was more than made up for with the flawless teamwork she and Hamada showed. I don’t just look forward to a rematch between these two teams, I demand one. If this was their first match all together, just imagine how smoothly future ones will go…
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – AJ STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE: We have our frontrunner for best free TV match of the year four days into the new year. Slated to be the main event of Genesis, this match got moved to Impact by Bischoff much to the delight of AJ, Kurt, and anyone who likes wrestling. Prior to the match, both Styles and Angle put the other over and set the match as a contest of skill rather than a personal grudge. I love personal feuds, but I think I like feuds based purely on seeing who the better man is more, if only because they happen a lot less. Early into this match, I was worried when the man-in-black stormed the ring to attack Styles, but everyone collectively decided to forget that ever happened and continued on with the match. Both men were in top form, executing moves and counters seamlessly. Since Angle and Styles have faced each other so many times, they really worked the counters to one another’s moves, and the match became a test of who could outthink the other, who could pull out a surprising move or combination of moves to catch the other off guard and capitalize. Ultimately, the Phenomenal One came out on top, but only having to use three Styles Clashes and a few high flying moves. Aside from the run in, my only complaint was Earl Hebner’s annoying telegraphing of near falls in his count since that took some of the suspense away. Otherwise, TNA did something very right by putting their two best guys in the main event of their most important show to date.
DESMOND WOLFE vs. D’ANGELO DINERO: Beginning with the Pope’s backstage promo, which was strong until Orlando Jordan interrupted it, this turned out to be a nice little showcase match. Both men did what they do best with Wolfe doing some very nice submission moves and brutal beating, while Dinero was flashier and picked up the fluke win. I say fluke only because Wolfe was more impressive and has been holding his own with Kurt Angle, while Dinero hasn’t been involved with any of the main eventers. But, this victory elevates Dinero (amazing how quickly Wolfe can do that) and I just wish it had been given more time.
ABYSS vs. SAMOA JOE: Instead of the promised barbed wire-themed match with Rhino, Abyss gets a regular match with Samoa Joe thanks to Rhino being one of the victims of the ‘random’ backstage attacks. Thank god, because this was almost assuredly better, but it still didn’t rise too far above the level of ‘mediocre.’ Both Abyss and Joe are talented and put on a decent match for not wrestling one another much in the past, but it was also slow and lacked that special extra level of quality that you’d expect from two of TNA’s bigger stars. Whereas Wolfe and D’Angelo didn’t get enough time, this one went too long. It actually seemed like they literally replaced Rhino with Joe immediately prior to this match beginning, because this match went along without any real direction.
X-DIVISION STEEL ASYLUM MATCH: When your first match has the crowd chanting “This is bullshit!” you’ve got problems. Taking a cue from their PPVs, TNA decided to begin Impact with eight guys from the X-Division put inside some sort of structure with the idea that they’ll impress us by trying to kill themselves. Using a bright red cage with big thick bars didn’t work, because you couldn’t actually see what was going on inside the cage and, even then, the action wasn’t impressive. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to see that no one nearly killed themselves… except for Homicide and his climb that looked very dangerous. Before that, the match was cut short by Homicide’s use of a weapon, which was against the rules…? I can’t remember the last time I saw a cage match of any kind end with a disqualification. A complete failure. TNA should have taken a cue from other indy promotions and done a much simpler four-on-four tag match that allowed these eight guys to clearly demonstrate their in-ring skills rather than this clusterfuck that went nowhere except to make me worry for Homicide and introduce Jeff Hardy ¬— which brings me to…
JEFF HARDY AND RIC FLAIR ARRIVE AT THE IMPACT ZONE: Rumors swirled about both Flair and Hardy signing with TNA, especially on Monday itself, but seeing both actually there was something entirely different. Hardy entered after the Steel Asylum match, mixed it up with Homicide a little, and, then, climbed atop the cage. Later in the episode, he was seen painting while hanging out with Shannon Moore and, apparently, left the show with a contract. Flair, on the other hand, arrived in a limo, went to AJ Styles’s dressing room, and watched part of the main event. Big surprises, but so what? Neither one actually did anything other than make people go “Wow, they’re here!” And then what? You need more than surprise to produce a quality program.
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – TARA vs. ODB: ODB won the tournament on New Year’s Eve to, basically, get a rematch for the Knockouts Championship. The match began well, both women very passionate as this feud has been personal, and, then, it just sort of ended with a confusing finish because TNA couldn’t show Tara’s ass. They cut away from ODB pulling her tights in such a way that it was unclear that she actually did it. With Tara beating ODB up after the match, I imagine this feud continues, though this match makes me wish otherwise.
BOBBY LASHLEY WANTS HIS RELEASE…?: When Hogan spoke later about forgetting the past, this must have been what he was talking about, because wasn’t Bobby Lashley just a face in his feud with Scott Steiner? And didn’t he also win that Thanksgiving tournament and earn a world title shot? Must not have, because, now, he wants out of TNA because he doesn’t like it there and would rather focus on the super-classy world of MMA. An odd turn that might have worked if anyone at TNA actually cared, but Kristal’s encounter with Eric Bischoff backstage suggests no one does. So why should I?
“TIME FOR A CHANGE” aka HULK HOGAN FINALLY ARRIVES: This was pretty much what I was afraid would happen. I made the decision to watch Raw on Monday and tape Impact for a couple of reasons (one of them in case I wanted to rewatch anything while writing this), but flipped over once or twice. One of those times, I only stayed on Impact for two or three seconds and what I saw was Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff on one side of the ring, and Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, and Kevin Nash on the other, and I did not look forward to watching Impact. The short version: thanks to DVDs and the internet, I can watch and rewatch the nWo in action, I don’t need or want to see them make another go of it in 2010.
The long version, beginning with some questions: if Hogan was in the back all day, why did he arrive in a limo? Why was Bischoff in another car and felt the need to join Hogan by stopping the cars in the middle of the road and hopping from his to Hogan’s? Why does Hogan’s limo have a police escort? Since Hogan and Bischoff were backstage and worked on the show all day, why did Bischoff rip up the format for that night’s episode presuming he helped create it and already signed off on it? Why did he decide to assert his authority an hour into the show after not being present for the first hour? How are things going to change?
That last question was the one that bothered me throughout this the most. Hogan talked a big game about how Monday’s episode was historic and the biggest night in TNA history and how things are changing and forget the past and everything starts now and… failed to actually articulate how things are changing beyond an ambiguous ‘people need to earn their spot’ idea. Was that not the case already? All he accomplished was suggesting that TNA sucked prior to this, but offered no credible alternative ideas. It was a lot of talk without anything back it up and while that may impress many, I was really hoping for something a little more tangible beyond Hogan telling his old running buddies that things are different now. How?
Speaking of which, the less said about the inclusion of Scott Hall and Sean Waltman the better. I couldn’t be the only one who maintained his interest mostly by watching to see if/when Hall would just fall down while stumbling around the ring. Of course, later in the show, things were complicated when the trio attacked Foley much to Bischoff’s joy/encouragement and Hogan’s… whatever you want to interpret his expression as. Disappointment maybe?
MATT MORGAN & HERNANDEZ SQUASH DR. STEVIE & RAVEN: I love that Morgan and Hernandez were made to look dominant here as both guys have a lot of potential and have been knocking on the main event door. And putting them over Raven and Dr. Stevie, two faces that older fans would recognize, is a great way to do it on an episode meant to bring those, and newer, fans to TNA. But, a 30-second squash match isn’t the way to do that as neither Hernandez nor Morgan had much of a chance to show off their skills, and Raven and Stevie looked like weak little punks that will be hard to take seriously at any point in the future. Unlike many of the returning veterans, these two guys still have some small shred of credibility, so maybe giving them and their young opponents at least a few minutes to establish themselves would be a better use of time than, say, the Nasty Boys.
JEFF JARRETT SPEAKS: I think, honestly, if the show began with this segment, I would have liked it more. The founder of TNA comes out, talks up the company and its history, and Hogan’s interruption is his introduction to TNA. Its placement in the show was awkward and anticlimactic. By that point, I didn’t care what Jeff Jarrett had to say, especially since it was a lot of empty rhetoric that didn’t accomplish what it was meant to: namely, set Jarrett up as a heel resting on his laurels and not ready to work his ass off to prove himself. Hogan’s statements about Jarrett were pretty spot-on, but, if CM Punk and Chris Jericho taught us anything over the past year, telling the truth in wrestling usually just pisses people off. The goal of this segment was to put Hogan over as a face more in opposition to the heel Jarrett and it didn’t accomplish that.
THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE STRIP POKER: If I want to see T&A, I’ve obviously got an internet connection and, online, I can see a whole lot more. Maybe if this segment had some wit or charm or entertainment value, it would be worthwhile. But, wow, the Beautiful People don’t know the proper order of hands in poker! Val Venis wants to play! What was the point of this exactly, except boring me?
STING IS IN THE RAFTERS!: Because it wouldn’t be a Nitro retread without this moment…
MICK FOLEY BANNED FROM THE IMPACT ZONE: So, all of Mick’s power over the past year was actually worthless and nonexistent? Granted, that wasn’t the best of stories (though I did enjoy the part of the angle where he threatened to only defend the world belt once a year), but crapping on it like that simply makes me wonder how long it will be before the next person in charge of TNA arrives and Hogan and Bischoff are running around, wondering why Dixie isn’t taking their phone calls. By undermining past stories, similar present stories lose their power… just as burying your opponent prior to a match makes you look bad, too. Mick’s antics this episode were worse than previous ones since he’s presumably still a TNA employee in kayfabe and, yet, he’s banned from showing up to work? And, despite being banned, he’s got a TNA camera crew following him around? This part of the show had one good point: it got Hogan away from Styles and Angle after their match.
BACKSTAGE ATTACKS: Throughout the episode, various wrestlers were all left laid out in attacks: Rhino, the Motor City Machine Guns, and Beer Money, Inc. No information as two who the attacker is or why he’s attacking these people, or why oh why TNA didn’t have that Beer Money/British Invasion match, favoring this lame angle. Apparently, Bubba the Love Sponge knows who perpetrated these attacks, but didn’t bother saying, because that’s how you build tension. Too bad I don’t care. Also, thanks for interrupting that very good Knockouts tag match with this crap.
BUBBA THE LOVE SPONGE AND THE TNA FANS SPEAK: Way to kick off a show. Instead of providing actual content or something to prove how great tonight’s ‘historic’ episode is, we get a radio host shoving a microphone in front of people not involved with actually making the show as they say that TNA is awesome and the WWE has no idea what’s in store for them. Do any of these people know what’s coming? If not, who cares? Instead of having your fans talk you up, do something great and prove it. Why would you waste the beginning of a show aimed at bringing in new eyeballs with bullshit like this?
THE NASTY BOYS TRY TO GET IN, FAIL, EVENTUALLY SUCCEED AND, THEN, TRASH TEAM 3D’S DRESSING ROOM: Does anyone want to see this? Anyone? No one? Then why the hell did this waste ten minutes of my life?
| The 411
I came into the show with guarded optimism. I wanted to see a fantastic episode and what I got were two great matches that could have been on any other Impact, Hogan or no Hogan. In fact, we saw Styles and Angle a few months ago and the Knockouts tag match was scheduled pre-Hogan. On the other side, some of the worst parts of the episode had nothing to do with Hogan like the Beautiful People segments, and two awful opening matches. If you ignore Hogan and company’s involvement, it was the sort of show that TNA has been putting on for a long time: wildly uneven, moments of greatness and abject failure separated by commercial breaks. The involvement of Hogan and company along with airing live on Monday raised the expectations and made it obvious that TNA had to deliver one of their best Impacts ever. That didn’t happen as the inclusion of Hogan and new faces amounted to a lot of talk or promises of things to come, but absolutely no implementation of anything new or different from what we’ve seen in TNA to date. Even wasting time on over-the-hill veterans is nothing new to TNA. The episode was titled “Time for a Change,” but delivered the same mix of one or two fantastic matches and a whole lot of wasted potential, and abysmal backstage segments. Thank god for that final match. SHOW RATING: 4.0 |
By: Jeremy Thomas
ECW 01.05.10:
QUICK RESULTS:
Shelton Benjamin d. Chavo Guerrero [** 1/2]
Ezekiel Jackson d. Vladimir Kozlov [*]
CM Punk d. Mark Henry [**]
SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. CHAVO GUERRERO: You know, a few months ago I would have laughed at these two facing off in any tournament to earn a right for a Brand’s title, even ECW’s. However with Shelton’s rebuilding and Chavo’s solid performance a couple weeks back alongside Show on Raw, I had some hope here that this might be a rebuilding segment where both men were treated like legitimate wrestlers. That was, more or less, what we got and thus this was a rare moment to enjoy Chavo’s ring work. This wasn’t the greatest match both could have put on but it was solid in a technical level and both had some moments of pretty slick offense. I actually found myself hoping that Chavo would win because it would give him a chance to stay on ECW where he’s taken a little more seriously, but I had no problem with Shelton winning either. This was a very decent little match that started off the action on the show nicely.
NOT A WARM HOMECOMING, PUNK? ECW started off with the champion himself Christian making his way down to the ring. You know I have to say, that platinum phoenix ECW belt has never seemed to look right since it sat on Henry’s waist. I think it’s just a matter of the title being designed for a short term look—because it really DID look good on Henry. But I digress. Christian came out and talked about the ECW Homecoming Tournament. He didn’t get long to talk though before CM Punk and Luke Gallows came out. Punk got on the mic and cut Christian off so he could say something that was apparently more important. Apparently Christian thought it was funny though, because Shawn hugged Bret and CM Punk is back on ECW. Yeah, okay…not such a hot one, Captain Charisma. Punk basically laid out that he was going to claim every title ever and save everyone. Chris Jericho wants his promo from SmackDown a couple weeks ago back. This had its moments, but on the whole this lacked somewhat considering the mic ability both men have, and it hits a middle of the road level by higher expectations for these two men. Sorry, guys.
CM PUNK vs. MARK HENRY: This was our main event of the evening, as well it should have been. People can bitch about Punk being a glorified midcarder (for the record I quite disagree), but he’s the biggest star that appeared on the show this week and Henry runs a close third behind Christian. I almost feel bad for Mizark because he got beat in two attempts at contending for a title in two days between the US Title on Raw and the ECW Title here. This started off kind of slowly with Henry in control, then Punk turned it around on the outside and took control. This was booked to be about what one might expect from these two, with Punk using his kicks and strikes to wear the big guy down. The strategy was sound and it made for a decent match, about as good as one can expect from one involving someone as generally slow as Mark. The finish was a dirty win for Punk but I didn’t mind that at all, Punk gets the win and rolls on into the ECW Homecoming finale which I’m totally fine with. This wasn’t a great match at all but it worked well enough.
RYDER IS A DOUCHE, NEWS AT ELEVEN: So last week was Tommy Dreamer’s last match of course, and we got a nice little recap of said moment before Zach Ryder came out to gloat. This was Zach’s opportunity to build on his heat from ending Tommy’s WWE career, and to say he fully succeeded is a bit much. The crowd just wasn’t reacting to him the way I think the ‘E wants them to, and while I think Zach’s carved out a nice little career from the jaws of “Future Endeavors”, he just doesn’t strike me as a guy who will make it past the lower midcard anywhere else than ECW. This didn’t give me any reason to change that opinion.
VLADIMIR KOZLOV vs. EZEKIEL JACKSON: Yeah, because I really wanted to see this match happen. We got a recap of what had happened in recent weeks, then got the individual entrances where the crowd clearly didn’t give a shit about either of them. It’s pretty sad to think that Kozlov was considered a serious contender for the SmackDown title a year ago, and nowadays he couldn’t draw heat with a gasoline and a Zippo. These guys had a slow, plodding match that had nothing of real value to it. Let’s face it, they just don’t work well off of each other at all and it’s time to pull the plug on this feud. Neither of them gave anyone in the crowd a reason to stop sitting on their hands and while this wasn’t “early worst match of the year contender” material, it sure as hell sucked.
Nada!
| The 411
This was a decent show from ECW…hardly fantastic, but harmless and not bad by any stretch. I would have liked to see less Kozlov vs. Jackson and more Shelton vs. Chavo, and there wasn’t anything fantastic, but I could certainly think of worse ways to spend a Tuesday evening…and it set things up for next week nicely. That’s all they really needed to do. SHOW RATING: 6.5 |
Until Monday, keep on kickin’ it!
~435~
More Trending Stories
- Becky Lynch On Her Reaction Backstage After Nia Jax Punch, Jax Apologizing
- Note On Why First Swerve Strickland Promo As World Champ Was Saved For Collision
- Tony Khan Reportedly Wearing Neck Brace Backstage After AEW Dynamite Attack
- WWE Announces Draft Rules & Talent Pools, Champions on Each Brand Are Now Protected
