Match A Day 01.13.10: Week 39 - Straight Edge SummerSlam

Posted by Jake Chambers on 01.13.2010

CM Punk and his clean lifestyle reigns supreme over the pro-wrestling landscape, the importance of the IC Title division, who is to blame for terrible matches, and more!

Drinking, drugs, smoking. Wastes of time. Eating meat, swearing, promiscuous sex. All stupid things for humans to do. Straight edge WWE superstar CM Punk champions the clean living lifestyle, and I think he has a very good message for the youth of today.

I am not religious, as I find it impossible to believe in magic, but I can have faith in the concrete changes that can be made in life when someone takes personal responsibility for their own actions, and nothing represents that more than those who buck peer pressure and have no ‘demons' to excuse terrible choices in life that hurt others and make themselves look like idiots. Jeff Hardy is one of these idiots. I have always liked Jeff Hardy as a wrestler and he has had some great matches, and even though he's a person I've never met, his documented drug use that has continued to jeopardize what could be a legendary pro-wrestling career, makes me, a lowly, blog-writing nobody, laugh at him for his stupid addiction. CM Punk, for what it's worth, kayfabe for not, babyface or heel, is absolutely right about everything he had to say about Jeff Hardy and his fans over the summer, leading up to their main event at SummerSlam '09.



And now MAD Week 39 can begin…



[All Matches are from WWE SummerSlam '09, August 2009]

Match #262 – Sunday, December 20th
Intercontinental Title Match: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

A fantastic pay-per-view opening match; probably the best one all year. The WWE has been conscious of strengthening the IC Title in the past couple of years, but particularly since Rey Mysterio got involved in the contender tournament, that ended in the awesome finals match against CM Punk at last year's Armageddon. I think Rey encapsulates the spirit of the IC division perfectly, as it should be a place for main event level performers who don't have traditional main event body types or haven't broken through to the mainstream level. The matches should be as important and high impact as the main event matches, although they should contain more move variety, stronger back and forth, while the heavyweight, world title division should remain for variations on the typical heel/face struggle arc, with plenty of big finishers in important places. Neither should skimp on the near falls, but the IC division should be the result of more varied attempts based on moves, while the main event division should incorporate more submission based wrestling, since the title is more important and thus would require a more patient, lower-impact champion. The historic Wrestlemania III, and the two iconic title matches on that card, set the ultimate standard for this basic distinction.

Certainly there is an attitude that the IC title should be a mid-card title for up and coming stars to hold before they move to the next level, but I find that shortsighted thinking. Pro-wrestling is not a linear storytelling machine, but a revolving blob, and there is no way to predict how a career will go in a straight line over time, therefore the IC title shouldn't be considered as a weak belt for newcomers, but an alternative to the main event for strong wrestlers. A title as prestigious as the IC title should not be wasted on breaking in new talent, as that should be reserved to singles matches that test ring ability against veterans or ‘jobbers.'

Certainly the phases that the IC Title have gone through in the past, particularly the Shelton/Carlito/Christian/Booker era, were deadly division killers. Rey has provided progression back into the IC division this year, particularly in his Chris Jericho feud and now with back-to-back great PPV matches with Dolph Ziggler. And hopefully the WWE continues this trend over the coming months.

Match #263 – Monday, December 21st
Unified Tag Team Titles Match: Big Show & Chris Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

An inoffensive match that seemed most notable for tow things: JTG's impressive stirring of the crowd with his struggle to escape the Walls of Jericho, and the introduction of that fully produced mash-up of Jericho & Show's theme songs rather than that odd fading in and out version they had used before.

My previous praise of superstar teams from a few weeks ago still remains, but I think in order to get the most out of a team as stacked as Jericho & Show they need to be matched up with other superstar teams. Otherwise, no one is gonna accept that teams like Cryme Tyme, Hart Dynasty, or Legacy, would logically have any chance to take the titles under normal circumstances from these two, which would be fine if it was a short experiment, but with a new custom made theme song, this team should be here for a long main event run (although, don't tell that to Booker T & RVD circa WM XX)!

Match #264 – Tuesday, December 22nd
Kane vs. Great Khali

Terrible. And I liked their Wrestlemania 23 match, enjoyed the Kane vs. Fake Kane match, and thought Khali vs. Triple H from last year's SummerSlam was great, so I'm a fan of proper big man matches, but this one was more in the vein of Kane vs. Undertaker from SummerSlam ‘00, Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler, and Undertaker vs. Fake Undertaker from SummerSlam '94.

And was it really necessary for Ranjan Singh to somehow become Khali's brother now?? Ugh! Did Slick need to be Kamala's brother? Of course not!


-Brothers?

Match #265 – Wednesday, December 23rd
DX vs. Legacy

Who cares about the match (that was shit anyways), but that entrance with the army and the ‘nam-like firefight, and tank substituting for ejaculating wrestler cocks, was just too awesome! Triple H's Conan entrance had nothing on this one, as it definitely goes down with Vader vs. Inoki from the Tokyo Dome, Undertaker at Wrestlemania 19, and of course all Goldust entrances, as one of the most flamboyantly awesome in wrestling history.



I do find it funny that the entire expense of the most elaborate entrance in the history of pro-wrestling for a PG audience was all one giant joke about blowing a load! And speaking of lame jokes, isn't it redundant to say, "Let's get ready to Suck It!" followed directly by, "We've got two words for you, Suck It!"

Match #266 – Thursday, December 24th
ECW Title Match: Christian vs. William Regal

Although this seemed like another embarrassing showcase for ECW on a major pay-per-view, I really liked the way this one move match and flash pin played out. The strategy displayed was logical, as Christian was outnumbered and bruised by Regal's henchmen at ringside and would be looking to hit and run, and thus capitalized smartly on Regal turning to disrobe. At least it make more sense rationally, as a misstep by Regal and quick thinking by Christian, than it does when one wrestler is just staring at the entrance while the opponent sneaks in from the crowd and ambushes them from behind for no reason.

Match #Match #267 – Friday, December 25th
WWE Title Match: Randy Orton vs. John Cena

What a dumb match. The multiple fake out endings were not compelling in any way, recycling something we've seen multiple iterations of in the past few years. Even worse though, was the poor wrestling presented by these two. Cena and Orton have had great some great matches, and they are not even technically in their prime yet, so who is to blame when they stink it up in a lame match like this?



Considering Orton and Cena had a pretty impressive SummerSlam main event just two years ago, it's hard to say there is no chemistry between the two, and the audience still seems motivated to love and hate them. Could it be Orton's fault for generally ruining all his high profile matches this year with his plodding new offensive style? Can we blame Cena for never regaining his form after his neck surgery? How about the bookers, for continuing to regurgitate the same wrestlers in the same matches and the same positions? Those are all find choices, but I blame the fans.

Fans are often just dumb idiots. I blame them for the plague that was the now and WCW's Monday night TV winning streak, I blame them for not sinking TNA, yet for sinking ECW, and failing to jump on the ROH bandwagon. Most of the fans out there want to see Hulk Hogan return to the ring at 60 years old, and most of them didn't care when Paul London disappeared from WWE TV. Sometimes, fans can be the only morons to blame when shit goes wrong in wrestling, because we know from experience that promoters will give people what they want most of the time, and as long as people continue to support the crap put out by the RAW brand, I imagine there will be continually shitty matches.

Match #268 – Saturday, December 26th
World Heavyweight Championship, TLC Match: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

I like how, according to the commentary, this is only the 8th time ever there's been a TLC match... uhm… could someone please enlighten me as to what is the difference between a Ladder Match, a Money in the Bank Match, and a TLC match? And if this is the 8th time, well this match added about as much to the genre as the 6th, or 7th. If I never see another table split, or ladder pushed over in a wrestling ring, I'll be a happy man.



What is more amazing to me than the bland gimmick match the WWE is trying to promote as revolutionary, is to see CM Punk promoting the straight edge lifestyle on television to millions of children and young people. Now, that's a revolution. Regardless of the fact that Punk's being played as a bad guy at the moment, I imagine there are tons of kids growing up who will look at what he's saying and use him as a role model when they are forced to make decisions about substance abuse when they get older. In a jaded and corrupt society, this actually feels like one of the only positive things I see coming out of all popular culture these days.

I have no problem admitting that I'm also straight edge, and haven't let the poison that is beer ever touch my lips, not done any recreational drugs, and haven't smoked a single stupid fucking cigarette. During my high school days, there was a crushing amount of pressure on my to succumb to these vices, but I persevered and held my ground while also avoiding becoming a complete outcast. But it wasn't easy. During the early 90s, there were no mainstream role models for being straight edge, certainly not any that were non-religious. Aside from being a fantastic pro-wrestling performer, CM Punk is providing this influence to an entire generation, and that's more important than winning any fake wrestling titles (although he did do that here as well, defeating that miscreant Jeff Hardy and shaming the debauchery of his lifestyle in the process)!