Five-Star Conversation 01.19.10: Comment Fallout From Raw & iMPACT!

Posted by Geoff Eubanks on 01.19.2010

There were many folks who were compelled to comment last week, some with some solid insight and some I doubt have ever used utensils to eat. Let's look at 'em!

DID YOU KNOW? CM Punk disapproves of all these "Try an electronic cigarette for free" ads on 411.





COMMENTPALOOZA!
And a Commentpalooza it was over the week. Look, whether you dug the article or you didn't, whether we're in agreement or you are begging for a Geoff-on-a-pole match between Hogan and Russo, I really appreciate everyone who invested time in reading last week's offering and for offering an opinion. Obviously, some comments are more personally valued than others, as we'll get into later, but I know that was a hefty read and my style isn't always everyone's cup of tea. I will admit I outdid myself in the run-on sentence department; it was a little much, even for me at some points. Lesson learned. Don't attempt such a massive undertaking while totally hammered.

However, though, because to even have the material about which to write from last week, it took five hours alone, in and of itself, to watch both shows, and through an analyst's eyes, so how ever long it took you to get through the article, it took at least twice as long to write! So, to anyone who was moved to comment at all, thank you, because, in so doing, you validated the effort it took me to compose it.

With such a volume of comments last week's column influenced, it makes sense that we address them and put "that Monday" to rest, but, because last week's article went so long, there wasn't enough room to look at the previous week's comments and there was in particular, I felt needs to be read, from my old buddy, thegunisgood:

Excellence in execution regarding your opinions and format in the column. I do have a few comments.

I was in Orlando in December and found some of my old friends to get me backstage during one of the tapings (sometime around the 7th or 8th). While I love to call on my old friends in the business for favors like that and I love to see the "boys" I grew up with, I was torn on who to call during the trip. A lot of the workers I used to be a part of, who were only 8 to 10 years older than me, either were working in TNA or had direct connection with TNA.

This is a very bad sign, so I wasn't surprised when Hogan and Easy E invited themselves to the scrap pile reunion at Universal Studios. Sure I understand the lack of money saved over a professional wrestling career and the endless thrill of getting in the ring and performing but Hogan, Nash, Eric, Hall, Sting, etc. just continue to exist to perpetuate the vicious cycle they helped to create in the business.

While TNA was created as the fresh alternative for undersized guys and endless energy workers in wrestling, they have morphed into a halfway house for veterans of wrestling entertainment who still need to pay the rent, alimony and their health club memberships. AJ, Daniels, Joe and others continue to have the promise of "the rub" from these dinosaurs while they are just relegated to afterthoughts on the TV programming. By the time they receive the rub, they will be the "new dinosaurs" themselves. Even at the "live" show that I witnessed, the fans were prompted to be revved up for the older hands, and while they were told to cheer TNA regulars, it wasn't with the same zeal as the previous command.

So, I burned my last bridge (and probably my last favor) and told my host that he and his generation needs to vaporize from wrestling immediately. I have heard and watched the false "fading into the background" promise for the last 4+ years in TNA, just to watch them secure a 0.9 to 1.1 rating. I also told those who were or weren't interested that the only clear lesson they were teaching the "up and coming" stars of TNA was that you please yourself instead of pleasing the audience. The LEGENDS of WRESTLING aren't there for the fans but they are there for the last piece of cake at the wedding that they were once at the featured table at. Now they are nothing more than CRASHERS at the party.

I am 41-years old and even I realized that I am a dinosaur who only generated interest from other writers when I was writing my column. The TNA LEGENDS are just there for themselves and other legends, not you and I. It is time for TNA to bounce them out of the bar and let the kids who are about to lose their prime years take over the dancefloor. Disco isn't the only thing that is dead, you know.
Posted By: thegunisgood

Well said, my friend, thank you for posting that comment! Were you actually backstage of The iMPACT! Zone? If so, what's that like…share with the studio audience (no pun intended). Speaking of studio audiences, it fairly surprised me that the fans in attendance were coached as if they were at a talk or game show (although, now that Hogan and Bischoff have infected TNA, the similarities between Total Non-stop Action and a talk show have come to mirror one another quite a bit more than they used to, haven't they?). It's especially interesting/disheartening to see the talent for whom fans are encouraged to go bonkers, and that it's not the young guys all these oldsters are there claiming to be helping. The only way it seems they're being helped is back to the dressing room, and that, from what we can tell from thegun's assessment above, that tacit mandate comes right from the top. Sadly, is anyone surprised?

Part of me thinks AJ Styles is on top right now as the reverse scapegoat for TNA Management should they come under fire over just the points made above; "Why," Dixie would respond, clutching the proverbial pearls, "how can you suggest we hold down the young guys, especially the one who've been with us since the beginning, or nearly so?! AJ Styles is our #1 guy, The TNA Champion!" Thus, giving them, in their own eyes, carte blanche to push remnants of a bygone era whom Mr. Herbert could smoke in the forty yard dash, and continue to employ in increasing numbers, as opposed to the other way around.

Now, being a frog-mouthed bastard myself, I can see where thegun would be compelled to impart some sage wisdom to his friends in the business who helped him into The iMPACT! Zone in the first place, especially when said advice was for their own good and coming from someone with a lifetime of fandom, and who had a big ol' eyeful of how things work backstage, yet was still far enough removed from the business itself such that he can see the forest for the trees, a line of sight that sometimes obscures the clearest of vision in any situation when one is too close to what's going on to be truly objective, be it a relationship or a business setting.

However, I can't believe you actually said anything like that to them, gun! Is it yet another example of confusing bravery for stupidity (and I say that knowing you know that's just an elbow in the ribs from someone you know all too well has that same blundering quality!)? All kidding aside, though, old friend, did you bring yup the topic hoping they'd agree with you and that you could get some further insight beyond the extreme story as was told in "The Wrestler", or did you think that, were you to suggest such a thing, perhaps you could be that tiny stone in the pond whose ripples might help to change the face of the product, or at least the company? Nonetheless, I'm sorry your having told the truth caused a rift in this friendship and that, sometimes, when one attaches one's pride to one's own desperation, the truth can hurt a little too much.

Something else I found interesting in having used CM Punk's quotes describing his own personal opinion of Hulk Hogan's TNA presence, it was inferred by several people I was doing so as a means to put Punk over Hogan:

Geoff Eubanks , how old are you kid 15? Well FYI no matter how much you hate hogan and Bischoff, they have done their job well, and TNA is on the rise and even your website 411 got extra traffic due to hogan and bischoff so give credit where its needed, Impact was entertaining and htats what people want not 3 hours of plain wrestling, if you want that watch independent wrestling

what in the world has CM Punk done, HOgan is way better and succesful than Punk any day any time, Punk's overrated
Posted By: Guest#3521

Apparently, so is spellcheck.

Here's a little nugget of information you forgot to add into your "writing" if you want to call it that...

"I hope, I really hope that something comes of it. I have zero faith in Hulk Hogan as a man who is what 60 years-old and tries to dress like he's 18 and lives on the Jersey Shore. For a guy I've never met, I've formulated enough opinions about him just from being around him and like his business acumen and stuff like that, I really trust that he's not in this for TNA and he's not in this for the business. He's in this for himself."

While Punk made some hilarious points about the near-60 Hulk Hogan trying to dress like he's living on the Jersey Shore, let us not forget that this is the same individual who has a pepsi logo tatooed on his arm? Yeah, like that's gonna look cool when Punk is Hogan's age!

But besides that, in that quote and I am not misquoting Punk here, this is a total copy and paste from a transcript. He contradicts himself about his feelings regarding Hogan...

"For a guy I've never met, I've formulated enough opinions about him just from being around him and like his business acumen and stuff like that...."

So he's never met Hulk Hogan but he's formulated enough opinions about him from being around him, that has to be the stupidest statement of the year right there.

Now I am not going to say Hogan does not have his ego, what big star doesn't, but dude seriously were you around to see what was going on backstage at WCW, it took more than just Hogan to take that machine down.

And as far as the people who think Punk can wrestle circles around Hogan, go and watch the WWE Unreleased Collector's Series DVD on Hogan. If the guy couldn't tell a wristlock from a wristwatch, then the name Hulk Hogan would mentioned in the same breath as flash in the pans like Brakkus and Corporal Kirchner...

While Hogan's WWF matches were often formulaic, he obviously had to know the basics or else he never would have made it as far as he did. But that's the price one pays for their success, if you are the greatest at what you do, haters will follow, but then again that's not always a bad thing is it all you jealous people on this web site?
Posted By: SirJoseOle

I'd be more interested in defending Punk's verbatim dialogue if that was, indeed, the point of my original article, but I didn't even read Punk's actual statements, because this was just the sort of thing I wanted to avoid, a snarky little slapfight over semantics and a web poll of who's the better wrestler, Hogan or Punk.

I more or less was made privy to Punk's bullet-pointed sentiments and used that to compare and contrast my own feelings on the subject, based upon what we saw in WCW (and you're absolutely correct, Jose, in your assertion that it took more than Hogan alone to bring down WCW…unfortunately, he's brought all the other reasons to TNA with him) and what we've seen emerging from Dixieland in the months and days leading to their acquisition of The Orlando Wrecking Crew, known now, I guess, as simply The Band, and if that's the best stable moniker this team of crack innovators can pull out of their asses, doesn't that speak for itself?

Back on point, I could care less in this instance what kind of a wrestler or person Punk is. The fact is, 1) he's a guy who's proven that he has a pretty damn good mind for the business for being as relatively young as he is, and 2) if Punk has such an opinion of Hogan after having never met him, it speaks to me to how Hogan's reputation precedes him and lingers in locker rooms past like a fart in a trenchcoat, which is a product of how the man does business, and that was the focus of the article, not to put on the pom-poms for Punk.

And this has been long overdue, before we jump back to discussing last week. A couple weeks ago, one of this column's favorite readers/commenters, theHomewrecker had a big misunderstanding over his description of Matt Hardy, when he compared him to Tommy Dreamer after having seen hardy at a house show. Hardy and Dreamer both take so much abuse from certain members of The IWC it's become a cliché to bag on them for the weight they've put on in the last few years, I jumped to conclusions and assumed that's what theHomewrecker was doing, and the whole thing hyperboled into the use of steroids, that I was thinking he was suggesting Hardy get on the gas, etc. I absolutely apologize for not having been clearer and for allowing my foolish assumption to get so out of control that way, especially to someone whose patronage and feedback I value as much as theHomewrecker's! I don't vibe any bad feelings on this, as I think we both knew it was a misunderstanding, but I wanted to say as much and be quite plain about it. RESPECK!

As for last week, there seemed to be a few different categories of comments:

Those who obviously enjoyed the effort and made their feelings known…

Geoff Eubanks, your a great writer. The way you incorporated comedy into insightful thoughts was genius. I mean your so good I wanna hire you to write my will. Great job.
Posted By: Nevermore.

Great, well written article. Couldn't agree more, with a lot of the points you made.
Posted By: Guest#9387

Nicely put Geoff
Posted By: Todd Vote

FANTASTIC ARTICLE!!!
Posted By: Guest#8471

Damn Geoff, what a fine piece of business this column was...nice work...
Posted By: Mark

Those who obviously would rather put themselves through something horrible…like, say, watch "The Crow"…as read anything I write ever again…

Calling The Crow a bad movie? Yeah, fuck your article.
Posted By: WilliamMorgan

Your jokes are really dumb. Nick hogan police chase, hahaha..not. Maybe you should work less on the dumb jokes and more on the actual article, hack.
Posted By: jaked

For the love of god stop starting your sentences with "too".

Posted By: Guest#2195

This is the first time I've read your column, and it'll probably be the last. You hate the Crow and you love Shawn Michaels, that's enough for me sir.
Posted By: jorge cantaloupe santiago jr.

BTW (Yes, Skinner, BTW), WilliamMoragn and Jorge, I saw Sy-Fy ran The Crow last weekend and though of you both. Hope you enjoyed.

And, 2195…No. TOO bad.

To jaked, obviously, there's no accounting for a difference in opinion, and ours don't sync up, which is fine. I'm sure the cast of Friends has appreciated your patronage over the years.

Then there were those who decided to hate on me with very little to do with the actual article and just because I managed to push their little buttons…and, in some cases, thank Flair, someone with some sense called it…

way to much stuff to read so cool story bro.....
Posted By: ......... (Guest)

fucking kids, unless its twitter sized they dont care. learn to read moron.
Posted By: 16s

"You take wrestling far too seriously..."
Posted By: ASK HIM!

People like this guy are why Shawn Michaels is currently teaming up with Hornswoggle. Fuck you, buddy. It's like when you're talking shit on the latest Michael Bay billion-dollar abortion (no, not a prequel to Million Dollar Baby) and one dude invariably says "who cares if it's retarded? it's just a movie!" As if the movies that AREN'T retarded are just random flukes...

Wrestling isn't all bad comedy and middle-aged juicers acting like fifth-graders by DEFAULT, but people like that non-contributing zero whose username I'm not even going to scroll up to remember, who think Jim Cornette and his ilk "take wrestling far too seriously" have let it become a seemingly endless stream of that same horseshit. If your CAREER is producing something for the masses, then you should have a LITTLE reverence for what that is. Eat a dick, Steph-- sorry, that just slipped out... again...
Posted By: KanyonKreist

Jesus christ. Calling the TNA ring an octagon once is bad enough, but calling it an octagon repeatedly is just embarrassing.

ITS A HEXAGON DAMMIT.
Posted By: Guest#1471

This guy is another internet douche that has a terrible opinion of Hogan because of what has been written by other douchebags. I'd like to know how old this tard is. Sure, the show sucked, but it has always sucked!
Posted By: judge

Oh my god, if you dont sound like a bitter ex girlfriend than i dont know any bitch that does. And its painfully obvious that you are one of the biggest Roh marks i have ever beat up and tossed into a locker{out of 15 or 20]. All this pissing and moaning over a wrestling show that wasnt booked around the 20 or so "smart fans" that watch the american luchadores in roh. Please by all means stop watching...if you hate it so much,do what i do. Buy the d.v.d's of the stuff you like and ignore the rest of it. Wrestling is dead and what we have today is wrestling after being buried in the pet semmetery...Jesus christ son get a life..you sound like wrestling's version of comic book guy
Posted By: Old School Fan

Wait....so you were a fan of the first of the three hours of Nitro because of the workrate and hard fought matches that were based on ability, and then you turned over to Raw during the Attitude Era? WHAT.

You make no sense.
Posted By: Guest#7319

I'm even less convinced now, especially now that he's got that obnoxious, self-righteous, Sharmell-lite bitch he calls a wife at his side.

----

What society deems a bitch, we(?) [deem] strong black women. Perhaps you should take note of it.
Posted By: Logos

-- Doesn't this definition of "strong black woman" usually mean "doesn't listen when other people speak and/or refuses to lower voice while talking on cell phone in line at the bank"...?

I mean, that's generally the type of person I think of when someone takes the defensive stand that BEGINS with "you may THINK I'm a bitch, but..."

That's like taking your friends to see your boyfriend's shitty band play, and the whole time they're playing, repeating "he's so talented"... Oh, really? I was WAY off, then, with my initial assessment that your boyfriend's band is horrid and that Krystal Lashley is a self-righteous twat. I'm glad that got cleared up....
Posted By: KanyonKreist

To the first comment there, this was exactly why I was upset when it became a site mandate here at 411Mania that all columns need to include photos/videos, because it's an open door to the crowd who's more invested in pretty colors and moving pictures than to actually sit down and read something.

I think Kanyon pretty well addressed the comment preceding it, so there's no need to dwell in that territory (BTW, Kanyon, I agree, twink is a creepy word).

1471, yes, a complete foot in my mouth on that front. It's fulfilling to me that in 8500 words, that's all you managed to take out of the article. And, anyway, it doesn't matter now, because it's the good ol' squared circle for TNA henceforth, although I did get a kick out of hearing Owen Hart's voice in my head reading that last line. Try it, it's fun.

To the appropriately named judge, I'll grant you, your blatant and willful ignorance in my regard where my opinion of Hogan is based initially encouraged me to make just as many assumptions about you, but I'll exhibit a modicum of restraint and simply explain to you that I've been WWE since it was The WWF and Bob Backlund was the HWC. I recall watching the whole drama unfold, Arnold Skaaland throwing in the towel on the behalf of his stubborn protégé, this making The Iron Sheik the champion, and was there when Hogan's gimmick was retooled and he came in to found Hulkamania.

I then went on to watch Hogan hog the title for himself for YEARS, effectively preventing other fantastic performers of the day under a yellow & red glass ceiling, doing the SAME…FUCKING…ACT...NIGHT…AFTER…NIGHT…YEAR…AFTER…YEAR, assuaging whatever he had of a conscience by generously convincing Vince McMahon to hire and push his league of should-never-have-been-much-better-than-jobber pals like The Nasty Boys, Ed Leslie, The Honky-Tonk Man, etc. whom he knew he could easily keep underneath him on the roster, as well, and because they knew their role, were happy sucking on the teat of Hulkamania because they knew it was their best shot at making it on the card. Obviously, a lot has changed.

So don't accuse me of blind-by-associating hated where Hogan is concerned, pal, he's earned and cultivated over the course of 20 some odd years. I've stated this numerous times in the year and a half I've been writing this column.

Old school fan, if wrestling is dead, what the hell did you come here to do, read the obituaries? All this talk about I don't know, what did you say? Nailing RoH fans in a locker at PE? Why do I get the idea your limited scope what the term "old school" really means in respect to your fandom is that you started up around the time Steve Austin and Vader jumped to The WWF? And if it makes you feel any better, I haven't actually watched any American wrestling since that five-hour marathon required of me to write last week's column, except for getting caught up on-line with the two or three episodes of RoH, but that's because I am just now familiarizing myself with the franchise, and that's only as a result of Jim Cornette's presence there. Bottom line, and if you're anything of the old school fan you'd seem to want us all to think you are, anything upon which The Louisville Lip puts his stamp of approval, you should be inclined to at least check it out, and not so you can scope out the fans to buttrape after show in the locker room.

7319, back in the day, that was pre-Attitude Era WWF. That was when HBK/Bret was at a fever pitch, the creation of the original dX, Austin in the midcard, etc. It was to that window of history to which I was referring. Even so, once The Attitude Era kicked off, The WWF's locker room was young and hungry, not showing up to visit old ATM Eric with a cane in their hand.

And as for our different interpretations of what it means to be a strong, black woman, I mean women like Oprah (much as I actually pretty much don't dig her and can't stand her show, I think the fact that one of the richest people in the country is a self-made black woman), Tina Turner and Mary J. Blige, although I do love me a sassy sistah (even if I'm convinced all that neck swiveling and finger waving comes from a place of insecurity wearing the mask of inner strength). There are few men in The IWC who respect women of color who make something of themselves in the face of adversity than me, so don't come waving the racist stick in my face.

There was one comment toward the end that really stood out to me and that I actually enjoyed, which will likely surprise some…

Eubanks, have you ever wrestled a match or took a bump in your life? Doubt it. So what makes you think you know enough about the business to say someone should never be in an arena? The Orlando Jordan from WWE sucked. But I reffed a match with him about six months ago and it was absolutely fantastic. He is a solid worker, a good promo, which he displayed that night. I speak with resounding authority on his promo abilities because I am probably more qualified than anyone on this site to comment on it as a worker myself, and as a third-year acting student at the University level. If wondering why I take offense to that comment, you essentially said that the man shouldn't be allowed to make a living.

And why did you feel the need to question Triple H not having an on-screen forgive-and-forget moment with Bret Hart? They never had any on-screen problems ever. If they would have, then the marks would wonder what was going on; and aren't they the target audience, not the net-geeks?

And on a positive note, at least for you, consider this; anything I didn't call you out on, I agree with you on or at least feel that your opinion is valid.
Posted By: tombstone73089

Have you ever written a novel or filmed a movie or cooked fine dining cuisine? No, then you cannot comment on any of those things. See how utterly infantile and weak that line of reasoning is? Critics do not need to have engaged in the activity they criticize; instead, they need to be well-versed in the artistic venue on which they pass judgment. If Eubanks has watched wrestling for 20 years, then he is infinitely more qualified to judge Jordan's ring work than is an 18 year-old who wrestled one match.
Posted By: Iron Knee

@Iron Knee
Maybe I lost my point in my rant, but the part I took offense to, was him insinuating that someone didn't have a right to make a living.
Posted By: tombstone73089

I appreciated Tombstone's comment because, well, first of all, it was intelligible, respectful of my efforts, though not waning in passion in calling me out on a point the commenter felt strongly, and that's going to get a lot more thought and time from me than some petulant little pissant who thinks he has me all figured out based upon the tiny little world in which he lives.

First of all, I have to admit baldly, no, I have not seen Orlando Jordan in the ring since he left WWE, so I may very well have spoken out of turn with respect to my opinion of ability in the ring, and, if Tombstone has seen him as recently as last summer and a marked improvement has been achieved on Jordan's part, then I am in the wrong and will be happy to apologize completely. For the record, I hope Jordan has learned more about his craft and stepped up his game, mainly because he was absolutely horrible back when he was the least effective member of JBL's Cabinet.

But if I'm speaking off of dated material, then I'm in the wrong and won't pretend to deny it; neither, though, will I take the word of one person who contradicts my own experience. What I will do is make sure to keep an eye open for Jordan's in-ring TNA debut and see for myself and hope for the best. If he's so impressive now, I'm sure the proverbial proof will be in the pudding.

However, I stand behind Iron Knee's comments, too, in that the whole, "If you've never done it, you're disallowed from an opinion on a matter," because that's ridiculous. If this is entertainment, it's open fodder for discussion the same as a fine movie or a crummy song and it's kinda my job to discuss this stuff. But, again, if I'm doing so based on faulty or outdated information, it's my responsibility to set myself straight. So to speak.

But the notion that I'm trying to take away another man's right to work is ludicrous. I'm not suggesting Jordan or anyone should be homeless and destitute because I don't like the way he does his job. What I meant to imply is (or rather, the spin you put on my words), if someone keeps serving raw steak, perhaps they shouldn't be in charge of the grill. Doesn't mean they might not toss a hell of a salad (ahem), but there are other ways and places even within the business he could work if his ring work isn't up to snuff. A fair amount of time has passed and WWE is certainly not shy about rushing noobs up the card well before they're ready, and that certainly could have been Jordan's case. But don't try and make it sound as if I think he should be panhandling because I don't think he's any good in the ring.

Longwinded and trying at times. The length itself was okay, but you didn't say enough to justify it. Half of this was a stand-up act, and not especially funny. Also, five video clips is too much, but five that has nothing to do with the actual article is silly. Are they placeholders for bathroom breaks? Too much vitriol and well-tread ground. Inspired (I see you felt strongly about your writing), but a thoroughly unenjoyable read.
Posted By: ThePants



I was tempted to run that video five times in a row so Mr. Pants could enjoy a nice, long pee break.

These are the comments I really hate. They say nothing about the actual article and give you a back-handed complement as they look down at you from on high. You're reading an article, guy, not grading a paper. If you didn't care for it, why drop a condescending comment about it. I have a wealth of respect for 95% of the writers on this site, but there's a couple who make me sick to my socks, so you know what I do? I stop reading them and go find another writer who speaks to me. Please feel free to do that now in this instance.

"I suspected that HBK would be willing to allow proverbial bygones to be such when he found The Lord and presumably declared a greater hierarchy to concern his lifestyle. "

To which I can only say "bitch, please". Time and time again had the Half-Balding Kid prove that even despite "finding the Lord" (I'm still not clear or whether it was on a toast or a microwave door) can and often is almost the same petty vindictive asshole that he was "before".
Posted By: Guest#2439

Someone once said, "If it is on TV, it is scripted."

What makes one believe that just because Hart and Michaels hugged, there was anything real in it? Could it not be two entertainers professional enough to put their beliefs aside for the sake of entertainment?

Who says they put the past behind them? They simply did what the script told them to do.

Posted By: Comment Board Poster

You know, in my heart of hearts, there's a good part of me that agrees, although I'd like to believe that someone who turns over a new spiritual leaf really has his/her heart and soul in the effort, because I think it's a pretty serious indictment to question the spirituality of another person, because that relationship is between the individual and the deity to who they pledge their faith, and that doesn't involve me, except, say, in cases of Pat Robertson, who clearly represents his own policy of insanity, bigotry and hatred (and I was saying that about him LONG before Haiti, so don't even go there).

As for the second comment, having watched these two for years, and it's likely my own vanity encouraging me to say this, but I have a feeling I can judge when they're in the moment and when they're working us. What I've heard (and I stress that!) is that what they said was largely unscripted and that they pretty much shot from the hip, although I'd be more than willing to agree that the hug was just a moment to tease Sweet Chin Music so they could have that squishy moment when they hugged, which, I believe was the only part that was really a McMahondate, was that super feel-good moment, but that's just my gut talking.

Geoffykins, my fellowMO, damn, you must be on a serious dry spell in order to be this fired up. I totally agree with you on the utter shit that is THE CROW. It's no better than QUEEN OF THE DAMNED and that sucked Brady Powers cock.
Posted By: Big Fat Fag

As a matter of fact, I was WELL overdue for a little carnal synthesis, but we took care of that on Saturday. And Sunday. And, to be fair, I don't hate The Crow as much as I'm playing I do here, although I do not like it, Sam I Am, it just amazed me that so many people just flipped the fuck OUT that I'd dare even suggest it was less than brilliant. And, yes, Queen of the Damned was mind-numbingly awful, but so was Interview with a Vampire in my book.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming, we had some thoughtful comments last week, as well…

Agreed. It is hard NOT to notice how TNA copied WCW on a lot of levels Monday night.

This is the future? Good luck TNA, but word of advice-you do have a PPV this Sunday night....
Posted By: JayMan

just reminded me of a 'reunion show' on the indy circuit or something.

hogan and legends headlined, but some of the 'new generation' were still there but it wasnt about them at all

impact can do that once, not every week
Posted By: perez

agree with the vast majority of your TNA rant. Fine as a wcw nostalgia show but its going to get really old after a couple weeks.
Posted By: Save.Us_Y2J

Holy shit, there's a TNA PPV this weekend?

Nice build up, TNA.
Posted By: Angry Bear

See, this is what I was talking about. For one thing, we're seeing the same old gimmick that Bischoff mistakenly blinds himself into believing was innovative – Holy shit, there's Jeff Hardy! And wasn't that Flair?! We KNOW Hogan and Bischoff are en route…Who's NEXT?! And we saw Ken "Kennedy" Anderson debut at the PPV on Sunday, the mystery person jumping to TNA along with Hogan's first TNA PPV appearance being the main selling points focused upon by management, when the rematch between Kurt Angle and AJ Styles should have been.

Bischoff's whole game plan, what he mistakenly likes to refer to as "innovation" is simply an extension of the way Hogan does business…bring his favorite players, push them to the moon while pissing on the rest of the boys who made that stage available to be stolen in the first place. You really don't want to say it, but it seems sometimes as if Hogan & Bischoff have little interest in building TNA for TNA's sake, but rather taking over the established franchise they were unable to found themselves ever since they ran WCW Vince McMahon's hands.

Where I dare to question Bischoff's brilliance and if he's learned his lesson (and I guess we'll see) is that once you have no one else you can bring in because you've, once again, managed to bloat an already perfectly sound roster with all your "preferred talent", are you gonna manage to write an ending for the story this time around, or is it just going to be nWo part two and let them splinter off until the burg that sank the Titanic is just so much melted shards around the ring? I don't think he's NEARLY as smart as he'll tell you he is or thinks he is. I think Hogan is just getting off on using someone's else's ring in which to play house yet again with all his little friends.

I'm not ringing the death knell for TNA, and, in fairness, ratings are beginning to trend up and house show revenue is on the rise, but this is the short term, and Bischoff and Hogan have proven to be effective in the short term. I'm just convinced that we're going to see a mishmash of screwy, inconsistent storytelling with many of the same old Hogan mannequins and, as long as there are Hulkamaniacs who want to see that same old shit again and again, that product will likely find a home in TNA, and, considering the ratings are so meager in the first place, how little a long-term increase constitutes a failure, such that The Carters might wish Hogan and Bischoff their best in their future endeavors? Or might Hogan and Bischoff rally their forces and, if it comes down to it, attempt to buy TNA from Bob and Dixie?

And, if the younger portion of the roster gets frustrated and decides to try their hand working for Vince, might Vince hire them off of TNA and let them do their thing on his stage? I know, the cynic will scoff and claim they haven't a chance because they don't represent the kind of wrestling Vince likes to promote.

Okay, sure, yes, but also consider that Vince acquiesced and produced a type of wrestling he neither liked nor favored when Shane convinced him to adopt Paul Heyman's business model, as was the trend at the time, to lure back the fans he'd lost to WCW, and by pushing the fact that Jim Ross had signed a young and eager locker room, ready and raring to get in the ring and show what they could do. Granted there are a couple important factors in the above not in place today (Shane and Ross), but we do know Vince is smartest when his back's against the wall, and I think he's smart enough to realize where TNA is going wrong and capitalize by showcasing the talent they've shunned in favor of getting the band back together.

But then again, Vince his so insane in his old age, he genuinely believes it was he who groomed fans to chant ECW!, so who knows…?

i am not one to fantasy book and say 'it sucked-my way is better'

but

when scripting out the steel asylum match for impact, who in the green hell thought that finish would go over well with the audience?!?!?
Posted By: now

a. The Crow does indeed suck balls. Dark City is the director's superior film.
b. Why job out Nigel to Dinero? It makes no sense. The man just took your best wrestler to the brink and now he can't hang with a mid-carder? That logic is about as sound as re-enacting the NwO's Worst Bits.
c. Strip poker? Really? The Beautiful People can be used effectively as a sneaky/sleazy heel faction. Why go through the charade of strip poker. Furthermore, Val Venis never has been and never will be worth a tinker's damn in the ring or on the mic.
Posted By: Iron Knee

Well fucking said. Most, if not all of it, was spot on.

Adding insult to injury in the Steel Asylum match was the fact that there were hardly any spots at all! Sure, we saw a rare Dragon Rana, but other than that it was a whole lot of...well, nothing. Hell, Alex Shelley spent half the bloody match standing on the turnbuckle looking like a moron (no offense to him personally, he was clearly waiting for...something to happen). But there wasn't even an upside to the Mouse Trap-like cage, DQ finish, and Homicide getting stuck.

"Bottoming in the shower"? I think that's Peroxwhy?gen's next album.

Bret and Shawn will never be friends. But I think, during this run for the Hitman, they can nod to each other in the back as opposed to the potentially-destructive alternative. It's just sad that, if the rumors are true, Triple H can't get over it.

I think the hug was tacked on because the E really wanted that Sweet Chin Music tease. If Shawn teases the kick then just leave he looks like an asshole. The whole handshake-kick?-hug made for the better story, even if Bret didn't look entirely comfortable hugging Michaels. By the way, I'd LOVE to know what Shawn said to him during the hug.

"Now, see, here's the sort of thing WWE did so well back in the day, during the real Monday Night Wars, when they really had a handle on how to move a show along, when one segment would bleed into another, but wouldn't overlap or demean one or the other."

The overscripting in WWE doesn't stop at just the promos. There's no sense of "Anything can happen!" when Vintage Cole knows exactly what the next segment is. Regaining that bit of spontaneity would go a long way in presenting a better product.

And, moving on through this week's Raw, WWE may have something on their hands with the Miz/MVP feud. That promo last night was fucking $MONEY$ and a good three-week build could turn their Rumble match from good to great.
Posted By: neverAcquiesce

Geoff, the Homewrecker hit the nail on the head by saying that TNA fucked up by not putting on a new show January 7. They created a buzz about their product and then the new people tuning in decide to flip it on thursday night and see ... Monday night's show all over again. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I'm not getting my hopes up in regards to TNA. In fact, I have only 2 wishes of TNA. #1- Get rid of the stupid 6-sided ring, and #2-go live on Monday Nights opposite Raw.
Posted By: Angry Bear

Now and never Acquiesce, The whole Steel Asylum fiasco was another facet of the evening that troubles me greatly, not just because the whole thing, from conception to completion, was a huge failure (aside from some nice moves in the ring…when we could see them) because it displays to the greater symptom of the new management team about what TNA fans really want to see in a TNA ring. Big stars up close? Okay, great! But to take The X-Division, the thing that originally put them on the map and set them apart from WWE, is now being treated like WCW CruiserWeights Rehashed, and that's just WRONG. And they spent like, what did Russo say, like three solid weeks constructing that show? And they really thought that would work?

Again, look at what opened the PPV, the X-Division Title match. Opening with a fast-paced, athletic match is theoretically a strong idea on paper, and, here we saw Bischoff's brilliant hand at work with another disgruntled former WWE performer debuting, but how long do you think it's going to be before Brian Kendrick is lost in the shuffle of "the opening match" division? Bischoff's way is NOT brilliant, it's NOT innovative, he's just the flip side of Vince's tired old It-worked-back-then-it'll-work-again blueprint.

Knee, we are definitely going to have to agree to disagree where Morely's in-ring talent is concerned. There was a reason he had replaced Hardcore Holly as the guy to give the new kids a solid ten minutes in the ring back in the day, because he's an experienced hand who knows how to work a solid match and could help the kids as he made them look like a million bucks and stars in the making. And he wouldn't stiff the shit out of them like Bitter Bob. Time will show what kind of a role he'll be afforded in TNA and if he'll be allowed to show off the ring acumen I just tried to put over, or if you'll be proven right. It'd be nice if they gave him his own gimmick instead of bringing the porn star out of the mothballs. I'm convinced they had him debut playing Strip Poker with The Beautiful People because they forgot to come up with a name for him.

Bear, I have to disagree, as well, with the belief that it was a foolish move not to move forward with a new iMPACT! following that Monday's broadcast, for this reason – the Monday edition of iMPACT! was NOWHERE on-line the following day that I could see, and it strikes me that perhaps they were purposefully keeping it that way, such that, those of us who dialed up Raw at 9pm could have a chance to have iMPACT!'s impact hyped up, thus encouraging them to tune in on Thursday and give the impression that the overall iMPACT! rating had done better then the next chapter might have. Besides, it gave them time to WRITE that next chapter as we, the fans, were supposed to dutifully salivate at who was coming next…!

And, congratulations…one squared-circle coming right up! One down…one to go.

I've said it long before Hogan and Bischoff landed, I continue on now with the same mantra, only, perhaps, said now, more in earnest, I hope for the fans and for the boys that TNA succeeds and becomes an American staple. I even believe that, under Hogan and Bischoff, it could thrive and get Vince looking over his shoulder a bit, enough such that he might make some sensible changes with respect to his product, but overall, I just don't have a good feeling about it. Sorry to be such a downer. The real test, as I said, is going to come once we see where Hogan and Bischoff go once they have the roster they want in place…but don't forget, WWE, it's rumored, have another stack of pink slips on deck…

I have a fiver that says WWE Creative named this guy, too:



That's all for this week! Thank you for reading!

RESPEEECK!