wrestling / Columns

Wrestling’s 4R’s Monday Edition 1.25.10: ROH, Impact, Superstars and SmackDown Reviewed!

January 25, 2010 | Posted by Jeremy Thomas

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    In HD where available…


    By: Aaron Hubbard

    ROH on HDNet 12.21.09:

    QUICK RESULTS:
    Submission Match: Delirious defeated Sonjay Dutt [***1/4]
    Pick 6 Contenders Match: Jay Briscoe defeated Mark Briscoe [***1/2]
    Erick Stevens defeated Harlem Bravado [DUD]
    Colt Cabana & Tyler Black defeated Rhett Titus & Austin Aries [***3/4]

  • THE RIGHT:

    PICK 6: BRISCOE VS. BRISCOE: This was our last Pick Six Contender’s match and one that I was really looking forward to. The Briscoes have had some classics in the past, but this was merely good. Part of the reason is both of them, especially Mark, have toned their style down a bit, still working fast but not as recklessly. Another reason is that there wasn’t any real issue between them except Cornette threw them in there against each other. The other reason is that ROH chose this match to have a screwy ending before having Cornette come out to restart the match and give us a real finish. I’m actually okay with that since it makes sense that the Briscoes would draw and it’s a great statement from ROH that these clean finishes are where they are headed (theoretically), but that sort of thing does hurt the match. I also wasn’t too big on the finish; I’d like to see a Jay Driller or Cutthroat Driver on HDNet at some point please. However, there were a few nice touches such as Jay using the super ace crusher against Mark, and I marked hard for Mark’s flawless Dragon Suplex, so it was a good match.

    SUBMISSION MATCH: Our opening match was not one I was excited about, as I’ve been pretty apathetic about the Sonjay vs. Delirious match. But for some reason, this just worked for me. Sonjay seemed to actually know how to work a body part, attacking Deli’s legs in entertaining fashion, and then switching to the back after shoving him to the floor when Delirious tried Shadows Over Hell. There was also a nice touch as he hit big impact moves like the Jig ‘N’ Tonic and a kneeling muscle buster but choosing not to go for the submission. He knocked Daizee Haze off the apron and into the guardrails, which was a huge bump from The Haze. I really like the finish as Daizee hit Sonjay with a missile dropkick and Delirious hit the Cobra Clutch Suplex and then did an awesome Cobra Clutch/Camel Clutch hybrid to get the match. Suitable blow off that ended this feud on a high note.

    STEVENS SQUASH: Yeah, it was all of about five moves and was a dud, but I was very pleased to see ROH follow-up on Stevens joining the Embassy right away. Stevens works just fine in the monster heel role and this just might be his ticket to being a main-eventer in ROH.

    MAIN EVENT TAG: For a match that really isn’t that important in the grand scheme of things, all four guys worked pretty well in this. There was a little bit of comedy (Cabana was in the match, so duh) and a lot of action, and I actually had trouble keeping up with this at times. Cabana and Black showed surprising chemistry as a team considering they are polar opposites in style and personality. Aries and King were great, playing terrific heels and busting out classic double teams like the leapfrog splash and the Rocket Launcher, which I marked out for big time. There was one insane sequence where Tyler went for the springboard clothesline on Aries, Aries ducked and King caught Tyler, but Tyler countered the Royal Flush to a DDT. Cabana got the ring on King with the inverted Colt .45 and sent the crowd home happy. This was just good old fashioned tag formula with four guys that are almost always entertaining, and it worked.

  • PURGATORY:

    NONE.

  • The wRong:

    FINAL BATTLE PROMOS: I am one of those guys who defends the actual in-ring effort of Black vs. Aries from Final Battle. I don’t defend the booking, because it was the dumbest decision I’ve seen in a long time. And really, ROH is stupid for trying to put over Aries and Black in that match with the promos they showed. ROH fans, even the optimists like me, aren’t happy about this situation, and trying to act like it was incredible and epic is just really dumb. I’m not saying they have to say “Hey, our main event at our biggest show of the year was a failure,” but WWE didn’t talk very much about Orton-Triple H after Mania.

  • THE RIDICULOUS:

    NONE.

    The 411

    This show was pretty stacked and three of the four matches got time to deliver and delivered. Two of them exceeded my expectations, one was underwhelming but still good. This is the best episode of ROH since Cornette’s debut, and it’s because it was focused on wrestling. There was more quality wrestling in this hour than there was on RAW and ECW combined. That doesn’t happen every week, but it happened this week, and the result was that I was very, very satisfied with this show.

    SHOW RATING: 8.0



    By: Steve Cook

    Superstars 12.24.09:

  • THE RIGHT:

    KANE vs. CHRIS JERICHO: One would have thought that noted wrestling historian Matthew Striker would have mentioned Jericho & Kane’s past. I especially enjoyed the one feud they had that started when Jericho accidentally spilled coffee on Kane. VINTAGE STEPH! Both guys had their working boots on for this one and it was really good except for the whole lack of a finish thing. People in da biz have told me that crap finishes are necessary in order to prolong feuds and lead to things in the future, but I’ve always believed that good workers are capable of having matches with conclusive finishes that can still prolong a feud and make people want to see more. Besides, Kane & Jericho are both past the point where they’d just feud with each other for the hell of it…Jericho’s a man who’s out for titles, and Kane doesn’t care who he beats up as long as he gets somebody to beat up. However, I will grant that the finish made sense from Jericho’s perspective, as he knew that he had nothing to gain from further conflict with Kane on Superstars and would be better off waiting to fight another day. I have no major complaints about any of this.

    WRESTLER VIDEOS: Superstars had more hype videos for individual wrestlers than usual, which I think is a good thing. After all, the name of the show is “Superstars”, and building up those superstars only makes sense. Not that Chris Jericho needs a video for people to know who he is, but it doesn’t hurt things.

  • PURGATORY:

    KELLY KELLY vs. JILLIAN HALL: After some good work from the Divas on recent editions of Superstars, we returned back to the usual fare this week. The good thing about both of these two is that they actually get good reactions from the crowd. Jillian manages to annoy people with her bad singing act, and Kelly has a natural connection with the crowd due to…um…err…I’m trying to think of something better to say than “being hot”, but I’ve got nothing. Anywho, this match wasn’t much to write home about and Kelly’s finisher looked pretty crappy. But most of Jillian’s offense and Kelly’s selling made the match not totally suck, so I’ll bump it up into the purgatory.

  • THE WRONG:

    SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. VANCE ARCHER I apologize to Shelton because he did pretty good work here, but anything involving Lance Hoyt wrestling for eleven minutes equals fail in my book. Even TNA wasn’t dumb enough to let him wrestle for that long. I also disliked how Shelton’s win was viewed as an upset, and the lame stare down after the match. How come WWE has to end so many of their matches with both competitors making ridiculous facial expressions towards each other anyway? Hell, Jericho should have just left after his countout and not stayed in the aisle way so he could make a smug expression while Kane tried to look angry, but not too angry that he had to leave the ring. Weird stuff.

  • THE RIDICULOUS:

    ASK THE DIVAS: No Maryse & no Bellas? Child please.

    The 411

    Pretty average episode of Superstars this week. I’d recommend checking out Kane vs. Jericho but you can skip the rest and not miss anything.

    SHOW RATING: 6.0



    By: Chad Nevett

    iMpact! 01.21.10:

    QUICK RESULTS
    Matt Morgan & Hernandez (C) defeated the British Invasion for the TNA World Tag Team Championship [*1/4]
    Orlando Jordan defeated D’Angelo Dinero [*1/2]
    Angelina Love defeated Madison Rayne [*]
    The Nasty Boys defeated Kevin Nash & Eric Young [1/4*]
    AJ Styles (C) defeated Kurt Angle for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship [**3/4]

  • THE RIGHT:

    AJ, STYLIN’ AND PROFILIN’: Now this is the way that the veterans should be used! Ric Flair comes out with two beautiful women and cuts a fantastic promo on how he came to TNA and how he came to be in AJ Styles’s corner. Flair had the crazed energy going that makes his promos so much fun to watch. I laughed quite a bit when he said that his first reason for coming to TNA was that he hates Hulk Hogan. The whole Dixie Carter part of the promo was a little weird, but the Nature Boy’s way of saying it made it work. In the end, he put over AJ big time by saying he’s the only guy he’s seen who could be considered his successor. Given Flair’s history over in the WWE during the past decade, that doesn’t just put AJ in good company, that puts him above a lot of top guys. Then, AJ came out, looking a bit like a dumb kid who has suddenly hit the big time and isn’t entirely comfortable with it, but that worked in his favor. I love that he cut a promo wherein he spoke about being a TNA original, being the only grand slam champion in TNA, and still having to take a backseat, often, to the older guys whose best days were in other companies. This builds on the feuds with Daniels and Tomko where the idea was that AJ got all of the breaks nicely as AJ turns that around a little. I really liked when he hesitantly said some of Flair’s trademark phrases with a bit of fannish glee; you got the idea that, on the inside, AJ was marking out big time. Sure, it’s a heel turn, but it’s a likable heel turn.

    Hogan and Angle coming out to tell the pair in the ring that Angle would get another title shot that night was a good move. It did lead to one of the only big negatives of the entire segment: AJ whining and freaking out that he had to face Angle again. One of the things I absolutely hate about wrestling is that the minute a guy turns heel, he turns chickenshit. AJ has been a fearless fighting champion so far and to get rid of that immediately is a little annoying. I know why they do it, but I think they have had him show his displeasure without seeming cowardly. Especially since AJ’s face persona lends itself so well to that arrogant heel champion that you hate because he always wins and has no problem accepting challengers only to kick the crap out of them in the ring. But, that’s a minor complaint in an otherwise stellar segment.

    MADISON RAYNE vs. ANGELINA LOVE: Obviously Angelina Love wouldn’t be taking on Velvet Sky just yet, so kicking this feud between Love and the Beautiful People with a match against Madison Rayne makes a lot of sense. Angelina Love doing her part of the typical Beautiful People entrance was a great touch and the match was a bit more of a vicious brawl than strict wrestling. Both women acted like it was personal and more about hurting the other. Love going over, but getting beaten down by the numbers game when Sky and Lacey Von Erich came out makes sense. I didn’t like Rayne no selling being sore/injured once the Beautiful People gained the upper hand on Love, but, otherwise, this segment did everything it needed to and did it all very well.

  • PURGATORY:

    THE BAND NEEDS TO GET ITS ACT TOGETHER: Call me a mark for stories that reflect reality, I don’t care, but building this story about Hall and Waltman just wanting to screw around and not wrestle works for me. It does a lot of things right: it sets up Hogan and Bischoff as not wanting to simply give their buddies cushy spots and big contracts without any work; it recreates that Outsiders vibe for Hall and Waltman, but does so in a different way by him them seem like invaders from the past, that they’re two guys who don’t get that their antics won’t work here; it puts Kevin Nash in between the two sides since he understands where everyone is coming from; and it puts some strain on the relationship of Nash and Eric Young, which means, finally, Young gets to show up on screen. This story comes off as a response to what a lot of critics have been saying about Hall and Waltman coming to TNA and does so in a pretty intelligent way. I thought the number of segments devoted to it was too many, but this definitely has the potential to be an engaging story.

    ORLANDO JORDAN vs. ‘THE POPE’ D’ANGELO DINERO: The best part of this match was the promo that the Pope cut backstage prior to it. Talking about how he spent all day watching videos of his opponent: Jumpin’ Jack Flash, The Color Purple, and Sister Acts 1 & 2! The Pope has a lot of natural charisma and it’s really coming across in his promos. It was funny and made me excited for the match. The match itself was pretty average and ended a little too abruptly. Just when it looked like Jordan was going to begin working Dinero’s injured knee, the match was over. Unexpected finishes are nice sometimes, but this was one that left me baffled. I didn’t buy Dinero getting pinned when he did. Jordan going over is the right call, but they could have given the match a better ending.

    ABYSS’S ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN MR. ANDERSON’S WORDS: I’ve always found Anderson entertaining on the mic. He can be a little grating at times, but his gimmick is solid and he can talk well. I have no problem with him using the same gimmick from when he was in the WWE since it seemed like one of those ‘extensions of the performer’s personality’ gimmicks that are, usually, the best kind. His promo was pretty good and set him up as a heel possibly, and they played Abyss standing behind him perfectly. It went on longer than I thought they’d let it, but it was generally good. My only complaints are that I’m not sure Abyss is the right guy for Anderson to be feuding against and, also, that god-awful backstage segment between Abyss and Bischoff after.

  • THE WRONG:

    MICK FOLEY RETURNS AND WANTS TO TALK BUSINESS WITH BISCHOFF: He’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack! And it’s looking like a swerve. Foley shows up, takes out the British Invasion after their match with Morgan and Hernandez ala Tomko, Bobby Lashley, and the Band in recent weeks (overkill of that angle a bit, folks?) and demands a meeting with Bischoff. He then returns when Hogan and Bischoff came out to address the Impact Zone (which went nowhere and only fed this story and the Band story) and gets carried back to Bischoff’s office. This results in a closed-door meeting and an end to the show with Bischoff coming out bloody and firing Mick Foley. Does anyone smell that? I think I’m catching a whiff of swerve in the air. This story seems to come straight from the Attitude Era and should have stayed there.

    THE BRITISH INVASION vs. MATT MORGAN & HERNANDEZ: A return match for the tag titles had some promise and it looked like the match was going to be worked in a way that had Morgan and Hernandez retain while the British Invasion still looks good. The first part of the match was geared to showing that the Brits work better as a team than their opponents, but Morgan and Hernandez are better singles wrestlers than either member of the British Invasion. That’s a smart way to build the match where you can have Morgan and Hernandez go over by simply isolating their opponents and out-wrestling them one-on-one. But, they went for the screwy finish that was painfully obvious when Rob Terry came out. The actual briefcase shot was so slow and predictable that I thought maybe they were going to swerve and have it connect on its intended target. But nope. The match didn’t make anyone look good and was a waste of time.

    BUBBA THE LOVE SPONGE CALLS JEFF JARRETT: Radio on television… TNA knows what wrestling fans have been missing oh yes. I know who Bubba the Love Sponge is, but why should I care? He’s a new backstage interviewer and Jarrett wants him in on a meeting with Hogan? Why? This was pure death and the only thing that made it better was when part three ended with the instruction to hear more online, meaning that I no longer had to listen to Jarrett’s whining and Bubba’s demands that he get to talk.

    BOBBY LASHLEY WANTS TO STAY IN TNA: Wow, that was an abrupt turn that makes no sense whatsoever. Maybe everyone remembered that Lashley has a shot at the world belt that he still hasn’t used. Anyway, this was meant to turn Lashley back to being a face, I suppose, but it was just workmanlike and didn’t do anything other than tell everyone “Hey, that story that’s been going on for the last few weeks? Not doing that anymore!” which is more than TNA usually does when it just drops a story, but is still pretty bad.

    AJ STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE FOR THE BELT… AGAIN aka THE ORLANDO SCREWJOB? REALLY?: For the third time in three weeks, we get AJ Styles versus Kurt Angle for the world belt and I wasn’t complaining. The match itself was pretty good. It wasn’t as good as their first match of the month on the live Impact, but the change in AJ’s character gave it some fresh moments. AJ using various Ric Flair tactics worked well, especially that unseen low blow. AJ did a good job of selling his arrogant heel character, while Angle seemed somewhat frustrated and baffled by it at times. But, a lot of the match was stuff we’ve seen from these two guys this month without many changes. It looked like it was going to be a solid three- to three-and-a-half star match until the ending, which was just bad in a repeat of the Montreal Screwjob finish that made no sense in this context. So, the way to distinguish yourself from the WWE is to repeat one of their most controversial angles months after they did so with CM Punk and the Undertaker, and during a time when Bret Hart is actually back in the WWE? What are they thinking? And I get doing it when AJ had Kurt’s submission move on him, but it would have worked better with the figure four to play up the Flair influence. All that was missing was Angle spelling out WWE with his finger for the camera. I really hope that this goes somewhere good, but taken alone, that ending was awful and pretty much ruined a good match. (Also, Angle is allowed to say ‘bullshit,’ but the fans aren’t? No fair!)

  • THE RIDICULOUS:

    THE NASTY BOYS vs. KEVIN NASH & ERIC YOUNG: I really, really, really, really hoped after this match was announced that Team 3D or Hall and Waltman would somehow stop it by jumping the Nasty Boys or Eric Young before the match. Normally, I don’t hope for people to get jumped prior to matches, but I definitely was in this case and, wow, that match was putrid. Sags was the better of the two Nastys and he was still pretty damn bad. The duo were never great in-ring technicians and things have only gotten worse over the past decade or so. Knobbs looked like he was going to collapse from exhaustion after being the ring for all of a minute and a half. And god help us all when it was Knobbs and Nash interacting because that was like watching a really bad match in slow motion, particularly that take down of Nash on the outside that allowed the double-team win. Normally, the presence of Eric Young would earn this match some points, but he was the only guy who actually looked like he belonged in a ring and he had to eat the pin.

    The 411

    Wow, these shows keep going up and down like a yo-yo. The show started great and was mostly serviceable the rest of the time. Four of the five matches had awful endings, which is unacceptable. Granted, one of those matches was awful leading up to the end, but still. The AJ/Kurt rematch had some potential, but didn’t click entirely and had one of the most baffling and wrong-minded finishes I can remember in recent history. The segments on Foley and Jarrett were awful. The absence of guys like Desmond Wolfe, Daniels, Samoa Joe, and anyone from the X-Division was noticeable and baffling. Almost anything good about this episode was hurt by stupid booking decisions and all of the bad stuff from previous weeks continued to happen. Oh, and the Nasty Boys wrestled. And won.

    SHOW RATING: 3.5



    By: Jeremy Thomas

    WWE SmackDown 12.18.09

    QUICK RESULTS:
    Finlay d. Batista by DQ [*]
    John Morrison & R-Truth d. Drew McIntyre & Chris Jericho [** 3/4]
    Kane d. Cryme Tyme and Mike Knox & Charlie Haas [DUD]
    Matt Hardy & The Great Khali d. The Hart Dynasty [* 1/4]

  • THE RIGHT:

    BATISTA vs. FINLAY: SmackDown kicked off with the Manimal coming down to ringside, much to the crowd’s disgust. I have to say, I’ve been enjoying how they’ve been incorporating the spotlight into his entrance; it’s one of the small touches that helps get his character over. Meanwhile, Finlay at least seems to have gotten sole possession of the Irish entrance music while Horny’s rocking D-X green. Finlay’s become the Val Venis of the latest era in the WWE; the guy who always gets support from the fans and helps get other guys over by virtue of solid work. He actually got quite an opportunity to look good here as he had some solid moments of control, before Big Dave snapped and drew the disqualification. From this moment it was all ‘Tista and he brutalized Finlay before rolling him into the ring and spinebusting him. He then got on the mic and promised 29 more of those at the Royal Rumble. Now, if you look up at the match ratings then you’ll see this was far from a good match—it was way too short for that—but it did exactly what it needed to by letting Big Dave look like a monster without burying Finlay. The promo was decent as well, especially considering Dave’s usually-iffy promo skills. All in all it may not be the barn-burner we’re used to from the Blue Brand’s opening matches, but it did its job well.

    THE STRAIGHT-EDGE SOCIETY, PART III: So this is what the Straight-Edge Society should be about. Punk and Gallows came out to the ramp, and Punk talked about how they had become Number One contenders to the Unified Tag Team Titles because they were straight edge and Michaels and ‘H were corrupt individuals. Punk did more of his usual talking down and insulting the fans—they’re cowards who hide behind yadda yadda—and wow did the crowd just loathe him for it. He talked more about pledging allegiance to the Straight Edge Society and out ran a woman desperate to be saved. I loved this because yes, it’s Serena Deeb and she was of course a plant, but it played out very nicely and was off-the-cuff enough that it seemed more real than just picking someone out of the crowd. Plus, it makes Serena different than the others…she didn’t wait to be picked; she ran out and begged to be saved. She didn’t talk much, but what she did was solid and it helped out this segment. Punk was in top form as always and you have to give Serena props for letting her head be shaved. The whole segment came off wonderfully and Serena played it off very nicely. You have to assume, since she had a much bigger role than the last two guys (and since Mickie James Tweeted “welcome to the dance” in her direction), that she’s probably going to be sticking around and I’m hopeful for that; it definitely continues to make the Blue Brand the place to be for the Divas.

    DREW McINTYRE & CHRIS JERICHO vs. JOHN MORRISON (AND R-TRUTH): Ahh, handicap matches. You just had to imagine that this wasn’t just going to be a flat-out handicap match, because Morrison’s not over enough to beat both of them and McIntyre & Jericho would gain nothing by beating Morrison. So instead we got R-Truth coming out to the delight of the crowd. Morrison and Truth worked very well as a team, and as one might expect the in-ring action here was solid the whole way through. I’m still surprised to see how hard they’re pushing Truth as of late, but he looked competitive and on an even keel with Jericho…which says a lot. It’s also very notable that McIntyre & Jericho worked together quite nicely as well. They had good timing on their heel tactics, and I loved Jericho coming down off the apron to shout at the announcers. Morrison did well as the face-in-peril and the heels did some solid working over of him; the crowd was reacting very nicely throughout. When Morrison finally did make the tag to Truth the crowd went ballistic and Truth did some good stuff as the man on fire. Morrison then got his revenge and helped Truth pick up the win, which led to a surprising result of Truth pinning Jericho. It was a fantastic TV match that I enjoyed the hell out of.

  • PURGATORY:

    BETH JOINS THE DARK SIDE: When we came back from commercial, Team Lay-Cool was in the ring for a “Piggie James Good-Bye Party.” Oh my GOD, have they gotten annoying as hell. Let’s face it, folks…I may have my problems with TNA, but they have the far better Beautiful People stable. All the joking around about the pig cakes and such brought out Maria and her serious face, down to basically agree with me that they’re annoying. Maria told them it was ending there and then. You know, I think this is easily the smartest Maria’s played off, and—um, when did Maria get mic skills? I mean don’t get me wrong, she’s always been okay, but she was surprisingly solid here. Team Lay-Cool made jokes about Maria being a reality star on Celebrity Apprentice, and then repeated the same jokes over and over about Maria being underfed. This finally brought Mickie out, and she got on the mic as she walked down to the ring. She stood up and told the girls that she’d dealt with people like them her whole life, and that she and those in the crowd were what real women looked liked. Girl power! But hey, am I the only one who would have marked the hell out if she’d said “I am Mickie James, BITCH!” instead of just the first four of those words? Maybe it’s just me.

    Anyway, the whole point here was to push Mickie and Michelle’s match at the Royal Rumble…and it wasn’t going too badly. I wasn’t ga-ga over it, but it was all right. Then Beth came down. No disrespect to the Glamazon at all, but I was highly disappointed with having her join up with Team Lay-Cool. They were doing such cool stuff with her as a tweener, and this was a bad ending to an otherwise interesting turn for her character. Sure, it got crowd heat, and I’m pretty sure Mickie’s going to get the Women’s Title at the Rumble as a finale to this angle, but because they went the cheap way out with Beth’s character I can’t get behind this.

    REY REY AND TAKER MEET IN THE RING…OH, HI DAVE!: So our main event interview featured Rey Rey coming out to the arena’s delight. He talked about how he was being told how stupid he was to call out Taker all day, but he was doing it because he had a dream to live and a walking nightmare to go through in order to get to it. I’ll admit, that wasn’t a bad line. Basically, this was Rey Rey doing his “little guy with a big heart and no fear” routine, and…well, it worked with the crowd. Of course the Dead Man got his entrance and the crowd popped huge. The two guys had a pretty decent back-and-forth for a couple of guys who have never been considered great promo men. Taker had some nice reactions to Rey’s gumption and at the same time, Rey was doing a little shifting in the ring as he kept his distance. It was a decent—not spectacular, but very serviceable—promo from the duo to cap off the show.

    So why is this in puRgatoRy? Frankly, for the last minute or so. Injecting Big Dave into the segment took the focus off where it should be, and that’s the challenger and champion. This is supposed to be a one-on-one match, and they can’t help tossing ‘Tista’s big-ass shadow over the whole thing. I think it’s a remarkably poor decision because it’s sidetracking the whole thing and is selling Rey Rey short, as if the REAL fight is Dave and Taker. I didn’t appreciate that and thus, no Right.

  • THE WRONG:

    CRYME TYME vs. MIKE KNOX & CHARLIE HAAS KANE KILLS EVERYONE: So, we had a match here and a rare TV appearance from Charlie Haas. Glad to see homeboy’s still got a job. But before they could get far into a match, down came Kane. He wiped the floor with everyone, which was apparently his big statement for the Rumble. Okay, I appreciate they wanted to build Kane up a bit in order to give him a touch more cred going into the Rumble, but did they really need to have him interrupt what wasn’t even a match? I’ve never dug on that, and while I like the Big Red Monster, I didn’t dig this either. There are better ways to do this kind of thing, and Kane can be put over without wasting time with a “match.” Try a little harder next time, Creative.

    THE HART DYNASTY vs. MATT HARDY & THE GREAT KHALI: Wow, so that wasn’t a one-time teaming? Whatever works, I guess; I still don’t understand this pairing but whatever. I’m not opposed to the teaming because they’re semi-doing something with Matt, and it limits Khali’s in-ring time. This started off with DH and Tyson taking control of Matt and double-teaming him nicely, which helped get the duo over a bit with the crowd. There was a little bit of humor here as well as Natalya tried to seduce Khali, but it was all for naught as Matt rolled up Smith for the pinfall. So don’t get me wrong, I like Matt, but the Harts basically lost a handicap match to a mid-level guy (who is, admittedly, permanently over with the crowd). This match was really short and didn’t do much for anyone and I couldn’t give it a pass.

  • THE RIDICULOUS:

    DID YOU KNOW?: Nope. And, as always, I don’t care.

    The 411

    On paper if you map this out by Rights, puRgatoRies and wRongs, this was a pretty good show. However, it all added up to something a bit less spectacular. They started off very strong but it tapered out into a generally unsatisfying last hour. Sure, everything came off the way it may have intended, but this seemed to be more of a “going through the motions” thing that set in places things we already knew or threw people in the wrong direction (Hi Beth!). I certainly didn’t hate this and I’m glad to see Serena on the main roster though, so I’ll give it a very, very mild recommendation.

    SHOW RATING: 6.5

    From Jeremy from Palmdale:
    I was thinking that with Cena reportedly working through a back injury, he should be working in a tag team. Kofi doesn’t really need that rub though. But with Evan Bourne’s ability to take one hell of ass kicking, and Cena’s ability to not, they could work together well

    I don’t think that Kofi needs the rub too much, but it at least gives him something to do instead of wandering aimlessly while they try to find his next big feud. I do agree that Cena and Bourne might work together well, but that’s not going to happen because Bourne barely figures into the midcard scene, let alone the main event scene.

    From Guest#5423:
    4.0 for RAW?

    Heder was hilarious and worked really well with Miz and Johnson. Hell Johnson didn’t phone it in at all. “Vice made that in a week.” Seriously he was great. I don’t know what you were expecting but they were loads better than Damon, Miller, or Troyer.

    RAW was at least a 7.0.

    From Westen:
    I loved Heder because he was actually willing to play the heel, and he had charisma. I don’t understand the hate at all.

    From Bobby:
    Can’t agree more. The guest host thing is starting to wear a lil thin w/ me, but I was pleasently surprised by Heder. Johnson was just kind of there, but Heder looked like he actually wanted to be there and was willing to look like an idiot in the main event. Yes other hosts have looked like idiots as well, but he didn’t look like he was dreading it.

    From Anonymous:
    Heder was awesome. I tapped hard when he blew feathers into the camera during his entrance. Awesome stuff.

    From Guest#9229:
    how is raw a 4.0? i thought Heder did great and played a heel perfect like he was a fan of the sport. I loved his kippen joke that got the crowd in a frenzy. He knew how to play the part. Are you sure this is your raiting or just one hatred towards the actor? Because that was a bull crap raiting.

    Clearly, you guys didn’t read well enough. I liked Heder’s performance on Raw…except for his presence in the main event match, but even that had things which made me laugh. My problem was with Don Johnson and the rest of the show. Were the two guest hosts better than Damon, Miller & Troyer? Yes, but that’s like saying Date Movie is better than Epic Movie; it doesn’t mean the former is actually that good. Anyway, the spotty-to-terrible wrestling for the most part were far more influencing on the ratings. Has nothing to do with whether I liked Heder. Which, once more, I did. Thanks for reading though!

    From Baron Skinny:
    What kind of person doesn’t like Napoleon Dynamite? Blades of Glory is all kinds of funny aswell. I say book Heder in The Rumble and have him eliminate The Bearded Midget Retard.

    I enjoy Blades of Glory to a degree. But yes, I dislike Napoleon Dynamite quite a bit. Listen, humor is subjective and nothing in that movie struck me personally as funny. It’s just how it is sometimes.

    From Cyrith:
    What really brought the main event down for me was making Big Show sell the tadpole splash. That was not even close to needed. Good to see Shawn sell for Miz, though that couldn’t save it for me.

    From fanboi13:
    Exactly. The Big Show routinely no sells the offense of much bigger men than Hornswaggle,but we are to believe that a little guy like him can hurt Show with a splash. Give me a break.

    Pretty much what these guys said. Seriously, that was some weak sauce right there.

    From Norm Peterson:
    “Horny and Heder had no business being in there…”

    Neither did Miz. Get off his dick everyone, Miz is terrible. Don’t tell me he’s improved or is improving. He sucks and he’s no better than Kennedy, who everyone had a boner for once upon a time. Big-mouths with halfway decent (at best) mic skills. But they suck a big bag of dog dicks in the ring.

    You’re entitled to your opinion, Norm…at least, until you get insulting. Then you just get mocked. Thanks for reading!

    From Joe Schmoe:
    No, Jeremy is fully right in giving Raw a 4.0. Every angle leading up to the Rumble (except the Taker-HBK promo) was terribly mishandled. The MVP-Miz feud set up by last week’s brilliant promo was completely, utterly buried. Sheamus was booked to look worthless as a wrestler and an entertainer (he’s not). Heder was unexpectedly good, as he gave the impression that he’s actually a real wrestling fan, but that’s not enough to save the show.

    The worst part of this Raw was the paucity of any good wrestling. Cena-Kofi v. Legacy was decent at best. Orton did an admirable job selling for Masters, but Masters is more boring than dry paint.

    The divas match was one of the worst wrestling matches I have ever seen, hands down. An incredible embarrassment to the “wrestlers” involved, to the WWE, and to womens’ wrestling in general. On this alone I disagree with the reviewer–putting it in the wrong is a travesty of generosity. This match is what the ri-god-damn-diculous category was made for.

    In retrospect I will admit that I was a bit generous to the Diva match…I can’t even figure out why to be honest. But yes, I agree with this pretty much verbatim.

    From The Great Capt. Smooth:
    Was anybody else wanting Jon Heder to come out to “The Flame” by Cheap Trick?

    Okay, that would have admittedly been awesome.

    From Guest#5358:
    I can tolerate Hornswaggle,but this week the E went back to pushing him down our collective throats. Note to WWE (un)creative: Having him distract DX’s opponents and participate in short sketches (keyword short) I can live with and even occcasionally enjoy.However,having him in the main event is just overkill.

    That’s pretty much my take. People can gripe about him in everything he’s in or talk about how he’s fine being whereever they put him, but I fall right in the middle. If they want to use him fine…just not like this.

    From ASK HIM!:
    Thanks for writing!

    You’re welcome!

    Until Friday, keep on kickin’ it!

    ~440~

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