Five-Star Conversation 01.26.10: The Hogan/Bischoff Regime, Kong & Bubba.

Posted by Geoff Eubanks on 01.26.2010

So what do we think about last week's iMPACT! and what can we tell about TNA's new direction as a result? Also, what's up with Awesome Kong?!

DID YOU KNOW? "Cast Member" is what Disneyland calls people who take out their trash. Just sayin.

This has absolutely nothing to do with the rasslin, but is anyone else as stoked on Kick Ass coming to theaters as I am?



McLovin' the crime fighter? FTW!!! I met Aaron Johnson (who plays the title character) a year or so ago and he's great kid. It's nice to see him get such killer role. Can't even tell that American accent is affected, can you?

TNA iMPACT!
So I was chillin at the desk at work on a long, dragging Friday afternoon last week. I dialed up Joseph Martinez' iMPACT! report for the 01.21.2010 edition; after all, we've done enough opining and speculating for two promotions, and all we really could say with any assurance was "We'll just have to wait and see what happens." Well, the new Hogan/Bischoff regime is firmly entrenched in power and the times, as a great man once said, are a-changin. I must say, Martinez' report intrigued me, so I headed over to YouTube.com to see if the show had been posted, and there it was! So, with nothing but time on my hands, I decided to give it a go, and I have to say, I was pretty pleased overall with what I saw.

Now, don't get me wrong, there was nothing revolutionary or groundbreaking about what TNA gave us last Thursday; we still have the same familiar format that was established back on Raw and Nitro during The Monday Night Wars and that has pretty much become the standard in the modern industry, complete with the extended opening promo segment (which I, personally, neither like or dislike, as the merit of opening the show in this manner is highly dependant upon the quality of those doing the talking). And I don't necessarily know that TNA has been turned upside-down as was promised by Hulk Hogan, but I did get the impression that, overall, good things resulted as a consequence of the guidance of the new regime, for the most part.

Now, those who know me, or, at least, who have followed this column since the news broke of Hogan and Bischoff coming to TNA, are aware how deeply and for how long I have absolutely despised Hogan, and that my feelings for Bischoff aren't any warmer, just that Hogan has quite a headstart in the hatred department. However, I'm committed to not being one of those hypocrites who sits from on high and bashes a product and its' decisions while not watching it firsthand to formulate and express an honest opinion, or to damn an entire franchise simply by virtue of who runs or works for it. I was expecting to have to grit my teeth to get through the entire show (that I expected to drag), but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I actually rather enjoyed the show, overall.

I think one of the greatest fears for those of us concerned about Hogan's TNA arrival was that he'd completely insinuate himself into the main even title picture to appease his bloated ego and massive obsession for attention. I'm super stoked to see this doesn't appear to be the case at all thus far, and, quite to the contrary, we're continuing to see two of the greatest wrestlers of our time in Kurt Angle and AJ Styles circumnavigating the TNA Title, with Styles remaining the champion. It's also great to see Ric Flair coming along for the ride in a mentorship role on Styles behalf, which can only serve the champ well. Seeing Styles being treated like the star he deserves to be, getting the recognition from Hogan & Bischoff and the star rub from a legend like Flair speaks a lot to me about how actively valued Styles is to the company and that is a great sign.

I'll admit to having been concerned that Styles was turning heel, because, generally speaking, a heel has to be better on the mic than does a face, and if Styles has a weakness, it's his verbal delivery, but it seems as if Flair is actually working with Styles, which can only mean good things. The Phenomenal One is already displaying improvement with respect to cutting an effective heel promo with Naitch's guidance.

Now, whether or not you like the story attached to the main event scene is another matter. I'm all for keeping the awesome pairing of Styles/Angle going, just because the matches have been so enjoyable, and now, with Flair in Styles' corner and the proverbial double-turn having gone down, we now have a whole different dynamic with which to play.

However, we saw one of the old school aspects of the manner in which Hogan and Bischoff book that has always grated my nerves – no one baits and switches like these two; add in Vince Russo to that recipe, too, and you never know what's going to happen…but not in a good way, as far as I'm concerned. I personally can't stand baiting-&-switching in wrestling, especially when match stipulations are on the line. If Match X is Wrestler A's last shot at winning a title from Wrestler B, Match X should stand, notwithstanding the outcome. I don't like it when WWE does this, either, so I'm not being a waffling hypocrite here (and correct me if I'm wrong, I think even McMahonagement stuck to that stipulation in Randy Orton's regard where John Cena was concerned, didn't they…?). However, here we had Hogan backing up Angle and pulling out that same line I never bought from my parents when I was a kid, "Because I'm in charge and I said so!" That just feels weak to me and if I want to see partial authority figures, I've already got WWE and, to a lesser extent, RoH. That, to me, just doesn't feel terribly revolutionary, it's just using a different color on the same blueprint.

Tarantino-ing forward to the main event, which was a rematch for The TNA Title between Styles and Angle, I find myself pretty torn here, too. First of all, and most glaringly, WTF are we using a Montreal Screw-job in TNA? That means we have the main story on Raw and TNA being based on something that went down like 12 years ago. To both franchises, I say, that's anything but innovative and fresh, which is what Hogan has been promising us as he headed to TNA; at least, with WWE, it was the first opportunity for Bret Hart to actually be involved since it took this long for Hart and Vince McMahon to settle down over each other. The only real common denominator TNA has is Earl Hebner, and that's a pretty weak connection, IMO. I understand it's setting up something bigger, which we'll get to in a moment, but it's a lame finish…thank God it didn't go down like that on PPV!

On the other hand, we saw Mick Foley having an issue (to put it mildly) with Bischoff and the manner in which this whole backstage power struggle has gone down. We know how cuddly these two are with one another in real life, so the animosity we saw on-screen likely wasn't too terribly manufactured, as Bischoff was ducking Foley's attempts to sit down for a little business chat. They eventually did manage a behind-closed-doors tête-à-tête and, following the whole Title match debacle (that ended with Angle swearing ad nauseum like me playing Wii Tennis last weekend, spitting a looger in Hogan's face, convinced he's been screwed by his new boss who he thought was on his side), a bloody Bischoff staggered into the middle of the ring to announce that Mick Foley has been effectively fired.



(My apologies for the audio being a little out-of-sync there…I've been noticing a lot of that on YouTube lately…)

Now, here again, is something I dislike about the Hogan/Bischoff style of booking…doesn't it seem as if someone is always walking out, quitting or being dramatically fired? Granted, it did my heart good to see Hogan splattered in spit and Bischoff busted open, but, again, it just seems like the same old stuff, just with different players. Different for TNA? Yes. Different for the business itself? Not at all. Interesting? Depends on your point of view, I suppose, and, certainly, how it all evolves and wraps up and what the effects of it all end up being for the long haul, which, of course, remains to be seen. Thus far, it just seems like a contrived retread of stuff we've all seen before. That's not to suggest that the story wasn't well-executed by all involved, because it was, quite a bit, in fact; it's just the story itself I find suspect.

We also had some inanity coming from Bubba The Love Sponge (honestly, did this dick name himself, or did he lose a bet?) calling Jeff Jarrett and harassing him over TNA goings-on where they apparently have set up a face-to-face meeting between Jarrett and Hogan to build off the promo that "didn't go according to plan" on the big three-hour kick-off show. These clips were asinine and a trial to sit through in my view, but I will give Hogan and Bischoff a little credit for trying to utilize the tools at their disposal (and, in this case, you can ascribe whatever meaning you like in my referring to Bubba as a tool) to advance their plotlines, and for having done so in a medium other than the program or the web site themselves. Of course the fact that it completely sucked is another matter, mainly because Bubba is such an insufferable cock and Jarrett has never been an entertaining interview to me, but kudos for them for trying.

Now this is just supposition on my part, but I'm starting to get the feeling we're going to see yet another chapter in gang warfare in TNA, this time, between the old WCW guard and the TNA faithful, mainly, Hogan, Bischoff, Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Sean Waltman, Styles and Bubba all representing the former, and Angle, Jarrett, Foley, Jeremy Borasch, Eric Young (who will be screwed over by Nash in the process), Bobby Lashley (who has been trying to make peace with Bischoff and secure a place on the roster without his wife's mouth talking for him, as you can see for yourself in the below video at 2:20). The only thing that confuses me in that scenario is, if Styles has turned heel and has Flair as his mentor, where does that all work together considering Flair hates Hogan, or is that all an issue that will come together once Hogan turns on TNA, which I can see him doing?

Speaking of Hall & Waltman, the one bust-out laughing moment for me was when Waltman, who, let's just say was at his "confused" best, got pwn3d big time by, of all people, Hall! Check it out for yourself, beginning at 9:04 (with the in-ring return of former member of The Beautiful People, Angelina Love directly preceding it):



Ba-ZING! Like, this, Pac:



Go over that TNA Wellness Policy with me one more time, Dixie…?

Earlier in the show, we had a successful TNA TTT defense from new champions Hernandez & Matt Morgan, whom we know are both priorities with the company, and, because Hernandez works better in a team environment, by and large, than he does solo, and Morgan could still use some time cementing his fairly new face run, this isn't a bad pairing at all, even if they did manage to wipe out former champions The British Invasion with relative ease. It seems as if we might see Rob Terry splitting away from the team, though, which initially seems like a bit of a mistake, considering he's the least adept in the ring; allowing him to go solo at this point, to give him a featured singles role could be pretty ugly, as opposed to being the well-utilized muscle backing up the technical team. I really hope we're not going to see Magnus and (especially) Williams swept under the rug by the new regime, because they've been an effective team from what I've seen. If any of the three should head into singles action, it should be Doug Williams, but Terry has the physique, brother. But at least we're seeing the tag titles given some attention, which is a great thing!

Okay, I took some criticism recently for having judged Orlando Jordan based upon the work I'd seen of his from his WWE run quite a few years ago, as opposed to his more current efforts, and I took that criticism, because I admit that's unfair of me to do so, especially if he's improved in the interim and I've not seen it. I also said I'd keep an eye peeled for him in TNA and rescind my erred opinion if he has, indeed, improved.

Well, what I saw this week in Jordan's match against D'Angelo Dinero wasn't enough for me to really sit back and say, "Damn! Check him out!" However, he certainly appeared to exude an increased amount of genuine self-confidence as he strutted to the ring (to a damn good entrance theme, too!). The match itself was a fine television match and first meeting between two performers who seem destined to work a complete angle with one another. This was more an extended feeling-out/territory-marking process than anything, really, therefore it's difficult to really judge either man's efforts with any real confidence or authority, but it certainly makes me want to see more of these two!

Also, a great thing with the way this scenario played was the fact that Jordan took advantage of the fact that Dinero had taken a hell of a beating on his knee at the Genesis PPV the Sunday prior from his clash with Desmond Wolfe, and took advantage of it to win this introductory contest, so we had continuity here, which is never a bad thing. A minor quibble? I'd have much preferred to have seen Jordan really go to town on Dinero's leg following the dragon screw legwhip, with Jordan walking with the victory after the ref stopped the match to prevent Dinero further injury, thus giving The Pope a much greater purpose in seeking retribution, but that's just me.

And a Dinero promo is always going to make me smile, and that's never a bad thing, either. Tonight was no exception.

As I mentioned earlier and is available in the above video, Angelina Love made her return to TNA tonight, facing off against the retooled (and highly inferior) Beautiful People, defeating Madison Rayne rather convincingly in a fun little KnockOuts match that ended with her getting her "Cook would pay big money to get his hands on her" ass handed to her by her former stable. Love is one of my favorite women in wrestling of the last decade and I'm really pleased to see her return, although I'm not sure how she'll work as a face, all by herself. As outnumbered as she is at present, it makes sense for her to find a partner or two (although I'd be just as stoked to see Velvet Sky turn on Rayne and Lacey Von Erich and have a "War of The Beautiful People").

(I tried finding the promo video when Love said she's "not ‘scurred'" of Awesome Kong, but I couldn't unearth it.)

Hands down, the worst part of the night was the in-ring return of The Nasty Boys. I've been watching all the old Survivor Series PPVs recently and, even back in the day, Jerry Sags and Brian Knobbs were much longer on attitude than actual wrestling acumen. Two decades later, they've depreciated accordingly and it made me sick to see Eric Young, tagging with Kevin Nash, take that disgusting Pit Stop and a clean pinfall to The Nastys, and not just because I'd hoped to high heaven that I'd seen the last of one of my own personal least favorite teams in history. Young has a long history with TNA and was finally getting a shot anchoring World Elite. He's a champion for Flair's sake! Yet here he is getting this treatment. Of course, this could all be setting up something later on, as I speculated earlier, but considering the new regime, you have to look at things like being featured or not, wins and losses as possible clues with respect to who may still be around and functioning inside six months and who may be sending feelers to Connecticut.

Finally we have the confrontation between Ken Anderson and Abyss, who met for the first time at Genesis, with Anderson going over in sneaky heel fashion by laying out The Monster with a brass knuckles-fortified roll of fives to the jaw. Anderson hit the ring to lay down the kind of promo we've come to associate with him, descending microphone and all, only for Abyss to sneak up behind him as he was badmouthing his foe, to get the jump on him, assuming to extend their feud. This was fun and functional, because it displayed Abyss' playful, childlike personality while allowing Anderson to be Anderson. It's not going to headline any PPVs, but it's certainly a fun midcard attraction. Furthermore, I'm pleased to see Abyss being utilized, because I was afraid he'd be rolled over and lost in the shuffle, having failed to find favor in the eyes of the new regime. He's a committed, franchise player and I think he still has a lot of time yet to evolve as a character.

That's pretty much an item-by-item look at the show, for good and bad. Now let's look at the more esoteric parts of "the new" iMPACT!, for good and bad:

The pacing for this show was fantastic. For as uninspired and "seen-it" as some of the formatting and writing may have been in places, there was momentum throughout the entire program that really makes WWE programming reflect the age of its' owner. Too, there was a real sense of direction, in that, everything had purpose and was all leading somewhere, whereas, previously, a fair amount of iMPACT! programming has dragged and felt somewhat arbitrary and meandering - Does this match I'm watching have a purpose, or are we just throwing something on TV to fill time? Is this setting up a feud? Should I invest in this? This is what we have WWE for, after all! This is all very good and is a quality we need to have in an episodic wrestling-related television show.

However, in having run such a tight ship on this show, let's have a look at how much of the roster never made it to TV at all: Daniels, Jeff Hardy, Shannon Moore, Sean Morely, Jesse Norman, The Amazing Red, Rhino, Samoa Joe, Shark Boy, Scott Steiner, Suicide, Desmond Wolfe, Beer Money, Dr. Stevie & Raven, Lethal Consequences, The Motor City Machine Guns, Homicide, Kiyoshi and Brian Kendrick.

That's a LOT of contracted talent who didn't make TV this week, but we can rule out some folks: Hardy was likely signed to trot out to start a buzz (no pun intended) on the three-hour show, and is being given some time off to prepare for his court date. Morely might have been sidelined as a consequence of having turned in a universally-panned performance the week prior (after I put him over as being a great mechanic!). I know you rolled your eyes when I mentioned Shark Boy, but the treatment EY received at the hands and armpits of The Nasty Boys is pretty much why he's on board. I also understand that Alex Shelley has been shelved with an injury, so his absence from the show tonight is understandable, too. There's also a European tour on-going at the moment, and, judging from the house show results I've read, it appears that a good number of the above-named talent is providing some action across the pond, with a handful of bigger names required to work TV having been shipped over later on.

However, with so much going down on TV this week that felt so forward-moving, part of me wants to wonder if many ships have sailed in terms of where the intended-for-television stories are headed and if one wasn't on board, if their place on iMPACT! in the coming weeks could be incidental? Also, did anyone else notice the complete absence of anything X-Division-related tonight? I've said it from the very beginning and I'll say it now, I'm really concerned about The X-Division at this stage in TNA's evolution, which is a shame, because it was at its' inception and could still be now the one unique, homegrown quality about TNA that sets itself apart from WWE.

History has proven, as well, that, despite its' haughty chuckle, WWE does pay attention to TNA and act accordingly when TNA gets something right. When The KnockOuts became a hot attraction for TNA, WWE responded by beefing up its' Divas ranks and featuring them with more prominence. JeriShow and the greater exposure of The UTTTs was a product of TNA fortifying its tag ranks; now DX are the champions. Had TNA not acted to fill a void in American wrestling television, I think we'd still see mid-carders with tag gold in WWE instead of top-tier talent. The current TNA regime has the opportunity to utilize a good chunk of its' roster and some of its' youngest, most dynamic performers in a manner completely unique to the business at the moment and really turn some heads while paying homage to the legacy the franchise carved for itself, but, as I've been saying, Hogan and Bischoff seem content to view The X-Division and its' performers as little more than CruiserWeights with a snappy name. That's a shame.

So I'm really interested to get some feedback from those who have seen this episode, the last one and/or the PPV, and what you think about what TNA is doing now with Hogan and Bischoff running the store. Is it better? Worse? Could you care less?

KONG KILLS BITCHES DEAD!
Awesome Kong went batshit nuts on Bubba The Love Sponge backstage at a TNA event over a statement he made on his radio show that, if I may sum it up, went something like, "Fuck Haiti." I'm not going to place any judgments on Bubba for what he said, because if you can't see how fucking idiotically wrong on so many levels that was, you don't deserve to have it spelled out for you.

He might now have a little more thought, concern and remorse for that which he said and may say in the future after Kong apparently really waled on his smug, doughy ass. The prevailing term being used to describe the encounter was "brutal", Kong raining blows fuh rill-rill, not fuh play-play on Bubba, repeating, "This is for Haiti! This is for Haiti!"

I'm not going to say I condone Kong's outburst, although it does make one want to be a little more cautious about what one says in a public forum, that's for sure. I wonder if we can hook up Kong with Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh…? Now that's something I'd pay to see! The meat of this story is that Kong has asked for her release from TNA as a result of these events, although whether it's to avoid possible punishment for her attack or if she's concerned about her own future in a company run by someone who would bring in someone of the mindset of Bubba. I'm guessing more toward the latter.

And this causes us to have a look at another facet of The Hogan/Bischoff Regime, in that, they tend to hand-pick their preferred players from the roster, write stories for and push them, while leaving the rest of the roster left to their own proverbial devices. This alienates talent and was the catalyst for performers such as Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benioit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Chris Jericho and, ironically, Sean Waltman to leave WCW and jump to The WWF (granted there were other reasons, and each were somewhat individualized, but Hogan and/or Bischoff were certainly paramount contributing factors one way or another). What was it Waltman said, being the first member of the WCW roster to defect to The WWF when he joined d-generation-X? "I got news for ya, Hulkster, if you stop short, Eric Bischoff'll be so far up your ass, he'll be able to tell ya what you had for breakfast!" Or something like that.

Well, here again and already do we see that trend starting to repeat, in that, Hogan's presence and the people he brings with him is alienating talent to the extent that they want off the carousel. And, in Kong's case, before she makes turns Bubba into an actual sponge. It should duly be noted, too, that, in what I can only view as a pact of loyalty and friendship, Alissa Flash/Raisha Saeed/Cheerleader Melissa has also requested to be released from the company along with Kong.

First of all, historically, we've seen TNA talent ask to be let out of their contracts to only be talked into remaining with the company, but this case is somewhat unique. Kong is a huge attraction for the company (granted, not as much as she was a year or so ago), but one wonders exactly how valued her contribution might be to old Strip Club Eric, who likely has a lot more in common with Vince McMahon's ideal notion that Barbie doll knockoffs should populate his women's ranks, although this is simply pure supposition on my part.

And speaking of McMahon, might there be a place on the Divas roster for Kong and Alissa? They decidedly do not have the preferred Divas look, but are solid performers and could potentially contribute quite a bit to the Divas. Alissa, if nothing else, could be hired on to train the Divas to be more effective in the ring and I really would love to see Kong as Maryse's back-up, so she could shoot off her bitchy mouth and have to pay absolutely no consequences whatsoever with Kong watching her back, but that's just an idea.

So is this an isolated incident? Is Hogan and crew going to encourage others to start sniffing around WWE and RoH if they can't cut the proverbial mustard in the eyes of The Hogan/Bischoff Regime? Or is Kong just overreacting to a sensitive situation and seeking to take herself out of a situation before she's removed from it?

That's all for this week! Thank you for reading!

RESPECK!!!