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The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 02.26.10
Posted by John Meehan on 02.26.2010



Hey all - and thanks for tuning in for our regularly scheduled Friday FreeThinks! No point in beating around the bush here, so I'm just going to come right out and say it:

"Yes, we have no bananas Kayfabesbooks."

While I realize how popular this feature truly is, I have been absolutely slammed with work and non-work commitments over the past 14 days (amazing what five feet of snow and a missed week in the office can do), and there was just no way I could devote the necessary time it would have taken to hammer out Facebook Photoshop parodies that were of a high enough quality to warrant inclusion in this week's column.

It's simple: I love the Kayfabesbooks. They make people laugh, and they're a proven hit-generator. But in order to consistently deliver in terms of both humor and quality, they require a TON of time and work. And frankly, I'd rather skip including them for a week (yet again) than simply churn out some sub-par crap that would ultimately end up devaluing the gimmick altogether. Rest assured, however, they will return.

Again, my apologies for the delay -- and thanks for understanding.

(Alternately: feel free to flame away anonymously in the comments section below).

Sound like a plan?

Rock & Roll.



The SELL of the week goes to The Undertaker, who defined the phrase "consummate professional" this week with his outstanding performance during the Elimination Chamber PPV. Normally, I hand out "sell" of the week honors to a performer who made a move or angle look particularly real or convincing, but this week, I've got to tip my hat to The Dead Man, who actually did just the opposite by making a very REAL accident look like it was all just a part of the show. A fireworks mishap is serious bidnizz, yet The Undertaker took a mis-timed pyro blast in stride and gutted it out through an entire PPV main event in spite of the fact that he'd nearly been set on fire. That, my friends, is the mark of a total pro.



The TELL of the week goes to Mark Henry, whose Ace-bandaged torso was supposed to remind fans of the viscious beating he'd recently received at the hands of The Big Show. And to Big Mark's credit? He sold the effects of his wounds of war quite nicely during his match on this week's RAW (case in point: he clearly could be seen grimmacing after squashing The Big Show against the turnbuckle). That is, of course, until he proceeded to catch The Miz as he flew from the top rope -- at which point Henry's "injured" upper body *MAGICALLY* healed itself, and he was suddenly able to fling the onetime reality TV star around as if there was no pain in his shoulders and arms at all. Sorry, Mark -- you're either hurt or you're not, man. And a spade's a spade.





WWE NXT - This week, WWE debuted their so-called "Next Evolution" in professional wrestling, a high-concept wrestling/reality hybrid show known as WWE NXT, which paired eight WWE "pros" up with a corresponding crop of company newcomers (dubbed "rookies"). As this all transpired on one, big television show on Tuesday night, we'll be addressing it in full detail in "The Developments" section below.



Frankie Kazarian - Former TNA X-Division Champion Frankie "Kaz" Kazarian made his official return to TNA programming this week, when he took part in a six-man X-Division exhibition bout to welcome him back to the company's high-flying ranks in familiar fashion. Under the guise of "Suicide," Kaz has remained an active member of the TNA roster for the majority of the time since he "left" the company after repeated failures to secure main event victories some two years ago.

MeeThinks?

Kaz is better off without the Suicide gimmick, as outside factors and injury meant that this gimmick's failed attempt at product cross-promotion was pretty much doomed from the word "go." As a quick frame of reference, here's just a few of the problems that have plagued the Suicide gimmick since its inception in September, 2008:

  • The original voice of the Suicide character (which appears in video packages, video games, television commercials, and the like) was actually recorded by former X-Division Champion Low Ki (a.k.a. Senshi, a.k.a. Kaval). This performer would go on to leave the TNA ranks even before the Suicide character actually has a chance to debut.

  • Kazarian is expected to don the Suicide mask, but a string of injuries force him out of action almost immediately after the character's debut. As a result, fellow "former" TNA superstar Christopher Daniels steps away from his usual (and tremendously popular) Fallen Angel / Curry Man gimmicks in order to keep the character alive in Kazarian's absence.

  • The TNA iMPACT! video game (the primary vehicle for the creation of the Suicide character in the first place) is released in September, 2008, and is almost immediately overwhelmed with apathetic-to-poor reviews. Sales are sluggish, and the video game developer, Midway, actually is forced into bankruptcy within a year of the title's release.

    Obviously -- one can see that the Suicide gimmick quickly became almost synonymous with failure and missed opportunity. And it's really no wonder that Kazarian wanted to do everything in his power to get as far away from the guise as humanly possible (reportedly, he's been lobbying to shed the Suicide act ever since Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff arrived in TNA).

    Moving forward, Kazarian will continue to compete as his unmasked self -- and there are rumors that TNA will continue to use the Suicide gimmick through the use of a third performer under the hood (there is talk of Kiyoshi transitioning into the role). And frankly ("Frankie?")? Being revealed as the man behind the mask so long associated with failure probably would have done very little to help Kazarian pick up *any* momentum upon his re-debut, and so perhaps it's just as well that TNA quietly brought him back into the fold without any real mention as to his whereabouts during the sabbatical.

    As for Kiyoshi? The World Elite seems to be all but extinct, and even though the Suicide gimmick remains something of an albatross for performers like Kazarian who are arguably *MORE* over without it, the fact remains that he's got nothing else of note going on at this stage of the game, and so it's probably the best shot the guy has of making a name for himself (for now) in the TNA landscape.



    It's like real-time reader feedback on steroids

    You've got questions? I've got smarmy comments answers. Keep 'em short, topical, and classy, and I'll post the best of 'em in next week's column.

    Submit your questions here.

    Now then -- onto this week's questions:

    I'm a big Pope fan and am happy with how Tna is using him, but don't you think its a little to early for him competing for world titles.I would of rather seen him have a run with the X-Division or Global title and his finisher isn't really "convincing"

    Convincing? CONVINCING?! Ask the TNA faithful and they'll be more than happy to agree: The Pope is indeed Pimpin.

    I do think that you're right about the relative suddenness of his push, however. It seems like only yesterday (and really, it wasn't long before that) that D'Angelo Dinero was eating a clean loss to Orlando Jordan and mixing it up with Suicide in an X-Division undercard program. But just a few weeks later? The guy is challenging for the company's top prize -- against a freshly minted heel champion who has yet to find himself a proper title program that is both a) fresh, and b) opposite a formidable opponent.

    Now is "The Pope" a *fresh* program? No question.


    His lame attempt at smack-talking catchphrases, however, do leave a little something to be desired.

    But is "The Pope" a *formidable* opponent? That's a tougher call. The basic philosophy of solid booking goes like this: "use one guy who's really over to give another guy the rub. Then rinse and repeat, and you'll end up getting two stars for the price of one."

    Problem is? AJ Styles isn't nearly as "over" as a champion on his own merits as he would need to be in order to create a bona-fide "STAR" out of the guy who eventually takes the belt away from him. That isn't Pope's fault, it's just a simple fact; as it stands now, Styles has *yet* to do anything of note as a champion, and so he looks more like Ric Flair's also-ran lackey than he does a stand-alone "superstar."

    But getting back to The Pope --

    Sure, he's picked up a handful of victories. But along the way, Dinero has also eaten his fair share of losses -- so at best, he's a longshot to claim a title victory. An underdog, if you will.

    And when you couple that with the fact that the champion he'll be facing really hasn't done all that much to prove that he can, in fact, retain the gold on his own merits? Suddenly, we're not looking at David slaying the mighty Golliath here. It's just one "so-so" champion taking on another guy who's "probably not yet ready." And in the end, it seems like AJ Styles would actually benefit *MORE* by earning a victory over Dinero than in putting him over to create a certifiable new main event talent.

    Though I do love the fact that Dinero is getting a proper chance to shine (and really, the X Division gold has been tremendously devalued over the past three years, and the Global Championship was totally useless from the get-go -- so this is as good a shot as any) -- the simple fact is that simply competing in the main event does NOT make you an automatic "main eventer" in the eyes of the paying customers.

    In other words?

    Pope's probably still got a long ways to go.



    It's amazing to see Miz come from that dude on Real World NY to US and 1 half Tag Champ.You think they would include any of his Reality tv stuff on a dvd when they come out with it?

    A passing mention? Maybe. But a full-blown chronology of his MTv "fame"? Doubtful.


    Because really now, can you honestly name more than like, three of the people in this photo?

    First of all, WWE doesn't own the license to a great deal of that footage. And so they'd have to pay MTv to include it on one of their DVD releases (and that's assuming MTv would even *allow* them to "lease" the footage in the first place. After all, if there's money to be made on a Miz DVD -- why oh why would you let someone other than *yourself* be the one to make it?).

    Second reason?

    Michael Cole's latest "heel schtick" on WWE NXT sums up the company's attitude toward the "non-WWE Universe" quite nicely: until you've made it in the WWE ranks, you haven't made it anywhere. And while a passing mention of your past accomplishments is certainly warranted (especially when the company is trying to bill you as a new star with some tailor-made momentum), so much of your success or failure within the WWE ranks will hinge on what all you can accomplish on a WWE television program or *inside* a WWE ring. For that reason, Daniel Bryan's Ring Of Honor work isn't even mentioned by name. Guys like Monty Brown start right over from square one (and with a new name to boot). And folks like Mike Mizanin can really only pay vauge and passing lip-service to his pre-WWE career.

    Again, WWE is in the business of making "superstars" in their own image and likeness. And so it's not so much *how* they got there, it's more of a case of "what have you done for me lately."



    I love the Dream Street.Did DiBiase innovate it?

    "Innovate"? Well if we're talking pure semantics? Yeah, I guess. He's thrown together two moves (a cobra clutch and a modified Russian leg sweep), and brought it to the mainstream U.S. audience as a credible finisher accordingly. So in that regard -- yeah, he *did* "innovate" the thing.


    WWE Contracts? Meehan, 0. DiBiase, 1.
    DUI Arrests? DiBiase, 1. Meehan, 0.
    Advantage? -->THIS GUY<--


    (Fun fact: Ted DiBiase is just three days younger than yours truly. Learn something new every day :)

    Now did he "INVENT" the move? Chances are -- probably not. While I have no way of knowing just who came up with his particular variation of the move itself -- again, all he's really done is adapted his father's Million Dollar Dream sleeper hold (pretty much your basic cobra clutch) and added the element of a Russian leg sweep. And by so doing, he makes a great little statement as to who he is as a performer: "I'm just like my dad -- only BETTER."

    (BAM!)

    Sometimes, it's the little things that count. The move is simple, and crazy effective.



    Are their any plans to dispute the undisputed titles.I think it would be more beneficial now.

    I think it was Bobby "The Brain" Heenan who once so famously said something along the lines of the following:


    "Ya' know, for an 'UNDISPUTED' championship -- it certainly gets disputed a lot, now doesn't it?"

    But to your point: should the WWE unified tag team championships be split back up into two separate sets of straps?

    At this stage of the game? I think that all signs probably still point to "no." When you look at the active list of regular, full-time tag teams among the WWE ranks, there are currently no more than a half dozen or so (at best). Among them, the only *true* regular tandems are The Hart Dynasty, Cryme Tyme, and The Dude Busters -- none of whom are anywhere near the title picture. Degeneration X seems to be headed for hiatus. Matt Hardy and The Great Khali are just spinning their wheels. And guys like MVP and Mark Henry regularly compete as singles performers, and can't buy a win for trying on the rare occassion that they *do* buddy up.

    In short?

    Six tag teams does not a strong enough case make for two separate sets of title belts. Miz and Big Show are already a mashup of two individual performers who are merely using the tag ranks as a stopgap measure to increase their value for the inevitable return to *singles* competition in the long run. And the assorted lot of jobbers -- sorry, "superstars" -- who otherwise round out WWE's current tag team picture really have no business holding so much as ONE set of gold between them, let alone two.



    What do you think of the House for Robinson trade? The kid's a baller...


    Wait - what?



    do you think david otunga will get a good push upon when he makes it to the main roster since hes linked to jennifer hudson?

    Judging from the debut episode of NXT? I'd say that you're dead-on, and the early available indicators are pretty strong that WWE has high hopes for David Otunga.

    The dude's got a fantastic backstory, a built-in mainstream media appeal, a serious dose of charisma, and a freakish physique to back it all up. And in the "bigger = better" world of Vince McMahon and company, that usually translates to a pretty decent shot at success.


    Google me, suckaz.

    Only problem?

    If that first match was any indicator, the guy has a LONG way to go in the ring before he'll ever be able to make it as a stand-alone superstar. The good news, of course, is that NXT is designed precisely for this reason -- accentuate the promise, while working through the obvious weaknesses. We'll talk more about NXT in "The Developments" section below.



    What would you think if Jeff Hardy made a return at WrestleMania, only to reveal that it was C.M. Punk who convinced him to come back? He then sits in the center of the ring and lets C.M. Punk shave his head and cut a promo about saving Jeff's life.

    What *would* I think?

    "Ok, that's freakin' awesome."

    Seriously -- WrestleMania is supposed to be the capstone of an entire year's worth of storylines. And the current CM Punk character (the pseudo-religious "cult" leader) was pretty much put on the map as a direct result of his holier-than-thou feud that drove Jeff Hardy right out of The WWE Universe. And so again, what *would* I think if WWE could somehow manage to bring the entire storyline full circle and use a WrestleMania payoff to see Hardy ushered back into the ranks of the WWE faithful thanks to the salvation offered him by CM Punk?

    Seriously -- OUTSTANDING. Major kudos to the writers, performers, and promoters if they could manage to actually pull it off -- as that's a genius, long-term approach to booking. And as perfect a way to get Jeff Hardy back into the WWE spotlight as any.


    Wel-come back! Wel-come back!

    All that said -- what *DO* I think of this idea?

    It'll never happen.



    are you a boob man, a butt man, or a leg man?

    Lol.



    Too easy.



    Do you think when the original Undertaker retires that WWE will reuse the gimmick for somebody else? The character is supposed to control the powers of the afterlife and reincarnation would be a convenient excuse to continue the life of the Dead Man.

    Nope.

    The Underfaker experiment of 1994 pretty well demonstrated just how poorly fans would react to anybody besides Mark Calaway hitting the ring as the one and only, ORIGINAL "Dead Man" of the WWE Universe. Though the reincarnation angle certainly makes for a nice twist -- the simple truth of the matter is that The Undertaker (as played by Mark Calaway) simply holds too treasured a place in the hearts of most wrestling fans. Out of respect for the performer who made the character so famous, it's unlikely that audiences would receive anyone else using the same gimmick with anything *near* the same degree of enthusiasm.

    And -- not to speak ill of the dead, or anything -- but WCW's "The Renegade" (a.k.a. Rick Williams) pretty much cemented the idea that while there is indeed a novelty aspect to seeing familiar acts reprised by new performers, certain gimmicks are simply cases of lightning in a bottle, and fans have little inclination to pay their hard-earned money to watch what is really no more than a cheap imitation.


    Are you listening, Black Machismo?




    True story: I'm on Twitter. There, I crack a few jokes, share a few links, and pretty much shoot the breeze on just about every topic under the sun *not* related to professional wrestling. Occasionally, I even come up with something witty to say. Kinda' like this little gem:

    @MeeThinks - "Hellen Mirren? Yeah, I'd hit it." #TruthbombTuesday

    So stop on by and join in the fun, yes? Click here to follow Mee on Twitter

    While you're at it, how about following these 411 tweeps:

    http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
    http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
    http://www.twitter.com/411music
    http://www.twitter.com/411games
    http://www.twitter.com/411mma



    None - in a welcome development, there are no wrestler obituaries, retirements, or contract terminations to report over the past seven days' time.




    None - In a similar note of good news, there are no major injuries to report over the past seven days, which is particularly important for World Wrestling Entertainment as they near the home stretch towards their biggest event of the year.

    Former WWE Champion Sheamus did suffer a concussion at Sunday's Elimination Chamber PPV, and Triple H likewise is said to be feeling the after effects of minor injuries. As a precautionary measure, both men did not appear on this week's Monday Night RAW episode -- but neither man is expected to miss any significant time as a result of these latest developments.

    In addition, WWE narrowly avoided a most costly of mistakes last Sunday night when World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker suffered first and second degree burns as a result of a pyrotechnics malfunction during his entrance to the ring. To The Phenom's credit, he did compete in the match as scheduled (after receiving attention and clearance from ringside medical staff and referees) -- but the good news here is that The Undertaker was not seriously injured -- or worse -- in what is arguably the company's biggest production stunt gone awry since a similar fireworks mishap occured at WrestleMania 24 some two years ago.




    Ric Flair - the sixteen time world heavyweight champion found himself the unlikely center of a maelstrom of controversy this week when his wife was arrested on charges of domestic violence. Flair's wife is not directly associated to the professional wrestling industry, and thus we won't spend a great deal of time discussing this topic as it remains largely a personal issue between the members of the Flehr household.

    That said --

    The fact that The Nature Boy's latest marriage remains as volatile as his last two (or is it three?) does not seem to bode well for the man's retirement. As Roddy Piper famously wrote in his own autobiography (which is a pretty solid -- if depressing -- read), a lot of the best performers have no trouble handling life on the road. But when they come *HOME*, that's a different story altogether -- and for that reason alone, many of wrestling's best usually end up lacing up the boots sooner than later as a result, simply because they can't ever seem to adjust to that quiet, retired life outside of the professional wrestling spotlight.

    MeeThinks?

    In case we needed any more justification, the fact that Ric Flair's home life remains so volatile pretty much all but guarantees us that we'll be seeing him right back in a wrestling ring as a regular performer sooner than later. All reliable sources indicate that "sooner" could come as quickly as March 8, at which time he is expected to pair up alongside AJ Styles to take on the "dream team" of Abyss and fellow WWE Hall of Famer Hulk Hogan (who likewise both has had difficulties stepping away from the wrestling spotlight, and who likewise could use the additional source of income that being an occassional in-ring performer will provide).

    For better or worse, Flair is headed back to the ring. In the United States, no less. And on a show that will air directly opposite the same company who gave him arguably the single greatest sendoff in professional wrestling history -- almost two years later to date, at that.

    (Seriously, go back and watch the WrestleMania 24 Hall of Fame ceremony. And then the HBK/Flair match. And then Monday Night RAW from the following night -- say what you will about Vince McMahon and WWE being "evil," but they most assuredly did right by The Dirtiest Player in the Game).

    But in the end, the fact that Flair is, was, and remains "The Dirtiest Player in the Game" is exactly the issue, here. As we have so often heard him say: "To be 'The Man', you've got to beat THE MAN." And in spite of his best efforts, it remains painfully clear that the man known as Richard Morgan Flehr can't seem to ever quite get the better of "THE MAN" we call "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair.

    The man eats, sleeps, and breathes professional wrestling, and has for the entirety of his adult life. His life *is* "The Game" ('sup, Triple H?). And he has simply spent far too long living the gimmick to know how to walk away from it entirely -- even if it's for his own physical well-being.

    Bottom line: Ric Flair is certainly entitled to make a living for himself. And though as fans of the guy's "best work" we certainly hate to see him subjected to anything less than the level of quality we've come to expect from the man (remember my explanation for the Kayfabesbook absence this week? There ya' go) -- the simple truth to the matter is that repeated failed marriages, interpersonal relationships, and business ventures only seem to further indicate that Ric Flair simply can't make a stable life for himself outside of the professional wrestling industry.

    And thus, as wrestling fans, the sooner we accept the fact that he will likely remain a part of the business in some form or fashion for the remainder of his life? The sooner we'll realize just why, exactly, Ric Flair simply has no other choice than do continue doing what he's always done.




    Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker Rematch Set for WrestleMania 26
    The Showstopper's Career Faces The Dead Man's Streak on The Grandest Stage of Them All

    Last year, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker delivered what many have called one of the single greatest WrestleMania matches of all time (though my personal favorite remains HBK/Flair, and I'd still cast a critical "best" vote in favor of Steamboat/Savage). Fans all across the globe watched in awe as two of wrestling's absolute best gave it everything they had, and the result was nothing short of a WrestleMania classic.

    Not surprisingly, when rumors started swirling that 'Taker and Michaels would be going toe-to-toe yet AGAIN at this year's WrestleMania PPV, most fans were all too ready to cry foul, claiming that these two men could never possibly raise the stakes enough or be expected to top the overall product of last year's clash of the titans.

    But then on Monday night?

    They did just that.

    Last year, Shawn Michaels was nothing more than the latest in a long line of pretenders to the throne -- challengers who, while equally credible in their own right, had the strange combination of skill and audacity to attempt the impossible by squaring off against the single greatest WrestleMania record of all time.

    But this year?

    As The Undertaker said on Monday night -- this year, Shawn must put something on the line as well. If he wins, he'll end the mythic unbeaten streak of one of wrestling's very best. But if he loses? Shawn Michaels will suffer the ultimate defeat, and be forced into retirement as a result.

    As one of my esteemed 411 colleagues (Lansdell, was it?) so elloquently put it: last year's match left us with one outcome that pretty much everybody expected to see. But this year's match suddenly leaves us with not one but TWO outcomes that still seem almost altogether unthinkable.

    "Shawn Michaels RETIRES?"

    "The Undertaker LOSES AT WRESTLEMANIA?"

    Obviously, this latest twist adds a tremendous deal of intrigue into their return bout from the get-go. Instantly, there's a reason to pay all the closer attention (and all the more money), because NEITHER outcome seems feasible given just how important both of these men are to the WWE Universe (and the WWE money making machine). You might even say that going into the bout? There's actually an even BETTER storyline here than there was the last time around.

    Now the only question is whether or not the actual match itself can possibly live up to -- or exceed -- the expectations set by last year's encounter.

    But when it comes right down to it (again, let's call a spade a spade here), last year's match certainly did not go without its fair share of "down time" and rest spots, ya' know.

    And so as a fan of professional wrestling? The Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker career versus streak WrestleMania rematch is a fantastic a storyline as WWE has delivered for The Dead Man's famed Big Dance storyline in YEARS, and it gives us about as great a reason to remain positive about the future of this crazy pseudosport as we've seen in a good, long while.

    Speaking of long-term booking savvy...



    Batista Steals One from John Cena
    Two of WWE's Biggest Stars will Collide at WrestleMania 26

    Ahhh, so THAT's why Batista walked away from his Elimination Chamber qualifying match.

    Obviously, WWE's decision to have Batista lay waste to John Cena just seconds after the poor guy had won himself a championship belt immediately drew its share of detractors. Typically, the comments ranged something along these lines:

  • Wow -- way to pad Cena's title count.

  • Wow -- way to steal any redeeming qualities that a possible Sheamus/Triple H match may once have held.

  • Wow -- way to piss all over the Elimination Chamber gimmick. And...

  • Wow -- way to squander the credibility of the Money in the Bank guaranteed title shot.

    But the thing these critics fail to realize is this: professional wrestling has LONG operated on the model that a heel authority figure can (and often does) make and break the rules at will as (s)he goes along, and thus no champion is ever truly safe from their wrath even if they did happen to win a particular bout "fair and square." These things range from impromptu handicap matches, late-breaking stipulations, and (yes, even) surprise challengers for a heavyweight championship.

    Face it folks -- this stuff has been around since "sports entertainment" began.

    And besides, we all know that the modern era of "title reigns" in a FIXED sport doesn't actually mean much of anything anyway. Heck, some might even argue that the number of title reigns never ONCE mattered in a pre-determined business like professional wrestling -- as belts are often hotshotted to and from performers on a whim simply to keep fans guessing and/or shake up what otherwise might be seen as an obvious business decision here or there.

    (Just ask the winningest champion of all time, Jerry "The King" Lawler).

    You wanna' talk title stats that actually *DO* matter? Throw out just how MANY belts any one particular guy has held, and count instead the actual number of DAYS that the man spent in the role of the company's top dog. Yeah, championships come and go -- but if a champion can prove his staying power over many YEARS worth of performance? Then that is a pretty reliable indicator that the performer is indeed a proven commodity, and a reliable talent worth entrusting with the lion's share of your company's broader appeal.

    (PS: John Cena is currently sixth on the all-time list of reigning champions, behind Bruno Sammartino, Hulk Hogan, Bob Backlund, Triple H, and Pedro Morales. And if you wanna' get *techincal* here? The fact that Cena has managed such a feat in a modern era where title belts change hands so much more frequently actually goes all that much further in demonstrating just how much faith WWE has in the guy in the long run).

    In the end --

    The shocking conclusion of RAW's Elimination Chamber match (and the impromptu title bout that immediately followed) simultaneously laid to rest all lingering questions about recent booking inconsistencies and put WWE on a clear course for WrestleMania 26.

    Batista sold his soul to the devil, and was given a guaranteed title ("shot") as a result. Cena may have worked HARDER, but The Animal clearly worked SMARTER -- and now these two longtime rivals will finally meet in a proper one-on-one, heel vs. babyface showdown over the company's top prize on The Grandest Stage of Them All. It's not only logical... it is GREAT business.

    (And let's be honest here -- had Sheamus rolled into WrestleMania as champion against Triple H, you just *know* the internet fans would be whining and complaining about THAT instead).



    NXT Makes an Impact
    Latest WWE Program Debuts to Solid Ratings

    The big news out of what was once the so-called "Land of Extreme" this week is that ECW is no more, and WWE NXT has officially arrived in its place. The hybrid wrestling/reality program traces the lives and careers of eight young performers as they work alongside WWE pros in an attempt to make a name for themselves among the ranks of professional wrestling's best. And if Tuesday night's program is any indication, fans are actually quite interested to see how this latest WWE experiment turns out in the long run, as the show managed to draw some impressive ratings within key demographics, and score a 1.4. Nielson share overall by night's end.

    MeeThinks?

    The fact that WWE is touting the early success of the NXT program is certainly a good indicator that they have high hopes for the show. And for good reason -- NXT can help new talent develop their skills in front of a live audience (and a television audience, to boot), and it can definitely serve to give fans a reason to get excited about these new stars before they're thrown into the "big pond" of the main roster.

    What is even *MORE* interesting to a guy like Mee, however (I work in public relations, so this kinda' thing is my bread and butter) -- is just how cleverly WWE composed their press release on the matter.

    Like any good public relations juggernaut, WWE knows full well that most news outlets will likely grab their biggest, and most important facts from the tippy-top of the press release and work their way on down only as needed. It's precisely why most news stories are written using what we journalism dorks call the "INVERTED PYRAMID STYLE" construction, which is simply this:

    PUT YOUR BIGGEST AND BADDEST FACTS RIGHT HERE IN THE TOP LINE
    Because people usually get tired of reading a few lines in
    Put your next biggest facts right here in the next line
    Put the medium sized facts in the next few lines
    And keep going and going with small facts
    Until you run out of important stuff
    And you're left with filler
    Like this line, here
    Or this one.
    Etc.

    (See the inverted pyramid?)

    The reason why I bring this otherwise routine writing convention up is this: WWE knows them some marketing 101. They've been doing it for years, and they've gotten it right down to a science. So when you look at just *how*, exactly, they're composing their press releases? You can bet your bottom dollar that these blotters have made their way through DOZENS of company bigwigs before hitting the mainstream airwaves.

    That way, WWE can guarantee that "the biggest stars" are the ones most likely to get mentioned, and "the best" version of the story is the one most likely to be printed.

    So keeping in mind that whole "most important stuff FIRST" writing style, let's take a close look at the order in which the performers on the WWE NXT roster were listed in the company's press release:

    WWE Pro R-Truth with NXT Rookie David "A-List" Otunga
    (Hey look! They lead with the rookie that already has some mainstream exposure!)

    WWE Pro The Miz with NXT Rookie Daniel Bryan
    (Any doubt that this show is being used as a vehicle to get Danielson over? Look no further. He's number 2).

    WWE Pro Matt Hardy with NXT Rookie Justin Gabriel
    (You'll note that the rookies and pros aren't listed in alphabetical order. As such, this means that WWE probably listed them in order of "big hopes" to "small hopes" instead -- and that could mean huge things for Gabriel).

    WWE Pro Chris Jericho with NXT Rookie Wade Barrett
    (Jericho is the company's World Heavyweight Champion. And his name is probably the most "mainstream" familiar on this list -- so WWE has cleverly tucked it halfway through the roster. That way, a casual non-fan who might be scanning the press release can still stumble upon a remotely familiar name right in the thick of things, and be more inclined to believe that the show is stacked top-to-bottom with stars).

    WWE Pro William Regal with NXT Rookie Skip Sheffield
    (Ok, now we're getting to the bottom half. Not coincidentally -- look who didn't make the debut episode).

    WWE Pro CM Punk with NXT Rookie Darren Young
    (Remember who ate a clean loss in his first outing? That combined with this afterthought listing should probably tell you Young's place on the NXT the pecking order.

    WWE Pro Christian with NXT Rookie Heath Slater
    (We're down to the final two pairings. And *WHADDAYAKNOW?!* These guys went over the other two who are listed right below them).

    WWE Pro Carlito with NXT Rookie Michael Tarver
    (surprise, surprise. The Carlito-led tandem that LOST is listed at the very bottom of the heap).

    **(Pretty neat, this whole "reading between the lines" trick, eh? That's what an M.A. in English will get you).**

    And With That, I'm Outta' Here

    With luck, the Kayfabesbooks will be back with a vengeance just in time for next week's FreeThinks. Until then, I've got a pretty monumental weekend planned (more details to follow in due time). But wherever you are and whatever you're doing, enjoy it, yes? Have a great week, and I'll see you back here in seven. And always stay positive.

    - Meehan

    The National Domestic Violence Hotline : 1-800-799-SAFE.


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    Comments (50)

     
    This Mania card is shaping up to be one of the best 'on paper' of all-time!

    Posted By: Marky Mark (Guest)  on February 25, 2010 at 11:06 PM

     
     
    cole spoke the truth tuesday, even going overboard with it just a tad, but he needed to get the point across.

    Posted By: jimmy (Guest)  on February 25, 2010 at 11:07 PM

     
     
    Rumor has it Vince was happy with the first show of NXT, and he felt he made a star in Bryan in just one hour.

    God bless Vince McMahon, never doubt the man; always knows what's best.


    Posted By: Reports (Guest)  on February 25, 2010 at 11:09 PM

     
     
    needs more cowbell

    Posted By: snl (Guest)  on February 25, 2010 at 11:11 PM

     
     
    No Kayfabebook = instant fail

    Posted By: Bob (Guest)  on February 25, 2010 at 11:28 PM

     
     
    mad props to taker. as i was watching the ppv. i didnt even know taker was caught in the flames. he just furiously took off his coat. i didnt know about the fire until i visited 411.

    as for cena/batista, as meehan pointed out. this angle showed long term booking based on batista's actions. dont forget, cena crossed vince macmahon by siding with bret hart. that might explain the impromtu title defense as well.

    otunga and danielson are going to be the break out stars. just like the miz, looking back, it is hard to believe how far otunga has come. when he was "i love new york," he had the personality of wet bread. now he exudes charisma.


    Posted By: rey (Guest)  on February 25, 2010 at 11:31 PM

     
     
    you don't have time to do Kayfabebook but you have time to write 6,000 words of drivel?

    Posted By: sammy (Guest)  on February 25, 2010 at 11:37 PM

     
     
    This mania like 19 will have matches of escalating importance. It will probably be one of top five or ten so far. Seems like it will go 4 four hours though, which could hurt it like 20 i.e. we don't need ShoMiz vs Mark Henry and MVP.

    Posted By: ROH Commish (Guest)  on February 25, 2010 at 11:58 PM

     
     
    I think there's a plan for Young in the NXT competition. He's going to keep losing, and losing, and losing, until he has a "come to Jesus" (rather, "come to Straightedge") moment.

    Posted By: HeartBurnKid (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 12:40 AM

     
     
    This "Dream Street" move of Dibiase's was used by Johnny Swinger for the majority of his mid-late 90's wcw saturday night residency and exclusively in his ECW run. The Cobra Clutch/Legsweep combo will always be known as the "Swing Thing" to me. I've also noticed on occasion Dibiase uses a Cobra Clutch slam, also "perfected" by "the One" Billy Gunn who dubbed the move "the one and only". Booyah!

    Posted By: The Truck (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 01:47 AM

     
     
    Please please please tell me you were joking about the House-Robinson pic....

    You HAVE to know what he was referring to-you're not that far under that rock, are you?


    Posted By: Please (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 02:02 AM

     
     
    I'M AN ASS MAN!!!

    Jim Johnson (I think) is a god at making music for the company-love him!


    Posted By: Genius! (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 02:05 AM

     
     
    what in the name of freddy mercury are you doing?? why havent you the kayfabebook up this week... For shame. But remember to watch Orlando Jordan in the main event of Bound for Glory this year against Bam neely.

    Posted By: Orlando Jordan (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 02:20 AM

     
     
    Kayfabesbook is the only reason I come here.


    Fuck you.


    Posted By: Guest#9857 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 02:40 AM

     
     
    The problem is not that Flair wants to stay in the business. Who does not want to see Flair in a backstage role. The problem is he wont stay out of the ring. He sees himself as a main event name even after bad preformances. Hogan and Flair will wrestle each other. as long as someone pays them. That is a sad truth cause TNA is now main eventing this on there biggest night in company history.

    Posted By: ks (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 05:50 AM

     
     
    Ted DiBiase was not the first person to use the Cobra Clutch/Russian Legsweep finisher. "The Rebel" Dick Slater used it as his finishing move in his WWF debut in the 80's. I also believe Ted DiBiase Sr also used the cobra clutch/legsweep combo once or twice in jobber matches as his "Million Dollar Dream" before settling into the cobra clutch only version.

    Posted By: Way too much time on my hands (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 06:04 AM

     
     
    You see Ted Dibase Sr doing the move on his debut no less

    Posted By: Idlewild (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 06:19 AM

     
     
    LOL @ sammy

    Posted By: Guest#5358 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 06:35 AM

     
     
    Did you just call Mark Henry a spade?

    Posted By: Guest#5265 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 08:07 AM

     
     
    You can't give somebody else the Undertaker gimmick - he's the Undertaker, not Doctor Who!

    And what would happen to the Streak - would the 'new' Undertaker continue it, or would it be retired with Mark Callaway?

    And I have to think Taker wins at Mania 'retiring' HBK, until he comes back in a few months. Remember when the Deadman himself was 'banished from WWE forever' for a total of 3 months in 2008?


    Posted By: Long Live the Streak!! (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 08:24 AM

     
     
    Wow Meehan, you're an empty-headed WWE schilling tool. Seriously, WWE could put on an episode of RAW which featured Chavo vs Chris Masters for 2 hours and Meehan would think it was awesome. This guy is a fucking douche.

    Posted By: Guest#6742 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 08:58 AM

     
     
    "all he's really done is adapted his father's Million Dollar Dream sleeper hold (pretty much your basic cobra clutch) and added the element of a Russian leg sweep."

    He only used this variation for a couple of weeks and now uses "The One" Billy Gunn's variation (cobra into a slam).

    C'mon Ass Man you're dropping the ball.


    Posted By: Guest#1857 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 09:11 AM

     
     
    So WM26 is looking like (and in order I think at the show):

    Punk/Mysterio
    Orton/DiBiase/Rhodes
    MITB
    Edge/Jericho
    Ladies Match
    McMahon/Hart
    HHH/Sheamus
    Cena/Batista
    Taker/Michaels


    Posted By: SpankyHamm (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 09:17 AM

     
     
    anyone sense that HHH will cost HBK the match at Wrestlemania. Then we forget the retirement for the DX Explodes angle.

    I can see over the next few weeks tensions as HBK "obsesses" over the match and how to win. In the match, he gets beat down and keeps coming back, to get beat again, he won't give up and would "die" trying to win.

    HHH comes down to ringside, tells him to quit. HBK says "No", gets beat up some more. HHH tells him to stop before he's too hurt, "No", HBK gets beat up some more.

    Finally HHH finishes him off himself.
    Similar to how he took out Flair after Rick won the IC Title. "For his own good"


    Posted By: Guest#6321 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 09:48 AM

     
     
    Just thought I'd point out something about the Dream Street move. Ted Jr. didn't invent it and he certainly wasn't the first to use it. He actually got it from his dad, who used it in Japan in the 80s or 90s. Look up TheSuicidalDragon's Top Ten Moves of Ted Dibiase on YouTube for proof.

    Posted By: bluedragonx (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 09:58 AM

     
     
    MEEHAN: BRING BACK KAYFABESBOOK, ALL IN FAVOR SAY I!

    Posted By: Justin (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 10:29 AM

     
     
    The Undertaker/ Shawn Michaels match is going to end in a time limit draw.

    Posted By: WCW Executive (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 10:41 AM

     
     
    "Sorry, Mark -- you're either hurt or you're not, man. And a spade's a spade."

    Racist.


    Posted By: Guest#2375 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 10:42 AM

     
     
    Feel the wrath of my flames!!! I forgot, what am I supposed to be flaming you for?

    Posted By: anonymous (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 10:42 AM

     
     
    As long as he is with Punk, Darren Young has plenty of potential to at least be in the midcard for a long time

    Posted By: SmartShooter (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 10:51 AM

     
     
    What do you mean spade"?

    Posted By: Guest#1404 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 11:35 AM

     
     
    What do YOU mean "spade"?

    Posted By: Guest#3228 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 11:36 AM

     
     
    I didn't think about it at the time but that's a pretty accurate rundown on the NXT debuts, although I might put Tarver over Slater since the latter was freaking terrible and screamed jobber.

    Posted By: Guest#3150 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 12:13 PM

     
     
    I don't want to seem to confident, but there is no way in hell that the Undertaker is losing his streak to HBk. If he loses his streak, he may as well retire, and there is no way that the Undertaker retires without having a Mania showdown with Cena. Also his future showdown with Cena will not be as interesting if his streak is not intact. That match needs to be the Hogan-Andre match of this generation.

    Posted By: guest (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 12:24 PM

     
     
    I love and respect UT and now even more respect after the ppv incident,glad he wasn't hurt worse,but.....
    I believe Owen falling to his death was the biggest and worst production stunt gone awry in the WW(F)E.


    Posted By: Insane Snake (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 12:31 PM

     
     
    HBK's losing to the Deadman. Simply for the reason that, with Flair gone to TNA, the WWE can't talk about the HBK/Flair retirement match without promoting another company's guy. So they have Taker retire HBK, and they get to talk about how careers are made - and ended - at Wrestlemania. And whoever fights Taker next year has to beat the guy who retired HBK...

    Posted By: Peers (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 12:42 PM

     
     
    otunga and danielson are going to be the break out stars. just like the miz, looking back, it is hard to believe how far otunga has come. when he was "i love new york," he had the personality of wet bread. now he exudes charisma.

    Posted By: rey (Guest) on February 25, 2010 at 11:31 PM

    I believe the proper phrasing is 'he is now oozing machizmo'


    Posted By: Matthew M (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 02:09 PM

     
     
    I don't like the idea of the streak vs. career at Mania. Neither wrestler has anything to gain from it. Aren't those stipulations best used to get younger talent over? I know it all adds to the intensity of the rivalry, but it strikes me as a waste.

    Posted By: MaxGrouper (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 02:22 PM

     
     
    calling it now

    Taker vs. Michaels ends in a double countout, double DQ, or some other means to call the match a tie.


    Posted By: .... (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 03:52 PM

     
     
    Billy Gunn is nothing without Chuck Palumbo.

    Maria, Hurricane, and Burchill gone. NXT debuts, can't wait for next week's Kayfabebook. You should add an "unlike" button.


    Posted By: Save.Us_Y2J (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 04:49 PM

     
     
    I respectfully disagree with your take that Mark Henry is the "Tell of the Week." When the adrenaline gets pumping, injuries/pain can be blocked from your head. Just the other day, my arm and wrist were sore from "date night" with myself and I could not lift a thing with it. However, when Habu said that the Mountain Dew Slurpee machine was running low, I knew I couldn't let all of Darth's little 7-11maniacs down so I hulked up and lifted the slurpee mix and poured it in the machine. Aunt May had it backwards, it should be "with great responsibility comes great power, BROTHER."

    BTW, LOVE the fu-manchu.


    Posted By: Darth Mortis (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 06:41 PM

     
     
    I like your column, Meehan - with or without kayfabesbook.

    Posted By: Blake Beverly (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 07:14 PM

     
     
    " Seems like it will go 4 four hours though, which could hurt it like 20 i.e. we don't need ShoMiz vs Mark Henry and MVP.

    Posted By: ROH Commish (Guest) on February 25, 2010 at 11:58 PM"

    You're right we don't need a TAG TEAM Title Match and surely NOT An IC One too I guess ?

    FAIL !


    Posted By: Guest#5147 (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 07:20 PM

     
     
    For people who don't get it , Taker will either pin or submit Michaels March 28 to go 18-0 and keeping his perfect mania record forever.

    Does that mean HBK retire for real ?

    In two words :

    HELL NO

    Did Macho Man Savage "retired" for good after his career ending loss to Warrior at Mania VII ?

    OOOH NOOOOO !

    That will be the EXACT Same for Mr Hickenbottom.

    The whole "career is over" is a way to give the man some well earned time off right after Mania.

    Expect HBK to come back around SummerSlam time as usual.

    RIP HBK

    18-0


    Posted By: Mr Streak (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 07:24 PM

     
     
    Lol at all the people complaining about the lack of Kayfabebook this week. Lets see you losers write a column this good.

    Great column this week. Keep up the good work.


    Posted By: Yup. (Guest)  on February 26, 2010 at 09:20 PM

     
     
    Someone call the The National Domestic Violence Hotline : 1-800-799-SAFE.

    Because I'm going to to indent the pavement with fragmants off John Meehan's skull.


    Posted By: Fuck you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Guest)  on February 27, 2010 at 09:24 AM

     
     
    Without kayfabesbook this column sucks.

    Posted By: trey lee (Guest)  on February 27, 2010 at 01:15 PM

     
     
    Personally I don't care much for CM Punk's version of Raven's Flock. Raven's was better. Edgier. Punk's is just dull.

    Posted By: guest (Guest)  on February 27, 2010 at 03:13 PM

     
     
    I actually like this column but I bet if people had to choose between this column without Kayfabesbook and Kayfabesbook w/o the column, like 90% of folks would take Kayfabesbook. I would.

    Posted By: yo MTV raps (Guest)  on February 27, 2010 at 09:00 PM

     
     
    Okay I'm fucking fed up now. THANK GOD for not including that piece of shit called Gayfabesbook or whatever. I'm so sick of people whining about that shit.

    It's not funny. I hate it. If you think that shit is funny you are really fucking retarded.

    Thank god for not including Gayfailsbook. But please, just scrap it all together. It fucking sucks and it's not funny.


    Posted By: cool dr. money (Guest)  on February 28, 2010 at 05:45 PM

     


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