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Wrestling’s 4R’s Friday Edition 3.19.10: Raw, Impact and NXT Reviewed!
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By: Jeremy Thomas
Raw 03.15.10:
QUICK RESULTS:
The Big Show vs. John Cena [* ½]
Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne [¼*]
Maryse d. Triple K [½*]
Shawn Michaels d. Chris Jericho by Countout [***]
Triple H d. Randy Orton by DQ [** ¼]
Batista d. Kofi Kingston [* ½]
GIVE HIM A HELL YEAH: Raw kicked off with a throwback many have been waiting for…with the sound of glass shattering. Stone Cold Steve Austin was our guest host of course, and he came down to a monster pop. I will admit, I don’t always see the Attitude Era with the rose-colored glasses that some do, but it was great to see Austin back in front of WWE cameras. I don’t miss the “WHAT?” that will be enjoying a major comeback for the next several weeks, though. Austin got a mic and we immediately got a temporary end of the PG era, as “whoop-ass,” “hell yeah” and Steveweisers made their re-emergence. Austin talked about the importance of WrestleMania and specifically ‘Mania XIII, where he did battle with Bret Hart. Austin put Bret over big-time and talked about how he ended up unconscious in a pool of blood that ‘Mania, and how he was one of the best. That brought him over to Vince McMahon, and Austin even put Vince over by talking about him as one of the meanest, nastiest cutthroat individuals he’d ever been in the ring with. Sadly, PG quickly returned as Austin threatened to break his foot off in Vince’s ____.
Austin then shot off his catch-phrase…and out came Cena. The crowd went nuts, and an awesome moment occurred there. Cena was doing his thing and Austin hunched down a bit, as if he was prepping for the Stunner. Seriously, how much would the IWC have marked if Austin stunned Cena? And no one would have booed Austin one little bit, or thought Cena had lost a shred of credibility. But they had other things to do there, and so they went right into the match. But that was a nice moment that sold Austin’s wild card nature. Remember, the man was a face for most of his run at the top, but he never had a problem beating on anyone, and that was a nice way to put it into people’s minds just before his contract overseeing later in the night with Vince and Bret. Great start to the show.
SHAWN MICHAELS vs. CHRIS JERICHO: Backstage, our ass-kicking, beer-drinking guest host was chilling in his memorabilia-filled room when in walked Shawn Michaels. He said he wasn’t going to waste Steve’s time, he wanted to know if Austin thought he could beat Taker. Austin’s response was typically Stone Cold-ian and to the point. “Hell yeah, I think you could. But I don’t think you’re going to.” Shawn gave Austin a little respect for giving it to him straight, then brought up how no one thought he would come back after losing to Austin at ‘Mania XIV, but he did. He said he was going to prove what he could do tonight against Jericho, and that brought…well, Jericho. Chris mocked Shawn a little bit and then thanked Austin for the match. Shawn said he wasn’t just going to beat him, he was going to destroy him to send a message to the Dead Man. Good stuff from both of them there, and Y2J trying to kiss Austin’s ass was classic Jericho.
A little bit later we had the match, which some of you may note was the rematch of one of my Top 5 WrestleMania Non-Main Events. Yes, I’m not above cheap-plugging my fellow writers…check it out! Anyway, the point is, I was really looking forward to this because not only was it a rematch of that match, it was of course a rematch of their pretty damned epic feud from a couple years ago. Michaels started off on fire, with his desire to send a message to the Dead Man going strong, but Jericho was his usual wily self and took control with a little dodge before Shawn came right back. Vintage Cole earns about half a point from me for mentioning how Shawn helped Jericho get the World Heavyweight Title at the Chamber. These guys have obviously always worked well together and this was no different, as they put on a rock-solid TV match against each other. It was well-paced and very technically proficient, with both men doing a good job of keeping the crowd going and never feeling like they were just going through the motions. The ending was perhaps a disappointment, but it kept Shawn strong while not making the champion lose any momentum. After the match Edge came down and attacked Jericho to get payback for last week, and hit a spear to pop the crowd huge. It was a good match, and the ending only knocks it down a little.
HALL OF FAME INDUCTION: GEORGOUS GEORGE: Now we’re getting into the talent that 90% of your fan base has absolutely no knowledge of. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to see George enter the Hall of Fame because his style and attitude shaped what professional wrestling became. Kudos to the WWE for giving him an induction, and I will give them credit for giving him the full-on induction video treatment instead of just mentioning it as an aside. One has to wonder about how many people care though, considering that almost no one will have any recognition of even the names that were in the video talking. As a fan of wrestling history I’m marking out; thinking like the PG fan base the ‘E books toward, I would probably say “Hey, who’s that guy?”
THE CONTRACT SIGNING: Our Main Event segment had the contract signing between Bret and Vince, with Austin officiating. Bret came down first with his crutch and limped his way into the ring while the crowd popped nicely for him. Up next was the Chairman, and you know, you just have to love his gleeful mocking of Bret’s injury with a swaggering limp to the ring. The two men stared off with hatred in their eyes before Austin came on down to the ring. He gave Vince a smirk and then ordered him to sit. Stone Cold then brought up how he was inducted into the Hall of Fame last year and was very proud of it, and this year Stu Hart was supposed to go in. Austin put Vince right in his place with a single set of words, then gave Stu his props and announced he was entering the WWE Hall of Fame. Vince then played it off nicely, saying that it would show the Harts to be dysfunctional derelicts, except Bret who was a dysfunctional handicapped derelict. Bret then said it had to be a No Holds Barred match, and Vince was all “Hell, yeah.” He said it was an example of Bret screwing Bret once again, and then they signed the contract. Uh, why would the No Holds Barred stipulation be a surprise if it’s in the contract? But I digress. This was good stuff to open up the segment…and then we got to the surprise.
Or, for some of you guys, the non-surprise. I will give you the commenters who called this one credit. You guys called that Bret and Cena were in on it, and I said it was possible and I would mark for it, but it was unlikely. That is of course exactly what they did, and I did in fact mark for it. They played it off wonderfully, with Vince turning around to see the cast lying on the table. Bret then unveiled his master plan, and then told Vince he was 100% and that Vince couldn’t back out of the match. Finally, Vince screwed Vince. It ended with Bret getting one over on Vince and the crowd popping huge, which was exactly the way this show needed to end.
JOHN CENA vs. THE BIG SHOW: This was the first WrestleMania Rewind match, and was a rematch from ‘Mania XX where Cena beat Show for the United States Title. Honestly, the opening seemed a little awkward as Cena ducked a sloth-slow punch and then they slugged it out a bit before struggling through a power bomb. Frankly, they seemed to be moving at about half-speed, though the match is at least helped some by the way the crowd stayed into it. Cena picked up a little momentum and then hit the top-rope Rocker Dropper, and was ready to put Show away before Big Dave came down. That caused him to be distracted enough for Show to hit a choke slam for a two-fall, and then after a little finagling the KO Punch for the three-count. As a match, this was very iffy. The booking was all right because it showed how much the Manimal was affecting Cena mentally, but I was expecting more from these guys.
TRIPLE H vs. RANDY ORTON: The rematch of the least-enjoyable matches given a Rewind here, this match was preceded by the announcement that Orton would be fighting Cody and Ted in a Triple Threat match. We then went backstage where Josh Matthews asked him about the match and Orton said it wouldn’t affect his focus one bit. Orton then said that he at least respected the Game, as much as he didn’t like him. He didn’t respect Ted or Cody though, and said without him they’re absolutely nothing. Way to put your opponents over, Randy. Why should we care about that match again?
Whatever the problems these two had during their feud last year, the crowd was rearing to see the newly-face Orton take on ‘H, and to be honest these guys put on a perfectly acceptable wrestling match. It wasn’t a five-star classic but it worked for what it needed to be and they sold that while these guys still don’t like each other at all, they at least have some level of respect for each other. I’d rather they do that than “Orton’s semi-face now, so all is forgiven and forgotten” a la Morrison and Punk when they were both face. If anything, I would have liked to see just a little more respect from them as it would have told a more distinctive story when compared to the matches of their feud. But it worked perfectly as a match until the end, when we had not one but two interruptions. Legacy came down and attacked the Game, taking him out so they could beat on Orton; that gave the H-Man an excuse to make the save for a guy he dislikes. And that, in turn, let Sheamus run in for the attack on Hunter. This was an example of overbooking in a bad way and while it sold the heat of the feuds some, it didn’t put Sheamus or Priceless over any more significantly as threats to their respective opponents. Good try, but it lost something in translation.
SHEAMUS vs. EVAN BOURNE: Why the hell does Evan Bourne keep taking on Sheamus? Does the ‘E forget that they have other job squadders kicking around, or do they just think that we’ll have ANY interest in this match considering Sheamus has killed Bourne far too many times. Sheamus went to get on the mic, but it was just a fake-out to attack Bourne. The squash then followed, as Sheamus put Bourne down in no less than three moves. He then got on the mic and talked about growing up in Ireland and being fascinated by the WWE, and particularly the Game. He admired ‘H’s selfishness, aggression, and willingness to screw anyone over. It was at this point, when Sheamus was talking about “growing up” and admiring the H-Man, that I had to double-take a little. Sheamus is 32, one year younger than I am. When I was “growing up,” the Game wasn’t even in the WWE yet. Hunter became part of D-X in ’97 and Sheamus was 19. Sure, he was still young, and maybe I’m the only guy who did the continuity check because I’m the same age as Sheamus, but I think of the mid-teens as the outer edge of “growing up.” At any rate, ‘H wasn’t beating Stone Cold, the Rock, the Dead Man, HBK and especially not John Cena until ’98, ’99. Guess he didn’t take a lot of math during all that post-18 growing up he did. The reason for this feud is exactly what we’ve been talking about, and there was nothing new here other than Sheamus having a shitey memory. “The Celtic Warrior will take your throne” was a nice line, but otherwise this whole thing fell flat.
TRIPLE K vs. MARYSE: This Butterfly Division match was another step in the “Maryse tries to carry someone who can’t be carried” show. Kelly Cubed looked damn hot, I’ll give her that…but she’s no Maryse. The two did a little pose-off where Triple K went back to her Extreme Expose “I’m a stripper” days for a second, which allowed the Butterfly Champion to go on the attack. Kelly fought back, they did the Kelly Kelly Kelly catch-the-foot back flip deal for the first time in forever (it still makes me cringe, by the way) and then it went to hair-pulling. Kelly hit what was…hell, I can’t tell. It was either a badly-modified Playmaker or the lowest elevation on a Rocker Dropper of all-time. A few moments later, Maryse hit the French Kiss for the pinfall. As a match, this was just…not very good. Kelly controlled too much of it and she’s not capable of doing so. Let her learn to bump better, maybe then she can have more offense. After that Maryse continued the assault, Gail and Kim made the save and Team Lay-Cool came down to even the odds. Yes, that’s a cross-brand match I’m dying to see. At least the gimmicks for Lay-Cool and Maryse are similar…Maryse just does it better. Vickie then came down to look on approvingly. This was not put together well and I didn’t much like it.
BATISTA vs. KOFI KINGSTON: This was stemming from Kofi’s run to Cena’s defense last week in the main event, and was basically a way to get Dave over as a monster. Frankly, I don’t see the need since he’s been getting the better of Cena week in and week out. But if they want to get him over, I’d rather they do it against someone who can take a loss; Kofi’s been completely lost as of late and it’s hurt his credibility quite a ways. This pretty much did the same, as Big Dave basically flattened Kofi and beat him with nary breaking a sweat. There was a brief comeback from Kofi, but it didn’t last long and soon enough it was the Manimal hitting the Batista Bomb for the pin. This was nothing but a squash match and it made Kofi look like a chump without doing much to build the Cena/Dave feud, so I was not a fan.
DID YOU KNOW?: Nope. And, as always, I don’t care.
| The 411
This show was carried by one match with an iffy ending, one match with a bad ending, the guest host and the main event segment. On most shows this would be enough, but in this case I found the overall show adding up to less than the sum of its parts. What I didn’t like was just too glaring and it seemed like they didn’t do much to build to ‘Mania outside of the main event and a few run-ins. In any other month this might get a pass…during the build to ‘Mania, I expect more and thus this gets a Not-So-Good rating. SHOW RATING: 5.5 |
From perez:
jericho really needed to look strong over edge for a change and he did so im happy with the ending
I agree, and I actually wish they could have had it continue on Raw but they went back to Edge getting his revenge. Hopefully they’ll give Jericho one up again on SmackDown so this feud starts to look a little more even, but they’re on the right path now at least.
From Guest#3443:
How to have a great promo:
1. Give Punk a microphone.
2. Put him in the ring with a face.
3. Give him 10 minutes.
4. Profit.
Seriously Punk is so damn over at this point he doesn’t even need to talk. His mere presence gets him heat. And to think WWE was wasting him as a babyface a few years ago…
From Kyle:
The promo by Punk is made of pure win. That was one of the best and creepiest promos i have ever seen. Punk is so awesome right now.
From jayzhoughton:
I loved the subtle See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil reference that Punk got into his promo saying that Aliyah could cover her eyes, Domonic cover his ears and his wife her mouth!! Just an awesome promo all round!!
From midcard madness:
Having watched this promo then gone to a houseshow this weekend and fearing a riot was going to break out when Punk came out, can only give me hope that he will get a title run sometime in the next year. I don’t know how much Serena enjoys being hit in the head with plastic cups and such but she will be heela over when she finally wrestles.
Tiffany is rather over also live which is good, I’d rather she her throwing T-shirts and have a small run over Maria any day.
From jbardo:
Punk’s promo was fantastic, he’s on his way to having another excellent year.
From MPMoore:
Punk’s promo was, by far, the best he has done and one of the top promos of all time. Period. I especially loved the “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” reference he gave by allowing Aaliyah to close her eyes, Dominic to plug his ears, and Angie to cuff her mouth.
He has undoubtedly reached the heel-of-epic-proportions status!
From jd:
i marked out like a 8 year old kid when punk got on his knees and said, “let me get on your level, rey.”
From Shawn Michaels:
I know the word gets tossed around a lot on the internet, but Punk was epic as a heel in that promo with with Rey & Family on Smackdown. Also, the crowd chanting happy birthday to Rey’s daughter actually made me proud of my fellow wrestling fans.
Good SmackDown! review, Jeremy.
Thanks guys. I absolutely agree, this was an all-time classic promo and was one of Punk’s best that I’ve ever seen from him. I think that’s what is significant about it is that he’s hitting the same level of promos he used to hit in the indies, but within the WWE PG style. If I had to go with a #1 heel in wrestling right now–the very question I posed to my Fact or Fiction panelists this week–I would have to give Punk the edge.
From Justin Weinblatt:
Punk’s promo should not have been in the right section……..
Instead you should have created a new section above right.
If any segment deserved it that would be it.
From Fed up:
ughgh really Thomas take your CM Punk shirt off before you recap smackdown in the future.
People bitch and moan about cenas limited moveset and stale act.
That’s what punk is!!!!
He can cut a great promo but He has 7 moves tops and has been this righteous douche for 6 months with practically NO payoff. It’s easy to tell who likes ROH on this site because Punk can do no wrong. It’s like Even Bore(ne). Waste of TV time and can’t talk for shit yet you all bitch when he’s not going over or even on a show!!
First off, comparing CM Punk to Evan Bourne is like comparing Chris Jericho and Billy Kidman (no offense to Kidman or Bourne). Now that we have that out of the way, we need to make introduction. Hello Fed, I’m Jeremy Thomas. You seem to have me confused with the Hive-Mind of the Internet Wrestling Community, which as we all know is made from the combined consciousnesses of Lance Storm, Vince Russo, Matt Hardy, the Ultimate Warrior and Paul Heyman. (Yes, that does mean that the IWC is alternately self-loathing, insane, trollish, screwed over, underrated and often rather boring. And yes, I realize I am part of that IWC. You decide which of those qualities I am.) Contrary to your poor attempt at a straw man argument, I have never bitched and moaned about John Cena’s limited move set. Nor do I bitch when Punk isn’t winning or on a show. I don’t bitch when Bourne isn’t going over or on a show either, which seems to be what you were implying with your poorly-worded comparison. Also, I do not have a CM Punk shirt; the only wrestling shirts I have are the nWo Wolfpac, a couple HBK shirts, one Orton one, ECW One Night Stand and one of the Royal Rumbles. But I digress. If you don’t like Punk, that’s your opinion; it doesn’t make our opinion or yours wrong. But please, continue to use multiple exclamation marks in your comments. It denotes true critical thinking at its finest. Thanks for reading!
From deadpoetic:
Hidden Highlight from Stryker during Gallows Vs. Kane = It’s almost as if we are seeing Kane vs. bizarro Kane. Hidden Highlight because Gallows was the fake Kane… So no it wasn’t their first meeting.
From Wel….:
Kane vs. Luke isn’t a ‘first time’ matchup, but only if you count the infamous Kane vs Fake Kane match.
Plus Festus vs. Taker was pretty good, now that I’m thinking about him….
From Jlevysan:
kane has faced festus. festus was “fake kane” from that awful 2006 storyline
Good call, guys…I missed that one, and I give you guys credit for noticing.
From The Silver Ninja:
C’mon Larry, you were all over the place this week. You rated SD and ROH too high but Superstars too low. Its like you are 3 different people. Get it together man.
Yeah, seriously Larry. What the hell?
From Guest#5023:
I disagree with you Jeremy. To me the undertaker segment made perfect sense. He was sending a message to Shawn Michaels.
Do you think that Christian is ready to be a world champion in the WWE yet? Because he is my favorite to win it. Even though it would like to see Kane get his much deserved Championship.
I also love Drew’s entrance music. His and Orton’s are the best one.
Honestly? Much as it pains me to say it…no, Christian isn’t ready, because he hasn’t been booked strongly on one of the Big Two brands yet. Once he does, then he will be ready…but right now, the casual fan would not accept him as a World Champion. As for the Taker thing, I know that was what they were going for, but it didn’t play out that well to me. I just think they could have done it better another way, though I’m glad they followed up with Shawn on Monday with it.
From the danger stranger:
lol. Poor Chyna. “Angie kinda looks like Chyna…no offense intended”
Nothing against Chyna, but she is not considered to be hot by most of the wrestling community. That’s all I was sayin’.
By: Chad Nevett
iMpact! 03.15.10:
QUICK RESULTS
The Nasty Boys & Jimmy Hart defeated Team 3D (with Brother Runt) [-***]
Kurt Angle & the Pope defeated Mr. Anderson & Desmond Wolfe [**]
Angelina Love defeated Daffney via disqualification [1/4*]
Beer Money, Inc. defeated Hernandez in a handicap match [*1/2]
Scott Hall defeated Kevin Nash in ‘win $25,000 if you can last five minutes’ match [-* Wait, was that even am actual match? Because they didn’t explain what was going on. I mean, I thought it was a match, but, then, it wasn’t. Whatever, it sucked.] Jeff Hardy defeated AJ Styles [**]
KURT ANGLE & THE POPE vs. MR. ANDERSON & DESMOND WOLFE: This looked like it could be a decent match, but it was cut a little short. However, it still gave some decent in-ring action and told a good story. Angle kicked things off with Wolfe because the Pope is nursing that ankle injury and Anderson is an asshole. Early on in the match, Wolfe wanted a tag, but Anderson begged it off, showing that Anderson is such a heel that he’s a dick to other heels. It wasn’t until Wolfe gained the upper hand that Anderson would accept the tag and, from there, it was the two of them punishing Angle in their half of the ring. Eventually, Angle got in a spot of offense and managed to tag in the Pope who was full of energy, hopping around to sell his injury. His selling of the injury was really good and managed to make me like the Pope more. Angle hit a couple of Angle Slams and the Pope got the roll-up win. After the match, the Pope and Wolfe continued to brawl, heading for the back, while Anderson nailed the Mic Check on Angle. With Angle out, Anderson got the dog tags and cut Angle open again before saying that that was just a small taste of what he’d get at Destination X and beating him with the mic. Great segment.
BEER MONEY, INC. vs. HERNANDEZ: For the second week in a row, Beer Money participated in a handicap match and this one went a lot smoother than last week’s. Beginning with Eric Bischoff getting pissed off when Jeff Jarrett and Hernandez decided to challenge Beer Money, the match had Hernandez standing alone against the tag team with Jarrett as the referee and under orders to call it down the middle or be fired. One of the best parts of the match was Matt Morgan coming out and joining the commentary team, raising some very good points about Hernandez choosing to team with Jarrett over him and how that shows a lack of commitment to their role as tag team champs. Morgan was ready to go out and wrestle, but his partner stuck his nose in someone else’s business, so any beating he gets in the ring is on him, not the team. Good way to further the split of the duo and explain why Morgan would choose not to interfere. The in-ring action was what you’d expect: Beer Money dominating until Hernandez made a bit of a comeback, but couldn’t overcome the numbers. I thought the double-suplex was taking the offense too far and came close to crossing that line into making Beer Money look not as dominant as they should. After their win, they continued to beat down Hernandez, but Jarrett got involved. I’m sure Bischoff won’t be happy come Monday, but this was a solid segment overall. I’m still impressed with Morgan’s skill on commentary. He’s really coming along on the mic.
X-DIVISION GONE WILD: I was debating putting this here or in puRgatoRy, but I don’t think they could have used the X-Division guys and promoted all three matches any other way. Or, at least, done so effectively. First, we got a Shannon Moore promo backstage that was pretty mediocre as he said he’s representing the ‘tattooed, brood, and screwed,’ told Doug Williams to Google ‘dilligaf,’ and that he should be prepared for glam rock. All in a weird southern accent that made the whole thing unintentionally comical.
In the ring, the Ultimate X was set up and the Motor City Machine Guns were in the ring. Chris Sabin began things by talking about how Generation Me haven’t proven themselves and haven’t done anything in TNA, while the Guns have. He asks who have they even beat, which was an obvious invitation for Generation Me to come out and remind them that they beat the Guns in their debut match on TNA. Alex Shelley took the mic and said that they were lucky, and began a series of comparisons like Generation Me are the Atari to the Guns’ Xbox. This devolved into a fight, which brought down Brian Kendrick, then Amazing Red, then Daniels, then Kazarian. It was a bit of a clusterfuck with everyone brawling and guys hitting some high spots including the use of a ladder with the four faces left celebrating on the ladder. While not a match, this promoted the matches at Destination X well. I’m not sure what matches they could have booked that would have done this as effectively.
AJ STYLES HATES ABYSS BECAUSE ABYSS LOVES MAGIC RINGS & RIC FLAIR HATES JEFF HARDY BECAUSE JEFF HARDY LOVES GETTING HIGH: The show began with AJ Styles and Ric Flair coming out and doing their usual dual promos where AJ addresses the larger story, while Flair sets up what will happen in this show. It’s not a bad way to structure things as both the ‘long’ term and short term are dealt with. AJ’s promo was directed at Abyss with whom he has a title match at Destination X. The whole promo was basically a burial of the magic ring angle, which suits me just fine, because it is ridiculous and to not have the heel call it out as such would look weird. AJ’s promo skills are still a little iffy as he continues to ape Flair’s style, but he looks like a dick and I guess that’s okay since he’s a heel. Flair’s promo was directed at Jeff Hardy and his interference last week. I really like the recent Flair promos where he gets so angry and flustered that he can barely speak. He’s become a crazy old man, which is a great character for him to play. He even busted himself open again from the ugly as hell scars on his head. He called out Hardy and Hardy obliged, wearing his crappy make-up and saying very little, thankfully. Flair brought up Hardy’s drug stuff in a somewhat questionable move considering his trial started this week and AJ said Hardy has done nothing, and challenged him to a match. This is the AJ I like: the ballsy, challenge anyone champ, convinced that no one can beat him. Hardy responded by saying the match would be a breeze and then went on to talk about creatures of the night or some shit. Overall, this wasn’t bad, but there also wasn’t anything that stood out as memorable. It did the job of reminding us that it’s AJ/Abyss on Sunday and setting up the main event of the night.
ANGELINA LOVE CHALLENGES A MEMBER OF THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND GETS A SURPRISE: After the Team 3D/Nasty Boys match, Angelina Love challenged any member of the Beautiful People to a match, saying that she’d go through them one at a time if she has to. Solid idea and we got a few seconds of the Beautiful People debating who would fight Love, teasing us with Lacey von Erich being the one to step up, but, thankfully, what we got was a temporary one-day-only member the group: Daffney. A nice swerve that lead to a nothing garbage match as Daffney beat down Love before getting out a tool box. Watching Daffney go through the items in the box was surprisingly entertaining, but it was a typical squash when the Beautiful People got involved and it was four-on-one until Tara came to Love’s rescue. Just another variation on the same two Knockouts stories we’ve seen for the past month. Not bad or anything, just nothing new.
HOGAN AND RVD GET REVENGE ON STING: Backstage, Hogan and Bischoff had a little run-in where Bischoff was miffed by Hogan not running the Hardy and Rob Van Dam stuff from last week by him. Hogan shrugged it off and said don’t worry, but the cracks in that relationship continue. Later, Hogan came out, told everyone that play time is over, and called Sting out over his action last week. This resulted in a long, plodding, slow walk as Sting walked down to the ring from the rafters. It didn’t build anticipation or make Sting seem cool, it was just boring, dead air. When he finally made it to the ground, RVD attacked him from behind and proceeded to kick his ass all over the Impact Zone while Hogan preened in the ring and cheered him on. These are the faces, by the way. RVD didn’t look impressive or good, he just looked like a punk acting on the orders of Hogan. Eventually, RVD got Sting’s baseball bat, tossed it to Hogan, and pushed Sting into the ring, but Bischoff came down and stopped Hogan, reminding him that he promised not to get involved in the ring and that he’s not here to wrestle, he’s here to run things. Hogan sold the look of confusion/guilt well, but the story does nothing for me. Hogan should be in the background of stories, putting other guys at the forefront, and that isn’t the case here. A will he/won’t he story surrounding his in-ring activity will be bad, because no one wants to see him back in the ring. The story worked better last year with Chris Jericho and Ric Flair, because everyone knew Flair could still go if need be. Hogan can’t.
KEVIN NASH vs. SCOTT HALL… I THINK…?: Early in the show, JB was with Scott Hall and Sean Waltman to ask them about their match on Sunday and Hall had the oh-so-witty ‘Wölf Pac’ written in magic marker on his sweatshirt. It was so pathetic that it may be the only thing I liked about this angle on Monday. Kevin Nash (with Eric Young), thankfully, interrupted, challenging Hall to a match with the stipulation that all Hall had to do was last five minutes in the ring and he’d get $25,000 of Nash’s money. Now, I, like most of you, I presume, expected this to be an actual match with a five-minute time limit and no special rules. This wasn’t the case as the match got underway with some slow action by both men, proving that Sunday’s match is going to be carried by Young and Waltman (or should be). Then, Waltman hit the ring, attacked Nash, and the ref just shrugged, letting things continue as Hall and Waltman double-teamed Nash, handcuffing him in the corner. Young hit the ring and put up a good fight, but was overpowered by the two opponents. Things ended with Hall and Waltman walking away, money in their hands. I actually thought that it would turn out that Hall was paying the ref off and, at the end, he’d hand the ref one of the bundles of bills, marginally improving the awfulness we just witnessed, but, no. No, this was just a match that wasn’t match with vague rules never spelled out that kind of changed halfway through to suit whatever story they wanted to tell, no explanation. They swerved us on the type of match we were watching. There’s almost something impressive in taking the weekly swerves to that level, but this was just really bad.
AJ STYLES vs. JEFF HARDY: This had the potential to be a good match, but a couple of things hurt it right off. Abyss being added the special guest enforcer telegraphed the screwy finish. Jeff Hardy not having wrestled in a while slowed things down a little, but he looked in good ring shape for the most part. AJ continued to wrestle in the heel style, which he’s still not great at. Without his flashy offense, Styles is merely an okay wrestler. You don’t necessarily buy him as champ since he looks like a midcarder. He broke out the odd flashy move like the Pele, but that just made the crowd want to cheer him. This match showed why Styles as a heel doesn’t work: he’s either mediocre and boring, or no one buys him as a heel. He dominated Hardy for a good chunk of the match, but Hardy held his own and put up a good fight, which is all that he needed to do. The screwy finish came when Styles went for a chair after the ref got knocked down and Abyss stopped him, distracting him, so, when he got back in the ring, Hardy hit the Twist of Fate and the Swanton Bomb and won when Abyss came in and did the count. Terrible finish. Why do enforcers count as refs? Why is Hardy getting a clean pin on the champ in his first match back in TNA and first match in over six months? When Abyss came over to Styles and Flair, I assumed that Flair was going to pick up the chair and nail Abyss, meaning that Abyss wouldn’t be available to do the count, so when Hardy went to get the ref after hitting the Swanton, AJ could gain the upper hand with a cheap move and get the pin. Hardy looks like he could have won, but evil Styles and Flair outfoxed everyone. What happened after the match was even worse as Abyss took a bunch of chair shots from Flair and choke slammed him through the ramp, leaving AJ Styles huddled in the corner of the ring, hugging the belt, and looking like he was about to cry. What kind of idiot thinks a smart way to book an angle is to leave your world champion huddled in the corner of the ring on the verge of tears? That’s your champ? A scared wimp? Fucking hell.
MICK FOLEY SHAVES ERIC BISCHOFF’S HEAD: Before you say anything, I get that this was supposed to be stupid. Obviously, it was a stupid, non-serious segment and it pulled that off with flying colors. But, that doesn’t make it good or something that should be part of the show. It wasn’t executed well, for one thing. Bischoff is pissed at Foley, so says he’s going to shave his head? And Bischoff thinks that just telling Foley that that will happen is enough to make it so? I get that Bischoff is arrogant, but he’s not that stupid in character. Really, this was just an excuse for Foley to shave Bischoff’s head and didn’t accomplish that except through the most obvious and mechanical means of storytelling. When you’re doing a big, stupid segment like this, you need to sell it hard for it to work and they didn’t even try to sell this.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE RANKINGS IDEA: Don’t worry, this won’t count towards the ranking of this episode specifically, but I’m wondering: what happened to the ranking system that they kept touting prior to Against All Odds? It never came about and hasn’t been mentioned since. I loved that idea as it would give a lot of matches tangible worth. I’m just curious what happened to it.
TEAM 3D vs. THE NASTY BOYS & JIMMY HART: Negative three stars? Yes, because the Nasty Boys and Jimmy Hart won the match with Hart actually getting the pin. Every time the Nastys are used, I wonder who likes this and people comment to tell me that they do. Well, you’re wrong. This match was awful. First, the Nasty Boys beat up Jesse Neal at the craft services table, so Team 3D had to look long and hard to find a new partner to match the awesome, over-powering in-ring might of Jimmy Hart. They found Brother Runt and we got a match of out of shape people who can’t wrestle anymore being put over a still viable duo with Jimmy fucking Hart getting the pin. But, hey, we can’t have the Nasty Boys go over completely, so out comes Jesse Neal, ribs taped up, beats up the winners of the match despite being too injured to participate in the match, and, then, helps with putting Sags through a table. Last week, it was Hogan wrestling, this week it’s these guys. Can we please go one week without watching guys way past their prime fooling no one but themselves that they belong in a ring? Maybe then we’ll get a week where it’s just four R’s instead of five for Impact.
| The 411
Better than last week, but still not great. As always, there was lots of potential, but some bad booking decisions brought things down. Plus, a Nasty Boys match doesn’t help things. As far as a show building to a PPV, this was merely adequate. Some of the matches worked like the tag match, the handicap match, and the X-Division stuff, but the TNA World Heavyweight Championship match got buried by making the champ look weak, while the rest look like they’ll be a success so long as they don’t suck horribly. Not inspiring. SHOW RATING: 4.5 |
By: Michael Bauer
NXT 03.16.10:
QUICK RESULTS:
Darren Young and CM Punk defeated Matt Hardy and Justin Gabriel [***]
The Great Khali defeated Daniel Bryan [*]
Heath Slater defeated Michael Tarver [*]
Wade Barrett defeated Skip Sheffield [*3/4]
YOUNG AND PUNK BATTLE HARDY AND GABRIEL: The opening match so rookies team with their pro as Darren Young and CM Punk teamed up to face Matt Hardy and Justin Gabriel. This quite possibly was the best match for NXT since they started. It was a greatly performed match with the psychology of Gabriel wanting to do everything on his own mixed with the Punk/Young saga. The match also got plenty of time and you could feel both rookies wanting to impress not just Hardy and Punk respectively, but every other pro out there as well. Now the ending I wasn’t totally thrilled with as Luke Gallows got involved and decked Gabriel before going after Hardy and getting planted with the Side Effect. But yet, after Hardy goes in the ring, the ref now gets distracted by whatever on the floor and Punk gets the Go2Sleep, allowing Young to just fall on top for the pin. Now, this would have been fine, had Gallows not planted the kid with the Gallows Pole as part of the victory celebration. I’m hoping they can clean that situation up soon, because while it brings some intrigue, it also confuses the hell out of me.
BRYAN TRIES TO TAKE DOWN THE GIANT: So Daniel Bryan was forced into a match by The Great Khali this week. Now, my first thought was that this should have been against the Big Show, since he is Tag Champions with the Miz. But more on that later. Bryan saw Khali and I don’t think he flinched once. I mean, he got up right in Khali’s face when he hit the ring and despite being thrown around before the bell, he did not back down. The main thing I didn’t like was that Khali showed him no respect in this match. Khali hit one one-handed chest chop and tried to end it, but Bryan almost ended up choking out the big guy. Now, granted, Khali shoved him off easily after getting to one knee, but I think that was needed to not kill Bryan. Bryan’s kicks were flush and he actually looked like he could upset the big man. But the second time off the rope would lead right to an absolutely perfect chop from Khali and the bomb for the win. And then the Big Show came out to add more injury to the insult with a choke slam. Now, I get Big Show being used in this role, but I think I would have still preferred to see Big Show face Bryan for this circumstance. Not to say I agree with this “Rocky” concept for Bryan anyway, which is mainly why this is in purgatory.
WADE BARRETT vs. SKIP SHEFFIELD: Our main event saw Jericho’s rookie take on Regal’s rookie as Wade Barrett faced Skip Sheffield. Before the match, we saw Regal trying to help Sheffield, but the meat head doesn’t know to shut the hell up. The match itself was alright, with the some pretty good spots involved, but like the match before it, it felt a little rushed and could have used a few more minutes. The ending was also interesting to say the least as Skip got himself distracted by mouthing off to Regal for some unknown reason. Now, I get the fact that these are rookies and they will make rookie mistakes, but after Sheffield and Regal lost two weeks, you would think the rookie would know about getting distracted by your own doing. Oh yeah, and Jericho screaming commentary, as funny as it is, was distracting as all hell. There is no reason to break away from the match to show Jericho yelling at Cole.
A LOOK AT DAVID OTUNGA: Don’t get me wrong, the video was fine… but it was also fine the first time they showed it Week 1. Three matches in NXT is not a reason to recycle the same exact promo package, just with very limited highlights in NXT and nothing from FCW.
HEATH SLATER vs. MICHAEL TARVER: This match was just not that good. Sure, Slater has been having issues with Carlito and Tarver looks to avenge his mentor, which was perfectly fine. But this match felt really rushed and really didn’t do anything to make me impress by either man. The ending was definitely botched, but Christian was still pumped to see his man go to 3-0. Tarver took exception and beat down on Slater after the bell, leading to a Carlito smile as Christian got pissed. And holy shit, if there ever was a better time for the “That’s Cool!” catchphrase, that was it and he didn’t fucking say it! Seriously, Carlito dropped the ball on that one.
NOTHING
| The 411
This was an average show to me. The opening match was possibly the best match in NXT yet, but everything else was just kinda of there. The only bright side was possibly some clarity in when voting happens, but even that was totally vague. OVERALL RATING: 6.0 |
Until Monday, keep on kickin’ it!
~455~
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