wrestling / Columns
The 411 Wrestling Top 05.05.10: Week 73 – Worst Signings
Hello everyone and welcome to 411 Wrestling’s Top 5 List. What we are going to is take a topic each week and all the writers here on 411 wrestling will have the ability to give us their Top 5 on said topic, plus up to three honorable mentions. Most of our topics will be based on recent events in the Wrestling World, looking at those events that make us think of times past.
So, on to this week’s topic…
So what did our group of writers select? Let’s find out…
Ryan Byers
5.Bill Goldberg (WWE 2003) – Bill Goldberg in WWE could have worked. It really could have. There was enough crossover between WWE and WCW fans at the time the promotion brought him in that he immediately would have been accepted as a major star on the same level as Steve Austin and the Rock if the company would have just brought him in and done one simple thing with him. What is that one simple thing, you ask? All they needed to do is let Bill Goldberg be Bill Goldberg. Let him run through every wrestler who comes within a five foot radius of him. Make him a badass. Make him the ultimate wrecking machine, just like he was when he first rose to prominence. However, WWE decided that they weren’t going to do this for whatever reason. They put a wig on his head during a ridiculous comedy segment with Goldust, and they had him sell far too much for midcard acts like Three Minute Warning and Christian Cage. Goldberg flopped hard in WWE, and it was due to absolutely no fault of his own . . . though I still have to call this one of the worst signings of all time just because the company never should have considered offering him a contract if they weren’t willing to do what anybody with half a brain knew was necessary to get the most mileage possible out of him.
4.Ultimate Warrior (WCW 1998) – On paper, certain parts of this signing don’t sound so bad. Though WWF fans at the time were making fun of WCW for being the home of the old codgers, the fact of the matter is that being the home of the old codgers up to this point had WORKED. Hulk Hogan versus Ric Flair did great on pay per view. Bringing back Roddy Piper to feud with Hollywood Hogan did great on both pay per view AND in the television numbers. Hell, even Warrior’s return helped prop up slumping WCW ratings for the first few weeks. Then everything went to hell in a hand basket. Apparently, prior to signing Warrior for WCW, everybody forgot that he was batshit insane. Everybody forgot that he would insist on stupid gimmicks like disappearing and reappearing in clouds of smoke, showing up in mirrors in which only Hulk Hogan could see him, and being summoned by a lame knockoff of the Bat Signal. Everybody failed to realize that his promos were long, rambling, and nonsensical, capable of mesmerizing legions of six year old boys but not exactly holding the attention of the older audience that was watching pro wrestling at the time. Warrior’s run wound up losing the vast majority of goodwill that WCW had with its fans and putting the company in a position in which making the number one signing on my list seemed like a good idea.
3.Zeus (WWF 1989) – At least the Ultimate Warrior and Bill Goldberg signings could have looked good on paper. I have no idea how anybody could have come up with the idea that putting actor “Tiny” Lister under contract and in a main event role when he had literally next to no professional wrestling training could have lead anywhere other than disaster. It’s particularly mind-boggling when you consider the fact that, up to this point, the entire goal of finding an opponent for Hulk Hogan seemed to be putting him in there with somebody who was a more talented wrestler and could help him find his way in the ring – whether you’re talking about the Iron Sheik, David Schultz, Paul Orndorff, King Kong Bundy, or the vast majority of his early opponents. Signing Zeus and putting him up against Hogan wasn’t just signing a completely untrained wrestler and relying on him to main event. It was signing a completely untrained wrestler and relying on him to main event with a guy who had yet to prove that he could put on an entertaining match in the situation in which he was the most polished wrestler in the ring. Given the foregoing, it’s no surprise that Zeus’ run atop the WWF was very short lived, even though by all accounts I’ve heard Tiny Lister is one of the nicest guys who you’ll ever meet.
2.Lanny Poffo (WCW 1995) – This one absolutely blows my mind. In 1994, Hulk Hogan signed with WCW. Not long after, Randy Savage followed. In 1995, Savage successfully lobbied to get his brother, Lanny “The Genius” Poffo a contract with the company. Though there was some nepotism involved here, it was the kind of nepotism that most people don’t mind since Lanny was a talented wrestler in his own right. You see, it wasn’t the nepotism that made this a bad idea. It was the execution. Lanny Poffo was signed to a contract with WCW from 1995 to 1999 which, according to some reports, earned him over a million dollars. This occurred despite the fact that Poffo NEVER ONCE APPEARED ON WCW TELEVISION. Seriously. Making the story even sweeter was the fact that the company apparently at one point attempted to obtain the rights to the name and gimmick of legendary wrestler Gorgeous George Wagner to bestow upon Poffo, though for whatever reason they never went through with those plans and handed the name to Randy Savage’s stripper girlfriend. This resulted in a threats of legal action by Robert Kellum, a distant relative of Wagner’s who claimed ownership of the name. This dispute was resolved by signing Kellum to a WCW contract of his own, giving us the classic wrestling gimmick of the Maestro. Oh, and Lanny Poffo still cashed his big checks for years without making an on-screen appearance. This whole situation might be described in your Funk & Wagnalls if you look up the word “debacle.”
1.Vince Russo (WCW 1999) – You had to know this was coming. I do believe that it is inaccurate to say that Vince Russo “killed” WCW, because, at the end of the day, its programming was still drawing decent cable television ratings when it was canceled in 2001 and the only thing that resulted in its death in the most literal since was a cable television executive deciding that the Turner networks wanted to go in another direction that did not involve pro wrestling. However, even though I don’t think you can honestly say that Vince Russo killed WCW, I think you can honestly say that his signing and subsequent involvement in the company is what finally and conclusively lost the Monday Night War for the promotion. So how did this all happen? Russo, who had been a member of the WWF creative team during what were its most successful years to date, negotiated a deal with WCW under the pretext that he and his buddy Ed Ferrara were the ones who were primarily responsible for the WWF content that took the company from a distant second place promotion to being once more a viable rival of WCW. However, in padding his resume to get the new job, Russo failed to mention that he had only been part of a committee that included other guys like Michael Hayes and Jim Cornette and that, regardless of what he and the rest of the committee came up with, Vince McMahon still had final creative control. He also ignored the fact that he was working with once in a lifetime talents like Steve Austin and the Rock, who were so damn good at what they did that people would probably tune in to watch them if they were reading old scripts from Bosom Buddies in between matches. WCW still bought Russo’s line of BS, though, and the result was a drop in television ratings so precipitous and such a butting of heads with network highers up that Russo, at one point portrayed as the savior and golden boy of the company, was tossed out of power roughly three months later. Then, for some reason, they brought him back and other professional wrestling companies continued to employ him for the last decade. The mind boggles.
Scott Rutherford
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Hogan & Bischoff – TNA – As tempting as it may be to launch this into the Top 5, some good may eventually come of this. Right now it certainly looms large as a boneheaded decision.
Lex Lugar – WWF – Had all the tools that Vince loved in a wrestler but a lack of motivation from Luger and dud creative decisions rendered this a complete waste.
The Public Enemy – WWF – Amidst much hype these guys were almost DOA. A mix of bad attitude and an unwillingness from the WWF wrestlers to accept them meant failure all round.
5.Bill Goldberg – WWE – I have to sorta agree to disagree with Byers as to why Goldberg was a WWE dud. Partly I agree with his opinion about the WWE being unwilling to let Goldberg be Goldberg and that hurt is overall appeal greatly. However, I think there was solid reasoning as to why they didn’t want him to roll through the roster. Quite simply Goldberg was only ever going to stick out the year he signed for and the fact he stated he would only make so many appearances meant he would only have limited screen time anyway. Why would they let someone punk out a large majority of the roster and then see him run off into the sunset? All the WWE tried to do was turn him into a better worker but Bill was resistant to any other thinking outside of how he was booked in WCW and also the fact he thought was almost above the business. His attitude didn’t work in the WWE at the time and the heavy RAW brand politics didn’t help either. There was equal blame to go round and a middle ground compromise would have worked well, but neither side was willing to budge on the issue.
4.The Steiner Brothers – WWF – So much was made of the Steiners coming to the WWF back in the 90’s when they were still pretty much the top team in the world. Unfortunately for the WWF, the got the brothers just after they crested in terms of motivation and got a team that almost seemed bored with being there. While their run wasn’t a complete failure, they never adapted to the WWF style at the time and mostly found wrestlers unable to keep up with them so their effort was minimal. However, the few times they actually did get quality opposition (the legendary match against Bret & Owen), they stepped up and were their awesome selves and showed just how lazy they were for most of their tenure.
3.The Sandman – WCW – Talk about an ill fit. Everything that made Sandman appealing in ECW was completely stripped from him when he made his foray into the mainstream world of WCW and thus come another useless signing. Not sure why WCW was even interested in Sandman but I can pretty much guess what Sandman saw in them ($$$$$). While he certainly livened up the hardcore scene in WCW, he just stood out so badly that management probably had no idea what to do with him. Oh, the name, I almost forgot the name change…Hardcore Hak. ‘Nuff said.
2.Terry Taylor – WWF (1988) – Poor Terry, one of the hottest wrestlers going around in the 1980’s. Taylor worked his way through the territories and for a short while the NWA earning a rep as a great heel with a mix of great interviews, ego and talent. When the WWF announced they had signed him, big things were expected but suddenly everything took a terrible turn when he was given the Red Rooster gimmick. Seriously? While no one would have expected Terry to be a main eventer, there certainly was a case to be made for an IC Title level talent in the mold of Curt Hennig or Tito Santana. Taylor’s signing reeked of WWF just getting there hands on as much talent as they could to fill three different house show circuits and with such a damaging gimmick he quickly got the reputation as a JTTS and his career never even came close to reaching the heights that were once predicted. Poor Terry, I wonder if he ever regretted signing that deal?
1.The Ultimate Warrior – WCW – This is one of the glorious disasters that you always hope would happen when the ego’s of men get in the way. From the absolutely awful storylines (ghost in the mirror anyone) to the atrocious matches (War Games – even if he wasn’t in the match as such) no actual good come from Warriors tenure. Most people assumed he was brought in so Hogan could get his revenge after losing so cleaning against him at WM6 and to just embarrass him. Warrior for his part probably didn’t care because he would have been making copious amounts of money for very little effort and really, that’s all Warrior really cares about. Throw in the apparent creative control (how else can you explain the crazy shit that kept coming up) and you had an epic mess. Little known fact…while most people know that Davey Boy Smith hurt his back on the afore mentioned War Games card thanks to the trapdoor in the ring. The fact that hardly any of the wrestlers knew there was a door even in the ring that night thanks to the bookers wanting to keep Warriors appearance a surprise. The ensuring, and for nearly six months undiagnosed, spinal infection helped drag Davey even deeper into addictions because the doctors though he was bullshitting about the pain to get more meds. So much stupid shit came from Warriors time in WCW and it surely ranks as the greatest clusterfuck signing of all time.
Chad Nevett
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Hulk Hogan & Eric Bischoff (TNA) – Too soon to say for sure, but, I will say this: magic ring.
Buff Bagwell (WWF) – One match before being released for attitude problems after ten years with WCW. That’s got to be some kind of record.
Bobby Lashley (TNA) – Lots of hype with almost no results. The guy left the company with an unused world title shot from winning that Thanksgiving Impact tournament to boot. But, his stay wasn’t long and didn’t hurt the company much.
5.Goldberg (WWE) – Bad booking or Goldberg being a prima donna, it doesn’t matter, his run in the WWE just didn’t work. He didn’t have the same mystique as his original WCW run, so I understand the WWE trying to build him differently — but, at same time, Goldberg was so limited in what he could do, both in the ring and on the mic, that there wasn’t much chance of that working. Especially with Goldberg only doing a limited number of appearances and leaving after a year. Just a case of a guy in the wrong place at the wrong time, but given that his success was only a few years previous, it shouldn’t have been that way.
4.Bill Watts (WCW) – Regardless of what anyone thinks of Bill Watts’s decisions while booker at WCW in 1992-93, it’s hard to argue that his tenure was a success. His attitude and ideas of what would work just didn’t mesh with what the audience or the wrestlers wanted. He changed the rules to reflect the sensibilities that he preferred, ignoring the reactions of the crowds and the workers — the banning of moves from the top rope being the most obvious of the stupid decisions. It wasn’t all bad, but his time as booker held the company back at a crucial time.
3.Ultimate Warrior (WCW 1998) – Really, you could include almost any Warrior signing after his first depature from the WWF, but this one was such a train wreck. Forming the oWn (One Warrior Nation) to stand in opposition to the nWo, Warrior participated in three matches total. None of them good, including the atrocious match with Hollywood Hulk Hogan at Halloween Havoc. Warrior clearly couldn’t perform in the ring and only screwed himself more by demanding more money. It was one thing when his ego was at least backed up by something, but this was almost sad.
2.Bret Hart (WCW) – Bret Hart left the WWF as the just-screwed-over-former-world-champion with the fans behind him and WCW did what with him? No, seriously, I’m wondering, because I can’t even remember. They misused one of the best wrestlers in the business at a time when using him properly could have done serious damage to the competition and, instead, Hart had an unmemorable stint in the company that ended with his career being ended in the ring thanks to injury. Frankly, I’ll never understand the rationale behind not pushing Hart big time given his position and the chance to capitalise on any anger the fans had over what happened in Montreal. Not even a case of hindsight being 20/20, it was just bad booking that wasted a top star. Given the potential success that could have been yielded from Hart’s presence, this was a big mistake on both WCW and Hart’s parts.
1.Vince Russo (WCW) – Vince Russo didn’t kill WCW, but he definitely drove it to the morgue. A very imaginative, creative mind, Russo worked great in the WWF environment where Vince McMahon is the final say on what gets done, acting as a much-needed editor for Russo. Now, honestly, that’s the sort of thing that you may not notice until Russo is left to his own devices as he was at WCW, but that doesn’t change the amount of stupid, awful angles he was responsible for during his time there. David Arquette was world champ? Three swerves per night it seemed? Hell, Russo himself as champ? Russo did a lot of harm to WCW, not as much as some, but at least those people mostly dismantled what they built up. Russo just tore stuff down.
Julian Bond
HONORABLE MENTIONS
Bubba The Love Sponge (TNA) – Am I missing something here? Who the living f$ck is this guy….why does anyone care…and why was he on any of our TV screens?!? Seriously.
Mike Awesome (WCW) – This really may have been a signing by WCW just for the fact of screwing over competitor ECW with getting one of their best guys, but none the less, Awesome signed on in WCW only to become a sadly laughable former shell of himself as the “Fat Chick Thriller”.
Bobby Lashley (TNA) – Wow….oh TNA. Why the living hell did they sign and hype up the signing of the pretty well-known and solid wrestler/MMA fighter Lashley only to not only have him BARELY appear on TV, but then let him go only after (literally) a handful of matches? The world may never know.
5.Tank Abbott (WCW) – To go from a very well-known and hard-hitting UFC fighter to becoming a laugh-out (not in an intentionally funny way) one-trick joke of an “angry-man dancer” (with his crazy stupid Three Count storyline) is nuff said on a very, VERY dumb-ass talent signing.
4.Ultimate Warrior (WCW) – Hogan….vs….Warrior….2!!!!!! The greatest WCW event of all time!!!….which is the hype I totally remember WCW saying when they signed the pretty-aged Warrior to come back and face former “nemesis” Hogan. Considering that the company wasted TONS of money on hype, PPV/TV time, “special effects” (lol), and hell….even a wrestler’s health (the sad British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith/trapdoor incident) just to revisit a feud that was DOA once brought back to life….that was a hell of a horrible signing.
3.Scott Steiner (WWE) – Taking the former and pretty over at the time ex-WCW champ Scott Steiner and putting him into one of the absolutely worst World Title programs that the world has EVER seen with Triple H at the time was just a traversty of signing to witness. So bad that I personally don’t really remember what the hell else Steiner did after the program…besides hanging out with Test and Stacy Keibler.
2.Bret Hart (WCW) – To sign the legendary ex-WWF wrestler may have not sounded like a dumb idea of all at the time when you look at that fact. But the way that WCW debuted him only to have him become a serious and sad afterthought of a World Champ shortly afterwards (I honest to God keep forgetting that he was actually a WCW champion at some point!!!) made this one of the dumbest and unfortunate signings cause it had so much more potential that the WCW used it as.
1.The “No Limit” Soldiers (WCW) – Rap group turned “wrestlers”….excuse me….lol…NOT SO GREAT rap group turned HORRIBLE “wrestlers”….just really about the fact that WCW paid the rap label money in a sad attempt to go more “mainstream” by using their name and talent was SO messed up…I honestly don’t feel like even going into details about it. Just please YouTube it to see what I’m talking about….(please also pay attention to “Mean Gene” trying to announce Master P)…
Jeremy Thomas
HONORABLE MENTIONS
The Nasty Boys (TNA) – It’s only this low because their tenure was so (thankfully) short. But in terms of stupid, pointless signings this certainly ranks up there. Tell me again why anyone thought these guys would draw any interest or ratings in 2010?
Nathan Jones (WWE) – Remember all the effort put into signing this guy? Remember all the segments he got, and how much they pushed him? Remember how much he SUCKED in the ring and then decided to take his ball and go home because life on the road was too hard? Yeah, me too.
5.Ashley Massaro (WWE) – People have crapped on the Diva Search all over the place, but honestly, it came out with some decent workers. Christy Hemme was no Stratus, but she picked up a lot of skills during her time. Layla’s become a solid personality and not terrible in the ring, and Eve is improving. Only Ashley was a complete waste, and she was from the get-go. She never learned how to wrestle and was injured with Candice-like frequency. She wasn’t attractive enough to compete with the eye candy Divas, despite a Playboy spread, and pretty much sucked the life out of every show she was on. Of all the Divas that the ‘E has picked up, within or without of the Diva search, Ashley was probably the worst.
4.Tank Abbott (WCW) – Yeah, this was terrible. Tank Abbot was a name and a legit tough guy, but we all knew he wasn’t going to be a great worker in the ring. So instead he was used in stupid stuff like Three Count and it became one big joke. The problem here is that Tank could have conceivably been used right; he was initially supposed to be an opponent for Goldberg. That never happened though and instead we got the precursor (and much more poorly-booked version) of what is now the Big Show’s “knockout punch” finisher gimmick. What’s even crazier is that at one point Russo wanted him to hold the WCW World Championship for a short time thanks to the fact that Goldberg had put Bret Hart out of wrestling and Jeff Jarrett was injured. Yeah, that would have gone well.
3.Bubba the Love Sponge (TNA) – Too high? Not at all. You can call me out for being biased here against Bubba, and you’re right. I hate the man and his stupid shock jock attitude. (I don’t like Howard Stern either, by the way, but that’s neither here nor there because he’s never been employed full-time by a major wrestling company.) I think that he’s a complete tool and he is one of the worst examples of TNA hiring on a whole bunch of Hogan lackeys just because they were Hogan lackeys. But let’s set all that aside. The guy was a PR NIGHTMARE for TNA. Not only does he go off on Haiti–and let’s not get into whether he was right or not, it was stupid to do–but then he refuses to let the whole thing with Kong go. The guy is, flat out, an idiot. Not only is he an idiot, he’s an idiot who went on with his buddy Brent and trash wrestling fans en masse…while he was employed by the company. The biggest problem here though is not Bubba. Bubba is just being Bubba and while he is an abhorrent person, I can ignore him. The problem is that, knowing this is the kind of stuff he would likely do, TNA hired him. They kept him on after Haiti. They chose him over Kong because Hogan has control. They kept him on after he started trashing their fans. TNA made a stupid, stupid move and it hurt them in the end. Yeah, terrible choice guys.
2.Mike Adamle (WWE) – Again, this guy wasn’t an in-ring talent but no one made people change the channel faster than him. From his initial debut where he introduced “Jeff Harvey” to his bumblings through the ECW era. Granted, it was vaguely amusing when he was doing it as a General Manager, but it was still a coat of cheap paint and masking tape over the fact that the ‘E had signed this guy, who was supposed to be the next Jim Ross, for fairly big money and he bottomed out for them immediately. The Adamle Originals I don’t discredit him for, because it obviously was the booking and not him. However, is lack of performing skills in every aspect of his job meant that this was the biggest black eye on the ‘E’s talent scouting department in a long, long time.
1.The Ultimate Warrior (WCW) – Worst. Signing. Ever. I mean really, what do you want me to say? This was the equivalent of the WWF signing Nathan Jones, only with more name power and stupider booking. I will give them credit for building a bit of hype for his debut, but no one really thought we were going to get anything that even remotely lived up to WrestleMania VI. What we got was something that barely would have lived up to the Cactus Jack “Lost in Cleveland” episodes if they had been the precursor to this. Warrior was not even the limited worker he was during his last time with the WWF and his promo skills had degenerated to new levels of stupidity. It was bizarrely entertaining in some way, but hey…so is Manos: The Hands of Fate. It doesn’t mean I ever wanted to see it or feel that watching it was anything more than a waste of time I can never get back.
