wrestling / Columns
Wrestling’s 4R’s Monday Edition 5.31.10: ROH, Superstars, Impact and SmackDown Reviewed!
TWITTER
http://www.twitter.com/411wrestling
http://www.twitter.com/411moviestv
http://www.twitter.com/411music
http://www.twitter.com/411games
http://www.twitter.com/411mma
In HD where available…
By: Aaron Hubbard
ROH on HDNet 05.24.10:
QUICK RESULTS:
Eddie Kingston def. Joey Ryan via DQ [1/4*]
Joey Ryan & Shawn Daivari def. Necro Butcher & Eddie Kingston [1/2*]
TV Title: Eddie Edwards (C) def. Colt Cabana [***]
ARIES – THE MAN WITH THE POWER: This was a good promo from Aries. Keeping momentum after losing the title is something that can be very difficult to do, but I think Aries is doing well. This promo where he pointed out that Roderick Strong and Tyler Black are still stuck feuding with each other while Aries has moved on was a nice continuation of the character. He used to be the guy that thought he was so great he should have the title. Now he’s the guy who thinks he’s so great he doesn’t need the title. Aries = Pure Entertainment.
BRAD MACKIE: 1963-2010: I thought this was pure class. There would have been precious little backlash if they hadn’t done this; heck, if it wasn’t for the newswire nobody would have known this happened. But it happened and it was great of them to dedicate the show to a guy who worked hard behind the scenes to make the show better.
SCOH V RECAP/DBD VIII HYPE: Now this is filler I can support. If all of the positive hype about Supercard of Honor V hadn’t already convinced me to purchase the show as soon as possible, this would have. They highlighted every big match, except the Kings of Wrestling-Motor City Machine Guns for legal reasons, and made it look awesome. Cornette also announced Black vs. Richards as the main event for Death Before Dishonor VIII. Push that match hard ROH; it could be the company-defining match you need right now.
CABANA vs. EDWARDS/CORINO SHENANIGANS: I could not get into this match. The only thing I kept thinking the whole time was that these two are polar opposites. Edwards is a good mechanic who knows how to have exciting matches but has the personality of a brick wall. Cabana is pure personality but always has trouble putting on truly great matches unless it’s a well booked brawl with lots of hatred. Put them together and you’d have a genuine main-event guy. Anyway, it’s not for lack of quality, I just personally get into the match. However, I am officially sick of Corino interfering in Cabana’s matches. I’ve been pretty open about my dislike for “Mr. Wrestling” and his promos just grate on my nerves. I don’t “love to hate” Corino’s character, I just hate it. And the interference is BS in my opinion. Edwards just got the biggest rub of his career by beating Davey Richards cleanly in a MOTY candidate. Yet here he is having Corino distract Cabana to get a victory. This wasn’t as bad as it could have been; Eddie’s shinbreaker on the title belt to set up the Half Crab was pretty cool. But is it too much to ask for an occasional clean finish?
EMBASSY vs. MONSTERS R US: When the most talented guy in a match is Eddie Kingston, there’s some problems. Okay, Daivari is pretty solid but he’s not all that entertaining either. Anyway, this started out pretty bad because Joey Ryan sucks and was given control in his match with Eddie. You know how that match should go? Chops, suplexes, spinning back fist, done. Screw Joey Ryan and his non-offense. The second match under Butcher’s rules was a little more entertaining but not any better. I was glad to see the Embassy get a win and having Rasche finally cement his face status by making the save was good. I must say, the short-lived alliance between Necro Butcher, Eddie Kingston and Rasche Brown is pretty intimidating. I wouldn’t mess with any of these guys, much less all three.
NOTHING OF NOTE.
DELIRIOUS THROAT INJURY RECAP: Delirious is hurt. WE GET IT! You do not need to show the same freaking clip every week, you don’t need to have Mike Hogewood mic time away from the matches to whine about it, and you certainly don’t need to show it after showing what happened with Delirious and Austin Aries at SCOH V. That was angle advancement. Going back and complaining about it again is ridiculous. You guys are actually managing to make me dread seeing DELIRIOUS and AUSTIN ARIES! Enough already!
This was a pretty skippable episode. The highlights of it were an Austin Aries promo and a video recap of another event. If you didn’t catch this, don’t bother. I didn’t feel insulted by this episode, but I do feel that my time could have been used better. Considering most people have to go way out of their way to watch this show, that’s a feeling I shouldn’t be feeling. SHOW RATING: 4.5 |
ROH:
* This is the second time I’ve seen Raymond & Able, and they are entertaining as hell. Josh needs to change his last name to “Cain”, and they need to clearly go heel or anti-face, but they need to get some wins and officially join the scene. Good stuff in the opener all around.
* “Word has come out of the circumstances that led to there being so much recap” – what’s that word? You’re the reporter, dude. I’m more forgiving of ROH since I learned about their taping and show scheduling (thanks IWC!), but this was ridiculous.
* Austin Aries is the man – I’m all for whatever gets him more TV time (courtesy of Mario his personal cameraman). Start by making sure he is present whenever Roddy or Tyler have to talk, and then give him a skit slot to replace the gawdofful Colt Cabana crap.
Posted by: s1rude
That beer chugging segment sucked donkey balls and is reason #2,101 why those guys will never be able to hang in the majors.
Posted By: Wow-how old are you Aaron?
I’m 20 and will have my associates degree in liberal arts at the end of the Fall Semester. And I’m old enough to realize that anyone who won’t let themselves laugh is destined for a very unhappy life. As for that being a reason why those guys will never be able to hang in the majors? Well, duh! No leprechauns, no fake Italian butchering the English language, no disinterested guest host, no average looking twin females with no discernable talent, no Russians, no magic ring, no Go-gurt, no strip poker…just three guys being themselves. That’s not suitable for WWE and TNA. It might hurt the creative team’s collective brains.
To s1rude, I’m sorry about not explaining “the circumstances”. I generally assume that anyone who takes time to read the ROH R’s are fans who keep up with it. I can’t recall the exact happenings, but for whatever reason they ended up not being able to tape everything they wanted to and have had to try and fill six episodes with only enough content for three episodes.
Able and Raymond are awesome and should definitely stay on my TV.
By: Chad Nevett
iMpact! 05.27.10:
QUICK RESULTS
– Ink, Inc. defeated Team 3D and the Band [*1/2]
– Kazarian (#10) defeated Jay Lethal [*1/2]
– Abyss (#5) defeated Orlando Jordan via disqualification [*]
– The Beautiful People (C) defeated Sarita & Taylor Wilde for the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship [1/2*]
– Desmond Wolfe (#7) defeated Jeff Hardy (#3) [**1/2]
– AJ Styles (#2) defeated Mr. Anderson (#4) [**]
JEFF HARDY (#3) vs. DESMOND WOLFE (#7): This was a solid match. Wolfe looked motivated, while Hardy did his thing. I’m not too high on Hardy, but when he’s in the ring with a quality performer, he definitely delivers. They had good chemistry and went through their regular spots. I really wish that Desmond Wolfe would stop doing the Tower of London or actually hit it once in a while. He always goes for it and it never works. Maybe if he didn’t spend twenty minutes just standing there. The match ended when Hardy went for Whisper in the Wind, but Wolfe dodged and it wound up hitting the ref instead. Wolfe used a sock full of quarters to knock out Hardy and get the pin. A solid match that left me wondering what it means for the #7 contender beating the #3. Also, nice to see Hardy eat a pin for once.
MATT MORGAN NEEDS A TAG PARTNER: Following up on last week, Matt Morgan will get a rematch for the TNA World Tag Team Championship against the Band at Slammiversary, but he needs a partner. He came out and laid the situation out, and asked anyone who wanted to be a star to come out. No one did. Morgan noticed that Kurt Angle was still on commentary and asked that the ‘bald kid in the back’ come on down. Morgan’s arrogance was so amped up and funny as he talked down to Angle as if he was a rookie. Angle reminded Morgan that the last time they were in the ring together, Angle walked away the winner, which Morgan found exceedingly funny. Samoa Joe interrupted things, Morgan split, and we were left with Angle and Joe nose-to-nose, trash-talking, and reminding us that, yes, a match between the two of them is coming. This segment reminded us of Morgan’s feud, had some great mic work from Morgan, and used the Joe connection well to segue into Angle’s quest to defeat the top ten contenders, which will include Samoa Joe. Not one thing that I didn’t like about this segment.
AJ STYLES (#2) vs. MR. ANDERSON (#4): This match is borderline Right for a few reasons. With Anderson’s face turn, he needs a more hated opponent than AJ Styles. While Styles is hated, he’s hated usually because he’s a cheap dick taking on guys the people love. Anderson isn’t there and the crowd was clearly mixed in its reaction. It doesn’t help that Styles just can’t get into the rhythm of wrestling like a heel. He can’t let go of his flashy moves and can’t help but bask in the cheer of the crowd a little. The guy is such a natural face that it can’t help but come out in a match against such a natural heel despite both men playing against type. The work, though, was good. Both men looked good with neither dominating too much. Lots of back-and-forth action. The ending was lame with Styles apparently grabbing the tights and barely getting his feet on the ropes (and in a way that obviously didn’t provide any leverage). After the match, Anderson said that Styles beat him at his own game by grabbing the tights, which AJ denied — and the crowd promptly corrected him on that delusion. Anderson attacked Hardy with the mic, Beer Money came down, and Hardy saved the day chair in hand. The episode ended with Hardy and Anderson making nice.
INK, INC vs. TEAM 3D vs. THE BAND: This wasn’t a match, it was an angle. Again, as I must always, let me state for the record that tag matches with more than two teams automatically piss me off, and TNA uses them way too much. The story here was the burgeoning conflict between Jesse Neal and Brother Ray, but the match began with Eric Young and both members of Ink, Inc. We had no idea which two members of the Band were participating here since both Hall and Nash stood in the corner, waiting for the tag, but Young wrestled against both members of Ink, Inc. for the first few minutes. It was some solid wrestling, but made me think that Eric Young could take on the duo in a two-on-one match. I’m not sure if that puts over Young or makes me think Ink, Inc. sucks. Young only left when he got too close to Brother Ray and got tagged. Ray then laid into Neal until Devon tagged himself in, picked Neal up, and tossed him into his corner so Shannon Moore could tag himself in. Eventually, it got back to Ray and Neal with Ray going to use a chair, Devon taking, and Ray getting speared and pinned. This further expands the rift between Ray and Devon over the issue, and pissed Ray off more. He challenged Neal to a match at Slammiversary to settle the issue. Not a bad feud, but this match was just okay. Eric Young was great and the Band just leaving when it became all about Team 3D and Ink, Inc. was amusing.
ROXXI GETS A TITLE SHOT: A short promo where Christy Hemme informed Roxxi that she’s getting a title shot at Slammiversary against Madison Rayne and Roxxi is excited, because she’s worked super-hard and never thought she’d wrestle again. Roxxi isn’t strong on the mic, so this promo simply did the job of booking the match and letting us know that Roxxi is indeed excited about it.
THE ENIGMA AND THE ASSHOLE: The show began with Jeff Hardy coming out to get on the mic, making me reach for the mute button after I reached my limit of sentences that begin quiet and end with a shocking amount of unnecessary intensity. Hardy called out Mr. Anderson, wanting to know why he helped him out last week. Anderson came out (god I love his entrance theme) and delivered an anemic, rambling promo that told us absolutely nothing. Something about how he’s an asshole and everyone is an asshole and Jeff Hardy is an asshole. Entertaining in parts, but pretty worthless at advancing the actual story. The, AJ Styles came out with Ric Flair and the other Nu-Horsemen to insult the two of them and mock the guy in the ring for demanding a match with him later that night. Hardy said he didn’t ask for a match and AJ Styles wasn’t talking to Hardy, goddammit! Who does Anderson think he is asking for a match against the Phenomenal One? He thinks he’s Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiister Anderson! …Anderson! Both halves of this segment felt incomplete, like we got the first three to five minutes of two different promos and never got the actual payoffs or endings.
KAZARIAN (#10) vs. JAY LETHAL: Prior to the match, Kazarian was being interviewed by Christy Hemme and he put over the idea of Ric Flair being his new mentor. Flair came in and began giving him advice on taking out Jay Lethal before AJ Styles interrupted them, saying he’s been looking for Flair all day, which is strange since I’m pretty sure Flair came out with Styles in the first segment of the show. Styles needed some advice for his match with Anderson, but Flair blew him off, saying that he’s AJ Styles and will be fine, turning back to Kaz. Uh oh, sibling rivalry time! The match was rather disappointing for two X-Division guys. It was slow and very grounded, neither guy showing anything too amazing. Flair came out during the match and got semi-involved, while Lethal put on the slowest Figure Four I’ve seen in a while. Why Kazarian just laid there is beyond me (besides having to for the spot to work). Kazarian picked up the win when Flair distracted Lethal and, after the match, Flair began beating on Lethal, but Lethal turned it around and beat up the old man while Kazarian just lay on the mat. AJ Styles came out and attacked Lethal, doing a good job of it until Kazarian finally woke up and got in the way, leading to Lethal dropkicking them both out of the ring, and Flair yelling at Styles for getting involved. Awful story that’s made especially bad by looking at the track record of the four guys currently being mentored by Flair: AJ Styles lost his belt, Desmond Wolfe lost Chelsea, and Beer Money have lost every fucking match they’ve been in. Ric Flair ain’t exactly the star-maker in TNA, kids. Hopefully, this will end with Styles realizing he doesn’t need Flair and turning face again.
ORLANDO JORDAN vs. ABYSS (#5): Hey, who wants to see a match where it’s built around a man owning a woman and another guy doing his best to bust open stitches received from a broken bottle? Um, not me. The match was built around Orlando Jordan attacking the arm that Wolfe cut up last week, showing that Abyss just has some serious issues. The match ended after Abyss was accidentally knocked into Chelsea and Wolfe came down to the ring and attacked Abyss until Abyss made the comeback against both Wolfe and Jordan, picked Chelsea up, and carried her to the back. The match wasn’t good and the story was even worse.
ROB VAN DAM CALLS OUT STING: Well, this was pointless. RVD came out, said Sting sucks, demanded that he face him man to man, Sting showed a video of him beating RVD with a baseball bat on Van Dam’s first night with TNA, said that was just a taste of what’s to come, and continued to walk around the rafters. You know what this did? Not make me care one bit about their upcoming match at Slammiversary. Good job, fellas.
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH – THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE vs. SARITA & TAYLOR WILDE: Yeah, this match was shit. Velvet Sky got his ass handed to her for a few minutes, taking any and all of the real wrestling moves from two superior Knockouts before Lacey Von Erich saved the day with clumsy power. The Beautiful People retained the titles, but looked like shit doing it. I miss Alyssa Flash and Hamada.
PUPPET THE PSYCHO DWARF ENTERS THE IMPACT ZONE: First, we got an extended commercial for that Half-Pint Brawlers show that begins this week on TNA and it looks awful. Then, we actually got a visit from the main little person, Puppet the Psycho Dwarf and he joined Taz and Tenay on commentary. I understand promoting other TNA shows, especially ones produced by Eric Bischoff, but this added absolutely nothing to the show. Once the Knockouts match began, it actually detracted quite a bit as the commentary took a tone that makes Jerry Lawler sound modest and respectful in his comments towards the Divas. It was uncomfortable to listen to these three guys leer at the Knockouts. Using Knockouts as eye candy works best when you don’t have three guys making crude comments at the same time. They kept it up through the match and, then, after the match, Puppet went down to the ring to celebrate with the Beautiful People. Playing into their characters, they were excited to see the little guy, but, as they were leaving, he smacked Velvet Sky on the ass and that was a mistake. She promptly kicked the shit out of him and almost redeemed the whole thing by giving this skeevy douchebag some comeuppance. But, as is the TNA way, any time something good happens, they have to nullify it with something that I will never be able to get out of my head and may, in fact, haunt me for the rest of my life: Lacey Von Erich checked on Puppet, who then forced himself on her, and she was into it! Yes, folks, if you missed Impact this week, you missed Lacey Von Erich rolling around the ring, making out with a guy named Puppet the Psycho Dwarf. Give me writers removing their eyes any day of the week…
THE NEW RANKING SYSTEM: Not a complete criticism of this episode specifically, but something that came up while watching it: Desmond Wolfe (#7) beat Jeff Hardy (#3), so what does that mean for his rank? They never actually explained how the rankings change, how guys move up or down. Is it like Ring of Honor’s system where if you beat a guy, you take his spot, and everyone else is pushed down a spot? Is it updated after every pay-per-view based on the same criteria that created the initial rankings? That seems like the best bet if you visit TNA’s website where you can still vote for who you think should get a title shot. There are 15 options, which are good, going outside of just the top ten. The options: Rob Terry, AJ Styles, Brother Devon, Abyss, Jeff Jarrett, Desmond Wolfe, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Matt Morgan, Sting, the Pope, Rhino, Brother Ray, Mr. Anderson, and Hernandez. Okay, does anyone see a few things wrong with that list? First of all, Samoa Joe and Kazarian aren’t on it. If voting is a part of making the top ten, shouldn’t people already on the list be options? Second of all, what the fuck are Team 3D, Rhino, and Hernandez doing on the list? A tag team, a guy who hasn’t been on TV since the year began basically, and a guy who has been out ‘injured’ for a couple of months. This system is a piece of shit. Instead of doing something simple with the ranking system and making it easy to understand, like everything else they do, TNA has made it overly complicated, hasn’t explained it properly, and made it likely to fail. Again, not a criticism of this episode, but something that this episode raised by not explaining what happens when the number 7 ranked guy beats the number three ranked guy, because that should have consequences. Except we don’t know what they are.
This week’s theme: women are objects! Abyss owns Chelsea and protects her like a pet, while Puppet the Psycho Dwarf made lewd comments with Taz and Mike Tenay, slapped Velvet Sky’s ass, and made out with Lacey Von Erich. Christ. We did get a couple of good matches, though. Not enough to make up for this dirty feeling that I’m left with after watching Impact. SHOW RATING: 4.0 |
By: Steve Cook
Superstars 05.27.10:
QUICK RESULTS:
Cody Rhodes b. JTG
Yoshi Tatsu b. Primo
Zack Ryder b. Evan Bourne
ZACK RYDER vs. EVAN BOURNE: Hey, these guys were actually on Raw a couple of weeks ago and had Buzz Aldrin & some Divas with them. Now they are on Superstars and Gail Kim & Alicia Fox have no time for this nonsense. That’s women for you. These guys have pretty good chemistry together and my only complaint with this match was that it featured the same finish pattern as the first match (Guy 1 misses finisher, Guy 2 hits his). The guy in last week’s comment thread who pointed this out should be commended for helping me notice these things. Other than that it was a perfectly acceptable main event for Superstars.
CODY RHODES vs. JTG: One-third of the former Legacy met one-half of the former Cryme Tyme here in what was a pretty decent match. JTG looked a lot better here than he did against one of the Dudebusters on SmackDown, which means that Cody is getting pretty decent while nobody’s paying attention. Ted DiBiase is the one that seems ear-marked for big things, but Cody’s been looking better in his SmackDown matches than Ted has on Raw. I thought this was a pretty good effort from both guys, but the crowd was notably dead for it. Yeah, they were in Cleveland, but you have to engage the audience to get into the Right section of this column.
YOSHI TATSU vs. PRIMO: This falls into the category of “Things that weren’t bad, but not great either”. Primo’s in a tough spot these days because he just turned heel to team with a guy who got fired a couple of weeks later. Where he goes from here, I’m not really sure, but he’s gotta hope for better than jobbing to Yoshi Tatsu. I like Yoshi, but I can’t remember the last time he had anything resembling a storyline. He did win the pre-WrestleMania battle royal though, so he’s got that going for him. Decent action, but not much to care about.
Nothing of note.
If this recap seems rushed to you, it was. This show was on my birthday and I spent half of it looking for my glasses, which went missing for some reason. Fortunately (or unfortunately if you’re more concerned about wrestling stuff than my physical well-being), there wasn’t really any memorable action on this show. Decent show, but if you missed it you didn’t miss much. SHOW RATING: 6.5 |
By: Jeremy Thomas
WWE SmackDown 05.28.10
QUICK RESULTS:
The Big Show & Kofi Kingston d. Jack Swagger & Drew McIntyre [**]
CM Punk d. Kane [* ½]
Christian & Hornswoggle d. Dolph Ziggler & Chavo Guerrero [* ¼]
Luke Gallows vs. MVP [* ¾]
The Undertaker d. Rey Mysterio [** ¾]
REY REY vs. TAKER: Our main event had a lot to live up to. You know how I know this? Look how many other segments made it into the Right. Luckily they stacked the deck for this main event and put two of the most popular guys in the ‘E against each other…and two men who have worked well against each other before. Taker’s been pretty scarce, other than when he showed up on Raw to make the save thanks to a volcanic ash cloud causing the ref bump. That’s done him good as usual, because he looked more rested than he has in a while and was moving quicker than usual. What surprised me was how much Rey Rey controlled the opening moments. He looked impressive there before he ran into the boot and the Dead Man took over the match. Taker had a more vicious streak that we’d seen from him pre-‘Mania and he beat Rey around the side of the ring before going back inside. I enjoyed the give and take of this match and it ended with a win for the Dead Man which is fine; Taker works well as a threat in multi-man title matches where he doesn’t have to carry the bulk of the match. This ended the show on a positive note and I appreciated that.
DREW McINTYRE & JACK SWAGGER vs. BIG SHOW & KOFI KINGSTON: This match got off to a bad start right from the get-go as Swagger came down to the ring. Listen, I enjoy Swagger as a heel lately and I will admit that he’s doing way better than I thought he would, to my pleasant surprise. However, there is sort of an unwritten rule: repetition of the same sentence that is riling the crowd up works once. It works twice. You could even repeat it three times. Five times is a WEE bit too much, and by the time he was in the ring I was legitimately irritated, not just “oh, he’s being a good heel” irritated. Not a good sign. This of course played off both title matches from Over the Limit, as well as the matches from last week. As a match it wasn’t bad; Drew sold for the faces well during the middle of the match and while Show was a little slower than usual, he looked dominating and strong which is important. This match was a little too poorly paced for my taste; too much fast to slow to fast again depending on who was in the ring and I don’t think the styles meshed that well. I did love Swagger grabbing Kofi’s leg and pulling him back so he hit the match face-first; it looked like it hurt badly and credit to Kofi for taking it like a champ. Things settled in a little better when Drew and Jack were in control; they just seem to fit better than Kofi and Show do. Drew was the right person to eat the pin here and the finish was just fine; I was hoping for too much from this match perhaps but it was a vague disappointment either way.
LUKE GALLOWS vs. MVP: Anyone remember when MVP was considered a prospect? Now he’s enhancement talent. Poor guy. The whole point of this match was to put Luke Gallows over as a threat, and I appreciate the idea of putting him over a name talent…though perhaps not over someone as desperate for a win as Montel. But how do they put him over? By having him box with Luke for the first several moments. Who the hell booked THAT? MVP looked frankly more generic than he has in a long, long time and this was a very sketchy match. Seemed to be a running trend for this show. They weren’t terrible like some of the other matches but this wasn’t particularly good either. It was a lackluster affair that neither men were particularly into, and the only reason this stays out of the wRong is because it gives Gallows a win without Punk there. Of course, there was the mystery SES member but eh. Maybe I’m being generous on this one, but I’ll give it benefit of the doubt since it wasn’t as bad as most of this show.
MORE OF THE CHOSEN ONE/PROBATION MESS: SmackDown kicked off with a video announcement that the Undertaker was coming back tonight, after which the theme video aired and then Teddy Long came down to the ring. Teddy was in a solid dancing mood and got on the mic to announce the Fatal Four-Way match for the World Heavyweight Title at…well, Fatal Four-Way. Jack Swagger and Big Show were already in, and we had a couple qualifiers tonight for the other spots. Teddy made fun of Punk a little which got a little pop from the crowd and got the crowd hyped with the announcement of Rey Rey vs. Taker. It was solid if unspectacular work by Teddy to kick things off.
Of course, we weren’t done yet. Drew McIntyre interrupted Teddy with his walk down to the ring while we saw what Matt did to Drew at Over the Limit. Drew said he should still be Intercontinental Champion and that he only lost because his arm got lacerated, and thus it was Teddy who allowed the match to continue. Drew had a fair amount of boos coming from the crowd at his antics, though I would expect more at this point of the storyline was accomplishing what he needed to. He had another letter for Teddy, and this one resulted in Matt Hardy’s suspension. Yeah, okay. That makes sense. I will give them credit for going in a different direction with this feud and angle, but the crowd isn’t getting into it the way they should. The “Chosen One” thing is wearing very thin and the Teddy Long probation angle got old months ago. In fact, I would go so far as to call the Teddy Long Probation angle the Lethal/Dutt feud of the WWE: once it’s dead and six feet under, they keep on beating it. There was no “bad” promo work here, but I am just not digging on this angle even if it is keeping Drew and Matt busy and in a feud.
THE STRAIGHT-EDGE LUCHADOR vs. KANE: We had a brief segment backstage before this match where a towel-covered Punk was worried about how he looked, and Serena and Luke were being good little lackeys by telling him he looked great. They were trying to build his confidence for the match-to-be and assuring him that he would be fine, and it seemed to work. See? The Society does have value to Punk. So we got Punk coming down to the ring and he had a towel over his head. When he pulled it away, he had a full-on mask on. That’s pretty brilliant. Of course, it’s only a matter of time before he loses it, but in the meantime I love it. Kane was amused by the whole thing as he climbed into the ring and waited for the match to begin. Unfortunately, this was not a particularly good match. Both men were off their game and they just didn’t seem to have it tonight. There was some psychology to their match but the timing was off; maybe it was the mask? I don’t know but I detected problems here, and that was well before the G2S. Kane’s selling was a bit spotty, the crowd was surprisingly dead for this and this just had all the hallmarks of a problematic match. Add in that the G2S was an absolute disaster and poorly edited to boot, and this was a rare wRong match for the Punkster.
DOLPH ZIGGLER & CHAVO GUERRERO vs. CHRISTIAN & HORNSWOGGLE: So, I wonder how this whole storyline was explained to Dolph. I have to imagine that whoever is booking it was cruel enough to have pictures and say “Hey, Dolph. I know you were last seen in a relationship, it was with someone of this caliber …”
“So yeah, that was really hot and all, I hope you enjoyed that. So, remember how that went nowhere at all? Yeah, we’re sorry about that. But we’re going to make it up to you. Now we’re going to begin setting up a potential relationship…and this time with someone who can help your career in-character. We want to have you being hit on—and furthermore, not at all seeming to mind—by this one.”
Now, I can’t be sure, but I’m pretty sure Dolph’s reaction was something akin to weeping softly in the corner. But anyway, I digress. Vickie had a plan for Dolph and a reward: facing Christian & Hornswoggle alongside Chavo. I don’t know why Dolph was happy. Has he seen how effective Chavo is at beating Hornswoggle? So anyway, we got a match out of it. And you know what? It had its moments. One or two. Otherwise it was the waste of time it looked to be. Now listen, I don’t like to gripe about matches involving Hornswoggle. I really don’t. But I didn’t see humor in this. I don’t like seeing a guy beat down and torment someone who looks like a child, albeit a bearded one. Dolph is getting heat off it and I somewhat appreciate that, but there are better ways in my mind. This wasn’t an atrocious match but I didn’t particularly enjoy it, though it is at least nice to see that Dolph is moving on from Swoggle to Christian.
DID YOU KNOW?: Nope. And, as always, I don’t care.
TEAM LAY-COOL EXPLAINS IT ALL: Backstage, Josh Matthews was with the “self-professed” Co-WWE Women’s Champions before he got shoed off. The ladies gave a little annoying girls promo about the history of the Women’s Championship and how they were co-Women’s Champions. There were Vickie Cougar references and talk about how they were champions because it was a handicap match. Um. Okay. This is why I hate silly booking. Layla and Michelle were so freaking annoying here that frankly I just wanted to turn the TV off. But I review these shows, so I didn’t. Sometimes you all are lucky for the fast-forward button. I get what they’re going for with this, but it’s not working. At all. I don’t hate Lay-Cool, I just don’t want to see them.
Wow, SmackDown doesn’t often screw the pooch, but this was certainly one of those times. Nothing outside the main event was particularly good and a lot of it was straight bad. Some people might think I’m being too hard on the show, but I think they took steps in the wrong directions both in match quality and silliness, and that’s not a good thing for me. I hope someone enjoyed this show, ’cause it wasn’t me. SHOW RATING: 4.0 |
From Totally That Guy:
Jeremy, I hate to be “that guy”, but I think it would be spelled “Cenation”.
It’s a clever play on words, you see.
*cough*
From Marky Mark:
It is Cenation, NOT C-Nation!!!!!
I knew it was Cenation…I think that’s how I spelled it the column before. My fingers just had another opinion of how it was spelled, traitorous things.
From Guest#8428:
Good reviews. Thanx for not wasting virtual paper.
Thanks for the compliment, we do try!
From Guest#6928
Great Khali and Singh were paying homage to the great “Putting on the Ritz” scene from Young Frankenstein. At least someone in creative knows the classics.
You know, I haven’t seen that Brooks classic in a while, but I can see the connection. Nice!
From Justin Weinblatt:
How did the Lovitz sketch not get put into “ridiculous”. If any word could describe that segment it is ridiculous.
Because it could have been far worse.
From Vic;
Still hating on everything diva’s in the WWE? They had a decent match, and Maryse pinned the champ, so it did further a story. It is becoming petty to never give the women some credit!
Hi Vic, welcome to the R’s. Also, reread what I said and then let’s try that again. I condemned the people who have the Divas only a few minutes, not the Divas. Good effort, though.
From The Great Capt. Smooth:
Sheamus should come out and go, “MEEP! MEEP! MEEP! MEEP! MEEP! MEEP!…FELLA!”.
That would be awesome.
From BFF:
Your pic of Kong got me thinking. WWE should hire her and use her as Dibiase’s bodyguard. Think Sweet Sapphire meets Chyna.
It would actually not be a bad starting point, at least. They could debut her in worse ways for sure.
From Joe Schmoe:
Has no one seriously pointed out that the masked member is using Cody’s finisher… ? I suppose I could be wrong, though.
Interesting point…but really, who HASN’T used that finisher these days? Just sayin’.
More Trending Stories
- Note On Possible WWE Storyline & Faction For The Creed Brothers (POSSIBLE SPOILERS)
- Tony Khan Weighs In On Warning From Oklahoma Athletic Commission Over Nyla Rose Match
- Backstage Update on WWE’s Plans for WrestleMania 41, Possible Move to March or May
- Jim Ross Recalls Dustin Rhodes Being Fired From WCW For Not Following No-Blood Policy
