The Wrestling 5 & 1 7.31.10: The Million Dollar Queen Vs. The Duchess Of Dudleyville

Posted by Larry Csonka on 07.31.2010

Maryse defeated Maria and will now battle former WWE Diva Stacy Keiber in Vs, discussion of Lance Storm passing on HardCORE Justice, five things you didn’t know about Dusty Rhodes, Mickey Rourke’s Twitter-A-Go-Go, a look at why Tully Blanchard never became world champion, and Lacey Von Erich is your &1 wrestling chick of the week!

WELCOME
Hello one and all, yes, I am back and back again to deliver a news report. Sometimes keeping people around is hard, and when work schedules change, so does the 411 schedule. Anyway, I will be covering the old 5&1 for now and I will try to have some fun with it. I am a big fan of Steve Gustafson over in the movie zone, and he writes a great column called The Hollywood 5 & 1. I look forward to this column each and every week. The format is a popular one, it spawned The Music 5 & 1, and then of course there is the Silicon Valley 10 & 1 over in the games section. So I figured, what the hell, I will give it a shot in the wrestling zone. Enjoy the column!


CHANGE!



Change We Can Believe In!



FIVE THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT DUSTY RHODES

As a child, Dusty battled an ailment known as Osteomyelitis; which is a rare disease that attacked his hips, making it almost impossible for him to walk. He spent years on crutches, but through treatment and an undying determination, he was able to overcome the disease. The only telling sign of the ailment today is that one of his legs happens to be shorter than the other.

He is the son of a plumber.

His Daughter, Kristin Ditto, used to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader.

As an authority figure, Dusty ran TNA out of the back of a pickup truck.

Dusty Rhodes played college football at West Texas State. Other wrestlers that played there include Manny Fernandez, Ted DiBiase, Tully Blanchard and Tito Santana.

And now you know, and knowing is half the battle…


VS.

Now it is time to get interactive. This is the special "VS." part of the column, where beautiful women go to battle to see who is the hottest piece of ass of the week. Last week Maryse defeated Maria, and now, current WWE Diva Maryse will have to step up her game as she battles former WWE Diva Stacy Keibler!





Make sure to vote!

Winner stays! 4 wins gets you to the Hall of Bang!



MICKEY ROURKE'S TWITTER A-GO-GO

* Just brewed some coffee and threw open my curtains. It appears I stole Truckasaurus last night.

* My chihuahua acts like he wasn't out with Richard Grieco, but he smells like Drakkar and desperation. I'm devastated.

* Having lunch with Spielberg today. He doesn't know it though, so I'm hiding in his kitchen with a bag of sandwiches.

* Some chick called Ke$ha challenged me to a dance-off. As she danced around awkwardly, I grabbed her purse and dove out the window. I win.

* I just ordered the Gilded Snapper. The waiter knows it's not on the menu, but he's too afraid to correct me. I'm staring at him right now.

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VIDEO A-GO-GO

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THE FIVE
GET WELL BOBBY: I had something else planed here, but decided that I wanted to use this spot to wish Bobby Heenan well. Yes he will never likely read this, but it's my column. As a child I hated Heenan for being so evil, I hated when he picked on the good guys and always wanted to see him get his ass kicked. When I got older, that hate turned to admiration because it meant that the man was doing his job better than about anyone in the business. The last few years have not been kind to the Brain. He survived a battle with cancer, the recovery from that, and now a fall that has left him with broken bones a long road of rehabilitation ahead. Mr. Heenan, on behalf of the millions of ham and eggers that love and respect you, I wish you a speedy recovery, and thank you for the years of entertainment. Tonight, I watch the 1992 Royal Rumble, and send good vibes your way.

LANCE STORM DOESN'T WANT TO GO BACK: With the news that TNA was set to run an ECW "themed" PPV, speculation ran wild as to who would be working the PPV. We knew some of the names, since they were on TV, Jerry Lynn committed to the show via his website, but other than that, it has bee speculation. Names like Steve Corino and Lance Storm had been rumored for the event. Corino stated that he hasn't been contacted, and would not be working the show. Lance Storm posted on his website regarding the show, stating the following…

"I was asked if I would be interested in taking part in the TNA: One Last Stand PPV. I think it was big of them to extend me the offer, considering my general opinion of the TNA product, and want to I thank them for that, but I will not be taking part. I feel it would be hypocritical of me to work the show, considering my out outspoken views of the TNA product. I have a great deal of respect for the boys who will be working the show as well as the great workers on the TNA roster, but I have no desire to be a part of the TNA creative process. As for ECW, One Night Stand in 2005 was my farewell and am content in letting sleeping dogs lie."

Right away many people bashed Storm, but I will not be one of those people. Personally, I commend Storm for sticking to his guns and not working the show. Storm has been critical of the TNA product, that is well documented. The fact that TNA reached out to him was a nice gesture, which he appreciated, but his personal convictions would not allow him to work the show. Again, I commend that. Storm could have taken the payday, arranged to advertise his wrestling school and got some PPV and possibly TV time out of the deal. The bottom line is that Storm has said that he was done with ECW, and that he would likely never work for TNA. In 2010, the fact that someone is sticking to their guns is refreshing. Storm is happy being a family man, running his school, booking a Canadian Indy, and doing the rare Independent wrestling match. I say good for him.

HULK HOGAN: TV PITCH MAN?: News came this week that Hulk Hogan scored a new deal shilling some infomercial style shit. According to Hogan's attorney, his client wants to be the next Billy Mays. While I don't know about Hogan becoming the next Billy Mays, I feel that this line of work would be perfect for him to move into. Lets face facts, and I am being totally polite here, Hulk Hogan is done. He has had surgeries, he basically blew out his hip in Australia while working the first match of that tour. Hogan picked Flair so that he knew his opponent would take it easy on him, and the work he did in that match was enough to hurt him. We saw him wrestle in TNA, and he really shouldn't have been in the ring. He recently had another back surgery, and reportedly all planned matches for him, namely against Abyss at BFG, are off. Add into the fact that his presence hasn't added anything to TNA, and it is time to move on. Hogan is a talker, a bull-shitter; a man that can talk people into shit. If this allows him to transition OUT of wrestling into a career that will allow him to not get banged up and make a living, I am all for it. For as much as I am NOT a fan of the guy, I do respect his place in wrestling, and I feel that he has given what he could. Ride off into the sunset Hulkster, get some rest, make some bank and bang chicks that look like your daughter.

THE MYSTERY FLORIDA PROMOTION: There has been a decent bit of news on the "Mystery Florida Promotion" going around, so I thought I would discuss that briefly this week. Names supposedly linked to the company as of now are Vader, TJP, Booker T, Paul London, Rocky Romero, Sonjay Dutt, Super Crazy, Hijo Del Rey Misterio and 2 Cold Scorpio. It's hard to tell at this time, due to talent being signed to non-disclosure agreements, but those are some of the names making the rounds, along with some younger, non-name workers. One interesting news item is that some "top, non-contracted ROH talent" have signed with the company. While it is way too early to tell how the "Mystery Florida Promotion" will go at the start, it seems as f they could disrupt the balances of the smaller companies, ROH and TNA. Contracts will not activate until October, so at least a company like ROH would have some time to restructure around leaving talent. For this week I do not want to get too deep into things, as there are not a lot of details, but one thing I want to discuss are rumors of rare incentives that the company is set to offer. Rumors are that he start up company is set to offer health insurance, a 401k, and even stock options in the company. The story is that the money behind the project, Milton Wilpon has pushed for this after hearing some of the stories from older talents about how they have been treated over the years. If this IS true, of course it is a wonderful thing. But right now, we have to consider this a dream. Yes them seem to have financial backing, but we know so little right now, it is just too soon to celebrate. But in a perfect world, it sounds excellent.

LOOKING BACK AT TULLY: To close out the FIVE, we go old school to discuss Tully Blanchard. Tully was the son of Southwest promoter Joe Blanchard, and was his most successful son. Early on in his career Tully tagged with another man that today's audience knows next to nothing about, which is a shame; Gino Hernandez. Gino Hernandez was a gifted guy that likely would have been huge if it wasn't for the drug habit and obviously his death. But Tully and Gino were very successful together, known as the "Dynamic Duo" in the Southwest and won six World Southwest/Southwest Tag Team titles.

Eventually Tully would go on a good run of singles accomplishments in the Southwest, winning the Southwest Television and Southwest Heavyweight titles. This was the beginning of his ascension in the world of wrestling. At the end of 83, beginning of 84 he made his way to a fulltime NWA performer, and even then was called by some the "Ric Flair of the Southwest."

Tully was money in the NWA, notably feuding with Dusty Rhodes over Baby Doll, the NWA TV and NWA National Heavyweight Titles, Magnum TA over the US Title (which culminated in the tremendous I QUIT cage match) and then the rest of the promotion as part of the Four Horsemen. This included two runs as the NWA tag Team Champions, teaming with Arn Anderson.

But with so much success, people always ask, "Why was Tully never the world champion?" There are a few reasons. People always want to talk size, and while Tully was a smaller guy, it wasn't an issue in the NWA at the time, especially with the title runs he had, as well as the strength of the Horsemen run. In my opinion, Tully was a guy the actually suffered as part of the Horsemen in the long run. Some wonder how you can suffer being a part of such an elite group, but it is the truth. It may bean odd statement to many, but considering that he was so much like Flair, and the Horsemen and NWA could only have one Ric Flair, Tully was doomed. Seriously, when can you think of another time that being like Ric Flair was such a bad thing?

Tully Blanchard was a world-class worker, he was gold on the mic and without doubt had the pedigree to be the man in the business. In the end no one can disagree with the fact that his demons cost him in the later years, so we'll never know if he would have gotten that chance, but if he did I think he would have done really well; especially in the NWA setting. A Horsemen separation angle, properly done, would have been money. Tully and Flair break the group in half over their bickering, and run rival groups against each other, with Tully and Ric fighting for the NWA Title would have been money in this writer's opinion.

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& 1

The week's &1 chick of the week is Lacey Von Erich…

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IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE!



End Scene…