News From Cook's Corner 08.25.10

Posted by Steve Cook on 08.25.2010

Serena gets endeavored, ROH re-signs some talent & finds a new place to hold TV tapings, TNA drug tests, & we learn about the evils of alcohol!

Hi, hello and welcome to News From Cook's Corner! I'm Steve Cook, and I had to junk my whole opening to this column as a result of the news that broke just after yesterday's Tuesday Steve-For-All was published. I was talking about how I was drinking Budweiser Select 55 since I didn't want to derail my quest to get back into decent physical shape, and how it was pretty much impossible to get drunk off of it. It doesn't seem very appropriate this week to joke about my drinking habits since other people are getting fired for theirs.

I guess I need to be serious for once about the dangers of alcohol.

It's no secret that abuse of alcohol (and other drugs) has led to the downfall of countless wrestling careers. The key, of course, is moderation. I went through a phase right after college where I got drunk just about every day and caused other people problems with it. Eventually it caught up with me and I had to get myself under control. Don't get me wrong, I still drink from time to time and occasionally I have a little bit too much. But it's nothing like the days where I'd spend entire fantasy football drafts taking shots of bourbon, answer Ask 411 Wrestling questions in a drunken haze or get so drunk at a party that I wouldn't recognize where I woke up...or who I woke up next to. It got old, and I realized that I needed to calm down and accomplish some things before succumbing to my inevitable alcoholism at a later age.

Drinking is fine in moderation, and it's ok to get a little hammered once in awhile as long as you don't cause too much trouble and cause other people too many problems.

And as long as you don't wake up looking like this:



Now who says Lucha Libre can't teach you lessons about life? If you get too crazy with the partying & the drinking, a crazy midget will paint your face and marry you while you're wasting away again in Margaritaville. It's a shame that our girl Rebecca Reyes had to learn this the hard way, but hopefully it'll teach the kids out there a little something about responsibility and staying away from crazy midgets.

Remember kids…moderation!



PWInsider.com reported that Serena was released by WWE on Monday. Considering that she just made her WWE in-ring debut last week (and looked pretty good in doing so), this comes as a bit of a surprise. The scuttlebutt is that she wasn't living up to her straight-edge gimmick outside of the ring. Her partying was reportedly a little out of control, and there were some pictures of her entering a nightclub that made it online. Here are a couple, which don't show anything other than a girl holding a purse and walking somewhere. Hardly scandalous stuff.







I don't need to tell you that by WWE Diva standards this is pretty tame, though the facial expression in the last pic worries me a little. But we've definitely seen worse. Kelly Kelly & a sink say hello. Serena had been sent a message with the skit where she was nearly kicked out of the Straight Edge Society for drinking at the bar, but apparently it wasn't received. Maybe if they didn't like to send their messages through storylines so much they'd get through clearer.

This all brings up an interesting question…should WWE be able to tell their talent what they can do on the road? I can see both sides of the argument pretty clearly. The old school part of me likes it when WWE has their performers living their gimmicks outside the ring just like the old days when men were men and the sheep were scared. I think it'd be pretty jarring to walk into a bar after a show and see the Straight Edge Society throwing back a few tall ones with Rey Mysterio sitting next to them without his mask on. I would agree that a business has the right to tell its employees what to do on the road if they are representing the company.

But, WWE wrestlers are independent contractors, not employees. WWE has been pretty adamant that their show is purely entertainment. So why can't the WWE Superstars live ordinary lives outside the ring like other entertainers? You don't see Keifer Sutherland torturing people when he's not on 24. The werewolf & vampire in the Twilight movies don't act like a werewolf & vampire in public. Though, now that I think about it, it would be pretty funny if they did.

As a Gemini I am often doomed to seeing both sides of an issue and not being able to make a decision. My instinct is to go with the wrestlers, but I can still see WWE's side.

Serena should still have a pretty bright future somewhere, as she's got a lot of talent and now has that WWE experience to get her booked places. As long as this drinking thing isn't a huge deal, I see her doing pretty well. You know, if WWE had her lose the match on last Friday's Smackdown they could have saved themselves a little bit of trouble.

And now, the fake news!


Kelly Kelly & Layla…insert a box joke here.

WWE Chairman Vince McMahon turned 65 yesterday. You know, I was hoping this was the year that I'd finally get the invite to his big birthday party, but no dice.

Skip Sheffield suffered an ankle injury during WWE's show in Honolulu. Specifics on the injury haven't been easy to find, but it's said that Skip might need surgery and should be out for "quite some time". This is a pretty big loss for the Nexus, as Sheffield had broken out as one of the more fearsome members of the group. One of two things will happen here:

1. The Nexus breaks up
2. The Nexus finds new members

I might be a blind Nexus mark, but wouldn't that be a good way to have some of the Season 2 NXT people show up? I'd be down with pretty much any of the top five joining, though I don't think Percy Watson would really fit in with the gimmick. I do think that Husky Harris, Kaval, Alex Riley & Michael McGillicutty could all bring something to the Nexus. If you want some dissention, have whoever wins Season 2 think they're the leader of the group. I'd be surprised if some of the Season 2 people didn't end up joining the group, and if the Nexus is to survive they will need the help.

The KFC Yum! Center in Louisville will be hosting Raw on December 6. I might have to get 411 to send me down to Louisville that week so I can cover Raw & the ROH tapings. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to work for a media outlet that would actually send me somewhere.

WWE Creative team member Joe Francosi has left the company. You may remember Joe as the guy that pulled his eyeball out when Jon Lovitz was hosting Raw. You've been trying to forget it ever since it happened, but I just reminded you of it. Ha ha!

Ted DiBiase has a new t-shirt that says "Everyone Has A Price". Where did he come up with that line? Sounds pretty catchy to me.

WWF Ice Cream Bars were listed by Asylum.com as the #5 Ice Cream Flavor that was doomed from the start. I never got to have one of those…were they any good? Surely somebody out there must be older than me and actually had one.

Of course I watched Warehouse 13 last night to check out my man Dashing Cody Rhodes. Cody was pretty good, but how come nobody told me about this Joanne Kelly girl? Not bad. Of course, I do have a thing for girls from the Maritime Provinces. Ask the Penguin if you can find him.


TNA's #1 priority these days.

TNA IS DRUG TESTING! SOUND THE ALARMS!



(If you really want to annoy your co-workers, turn that up and go to the bathroom. That'll teach ‘em.)

Indeed, the company has been randomly testing the wrestlers during the Impact tapings this week. Boy, isn't it interesting that they drug tested at the set of tapings after Rob Van Dam got to take some time off? I'm sure that's a huge coincidence.

Katie Lea worked a dark match at the TNA tapings on Monday, losing to Madison Rayne. I am all for Katie being back on my television, and if TNA felt like featuring their Knockouts more prominently it'd be great if she was one of them. Christina Von Eerie of AAA & California indy fame was supposed to be trying out, but I didn't see her listed on Monday's results. The rumor is that she'd be managing Ink Inc., which makes sense if you've ever seen her. She's got a couple tattoos. I'd support her signing if she keeps her hair spiky. Sometimes in AAA she doesn't have the spikes and it's just not the same. It's amazing what spiky hair can do for you career...just ask Bull Nakano & Bart Simpson.

The Sandman was not at the Impact tapings on Monday, and the word going around was that he no-showed. I'm guessing that either he got tipped off on the drug testing or he got busy on the way to the Impact Zone drinking beer and never made it in. You've seen the guy make an entrance before. It takes awhile.

EV2.0 seems to be running low on talent, what with Sandman not being around and Team 3D…well, the Team 3D story got a little more interesting than when I originally talked about it yesterday. Turns out that they're another example of people that TNA had contracts for a certain number of appearances and ended up running out before TNA had planned. I can see why TNA would go this route…back in the glory days of WCW you had guys taking oodles of time off and still getting paid mad bucks because they were paid on a year to year basis. By limiting it to appearances, it makes sure that you're getting at least a certain number of dates out of the performer. That makes sense.

What doesn't make sense is constantly using all the dates up and then having to either send them home or pay even more money to keep them around. Ric Flair has reportedly run out of contracted dates and now they're paying him more money because he's part of the Fortune angle and Dixie Carter needs somebody to feud with. Keep in mind that they decided to send their World Champion home for the exact same reason. I guess paying more money to the sexagenarian manager of a group is more important than paying more money to your champion.

Not that I think that Rob Van Dam is any more of a draw than Ric Flair, or that either of them are really making that much of a difference in TNA's public perception. One's a crazy old guy and the other's an egomaniac that thinks that he and Jeff Hardy are the greatest wrestling stars that ever lived. So…take your pick, I guess.

Some people in TNA have been less than impressed with the ability of some of Team 3D's trainees. OK, all of them. They feel that Rosie Lottalove, Jesse Neal & Rob Terry aren't ready for national television and should still be in school. I'm not really opposed to this school of thought, as I think it's better to call somebody up too late than too early. Like I said in the Rs this week, a lot of people subscribe to the theory that once you suck, you always suck. First impressions are a huge deal in wrestling, and if these folks aren't ready they shouldn't be getting pushed. Rosie has left after 1 taping, but TNA management seems much higher on Neal & Terry. We'll see how it goes for them.

TNA hired Al Ovadia as their chief marketing oficer. Ovadia has experience with such companies as Sony, NBC & 20th Century Fox. This is a step up from most of the people TNA hires, who usually have experience with such companies as WWE, WCW & ECW. Not that there's anything wrong with wrestling experience (usually), but I think TNA could benefit from the input of people that haven't been in the wrestling bubble the past couple of decades.

Abyss worked the Impact tapings this week despite suffering from food poisoning. He received props from everybody backstage except the poor SOBs that had to wrestle a guy with food poisoning. Tommy Dreamer was suffering from flu-like symptoms but was still around doing Tommy Dreamer type things.

There has been no progress on the Paul Heyman front. TNA has talked themselves into believing that they don't need him because they had a couple good ratings weeks, and Heyman looks to be more interested in making money off of the StrikeForce MMA promotion. I think this is the best solution for both parties, mostly because I don't want Paul to lose what little hair he has left.

Has he ever cut the skullet? Yes, I mean ever. He reminds me of the kid in my high school that never shaved his face and had an Amish beard by the time he was a junior. I wasn't around for his senior year, but I heard it was pretty glorious. Maybe I'll see him in the Guinness Book of World Records someday.

I'm sorry, what in the world was I talking about?

I was going to talk about Eric Bischoff this week, but instead I'll tell you to go to Honky Tonk Man's website and be on the lookout for a podcast where Honky's going to shoot on Uncle Eric and his recent comments towards the Interweb. Honky has a much better way with words than I do.


WCW had some good times.

Jay & Mark Briscoe have signed new contracts with Ring of Honor. There had been some speculation that the six-time ROH Tag Team Champions would be signing with the Florida Mystery Promotion or TNA, and WWE showed interest in the brothers not too long ago, but they'll be continuing to man up for ROH. ROH also signed Adam Cole & Mike Bennett and said goodbye to "Skullcrusher" Rasche Brown this week. Brown missed the TV tapings last weekend and was pulled from upcoming ROH cards afterwards. I don't know why Brown missed the TV tapings, but he didn't seem too bummed about the situation on his tweeter machine.

Tyler Black is doing an angle on ROH television where he's selling out by going to WWE, and will give the title to Vince McMahon. I don't know where they came up with this one. Don't they know that you have to wait seven years before reusing an old angle? It's only been five, maaaaaaannnnn.

In more ROH news, the company's shows in Louisville's Davis Arena on December 9 & 10 will be television tapings. One of my many regrets from my time in Louisville was that I never made the time to go out to the Davis Arena and catch some OVW. I tried to find the building once, but I went in the direction of their address one day in 2002 and saw nothing resembling a wrestling arena. Maybe a sign would have helped. It's a good looking arena on TV, they can use the current OVW guys as jobbers and ROH desperately needs to get out of the ECW/CZW/XPW/CHIKARA/3PW/WEW Arena once in awhile. I approve of this.

Homicide's first post-TNA appearance will be at the EVOLVE show on September 11. This comes as no surprise since Homicide is one of Gabe Saplosky's favorite people ever.

The Florida Mystery Promotion has reportedly pushed back its startup date to January 2011 at the earliest. Yes, it's always a good sign when an alleged promotion that hasn't run any shows yet and hasn't announced anything is pushing back the date its supposed to start. PWInsider says that wrestlers associated with the project are now wondering if anything will happen with it. Really? They've just started wondering now? I can understand the young guys being naïve, but you'd think the 2 Cold Scorpios & the Vaders of the world would know better than to believe in a promotion that hasn't run any shows, doesn't have a name, and might only exist in the minds of Milton Wilpon & Sean Davis.

Brent Kandra, a twenty-four year old man from Elyria, Ohio, died on Friday morning after being mauled by a wrestling bear while trying to feed it. Brent was a caretaker for the bear, which was owned by Sam Mazola. Mazola used to offer people the chance to wrestle a black bear at the Cleveland Sport, Travel & Outdoor Show, but had faced opposition from the PETA people over it. He has at least nine bears on his residence, which probably wreaks havoc on property value in the area. How would you like to live next to somebody that owns nine bears? It wouldn't be high on my list of things to do.

I have one question about this: How did Stephen Randle miss the opportunity to report news about a wrestling bear killing somebody? You'd think this would be right in his wheelhouse. Has Stephen Colbert declared a truce with the bears?

If you were like me and was watching Lucha Libre USA: Masked Warriors last week and wasn't really sure who the blonde with RJ Brewer was, that was Northeast indy standout Brittney Savage. You might recognize her from her appearance on the November 6 edition of WWE Smackdown, where as Brooke Carter she got squashed by Beth Phoenix. She was number 75 in the Hot 100 a couple of months ago, which makes it kind of embarrassing that I had to ask around to figure this out.

I'll take the opportunity to update something I talked about yesterday...apparently the HWA didn't advertise on television because they didn't need to. They sold out their venue and plan on making some good money via DVD sales. Good for them. I want every wrestling promotion to do well for themselves and they seem quite happy with how they're doing. Hopefully they'll tell me the next time they bring in one of my favorite wrestlers.

Legendary wrestling manager Skandor Akbar passed away last Thursday at the age of 75. After his in-ring career ended, Akbar was well-known in the Mid-South & Texas territories as the manager of most of wrestling's most devious characters. Devastation Inc. wreaked havoc throughout the late 1970s & 1980s. He came out of retirement at the NWA Legends Fanfest in Charlotte a couple of weeks ago to manage his former protégé Kamala.

Jeremy Wood, a twenty year old wrestling trainee from Charlotte, Arkansas, passed away last Wednesday after injuries suffered during training on August 12. Now, the people associated with the wrestling school have denied that they were too rough on Jeremy and they did donate all the gate from their show on August 13, but take a look at this timeline from Rasslin' Riot News and you'll read some disturbing stuff. I always find it sad when something like that happens to a kid that just wants to be a pro wrestler.

Fortunately, there are plenty of places where people can learn to be wrestlers and not have these sorts of things happen.


The Divas have fun in Honolulu.

If I had known it was the 500th edition of the Rs, I would have done something special. Now I feel like the husband that forgets his wife's birthday.

Hubbard ranks the top ten Rey Mysterio matches. #1 is as close to a slam dunk pick as you're going to get.

Triple Threat talks about the Motor City Machine Guns. I'd say they're the best thing to come out of Detroit since Motown. Not like there's a lot of competition…

The TNA TV title is the subject of High Road/Low Road. I hope they plan on having this title defended more often than the ROH TV title is.

Weyer talks about the Undertaker's returns.

Byers presents the second part of his anniversary special, including a match review from your humble correspondent.

Well, that's all we have time for this week! The esteemed JP Prag is in tomorrow, and I'll be back next week with more News From Cook's Corner! Only one shot of Cook next week. Until then…