The Wrestling 5 & 1 8.28.10: Kelly Kelly vs. Velvet Sky

Posted by Larry Csonka on 08.28.2010

Kelly Kelly battles Velvet Sky in Vs, discussion of Serena’s firing and whether Alberto Del Rio is the real deal, Shawn Michaels is happy in retirement, an old school review of Bob Orton and Tito Santana in the AWF, Mickey Rourke’s Twitter-A-Go-Go, promo goodness with Ric Flair and Denise Milani is your & 1 Model of the Week!

WELCOME
Hello one and all, yes, I am back and back again to deliver a news report. Sometimes keeping people around is hard, and when work schedules change, so does the 411 schedule. Anyway, I will be covering the old 5&1 for now and I will try to have some fun with it. I am a big fan of Steve Gustafson over in the movie zone, and he writes a great column called The Hollywood 5 & 1. I look forward to this column each and every week. The format is a popular one, it spawned The Music 5 & 1, and then of course there is the Silicon Valley 10 & 1 over in the games section. So I figured, what the hell, I will give it a shot in the wrestling zone. Enjoy the column!


GUESS WHAT?



"Hey Vince, I'm in your PPV, stealin' all your buys"


VS.

Now it is time to get interactive. This is the special "VS." part of the column, where beautiful women go to battle to see who is the hottest piece of ass of the week. Last week Maryse edged out Layla to claim her FOURTH victory in a row, which puts her in the 5 & 1 Hall of BANG! And now this week, current WWE Diva Kelly Kelly will step into the VS arena as she battles current TNA Knockout Velvet Sky!





Make sure to vote!

Winner stays! 4 wins gets you to the Hall of Bang!



THE BAYANI DOMINGO MEMORIAL HALL OF BANG





MICKEY ROURKE'S TWITTER A-GO-GO



* It wasn't until I reared-back on that Shetland pony that I realized that the bat mitzvah was now ruined.

* All I'm saying is, if getting hit with feces and beer bottles gets you press these days, then my neighbors should actually be thanking me.

* Just found out these panthers I've been trying to mate all day are both dudes. Anyway, who wants to go to the hospital?

* Pulling up to valet park, I'll sometimes do donuts for a good 20 minutes, locking eyes the whole time, just to show them who's boss.

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VIDEO A-GO-GO

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THE FIVE FOUR
Due to a hectic week and the ongoing cardiac rehab schedule, I am doing four this week. You really don't ready this stuff anyway, you just click for the tits. It's cool, I understand.

SERENA GETS THE BOOT: Just shortly after her successful in ring debut, the WWE released Serena (Deeb) of the Straight Edge Society. The WWE didn't announce the release right away due to pre-taping Smackdown, which they have done in the past. The exact reason for her dismissal has not been released, but essentially it was for "not living the gimmick." While t hat is partially a joke, it was disciplinary, and it had been rumored that she was partying too much on the road. When they did the skit a while back, where Punk caught her in the bar, said that she let him down and that he thought about kicking her out of the group was essentially an on air warning, which from WWE, doesn't surprise me. While I completely understand WWE's position here, especially if she had been repeatedly warned, it is a shitty break for Deeb. She is one of the few "real wrestlers" on the women's roster. She came up through the ranks, she traveled, and he has a college degree. She worked SHIMMER and OVW, not under a developmental, and when she wouldn't get a look from WWE, she worked harder and also got a nose and boob job to fit the mold better. She finally got the call, and when WWE asked for a woman to shave her head to get on TV, she did it without a second thought. I felt that she was a great fit for the S.E.S, and had tremendous chemistry with Punk. I was also looking forward to her eventual face turn, because Deeb has this great "1980;s, Jim Crockett babyface fire when she works, and it makes for fun, especially against a monster heel, ala Death Rey. I would suggest that TNA pick her up to help rebuild their Knockout's division, but their roster is so bloated and underutilized that I will just say that I hope she finds a lot of independent wok and returns for the next SHIMMER tapings.

IS ALBERTO THE REAL DEAL?: After a stint in developmental, a de-masking and gimmick overhaul, several video packages that were both hit and miss, Alberto del Rio made his long awaited debut last week on Smackdown and did so in grand fashion. Alberto's bio gave away that WWE, as for now, has big plans for him and they wasted no time as they programmed him with Rey Mysterio on night one. The opening promo segment was pretty solid, I won't cal lit blow away, but it served its purpose to set up the main event of the evening. The presentation of del Rio was very cool, the car, the ring announcer, it all worked to make him come off as a big deal and not the typical "cookie cutter second generation" stuff we have seen for the past few years. As for the match, I wasn't as blown away as some were. Don't get me wrong, it was a fine effort, the lucha stuff was obviously strong and for a man that has primarily worn a mask during his career, his facials were excellent. While the match didn't blow me away, it was a good bout, and again, perfectly served its purpose in getting him over. He more than held his own, and then in a VERY rare occasion, he cleanly submitted a top babyface. THIS is how you have a guy debut if you want him to be taken seriously. In one night they gave him credibility, they put a ton of heat on him and they gave me something to care about. The follow up will be the key here, all too often they have SEEMINGLY strapped the rocket to a guy, only to pull back and ruin his momentum. As for now, I am excited and want to see where it goes.

SHAWN MICHAELS IS SO HAPPY: I have to admit, since the retirement of Shawn Michaels, I have been a sad panda. Watching WWE without HBK, well, it seems incomplete. Whenever a PPV doesn't deliver, or I see a boring Drew McIntyre match I think, damn, I wish Shawn was back, because shit would suck a little less. I would love to have HBK back, but after following him on Twitter and such, I have to say one thing. DO NOT COME BACK SHAWN! RUN AWAY, RUN FAR AWAY! This motherfucker looks rested and the happiest I have seen him in years. He is hanging with his hot wife, he is doing stuff with the kids, he is hunting, he is fishing with Michael Cole, he is making videos wearing a SUMO suit and even one about his new reading glasses. He is being wacky, he doesn't care about how hw looks doing it, he is having fun and to steal a Michelle McCoolism, he is loving life. As much as I would love to have this man back in wrestling, because he is awesome and WOULD make some stuff better, he seems to be one of the few that has adjusted to life WITHOUT wrestling. That is awesome and I respect that. Thanks for all the good times HBK, and rock on goofy Shawn, stay healthy and happy.

FORGOTTEN: TITO vs. COWBOY BOB FROM THE AWF: We're going to go a big old school with the old Forgotten Favorites that I used to do on occasion here. Today we head back to the American Wrestling Federation, founded by Paul Alperstein, which was a promotion that didn't last very long, and overall wasn't that great, but offered something different and at least one good match.

The Match:
Event: The American Wrestling Federation TV Tapings
Type: TV Show
Location: Unknown
Reason for the match: To crown the first ever AWF Champion in a tournament final.

President Paul Alperstein is here with the title belt. He puts over the match and shows off the belt. They announce the special referee…"Jumpin Jim Brunzell!" Brunzell goes over the rules like a boxing announcer with the guys in the center of the ring and has them shake. You kick ass my friend.

AWF Title Finals: Scheduled for 12 Rounds
Tito Santana (4-0) vs. "Cowboy" Bob Orton w/Humperdink (6-0)

Round 1: They circle a bit to begin things. Lots of stalling and looking for an opening here. They lock up and then go to the ropes and break. Tony Atlas is watching on. Brunzell has an electronic score card, because he can't add. Top wristlock by Orton takes Tito to a knee. An escape and into a hammerlock. To the ropes and a clean break. Side headlock by Tito and a takedown again. Orton to his feet, and tries to shove Tito off and he holds on. Orton works to escape, but Tito keeps the pressure on. Off the ropes and Tito takes him down. Side headlock takedown and the time runs out of Round 1 as we see the SARGE watching on.

Round 2: Lock up to begin, go behind by Orton and a clean escape and stand off. Arm drag by Orton into a wristlock. Orton pulls at the arm now and into a mounted arm bar. Tito works out of it, to his feet and off the ropes and Orton takes Tito down. Again. Hip toss and arm drags by Tito and finally back into the headlock takedown. Orton battles to his knees, but back down as Tito puts more pressure on. Tito grinds it in and then rams Orton's face into the mat, covers and gets 2. Tito gets a slam right as the round ends.

Round 3: We start Round 3 as Chris Adams and Pedro Morales are also watching on. Orton goes to the floor for some more time, back in and they lock up. Hammerlock by Orton, reversal by Tito into one of his own. More reversals, Orton into a step over toehold, but Tito reverses and gets a side headlock again. Humperdink complains as Tito grinds that headlock on tighter. Orton to his feet, tries to pick up Tito, but Tito pulls it down into another headlock. A sweet series of reversals are next as they go from side headlock to leg scissors and some other mat holds for about 30-seconds which actually pops the crowd for real. Tito has the side headlock again as the round ends.

According to Brunzell's scorecard, Tito is up 14-13. This is a 5-point must system they have said as well.

Round 4: Orton is beautifully selling his ear from the side headlocks, damn he rules. Arm bar takedown by Orton, cover but Tito with a bridge out and he gets a backslide for a VERY close 2! Tito back to the headlock and takedown. He grinds it more as Orton gets to his feet, Tito walks up in the corner and back into the headlock takedown. Tito is really applying the pressure again as Orton tries to find a way to escape. Tito covers and gets 2. Tito locks it back in now, Orton rolls and tries to escape, but Tito rolls back into control as the round ends.

Bob Orton is a genius as he attacks Tito from behind, Brunzell yells at him but he claims that he can't hear because of Tito working that headlock! Genius!

Round 5: Orton attacks right as the round begins. He drags Tito to the apron and drops elbows on Tito's throat. Suave joins the announce team and annoys me. Back in the ring and Orton with elbows to the throat of Tito again. Orton covers and gets a 2 count. Orton chokes out Tito now and then plays off that he can't hear the ref! Glorious! Elbow drop by Orton, covers and gets 2. Tito back with rights, but there was nothing on them as Orton jacks him in the face. Head butt by Orton and a cover for 2. Tito shot off the ropes, and a sleeper by Orton. Tito fades…and the round ends.

According to Brunzell's scorecard, Tito is up 23-22. Orton was penalized a point for that shot after the bell in Round 4.

Round 6: Tito could barely get to his stool but the bell rings and Orton attacks. Orton gets a roll up with the ropes for 2. Sunset flip try by Tito, Brunzell kicks Orton's hands off the ropes and Tito gets a roll up for 2. Sleeper by Orton now. Jawbreaker by Tito and he gets out. Knee drop by Orton and he maintains control. Orton tries an elbow drop and Tito gets a fist up and jacks Orton! Block by Tito and a right to Orton. Left jabs to Orton and Orton flops into the corner. Corner mount punches by Tito and Orton slumps in the corner. Irish whip by Tito, he charges but Orton gets a knee up and Tito is down. Leaping stomp by Orton, then a knee drop to the back of the head of Tito. Cool neck breaker into the knee by Orton, rather ahead of its time and a cover for 2. Tito fires back with rights as the round ends.

Round 7: Boot by Orton starts Round 7. Tito tries to battle back, and whips Orton to the corner and he is hung up. BIG kick by Tito and Orton gets crotched! FLYING BURRITO by Tito gets 2 as Orton was in the ropes. Knee drops by Tito now, and he pulls Orton center ring and works the knee of Orton. Figure four try, but Orton kicks him off and Tito eats turnbuckle. Orton covers for 2. Running bulldog try by Orton, shoved off and a roll up by Tito for 2. Tito goes up top…MISSES a clothesline! Orton rolls him over and covers for 2. Another cover, Orton on the ropes and Brunzell breaks it up. Boot by Orton, then a nice roll up series with good reversals by both men. They brawl on the mat by the ropes and they stand off and throw wild punches as the round ends.

According to Brunzell's scorecard, Orton is up 32-31.

Round 8: Orton with an eye rake and punches in the corner to Tito. Orton sets Tito up top, then climbs up for a superplex…Tito fights him off and Orton falls to the mat! Tito up top…sunset flip off the top gets 2! They duke it out on their knees. Boot now by Orton, he goes for a piledriver…Tito blocks it and gets a backdrop to Orton! He goes for the Burrito, but Orton with a powerslam gets 2! Side backbreaker by Orton gets 2. Orton argues with the ref, small package by Tito gets 2. Tito off the ropes, FLYING BURRITO! 1…2…3!

Winner and the first ever AWF Champion: Tito Santana via pin @ 3:01 of Round 8.

Brunzell raises his hand as President Paul Alperstein puts the title on Tito.


Match Evaluation:
This was just a glorious match with a great build all through out, excellent story telling and CLEAN in ring action all through out. Old school style at it's finest and they really worked the European Round System very well. Something very different than what you get today, which also adds to its charm.

Final Match Rating: ****

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The week's &1 c hick of the week is Denise Milani…

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IT'S TIME TO SAY GOODBYE!



End Scene…