wrestling / Columns

Hitting The Mark 10.26.10: From Smark to Mark – Part 2

October 26, 2010 | Posted by Len Archibald

Hello, all! I’m not used to having deadlines at the beginning of the week, since my other weekly column goes up every Friday. To be honest, it’s a little depressing that the deadline for this column signifies the mere start of the week. Three days to go…

Did you know I write for the Movie Zone as well? Check out “Around the World in 24 Frames” every Friday! This past week’s column was dedicated to Elem Klimov’s 1985 U.S.S.R. anti-war masterpiece Come and See.

My local independent promotion, WAR (Wrestling and Respect) Wrestling held their “Beatdown at the Dog Pound” show this past weekend at the UAW Hall in Lima, OH. I was unable to attend because myself and the wife hosted our annual “theme” party. Take a guess what our theme is (here’s a hint: check your calendar.) For WAR Show results, click here.

If you want to check out a hard-hitting promotion that is a balanced mix of in-ring goodness and “sports entertainment” spectacle, come down(up) to Lima. The next show, “Cold War” will be held at The UAW Hall on Saturday, December 4th. The main event will be a Steel Cage Match to determine the WAR Heavyweight Champion as Dusty Dillinger takes on Kaden Assad. Also, my personal favorite WAR performer, “Poison” Appollo Starr collides with “Mr. EGO” Cody Hawk in an old-school Indian Strap Match – AND WAR presents its first ever TLC Match! The bell rings at 7:30pm, so stop by and take a chance on an indie show. Even if you live nowhere near the Northwest Ohio region, I feel it is beneficial to any wrestling fan to support their local independent wrestling promotion.

I knew that it wasn’t going to happen, but now that Dana White has officially put the kabosh on any future Brock Lesnar/Undertaker confrontation, I’m a sad panda.

One final quick note: the new Subway commercials where the Kenyan long-distance runners are intimidated by Jarrett training is so gleefully stereotypical and un-PC, it’s glorious. It’s my new favorite commercial – and I don’t have much to choose from because I have TiVo; the single-greatest invention since The ~~blow-up doll~~ ~~pocket rocket~~ Snuggie.

I definitely want to thank all for your comments and emails last week – especially those that stroke my ego. My wife does a good enough job of that on her own, but I’m an unapologetic egotist, so I will gleefully bask in any praise that comes my way.

Nice column, I’m looking forward to reading it every week, and I hope you don’t run out of things to write about. I want to share with you my biggest mark moment. I was 11 years old, and loved WCW & WWF equally…I had a Sting poster on my wall right next to one proclaiming “Hulk Rules!”

It was my a WCW TV taping, and my grandpa had gotten ringside seats, directly behind Jim Ross, who was doing solo commentary. Jim (not JR yet) was incredibly nice and talked to us between matches, but got up to leave just before the main event, which featured Sting challenging the hated Rick Rude for the WCW US Championship.

Sting dominated the whole match, even with Rude pulling out the heelish tactics and Paul E. Dangerously raising Hell on the outside. Right after a tremendous Stinger Splash that laid out Rude and the ref, Paul E. jumped on the apron but was grabbed by Sting, who hit him with a right hand that sent Paul E’s cell phone flying…

…right under the guardrail…

…right between my feet.

I’d seen that cell phone ruin too many matches, I wanted to grab it and run away, so Sting would get the championship he deserved…but I was frozen. Paul E snatched the phone off the floor, and tossed it into the ring, where it was intercepted by Sting! Rude tried to throw a haymaker, but Sting ducked it, smashed the cell phone over his head, and woke up the ref for a groggy three count!

Sting had done it! Sting was the WCW US Champ, and it happened right in front of my eyes! Wait…a second ref comes in…picks up the shattered cell phone…NO! He reversed the decision! Damn him, damn Rude, Damn Paul E…

…and damn me for not picking up the phone when I had the chance. I was inconsolable as I walked out into the freezing January night, thinking I had ruined Sting’s chance at regaining gold.

Sting went on to bigger and better things, beating Lex Luger at SuperBrawl II a few weeks later for the WCW World Championship, which helped ease my pain immensely. Eventually I smartened up, but damn was I a mark on that night.
Posted By: Gypsy (Guest) on October 19, 2010 at 01:05 AM

That is a great story. Damn, played by the good ol’ Dusty Finish – good times. I remember going to house shows in Maple Leaf Gardens and having that same paralyzing feeling of helplessness while engaged in a match. I had the same feeling when Honky Tonk Man defeated Ricky Steamboat for the Intercontinental Title. My world was shattered and nothing could repair it. Ahh, the days of youth!

Is that Kaitlyn in that last picture? DAMN!!!!
Posted By: Guest#3974 (Guest) on October 19, 2010 at 01:57 AM

i lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvve kaiittttttttttlyn
Posted By: yeh (Guest) on October 19, 2010 at 05:34 AM

*grabs pitchfork*
I saw her first, dammit! She’s mine!

1. No heel will ever win a WM main event again. Never. Ever. EVER!

2. I took Triple H’s “your kind” comment to mean “WCW-midcard”.
Posted By: Points (Guest) on October 19, 2010 at 02:16 AM

Point #1: Never say “never” in pro wrestling. Do I think it’s “highly unlikely” that a heel will walk out victorious at the end of a WM Main Event? Sure – but a precedent has been set, and I would not be surprised that someday…decades from now that a wrestler just may be the second heel ever to close WM as the winner. A heel has retained, but will we ever see the day that a heel challenges the face for the title and win? Who knows, but I’m not going to make predictions…

Point #2: Myself and an old friend had this very debate when the “Your kind” storyline came to light. He was extremely adamant over the fact that he felt that Triple H was referring to Booker T’s former WCW status than his…let’s call it “perceived cultural handicap” – and I would have been all for it…if it was ever mentioned. Now, I may be wrong (in my old age I admit that my memory is getting foggy) but I don’t ever seem to remember Triple H or Ric Flair directly pointing out Booker’s WCW-ness as his flaw as a competitor (I mean, couldn’t the same argument be made for Triple H’s MENTOR?), but more his lifestyle and upbringing – and even THEN, I didn’t get the idea that the storyline was about street-smart upstart vs. privileged veteran like the WrestleMania 22 main event between Triple H and John Cena. Who knows…Maybe I’m the racist! Point is, that phase of my life as to how I perceive wrestling is dead and gone (TM T-I feat. Justin Timberlake.)

I thought that it was Angelina Love and not Velvet Sky that was from Canada? And she trained there too.
Although I can understand choosing Velvet Sky over Angelina Love.
Posted By: Guest#5638 (Guest) on October 19, 2010 at 03:25 AM

You are correct, sir as I got my Beautiful People mixed up. You are also correct that Velvet Sky would be graciously accepted as a Canadian Princess if she’s willing to take up that offer. You know why Canadian Dams are rock hard? Cause we got the best beavers!

*Price is Right losing horn*

You can’t “become a mark again”, once you have spent years looking at the business for what it is – people killing themselves while pretending to enjoy it, it’s never the same again.

Wish I never researched the business and just stuck to watching it.

Thanks internet.
Posted By: asdas (Guest) on October 19, 2010 at 07:56 AM

This particular comment depressed me. Not so much for the statement itself, but the idea behind it. While some performers do beat themselves up to the point of death, I can personally attest that the majority of wrestlers I’ve met and known in my lifetime have a genuine passion for what they do, without feeling the need to resort to “killing themselves.”

I think there is a misconception of this column’s point-of-view, so let me take the time to reiterate: I am aware of what happens “behind-the-scenes” (or at least, I’m aware of what I’m “told”) but I choose to not base my fandom on those events. The ideas that I use to spark debate through this column is meant to be understood through the eyes of someone who just looks at the finished product of a wrestling show – the spectacle, the characters and the storylines. The moments that allow us to suspend disbelief for a few hours and just let the insanity and fun of professional wrestling wash over us. Everyone has those moments – we wouldn’t be fans if we didn’t. That’s what I choose to focus on for my column.

And that’s just it – choice. One can “become a mark again”. It’s a matter of choice. As Shakespeare so eloquently put it, “To be or not to be.”

Interesting article. I’m not sure I follow how being a mark helps you deal with the horrors of what happens to wrestlers, though. Surely being a smark means one does recognize that pro-wrestlers are just men, not gods to be worshiped? I’d imagine a smark who’s aware of the drug problems in the industry would feel less devastated by the Benoit incident than a mark who’d totally bought into Benoit as a honorable, tough face.

I think when you compare smark vs mark you’re not really talking about those labels as their traditionally applied, i.e. someone who’s aware of the business of wrestling vs someone who buys into the characters and the storylines. I think you’re just talking about people who take wrestling too serious vs people who don’t. And the former category can include both marks and smarks.

But yes, Kaitlyn is extremely hot.
Posted By: The Awesome Pie (Guest) on October 19, 2010 at 07:31 AM

You may have unlocked the key to the initial inspiration for this column.

It’s the “full-circle” argument, I suppose. I was such a hardcore “smark”, completely convinced in my convictions that Benoit was the alpha and omega in regards to “pure wrestling” that I (and many others) weren’t hip to the fact that even though he is perceived to be this great technician and all around humble good guy, we were – to use an oft-quoted phrase – “worked” by reality. The reality was that even though Benoit was the uncrowned champion of most of the smarkish IWC, none of us knew him personally – yet felt compelled to live vicariously through him. The Benoit murder/suicide shattered that illusion for me and forced me to take a step back and truly contemplate just what in the hell I was being so serious about. All of Benoit’s “accomplishments” and “setbacks”, his “workrate” and everything that encompassed Benoit the performer didn’t directly affect me in any way. His successes didn’t pay my bills, and his failures (or,”perceived failures”) didn’t hinder my personal goals. When that light bulb went off, it was easier for me to take a step back and re-assess exactly WHY I love professional wrestling in the first place. The thing is, even if we don’t want to admit it out in the open, no one performer is bigger than the overall scope and idea of pro-wrestling. Benoit’s real-life, out-of-ring actions challenged me to reconsider my role as a fan.

You are correct that my definition of “mark vs. smark” is more about the level of taking things seriously. The unfortunate catch-22 of the whole debate is that “marks” only take the isolated representation of the scripted show seriously, where “smarks” tend to take the idea of pro-wrestling and the actual production work as a whole seriously. Whereas a mark may hate Paul Bearer for turning on The Undertaker, a smark is more likely to wish bodily harm or worse to a performer based on their individual idea of what they think a wrestling promotion should represent. While both can eventually lead to a delusional, even sociopathic route, the fact that one is a lot more grounded in the realm of “the real world” is a little more frightening.

I’ve grown tired of the same comments/criticisms that are directed to the PERFORMERS personally, as well as attacking the ideal of a professional wrestling show. While “HHHate”, “Fatt Hardy”, and “The Masterpiece of Shit” may have been tongue-in-cheek when first quoted, I’ve noticed a dangerous trend over the years where the anonymous nature of the internet have allowed some truly reprehensible thoughts to be espoused. Now, I’m not against free-speech – one has the right to say what they have on their mind – but I’m not an anarchist, either. There is a level of tact that can be crossed, and I’ve noticed the hypocrisy within some pro-wrestling fans when it comes to that level of tact. They see a segment that features Hornswoggle and make a point that his mere presence devalues their sense of fandom and they cry out how “ashamed” it makes them to be fans…while in the same sentence concluding that his death would make the show better. What those particular fans fail to comprehend is that perhaps the reason the mainstream thumbs its nose on wrestling – and indirectly wrestling fans in general – isn’t so much because of the product but because of the level of fandom itself. I’ve personally chosen to dispell the notion that all wrestling fans are either 1) inbred country-bumpkin hicks who would enjoy this form of carny entertainment because they only have a 3rd Grade education or 2) socially inept basketcases of society; either heavy metal worshipers or basement-dwelling comic-book geeks with intimacy issues, who feel the need to watch two men brutalize each other to justify their cynical outlook on human existence. Wrestling fans in general are neither of these things, and anything we can do as FANS to rid perception of this stereotype, we should.

…and yes, I’m inclined to agree with you agreeing with me about Kaitlyn. Last time I fell that hard for a woman that I’ll probably never meet was when I first laid eyes on Jessica Alba in Dark Angel. My wife is aware that if she ever looked my way I’d leave her in a New York Minute. I have the same deal in place for her and Will Smith.

10. After watching last week’s RAW, I have to agree; yes, a tag-team involving Ezekiel Jackson and Sheamus would be ridiculously awesome in every way. If there’s a reason to bring back managers, that is it. If one can’t see the McMahon-Helmsley Era Triple H influence as The Celtic Warrior bullied and decimated Santino, I don’t know what else to say. I knew Toby Keith was a big guy, but damn, he stood eye-to-eye with Sheamus, and dude is no small fry. Was Keith channeling some Stone Cold with his promo? SANTINO WINS~! Morrison vs. Sheamus? I’m on board!

9. LayCool’s impersonation of Bret Hart and Natalya was train-wreck bad hilarious. Nice to see McCool expanding her in-ring character somewhat. Layla is just hot, so I have no notes other than that. I don’t like to reveal any fantasy booking I do in my head publically, but I would personally would love to see LayCool retain the Divas title until WrestleMania where a returning (Beth Phoenix) or debuting (AWESOME KONG) lady just annihilates one, or the both of them a la The Ultimate Warrior vs. Honky-Tonk Man at SummerSlam. It would be perfect comeuppance.

8. So, we got a Mickie James vs. Victoria feud in the works for TNA’s Knockouts division. I’m game for that.

7. Who the hell would have predicted that of all those left in The Nexus, David F’n Otunga would be the first one to taste championship gold in the WWE? As one half of the (now former) WWE Tag Team Champs with John Cena, I think we’ve seen the beginning of the end for Nexus. I am on board with the *NERD ALERT!!!* Starscream/Megatron comparison that has been floating around regarding David O. and Wade Barrett. I wonder who Gabriel, Slater, Harris and McGillicutty would be? Shockwave? Soundwave? Astrotrain? Thundercracker? Now that Nexus is six strong again (excluding Cena), they’re The Decepticons. NEXUSTATOR~! Good main event between Orton and Cena that showcased some action as well as angle advancement.

6. CM PUNK ON COMMENTARY~! The man wears a D.A.R.E. shirt AND a ChiCubs hoodie. “I should be here every night…” Seriously, give this man more airtime. Are we seeing the seeds sewn for a CM Punk/Daniel Bryan feud? The IWC exploded, and I have to admit that I’m seriously excited for this. The Green Bay audience served as a great, enthusiastic, HOT crowd.

5. Speaking of Dancin’ Daniel, kudos to Bryan and Dolph Ziggler for pulling out perhaps the match of the night at this weekend’s “Bragging Rights” PPV. Most in the IWC (who expands their tastes outside of WWE and TNA) already know what Bryan is capable of regarding his in-ring performance, but Ziggler kept up with him every step of the way. While some have compared Mr. Ziggles to Mr. Perfect, the former Spirit Squad member showed brief flashes that reminded me of “Boy-Toy Sherri-Era” Shawn Michaels at the PPV and the arguably better rematch. Keep it up, and perhaps a well-needed name change will give Ziggler that last bit of credibility needed to move up to the next level.

4. Eve on the mic! Where was *this* woman a couple of years ago? That was the most passionate she’s been in like…ever! *nods heads in approval* Alex Riley bringing out a DRAKE REFERENCE~! (Toronto represent!) “I don’t speak Gucci…” That whole segment that ended with R-Truth vs. The Miz was gold. “The Truth hurts…” CATCHPHRASES GALORE! It’s 1999 all over again! Great, GREAT little match between the two where everyone (Eve and A-Ri included) played their parts perfectly. The Miz’s slow-burn rise to Main Event Stardom continues.

3. Yay to AJ Styles defending the TNA Television title during the latest episode of “Impact”. The Jeff Jarrett/Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle storyline (Ha, you thought I was going to write “…angle”) gives me memories of the Ric Flair/HBK/Batista/Chris Jericho storyline during and after WrestleMania 24 where one narrative bled into another. This is the most interesting Double J and Samoa Joe has been in years from a character standpoint. Color me intrigued.

2. Kaitlyn is still hot. She was just poured in that red dress last night. So, very, very hot. Damn. Hot damn, in fact.

1. From yesterday’s “Wrestler of the Week”:

1) Kane
Okay, can we finally…FINALLY stop putting all these other wrestlers on a pedestal that Kane has honestly….single-handedly been on top of since winning the WHC? Kane, who held the WWE Title for a cup of coffee TWELVE YEARS ago is currently enjoying the fruits of current success via being by far the most dominant world champion in any mainstream professional wrestling organization this year. I challenge anyone…ANYONE to name one wrestler who has dominated The Undertaker the way he has in his entire career. Mankind in 1996/97 came close, Brock in 2002 arguably came closer, but neither of them had effectively made The Undertaker his bitch for basically three straight months. PLUS he’s now somehow intertwined in the WWE’s biggest storyline with The Nexus. Not that it’s going to happen, but does the Big Red Machine need to beat ‘Taker at WrestleMania to finally give him his due? This is the MONSTER push everyone wanted him to have upon his debut. He has it now – respect the Devil’s Favorite Demon.

I know that my views go against the grain of the vocal minority of the pro wrestling fanbase – even butting heads with some of the writers of this very website. That’s fine, and I won’t apologize for who I am or what I like. What I am willing to accomplish is to convey the point that professional wrestling is not the alpha-omega of the universe. It is fun, a form of entertainment and should be treated as such. I can remember when I was a younger lad, posting an insane amount of times about the typical grievances: Triple H holding everyone down, Vince Russo basically destroying everything great about WCW, how Japan, Mexico and the indies were the only saviors of wrestling and how everything sucked unlike the good old days when wrestling was popular and cool.

I thought Dave Meltzer knew more than Vince McMahon. I felt WrestleCrap was a perfect reflection of the state of wrestling and how no one would be able to survive the monopoly that is the WWE. I went through a dark period where I was truly feeling physically ill at what I was watching on the television and was ready to call it quits. Then the light bulb went off. Here are the moments that turned me from cynical “smark” to optimistic “mark”…Part II.

9-11

A phone call from my mother woke me up out of bed. She told me to turn on the television and check out CNN. I had to get ready to work at Rogers Video that day, and so I kept the TV on while I took pages out of DASHING Cody Rhodes’ grooming tips. I saw Tower 1 smoking and the reports of the plane crashing into it. I thought it was pretty messed up, but from the reports at the time, the incident appeared to be a tragedy with an airplane probably malfunctioning. I went to work.

As soon as I arrived at Rogers, I turned the television on (I worked in the “cable centre”, where we sold cable, internet, and cellular packages as well as Blue Jays tickets.) Within seconds of the screen fading in – the second plane crashed. It was a good thing the store was not open as of yet since I let out an expletive. My manager rushed over to the television. We just stood there, silent. Reports of two more hijacked planes was brought to the world’s attention.

As mentioned before, I am Canadian and proud of it. The events of September 11th, 2001 will forever be ingrained in my sub-consciousness because for that one day, and the next few months, it didn’t matter what country I was born in. The most sickening tragedy I’ve ever witnessed in my life happened before my eyes. Thousands of lives were lost. Thousands – who didn’t see it coming, didn’t deserve it, and had nothing to do with whatever point was being made by those who committed this act. Life is too short – nothing more than a speck of dust in the galactic sands of time. There are issues that are more important in this existence: peace, equality, freedom, security and community, than whatever one may bitch about when it comes to professional wrestling. I may have considered myself pretty snarky when it came to this form of entertainment, but this day forced me to re-consider my stance. I had purchased tickets for WrestleMania X-8 by that time with a group of friends and we had no idea what was in store. The post 9/11 episode of SmackDown! was, for me – one of the more cathartic moments of my life. For a couple of hours, I could escape the struggles, tragedies and repercussions of a world that was becoming more violent, cynical and dangerous. Honestly, I would like to see a show of hands from those who spent their time thinking about how the WWF “bungled the InVasion angle” on 9/11. Enjoy what you have today…it can all be gone in a second.

WrestleMania X-8

Which brings me to the most immediate event, and the last “Big” show I attended. I’ve been to Monday Night RAW tapings, house shows and indie events since 2002, but this was the last great spectacle I witnessed live. In my own mind, I think I’ve unlocked the reason why Hollywood Hogan was given the heroes’ welcome in Toronto.

Six months prior, the western world encountered the greatest tragedy imaginable. Only one year into the new millennium, an event occurred that will undoubtedly shape and define my generation. Amidst those horrible moments, it is human nature to look for a hero. Someone or something that defines everything good in this world, and everything positive when we as a human race are able to lace up our boots and endure everything life throws in our way. The last time a truly major wrestling event was held in my birthplace, the WWF granted its audience the opportunity to see two gladiators collide. The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan – from a characterization standpoint – epitomized positivity and possibility. They were the ultimate good guys, willing to fight for what’s right and their beliefs. Growing up as a child of the 1980’s, there were really only two characters who were the embodiment of role models: Optimus Prime and Hulk Hogan.

As a young adult in 2002, I – and several thousand other fans – had a chance to re-live our childhoods again. After the previous events six months back, it made sense to reflect over “the good ol’ days” when good guys were good guys, bad guys wore black hats, there were no “shades of grey” and good always triumphed over evil. If you truly examine the crowd reaction during Hogan vs. The Rock – you may find that while The Rock was gloriously booed, it wasn’t because of some sort of fan-based referendum on his character. No, it was simply because he was being pitted up against our ultimate hero, Hulk Hogan – at a moment in time when we remembered how he was always there to build us up when we needed him. There was no “foreign heel” for Hogan to vanquish; there was no “turncoat” or monster threatening to dismantle the iconic ideology that is Hulkamania, it was simply a matter of “Hogan, you’re here, we REMEMBER how you made us FEEL, and we want to RE-LIVE that again.”

So for thirty-seven of the most glorious minutes of my life, I became a willing participant in the resurrection of Hulkamania, and by doing so – forgot about “workrate”, “storytelling”, “steroids”, “backstage politics” and the “burying of talent.” Hogan vs. The Rock wasn’t a match – it was an event; a communal conglomerate of the most heartfelt emotions where we as wrestling fans remembered and re-created the passion felt as children when Hogan pinned The Iron Sheik, when Hulk accepted the challenge from Andre the Giant on Piper’s Pit and eventually body slammed him at the Pontiac Silverdome – when he smacked DiBiase with the chair and helped his best friend win his first WWF Heavyweight Title; when Hogan took the title from that turncoat Sgt. Slaughter, the time where he met DiBiase’s proposal to buy the WWF Title with “HEEEEELLLLLL…NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

All of those moments were projected in one night by a slew of fans that just let the atmosphere carry them away. Even though some want to take a dump all over Chris Jericho vs. Triple H for the Undisputed Title and base their own opinion on the match based on the non-reaction of the crowd – take it from someone who was there – it’s not that the crowd wasn’t excited, it’s just that we were EXHAUSTED. WrestleMania X-8, and specifically Rock vs. Hogan is still the single best wrestling – or live performance experience – I’ve ever had.

Days of Our Lives

On the surface, this makes no sense whatsoever. Please give me a moment to explain.

In 2003, I met the woman who would eventually become my wife. One of her big obsessions is Days of Our Lives, that famed NBC soap-opera. Now, as the only male sibling, I grew up with soap operas all around me. My knowledge of Victor Newman is based on the fact that my mother and sisters never missed an episode of The Young and the Restless. I know that my grandmother taped episodes of All My Children for my mother to watch when she came home from work. I can willingly hand in my “man card” just for the sad that I actually remember snippets of Luke and Laura’s wedding on General Hospital. What a sad life.

But enough of my emasculated childhood and back to the topic at hand: while dating and during our engagement, my future wife would go out of her way to keep me up to speed on the daily lives of the Brady’s and their struggles amongst each other and the seemingly evil DiMera and Kiriakis family. At first, I would hold a bemused shit-eating grin, pretending that I would even be remotely interested in such contrived and over-the-top tripe. Something extremely strange occurred in our first year of marriage.

Now, remember that I met my wife in 2003. Months previously, I watched WrestleMania XIX with a few friends of mine at a bar. A good chunk of us were former WCW fans – no, strike that – a good chunk of us were Anti-WWE fans and would go out of our way to reminisce over the good ol’ days of the “Monday Night Wars” and some of our favorite WCW moments and stars. One of those was Booker T, who looked to be groomed for a WWE Championship run. It was elementary: Booker T and his rival, Triple H were on a collision course to meet each other in the squared circle. The storyline was that Triple H held a firm grip over the World Heavyweight Title that was awarded to him when the Brand Split began in 2002. He beat all comers – even though admittedly, most simply weren’t at the peak of their careers. Booker T, though – was, and from his WCW catchphrase, “Don’t hate the playa…Hate the Game”, it seemed almost as if the stars would align for Booker to meet “The Game”. Triple H made it very clear, though, that Booker’s “kind” didn’t win championships.

“Your kind…” What in the hell did that mean? As a “man of color” (ugh), and from the reactions of my other friends, whether they were of an ethnic background or not, we were 100% certain that the WWE was playing a “racial angle”, where Triple H was the overconfident WASP who needed to be taught a lesson by the hard-working, street-smart Booker T. It was like when the Olympics was held in Munich and Hitler claimed that the event would show the dominance of White Supremacy…Before Jesse Owens served mien fuehrer with a nice helping of STFU. It seemed like it was a cut-and-dry storyline. It was written for Booker T to win. Fast forward to a pedigree, a 30-second delay and a pin.

I’m not even going to get into the reaction at the bar that evening. Let’s just say that if it wasn’t for Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle, this would have been my swan song with professional wrestling.

Months later, I met my wife and we hit it off. She knew I was a wrestling fanatic – even though I was at my “smarkiest” and my fandom was waning like never before, it was still there. I knew she was obsessed with Days of our Lives. She made a side comment that I didn’t register until years later: “Oh, so you watch soaps like me!” That comment didn’t really take a hold over me until that first year of wedded bliss.

I will admit at this time that my neurosis is rivaled only by Woody Allen and Larry David. I tend to over think the most mundane incidents, then over think them again until it morphs into some strange cosmic philosophy pertaining to human existence and our dance with the laws of the cosmos. Since being exposed to five days a week of Days of our Lives, I’ve noticed a terrible – TERRIBLE parallel in regards to professional wrestling, the characters, storylines and even the emphasis over which performer is more “important”. There’s basically the main storyline; the all-encompassing tale where all the major characters are somewhat entangled in, like the kidnapping of Sami’s baby or The Nexus. From this, we know who the main characters in this storyline are. In Days of our Lives, the main characters are Sami Brady and E.J. DiMera, the parents of the kidnapped child. When it comes to the Nexus storyline, John Cena and Wade Barrett are the two main opposing forces.

Would you like to take my Man-Card now or later?

From that story, a bunch of little stories revolve around it. E.J. plotted to have the baby kidnapped, and hired Nicole to do so, but Sami’s old flame, Rafe got wise to the entire plan. The Nexus has their hands in almost every revolving storyline on Raw: Daniel Bryan’s “remorse” led to him being exiled from the group which had him come back at SummerSlam for revenge. This enraged The Miz, who was his pro on the first season of NXT – and resulted in the Miz feeling slighted by Team WWE. Speaking of which, Edge, Chris Jericho, John Morrison, R-Truth and Bret Hart had to learn to co-exist with Cena to take out the Nexus threat. They had a truce with WWE Champion Sheamus, who was feuding with Randy Orton over the title. They took out Bret Hart which led to his departure as GM of RAW. This led to Vince McMahon hiring the “Anonymous GM” whose emails Michael Cole loves to read. Nexus was also the starting point of Cole’s heel mannerisms, when he began railing on Bryan on season 1 of NXT. The Nexus also wound up taking out Vince McMahon. They took out The Great Khali for a while. From there, the results that come from the end of this storyline will wind up shuffling who is important on the card. When the “season” or main storyline from Days of our Lives ends, new events will emerge with the characters and their importance to the show will be shuffled by the writers.

Now, you’re probably reading all this and are saying, “this is the single most silliest shit I have ever read.” I agree with you. It is. It is completely silly and contrived and over-reaching. THAT’S THE POINT. Professional wrestling is as silly and contrived as anything we watch in a movie theater or on the television. Should we, as wrestling fans put ourselves on some sort of cultural pedestal over those who watch and enjoy Jersey Shore? If you actually think about it, those fans probably look down on US – and as current ratings show right now, there’s more of THEM. Kind of ridiculous, isn’t it?

Professional wrestling has its place in the world. Despite what some may want you to believe, it isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Even if the absolute worst thing happened, and WWE or TNA went out of business, just think about how many other wrestling organizations would step up. Here’s the catch of it all: it’s a cycle – as long as there are performers who get their kicks off of popping a crowd or making them boo until their throats are sore, and as long as there are fans who are willing to pay money or attend a show where they can do just that, wrestling will always be around. No matter how much one may try to place it on some sort of pedestal that represents some sort of grand cultural worth, professional wrestling is nothing more than a series of shows that are meant to entertain a live audience. There will be some matches, there will be some promo work, there will be some beautiful women and there will be some over-the-top shenanigans. Some of it will be completely crass and tasteless. Some of it will bring fans to a high no recreational drug or glass of liquor could ever duplicate – but when push comes to shove, your enjoyment of professional wrestling is YOURS.

One of the great things about the internet is that it has made our world smaller, closer and more intimate. We as wrestling fans truly need to take hold of this. For the first time since the idea of gladiators competing for the simple, basic adoration of the crowd, we have choices. One no longer has the obligation to stick with something that doesn’t excite, and I don’t understand why anyone would. I used to trade tapes and magazines with friends. Now, almost every wrestling promotion from around the world is at my fingertips with the click of a mouse. There are literally thousands of promotions that are in need of an audience, and there are millions of fans who are in need of something to cheer for.

Boo John Cena. Cheer John Cena. Boo or cheer Randy Orton. Express yourself however you need to, but understand that your expression is an extension of the form of entertainment you love. If you treat this industry with a snarky attitude and holier-than-thou mindset when it comes to workrate, image impression, audience size, demographic, corporate structure or nationality – please don’t be surprised when you are met with that same attitude from outsiders. I don’t think professional wrestling is perfect – but I also don’t treat professional wrestling like it should be perfect. That’s where I get the fun and my “mark” point-of-view. Professional wrestling wouldn’t be what it is without the absolute silliness of things like The Dungeon of Doom, Roddy Piper painting half his body in blackface, Katie Vick, Warrior in the mirror, The Shockmaster and NXT Season Three. It helps us to truly appreciate those moments that seem to transcend our fandom:

The Freebirds vs. The Von Erichs; The Four Horsemen; ECW; Hulkamania; The n.W.o.; Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe; The Ultimate Challenge; Savage vs. Steamboat; “The Trilogy”; Hart vs. Austin; The Attitude Era; “OH, YOU DIDN’T KNOW…?” “THIS ISN’T SING-A-LONG WITH THE ROCK!“, “Everybody’s got a price!” “Rest. In. Peace.” “HBK has left the building!” “You want a war? You got a war!” “One, two, THREE HE GOT…no he didn’t…” “It’s pandemonium!” “It’s my first day in Washington and I get to see BUSH!” “WHATCHA GONNA DO…?” “The boyhood dream has come true…” “Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!” “Welcome to RAW. IS. JERICHO!” “With a tear in my eye, this is the greatest night of my life…” “HISTORY BECKONS THE MACHO MAN!” “I’ve dined with kings and queens…” “As God as my witness, he is BROKEN IN HALF!” “Turn out the lighhhts…The party’s OOOOOOVERRRR!” “I want all you fat, pathetic pieces of trash to keep the noise down, while I take my robe off…” “Perfect, Absolutely. Perfect.” “Big Poppa Pump’s your hook up…!” “Slapnuts!” “POUUUNCE~!” “Ohhhhhhhhh…WHAT A RUSH!“

Then I look at my nephews and nieces and see the look on their faces when they’re met with those same feelings. That is what wrestling is to me. That is why I am a proud card-carrying member for the “marks”.

Sue me. I’ll be at ringside, cheering and booing the loudest and having the time of my life.

The following is a WrestleMania montage – but it perfectly encapsulates all the highs one can get from being a fan. No other form of live entertainment gives me that sense of childlike wonder that professional wrestling brings. Enjoy…Hope there are some good memories in here for you.