wrestling / Columns
The Wrestling 5 & 1 11.13.10: Mickie vs. Madison
What’s up to all my DeMarcouts in the house! Well, we’re not all “in the house” together…but if you think of the internet as a collective house…oh nevermind. Welcome to the damn column. NOW BRING ON THE GIRLS!
Mickie James got the easy win over Cookie last week. Cookie has a good future ahead of her, but as a newb she was simply overmatched. Mickie goes for her third victory, but she takes a step up in the difficulty department this week…
…with one of my favorite DeMarcouts–errr…I mean Knockouts, Madison Rayne!
Hmmmmm…Mickey…Madison…
MMMMMMMadison…MMMMMMMickey…
…Decisions, Decisions!
Take a second to vote in the comments section below, buy only after you read the column! Yeah, I’m looking at you sitting in your parent’s basement at your computer in your boxers! And don’t forget, four straight victories wins your favorite girl a spot in “The Wrestling 5&1 Hall of Bang!”
Regal nearing retirement? During the WWE tour of Europe, William Regal addressed the crowd, thanking them for all of their support during his 27 year career, and stated it’d be his last tour of his homeland. This was originally reported as Regal’s retirement, but fast became a mere indication of him hinting at retirement. Regal is 42 years old, only one year older than Triple H & Batista, three years younger than The Undertaker, and nearly 20 years younger than Ric Flair. During his 27 years, he’s held over sixty championships (20 in the WWE/WCW), and of course one King of the Ring crown. Even more impressive than his 27 years in professional wrestling is his 24 years of marriage (despite all that time on the road), where he has three sons. Future WWE superstars? You never know.
If those sons do choose to enter the sport, they’d have one hell of a trainer. Among the list of wrestlers he’s trained are Chris Hero, Brian Kendrick, Samoa Joe, CM Punk & Daniel Bryan. He’s rumored to be entering a feud with Bryan, which could very well be his last (and possibly how he wants it–more on that possible storyline in a point below).
Personally, I hope he sticks around through one last WrestleMania match, where he can retire after a performance on wrestling’s largest stage. Regal eventually clarified his speech to say he doesn’t have a set retirement date, via Twitter.
“I’m having a great tour and wrestling Daniel Bryan has made me realize that unless I can keep up to that standard it’s possibly time for me to start winding down. I said it might be my last tour the other day not that it was. I would like to continue with quality and not quantity. Take care.”
That said, how do you want Regal to go out? I can think of a great way. Losing to The Undertaker at WrestleMania 27. Outside of John Cena (due to stature & seniority) or maybe Wade Barrett (due to potential and push), Taker doesn’t have any credible opponents for ‘Mania who could conceivably end the Deadman’s streak–if it’s even ever going to end…. Regal has proven to have the promo chops to hang with anyone both in the ring and on the mic, and I believe that Regal could drive a program with The Undertaker and carry an excellent match between both veterans, riding off into the sunset in defeat.
Once Regal is done with in-ring competition, I doubt it’s the last we’ll see of him. He’s too good not to be involved somehow, be it an on screen persona (possibly returning as a General Manager or on commentary) or backstage as an agent or trainer. I’ll always wonder what type of push was planned had Regal not been suspended after his King of the Ring victory. Regardless of how or when Regal hangs it up, the wrestling world is a better place because he was a part of it, and hopefully will continue to improve due to his contributions outside of the ring.
You Decide: How do you want to see William Regal go out?
With Regal’s career eventually coming to a close (aren’t they all?), the hope that we get a run against Daniel Bryan is definitely going to gain momentum. Regal trained Bryan at Memphis Championship Wrestling, and they had a match that gets passed around every so often.
WWE provides a rare glimpse into the wrestling crystal ball: The Wrestling Observer Newsletter recently featured some information regarding future WWE storylines. Jeff Small shared them in his latest (and LAST!) Small For All News Report. Let’s have look at some of the major points:
People in the WWE are hoping that Nexus will win all of the championships. Barrett would be the World Heavyweight Champion while David Otunga would win the US Championship
“People” could mean anyone. Well, anyone who is a person. Who are these people “hoping?” You’d think their employees all know it’s fake, right? Yet they’re “hoping.” Well, if their hope comes true, I vote for a different US champion. “A-List” doesn’t really do it for me, I’d prefer a ready Mike McGillicutty or even Justin Gabriel (and this would allow the Freebird rule to make a comeback!). Criticism aside, this is the WWE wanting to make The Nexus a dominant force. I’m okay with this. They are building stars with The Nexus, I see no reason to stop.
Randy Orton is the odds on favorite to win the Royal Rumble
This makes total sense to me. There’s a good chance Wade Barrett will be the WWE Champion when the Rumble rolls around. There’s a good chance John Cena is a heel headed down a path towards The Undertaker* when the Rumble rolls around. Who else should win? Outside of someone new, like an Alberto Del Rio, or possibly Sheamus, Orton as the Rumble winner is actually a logical choice. He’s on an insane face run that’s likely to continue through ‘Mania, where he likely goes over Barrett to regain the WWE Championship.
*Remember that random Nexus attack on The Undertaker at Bragging Rights? If John Cena turns heel and reveals that he was in with Nexus all along, just how random was that attack?
CM Punk likely out of his feud with Daniel Bryan due to injury, William Regal likely in
First off, I love that we’re discussing who Daniel Bryan will feud with next. I remember how little faith we all had in the WWE to use him properly when he was signed–myself included. I’m so glad we were wrong. I was thoroughly looking forward to a Punk-Bryan feud, and I’d imagine we’ll still get one in the future. But with the aforementioned possible retirement of William Regal, a feud with Daniel Bryan seems like such a great way to go out. It would be entertaining to the fans, special to both men, and memorable for everyone. And with Punk’s return in a few months, it allows for the Punk-Bryan feud to culminate at WrestleMania. Imagine that ROHbots, CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania.
You Decide: Let’s take a page out of another 411Mania article here. Buy or Sell members of The Nexus wearing all of the RAW gold.
Five Things You Didn’t Know About…Miss Tessmacher
1. Tessmacher is currently a part-time waitress at Hooters (along with her obviously high paying TNA gig).
2. She has a TWIN SISTER! Imagine TWO Miss Tessmachers…Extreme Expose would have been even better!
3. Real name Brooke Adams, Tessmacher owes her TNA name to Lex Luthor’s personal assistant (and girlfriend) in the original Superman movies. But you geeks already knew that!
4. She was in the music video “Throw It On Me” by Timbaland.
5. She has appeared as a model on such shows as Ritmo Deportivo & G4’s Street Furry
Want more Tessmacher? There’s a special “easter-egg” link hidden somewhere in this week’s 5&1. Find it. You’ll be glad you did.
You Decide: Does Miss Tessmacher/Brooke Adams have what it takes to contend for the Hall of Bang?
Bryan Alvarez recently penned a column for Figure Four Weekly that was shared via Facebook by Gabe Sapolsky. The column was actually outdated when Gabe shared it earlier in the week (column is dated 10/19), but the content is still very applicable. The article can be found here. Alvarez makes some major points. He touches on the perceived lack of awareness for TNA, the reality that people consistently give up on TNA, and the cause of that rotating door of fans being the booking. Being your 5&1 party host, these are items that I’d like us to discuss. That’s right, when we’re done looking at boobies, we discuss!
The perceived lack of awareness for TNA
Alvarez points out the TNA Impact the night after Bound for Glory pulled in 1.9 million viewers, the most since January 21. And on January 4 at 9 PM eastern, 8.329 million people were watching RAW & Impact combined. That’s more than the 7.6 million that were watching RAW & Nitro on October 16, 2000. Also, he notes that the January 4 Impact was seen by 2.9 million viewers, and the second week of Smackdown on SyFy was seen by 2.6 million viewers. That is a lot of numbers, but it’s done to really prove one point: there isn’t a lack of awareness for TNA.
Then Alvarez follows it up with one of the funniest lines I’ve seen in a while (even if it does hurt his credibility somewhat): “The bottom line is that the issue is not that people don’t know TNA exists. The issue is that there are a lot of people that know it exists and think it sucks.”
The reality is that people consistently give up on TNA
Early in the article, Alvarez points out that about 1.5 million people watch TNA each week. The week after Bound for Glory, an additional 600,000 people watched Impact. He also notes that TNA attributed it to the appearance of J-Woww, but it turns out that her segment was the lowest of the season. He attributes the increase to the general post-PPV buzz around Bound for Glory, plus the added interest due to the Jeff Hardy title win and the formation of The Immortals. He postulates that these are former viewers who came back to Impact to see the current product, with the hope that such a dynamic roster could start to put on entertaining programming.
He then makes a great point. Impact continually loses viewers throughout the show. RAW will lose viewers over the 2 hours, and get a bump for the main event & overrun. On this particular episode of Impact, Mr. Anderson faced Rob Van Dam for the Turning Point shot at Jeff Hardy, and the main event slot and overrun into ReAction continued to lose viewers. Check out this quote to really drive the point home about losing viewers: “Celebrating over the biggest rating since January misses the most important point about this show. It is such an important point that TNA ignoring it is the biggest example of why they have no chance of success with the current group of people in charge. The fact is this: TNA did its highest rating since January because 600,000 new viewers decided to give them a shot after Bound for Glory and Jeff Hardy’s heel turn. By the time the show was over, statistically, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WAS GONE.”
Assuming this, how can Impact continue to build a viewer base over their normal 1.5 million viewers, and start to snowball into a larger following?
The booking is to blame for the consistent loss of new viewers
When the Monday Night Wars restarted, TNA gained about a million viewers. Based on the numbers, all of them are gone. Then Alvarez makes another great point. Every episode of Impact loses a significant percentage of viewers at 10:15 PM eastern, and they never come back. Check this out: “Thursday’s Impact rating fell off at 10:15 p.m. and never recovered. Guess what happened on October 7th? Same thing. Show fell from a 1.44 at 10:15 to a 1.32 and never recovered. September 30th? Fell from a 1.25 at 10:15 to a 1.21, then to a 1.10 and a 1.08. September 23rd? Fell from a 1.06 at 10:15 to a 1.04, then down to a 1.03 and a 1.0. September 16th? Fell from a 1.33 at 10:15 to two straight 1.12s and a 1.10 to finish.”
That’s a pretty consistent loss of viewers, always after the same segment. Now, RAW admittedly has viewer fluctuations from week to week (admitted by Alvarez as well), but it’s still one of the highest rated shows on cable despite being faced with Monday Night Football. So TNA celebrates the fact that 2.1 million viewers tuned in for the post Bound For Glory Impact, but ignores the fact that only 1.6 million stuck around after giving TNA another chance.
You would think TNA’s bookers and writers have access to this information, and I’m sure they do. Why don’t they make changes? Eric Bischoff likes to say that we need to get used to what TNA is doing, and that we need to stick around to see what twists and turns The Immortals angle has. Truth is, Bischoff doesn’t even know what those twists & turns will be! He said it himself, when he said that not much is ever planned with Jeff Hardy, they let him go out there and work his magic. Is that really the kind of booking you want to employ?
Alvarez is a self professed TNhAter. I am not. He admits that he wants TNA to be successful, and knows it’s good for the business as a whole–including his own business. I’ve gone on record here saying that I’m not a TNhAter. I enjoy elements of TNA, and think they have some seriously talented performers. Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Kazarian, Beer Money, Desmond Wolfe, Doug Williams, Jay Lethal, D’Angelo Dinero, Mr. Anderson, Matt Morgan, The Motor City Machine Guns, Generation Me, The Beautiful People, Madison Rayne, Sarita, and many more are some of the most talented wrestlers in the world. That’s one hell of a roster to build around. Not to mention released talent from this year like Christopher Daniels, Eric Young, Cheerleader Melissa/Raisha Saied & Awesome Kong. It boggles the mind why they continue to focus on EV2.0 (although that seems to be dwindling) and felt the need to build The Immortals. If TNA focused on what was different about them (the X-Division, having a talented women’s roster, matches like Ultimate-X) they could take that same 1.5 million viewers that consistently stick around and build from there. That’s why I liked the 6-sided ring. When you’re competing with the WWE–who isn’t a wrestling company, they’re a multimedia entertainment giant–there are times when you need to be different for the sake of being different. But those in charge of the creative direction of TNA insist on trying to do what the WWE does and do it better. Problem is, they can’t. In my opinion, TNA won’t improve–won’t “turn the corner”–until they make some wholesale changes in their creative direction. That means Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan need to go.
Article info credit to The Wrestling Observer.
You Decide: What is wrong with TNA… Is it the booking? Is it the talent? Is it going against the WWE? Is it us?
Shawn Michaels (shawnmichaels_): “I was gonna tell ya 2morrow on the way. But sum 1 blabbed. Yes,HHH & I r going 2 ATL. 2 promote Wrestlemania, tomorrow & Fri.” … “Easy on the hoping. Its very simple. They asked & I said yes. I will always help the WWE when I can. It will alway b home 2 me.”
Two reasons to hate Twitter: 1) The character limit makes people cram too much into a post, making them sound like idiots. But that my prob 2 fgr out 4 myslf. Oh, and 2) It causes people to freak out and think
Shawn Michaels is returning. I do think he gets the Hall of Fame nod if Sting doesn’t/can’t/won’t. Anyway, have fun going 2 ATL 2 promote Wrestlemania tomorrow & Fri Shawn!
Kevin Steen (killsteenkill): “I miss Adam Pearce, Jimmy Jacobs and Ray Charles. I also miss the ROH tag titles but I won’t for much longer! TO is only a week away…”
See, here we go again. I’m sure he just misses hanging out with Pearce, but what will the IWC and ROHbots read into this as? “Oh my god, Kevin Steen HATES Delirious’s booking. He wants Pearce back!” Maybe he does. Or maybe he just wants to have a beer with the man.
Chris Jericho (IAmJericho): “Just left the doctor. I strained my rectus abdominus on the last Fozzy tour. That’s Rock N Roll!!” … “For all of you with your mind in the gutter, Rectus Abdominus is a pulled ab muscle…”
Jimmy Jacobs (JimmyJacobsX): “You’re like 7 years old, little girl in the grocery store. Who are you possibly texting?”
Umm…probably her 7 year old friend?
And of course, Joey Styles (JoeyStyles) just loves taking a few shots at TNA, and also at the WWE itself…
“What’s the big deal about being able to see “Old School WWE”? It’s on TV every week. It’s called TNA.”
“Josh is poking holes in the logic of the Bellas’ storyline? How about, why did Nexus help Kane bury Undertaker and wrestle Kane last week?”
(During NXT) “This isn’t exactly riveting but it’s better than every meaningless promo segment on TNA.”
“Why are people shocked by my controversial tweets about WWE Chairman and CEO? How soon people forget who I really am ;)”
Styles goes on to share a video to remind us just who he really is. Now, the WWE.com version he shared is a little edited, for PG sake. That’s why we have YouTube…
Speaking of Twitter, follow 411Mania on Twitter (because I want Ashish to like me…)
Twitter.com/411Mania
Twitter.com/411Wresting
Twitter.com/411MoviesTV
Twitter.com/411Music
Twitter.com/411Games
Twitter.com/411MMA
Twitter.com/411Boxing
Twitter.com/DemarcoLives – that’s me!
It’s True! It’s Damn True! Quick hit for The Two this week, but it’s pure gold. Kurt Angle issued a Facebook statement earlier this week to address those who keep asking if he’ll return to the WWE.
“A lot of you want me back in WWE. I appreciate your kind words. I love TNA but anything is possible Dixie Carter has been wonderful to me. She cares about my well being. That means more to me than anything. So I would never count out WWE, but TNA is my loyalty right now.”
This is the true definition of loyalty in professional wrestling. I love how he goes from TNA loyalist to wrestling opportunist and back multiple times on one little statement. To quote Connecticut Yankee at the start of the original DX theme song, let’s BREAK IT DOWN!
1. I love TNA – loyalist
2. but anything is possible – opportunist
3. Dixie Carter has been wonderful to me. She cares about my well being. That means more to me than anything – loyalist
4. So I would never count out WWE – opportunist
5. but TNA is my loyalty right now – loyalist
I love my wife but anything is possible. She’s been wonderful to me. She cares about my needs as a person, father and husband. So I would never count out that redhead at work that keeps telling me that my wife is “such a lucky woman” and winks while she says it, but my wife is my loyalty right now.
Basically, the only thing Kurt forgot to mention is the number of voicemails he left for Vince McMahon the last time his contract was up.
“And Greg, I hate to tell you this, but I wrote both of the comments you printed this week. I am just sick of what wrestling has become and was wanting to vote for Mickie.. but both me, and you can just call me, “That guy from Austin”
~That Guy From Austin
TGFA (as you’ll be known from now on), please keep participating. You offer a good perspective, and I like to have different perspectives involved. Thanks again for sharing.
“As for Orton, rightnow a sly wink to the crowd is fine, but lets see how far he tries to push the charm; his performance on Raw kept within the boundaries of the tweener character acknowledging that the fans are on his side however, if Orton tries to get on the fans side, then that is a different matter. The biggest blunder with Christian Cage’s face turn in 2008 was changing his prick character to a gorvelling apologetic face, thereby damaging what could have been the best tweener run in modern pro wrestling; let’s hope that the WWE do not make the same mistake that TNA made with Christian. We know that they will do so let us just enjoy Randy as the viper whilst we can, before we have to settle for the grass snake.”
~Guest#8265
You’re 100% spot on. The reason the fans turn certain heels face is because they love where the character is at. If you want to turn a face into a groveling apologetic wimp, then do it if you plan to turn him heel again, because that’s the type of reaction he’ll get. The largest percentage of WWE fans don’t follow online, just on TV & PPV. They’re still sheep, and will follow whatever you push out there.
“Next is the issue with Orton’s ‘new personality’. You can only go so far with it. I honestly hope and pray they don’t kill off the Viper side of Orton just to win fans as they are behind him because of his Viper side. Now, there could be situations that could lead to a softer Orton but those situations should not play out right now when they need him on top. And to stay on top, you have to be vicious, on-guard, and most of all, dangerous no matter the situation. Its those aspects that got him where he is now. Its how Austin got and stayed at the top. WWE should actually listen to the fans when it comes to the money-maker that they have as champion.”
~D-Majick
I love the description you have of what it takes to stay on top. Austin, Rock, Edge, Jericho, HHH, Orton, even Cena and yes, even JBL are great examples of champions who followed this. And like many of you said, I really hope Orton doesn’t lose that.
“The Four: I don’t really know a lot about DGUSA so I’m not sure who should beat BxB Hulk for the title. I guess I would say Davey Richards because I think he would be a good person to take his title.
The Three: just like DGUSA, I don’t really know a lot about ROH. I read highlights of the shows and PPVs, but don’t know much else about it. It does sound like a good show coming up, so I will probably read about it after is happens.”
~Still Guest#8287
“I think this was another solid outing DeMarco but the one thing I would say (and it’s kinda proven by the guy saying he doesn’t know about DGUSA & ROH) is that this is a main article on here. You are not reaching people that like or even would decide to go check out either DGUSA or ROH so really, making them a part of your column isn’t serving your reading public as well as it could.”
~Guest#7433
First off, thanks for the compliment. I take it as one when someone calls this a main article here, since I’m only 5 editions in. Fans who read my column are going to have a huge range of viewing habits. But they’re more likely to follow ROH & DGUSA (plus Chikara, PWG, etc.) than someone who doesn’t read this column or even 411Mania at all. When I ran my own site, I also covered Chikara, PWG, NWA, DGUSA & ROH along with the WWE & TNA. Despite having a reader base that was a tiny fraction of what I have here at 411, I had multiple people say they checked out something different thanks to my writing. That in mind, I always assume that my five points (and some of the extras) won’t be 100% relevant to 100% of my readers. But diversity is good. I discovered ROH myself in 2005 thanks to reading about it online. If we only cover WWE & TNA, no one will ever discover new things as a fan. And isn’t that why Al Gore invented the internet to begin with?
“Have to go with Mickie. Cookie looks like she just had a transsexual operation.”
~Black Scorpion
Really Scorp? Really? That’s like saying we all know you’re really Ric Flair under that mask. Oh, wait…
“Funny how badly WWE ripped off Seven’s entrance for the Undertaker. I thought Seven was awesome and then we actually just got bland Dustin Rhodes instead, a poor decision.”
~nWo4Life
Bwahahahahaha, nWo4Life told a funny joke today! And if youm were serious…even better.
“Kudos to whoever’s idea it was to post the last pic of Candace before the video!”
~all your readers
You mean this one?
I found it on accident, and it replaced the originally planned picture. Again, proof that I enjoy “different views & perspectives.”
“Yea, I hate when the WWE he acts like in order to be a face, you have to constantly shake hands and have a corny smile on your face all the time. that was very noticeable after Kozlov’s first face “run”. The week before had had destroyed somebody, then the following week he had this bright Sunny D smile on his face throughout his match. They seem to be doing the same with Ezekiel (or not knowing what to do).”
~SS87
Ah…87. That was a good year for SS. I agree with you here, and it makes it even worse when a wrestler turns and can suddenly partner & get along with someone who they damn near tried to kill in the recent past.
“Cookie, and you know damn well those aren’t the best pics of her, check out the one in her poke-a-dot dress”
~Guest#6048
Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think it would have mattered. In hindsight, Becky “Cookie” Bayless didn’t stand a chance last week. But she’s got time to get a higher profile.
” “Way better than Paul Roma & Dennis Stamp.”
Nobody and nothing is better than PAUL ROMA.”
~Paul Roma? Yes, Roma!
That’s merely what YOU think, Paul. And as we all know…
“Greg DeMarco, take a bow. *****”
~RJW
This one actually comes from this week’s 411Wrestling Top 5, but how can I possibly leave it out. RJW…my good friend Maria Kanellis* has a message for you:
*Maria & I aren’t actually friends. But I know we’d get along swimmingly.
Based on the current storylines, what we know is important to the WWE, and what we’ve heard about the future, here’s the direction I think we’re headed in for WM27. This list will change as the event approaches, so we’ll revisit when it feels appropriate.
The Streak is on the Line
The Undertaker vs. John Cena
WWE Championship
Wade Barrett (champion) vs. Randy Orton
The Rematch
Triple H vs. Sheamus
Daniel Bryan vs. CM Punk
Not off to a bad start. Still plenty of open space, including Edge, Kane & the rest of the Smackdown crew not named Taker, the possibility of a Chris Jericho return, and more. I really hope we see Sting at WrestleMania. I know he’s the main guy who didn’t have a WWE run, and many people want to keep it that way. I don’t care about that. I’d love to see Sting (even in his current shell-of-his-former-self form) at the big show. Like I said, we’ll revisit this every few weeks, more often as the actual event approaches.
You Decide: What do you think we’ll see at WM27? Not what you want to see, but what you think we’ll see.
This week’s “&1” model of the week is a 2004 WWE Diva Search contestant, and JBL’s former image consultant, Amy Weber! Imagine what could have been if she didn’t misfire that sleeping dart. Stupid inflatable dinosaur.
Another great week comes to a close with a question. Did you find the Miss Tessmacher/Brooke Adams “easter-egg” link? Great. Now go back and find the other one. That’s right…there’s two! Ooohhh, that second one’s tricky…
HA!
Some great new articles dropped in the last day or so. Check out JP Prag’s The Hamilton Ave Journal, The Nevett’s High Road/Low Road featuring the Aksana-Goldust Wedding, Randy Harrison’s Bell to Bell News Report and all of the great news reports and columns found here at 411!
Thanks again for reading The Wrestling 5&1. Lots to talk about this week. Go vote for Mickie or Madison, share your “You Decide” opinions, leave a comment, talk some wrestling, and feel free to shoot me an e-mail at [email protected]. Until next time…
It’s a shameful thing … Lobster Head!
(By the way, if anyone has any other strange interpretations of wrestler theme music, feel free to e-mail them to me so I don’t have to keep using the same two. I’ll give you credit, I promise!)
