wrestling / Columns

The Grand Stage 15.01.11: Squash That Fly

January 15, 2011 | Posted by Obi Justice

Hello and welcome once again to The Grand Stage! For the second week in a row we’ll be looking at something of a forgotten art in today’s pro wrestling, at least on the national circuit. This week, I’ll try and break down squash matches and make a case for them being useful in pro wrestling.

Carl chimes in:

I wonder if this is a by-product of consolidation, with WWE as the only major promotion left. A manager is primarily a TV role. With there being so few promotions with a TV contract, how does someone work on their character the way they did in the past?

A good point that I hadn’t thought about. I think managers’ decline has less to do with managers themselves than with the focus shifting onto wrestlers who can talk, but this is definitely a factor.

rey has some thoughts as well:

another role for the manager is the rub/magnet. you mentioned it earlier. a wrestler isnt as over as they should be. they get a manager who has heat. thus now that wrestler has heat.

True, managers do transfer heat, but to me it’s not a role or function in the same way as the functions I outlined. Transferring heat is an effect produced by being a mouthpiece, a distraction, enforcer, etc.

Guest 0610 disagrees:

yeah, this whole iwc lovefest of managers is really annoying. really few great managers. the rest meant nothing but another talent to give a paycheck to every two weeks wasted.

You’re right, but at the same time, I believe there are few really great wrestlers as well relative to the number of wrestlers around. I don’t think a manager’s check is wasted unless the manager is so bad at his or her job that they bring down the talent that they are managing. If you want to make the most out of every talent you have on your roster, banking on everybody being a great talker is not the way to go purely because it doesn’t happen. Take a look at the WWE now, a company that is focused on trying to produce these kinds of all-rounded stars. How many of their roster are really both great in the ring and great on the mic?

An average wrestler who can’t talk is not that exciting when he’s not in the ring and likely is not even worth watching in the midcard. At best, that guy is enhancement talent. If you put that average wrestler with an even an average talker, you might not have a main eventer but you have a solid act. The sum becomes greater than the parts. And if you can put an above-average wrestler with an above-average talker, you have a really entertaining act that can go places.


Fu Manchu knows the deal.

Squash matches used to be the order of the day. Watch some AWA on ESPN Classic or early 90s editions of Raw, even WCW Nitro. Once they dominated wrestling programs, but now they’re pretty much gone. Why? And is this really a loss? That’s what we’ll be looking at on this week’s The Grand Stage!

What Is a Squash?

In MMA I’ve heard the term “showcase match” used to describe a fight where a top level fighter, or someone that the company wishes to promote as a top level fighter, squares up with someone considered well below their skill level. The reason such a match is put on is to make the person being showcased look good without a strong risk of them losing the bout. Someone who is known as a dangerous fighter will definitely draw more people’s interest when put up against someone of worth. These types of matches are used to introduce new fighters to the public or to help rebuild someone marketable after a loss. If there was any doubt that MMA has been cribbing ideas from pro wrestling, this should put a few of them to rest. Wrestling has been using the same strategy at least since the 70’s to make its talents look better for future bookings. What in MMA is being called a showcase is usually known in pro wrestling as a squash.


Tasty when cooked well, but not the subject of this column.

A mixed martial arts showcase allows a fighter to display his or her particular talents to the audience. A great striker will display his knockout power, a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu expert will tie up her opponents with some painful looking and effective submission, a wrestler takes his opponent to the mat and lays in some ground and pound, and so on and so forth. The idea is that the lesser talent, the one not being showcased, is simply not skilled enough to prevent the showcased fighter from using his or her favorite tactics. Therefore, we get to see what this fighter can do and establish them in our minds as a certain type of fighter. We can then start to speculate where they fit in in their current weight class, who would be “good matches” for them, who would provide clunkers, who might “expose” their weaknesses.

Again, in pro wrestling it’s much of the same when talking about squashes, except for the added dimension of a wrestler’s persona. While in MMA the personalities of fighters definitely shine through, in wrestling these personas are supposed to be larger than life and play an intrinsic role in any match. Because the less-skilled wrestler can’t defend themselves properly, the wrestler slated to win can display not only his fighting skills but his particular charms in the way of mannerisms. Against a top tier opponent these taunts and so forth might be critical mistakes, but against a so-called tin can, they only make the match more exciting.

Wrestling squashes are typically pretty short matches, only a couple minutes at most, illustrating that the showcased talent is that much better than their opposition that it only takes a little bit to get the victory. However, because of this, any short one-sided match is called a squash, no matter if it’s against an unknown tin can or against an established talent.

Varieties of the Vegetable

Like most things in wrestling, there are a few different types of squashes that can be identified. Categorizing them isn’t always the most accurate process — certainly some might overlap, there might be room for more categories, and some might say they’re not necessary at all — but categorization helps to figure out just what a squash can accomplish.

Traditional squashes are basically what was described above: a “good” talent against a “substandard” one put together for the sole purpose of making the good talent look better. The tin can typically gets in only a little offense, if any. If they do, this is just to set up something else for the showcased wrestler to do. With a squash like this, you don’t sacrifice anybody essential. However, it does become tough for the tin can wrestler to get out from under their perception as such. Traditional squashes are usually against a low-level talent, relatively unknown, typically not part of a promotion’s regular roster or at least not promoted as a big-time star. Aside from getting across the idea that the showcased wrestler is better, it also puts forth the idea that this promotion is the best around and that there is little or no strong outside competition.


“Ace” Bob Orton shows off his trademark villainous tactics.

“Competitive squashes”, though a seeming contradiction in terms, are basically a ramped-up version of the traditional squash. Mostly I’ve seen this used in Ring of Honor’s HDNet show, though it’s not infeasible that it’s been done elsewhere. In a competitive squash, the “tin can” is not really just a bump in the road. They are allowed to show that they can get the job done and generally get in a good amount of offense, even to the point of scoring a solid near fall. However, at the end of the day, this is still a squash and the showcased talent still goes over in dominating fashion. Again, the lesser wrestler is usually a relative unknown, or in ROH’s case often a student from their academy. Competitive squashes put forth the notion that while there is great talent in the promotion you’re watching, there is also strong talent from outside and perhaps if they step up their game they might find themselves here. The lesser talent in a competitive squash can show that they have ability and might be worth looking up in the future.

Storyline squashes break from the mold of squashing unknown wrestlers. Their purpose is to further something specific about the character rather than just showing them in a strong light. The infamous Sheamus squash of Daniel Bryan from last year showed that Sheamus was mad as hell and not going to take it anymore, in such a state that someone the caliber of Daniel Bryan (then and currently the United States champion) could not stand up to him. Goldberg’s initial monster push in World Championship Wrestling is another great example of a series of storyline squashes in which he went over established talent quickly to show that he was such a machine that even the best that WCW had to offer couldn’t stand in his way. Storyline squashes help to build up the winner to an even greater degree than the other two categories, but they also have the possible side effect of making the loser look bad.


GOLD BERG! GOLD BERG!

But Are They Entertaining?


Yes.

World Wrestling Entertainment has, for the most part, phased out its squash matches in the sense of pitting a known talent against an unknown. This started in the Attitude Era as far as I can tell. There are still low level talents such as Zack Ryder, Evan Bourne, Yoshi Tatsu and so on, but there seems to be some minor interest in these wrestlers, the notion being that they are still legitimate parts of the roster despite them getting handily beaten all the time by the real focuses of the company. A guy like Evan Bourne who is usually used to make others look good gets his on and off chances to shine. In addition, matches on Monday Night Raw tend to be short, which makes a squash almost useless since their established talent are getting beat quickly anyway. Total Nonstop Action has never outright used a squash match to my knowledge.

I believe that part of this has to do with the idea that squash matches are not entertaining. I don’t believe this is true. “Skullcrusher” Rasche Brown’s squashes were some of my favorite parts of ROH on HDNet during his short tenure there, due almost entirely to his entertaining character. Goldberg’s popularity definitely proves that there is worth to squash matches. And it shouldn’t be restricted to just big men either. I would enjoy seeing Kofi Kingston or AJ Styles just work their magic against someone who doesn’t pose much of a threat just so I could see them break out their moves and entertain the crowd. I think it really says something about a wrestler whose personality and skill can carry a match all on their own.

In addition, if I can step into the booker’s chair for a moment, it allows match-ups to remain fresh. If Kofi Kingston can show how good he is against an unknown, he doesn’t need to keep facing Dolph Ziggler week in and week out. Promos can help to carry the story, we can see that Kofi is still hungry for competition through his matches, and there is less saturation of a particular match on free television. In my opinion, this makes any storyline stronger because you save the direct conflict for a climactic moment rather than trying to twist and turn that conflict and bleed it dry over a number of weeks.

Much like last week’s subject the manager, squashes are something of a lost art in modern professional wrestling. The idea seems to be that wrestling has moved beyond them. However, I think squashes have something to add to both those who prefer a straight wrestling product and to those who like sports entertainment.

That’s it for the Grand Stage this week! As always, before I sign off I’d like to give a few plugs to other 411mania articles and columns.

We’ve got news here! Randy Harrison covers things from Bell to Bell while Steve Cook reports from his (reportedly never washed) Corner!
“Awesome” Ari Berenstein squares off with Greg “The Crusher” DeMarco in this week’s edition of Buy or Sell.
And in our second match-up of the week, “Massive” Matt Sforcina takes on Michael “Up Yours” Uphoff in a no holds barred Fact or Fiction match.
Mistakes were made and we at 411mania can’t let you forget it! Our Top 5 this week recounts the Biggest Mistakes of 2010 as recounted by members of the 411 wrestling staff.
And last, but certainly not least, the Massive One lets people ask questions of him in the always entertaining Ask 411 Wrestling.

Join me next week right here on 411mania!

You think you’re civilized, but you will never understand…

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