News From Cook’s Corner 06.01.11: 1-50 of the Hot 100!

Hi, hello & welcome to Part 2 of the Second Annual News From Cook’s Corner Hot 100! I’m Steve Cook, and today we’re hitting up the top fifty based on the following characteristics:

-Physical Appearance
-In-Ring Ability
-Verbal Competence
-Future Prospects
-Cook’s Insane Standards For Women

This list is based on the year that‘s elapsed since the last Hot 100…to paraphrase a baseball legend, we’re not here to talk about the past. We slightly mention the past by listing the lady’s ranking last year next to her name, but that’s it.

I know that some of you will be disappointed that your favorite lady wrestler did not make the list because they slipped my mind or they fly a little too far under the radar. My response to this is that I requested tips & advice from the readership for several weeks before finalizing my list. If you didn’t advise me to include your girl you’ll have to take R-Truth’s advice and boo yourself, Little Jimmy.

I’ve tried to make this feature as safe for work as I possibly could, but if you have a slow computer that takes awhile to load stuff, or if your workplace is really, really strict about what you’re looking at, I highly recommend you wait until you get home to read this. You have been warned.

Here’s 51-100 if you missed them.

And now…number fifty through number one!

50. Taylor Wilde (24)

Taylor left the wrestling business behind after leaving TNA, but we’ll always remember her as the very first News From Cook’s Corner cover girl! Ah, those were the days.

49. Christina Von Eerie (NR)

You gotta like the unique look of CVE. I like her a bit better when the hair’s spiked up, but she’s got a lot going for her, and isn’t bad in the ring either.

48. Beth Phoenix (41)

Beth might still be the best in-ring Diva, but it’s tough to tell when she’s never in the ring.

47. Melina (53)

She’s been pretty much a non-factor in WWE lately…at least on TV anyway.

46. Ivelisse Velez (NR)

That is one strange first name, but Velez was very impressive during her Tough Enough run. I get the feeling that we haven’t seen the last of her.

45. Serena (72)

It’s too bad that she only had one match with WWE before getting fired for extra-curricular activities. Girl’s got great in-ring ability if she can get her head on straight.

44. Tiffany (40)

This girl would rank a lot higher if she didn’t single-handedly ruin Drew McIntyre’s career over the past year. Yeah,, ruining careers is a bit of a turnoff.

43. Sexy Star (10)

It was a rough year for Sexy. Not only did she not do much of anything in AAA, but her attempt to get a job with WWE didn’t go so well. It’s too bad, the chica’s got a lot of potential and she doesn’t look bad without the mask.

42. Vickie Guerrero (NR)

When Vickie Guerrero first started appearing on WWE television, nobody in their right mind would have predicted she would become one of the best heels in the business. She’s done that, and gotten into pretty good shape too despite the fat jokes coming from WWE Creative.

41. Leva Bates (73)

You gotta like a girl that dresses up like various comic book characters.

40. Michelle McCool (9)

Michelle has left WWE in order to be with her husband Undertaker. I doubt the injuries she had made that decision difficult for her.

39. Cookie (29)

I wasn’t a huge fan of TNA ripping off the Jersey Shore stuff, but it did result in Becky Bayless getting a job, so it wasn’t all bad.

38. Karen Jarrett (NR)

I’m very happy that Kurt Angle & Jeff Jarrett have mended their fences and can work together with Karen involved. Even though the angle’s pretty terrible, Karen has done very well with her role in it.

37. Daffney (22)

Daff has had a pretty rough year, but we’ve already discussed that enough in my news columns. She’s returned to the indy scene and will be working ACW later this month. I fully expect this rating to get a lot of heat…it seems like the general public underrates Daffney while the Internet fans overrate her. I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

36. Jessie McKay (34)

SHIMMER girls like to run down Jessie because she looks like a Bella Twin. And this is a bad thing…why?

35. SoCal Val (13)

Val is striking in person and would be ranked a lot higher if I thought she was ever going to do anything in TNA other than ring announce on Xplosion and do trivia shows on the website.

34. Trina Michaels (NR)

Trina’s work in the porn industry is pretty well-known, and she’s switched from that to the wrestling business. Porn & wrestling have a lot more in common than most people want to admit. Trina’s worked in several indy promotions including Dragon Gate USA, where she managed the man now known as Dean Ambrose in FCW.

33. Jennifer Blake (38)

Jennifer’s managed to stay in AAA throughout the past year, and is pretty darn good in the crazy matches with men, women, midgets & transvestites they book her against.

32. Tenille (62)

Tenille recently signed a developmental contract with WWE after working SHIMMER & some Canadian indies the last couple of years. She was one of the trainees featured on Lance Storm’s World of Hurt television show earlier this year, and got that contract with WWE after showing up for their FCW tryout session a few months back. That’s called “showing initiative”.

31. Maxine (NR)

Michael Cole says something that’s right every once in awhile, and he was right when he said Maxine was the hottest girl on NXT. Shame she couldn’t wrestle or talk, she’d make an excellent valet for somebody though.

30. Kristin Astara (36)

Kristin has recently been appearing for the LLUSA promotion, which may be on television again sometime this decade. Hopefully it is…as much as I like Conor O’Brian and he seems like a good dude, I’m pretty sure I’d rather see his girl on TV.

29. Christy Hemme (12)

Christy is a much better ring announcer than interviewer, and she’s on TV more as a ring announcer. I approve.

28. Gail Kim (20)

Gail has not had a very productive year on WWE television, but her bank account isn’t complaining about it. She broke off her storyline romance with Daniel Bryan via Twitter, which will probably just be the first of many relationships ended via Twitter. I can’t hate on it too much, I usually end my relationships via wrestling columns.

27. Rosa Mendes (58)

Rosa doesn’t get a chance to do much these days, but she always looks good whenever she’s actually on television.

26. Rain (5)

Last year when Rain was in the top 5, she was on my TV all the time. Now that she’s never on TV, she’s nowhere near the top 5. The moral of the story: Get on TV!

25. Annie Social (31)

I honestly have no idea why Annie hasn’t caught on with one of the mainstream promotions. Girl’s way too hot to be bouncing around the indies as long as she has.

24. Cheerleader Melissa (8)

Melissa also falls into the “needs to be on TV more” argument…but honestly, it’s not like she was on TV a whole lot more when she was in TNA.

23. Mia Yim (NR)

I had more requests for Mia to be on this list than anybody else. After working several Northeast indies and receiving a TNA tryout, Yim is now part of the Embassy in Ring of Honor along with her work in CZW & other places.

22. Rima Fakih (NR)

Yes, somebody attractive enough to be Miss USA is going to do very well here. If I thought Rima was going to stick with this whole wrestling thing, she’d be even higher on the list. Alas, I think there’s too many other things she can do that don’t involve getting beat up by Bill DeMott. I expect this rating to get a lot of heat because it seems like every fan I talk to doesn’t like Rima too much. But I do, so there.

21. Rosita (NR)

I’m very impressed with what I’ve seen from Rosita so far, and she can only get better in the years ahead. She’s somebody to keep an eye on.

20. Sarita (37)

TNA finally realized they had Sarita on their roster this year, and she got to do a lot of pretty cool stuff. Her tag team with Rosita is pretty great and they need to keep that going.

19. AJ (97)

My favorite to win Season 3 of NXT ended up a little bit short of that goal, and hasn’t done a whole lot since. There is hope, as she appeared on last week’s SmackDown in a tag team match with her BFF Kaitlyn. Even though they lost to two Divas going absolutely nowhere, I think this team has potential. My wish is for a feud with them & the Bella Twins. I have no idea if the matches would be good, but sometimes that really doesn’t matter.

18. Sara Del Rey (19)

Death Rey had a pretty productive year in ROH, CHIKARA, SHIMMER and probably several other promotions. We can hope that WWE doesn’t give up on the “Have somebody destroy the Divas” idea and brings in Sara to do just that. If that doesn’t happen, she can become the first CHIKARA singles champion.

17. Tara (49)

Pictures do not do this woman justice, and neither do her appearances in TNA. Meet her at a bar and you’ll see why Sforcina’s always going on about her.

16. Trish Stratus (15)

It’s been nice to have Trish back on my TV set. Had I been doing this list in the early 2000s, she’d have been on top of the list for a three to four year stretch.

15. Winter (16)

Even though Winter’s storyline in TNA has been quite ridiculous, she’s done the best that she can to be a believable time-traveling ghost/witch/serial rapist.

14. Lacey Von Erich (3)

With Lacey, it really didn’t matter that she couldn’t work, couldn’t talk & couldn’t do much of anything except look good. It’ll be disappointing when she’s not on this list next year.

13. Miss Tessmacher (7)

I thought Tessmacher was going to fall pretty far down the list this year after vanishing for a few months, but she reappeared at just the right time, and with the right amount of booty-shaking. Very impressive.

12. MsChif (21)

The thing I like most about MsChif (other than the flexibility and screaming) is the fact that wrestling isn’t her main job. She’s a biochemist when not appearing on various indy shows. She’s good at wrestling and science, which pretty much makes her a wrestling nerd’s dream girl.

11. Reby Sky (NR)

Reby hit the wrestling scene and hit it hard over the past year, with appearances in Lucha Libre USA, Dragon Gate USA, EVOLVE & other independent promotions. Her look & verbal talent dictate that she’ll be in one of the mainstream promotions by this time next year…it’s just a question of whether she wants to go to the grandest stage of them all or kick it in Orlando with her boyfriend. Either way, she’s done good work and I expect more in the years ahead.

10. Mickie James (35)

Mickie had a pretty strong comeback year with TNA. I’m not sure her wrestling has improved that much, but the emergence of the daisy dukes as ring attire has definitely improved my enjoyment of her matches. Forget the “Piggy James” stuff. It should also be noted that I have a thing for country girls even though I don’t particularly like country music.

9. Kaitlyn (NR)

This girl wasn’t even supposed to be on NXT, but she won the hearts & minds of the WWE Universe with her personality & her look that stood out from the rest of the Divas. Kaitlyn still needs to learn a lot about the in-ring side of wrestling, but she’s got the “it factor” to go a long way in the business.

8. Layla (27)

Layla had a very productive year as one-half of the Diva division’s top heel act, and then breaking away from Michelle McCool to go it alone. Her work has improved vastly over the past couple of years, and hopefully she’ll continue in that direction after recovering from knee surgery.

7. Kelly Kelly (23)

Another Diva that’s stepped her game up over the past year or two, and she’s even shown some personality once or twice lately. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Kelly was the one to take the Divas belt off of Brie Bella.

6. Madison Rayne (14)

Madison was the best in-ring Knockout over the past year, and there’s only one that’s ahead of her on this list. The only time I’ve ever been disappointed in Madison’s work was when she got jobbed out in 30 seconds at LockDown, and that wasn’t her fault.

5. Nikki Bella (18)

4. Brie Bella (17)

I am the President of the 411 Branch of the Bella Army. So why do I rank Brie above Nikki? We’ve had this discussion in the before…

“It’s like asking a mother to pick a favorite child. I have to preface this by saying that I love both Brie & Nikki and think they do an outstanding job on WWE television whenever they’re given an opportunity. You describe Brie as the sweet and wholesome one, but I remember reading a story in Rumble Road: Untold Stories from Outside the Ring that involved Brie getting drunk and swimming in a hotel pool while wearing a white dress. That’s when I decided that Brie was probably the one I’d be drawn to more. Also, Nikki modeled in a Kentucky jersey and that’s why I ranked Brie ahead of Nikki in the Hot 100 last year.”

My stance remains the same, and since Brie is the Divas Champion she should rank ahead of Nikki. Nikki’s still awesome and that backside of hers refuses to quit, but until she wins the Divas title and/or rocks a Louisville jersey to make up for the whole Kentucky thing, she’s behind Brie on this list. I’m looking forward to a year of the Bellas making life miserable for everybody in the Diva division, then Kharma coming back to kill them. Can’t wait!

3. Eve (4)

I was a little worried when Eve became R-Truth’s valet and did that horrible dancing to his horrible song, but she rebounded after that and shocked the WWE Universe to win the Divas title for a second time. My favorite thing about Eve might be that she has a blue belt in Brazilian Ju-Jitsu. You gotta like a girl that can ground and pound you, or make you tap out. Eve had a pretty strong case for number one going until I remembered the dancing, but at least it didn’t completely derail her career like it did to Victoria.

2. Maryse (1)

She was soooooooooo close to being number one again, but then I decided that I couldn’t have a repeat winner. Well, I could, but it’d be too predictable and people would get mad at me because I only have eyes for Maryse and yadda yadda yadda. Maryse had an interesting year…she didn’t find much success in the ring, but she has been entertaining on NXT & apparently she’s flashing people on airplanes now. That can only help her cause next year.

Our choice for number one did a lot to step her game up over the past year, and I have a feeling that most of the 411 Universe will accept her as their champion…

1. Velvet Sky (2)

Beyond the obvious physical qualifications, Velvet improved her in-ring performance, was one of the most popular faces in the Knockout Division, feuded with zombies & witches, and called everybody in TNA a whore or a slut at one time or another. It was a very productive year for Velvet Sky, and we’re happy to crown her ass. She is who we thought she was.

And there you have it! You are now free to go read Sforcina, Bazar & Ornelas…after commenting below on everything I messed up in this year’s edition of the Hot 100. See you next year!